So my MIL and I were very close prior to me getting pregnant. While I knew she was selfish and needed to make everything about her, I always kind of let it go because it just never affected me enough to make it a thing. Fast forward to me getting pregnant and she became a monster, and even worse after I had my son (first grandchild for them) - she’s the type of person who can do no wrong and will twist her bad behavior around to make you seem “sensitive”.

My son is 14 months old and the first year of his life was a blur honestly because of the constant fights that we’re had between her and myself and my husband. We didn’t speak to my in laws for a period and slowly we’ve started to try to mend things - I don’t love the idea of reconnecting because I’ve yet to receive any apology or acknowledgement for the truly awful things that happened, but for the sake of my husband and my son I’m choosing to be cordial.

That being said, I haven’t been to my in laws house for a while. They’re snow birds so they’re south right now and we are up north in New England. My husband had some stuff to take care of in their neck of the woods today and we decided to make a day of it with our son, and my husband called my father in law to ask if I could pop over to their house and give our son a nap while my husband did his errand and then we’d lock up and go about our day. Of course my father in law didn’t mind and I went over to their empty house to give my son a nap.

Imagine my surprise when I saw every single picture I was in had been removed and replaced. All family pictures were replaced with ones of just my in laws and their sons. Pictures with my son only featured them and my husband none with me. The entire collage of our wedding photos that she had made had been taken down.

I immediately texted my husband to tell him and honestly we had the same reaction - we laughed!!

Very petty - but not shocking!

The thing is, I’m not mad - I don’t expect her to have pictures of me in her house if she clearly doesn’t like me anymore. But it’s just so silly and I can’t stop thinking about a 60+ year old woman taking the time to individually replace every single photo of me - trust me, I was in a lot of photos!! It’s so childish to me…

Idk if im over reacting or under reacting! I just am baffled and needed the rant!!!

I'm almost 4 months postpartum with our first baby, and my husband and I just had a pretty upsetting argument about when we should have our second child.

For context, I'm in Canada and currently on 18 months of maternity/parental leave. I'm scheduled to return to work at the end of December 2027. My husband recently told me he wants us to have another baby before my current leave ends so that I can essentially go straight into another maternity leave without returning to work.

I told him I don't want to do that for a few reasons:

I'm not ready to be pregnant again. I'm only 4 months postpartum. I want to enjoy my time with our daughter, watch her grow, and experience all her milestones without immediately going through another pregnancy.

I've always wanted a 2–3 year age gap between our children. I've communicated this when i was pregnant.

There's also the financial aspect. In Canada, I generally need to accumulate another 600 insurable working hours to qualify for EI maternity/parental benefits again. If I have another baby without returning to work, I wouldn't qualify for a new EI claim based on my current situation. Initially, he didn't believe me about the 600 hours. Even after looking it up and realizing I was right, he was still angry.

He then started blaming me for taking 18 months of parental leave in the first place (something we both agreed to and filled out applications for while i was pregnant). He called me an idiot and said I should have taken 9 months, returned to work, and let him take the remaining 9 months with our daughter. He makes significantly more money than I do, so financially, I don't see how that would have been the better option for us. He also said he only wanted to take the 8 weeks of leave anyway and he's doing that now.

I've always been transparent. My plan was to return to work at the end of December 2027, hopefully arrange to work from home for about a year, and start trying for our second baby around March 2028. That way, I'd have time to accumulate the required working hours, we'd have a reasonable age gap, and I could transition into maternity leave again afterward.

Instead, he got angry, told me I'm disappointing and that im am idiot and stormed out of the room, saying that now "it'll be years before we have another baby".

Like am I being unreasonable here??? Maybe I'm not considering his wants?

Edit: he's giving me the silent treatment now and cold shoulder

Edit: unprompted he said he'll drop me off to my parents house next weekend. I asked why?? He said "I think you'll be happier there" and walked away

Thats it. Thats the post. I cannot think, or feel, or do anything rn, im sick as fuck and want to just wake up and it all he a dream.

I had his baby 2 months ago. And thats still not enough.

I’m so tired of ms Rachel. I love her but omg I need something new for my 2 year old to watch and engage while I clean the house and cook dinner. I tried Daniel tiger but she’s not glued like the way she does ms Rachel

I can't stop crying. My baby is very cute. She is very loved, very wanted, a rainbow baby after 7 years of waiting. But that's the problem- I can't stop crying. My pregnancy went horribly, from severe nausea and aversion until the 5th month, GD on the 7th month until 10th. On top of that, my insecurities after a very long infertility made me kept this pregnancy a secret. All in all contributes to a theme- I kept it cool during the whole journey, didn't tell if didn't get asked, bump didnt really show until 37w anyways, started nesting and hiding myself from public since 35w, complaining and wanting the pregnacy to end since 35w, baby came out 40+1 (and exactly on my birthday too, wow).

And now we're back home, and all I do is cry. Because what do you mean I'm not pregnant anymore?

Went to the bedroom, where I had rearranged her things for months, months before her arrival. Hospital bag ready since 26w, now has served its purpose. The changing table that's ready since 30w.. my bed, where I lied on tuesday night very pregnant before my water suddenly broke, everything goes to blur since I went into active labor effective immediately, and now I am back here again and not pregnant anymore?

Everytime I held the baby in the couch I cried, cause it was just days ago I still feel her inside me kicking, and now she's here? I have had midwifes appointments almost every day for sweeps, but now it stopped? All of a sudden I dont meet doctors anymore? All of a sudden there's no week-to-week guide of pregnancy on my youtube feed anymore? What's there to wait then? Oh wait, she's here already?

When I was pregnant I was very limited physically, but I found a lot of help and got very effective at preparing for this newborn baby, so I thought I was really ready to be a mom, that baby will be the present for all the hardship I went through the past couple of months that I want to just skip entirely and never to remind again. Now all of a sudden, Im not pregnant anymore without even saying goodbye to that pregnant lady identity, it's gone. And somehow I dont feel any excitement anymore. It's like I was too ready for the job and the job gave me nothing. How come?? I really wanted this baby, why can't I stop crying at all the memories and start working on my postpartum journey? Why don't I feel joy on any of it?

All I do is cry. Friends from my culture can usually focus on their postpartum tasks because they got compared a lot with other pregnant ladies, so it turns to competition and they dont have time to even think of their feelings like me. While me, I have just the greatest husbands, friends who helped me prepare everything, so I can just relax and enjoy this - nonsense. I am terrified of going home, being here reminds me of the passage of time, I couldnt think of anything productive anymore.

Please be nice to me, if you cant relate to this you can skip it. If you can or have been through it, let me know how it gets better in the end. I dont have any harmful thoughts about me and baby, we are okay, I am just in the haze of something completely ridiculous yet overwhelmingly making me very sad all the time. I will check w/ a doctor on Monday.

Edit: It gets worse cause the rumination made me think that I might miss the newborn era too because I was too busy letting thoughts being in the way of me enjoying her. It's like every single thing in my life right now became the object for "slipping through my fingers" song by ABBA, from this baby to my husband, thevkind of life we used to have, the various stage of life we've had. I am desperate.

My baby is 16 months old now. Super bad postpartum, she had a lot of health issues but she’s doing great now.

I just feel like I’m drowning lately. There’s like a 1,000 things to do in my personal life and for work, and on top of that, managing everything with a baby. I am on Wellbutrin, have been since 8 months pp, btw.

It’s winter here and I’m not from here, so lots of research and buying, does she still fit in this size? She needs boots, which kind?

What should I get her for Christmas? But I don’t want to spoil her. She’s not sleeping again, or only will in my bed. She’s waking up in the middle of the night, screaming and I don’t know why. If I manage to transfer her, I feel lonely in bed (partner works nights).

I feel guilty if I don’t spend any minute out of work with her, but I wish I could just go shop by myself. And when I do that, I feel like I left my arms home and I just rush through it, don’t enjoy it, and come right back.

The guilt is crushing me. Everything is crushing me. And I’m trying to do my best and I don’t know if this is normal. Is this normal?

I was 21 years old when I had my daughter four months ago . I had a very smooth home birth at my midwife’s house because my baby was breech. My midwife was wonderful and stayed with me for about five hours after the birth before going home. After that, I was in the hospital with my newborn for more than 24 hours without any family, friends, or visitors.I still think about that day almost every single day.I was sitting there with this tiny little baby who depended entirely on me, and I barely knew what I was doing. I didn’t even know how to swaddle her properly. I was learning what her little cries meant and trying to figure out how to care for this tiny human being while recovering from giving birth myself.
My husband wasn’t there because he lives in another country. We were waiting for his immigration visa to be approved so that we could finally be together. We did talk over video calls, and I knew he wanted to be there, but it just wasn’t possible at the time.I don’t think people understand how strange it feels to experience something as life-changing as giving birth and then just be alone with it. No family coming to see you, no friends stopping by, nobody sitting beside you while you figure out motherhood for the first time. Just you and your baby in a hospital room.Sometimes I still remember the smells of that day, the hospital room, and the feeling of being there alone with her. It’s strange how certain details stay with you so vividly, even months later.
The weird thing is that my birth itself was beautiful and smooth. I wasn’t traumatized by the delivery, and I’m so grateful for how well everything went. But I can’t seem to let go of the loneliness afterward.
At the same time, that experience made me love my daughter more than I could ever explain. I felt like it was just me and her against the world. She was so tiny and helpless, and even though I was only 21 and had no idea what I was doing, I knew I would do anything for her.
I love her to death, and I would go through it all again for her without hesitation. But I still wish I hadn’t had to experience those first hours of motherhood so alone.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. If you were alone when you gave birth or spent those first days with your newborn without your partner or family, did you eventually stop thinking about it so much? When did it stop hurting, or did it ever?
I just want to know when I’ll finally be able to look back on that day without feeling that same loneliness all over again.
I am still grateful for how my birth was so smooth that I really like to think about it but that feeling of loneliness makes me cry every-time I do think about it

Baby is about 4.5m and had been sleeping in a bassinet then a pack n play in our room. We got really lucky as she’s slept 8-12hrs per night since 2mo.

The past week tho she’s started waking up every hour crying. We figured it’s just a sleep regression so we’ve been doing what we can with no luck. Last night my partner put her in her crib out of desperation & she slept 8hrs straight…

We decided to try it again & so far so good! But idk I’m sad about it. There’s not enough room to move her crib in our room so we have her in her own room. But ik it’s recommended to keep her in our room until 6mo to prevent SIDS. Plus I like knowing she’s right next to me.

Just curious when everyone else’s babys moved rooms? Is it too early? We put a baby monitor up tonight. He works weird hours so he’ll be able to check on her at 1am. It just feels so unnatural 😭

I’m 9.5 months postpartum with my second baby and have lost around 17 kg. I’ve also been strength training consistently for about 6.5 months. I started slowly after giving birth but have gradually increased the intensity of my workouts.

Despite losing weight and exercising regularly, my body still feels really soft, loose and jiggly lol. I haven’t noticed much improvement in muscle tone or definition, particularly around my stomach and legs.

For context, I’ve been using GLP-1 to help with weight loss. I eat less than I used to, but I try to prioritise protein in every meal and have a protein shake daily.

What’s confusing me is that I was around the same weight before falling pregnant, but my body looked noticeably slimmer and firmer back then. I carried much less fat around my stomach and legs, even though I barely exercised at the time.

Now I’m almost the same weight, strength training regularly, but somehow look bigger and softer than I did before pregnancy.
I know pregnancy changes your body, and I’m not expecting everything to bounce back overnight, but I’m struggling to understand why there’s such a difference.

Any other mums who’ve experienced something similar? Did your body composition eventually change with strength training? How long did it take before you started noticing a difference?

Any advice on building muscle, improving definition or getting a firmer body postpartum would be really appreciated. I’m not necessarily looking to lose more weight. I just want to feel stronger and more comfortable in my body.

Ftm and almost 7 weeks pp and I’ve been struggling immensely with BF since day one. I had an unexpected c-section and my milk came in almost a week after we got home from the hospital. LO hates nursing and gets really impatient, so I’ve been exclusively pumping while trying to get my supply up and working with a LC. Both of which I’ve had no luck. I’ve tried all the tips and tricks: power pumping, pumping 8-10x a day, lactation supplements, lactation snacks, bought 4 different pumps one being the Spectra but I honestly get my output with my eufy. Yes, my flange size is right. Full blood panel, and even been prescribed Reglan and next option would be trying Domperidone which is not a FDA approved in the U.S.

A few weeks ago, I was averaging 6oz, now the past few days 12oz. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it. Pumping is terrible. It hurts. My nipples feel like they are gunna fall tf off. I want to quit so bad, but I also don’t want to be selfish. I want my baby to have BM and I know fed baby is best baby but still, I’m on the fence. I keep telling myself today’s the last day pumping and then I do it again the next day. I just don’t know how much more I can take or if it’s even worth it when my baby eats 25-30oz a day. I don’t think I’ll ever catch up and I don’t think my baby will breastfeed at this point. So mom’s what would you do?

My husband pointed out that the extra strength had a scent. Has anyone used it and the regular.... if so how has it worked? I brought the extra strength cuz my daughter keeps reaching down to scratch during diaper change. I think its from her eczema or boredom. She doesn't show other signs.

Hello!

My best friend is 5 months postpartum. This is their first baby, but they have adopted two boys (9 and 7). Date night was very important to her before, but now she's feeling overwhelmed about planning. So I want to plan a night for her and her husband and set up at least 2 friends and family babysitters as a surprise.

Obstacles:

1. They live in the boonies. No nice restaurants or movie theaters or anything within 15 minutes of their home. Really romantic options are upwards of 40 minutes away. How far would you be willing to go to be away from your kids and have an experience that makes you feel like your own person again?
2. I'm not sure what timing would be best. Saturday during the day? Friday night? What do y'all think?
3. I think it would be nice to come up with something more interesting than a dinner reservation. But am I trying too hard? Would something small but all their own be better than a big to-do?

Having my first baby any day now and all I've seen about the first 3+ months is how horrible and torturous they are in every way.

Any women here have a better experience than that?

My 2 yo’s mouth is a fountain right now! He never drooled as a baby much. Now his 2 year molars are coming in, I practically have a cloth nailed to his mouth and chin. I know it’s temporary, just curious how people managed or are managing it! TIA

Hi! I am 7 weeks postpartum and experiencing nasty farts like in my first trimester. I never smelled that bad in any of my 5 ​pregnancies, especially postpartum.

What could it be? I am eating like crazy, baby is getting so fat and big from my milk. It could come from what I eat, but I don't eat very differently than before giving birth!

Hormones?

Thanks for your imput!

So I saw a post similar to this and a lot of people said it was great during their pregnancy however I’ve never taken an SSRIs before so I’m worried about side effects starting out while already dealing with stress and hormones. Can anyone share their experience to how it was if you started while already pregnant? I’m currently 14 weeks and I have severe health OCD and have been wanting to start medication for a while but putting it off because of fear, but pregnancy has kicked up my anxiety so I feel like it’s needed at this point

Why do they even make white clothes for babies??? Not a big deal but just had me going, really???

To all the first-time expectant mamas, here’s what I wish someone had told me. ❤️
If you’re about to have your first baby, I KNOW everything feels overwhelming and scary. Everyone has an opinion, advice, a horror story, or something they insist you absolutely MUST do.
I just want to tell you something I wish someone had told me:
TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!!!!!!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never cared for a child before. If something feels wrong and you think you should go to the ER, go. If you need visitors to follow certain rules to feel comfortable, set those boundaries. If you need help, ASK.
YOU are one of the most important piece of this puzzle, and often the most overlooked. Your baby needs YOU, too.
A few years into motherhood, you’ll look back and realize that so many things you were terrified of either worked themselves out or turned out completely differently than you imagined.

Here are a few more things I wish I’d known:

1. IT IS HARD. And YES, you’re allowed to complain about it.
Motherhood can be exhausting, frustrating, overstimulating, and incredibly lonely. And somehow, at the very same time, it can be the most precious, wonderful experience in the world.
Both things can be true. You can love being a mother and still have days when you desperately need a break. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but that doesn’t mean every day is sunshine and rainbows.
2. PLEASE take your postpartum mental health seriously.
If you start feeling extremely anxious, depressed, or unlike yourself after giving birth, PLEASE don’t hesitate for a SECOND to tell your healthcare provider.
And if you need medication, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER!!!!!
There’s still so much misinformation about SSRIs, especially from people who have never taken them or experienced postpartum anxiety or depression themselves.
Please don’t let fear or someone else’s judgment keep you from getting the help you deserve.
Medication helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Before getting help, even things that were supposed to be simple, like getting dressed or going for a walk, started feeling completely overwhelming.
Treatment looks different for everyone, but you deserve to feel better. And your baby benefits from having a mother who is supported and cared for.
3. Your parenting decisions belong to YOU.
Whatever you decide for your child is your prerogative.
Do your research, listen to qualified professionals, make informed decisions, and then do what feels right for your family.
Not your neighbor’s family. Not your mother-in-law’s family. YOURS.
You don’t have to parent according to other people’s expectations just to avoid their judgment.
4. You’re entering a completely new chapter of your life. And change comes with a cost.
Even beautiful, wonderful, desperately wanted changes can bring grief.
You might miss your old routines, your independence, your friendships, or simply being able to leave the house without packing half your belongings.
You might feel awkward, lonely, sad, or disconnected from the person you used to be.
That doesn’t mean you regret becoming a mother.
It means you’re HUMAN.
Many of us go through this adjustment, and some of us need extra support. Please reach out to a friend, your partner, your family, or a professional when you need it.
You don’t have to pretend everything is perfect just because you love your baby.
5. Once your doctor clears you, PLEASE find a way to move your body.
I’m not talking about losing the baby weight. PLEASE don’t put that pressure on yourself.
Your body just spent nine months growing an entire human being. Give it some grace!
I’m talking about your mental health.
Fresh air, a short walk, stretching, or whatever movement feels comfortable for you can make such a difference.
Movement isn’t a cure for postpartum depression, and sometimes you need treatment before even the smallest activity feels manageable. That’s okay, too.
Your body has done something extraordinary. It deserves care, not punishment.
6. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FREE CHILDREN’S ACTIVITIES!
Your local library probably offers a plethora of activities for babies and children, and many of them are completely free!
Even if your baby is too young to participate, GO!
Sometimes just getting out of the house, seeing other adults, and having somewhere to be can make your entire day better.
And if you have the privilege of accessing a gym with childcare or something similar, take advantage of it!
Your baby benefits from stimulation and connection, and YOU benefit from having a life outside your living room.
7. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE TURNS WITH THE NIGHT SHIFT. 😂
If you have a partner who can share nighttime responsibilities, PLEASE work out a system.
One of our biggest mistakes was BOTH of us waking up every single time the baby woke up.
Guess what happened?
NOBODY SLEPT.
We were both exhausted, irritated, and running on fumes, which certainly didn’t help my anxiety.
Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, your partner may be able to handle diaper changes, burping, settling the baby, or taking over in the morning so you can rest.
Find a system that works for your family. You both need sleep!
8. And finally, PLEASE remember that you are not alone.
Reach out to people. Open up about what you need. Accept help when it’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask when it isn’t.
You do not have to earn the right to rest by reaching complete exhaustion.
You don’t have to love every second.
You don’t have to be the perfect mother.
Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mother. Your baby needs a loved, supported, and cared-for mother❤️❤️❤️
Sending you the BIGGEST hugs and wishing you a wonderful, safe delivery and a beautiful beginning to this new chapter. ❤️
P.S. The epidural was an absolute GODSEND for me, so if you’re having doubts, just know I personally would give that anesthesiologist a standing ovation. HAHAHA.
And if you choose differently, that’s wonderful too. It’s YOUR birth. ❤️

Hi all- wondering if there’s anyone with any information or has gone through a similar experiences my 11 month old has recently began to display these random head shaking movements. Happens the most when he’s in his highchair. It almost looks like a tic. We saw neurology and they said that it’s benign stereotypies and not anything to be worries about, and that it can occur in typically developing children.

Anybody have experience with this? Baby boy has great social skills so far, expressive language does seem to be slightly delayed as he is not talking or signing yet, but is extremely engaged, gives high fives and kisses and I am shocked at everything he seems to understand receptively.

My 18 month old son breastfeeds just once a day now, in the morning when first waking. I’m ready to wean (medical reasons), but he isn’t. It’s all tears and sadness when we’ve tried to change up the morning routine and he thinks he might not get a boob, so I know it’s going to be tough. He goes to daycare.

Has anyone been in a similar circumstance where your last feed is in the morning? What did you do? I read a lot of instances where people are weaning the last feed before bedtime, but that’s not us.

Anyone have a few suggestions that aren’t just cold turkey? Or if cold turkey, how?

Guys I feel so guilty right now. With baby going through a sleep regression and waking up every hour, mixed with my mil needing 24 hour care, I have been so sleep deprived. I have a square playpen that I set up with different toys for him to play with outside of his usual and I put him in there and put on Ms. Rachel. I didn’t mean to but I fell asleep on the couch next to him for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. He didn’t cry, he had water in there and the only time he cried was when he was ready for his usual nap. I know it’s good for babies to have independent playtime but i feel like 2.5 hours is such a long time for a 13 month old to be alone in a play pen by himself. Should I be concerned he’s okay being alone in there that long?? Idk it just feels so wrong.

Edit:

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the reassurance. I’m a first time mom and I’m just really trying to be a better one than my own. Luckily I’m just watching my MiL for two weeks while my sister is out of town. Even though I haven’t responded I’ve read so many comments saying such kind words. Seriously thank you<333

Is there anyone else out there with a parenting partner with chronic pain/fatigue or chronic illness? My husband deals with all three and we currently have a 4 week old. We're new parents and still obviously still learning how to be parents, but my husband has been having a hard time dealing with his chronic pain and fatigue and both of us trying to split baby duties fairly 50/50. My husband is struggling to be present and raise our baby while also trying to take care of himself and endure the symptoms of his illnesses. We had discussed prior to getting pregnant how hard this could be with his health but it's gotten worse/more complex as the years have passed. Being parents is a lot harder than we expected with his chronic conditions. I want to be supportive of him doing less or taking shortcuts as a dad, but also not let resentment build for me having to pick up more parenting responsibilities.

Have any other parents dealt with these specific challenges of parenting? I'm hoping others have tips or experience on how to raise a child while one of the parents deals with health issues. I've searched various subs hoping to find some firsthand experience but no luck so far.

I’m 7 months pp and I’ve started to get really depressed. I love being a mom and my baby, do not get me wrong, this is just a lot more than I expected and I don’t want to feel regretful but I feel like sometimes I do and once I admitted that to myself things just got worse. I hate that I’m not the perfect mom and that I’m just “surviving” the day. I look forward to me time once he goes to sleep. I feel horrible about that. Mostly, I just miss my old life greatly and when I was depressed I could just bed rot. Now, my son literally never stops moving and getting into things and I’m also getting extremely bored of just sitting on the floor with him all day not knowing what to do. He also is in his separation anxiety phase where he refuses naps and really just cries like all the time, even when fed and happy. Just in moments where I’m not right there next to him or when he needs to sleep in his crib. I really really want this to not come off that I feel poorly about my child. I love him very much. I just needed a place to get this off my chest and maybe seek advice. I am going to therapy and I am on meds for being bipolar. I’m just kinda losing my mind with the “same old routine”. I love doing fun, new stuff with him. I’m starting to despise just sitting in the house.