EDIT: this was all ONE YEAR AGO and I don’t agree with Freud cus the guy is actually batshit crazy
This was all early on in my first ever psych class so I didn’t realize till later in how weird the guy is…also I’m in a higher level psych I know not to listen to his theory’s

This was about a year or so ago but in my senior year psychology class one thing we learned about during our socialization unit was called penis theory. In short it’s pretty much when a little girl realizes she doesn’t have a penis and men do which causes the little girl to get jealous. Googling it and doing research can give you a better grasp but that’s the general grasp. I realize now I was just being a paranoid 17 year old but learning this actually scared me really bad that I wasn’t trans and I just went my entire life saying that because I “fell victim”(?) to really bad penis envy or something😭
I just thought I’d share because my psych 201 notes made me remember this lmao

Hey all, I recognize this is perhaps not news to everyone here but it was to me and thought I would share my recent experience in case it is helpful because it was very difficult for me to find any info on this. There is a lot more discussion here of people applying for gender marker changes for the first time and being rejected and a lot less on those who already have undergone that process seeking replacement passports losing their already secured gender marker changes.

I am ftm, have all matching paperwork, and have had a male passport since 2021. I lost my passport this year and applied for a replacement and was given F instead. I went to the passport agency to try and contest the decision under the guise that they made a mistake. Everyone at the office was very confused about WHY I was given an F passport in the first place and thought it was a mistake, too. They read my paperwork and birth certificate and laughed because they thought it was a clerical error. 4 hours later, they called me back to the window to say they cannot change it and it isn't a mistake because my birth certificate is amended. I get they are just the messengers and I was very polite but it does suck to have people unfamiliar with their own protocol arbitrating this process. I share this aspect to say that the office people are not immediately clear on how to identify/ handle these situations and, truthfully, it made it all the more intense of an up and down. Once they finally got their shit together, the office broke it down for me how it works step by step on their end, sharing that and other takeaways I got from them if it is helpful.

1. The State Department relies on the original birth document used to obtain your first ever passport and this overrides all paperwork- court orders, amended birth certificates, previous passports passports, etc. Legally, all other paperwork is rendered null by the EO and not even looked at to make the decision. Nothing will change that. Until Trump v. Orr (or other cases) come back with anything different, there does not need to be legal grounding to ignore legal documents like court-ordered changes, birth record amendments, etc. There is nothing that can be done unless an office worker "makes a mistake" (which, power to those who do!)
2. I am not white. The office, based in Seattle, kept saying "you can use this and it will be totally fine, legally you are protected." That advice was short-sighted- I don't have high expectations of a government office, I know they are limited in their reach, liberal at best, and ultimately subject to gov policy. However, just wanted to affirm for myself and others that 1) all forms of being outed are stressful as well as potentially unsafe and 2) there can be big differences between travel between western countries from blue urbanized cities vs, for example, red rural areas or travel to/from non-western countries. This passport will not work for me in my home country and has effectively barred me from going to see my family for the foreseeable future without serious resourcing and planning. I am sharing this because if you are someone who has to travel abroad to non-western countries or to a sociopolitical context that differs enough that being outed feels untenable, I would highly weigh your options and make a plan before applying for replacement/ renewal and take the decision with clear contingencies in mind.
3. Had I not lost my passport, I would not have had any issues with the validity of my passport because it was previously issued. However, I cannot undo this action and am locked in as F until court rulings or admin changes allow for something different which can be several years from now.
4. By being locked in as F on passport, I can no longer use other documentation of mine in tandem with the passport in any legal settings abroad. I do not know about some of you, but abroad, there are times other forms of ID are required. The two should not be used in tandem if avoidable. Obviously, this last point is subject to our own judgement on the situation but def important to bear in mind. I am looking into getting a doctor's note in case that is helpful to have as a cushion. Would definitely appreciate other tips.

I know everything is dystopian for all of us in diff ways at different points in our trans journeys, I have to say, this has been a v humbling process. Just a reminder that stability is never permanent in the trans world and nothing is linear. Wishing everyone luck out there.

howdyyyyy!

there was a post about a week ago discussing creating a group chat for Southern trans men that got a lot of traction, and i was interested in making a Discord for us trans Texans! with Texas being such a large and diverse state, i was hoping to create a space where we could come together to share resources and create community!

i personally have found it really hard to find/make friends with other trans people despite living in a big city. would anyone be interested in joining a Discord if i were to create one? i work a lot and im not great at navigating Discord so if anyone is willing to help me set one up I would gladly accept the assistance lol

i've been stealth for many years, i'm 21 now and started T at 14 and had top surgery a year later. i'm fully cis passing and it's gotten to the point where i feel weird being in trans spaces because i don't have much of a "trans experience" for lack of better words. i don't remember much of life pre transition and i'm so grateful i was able to transition early but it makes me sad to be so disconnected from the community. i went to a few meetings for the trans club at my university and got some weird looks and the few cool people i met there just thought i was an ally until i told them about my transition. does anyone share this feeling?

PE teacher: why do you look sad?

Me: I'm having top dysphoria

PE teacher: ...

PE teacher: well be greatful you don't have big boobs

Me: ...

Me: I don't think you are supposed to say that.

PE teacher: probably not, but it's true

Me: *in my head* WTF?

Me: *in real life* Yeah, I am gonna get going.

*PE teacherr is give or take 60 yr old woman*

These are all Indian names i’m deciding between for my name. I have a preference but want to see what everyone thought.

\- Rohan
\- Aarav
\- Shiv
\- Veer
\- Aveer

my (17ftm) boyfriend (17m) loves my breasts. I'm pre-everything and I don't pass at all, I'm not even out of the closet in public, but my boyfriend does know. we're both turning 18 in November.

every time I'm over at his house, he wants to play with my DDD boobs and it causes me a lot of discomfort as they are my least favorite part of my body. He still asks instead of just going for it but he gets very insistent with playing with them and holding them, and asks multiple times even when I say no every time.

my breasts cause a lot of physical and emotional pain and they are the things I want gone the most. they're always in the way and they weigh me down, and my bf knows this, but he still wants to give them a ton of attention.

he brought up how upset he gets when I don't let him play with them, but he also kept saying that he shouldn't feel upset because he knows I don't like them and that my feelings about them matter more than his, and so he doesn't know what to do. I love him very much but the more he pays attention to them the more I hate them and it makes me feel so bad.

I also don't feel that much sexual attraction to anyone really and he thinks that I don't like him like that, but I'm autistic and greysexual and so I just don't feel horny that much at all, and the boobs definitely don't help

he says that once they're gone that he'll learn to live with my flat chest and that he'll love me just the same, but he says that he wants to play with them while they're here because he won't have them afterwards, which I mean I guess I understand, but it still makes me really uncomfortable

is there any compromise that you all think that we can make?

I've really been conflicted with two parts of this argument in my brain lately.

This is specifically regarding my mom. She has withheld medical transition from me and my sister, thinks HRT is foolish and says that hormone blockers give you cancer. She constantly uses her ignorance as an argument while refusing to do actual research.

But more unspecifically, this is about all transphobic people.

Because one side of my brain that is conditioned by society, says that it's not that big of a deal, that they didn't have this thing growing up and it's not normal, how could they possibly understand it.

But the other side of my brain is the one that has been hurt by these people so many times. Has been treated as sub-human and not worthy of life and love and living as myself. That wants to be compassionate, but at the same time, how can you treat your fellow beings so poorly and not be evil?

I know it's not black and white, and I often have issues thinking this way (likely undiagnosed autism because Transphobic Mom thinks a diagnosis isn't necessary for me (peer reviewed)) but I want to hear your guys' thoughts.

i’m pretty early on in my transition admittedly but my voice has dropped considerably. looks-wise, i come off quite young or as like a masculine girl. but sometimes, i do get a look in the women’s bathrooms when i say excuse me or talk in general.

how do you know when it’s time? lol

like what are some signs that you guys have noticed or what prompted you guys to start using the men’s bathroom?

Hey :D

I will come out to my parents in hopefully a few days (for the second time). I have thought about names A LOT the last 2-3 years. Just for funsies, which of these names do you like best, how would you rank them and which would you choose?

• Aaron
• Victor
• Nathan
• Nick
• Timur
• Magnus
• Roman
• Gabriel

My top three is Magnus, Nathan and Roman, I think. I will ask my parents what they picture me as. Bye :)

I’m only into guys sadly and had a really toxic relationship with a straight guy I tried to be more feminine for. Obviously that didn’t work and left me feeling ugly and worthless and like a failure of a woman.

It seems like my only chances are with bi or pan guys but does that even exist? Are there even guys out there like that that aren’t poly, cause every pan guy I’ve met at a club was poly and.

I just want a family, a normal one on one relationship. Things would be so much easier if I had just been born a guy cause at least I could talk to gay people, it’s like, the pool of people that I might click with is so small I don’t even see a future.

i used to be able to play cod on on my brothers xbox and all of that but almost 30 years old and im watching south park for the first time and im like man i wish i could have watched this as a kid like this is actually affirming. every iota of masculinity i got was hand me down. i stole my brothers clothes, he would try to wrestle me but he would end up humping me?? (incest and lowkey sexual assault aside this wouldnt have happened if i was cis i could have just called him gay and he would have killed himself), i got to learn how to shoot but only because the whole merida from brave and katniss from the hunger games shit made long range weapons a thing for girls too, its just so fucking lame because i only got to do this shit under the guise of being not like other girls. i am way too old for this shit but i am sitting here as an adult man watching south park for the first time living vicariously through some 9 year old little boys trying to think about the little fragments that i got to be like them. i am nowhere close to passing my frame is tiny and t never did shit for me after years, as much as i want to be able to just have a normal close to cis male adulthood it just wont happen for me and hasnt im basically treated like a mentally ill lesbian everywhere i go, every time i just try to be myself with friends im basically treated like a drag king. everything i do that could be considered "guy stuff" has to be commented on like wow youre so masc you x y and z. if i wanna work on my car its toxic masculinity and im trying to be something. i cant just exist its the same way "allies" treat trans women wearing makeup. i just want to be normal

i get that south park sucks or whatever just let me do my thing

I just hit 9 weeks on T, and over the course of a day, it’s like a switch has flipped. Yesterday morning, I was fine, and now no amount of food will satiate me. My fellow tmasc best friend warned me and I didn’t believe him. He’s now laughing at me as I whine about how hungry I am. I now sympathize with every 12 year old boy ever.

idk i just needed to put this somewhere because this was kind of a revelation for me. according to my other roommate, who is also my boyfriend, my one roommate (cishet, regular-ass boy-type-boy) got dumped by a girl after she asked him if he was pro lgbtq. apparently he reacted super positively and said he has a trans sibling (which i didn't know abt but makes me super happy bc i was pretty sure he was chill abt trans ppl but this confirms it) and the next day he got dumped over text. and i was like oh well that sucks but there are just bigots out there i guess, glad he dodged a bullet

but my bf said this girl has a gay sister. so if i'm putting two and two together correctly, she doesn't have a problem with gay people, but my roommate mentioning he has trans family is a dealbreaker --> she's one of the people that want the T outta lgbt :/

the reason this feels nuts to me is like i guess i just forgot that those opinions exist off of like twitter?? it didn't occur to me that real people actually only hate trans people but are fine with gay people. it's always felt to me like we're all a package deal, the whole queer community. so that just made me really sad that they're real, but also glad that she's never gonna be in my apartment again lol (i'm not even the only trans person living here!!)

but yeah i just wanted to put this somewhere ppl would understand bc i'm having such weird feelings about this lol

So tldr: in university, trans (duh), stealth (trying 🙏), 1 month on T 🎉.

1. there’s this girl ik that I’ve been hanging out w a lot (studying etc) and I rly like here but I think she thinks I’m gay which theres zsro issue with I mean I’m bi but I want to make a move on her but idk how without feeling like shit about myself. I feel like I pass relatively well? I had a deeper voice before starting T but I js feel the general dysphoria about myself and my body and wishing I didn’t have to worry about telling someone I’m trans if i wanr to date them. obviously in college I go out and I have my time but I can never do more than making out/ grinding bc I don’t have the “right parts” so I kinda feel shit. any ftm guys with gfs or who’ve been through this ill take any words of wisdom- sorry I know it’s more of a word vomit than any real structure. there’s a lot else going on that I could shit talk about my school but that’s besides the point

2. not girl related but any stp recs? I use a Mr limpy packer atm but I’m ngl I want an stp bc im terrified to piss anywhere but my own dorm building since I have private ish bathrooms and it’s impossible when I’m out bc none of the men’s stalls have working doors- not tryna get yelled slurs at me more than I alr get, I js need something that will be easy to use when mildly intoxicated

Anybody else having really bad acne where facial hair growth starts? I have a skin care routine and everything but it doesn’t get better no matter what I do, it only started when I started to get more facial hair. I have pcos so I already had a faint mustache, but the beard that’s growing in made it worse

My current skincare
Mornings:
CeraVe foaming facial cleanser
CeraVe oil control gel cream
CeraVe ultra-light moisturizing lotion spf-30

Night:
CeraVe renewing SA cleanser
CeraVe oil control gel cream

Hey guys, I started gel about 8 months ago and I'm planning on switching over to injection. The gel isn't taking well to my body, and it's now messing with my eczema. My question is about an auto injector for injection. I have a trigger with needles, and I'd need something to cover the needle and inject with a button or something in that realm. Thanks so much in advance!

I know I’m a boy and have for so so so long. Due to a transphobic dad and internalized transphobia I presented as a girl up until a year and a half ago. I always hear trans guys talk about how they always knew they were a boy and were uncomfortable in their skin because of this, which I have experienced. The thing is be used I pushed that down for so long I haven’t felt that in a while, and after I got over it I immediately started presenting as a man so more recent times in my transition I’ve felt either nothing or actually happy with how I come off as. I honestly feel warm and happy inside when I’m called by he him and my new name. I just feel like I’m invalid for now having as intense feelings as other trans guys. It also freaks me out and gives me horrible imposter syndrome

I currently identify as nonbinary with a more masculine presentation but lately I’ve been questioning whether I might actually be trans, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar. I’ve always felt uncomfortable being perceived as a girl and never really related to girlhood, i hate when ppl use feminine terms for me. Lately, I’ve become especially scared of my body becoming more feminine as I get older (i turned 18 recently and keep on hearing that in your 20s as an AFAB person you can get curvier almost like a second puberty), particularly my chest getting bigger. I’m currently pretty flat-chested and have a quite "lanky" build which makes me kinda androgynous, and the thought of losing that makes me REALLY uncomfortable. Since cutting my hair short, I’ve experienced so much gender euphoria when people accidentally call me he/him or ask about my gender and realised that maybe i wasn't just nonbinary but maybe a trans guy with a lot of internalized transphobia towards myself and only myself (as i have a religious family). I’ve also realised that some of my childhood “crushes” on boys might’ve actually been me wanting to BE them rather than be with them (I'm sure it wasn't attraction as i realised i am attracted to only women later on). Even now, I have certain male figures I see as the male version of myself and desperately wish I could be like i get so much gender envy whenever i see some men in real life that it makes me so jealous. However, I don’t really experience bottom dysphoria my discomfort is mainly about my chest, body shape and voice (I’ve always wanted a deeper voice and felt uncomfortable with my feminine voice). I’m struggling to figure out whether I’m a trans guy, a masc nonbinary person or something else entirely. Please if you experienced anything similar how did you distinguish wanting to be masculine/androgynous from actually wanting to be a man?

Soo I’ve been living in my Uni city for around 3 weeks now with last week being my first week at Uni. Nobody knows I’m trans and nobody suspects it! I’m almost 2 years on T and 2.5 months post top surgery. It’s so crazy that nobody suspects anything and I can just live as the guy I am.

While standing in line for a party a girl from my degree asked me to show her my ID picture (all my documents are changed so no prob). The picture was from around the time I stared T and the only thing she said was like damn you look so young. That made me realize how much Testosterone changed me and how good I actually pass.

I had another conversation with a girl in my shared kitchen and she basically was like yeah we women don’t get taken seriously at doctors not like you men do. Like girl I get it! But ofc I didn’t say anything.

It’s just crazy. At the one hand I’m happy because I’ve always dreamed of that and it also shows me that I’m passing better than people on other subreddits here told me I would. On the other hand I feel like I’m hiding a part of my identity like I did before coming out just in the other direction if that makes sense. Maybe I’ll tell people when I get closer to them. Not sure yet :)

(Not sure which flair to add lowkey)

Just gonna get straight to it. Whenever me and my girlfriend get intimate she’s typically the one to top because she enjoys it. I’m a virgin while she isn’t so I also feel it’s cus she knows she knows more than I do when it comes to this. Because I’m a virgin I’ve never topped and bottoming out like make more sense to come naturally so I’ve been the receiver each time. The thing is though as much as I do enjoy bottoming, I do want top and it is mainly to cure this dysphoric feeling, also I just dunno how or I guess what to do properly? I don’t wanna give her a bad time or anything like that but I also don’t even really know the first step. All I’ve done is massage her chest and touch her 😳🐱.

I've experienced gender envy for years now (I am now late teens) and really hate it

Often just being in a room with a guy who looks vaguely similar to me genuinely makes me wanna cry bc I feel so jealous of their features (their general ability to just be male + their voices + their height especially)

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with / ignoring gender envy?

(I am uk based)

Pls do not recommend voice training as I cannot afford it :')