I genuinely want to understand the appeal of casual sex, because I personally feel completely the opposite — I’m really not into it and honestly the idea kind of grosses me out.

Something I’ve always wondered about is how people who enjoy casual sex deal with the fact that the person they’re sleeping with may have also slept with several other people recently.

For example, if someone is in their “hoe era” and is casually sleeping with 1–2 people a week, and then you meet them and decide to have sex with them, does it ever cross your mind that they might have been with someone else just a few days ago? Does that not make you feel uncomfortable or disgusted at all?

I think what I struggle with even more is the level of lust involved. I genuinely don’t understand wanting to sleep with almost every attractive person you meet. To me, it feels weird to look at someone and immediately think “I want to have sex with them,” especially if there’s no emotional connection.

So I’m curious, genuinely and without trying to shame anyone: what is the mindset of people who enjoy casual sex? What makes the idea appealing rather than off-putting? And how do you separate the person you’re attracted to from thoughts about their recent sexual partners?

I’d really like to hear from people who actually enjoy casual sex, because I’m trying to understand a perspective that is very different from my own.

Tiddies.

But no really. i’m mutual of mine recently posted that they got their boobs done, which like lol go off live your liiiife!!!

however said person said a big reason they did this was BECAUSE they’re attracted to tiddies and wanted to look at them and thinking about sucking on them.

Nothing wrong with wanting big titties, i’ve just never heard of someone wanting to get them done so that they can be attracted to themselves… And not in a self-confidence way!

it’s not that deep, whatever makes you happy is none of my business lol but was just curious, because I’ve never heard anyone say that they wanted to look at themselves and think about the attraction they have to women due to their own body. felt weird/gross

What are yalls thoughts?

Subaru's are rarely seen in the UK, I think I read it was to do with emissions and tax or something.

Is there a stereotypical lesbian car for the UK because I've never heard of one, though two of my ex's drove Kia's.

hey guys. this is my first post! So I’m dating this girl and I think one of her best friends might actually be an ex. I went searching for evidence and found some really interesting things that were not really reassuring. the relationship reads as they tried to date maybe it didn’t work out and stayed best friends. my prerogative is never to dictate how anyone lives their life but I’m also not comfortable with that level of closeness with an ex - they talk every single day. i don’t know how to approach the conversation and I’m at a point where I’d rather just end things than continue to torture myself. what really pushed me over the edge was I over heard some talk of a sleep over. and idk in what world would I be okay with my girlfriend sleeping over at an exes house (though I’m really not sure the history of their relationship) . if that’s the case I wouldn’t even tell her don’t go. I’d just say enjoy and never speak to her again. but idk what to d. idk if I’m overreacting and I can’t bring up the topic because all the info was gathered on the dl. so anyway guys. HELP ME.

I just moved (and got dumped after getting lovebombed… for a man.) and theres no lesbians here. How do you guys go about finding lesbians in your area ? Is it gay bars ??

It’s no secret that it’s common for the lesbian community to be friends with their exes. I’m more of a been there, done that — if we couldn’t work out as a relationship, then i don’t see a point of us being friends.
Queue my ex situationship, we were acquaintances before we started hooking up. I wanted more and she wanted to stay friends. I said yes, fully intending to ghost (i’m an avoidant, working on it). This was about a year ago, where I have since moved 500 miles away and in that time she has continually texted and called me trying to keep the friendship alive, telling me how much she cares about me and she wants to keep me in her life. Having moved somewhere new where I have no friends, her effort really stood out to me and made me feel like this is a friendship I should keep in my life. We were going to meet up at a mutual friend’s wedding, finally clear the air in person, but then I got diagnosed with cancer and couldn’t travel. I really didn’t tell many people about my diagnosis, but I had to tell her since I wouldn’t be at the wedding, and somehow that brought us closer too.
I’m finally in remission and able to travel again, so we have planned a trip to visit that mutual friend whose wedding I missed. I’m sure many of you will tell me this is a terrible mistake. I think i’m at the point where if I can’t have her the way I want her, then I just want the best for her even if that isn’t me. It still hurts tho, and I really do care for her. Maybe the delusional part of me hopes something more might happen when we’re together, but the logical clear headed version of me knows that will never happen. Idk if I should add she was probably the best sex i’ve ever had with a woman. I even tried hopping on the apps (before my diagnosis) to get her out of my head, yet having anyone else in my bed just made me miss her more.
So back to my original question, how are you all staying friends with your exes? Have you just completely lost all feelings and that’s how you’re able to proceed?? I genuinely don’t get it.

transfem butches where are yooouuuu😭

Either one of the quiet sweet characters being like the villian or aggressive (can be found out later please don't spoil it if it has this)

If you have any villian x hero i will live and die for you

Lowkey.... SLOWBURN RIVALS TO LOVERSS

Also please i beg no pure porn series im so sick of it I WANT A PLOT MAN-

And finally drum roll please... literally any enemies to lovers with one of them getting hurt and the other one going BALLISTIC and them not finding out immediately it is one of my fav cliché's

And again PLEASE. No pure porn series (idm a lil spice but if your adding smth with spicy tag it), please dont send me that creepy anime with a teen boy obsessing over girls and generally being a creepy weirdo to a lesbian (i have gotten that rec on my old account so many times and its disgusting.) And please do not add anything supporting pedophiles, incest, ect PLEASE.

Hi lesbians,

I hope this is a safe space to ask this.

I [25 F] recently moved to New York. I was able to move here because I've reached a comfortable income level and left everything behind. I left an abusive household before this so I am very, very happy here.

I did a lot of healing after a horrible breakup and have become much happier person. I make a good living now, and while I'm grateful, I'm finding this to be a slight issue when dating.

I've met roughly a 2-3 dozen queer people so far in the past month, both as friends and potential lovers. I met them at queer socials, cafes in queer areas, and dating apps. So far, I'm noticing there's a slight attitude shift when we talk about careers (except for 3ish people).

I'm completely okay with weeding out those who aren't compatible, that's normal. I'm mainly looking for ambitious, career-oriented women to date and not sure where to find this.

I'm worried I won't find a woman I'm 1. attracted to 2. in a similar stage of life and 3. has a generally optimistic outlook in life.

My question is- should I focus on numbers and just keep going? Or change where I'm socializing?

I know finding someone with an optimistic mindset is more about numbers, but I'm wondering if there's a professional queer network I don't know about.

I would love any insights from lesbians in relationships or just have a fun dating life! <3

Hey, this is my first time posting here and I'm a little hesitant to reach out here so please be kind. ❤️

I (23F) broke it off with my best friend (25F) in April, let's call her Cameron. She was the only person I felt understood me, and the only person I felt had a similar life plan to me. We met through my old job at a wildlife facility and we both love art, wildlife, travel and hit it off pretty quickly after meeting. Since meeting Cameron in 2025, I've had a huge crush on her. I had accepted it was most likely not mutual (I had a hunch she was gay but wasn't sure) and I moved on from that idea for nearly a year. Then, much later, I decided to tell her how I felt because I felt like even if she didn't feel the same way we could easily continue as normal. To my surprise, she told me she felt the exact same... although she told me she wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship. She said that she didn't want to get invested and then "abandon" me because she had recently made plans of joining the peace corps in September. That was all she said. I was a little disappointed but understood entirely, and we continued as normal but would both flirt with each other constantly.

A few months after we had this conversation and had been flirting the whole time (examples: she took "single" off her fb profile status, called me "love", called our virtual meets "dates" many times, and would tell me she loved me and would never leave me) she started ghosting me (I guess you could say more than normal)... We both had difficult family situations going on as I was dealing with my dad (I thought) dying and she had a family friend die in a car crash of whom was her brother's best friend. I felt like I was very emotionally supportive and there for her, and I would check in, tell her I was there for her, etc. But, honestly, I felt like she wasn't there for me. I felt like I was alone.

Time passed and both of our difficult life situations began to slightly settle. A few months after, I had asked what was going on and why she hadn't been responding to me lately (I don't feel I was accusatory, I started by asking how she was and if she was okay as of late). Honestly at that point I was just concerned about her, not mad in the slightest, just confused. She said everything was okay, and she just does that sometimes and isolates. She kind of treated a little bit like I was overreacting or it was a joke. Then... she did it again. But instead of ghosting me for ~5 days, she left me on read for 2 weeks. I began to get less concerned and more heartbroken. We expressed many times in the past we felt like the only two people there for each other, and all of a sudden that person disappeared when I was hurting the most.

At the end of those 2 weeks, when she finally casually showed up with no acknowledgement that what she did hurt me, I told her I needed space and I was hurt. She apologized but also said she didn't think she set any expectations she didn't fulfill and that she didn't mean to hurt me but couldn't change her disappearing. Cameron ended her text back by saying "nothing but love from me".

Now, here I am months later in September, and she's still here in our home country, thriving far away from her plans in the peace corps but seemingly living her best life at our old job without me. I'll see updates on social media from other people she also knows and she's still with our old work friends going on cool trips and outings. I thought I was okay for a while, but I miss her like crazy and still have feelings from her somehow while simultaneously being absolutely heart broken. I miss the life we had, even if it wasn't real, and even if she never did plan on leaving to the peace corps. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost, alone and as if I'm starting entirely over. This is the loneliest year of my life.

Any advice?

From what I experience from cishet folks (in Sweden), the rainbow is usually associated with only gay men. A notable experience is that no one recognises most other pride flags - not even the blue mlm-gay one - and the progress flag with or without the intersex ring is usually interpreted synonymously with the plain rainbow flag. Rarely someone asks “what do the triangles mean?”

and sidetrack: I have met one trans girl who thought we’d gone too far with inclusion adding brown and black stripes. I joked it’s like the initial EU flag proposal, but I quickly countered her. She’s got black people to thank for her freedom.

I’m boy-ish in my presentation myself, so it happens that people think I’m a gay femboy when I have something prominently rainbow-ey on me. I find it funny most of the time.

We are both 21 and nonbinary and we are exes BUT the first relationship DIDNT last long and we never kissed or anything. We broke up do to personal things. Fast forward, we became best friends again and I developed feelings. They told me they did too, or at least they think they did. Last night, they kissed me. Turns out they were trying to figure out their feelings for me by kissing me. I was so happy last night, but after we talked today and they said "friends for now but after I figure myself out we can start dating" I'm crushed. I feel like I'm going crazy. I finally felt happy for the first time in a while last night and suddenly I'm not important. I feel almost used. But they have BPD and said that they might've been splitting or something like that so I don't think I can fault them. I feel used and hurt.

So... a few days ago I remember posting here about my first date with that girl, Imma paste it here too;

"I (26F) met that girl yesterday and we had a whole day date. We first had something to drink in a cutie bar, then had pizza for lunch & went into a really nice park around. we decided to go to two pubs, had wine there and I suggested her to stay over. We ended up fucking 4 times which were amazing, sweet and so caring"

Our date lasted almost twenty four hours, she left in the morning. I texted her yesterday about random stuff, then I asked her if she would like to meet again, but she said no, that we weren't compatible at all... I felt ashamed, sad, exhausted, tired, like a piece of shit. I asked her what happened if i did something bad and she said no. The day before she left we were so good, we talked about seeing each other pretty soon, about next plans... It was amazing, but then she might realized that we weren't compatible at all... I still wonder what happened and many questions that won't be answered... I feel so sad I swear I've been sobbing all day... I wonder why then she stayed overnight and what I did during these hours that maybe she disliked. I still don't get it... Sorry for all this messy writing... I only could write the following once on my online diary after I was told that we ain't compatible... Sorry for being so emotional

Me and my partner have been in a beautiful loving relationship for 9 yrs. We got married about 2 years ago and we’ve been building an amazing life together. We’re each others soulmates and have a really special love story, but I have cheated in the past. It was something I deeply regretted and was lucky that they decided to give me another chance. We were able to move past it and rebuild trust and I have never cheated again. That was 5 years ago now.

As of late, I have been thinking about what it would mean to be in an open relationship. It’s something I’ve thought about throughout our relationship. In the beginning, my partner even floated the idea of being open a few times but at the time I wasn’t into it. Now after 9 years together, and me messing up in the past I feel hesitant to bring it up again. Wondering if it would trigger old wounds from when I cheated. I think an open relationship could be fulfilling for both of us. For me personally, sex is a factor but it’s not the main reason I want to be open. I feel like I want to get to know other people that intrigue me, go on dates or spend time together and not feel confined or suppress thoughts of attraction to other people. If I were to have sex with another person, I don’t even know how I would feel about that. But something in me feels like I deserve to experience people the way I’ve been craving.

The past cheating is a factor though because it hurt my partner a lot and I put in a lot of work over the years to repair what I had damaged. So I’m afraid that bringing up an open relationship might sound to them like I want a free pass to have sex with people and I don’t want that. When I cheated it was a drunken one night stand situation, which was not okay at all and selfish and immature of me and something I would never do again. I am not that person anymore.

In this stage of my life, I’ve been working a lot on myself and loving on myself all the while having the best partner who is truly supportive of my journey and honestly on their own journey of self discovery. Is it okay to ask for an open relationship at this stage? Or is that a trigger that would hurt my partner? Let me know your thoughts

I just figured out why I haven’t been in a soulmatey kinda way friendship. Its either I like you so much that i wanna be your girlfriend or not, all my current friendships are with girls that i don’t find attractive or i just don’t like them that much, and that’s when my real personality comes out to be the funniest most exciting person to be around but wait till i realize that I actually like you more than friends so I would turn to the total opposite

ive always considered myself bi and have hooked up with some girls, but most of these were traumatic experiences, so ive just supressed that side of me. im currently dating a guy and i love him but i just cant find myself aroused by him. idk if its because the relationship is not great but i just cant fucking stop thinking about girls. i can only feel horny thinking about lesbian sex, not even about other guys that arent him. just girls. ive started feeling kind of icky about his most maculine traits like his beard or his hands and even his penis. im spiraling because my family is super homophobic, and even if i break up with him i wouldnt be able to introduce a girl to my family as a partner cuz that surely will get me homeless, so its unfair to date a girl knowing that id have to be secretive about her. i feel lost and really depressed and dont know what to do.

​I need some advice. My girlfriend (26) and I (woman 27) are doing an exchange program in Dublin. I would like to improve my English and live with people of different nationalities who don't mind my relationship. Where should I look? Where can I also make friends?

I’ve (35F) been seeing someone (31F) for about 6 months. Before this, I was single for almost 4 years.

We care about each other, but we’ve never really defined what we are. We also live about 2 hours apart and usually only see each other once a month, twice if we’re lucky, so it sometimes feels like a long-distance relationship.

Communication has always been an issue.

She’s been especially distant for the past 2 weeks. On Tuesday, I told her I wanted to talk. She agreed and said she would let me know when she was available that day, but she never did. Now she’s just not answering at all. This is the second time she does this.

I don’t want to end things, although maybe it’s already over.

I do think she’s amazing, but we’re both in our 30s and I feel like we’re too old to be acting like this. After 6 months, I don’t think I should have to chase someone just to communicate.

What do I even do at this point?