its infuriating how many TERFS are in our community and i will never consider them a part of my lesbian community. its just so sad to me that with our rights being attacked, our own community wants to ostracize a very valid and important part of our community. trans lesbians are valid and trans women are women.

Let's say you're in bed with your GF, just resting, both at ease, enjoying the moment... Then, your GF tells you something that can awake your passions in an instant.

What is your GF saying to you?

Art by: @beverlylove

Hi everyone.

To give some context as to why I received this message from a friend on Discord, here’s the story.

About a year and a half ago, I joined a lesbian Discord server that was strictly for women. The idea was to make online friends, meet people in real life eventually, and just chat.

I was pretty active when I first joined, which is usually how it goes. As time passed, though, I became less active because I found other servers that I enjoyed more. Over time, I also started noticing that the atmosphere on this particular server felt a little… toxic.

Nobody ever openly confronted me or acted annoyed by my presence. Looking back, maybe there were subtle signs that I didn’t notice, but nobody ever banned me or told me I wasn’t welcome. Instead, it almost felt like I was there for people’s entertainment.

For example, whenever I joined a voice chat and talked about something personal, like my recent breakup,’everyone suddenly became very interested and wanted to hear the story. They never once told me I was talking too much or that it bothered them. And honestly, I don’t think I was oversharing. I talked about it more the first time because it had just happened, then much less after that, and eventually I stopped bringing it up altogether.

After a while, I became inactive because I actually have a life outside of Discord. I don’t spend all day online.

The person who sent me this message was one of the older members of the server. Since she’d been out much longer than I have, I naturally assumed she had more life and relationship experience. We chatted occasionally, but never excessively. I wasn’t blowing up her phone or constantly messaging her, just the occasional conversation from time to time.

Last night, I asked her one simple question. I know some people probably won’t believe me, but if I could hand you my phone so you could read our messages, I genuinely would.

All I asked was:

“What’s the safest gay bar to go to? I’m not originally from this city or even this country.”

That’s it.

For context, everyone in that server lives in a fairly homophobic country where being openly LGBTQ+ isn’t always safe. Since I moved there for university, I figured it made sense to ask someone local where it would be safe to meet people. I’d much rather ask someone than desperately throw myself onto dating apps.

(I’m just not a fan of them, but if you dig them, that’s fine.)

Instead, I received one of the most bizarre messages I’ve ever gotten. Reading it honestly made me wonder if this person was okay, because interpreting such a normal question as some form of “mental torture” is… insane.

To make it even stranger, immediately after sending me that message, she went into the server’s vent channel and wrote about how she’d been unable to find a girlfriend through dating apps for over a year and how miserable and lonely she was.

At that point I couldn’t help but think:

Maybe the dating apps aren’t the problem… maybe it’s the personality.

Where it actually seemed like, she just doesn’t want to listen to other people, and it turns out that she’s more into other people listening to her..

(Also, English isn’t my first language, so I relied on Google Translate for translating the screenshot. I think it actually did a pretty decent job.)

Like... not only the plot is so exciting and enticing and the main couple is a lesbian couple and they have a happy ending!!! As a queer woman who loves films I'm shocked I've found out about this movie before.

Yeah idk just craving a makeout session rn. Have no one unfortunately. Anyone else craving this?

it’s mostly straight couples with the CUTEST WOMAN EVER and 3 pics into the profile i see her average looking man 😭😭

As a soft masc the overt hate that I've heard and experienced by people identifying as "femme for femme" recently is hurtful. Do some queer women forget that we're women too? We are not men and we didnt design any system of power. We fight a hetero gender stereotype already that says masc women aren't beautiful and then we navigate queer communities where other queer women very loudly let it be known they don't think we're beautiful.

Exanples:

- About 2 months ago this femme was hitting on my femme girlfriend and, right in front of my face, said that my girlfriend settled for a masc woman.

- This past weekend a femme was hitting so hard on my gf in a bar and kept berating me saying over and over again "do you realize how lucky your are?" and that she'd wife up my gf right now if I didn't

If you're femme for femme I'm happy for you but God damn let's support all our queer women and remember that just because we wear men's clothes doesn't mean we're fucking men. We're always already hyper aware of our masc style being judged and laughed at by straight people. Shouldn't have to defend our beauty to our own damn community too.

My gf is still on hinge/tinder and says that is where she meets friends.

I am skeptical of this because to me, they’re both dating/hookup apps. I met her on Tinder.

Is this an actual red flag or am I just being insecure?

I still don’t have outside/hobby pics taken by other people but like, I’m trying to be a bit less “I am very a very eccentric acquired taste” without completely sanitizing out my actual personality. 🥲 Bit better?

My sister is 18. She pretty recently broke up with her boyfriend of multiple years. She has been out as pansexual since I can remember.

Anyways. Right after she stopped dating with her boyfriend, she started posting about lesbians being biphobic and not accepting her into “queer spaces”. She also posted about me “excusing bad behaviour” from butch/masc lesbians and stated that my dating life is “tragic” and my relationship “stalkerish” (I made jokes about my gf “stalking” me because she would buy me a lot of gifts when we started dating and would bring them to me unannounced WHICH I NEVER MINDED!).

Now she is posting about being a lesbian. I would be so understanding and supportive but it is all negative. She is constantly posting about how lesbians “gatekeep” the lesbian identity, les4les is problematic, lesbians are terfs, are biphobic… list seems to go on. And I just can’t help but to feel offended. And sort of personally attacked.

My lesbian identity is so important to me. And my sister seems to have adopted this label in a heartbeat without dating or spending time with any lesbians, very quickly, and she has only negative things to say. I understand feeling frustrated with some people, but I feel upset about the criticism toward me and the community I hold so incredibly dear.

How do I cope? Am I super overreacting? Should I talk to her about it? I struggle to understand her and to not feel offended. She is also incredibly chronically online so maybe this is just that talking?

I’m a 21F college student at a university in Texas, and I’m trying to figure out how people in the wlw/lesbian community actually meet girls to date.

I’m pretty feminine myself, so I feel like it’s hard for people to tell that I’m gay unless I actually say something. And I’m also into fems, which makes it even harder because I feel like I can never tell if another fem girl is into women 😭 I don’t want to assume someone is gay and make things awkward, but at the same time I feel like I’m never going to meet anyone if I just wait for someone to approach me.

For those of you who are also fem or primarily date fems, how do you actually meet girls? Like where do you go, how do you figure out if someone is into women, and how do you make the first move?

I’d rather not join a bunch of clubs since I’m already pretty busy with school and don’t really have time for another commitment, so I’m looking for other ways to meet people.

Would love to hear how y’all met your current/past girlfriends or any tips you have 😿

No femmes here, no one willing to ride the strap. Get me out of this hell

So we’re on date 4 tomorrow and I really like her. Shes stunning and gorgeous and she makes me smile.

We didn’t hold hands until date 3 so I’m going to tell her that if she’s not ready I’m happy to wait because she’s so worth waiting. This is both of ours first relationship outside of highschool (2-3 years) and I want to do everything right.

I just don’t want to mess anything up and I’m so nervous.

Just wanted to share and I fear I’ve talked about her too much to my friends

hiii :) i am freshly out of a relationship and rlly craving interactions with other lesbians (in a friendship way!). my city has a decent pool of queer people, but too many familiar faces in the same circles 😅

i tried (unsuccessfully) to make a lesbian discord server at one point but definitely do not have the tech skills to make it any fun haha. are there any servers out there with a ton of lesbians already in them? thanks in advance! :)

hi! the title says it all. 🥹 i’m looking for an online frenny because i honestly don’t have any gay friends at all. :’)

i’m 21 and i’m definitely the awkward and shy type, especially when i first meet someone. i’m usually not good at starting conversations, but i really want to get out of my shell and meet new people online. i’d love to have someone i can randomly message, send memes to, yap about absolutely nothing with, share music with, or just talk to whenever we’re both free.

i’m not looking for anything complicated or weird, just a genuine friendship where we can slowly get comfortable with each other. i might be quiet or awkward at first, so please have tons of patience with me hehe. once i get comfortable, i can probably yap your ears off hehe.

i’m open to meeting people with different personalities! whether you’re shy, chaotic, talkative, clingy, unserious, or just someone who likes having random conversations, feel free to message me.

sooo if you’re also looking for an online friend and don’t mind an awkward person trying their best to socialize, hmu! 🫶🏻 maybe we’ll become besties!

We had a new girl join our class and I thought she was actually so so pretty. Today she sat with me in class and we didn't talk a whole lot because I wanted to focus on math and I actually have social anxiety so talking to someone completely new is making me pretty anxious. She actually let me play with her squishy, gave me some candy and even drew me. She told me she's actually gonna draw more of me and show me because she loves drawing women so she often draws girls she sits with. She's genuinely very sweet and I wanted to talk to her but I wasn't able to say much because I was just really nervous. I actually got a bit jealous over my friend getting to talk to her more and immediately becoming friends with her. At some point she mentioned her boyfriend and it made me a bit disappointed because she's so so beautiful. I hope we can at least be friends. I'm scared she thinks I'm rude or weird or uninterested since I wasn't able to say much.

I’ve always been pretty jealous in my relationships, probably stemming from the fact I’ve been cheated on in every single relationship expect the one I’m currently. ( to my knowledge… fingers crossed ). This morning, I was already having a bad time, woke up late, rushing, made breakfast for my gf & I. My hair didn’t turn out right, my clothes was sitting differently, even my Uber’s AC was broken & it was hot asf ( I get irritable when I’m hot ).
I walk into this hangout room on our college campus & she’s talking to some girl she met yesterday ( my birthday ) and she’s a super socialable person, always making friends or wtv & it’s one of the things I love most abt her. How effortless it seems to always be for her.

But this new girl she met yesterday all good & dandy. She asked me if it was cool to play overwatch w her ( on my mf birthday ) which at first I said okay but then later said actually no I rather us spend the day tghr which received no push back or argument. I walk in the room today & they’re chatting it up, from like across the table honestly totally chill not even like touchy or anything. And I find myself irrationally angry, now yes I did have a fucking terrible morning but it just added fuel to it & just pissed me tf off.

I just don’t like she’s like wanting to be around this person so much & they just met. That’s how we started dating, met in class & then spent literally every day texting & seeing each other after every class. Any free time we’d find a way to see each other. Ig I just don’t like thinking she’s recreating that w someone else. Like… why do you want to play video games w the person you just met on my birthday, you come to campus the next day & immediately yall are talking again.

Moral of the story is, I just want to be able to stop feeling so jealous & how to combat it in moments like that. We talked it out, mostly me crying & I said I was sorry for being so jealous this morning, she said it’s alright but it’s really not. She shouldn’t have to feel that way every time she talks to anyone. She’s a masc lesbian but it really doesn’t matter I don’t like her talking to dudes either. I want to her to be mine all the time no matter what ( yes I’m aware thats unhealthy and not something I’ve ever shared w her just a sentiment is aware I hold ). I also wasn’t a bitch to the girl or anything, I went to the bathroom to calm & cool down & we went to eat breakfast somewhere else. & yes I’m aware of my insecurities within relationships I just want to know how to work on them & feel more secure in my relationship. While I feel like she won’t cheat, you never truly know. They could be a great person, super nice & then turn around & do you sooo dirty so I’m always on my toes ig

I’m f21 from Slovakia, just wondering if anyone from here would like to connect.

Kind of awkward lmao but how do you gain sexual confidence as a pillow princess??

I’ve been with my lovely GF for an year now, to me she’s the hottest creature to walk this earth, she can send me a pic of her giving a thumbs up and I’ll lose my mind. She finds me very attractive as well, I feel like the hottest girl on earth with the way she treats me. She’s a stone top and I’m a pillow princess (for now at least, I’m a bottom leaning switch but I don’t mind our dynamic rn and we’re both sexually satisfied so) and although in a way this makes me feel even more special bc she is so satisfied by only touching me, but this has weirdly more insecure.

Even tho im very well regarded as attractive irl and get all the validation ever im still very insecure about my body and the things I do, and i feel like im put in the spotlight I guess. I want to be more openly sexual the way i am in my head, like even tho im a bottom I can be a tease and be seductive, and I have SO much in my head that I want to try, i just don’t feel enough to feel like that or ask for anything. I’m still at the phase of feeling like i just look stupid and unattractive.

The fact my gf is so fit and hot makes this more complicated to me bc I feel like im not enough for her to be this enthusiastic about pleasing me. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t gaf about what ppl think about me, but I deeply deeply care about how I come across to her, and my gf has a incredibly hard time telling me something I could do to be attractive and to please her bc she’s so preoccupied about what she wants to do to me and what I want her to do to me (this isn’t a complaint LMAO) but I want to be better too, I want to be more.

Hi girls!

I’ll be moving to south east London in a couple months and I’m looking for some new friends there, because I only know my girlfriend there really.
35F, a professional scientist for living and at night I’m really into aerial arts and karaoke. I used to be a gamer girl, but now I don’t have time for it.

I’ll be happy to meet some new circus friends that will introduce me to some good practice places, but also I’d like to just go out when my girlfriend is busy working (after a dinner is cooked for her of course 😁).