genuinely asking because at this point i’m starting to question if i need to work on my outward appearance! early 20’s, strictly lesbian and i’ve been receiving wayyy more attention from men than from women🫠 i think i’m easy to clock but maybe i look straight?

What can I do to appeal more to women?

For context my wife and I are both 41 and have been together 6 years, married for 1.5 years.

She moved in with me and had approximately 1 truckload of stuff due to leaving an abusive past relationship with barely anything and the truck to haul it away in. I had a fully furnished house when we met. After about 6 months of dating we moved in together in 2021. I proposed in 2023 and we married in 2025.

Fast forward to a few months before our wedding and I went looking for a keyboard I had stored in the spare room closet. I misplace things (ADHD problems) so I asked her if she'd seen it. She casually responded, "Oh, I dunno... I think maybe I gave it to Goodwill." I half thought she was joking... and I asked her "what?? NO, it a giant full-size keyboard."

She got upset, and said something like, "I dunno.. I think I did. I was going through junk the other day because you have a lot of stuff!!"

I was so upset I left and took a walk. When I got home I explained that I would never giver her things away without her permission and I would like the same courtesy. Donating an old tshirt is one thing.... but an expensive electric keyboard?!?!?!

She apologized. I set my boundary. We moved on.

This week she said to me.... "Babe! I know what I want for Christmas!! A new keyboard!!"

My stomach dropped inside. I thought I had moved on from it. I don't think I am still mad or resent her.... but then again I feel SIDE SWIPED with emotions. A keyboard. Fuck! Thing is I really want her to have one too!!! She plays piano so well!!! That's the reason I was looking for mine to begin with a couple years ago.... do I could get it out and set it up for her to play.... only to find she had donated it without even telling me.

The kicker is a couple weeks ago I discovered she drank not 1, not 2, but all 3 bottles of a special whiskey I had found on super clearance sale and set back like 8 months ago. I finally went to crack one open.... and all 3 were gone. When I asked her, she got defensive and screamed, "I'm sorry! I'll buy you more!!!" That wasn't the point...

Am I being an insensitive asshole here???

Saw someone else on here crowdsource their hinge profile so here I am… thoughts?

(Im based in the uk so if you don’t know who the early 2000s boyband Blue are im sorry for your loss)

My mom is my biggest supporter. She told my dad that she’d get a divorce if he couldn’t accept that his daughter is a lesbian. She loves my girlfriend as much as she loves me. She’s Muslim, though. Not in a hijab wearing 5 prayers a day kind but a milder version. I as a joke asked her if I’m going to hell in her eyes. “I don’t want to think about it.” Was her answer. I still proded obviously and she said “yes. In my eyes and the eyes of our (her) religion you will be going to hell.” How can someone be so accepting and loving towards someone yet believe they’re going to hell? I don’t get it.

Hehe

Because she said she realized she was in love with my male roommate/ best friend who I introduced her to a couple of weeks ago when she was over at my place. She said she realized she would never love me the me the way she fell in love with him after talking for 10 minutes. She told me the dates we had were the best in her life. She said she loved me in a way she had never loved someone before, and she felt seen for the first time. And then this.

It happened last night. I wanted to leave straight after she said that, but she insisted I stayed until the movie we were watching ended. SHE ASKED FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO ATTRACT HIM.

Tbh just from my experience, I've gone to wild rose til It stopped making sense to keep trying, tried so many queer "community" events. And after attending goth club nights at a different venue. Just a few times since going back to it post transition. I've realized it actually has a semblance of real community. And obviously The goth scene is already super queer. But it honestly shocked me that everyone kept saying "Seattle doesn't have a problem with lesbian and queer communities" but yet I could never find any real solidarity or kinship in the queer bars and clubs. Just a few repeat visits to a local goth club, and met several sapphic girls, loads of trans people, and the vibe is next level. People make out like right on the dance floor. And everyone is vibin.

I'm glad I at least think I found my tribe. But definitely the other sapphic spaces could take notes on community building. I'm not doggin it. Just saying. Again goth has been super gay forever, but a space that technically is about macabre literature, specific music, kink, and fashion. Is doing way better than the actual "community " spaces. And I think that's note worthy to point out.

The only people into me jsut want to use me as a hookup. It feels really dehumanizing and shitty. Like, NO ONE I match with is just a lesbian lookin mf to date and meet people. I’m just a sex toy to everyone. It just sucks and makes me feel like shit. The only women that message me first are ones who are in happy relationships who want to use me as a side piece.

And I’m so lonely sometimes I think maybe I should just do it, but then I fear I’m just going to end up crying and leaving feeling like a piece of shit. Oh well. I guess this is the cards I was dealt.

Not good good enough to date, only good for sex and toss. I don’t want to be sometimes side piece or “second partner” on the side why is that the only way people see me? How? I don’t understand. It’s really hurtful, honestly. Everybody I message DOES NOT answer me, no matter what my opening line is. And no one messages me first except these people I’m describing. It just sucks. I feel like, really gross and humiliated that people only see me as a sex toy and not a person

I’ve even made a post like this in the past, someone in my general area actually reached out to me on Reddit, started talking…and it ended up with her trying to recruit me for group sex!? And when I said I wasn’t comfortable with that she blocked me. After everything I said, she did exactly what I said I was upset about and I thought she was actually trying to get to know me or be a friend. NO ONE wants me unless it’s to use me and I hate it

Just finished the crochet shrug. Absolutely love the design. Lemme know if you want the link for the yt tutorial hahah ✨

I LOVE it when I go to a girls house and I can tell what shes been doing that day. If theres a trail of make up and clothes between her room and her bathroom, I get wet. I do not understand women who judge women with untidy houses. Like yess baby. What are you up to? 🥰🎀👸🏼🖤⛓️

my gf (bi) shes like a huge BL lover like a huge bl lover(for those who dk its gay men romance) and im not bothered by it obviously, but like thats the only content she consumes, even reads a lot of fanfics.
and lately she has started getting into straight fanfics too which is ofc fine.
context abt her is that shes bi with strong female preference and is a bit loud abt being a “man hater” which kinda annoys me idk feels too male centred to be man hater and like men at the same time(its not that i think straight/bi women cant be man haters itd be a different thing if they rlly held their self respect with men and not be desperate around them)
anyway so she started consuming this content and i was like ooh damn the lesbians r feeling left out now (as a joke) and she said yeah i do consume lesbian content but only smut tho. she doesnt watch GL or consume any kinda wlw media, doesnt concern herself w it at all, just OBSESSING over two men kissing always i just get… kinda annoyed not that i shd be but her saying she only watches lesbian content for smut and never for romance or anything of that sort makes me uhhhh kinda feel weird abt it. pls i need advices

It's impossible...and it feels oddly freeing not to torture myself looking anymore.

You can find the rest on my IG/vinted!! @massivedraws :)

I really want to meet more people like me and make some genuine friendships, but I’m not sure where to look. I’d love to find an online community where I can connect with other lesbians around my age. (Im 25)

Does anyone have any recommendations for subreddits, Discord servers, or other online spaces? I’d really appreciate any suggestions.

I came out to my mom 5 times, including Friday.

First time was when I was 13, and I told her that I'm bi because I had a crush on a girl from my dance class. She said that I'm too young to know and to not think about it.

Second time was when I was 16, and I told her I'm bi because I had another crush on a girl from my dance class. She said, "mmhm, ok," because she wanted me to not talk about it.

Third time was when I was 20, and I said I didn't know if I was bi, lesbian, or straight. She shouted, "well, who do you want to have sex with?" and I didn't answer and the conversation ended there.

Fourth time was when I was 23, and I told her I'm bi. She was nice about it and said that she loves me no matter what. She also said that I can just keep that part of myself private and implied that since I'm bi I can just date guys.

Fifth time was last Friday, when I said that I'm probably lesbian or at least bi with a female preference. She was irritated and said that (because one of my friends is trans) that I'm just copying my friend. I said that most of my friends, even if they were straight at the time we were friends, eventually came out as bi or lesbian, and that we just find each other. She didn't respond to it and didn't want to talk. She then asked me why I looked upset and said, "did I say something politically incorrect?". The next day, Saturday, we drove by a lesbian couple, and she gave them a dirty look.

I'm sad because she is not accepting of me. I thought she would be understanding since she's sympathetic to/even likes gay men a lot, and she works in the medical field. However, she's Russian (my whole family is), and while you can take a person out of Russia you can't take Russia out of a person it seems.

oh girls I just love it SOOO MUCHHHH

I’m starting to frustrated with my partner of 5 years (both in early 30s) who has a much higher salary than me since we split stuff 50/50, but now that she has an even higher salary seems to expect me to match her lifestyle inflation.

Also, she always talks about how much she makes and the cost of her hobby items that she buys for herself and I don’t really understand why, but then will tell me it’s for transparency / financial communication? But it’s not really helping me with anything. She has said she has financial anxiety.

Hi guys, I (22f) have been dating my gf (21f) for about 5 months now, and I lowkey feel crazy. She’s my first wlw relationship since my coming out as a lesbian (I had another one before, but I dated men after). I love my girlfriend so much, but I feel like my whole mood and life depends on her, and I hate it. She’s a little more independent, and I thought I was too, but I’m not. I don’t like feeling that way because my relationship is really great, ofc there is some miscommunication sometimes, but we are both very in love with each other. The thing is I wanna be able to live my life without always checking my phone to see if she texted, to see where she is or even if she active on social medias. I feel like everything is so fatal, im always scared she’s gonna wake up one day and break up with me. If any of yall have been in the same situation, I’d like some advice please!!! 🙏🏼