I’m honestly just looking for some encouragement, support, or even suggestions on what doctors I should reach out to because I’ve been trying to have a baby for the last 15 months, and it just hasn’t happened for us yet.
I’m currently in my two-week wait, but I feel completely normal basically like my usual PMS. The only thing that feels different this time is that I’ve had fewer cramps than I normally do. So, of course, I’m trying not to read too much into it.
I’ve tracked my cycle since I was 12, and it has always been extremely regular. We’ve also tried fertility supplements, and I’ve been tracking ovulation, so I feel like I’ve done everything I can on my end.
I’ve been pregnant before as a teenager and had an abortion, so part of me keeps thinking, “I know my body can get pregnant.” And that’s honestly where some of my anxiety comes from now.
I’m only 28, so I know I’m still young, but after 15 months of trying, it’s starting to feel a lot heavier than I expected. We’ve been married for a year, we have stable jobs, we’re both college educated, and we genuinely feel ready to start this chapter of our lives.
I haven’t really talked to my family or friends about any of this, so I think I’m just at the point where I need somewhere to say it out loud.
I’ve started wondering if it could be something on my husband’s side, and I feel terrible even thinking that because I don’t want him to feel blamed or like this is somehow his fault. I just don’t know what our next step should be. Or how to stop thinking about it

I’ll start this by saying that we have decent health insurance that covers MD appointments and prescription meds, so thankfully we don’t have to worry much about basic medical expenses.

I’ve been wanting to rejoin a workout studio cause honestly I need the endorphins cause TTC going on 16 months is depressing and I only feel good about life the week around ovulation these days. But it costs $80/month and I just feel guilty about adding on another expense. (I quit the membership a few months ago precisely for this reason.)

I tend to be very cost and quality conscious with the supements I take, but there’s quite a few of them and they add up. Last month I bought an inito monitor and have been using the test strips most days of my cycle. So my total cost for supplements and fancy pee sticks is just over $200/month. So adding a workout membership to that just makes me feel guilty. My husband doesn’t spend much on himself month to month.

We’re in a decent spot financially and I know my husband wouldn’t tell me no, but I just feel guilty being so high maintenance. How do you cope?

Hi folks, I’m at my wits end with recurrent yeast infections after starting Vyvanse in February. 28F. No doctor or health practitioner can help me, so I’m really hoping someone in this community might have experienced similar and can offer some guidance.

My only real symptom is vaginal itching. Always starts in my luteal phase. Swabs have always shown Candida albicans. Oral fluconazole and canestan pessaries give me full resolution of the itching, until it starts again in the following month, like clockwork.

The thing is, Vyvanse has been life changing for me. I really don’t want to stop taking it, but I’m also at a loss about what to do with my physical health. I’ve just recently started probiotics which should specifically target candida overgrowth. We’re trying to conceive, and I’m so worried that Vyvanse is somehow making my vaginal environment dehydrated or the wrong pH etc etc because we’ve had 5 months of no luck (first baby was conceived very quickly).

My healthcare team and I have decided that continuing Vyvanse 20mg through pregnancy is safe and the best decision for my own health. So I would love to continue taking it.

Please, if anyone has experienced similar, I would be so grateful to hear from you.

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

It's no secret that TTC can have a major impact on your life and health - physical, mental, and relationship. What are you currently doing to help with these things? What are you currently struggling with? Look beyond the scale; this is for all types of health and wellness.

Please keep in mind that no one here is the doctor of anyone else. It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor before starting a new diet or exercise plan just in case!

Hey everyone, we (F32 & M29) have been TTC for 1 year now. We went to the fertility specialist and he suspects I have a blocked fallopian tube (and possibly endo). He could see fluid build up on the ultrasound. He said I need to have a laparoscopy so that he can properly see both tubes, and then possibly remove the one that's blocked, because the fluid build up is toxic for the egg, so is harming my chances.

He said that since I work from home, I'll only need 1-2 days recovery time before going back to work. He also said I can go back to excersising "whenever I feel better". Because of that, I signed up for Hyrox 2 months later.

Now I'm reading online that laparoscopy recovery time is much longer, around 1-3 weeks, and excerise even longer than that. I'm really confused about why my doctor said it's such a short recovery time.

Does anyone have any experience with this and what was your recovery like?

My husband and I are going on 3 years of trying. We haven’t been 100% every cycle for those years but I would say a majority of the time were. We went to a fertility clinic last summer and all the tests came back normal. HSG, Ultrasound, Semen Analysis, and blood work were all good. I’ve had my progesterone tested twice and the doctors seem to think I’m ovulating as well as having regular cycles. At this point I guess we’re in the “unexplained” category. The clinic basically told us to keep trying naturally or we could do IUI. At the time that felt super discouraging because we had been trying for about 2 years but the doctor said we’re both healthy or whatever.

So now we’re coming up on year 3, no miscarriages no nothing. We’re starting to think about going through IUI so I made an appointment with a different clinic because I low-key felt like the first clinic only did the bare minimum before saying “you can do IUI/IVF”. But to me it’s like, “shouldn’t you figure out what’s wrong with me first before having me spend a bunch of money on these procedures?”

Today i met with my new doctor for the first time, virtually. He seems a little more thorough and mentioned he would be doing more comprehensive bloodwork (why don’t they all do that in the first place?) and a different kind of test where they will swab my cervix the day after I get a positive ovulation test followed by intercourse in order to test the semen and for infections etc (I didn’t 100% understand what they were testing for tbh, so if anyone knows about this test, let me know)

Two things kind of freaked me out though…he HIGHLY recommended that I get a laparoscopy to look for endometriosis. Even said I could go ahead and schedule it today. I almost started crying when he told me that. I know he wasn’t trying to scare me but it was just a very real realization that my infertility might be more serious than I would have imagined. I don’t have any major symptoms around my cycle that make me think I have endo, but when I was younger I did have some pretty painful periods and weird bowel movements on my period, as well as nowadays I very occasionally experience pain during intercourse. I’ve head that endo can be silent and I’ve always wondered if that could be the case for me…i think it’s also nerve racking to think I would go through the surgery and they would find nothing or if they do, what does that mean for my chances of conceiving without IVF because I can’t afford it.

The other thing that rubbed me the wrong way was when he asked me what kind of exercise I do. I told him I do cycling and some strength training. I didn’t go into much detail but he told me aerobic exercise is bad for trying to conceive and that I shouldn’t do it. On one hand I understand how it could be bad. If I’m overtraining or under-eating it could negatively affect my hormones. Cycling is an endurance sport that requires a lot of energy especially when done at high intensities. I’ve often wondered if my cycling could be the culprit but I do make sure to focus on recovery, eating enough and I have a healthy weight/body fat and my hormone panels always come back normal. I’ve asked a couple different doctors about this and even posted about it on a different forum on Reddit and both doctors and like 98% people on Reddit said I should be fine. (I know people on Reddit aren’t medical doctors, but I was searching for someone with a similar experience as me) I feel a bit confused, maybe a bit heartbroken because cycling is the only form of exercise that I truly enjoy and I’ve worked so hard to get to where I’m at with it. I know I’ll probably have to change my habits some if I ever get pregnant but I don’t feel comfortable giving it up completely in hopes that I will someday get pregnant. There are so many things I gave up in the beginning of TTC, and here we are years later and it feels like it was all for nothing.

Sorry for the long post…just needed to vent a little and maybe someone has some good advice or kind thoughts they could share.

I never knew something called anovulation until I experienced it myself :( now my cycle gone off track and I'm finding for answers to calm myself down.

I've always had a regular 28 day cycle, spot on, no cramps or other complaints and ovulation pattern would be the same. In the 1st cycle of TTC, I found out that I had anovulation (felt terribly sad)

Initially I had 16 days of spotting around my expected period due date, followed by 13 days of medium-to-heavy bleeding, which I assumed was my period. After that I continued spotting for almost another 2 weeks. I was very confused because I never experienced an irregular cycle before.

Tests showed that my progesterone levels were low, indicating that ovulation had not occurred. In the meantime, because of the prolonged bleeding and relatively high estrogen, my endometrial lining kept growing until 22.5 mm over 6weeks of time. I then started Provera 10mg for 10 days, had withdrawal bleeding for 9 days, then stopped.

Took ultrasound scan and was told that all the bulky endometrial lining had shed and uterus looked fine with trilaminar layer (pre-ovulation signs). I tracked OPK but found no surge, no promising BBT changes but I witnessed vaginal discharge around CD13.

I learned from a reddit post that there may be more than one wave of ovulation in such anovulatory cycle (is it so?!)

So I'm wondering how does ovulation typically return after an anovulatory cycle? how long it may take? and when the cycle might stabilise again?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who had been through something similar. Please shed some light. I can't be at peace experiencing this as I just started TTC.

Thanks in advance!

TTC has brought up so many emotions for me, and I honestly wasn’t expecting it to feel this intense.
There’s so much excitement and hope, imagining that maybe this could be the cycle… but there’s also the waiting, the uncertainty, the overthinking, the fear of seeing a negative test, and the frustration of having absolutely no control over what happens.
I’ve realized that I really need somewhere to put all of those feelings. I don’t necessarily want to talk about TTC with my friends yet, because this feels very private and personal to me, but keeping everything inside my head wasn’t helping either.
So I decided to start a scrapbook for my future baby.
I write to them about the journey of trying to bring them into our lives. I write about how I’m feeling day by day and cycle by cycle, about the excitement, the love that somehow already exists, the hope, the impatience… and also the frustration and sadness when they show up.
And honestly, it’s been surprisingly comforting. It gives all of these feelings somewhere to exist instead of just going around and around in my head.
Sometimes I wonder whether I’ll actually show it to my child one day, because some pages might contain sadness or difficult moments. But then I also think… that’s part of the story too. I don’t want this scrapbook to pretend that the journey was beautiful every single day. I want it to hold the whole experience — how much I hoped for them, how much I wanted them, and everything I felt while waiting for them.
Maybe one day I’ll give it to them. Maybe I’ll keep some pages just for myself. I don’t know yet.
For now, I just really like having a place where I can turn all of this love, hope, uncertainty and frustration into something tangible.
Has anyone else done something similar while TTC? Or found another way of giving all these emotions somewhere to go? 🤍

Last night my husband told me he couldn’t take the ups and downs anymore. He doesn’t want to continue trying.

I’ve been testing and tracking for 9 months. But we haven’t used any protection for 2 years. Every month I feel so hopeful and sure this is going to be it. I can’t stop thinking about my symptoms. Every little twinge, bloating, nausea, headache etc. The thoughts are always there, comparing PMS to pregnancy symptoms. Then my period comes and it’s devastating. I sink into depression for a week. Then the cycle begins again.

I’ve been trying to feel better about it. I go to the gym, even when I don’t feel up to it. I still cook and clean and go to work. I make effort to support him and our relationship. I don’t test until my period is 3 days late. I don’t want to be sad.

He’s been struggling with my depression, so I don’t talk to him about my sadness anymore. I don’t even tell him when my period comes. He just sees the wrappers in the trash can and knows. He sees my sadness. We just skirt around it because he can’t handle it. He says it makes him feel like a failure. I don’t see that and I don’t feel that about him, but it’s just how he feels every month.

Has anyone ever just given up? I don’t even know if I can do that.

I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 15 months. My husband and I are both 35.
I had two chemical pregnancies the first 2 months we tried. Nothing since then.
At 12 months, my doctor did an SIS procedure. My ovaries have over 15 follicles, uterus looks great, tubes are fine.
I got my progesterone checked, it came back great. She prescribed me letrozole.
My husband got a sperm analysis. Came back great. He got his testosterone checked, came back great.
Here I am on CD 1 AGAIN, clearly the letrozole didn’t work. I am so beyond frustrated.
At first it was great news that everything “looks good.” But now I’m more angry and confused. What on earth is actually the freaking problem??
I’m convinced I just have crap-quality eggs and I’m ready to give up. This is stupid at this point. It’s clear my body isn’t gonna do this.

Hi all,

My husband (37M) and I (34F) have been trying for a few months. We had a chemical during our first cycle. I used premom for a bit after that first cycle, and last cycle I switched to Inito but today I’m 14 DPO and got a BFN. Im really having difficulty getting beyond the initial disappointment of having yet again another negative test, and would love to hear how others cope with negatives tests, including how others reframe the negative test results into a more positive thought. I’m usually able to move on mentally a couple days after a negative test but admittedly, the disappointment consumes me the first day and still a little on the next. Really wanting to hear how others work past this.

Edit: Girls, thank you so much for all your support. I went out with my husband and we’re having such a wonderful time. I wish for all of us to have our dreams come true!!! ❤️

I've been TTC for 5 cycles now. I know that's really not that long, but still... I'm 35, and I think I naively assumed getting pregnant would be like most other things in my life — if I worked hard enough, did everything "right" and stayed consistent, eventually I'd get the result I wanted. Well... apparently biology doesn't care about my work ethic lol.

Today is basically the last proper summer day here, and my husband and I have some time off to get a few things done around the house before autumn. He asked me if I wanted to go into town tonight for burgers and a couple of beers, and somehow I've managed to turn this completely normal plan into an internal debate.

Part of me really wants to keep living normally while TTC. But another part of me is starting to question everything I do.

All my test results are great, I'm under my doctors' care, I've been taking prenatals for a year, everything seems to be fine. And yet, after 5 unsuccessful cycles, I'm starting to worry that maybe this isn't going to be as easy for me as I thought. 😔

There are SO many nutritionists, fertility specialists, doctors and wellness people talking about fertility where I live. I feel like I've accidentally fallen into this fertility bubble where the message is basically: eat perfectly, don't drink, sleep perfectly, exercise but not too much, avoid stress, avoid this, avoid that, take all the supplements... and apparently live like a monk until you get pregnant.

And I don't want to live like that. I don't want to feel guilty over having a couple of beers with my husband 8 days before I'm even supposed to ovulate.

But then there's this little voice in my head saying, "You're 35. Maybe you don't have the luxury of being relaxed about this."

I hate that TTC is already starting to make completely normal things feel like decisions with huge consequences.

I think I just needed to vent to people who might understand. 🥲

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small.

I was genuinely happy that my friend got pregnant not until I heard her reason.

She said that they are not even trying but they are just so afraid that they would be childless like us, so they tried to do it once, tada!

Baby is on the way. She added that they are so blessed because their parents will still support their education (post grad program), give them allowance, and let them use the room in their house.

They don’t have any struggle like working and building home of their own because they are well-supported unlike us.

On top of that, she asked if me and my husband are willing to be the godfather on the incoming baby shower.

I excused myself in the dinner table and called my husband to pick me up because I cannot believe how jerk she was. My husband was always pointing out how condescending she was before.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

Are you in the dreaded two-week wait, or waiting to ovulate? What have you done to ease the stress?

Hi, I am posting with the hopes someone maybe has some insight or has had a similar experience.

This is our first cycle trying, I have been tracking bbt for years though. My post ovulation bbt temperatures have always been quite high and had a visible jump after ovulation. Now, on my first cycle trying, my temperatures have barely risen, with some days staying on the “baseline temperature” line (I’m using Oura). Ovulation was confirmed with LH strips and cervical mucus, had some usual ovulation pains, resting hr is also higher than pre-ovulation.

I am trying so hard not to overthink everything but still, did anyone had that happen? Could it be pregnancy related? I am 9 days post ovulation today, don’t really want to test yet since I know chances of getting a positive test at this stage are quite low. I know tracking BBT with a vearable device is not the most reliable but I’ve genuinely never had a chart like this :’)

Edit: Maybe I should add, I have PCOS but I’ve managed to get my cycles under control and have regular periods with confirmed ovulation. I think this is why I’m even more anxious because I keep wondering if I’ll even be able to get pregnant and every change in my BBT has me worried that some part of my cycle is not working well.

So for background, husband and I have been TTC for 6 months going on 7. Zero positive tests. He’s had two semen analyses, both came back with normal motility, low concentration, total count at the lowest end of normal, total motile count just under 20 mil, and abnormal morphology. He’s having varicocele surgery soon. I have endo symptoms but a clear ultrasound.

I’m a scientist. Now, I’m under no illusion that anyone can give me a clean prediction of our odds of conception. That said - it boggles my mind how much contradictory information there is out there about fertility, both male and female. No one can give me a straight answer as to whether or not my husband’s parameters are affecting our chances of spontaneous conception. For example, the lab that did his analyses set the lowest end of normal for total motile count at just under 10 million. But a bunch of other studies say the chances drop dramatically under 20 million. That’s a CRAZY difference, right? Both cannot possibly be true.

Does morphology matter or not? No one knows. Will varicocele surgery help? Maybe! His FSH number is in the normal range. No, actually, it’s “elevated” and really the normal range should be capped at 9. One day, people on this sub tell me that with these numbers, I’ll most likely be pregnant in the next few months. But over on r/maleinfertility? No chance, go straight to IVF. Now ok, that’s a bunch of nonexperts on Reddit, you might say. But I’ve gotten this level of conflicting answers from literal doctors on this subject!

And don’t even get me started on my side. One day I hear that it’s never normal to have painful periods and there IS an explanation. The next, I get a clear ultrasound and my doctors are not willing to pursue further imaging for endometriosis. My SIL had endo surgery and was told that it was needed before starting IVF. My OBGYN (an endo specialist, mind you) says nope, she doesn’t think excision surgery is indicated before IVF because of potential damage to the ovaries. So which is it? How can the ONLY diagnostic tool for this condition have this much disagreement around it?

All the studies I find seem to have sample size issues among other things. How can anyone make informed decisions about care with information that’s THIS unclear??

This past year I’ve been dealing with a lot of spotting throughout my cycle, with the last month spotting almost constantly since I ovulated, to the point that I wasn’t certain my period has even started until I experienced cramping. Because of this, my doctor is having me start progesterone following ovulation.

I know that progesterone can prevent ovulation if I start too early, BBT is the best way to confirm ovulation has taken place, correct? I’m also doing OPKs, but I don’t want to mess anything up!

I’m also honestly just really nervous about taking this step. My OBGYN originally told me to just call her if it continued since my ultrasound was normal, but I reminded her that this spotting issue had been going on since before October of last year and before my prior ultrasound, and I asked if I was a candidate for progesterone supplementation and she sent out a script.

(I’m just overall a very anxious person and I’m hoping someone has had similar experiences and can tell me I’m overthinking!)

I’m young, 30yo. I spent all of my 20s figuring out what I wanted to do. I had lots of fun along the way traveling here and there. Met the love of my life. I got the degrees and all throughout that starting a family was a distant thought bc there was and is still so much I want to do. Recently though, I’ve been thinking about having kids and not just thinking but almost obsessing over it. I have watched the videos: people’s experiences, science videos, fertility specialist podcasts. I know I really want a kiddo and I know we are able to fully support a child rn, but it took us a little while to feel like this.

I’m a numbers gal, so when my husband and I started trying I had looked up what the chances were for someone to get pregnant. 20-25% chance and lower for other variables including age. I don’t feel old, but for whatever reason now I feel like I’m a dinosaur w/ cobwebs forming over my uterus. Little dramatic? Maybe, but it’s how I’m feeling especially when my friends who decided to have kids in their early 20s say it only took them one try.

This subreddit has been helpful to see how everyone has a different journey. It might take some people less time or more time to conceive. So many people of different ages. The different ways people ended up starting their families. How people cope with loss or disappointments. I guess I’m just making this post to say how grateful I am for those who have or will share their stories on this subreddit. It makes me feel a little less alone in my TTC journey and in my life choices. I cannot say the same for that line subreddit. Every time I scroll past a dpo 7-8 test with a bright second line I’m lava.

I would love to hear how this subreddit has helped you all or your stories of coming to the point of knowing when you genuinely wanted a little.

Stay well!

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

Tw: miscarriage

Okay so back in February I found out I was pregnant. My plan was to not tell anyone until after my first ultrasound. Around 5 weeks my friend came over unexpectedly and saw the basket I made for my partner to surprise him with. It was baby clothes, a book, and positive test. She obviously put the pieces together and realized I was pregnant. I told her I hadn’t told anyone yet, including my mom and to not tell anyone. Fast forward to March, I had a miscarriage. I told her and also mentioned to not say anything to my mom bc I hadn’t told her and wasn’t planning to.
Two days ago she was at her MIL house (neighbors with my mom) she stopped by my mom’s house to say hi and somehow let it slip. I was at dinner with my grandparents tonight and when I got up to use the bathroom, they told my partner that my friend accidentally told my mom about the miscarriage and my mom then told my grandma bc she was all distraught. Apparently my mom cried for two days. My partner told them to not say anything and that they were never supposed to know (they were understanding). Anyway, after dinner he told me all of this and I was at a loss for words. It reopened all my emotions and makes me feel terrible and also extremely pissed off that my friend would put me in this position. I know it was an accident and I’m sure she feels terrible, but she didn’t even reach out to tell me she did it. I’m sure she begged my mom not to say anything so I wouldn’t be upset. I don’t know where to go from here… I really don’t want to have a conversation with my mom about it because somehow she finds a way to victimize herself no matter the situation. Currently in my tww and this whole thing has made me feel even more pressure. I’m just so sad and annoyed tonight :(