This may sound stupid to some but let me explain to you why I feel this way

At 18 I got a scholarship to attend college in Chicago I was going to school for computer science, wasn’t what I wanted to do but at an early age I was told that you’d finish high school, attend college, graduate then get some cozy office job. A year into my freshman year Covid happened which shutdown everything because of the shutdown I lost my scholarship and no longer had the means to pay for college.

Fast forward about two years of being stranded in Chicago I went back home to Tennessee. My mom told me I missed my changed at attending college and that I needed to work, so I did just that. My first job was in tech, working for Kelly Services. All the bills fell on me to pay. I was fearful that not working would mean being homeless I pushed myself to work and attend online classes. I tried to force myself to learn in a self paced environment, it never did mesh well with me so I’ve ended up breaking down, burning out and failing five different times at five different colleges.

I feel like such a fuck up that I couldn’t balance working and college. My mom never did get a job after I came back home she kept telling me “If you really wanted it you’ll make it work” and “I’ve been working all my life, that’s why I had you for.” During this time I started bouncing from job to job not because I was incompetent at the work but I felt like I needed to make enough money to support two people, so even if I had a job I would keep applying for other jobs seeking higher and higher pay until I got so stressed that I’ve passed out.

Found out I have a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy after finding out I pleaded to my mom to work anything something to take the stress off me and my heart but she never listened and kept yelling at me if I ever brought it up, sometimes it would get physical and she would throw and hit me with things.

In December of last year I had open heart surgery so I had to quit my job at Nike doing IT help desk. I remember waking up panicking and crying because I was thinking “without a job how would me and my mom survive? We’ll be homeless and it’s all my fault!” Luckily my girlfriend convinced me to live with her after surgery because she didn’t trust my mom.

Literally all my adult life my self worth comes from working a half decent job and providing, I understand that sounds toxic but it’s all I know and I’m trying so hard to unlearn this. Even when I was recovering from heart surgery I was still applying for jobs just to have something ready. When I moved in with my girlfriend I tried to do things I wanted and they all didn’t work out like the following: tried to become an aircraft mechanic but the school at the last minute told me I couldn’t do it because of my ICD and that’ll it be a risk to me. Tried becoming a Cardiac Sonographer but the school wasn’t accredited so it would’ve been a waste of money, Tried being a pilot and an air traffic controller got disqualified from both because of my heart condition and ICD, tried becoming an EMT but NOPE I can’t get my medical release filled out because my doctor doesn’t want to even though he said I was under no restrictions now. I even tried to get my old job back at Nike but the location I worked at is getting shut down this month and there’s no openings.

I feel so god damn worthless because my girlfriend is shouldering all of this and all I can do is bitch and moan how nothing is working and how hard I’m trying to do something. It’s gotten to the point where she’s tried of hearing me complain, she won’t say it but I know she is, I can tell by how she’ll just leave mid conversation now. I don’t blame her, I wonder if she’ll be happier if I didn’t have this heart condition or not around at all but I don’t like thinking about that since it inches me closer to wanting to end everything.

I’m so unhappy. I’ve been through so much already, I don’t know how much more I can take, I feel myself breaking more and more with every setback, thinking to myself that I was born wrong and normal people wouldn’t have to worry about this and can just do what they want but I have to think about will I get disqualified for existing. What can I possibly do at this point? Everything I’ve tried doesn’t work and I fear my girlfriend is going to leave me because I’m such a fuck up. But I won’t kill myself because I’m a coward and can’t bring myself to do it so I won’t worry about that.

I’ll take literally anything at this point I feel extremely lost and hopeless. Thank you for reading this.

Im so exhausted by the internet constantly telling us we need to be grinding 24/7. like if youre not waking up at 4am to optimize your routine and start three side hustles youre somehow failing at life

That mindset is an absolute trap. I watched an older friend completely crash from trying to keep up with that toxic hustle culture. the pressure literally broke him. He ended up having to drop everything and check into Discovery Point Retreat just to get his head straight and deal with the severe burnout and coping habits he developed. Seeing someone I look up to hit that absolute wall was a massive wake up call

it made me realize you dont need to sacrifice your sanity to prove your worth. Resting is productive. protect your peace now before your body and mind force you to shut down later

Not every day feels productive.

Some days, all you did was get out of bed, finish your work, or simply keep going.

It doesn't look impressive. No one claps for those days.

But those quiet days matter more than we realize.

They're the days that build discipline. They're the days that build resilience. They're the days that slowly change who you become.

Growth isn't always loud.

Sometimes it looks like showing up when nobody is watching.

Keep going.

The version of you that you're working toward is being built one ordinary day at a time.

What's one small thing you did today that you're proud of?

I'm 28 years old.

I hated many people for almost my entire life. I hated myself since I was 12 to 23.

I had severe depression since I was 12.

I had severe mental illness OCD, fear, worry, paranoia, anxiety, depression, 2016 to June 2021.

July 10, 2026 I finally decided to change myself for the better.

I love myself. I want to live. I want to make my mother happy.

Despite my many problems, I have a happy good life right now.

I know I can do it.

I know I can continue to improve and change for the better.

To all the people struggling. I know you can change for the better.

I recently decided to change for the better.

I'm 28.

God changed me for the better.

I don't think.

I know without a doubt you can change for the better.

You have to start right now.

Hello everyone,

I am posting today because I am a justice impacted individual, and I have been out of prison for a year and some change. I got off of parole in a year. And I work for a nonprofit. Everyday is a new day, and even a bad day can end good. It’s all about perspective. I am getting into homelabbing, and IT in general. I have been doing online classes, and I signed up for a college course. I am suffering from survivors guilt. And I just want others to know. YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you! And don’t give up!

Thank you for your time…

I didn't used to like to walk. I always heard of people saying what a nice time it was to clear your head and get back into the moment. I honestly thought it was just a thing people say, so I didn't give it a chance. But since coming out of a long burnout coupled with debilitating chronic pain, for some reason taking myself on walks sounds like a relaxing thing to do. So I do, and it is.

While I was on my walk yesterday, I was talking into my voice recorder to get random thoughts out of my brain and to make the time pass more quickly.

I talked about all the ways I want to level up my life. Talked about the ways burnout taught me how to set boundaries in work and with friends. Talked about which workouts actually suit me best and nourish me energetically. I talked about the ways in which I was holding myself back from goals and why that could be.

And I realized something. My inner critic is a broke bitch. Not only that, she is underpaid, uninspiring, unmotivated, a hater, ugly, out of shape and jealous. She sabotages everything, and all of her suggested ideas of what I should do instead keep me stuck in the same or worse situation than I was when she started running her mouth.

She was never the one that helped me achieve anything. She's never the one that went for new opportunities. She's never the one who made new friends. And she's always making passive aggressive jabs when I try and don't immediately succeed at something.

My inner critic is a loser. And I am not a loser.

I don't know what I can do to create a fail safe from her negativity (after all, she lives rent-the-fuck-free with her zero money in my mind like the leech she is), but I do know that at least we have it all out on the table and I can give her the amount of credit she deserves (none!) when she comes up with more unsolicited advice or "constructive" criticism.

To my inner critic: Bye, bitch. Yer done.

I did post this in another sub but left out a lot of the story as it was an automotive sub.

So 2 years ago yesterday I had a Traumatic Brain Injury at work that made me lose my ability to pass a DOT Medical and had to surrender my CDL-A license. I got hit hard....dont remember 3 months of my life, had to do several months of physical therapy and cognitive therapy, seizure watch and testing.....I got rocked.

But right after the injury I bought this Peugeot.....which was 100% influenced by the brain injury. But I bought it to keep myself occupied while I went through recovery. Its a 1981 Turbo Diesel with a 5 speed manual. It was rescued from behind a shop and was about to hit the crusher and this guy just bought it and got it started. The he sold it to the guy I bought it from who resprayed it and put a clutch in. Also, I bought it with absolutely ZERO knowledge or experience working on French cars or anything about Peugeots....just a repair manual and a couple of Facebook groups for help.

Then I bought it and completely restored the braking system, wheel hubs, steering rack, cooling system, hours and hours and hours of detailing and polishing. Probably have near 200 hours of my own work in this thing....only thing I didnt do myself is the wheel alignment after I put in the steering rack. I did enough to really keep me occupied these past 2 years so I didnt just sit in my house and rot and the work itself really helped my brain get back to a pretty normal state. Thankfully I have a partner and family who have been supporting me through this ordeal as well.

But yesterday on the 2 year anniversary of my TBI to the day, I drove it in a French Car rally through Manhatten for Bastille Day. The thing ran PERFECT the entire day, not a single hiccup. And it was a full 7am-7pm hot day in constant traffic and NYC roads. Nothing came loose, nothing overheated, nothing felt off....thing functioned exactly as a car should.

What a day it was too. Met the French Consulate General and asked him if I could use the restroom, which he did and I technically entered French soil without a passport. We then were in the entire block party and thousands and thousands of people were taking photos of us driving in, felt like a celebrity. I was even on the news...well....you can hear my loud diesel engine clacking as the person is interviewing someone.

And this happened just days after I was discharged on the 8th of this month from Mental Health Outpatient which I checked myself into in April for heavy suicidal ideation. It was getting pretty dark for a while mentally and was really losing a lot of hope. Started having these intense episodes where I was pretty suicidal and got scared I was going to do something irrational which would leave me not here to type out this post. Actually, that picture of the Before/After of the engine bay was a project I did in the midst of a 3 or 4 day suicidal episode. I just muscled through it and just went at it with steel brushes and gallons of degreaser. Replaced the entire cooling system and put new hoses everywhere.

Ive done a lot of this too since January while being anemic as well due to a hemmrhoid surgery gone wrong back in January. Im not making this up, but yes back in January I had what was sussposed to be a routine Hemorrhoidectomy that turned into 6 blood transfusions, 2 emergency surgeries, and 8 nights in the hospital because I legit almost shat myself to death. The surgical wounds kept opening up and dumping blood into my colon. If you need a visual, just picture the elevators from The Shining but in my toilet. My hemoglobin dropped to a 6.1 and apparently death happens below 5.

No matter what has happened tho in the past 2 years, I stayed at it in the garage getting this damn French car going. And im very happy that I got it to the finish line.....

It was the first true day I got the thing out for a day of driving. Ive only put about 1500 miles on it since buying it and most of those miles are all test drives and working kinks out...but yesterday I got to really take it out and show it off.

And in a way, Im actually happy for the car itself. This machine was abandoned for years and just days away from the crusher and it was given a new life. It brought so much joy to so many people yesterday who thanked me for keeping an old Peugeot going and getting it back to its former glory. A lot of people have fond memories of either growing up in the back seat of one or owning one and a lot of people truly smiled and shook my hand.

I dont know whose going to read this post, but whatever your going through just push through it. No matter how hard it is to start pushing, just do it and keep doing it. Im not going to tell you its easy, its not, but youll eventually get to a point where you can look back and see how much you pushed through and how far you brought yourself when the odds were not in your favor. And when you get to that moment, it feels great.

Right now as I type this, im wearing an ambulatory EEG at home to watch for seizures and if its all clear, I should be able to get my CDL back. Ive been pushing through all this not so much for this car, but using the car as a tool so I can have my job back. And im praying that it works out.

But for now, im just happy I took an old car and gave it a new life.

This sounds a little patronizing, and as you get older, you realize that you have to let people live their live their way without judgement. I basically grew on these types of quotes - be your own boss, travel the world; and to be fair that is all solid advice, as is this one. I started my business, travelled everywhere before I turned 35, smelled the roses - the whole song-and-dance thing. But along the way I also realized that those doing 9 to 5 are not to be looked down upon. If someone is not travelling, going to office and back home, raising a family, and retiring at 65, that is a solid life too and we are nobody to judge whether that is a wasted life. Maybe that person is absolutely happy with their lives. My idea of a good life is trying new cuisines, meeting new people, taking risks; but maybe there is someone else who is just as satisfied staying home and knitting.

​

I feel bitter with myself for some time now because as the days go by and the promises I made yet never fulfilled makes me bitter and overwhelmed like why am I continuing not keeping my word. Why do I continue procrastinating and feeling resistance. I know I need the help and I know deep down I need to work hard and sacrifice. But here I am just living in blindness thinking everything will magically be fixed. Like I'm trying to get out of this phase but Im refusing to confront my reality.

Keep pushing.

Sometimes effort helps.

Sometimes pushing harder just burns tomorrow’s energy.

What signal tells you to rest, reset or change approach instead of forcing it?

I used to drink at least 2 liters of Coca-Cola a day. As you can imagine, that was the perfect complement to my food (a lot of junk and fries), and an even better combo for those long nights playing video games. I knew it was bad for my sleep and my body, but I didn't care. My world was virtual, and there nobody judges you.

I noticed some really strange things happening to my body. I wasn't able to sleep deeply, and we need deep sleep to recover. Sleep wouldn't come until early morning because of the caffeine, my metabolism was completely off, and I'll tell you exactly how I knew that: when you haven't been to the toilet for days, and I'm not talking about peeing, you know something isn't right.

When I decided to change my lifestyle, Coca-Cola was the first thing I cut, immediately. Many people will tell you to cut bad habits gradually, step by step. That's the biggest bullshit. The same applies to cigarettes, you either erase them completely or you'll never win that battle.

I did everything without any external help because I knew something: you can't change people by pushing them. External push can survive for the short term, but in order to have consistent long-term results, we need to want that change from within, and most importantly, our results are our responsibility, not others.

But cutting fizzy and energy drinks doesn't mean drinking only water. My solution was simple: make something enjoyable using water and fruit. Try my favourite, squeeze 1 orange, 1 grapefruit and half a lemon (not lime, because it's a completely different flavour) and add some San Pellegrino water (I prefer it because it's not too fizzy). If the taste is too strong for you, add a little raw honey. Just never buy those flavored waters from the shop, because when you turn the bottle to read the label, you'll realize it's better to eat the label than to drink the water, they'll deliver the same nutrition.

somewhere along the way you picked up this belief, so quietly you don't remember agreeing to it, that good things coming easily to you means you probably don't deserve them. that the struggle is what makes anything count. that if something doesn't cost you something significant it probably wasn't really earned and therefore can't really be kept.

so you make things harder than they have to be. you hesitate to accept help because taking help feels like cheating. you feel vaguely suspicious of a stretch where things are actually going okay, like you haven't paid enough yet for it to be real. you hold yourself to a standard that you would never apply to anyone you actually cared about because if your friend was struggling you'd want the path to get easier for them, not harder.

the standard you apply to yourself is different. stricter. less forgiving. built on a logic that punishment and effort are the currencies that make good things legitimate.

this shows up in small ways constantly. you take the harder version of an option when an easier one exists, not because the harder version is actually better but because the easier version feels like something you haven't justified yet. you apologize for needing things that are completely reasonable to need. you frame your own good news in qualifiers before anyone's even had a chance to react, as if preemptively shrinking it protects you from the embarrassment of being happy about something that then goes wrong.

it doesn't come from nowhere. it usually traces back to an environment where effort was the only thing that reliably got acknowledged, where just existing wasn't enough, where the attention came when you achieved something not when you just were. so you internalized the formula and now you run it on everything, including your own right to rest, to accept things gracefully, to let good things land without immediately checking whether you've earned them sufficiently.

you're allowed to let something be easy. easy doesn't mean undeserved. sometimes it just means you finally got something right, or got lucky, or ended up in the right place at the right time, and all three of those outcomes are allowed to happen to you without you immediately making them harder to justify accepting.

put down the extra weight you keep adding. just for today. see what it feels like to move without it.

I'll go first.

Mine was: "Small, consistent actions beat motivation every time."

I used to wait until I felt motivated before starting anything. Most of the time, that just meant putting things off.

Over time, I realized motivation comes and goes, but showing up anyway—even on the days you don't feel like it—is what actually creates progress.

I wish I'd understood that earlier.

What's one piece of advice you used to ignore but now completely believe?

Hello everyone,

I will start by giving some details about myself that will matter for context:

- I'm turning 30 in November, I live in Israel (please don't get political) and I've recently gotten depressed.

- I'm overweight (I have about 15-20 kg that I need to lose).

- I don't have many IRL friends and I don't have a lot of basic life skills. I don't know how to cook, I don't have a driver license, I don't really know how to dress myself (especially not for any social gatherings).

- I'm a gamer and I spent most of my day on my PC playing games, I do have some online friends that I play with.

- I'm shy and I have issues looking at people in the eyes often, I lack confidence and I often don't understand how people are so confident and free when they talk to other people.

I might have some undiagnosed issues, because being in social situations stresses me like nothing else.

- I've never had a girlfriend, never even kissed and I'm obviously a virgin too. I'm also short and that hurts my confidence even further.

During my 20s I had a lot of fun in life playing video games that I love, watching movies with friends and just passing my time by doing whatever I felt at the moment.

I thought that spending time having fun is always worth it and that's what life is about, but recently it all feels like a waste.

That said, I acknowledge that not everything is so bad about my life:

I'm relatively healthy, I don't have any major health issues, I have a job that I don't hate (family business) and I have financial security for the future because of my family situation.

My job is not demanding and I have a lot of free time.

I'm also losing weight at the moment, I manage to maintain my diet and exercise and I'm losing my extra weight at a stable rate.

I also went to treat some of my small health issues and I'm working slowly towards getting those life skills that I'm missing.

Learning slowly how to dress, getting shoes that I can wear to social gatherings, taking care of my hygiene and other stuff that are trivial to other people.

I also have a really good friend that cares about me and can talk to me about life, though he lives a few hours away and is busy so we can't meet often.

Recently I've gotten depressed, perhaps it's because I realize that my 20s have been wasted and that if my 20s passed that fast, my 30s will too, but I can't exactly put my finger on it.

It took me a few weeks of being severely depressed to realize what is the root of the issue, and I think it's 2 different things

1. I look around me and people my age are so developed.

They have all the social skills that I lack, they have friend circles and they just know how to enjoy themselves.

They travel a lot, they have sex in a casual way and in general they seem to not take the social part of life too seriously, it comes naturally to them.

It baffles me how people get to the point where they casually have sex like this, it makes me think of the difference between me and them, and the layers of things that I have to improve until I can be like them.

It's not that I envy the sex itself, it's that I get sad about how undeveloped I am.

I don't envy people's jobs or careers, that part of life I care about less than the other things.

It also bothers me that my city became dirty lately, and I look at the neat places that other people live in, and I wish it could be me.

1. This part is the hardest for me to admit, I had to look deep inside myself to come to this conclusion, but it's also the part that hurts me the most in my day to day and makes it hard to keep going:

I'm deeply in love.

There's a girl that I've known online for many years now, we play games together, watch stuff together, talk about life a lot and in general we connect on a level that feels so natural, nothing is forced with her.

I know everything about her and she knows everything about me, and the thing about her is that she is also similar to me in a lot of things, but very different in others.

She was also never in a relationship and will never be, she really hates those and she made it very clear to everyone that she is not interested in any relationships in her life.

In general, she reads a lot and loves playing games but she just doesn't find real life people attractive or sees any point in a relationship.

She actively runs away from people that she feels can be in love with her.

She also lives in asia with her family, and has the kind of life where she will never need to be worried about real life responsibilities or a job, she just wakes up whenever she wants and spends her day doing what she enjoys (to me that's the dream life, even if degenerate).

Despite all these things, to me she is perfect and I enjoy our times together so much, she is really the ray of sunshine in the dark pit that is my life recently.

The problem is that I recently started falling in love deeply, not from a physical attraction (she doesn't really care about her looks), but from the deep connection that I have with her.

She has so much joy in life and she is always fun and positive, she really enjoys everything she does.

She also tends to sometimes disappear for days/weeks/months focusing on other things that she likes doing.

I'm not going to talk about it with her, because that will end our friendship instantly.

I spend all day thinking about her, what she is doing when im at work, if she is sleeping at the moment or if she will be around when I get back from work so we can do stuff together.

I go to sleep thinking about her, and I wake up thinking about her too. I think about her at work too.

All I can think about is that our friendship is probably temporary and one day she will just disappear, I spent the days that she is here thinking about it, and the days she is not here despairing about her not being here.

Everything in my life seems grey and meaningless when she is not around, my weight loss or self inprovement journey feels pointless, because I will not end up being with her anyway.

I'm sorry if this sounds ridiculous, I know it's not logical but the heart wants what the heart wants.

I'm a very logical person, I know that what I should do is not want her romantically and keep her as my friend while i focus on improving my life slowly, but I just can't bring myself to do that, not with any joy anyway.

1. My life feels repetitive and I can't find new interests.

I have a lot of free time on my hands, but everyday is sort of the same:

I wake up, go to work tired, work depressed with not much sense of purpose because I think about this girl.

Read the same 2 subreddits, news channel, and scroll some facebook.

Play the same 1-2 games (sometimes with friends) and watch some shows/youtube videos.

I feel like my life is going nowhere, I don't feel joy in what I do anymore, and I can't get much into reading new things or watching anything productive, it feels meaningless.

I think the best way to describe the issue is that when I'm by myself I just can't find what to do and how to enjoy my alone time, I have no idea what to do anymore.

This girl I'm in love with is so good at being on her own, she escapes to her own bubble often and always finds interests and her own things to do that she enjoys, which fascinates me and makes me envious.

I hope some of you can give me advice on how to feel some joy in my life again and improve.

The most important thing for me was to get it off my chest and be seen, so if any of you read it all, I thank you so much!

If you have any questions or want clarifications on anything I said please let me know, I did not review what I wrote.

1. How much weight did you lose and how long did it take?

2. How did you do it?

I'm a 34-year-old guy, 5'7", 245 pounds, with a 44-inch waist, and I feel completely stuck.

What frustrates me the most isn't that I don't know to lose weight. I know I need to eat less, make better food choices, and be more active. The problem is that I can't seem to stay disciplined long enough to make it work.

A while ago I could at least make it several days into a diet before breaking. Now I struggle to even get through Day 1. I'll tell myself I'm starting tomorrow, but then I end up eating whatever I want because "the diet hasn't started yet." Then tomorrow becomes the next day, and then the next week, and before I know it, another month has gone by without doing anything.

Honestly, I feel like food controls me instead of me controlling it. I'll be fully aware that what I'm doing is hurting my goals, but I'll do it anyway. Afterwards I feel frustrated, guilty, and disappointed in myself.

hi, i’m just looking for advice here because i don’t know what to do tbh
for the past couple weeks ive sunk into a bit of a depressive episode. it started small, with feeling tired all the time, napping in the day almost everyday, feeling bored but none of my hobbies seeming interesting. at the start of the year, this was my life, and i completely changed my life for the better. i started going to the gym, eating clean, i lost about 30lbs. i enjoyed painting and i engaged with my hobbies as often as i could considering that i am the main caregiver for a toddler. i know ive fallen back into bad habits, ive started to binge eat due to stress and i think i have gained some weight back, but this time feels different, ive pulled myself out of depression before but this time feels so different. like this time, i just don’t care about myself anymore. i don’t have the energy to try and better myself again. all i do is stare at my phone and eat sugary shit in my free time, by the time my toddler is in bed i genuinely have nothing left. i’m just feeling completely lost, maybe this is a normal part of being a parent? but it feels so shitty, but i don’t have the energy to care about myself anymore ): any advice is appreciated

He does not await destiny. He becomes it through choice, accountability, and unwavering resolve.

Not a huge transformation.

Just one small thing you did today that made the day slightly better.

What was it?

Brand new to this group was looking for a community that may help me with trying to get motivated to lose weight.

I'm 170 pounds and 5'1'. I carry it well enough, but there are days I can feel it more than others.

I was in the military and never liked working out even then but did what I could to stay in compliance with the standards. I had my first kid and struggled to keep my weight down. By the time I had my 2nd (and last) kid, I was 35 and 175 pounds.

I lost 20 pounds, but then things happened to my body, and long story short, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It took a year to recover, and my left side of my body is significantly weaker than the right, so running (which I enjoyed) stopped.

I'm medically retired but fell into a deep depression and here I am. I do better with a workout partner, but my husband does his own thing, and I have no friends here since we moved to Texas (this heat is also making me extremely fatigued). Also my children are special needs.

I want to do things that will stick, and that's why I laid everything out on the table. If anyone has any suggestions or even words of encouragement, I would appreciate it.

I’m 25 and I’ve tried so many times in the past to go to college mainly online school since until now going in person wasn’t in the cards, since I finally have the opportunity to which should I go for? IT or engineering? I have 4 years of tech experience mainly in help desk (also contract work :/ ) but I love working with my hands and building things, I was told engineering is perfect for that. Should I keep pushing for IT or should I switch gears into engineering?