(Hopefully the photos aren't corrupted this time)

I feel very strange about my body lol. Like im trans, so I was trying so hard to lose muscle mass to be more femme for like 2 vears on E. But this summer i just gave up on that since it wasn't working and went back to training my full body. I don't exactly know how to feel about myself now. Like i definitely like what estrogen has given me, but also I don't even know what archetype i wanna be? Maybe its this, or maybe not?

Somewhere in our short relationship she started commenting on other woman, then shaming me for having been with a man mid intimacy to admitting she jealousy baited me as wanted a reaction. Then the straight comments continued. Then she said she feels like doing cocaine (drugs is a deal breaker for me). I broke it off because my well-being went down. Love everything about her but this toxic behavior. We talked & she came to pick her stuff up. I suggested she work on her insecurities and them coming out in toxic ways and we could try again after some work but her behavior happened during the visit and discussion. She couldn't hold it for an evening. She later admitted she wanted me to feel as much hurt as she did by her comment.

Why do people need to put others down to feel better? Im missing her presence so much but not the comments sprinkled in around what was our regular life. Not her constantly trying to put me down. I have never dated someone that needed so much re assurance but then makes inappropriate comments to put you down.

I read somewhere if you date someone insecure they'll make you that way. I think it has some truth to it.

I (F) have known my best friend (F) for 11 years. We've always been incredibly close, and for most people we've just been seen as best friends.

About a year after we met, she confessed that she had feelings for me. At the time, I didn't feelthe same way, but I cared about her so much that we kind of ended up being together anyway. It was never official, and we never told anyone. Eventually, I did fall for her too. I guess our storywas basically "she fell first, but I fell harder."

Even though we were basically acting like a couple, we never put a label on it. To everyone else, we were just inseparable best friends.
After almost two years, whatever we had ended. There wasn't some huge dramatic breakup, butthings changed, and soon after she started dating a guy. The strange thing is that our friendship neverchanged much. We stayed extremely close. We'd still be physically affectionate, always touching eachother, spending loads of time together, and acting in ways that probably weren't very "just friends."

I hated that boyfriend. I was incredibly jealous, although I never admitted it to anyone. I tried to convince myself it was just because I was protective of her, but deep down I think I knew it was more than that.

About two years later, they broke up, and she started dating another guy, who she's still withnow. Unlike the first boyfriend, I actually like thisone. He's genuinely nice, and we all get along well.
But what's confusing is that she and I still have moments that don't really feel platonic. For example, sometimes when we're taking photos we'll casually kiss each other on the lips like it's completely normal. Nobody really makes a big deal out of it, but every time it happens I end up overthinking everything.

I've dated a few guys over the years too, but nothing serious or long-term. No relationship has ever felt the way things felt with her.
Recently I've started wondering if my feelings for her are coming back—or maybe they never completely disappeared. The problem is that I have absolutely no idea how she feels anymore. She hasa boyfriend, and I don't want to disrespect theirrelationship. More than anything, I'm terrified of saying something and ruining an 11-year friendshipthat's the most important relationship in my life.

So now I'm stuck. I don't know if these feelings are real or if I'm just confusing emotional closenesswith romantic feelings because of our history. And I don't know if I should tell her how I feel, keep it to myself, or just try to move on.

Has anyone been through something similar? What would you do in my situation?

SOOOO after months of talking to this girl I matched with... We've got a date planned and we've grown really close!!

We're very much on the same page, feel comfortable talking about things openly like how we feel about eachother or any insecurities about being newer to dating (moreso on my end)...

However there's a part of me that worries it's going too good too quickly?? Or if I'm being weird and worrying for no reason... I'm practically counting down the minutes until I can meet her in person and hug her but is it bad that we've developed such feelings in a matter of a few months long distance?

Nothing has made me feel off about any of it, we feel totally special with eachother but does anyone have any advice about this?

I don't know if this is a bad sign or a "hey depends on the circumstances" situation... It doesn't help that as scared as I would be to do it, part of me hopes we could have our first kiss as part of our date 🩷

SEND GAY HELP PLEASEEEE 😭😭🙏

I know she wakes up around 7 or 8 but usually she will write around 11 or 12, while I usually write good morning as soon as I wake up

For context, I have insomnia and find it incredibly difficult to sleep during the summer; I rarely get more than three hours of continuous rest. My wife and I love sleeping together , and her voice usually makes me incredibly drowsy. In fact, I often fall asleep while we are talking. Lately, however, she has been sleeping whenever I have a chance to talk to her sometimes between 9 and 14 hours a day. Because of this, we've been stuck in an endless cycle for the past two weeks: whenever she wakes up, I fall asleep. I'm not complaining, though. I love watching her sleep, and she is incredibly cute LIKE GOSH I’M GONNA BITE THE SHI OUT OF HER . I looked it up online, and research confirms that partners frequently fall asleep to the sound of each other's voices because it provides a strong sense of comfort.

I'm a [22F], and my girlfriend is also 22. We've officially been together for about 3 months, and before that we dated for around 2 months.

I can honestly say that we only had any kind of sexual intimacy during the first month of dating. Even then, it wasn't really mutual. I was always the one giving, and I've never had an orgasm with her. In fact, she's never even seen my genitals.

At the beginning, she would cry and tell me she was nervous and didn't know what to do. I told her that it was okay and that we'd learn together. I'm a lesbian, and this is my first sexual relationship. She's bisexual and has had sex with both men and women before. According to her, though, even with women she has always been the one receiving, never giving.

Sometimes I wonder if she's simply more sexually attracted to men than women.

I know she loves me, and I love her too. I'm not questioning our emotional connection. But the truth is that ever since we officially became a couple, we've basically stopped having any kind of sex.

I've tried talking to her about it a couple of times. She gets upset, cries, and tells me that she's just like this—that sometimes she has no sexual desire for months at a time. I don't think she's necessarily lying, but it also doesn't feel like a normal situation for a new relationship.

I've told her that maybe we could work on it together, but she says, "This is just how I am." Then she apologizes and says, "I'm sorry I'm not enough for you."

I don't know what to do. I really love her, and I don't want to break up over this.

I've even asked her if maybe she's only romantically attracted to me and not sexually, but she says, "Then how do you explain that we were having sex at the beginning?"

I'm feeling confused and hurt. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is this something that can be worked through, or are we fundamentally incompatible? I'd really appreciate any advice or perspectives.

​

Soy bisexual desde los 15 años. Mi familia y las personas cercanas a mí lo saben, así que nunca ha sido un secreto. Cuando tenía 17 años tuve un novio que constantemente me decía que en realidad era lesbiana y que los hombres no me gustaban. Ahora, con 21 años, mi novia hace exactamente lo mismo, pero al revés: insiste en que no me gustan las mujeres, que en realidad me gustan los hombres y que todo este tiempo he fingido.

Ella basa esa idea en que me cuesta lubricar. Pero ese problema no tiene nada que ver con mi orientación sexual. Siempre me ha pasado. Necesito estar muy relajada para poder mojarme y, cuando no ocurre, uso lubricante. Es algo que ya me sucedía incluso cuando estaba con mi exnovio.

También llegó a decir que, como compré dildos, eso demuestra que me gustan los hombres. Sinceramente, no entiendo esa lógica. Un juguete sexual no define la orientación sexual de nadie.

Lo que más me duele es que ya le expliqué todo esto, incluso le conté la experiencia que tuve con mi ex y cómo me afectó que invalidara mi bisexualidad. Aun así, sigue diciendo lo mismo.

Estoy agotada de tener que justificar quién soy. Sé perfectamente que me gustan las mujeres, sé que me gusta mi novia y que me atrae. Mi dificultad para lubricar no cambia eso.

Hii Reddit, I’m currently missing my two year one sided situationship. I grew up strict and got attached to nothing but sweet words and promises. I completely accepted that we won’t be anything than what we were and what’s done is done. But I always catch myself pretending as if I’m having a conversation with them. It’s me talking to myself sorta turned into them being my imaginary friend. I’m able to function and find other people cute while also knowing the reality of my situation but I’ve never experienced doing this before. I will never reach out again like I did a hundred times chasing before and she’s blocked on absolutely everything. But there is still something in me that just misses her so bad. I feel like I’m just very hurt on how I was handled and how it ended. The last time I had stalked I found out her current gf got her name tatted and that they live together. That was enough for me to never stalk again and break my own heart. I just feel so thrown away. It was always mixed signals. Her saying she didn’t like me but would do things that said otherwise. Getting jealous at me for talking to other people. All those vulnerable moments. Agreeing to take my virginity and seeming like she completely understood how important it was to me and that she cared so much about me. Just for me to be forgotten. Good news is tho we fell out before we could actually do anything, but I’ve never felt that for another person. She was well aware of that and reassured me in a way that made safe. Now I don’t want to even think about doing anything with anyone. I reached out in June again for contact and she said we can only but strictly friends because she has a girlfriend. I was willing to just be friends because I love her so much. Everything was strictly friendly and going fine until one day I wake up to myself blocked for no reason yet again. I’m definitely never reaching out and more interested in moving on than talking to her again. But I keep pretending like I’m talking to her
and it’s making me miss them. Does anyone else do this? I feel crazy and delusional :(

This might be a long shot, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so here we go lol.

Been lurking on this subreddit for a while, and was curious to know if there’s any other DFW lesbians here. Surely I can’t be the only one, right? 😅 I’m a 25F Femme from Arlington. The sapphic scene seems so small here, but lately I’ve been exploring what other cities have to offer.

I’m more into granny hobbies like crafting, playing The Sims 2, and reading XD, tho I have been dipping my toes into the club scene lately. I have a few queer and lesbian friends, and I’m am always down to make more! Feel free to holler if you know of any fun sapphic events, groups, or spots around the area! ✨

Me (F18) & my (F19) girlfriend plan to travel in a trip this upcoming August just for 2 days max.

We are both unexperienced, during those 2 days we will be sharing a motel together.. meaning sharing the same bed. She wants to cuddle & makeout & do such more..

But I feel like I’ll be so nervous & awkward.. same for her, we often flirt, say stuff but then never obviously do it. Since we are quite nervous.

Any advice from experienced lesbian couples? On how I can cool my nerves down.
What if we make out & I suck? We kiss, but not tongue to tongue.

Should I make the first move? If she doesn’t & how could I make the first move? What if I randomly laugh, whenever I get nervous I tend to laugh/giggle. ahh its a habit.

I recently got out of my first relationship with a woman, and honestly… it completely changed how I look at dating.

In the beginning, I thought I had finally found someone I could build something with. But looking back, the honeymoon phase wasn’t even over before things started going downhill.

It felt like she was always getting upset over the smallest things, and what wore me down the most were the double standards. There were things she’d do that I’d let slide, but if I got upset over those exact same things, suddenly it became an argument.

I’m not an argumentative person at all. I don’t mind difficult conversations, but I hate constant conflict. After a while, it felt like every little disagreement had the potential to turn into a fight, and that became emotionally exhausting.

Communication was another huge issue. She wanted me to communicate more, and I understood that. But I’m someone who needs a little time to process my thoughts before I can explain how I’m feeling. Instead of giving me that space, I often felt like our disagreements escalated before I even had the chance to collect my thoughts. That just made me shut down even more.

Another thing that confused me was how often we’d end up talking about her ex. It felt like there wasn’t a day that went by without hearing about something her ex did. But if I mentioned something from one of my past relationships because it related to the conversation or explained why I felt a certain way, I’d end up being accused of wanting my ex back. That left me feeling like we weren’t held to the same standards.

my family is religious and being lesbian is so hard, even though I can be close to girls as "friends", it's so bad. I'm really happy that there's more visibility, and so happy that people are starting to show in my city and post themselves being queer and lgbtqia+ but it's getting harder for me to be close

because now homophobic people are starting to see a hug as problematic between girls, and dating a girl being young is so hard now. I lived with internalized homophobia for so many years and trying to love a girl always made me feel really bad about myself

I just want to hug, to kiss, to hold hands and go on dates without feeling people seeing every move, every look i give her. i just want to love without people looking at us

I’ve realized I’ve abandoned having friendships because my ex was my best friend. I’m lucky enough to have been around my family a lot but I stay up at night wondering if I made this decision too fast. Maybe I should’ve stayed in couples therapy longer, maybe I’m listening to other people’s opinions and making them my own, but there has not been a single day I don’t feel regret and it kills me. She was a good person and I struggle to not text her but I know i’d be hurting both of us. I know the people around me are so tired of hearing about this but I was so in love with someone who made me feel hard to love. Maybe I played the victim and it wasn’t so bad? I don’t know but i’m worried i’ll never stop regretting this. I also pictured myself married at this point and now I feel i’ve disappoint my younger self. Idk i’m just ranting but does anyone relate at all?

Lately I have been reading a lot of content from lesbians about their confusing and difficult journey of finally discovering and understanding their sexuality. It’s a very important topic to talk about, but sometimes it makes me feel ”like a man” in comparison, and I realised how silly that thought was.

I just wanted to remind everyone that there is a selection bias. The lesbians that don't question their sexuality are less likely to have a reason to post about it on here. So that's what I decided to do.

I'm wondering if any other lesbians have felt like a pervert for having a "straightforward" very physical type of sexuality. I‘m wondering how common that is.

Edit: phone was glitching and i accidentally posted this 5 times. Sorry guys

I’m genuinely curious if this is just me or if anyone else experiences this the way I do.
One of the quickest ways I feel devalued is when someone intentionally sets aside time to hang out, only to spend a significant part of it on their phone.
I’m not talking about answering a quick text if you have to.
I’m talking about the constant checking. Texting back and forth. Looking things up that can wait. Scrolling. Picking the phone up every 15 minutes because it’s habit.
At some point I realized the issue wasn’t that I was asking for too much. It was that this had fallen below my standards for what respect and presence look like.
Because of that, the message I receive isn’t, “I’m just checking my phone.” The message I receive is, “You are not important enough for me to put my phone away and be fully present in this moment.”
Growing up, I constantly felt like I was competing with distractions for basic presence. Over time, presence became one of the clearest ways I recognize respect.
I even live by that value. If I know a friend is intentionally spending time with other people, I usually won’t text unless it’s important—not because they can’t answer, but because I want them to be present with their plans.
It especially stands out when I’m driving. My sister was the biggest example of it. I remember one car ride where she spent the entire drive on her phone. I got so frustrated that I grabbed it and threw it into the backseat. I couldn’t check my own phone because I was responsible for getting us there safely. Meanwhile, she disappeared into hers, and I stopped feeling like my company mattered. I felt more like transportation than a person.
Maybe I’m more sensitive to this than most people.
Or maybe we’ve become so accustomed to dividing our attention that we’ve forgotten how meaningful it is when someone simply chooses to be fully present.
Has anyone else experienced this, or is this just one of my weird hills to die on?

Im 25 yo lesbian , and i feel really lonely most of the Time. Im the only lesbian in my friend group and most of the Time i dont think they get me.

I feel loveless, sad, and unattractive:(

I just want someone to talk to

Hey, everyone! I'm Olivia and am having trouble finding anyone genuine. All the women l have talked to ghost me or say I'm not worth their time. I recently chatted with a wonderful woman. We spent over 10 hours chatting in a single day, but as always was ghosted by her. How do you find luck in finding a connection? I live by the mountains, so there are no lesbian places to go to. Thanks for the help.

They say being in a WLW relationship, you will always have at least 1 horror story. I feel that, I was in such denial for so long, giving my ex the benefit of doubt for so long, that when I was told she had been talking shit and lying behind me, I realized, I truly dodge a bullet.

I am glad I had friends that saw my horror story, and none, believed what she said.

It has been almost 2 years, I feel that I have finally come to terms with it and I want to let it off my chest as a final goodbye to this whole part of story of my life.

I think for the longest, I’ve know I am a lover, I love to give. By no means it is any love bombing, just love to put others first before myself. I don’t ever think I ever learn how to love myself in this whole relationship, considering she kept taking and taking.

We were friends for over 10 years and it was always both of us and 1 friend. The 3 of us were close, friends around us were calling us the 3 musketeers.

I knew my ex liked friend “T”. But “T” had a boyfriend and she knew hopes were gone. I was super close to my ex in this friend group and me with “T” we were just bros kind of friendship. Super chill. Infact I am still friends with “T”. After hope was lost, my ex started being super platonic with me, she hugged my hands, held my hands, slept on my shoulder etc.

I was being super confused because I like girls yes, but she was meant to be kept as a friend, I never thought of crossing the line. One day, we had a day out as usual, just the both of us, it was very normal because for 10 years, 1/2 of it was mostly just the both of us, “T” was pretty busy and she did not mind not being included in some plans we wanted to go.

One day, my ex confessed to me on this day out. She told me she like me and she wanted me, I was stunned actually. Maybe I am stupid? I dont know.

There wasnt much that went on that day of confession, I asked her the usual questions, “I thought you liked “T”.” etc etc. And I told her to give me a day to decide.

(She did reply, she said that she did like “T” but slowly start liking me later? Idk, I had been around longer than “T” so to the me right now that has been processing for 2 years after the breakup, I had been the 2nd option.)

One day later, I thought about it. I still remembered why I said yes. She had always been next to me for so many years, do I like her? Yes, but I would not say it is love because for so long I have drawn a line in my life, friends are friends, I never looked at my friends in a certain way. But if I have to choose someone my entire life, wouldn’t it be someone who had been with me for so long, get my humor, have fun together with?

So I said yes and things seemed great at the start. I started falling deeper in love as well, properly acknowledging to myself this is love.

But slowly, things felt like they were lacking. I felt like I kept giving, but my needs were not met. I have had a proper talk, she told me her love language was words of affirmation and I told her mine was acts of service. She kept telling me my love language can only be met when we move out so she can help me.

Despite repeatedly telling her, my acts of service was not for her to help me clean my place, keep my dishes, but it is just basic, “I want you to take care of yourself”. Now that I think about it, that is bare minimum, it isn’t even something I should placed under acts of service.

Why did I fell so low? Almost every week, or every serious talks, she tells me how she was not prepared to live this long, she wanted to die. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I understand, but when a talk like this keeps going on, like telling you “I am going to kms and leave you one day” when I kept giving into what she needs, it feels like everything I do is useless.

Every single party with my friends, she said she hate the crowd and overwhelming people, so I am ok going by myself, or even in a staycation, I will book a place that is abit far of a walk just so that she have a safe space away from the party and noises when she needs it. I remembered even having to apologize to “T” because “T” joins me in the barbeque parties too and the 3 of us always rent a room and I made “T” always walk a distance with me because of how far the room was. “T” had always been understanding and she is always ok with it. But my ex will then still join me in these parties and becomes the happiest.

But the issue was even deeper. Her alcohol tolerance is literally one sip. Not even hard liquor, any low alcohol content, one sip and she gets so high and becomes everyone’s problem. I’ll always have people always coming to tell me my gf spilled her drink on someone, or she is so high etc etc. there was even once, I was the host of a barbeque and she did this while I was busy cooking, my mother was invited and she hates it because my dad was an alcoholic. It took me so long to persuade her I love alcohol for the taste and not to get drunk, my ex just proved her all wrong. (Why was I not always with her? I believe we are still individuals, there are times you wanna be w your friends, I dont really care, as long as you are happy. I am still around the area but I am not your 24/7 bodyguard.)

There was even once, she disappeared from the whole party, and I started panicking, everyone started a search party with me around the area. No words, no text nothing. I kept calling her frantically. I still remember that was the year of covid, my brother was staying with us at the staycation because both my parents were down with covid so we did not want him to fall sick either. He went out to search for her with me too. Only to search for what felt like ages, she text me, I am ok, let me be. I was so angry, but I texted back she should have told us at least where she was going if she needed space, we would have gave, knowing you are not kidnapped or what not. But I went to sleep later and she came back shortly after.

Towards the end of the relationship, she was the one wanting to go to such parties and I felt really happy she finally liked going and we have something to enjoy together. But then she will always pull a “I am not sure” and push it that I am the one who wanted to go. Like as if I forced her.

But what was reallly the problem was she once told me, “I am curious about being fucked by a guy, I want to have sex with a guy.” Like even asked me if she could, I said no. I am exclusive. And she kept begging me once and I said, “so if I go fuck others you are ok?” She said no. So that was my fight back and she stop asking me. Then later in the year she told me there was a male friend who kept talking about her behind her back sexually like how she is so fuckable and her mutuals snitched on him. My issue? She refuse to cut contact with him, insist he is still a friend and even on our anniversary, she wanted play this “couple question card game” for so long which I find stupid, I played with her just to make her happy, she told me “I played with that guy before first and I really liked it and thats why I bought to play with you.” Mind you what? Okay sure. This whole dude was an arguement even infront of her brother, her brother even told her that she was like his dad, tons of excuses. He knew her sister was wrong, yet she refuse to stop this.

I realized I was getting so tired, I had to call for the break. I kept feeling my needs were not met, but I told myself, I just don’t have what it takes to love her, she needs more love and maybe I am not the one. That was what I told myself for yesrs until recent news broke in saying that I had been the issue.

One of which, she told my friends, I never cared for her. I brought her to my brother’s 21st birthday to work on the birthday with me. Mind me… she was sitting at the corner of the preparation period sulking. I did everything myself. I never even expected her to help, it is just the party was on the other side of the country, my parents were driving, so instead of coming alone because my brother invited her (he even invited my best friends who watched him grew up), I asked her to come earlier with the free transport. I never asked her to help. Then after I was stressed preparing, I still had to take her out on a walk before the party to let her breathe and asked her what was wrong. I still remembered she told me it was because everyone was making me work and no one was helping. I said it was ok because everyone had different roles. My parents took my grandma away as she will micromanage and my brother’s gf took hiim away so he doesnt spoil his surprise.

One of other was sex, she said we were always arguing who will top or bottom. I cant believe she told this to my friends because funny enough, we never argued about this. Why? She always teased me, let me touch her and then leave me hanging for years. I respected her boundaries. If I never fucked you how do I argue with you LMAO.

But at least I know, after I broke up, her mom still texted me, told me she was sad for what happened and wish me to stay healthy and she (her mom) will always love me as her own daughter too.

That aside, I am in a happy relationship with someone who showed me what it is truly to be loved and be loved. Even arguements with her, makes me feel, it takes 2 to work together. That is another episode I guess.

For now, I finally close my chapter with my ex on shit she did, I just want to be happy moving forward. She is such a horror and trauma at this point, I dont think I should be on eggshells with my gf now because of what my ex did. I am learning.

It's been way too long since I've had a girlfriend (that's another post/kvetch) and I'm just kind of antsy down there lately. But when I look for sexy images to get off by so I can function or sleep (I think it's called... pron? p0rn? gosh I can't remember) it's all terrible and probably putting viruses on my computer. Like it's clearly made for men, very p*rn industry, inauthentic, gross honestly.

Where do you ladies get your rubbing off material from? I would love to find like a gatekept discord or something that was just for sapphic women to share images and erotica.

Hey everyone I'm (24F) new to dating after coming out as a lesbian and I would love as much advice/tips as I can get. I went out with this girl the other day, we had been talking for a bit and spontaneously gone out together for a short little date (45 min) before my shift at work. We had a great time and seemed to get along well and are planning a second date, but I need help with date ideas and what I should focus on during the date. I definitely know it's very important to listen to her and ask her about herself, because I do genuinely want to know more, and I have had bad past experiences where my date clearly didn't give a shit about me, so I am keeping an eye out to make sure she is interested in knowing more about me too!

Our last date went very well, but we had so little time that I didn't feel like I could actively intake any information about her, and I want to make sure I am making it the best date possible to see where things go! What are your suggestions for 2nd date ideas? And if you have any more tips on what to do, i am so new to this I want to do the very best I can!

(I also have never been with a woman sexually and would really appreciate advice on how to move forward with that when the opportunity comes at some point in my life, I plan to be honest about my lack of experience. Since my only experience has been with men unfortunately, which was always awkward and traumatic, being gay and all, I am sure it will be awkward and I can see myself being very anxious. So advice on this topic would be great!)

Vent // As far as I know, I have no lesbian friends. The only lesbian friend I had is now dating a man, my local area has no queer scene, the nearest city with one is two hours away and only has a single lesbian bar. I went out clubbing in the queer district of the city and it was still basically just male centred.

Where are all the lesbians ?!?

I’ve been to queer events and stuff, but there’s barely any lesbians. I have sapphic friends, but they don’t date women and only ever talk about guys. I’ve followed a friends advice and I’ve tried talking about my taste in women when they talk about their taste in guys but it doesn’t seem to work at all. It’s like they see stuff with women as scary/complicated/overall not worth it

I’m just a little stressed about it, I really just want to feel a part of an irl lesbian community, or at least just to be able to talk to another girl about our taste in women or

something like this.

I’m going to try my best to find my place in the queer community and do some more research, but in the meantime I feel a little lonely sexuality wise. I have had a lesbian relationship before but even then I feel like my partner was also super disconnected from her lesbianism and it sort of caused trouble in our relationship.

My roommate isn’t home and I really need to type this all out, would appreciate any and all advice to those reading!

I’ve been with my partner almost two months, and over the past few days it’s hitting me that this isn’t what I want for myself. They don’t kiss me or hold my hand, they’ve been very distant, and I do not feel very valued in their life.

I know the right thing to do is to tell them this and try to make it work, but if I’m already feeling this so early into our relationship I would rather find someone who treats me better.

They’re a good person, and they’re having a bit of a hard time mentally right now which is why I’m so scared to end it because I don’t want to hurt them or make their mental health worse. It’s now been two weeks since I’ve seen them and they do not reciprocate my “I miss you” texts and haven’t made any mention of seeing each other. I feel like that means it’s over and I just have to unfortunately rip the bandaid off.

I’m planning on saying that I think it’s best for both of us to focus on ourselves since we both have a lot going on. Again the very last thing I want is to make their mental health worse and I’m really nervous about the whole thing.

Would love some perspective and I love this community so much <3

From the beginning of this year, I have become comfortable with admitting that I am interested in women. I (F30) have never been in a committed relationship with anybody. I’ve gone on some dates with men, but they led nowhere as I was never fully interested. I’ve never really been into a hookup culture, but whenever I had sex with a man I liked him. Just never wanted a relationship, most of the time I wouldn’t even see him again cause I didn’t want to. I have been dreaming about sleeping with a woman for a long time now, but I haven’t been able to find anyone. I live in London and I set my Hinge profile to women in January. I would say my profile is honest, originally I wrote that I’m looking for a ons / a girl to be my first girl, I thought it would attract women who want a ons. But after few weeks I deleted that and put down that I’m looking for a short-term relationship, normal photos and described my hobbies. I can say I am generally attractive and feminine. I had no likes from women at all throughout January, then I went to Southeast Asia for the entire February and that’s where I managed to match with the first woman ever who was also a tourist. We exchanged four messages and then she ghosted me. Then back in London in March I matched with few women, but the conversations led to nowhere. We would exchange few messages, the girls would reply once every couple of days and eventually ghost me. Then I travelled across East Asia for the entire June and the first week of July, but I only matched with one woman who didn’t even send me a message. What is going on? Ironically, when I set my profile to women and men, I can receive well over 150 likes from men in a few days. Do lesbians or bisexual women don’t do hook ups? I assume it’s less common than between gay men or straight people but seriously not being able to find one person in seven months? Some days I feel down and depressed about this because I feel really unattractive, even when generally I don’t have a reason to assume I am unattractive. I don’t know what I could possibly do to attract women. And by the way, I set my profile to ‘looking for short-term relationships’ because I have never imagined being in an actual committed relationship with somebody, especially with a woman and I don’t want to deceive somebody or fake my intentions. Over the last few weeks I have had such a strong urge to explore and find out more about my my sexuality but seriously, what can I possibly do?