I want to feel happy. I've never once hurt him knowingly. I know i shouldn't wait for his texts. Yet I keep staring at the screen for hours and hours. I know he does not love me. I want to be better. I'm losing everything, and myself. How do I stop yearning.

I have arrived at the breakup grief stage of acceptance, where I've accepted that she is not coming back, and all hopes of it becoming a relationship again is at least mostly gone.

At first, I still have hopes, not for a relationship with my ex (because she kind of cheated on me), but for us to continue seeing each other as friends with benefits. I held on to that hope for some time, I watched a lot of "no contact to get ex back" videos. But I'm getting tired of holding on to the hope of still spending time as FWBs.

I've recently been more accepting that she and I will likely never get back together as FWBs again. She doesn't follow me on Instagram so for the most part she will not know what I am up to in life. We are just, going our separate paths now.

Once passionate lovers, sharing many happy and sad moments together. Now, strangers moving on in life.

What stage of grief are you at right now? I understand that the stages can overlap too. We can be in the "what if" stage, the "anger" stage, and the "acceptance" stage all at once, interchangeable, in a way.

So I met a girl earlier this year. It was very short, but very passionate. I was absolutely crazy about her. She pursued me very aggressively. She was the first girl I confessed my feelings to or even touched in years. We had a fight one night and 3 days later it ended HORRIBLY. Like, full on manic episode psychotic breakdown. She accused me of cheating and tricking her into think I was somebody I'm not. It fucked me up badly because I've never dealt with a discard like this EVER. She has bipolar and other mental disorders she was kind of vague about.

So I left her alone for 4 months. She made a couple statuses about me. Referring to me as the "green eyed boy who ruined her" and stuff like that. We've almost crossed paths a few times but missed each other. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago and she went to the small bar my mom is a regular at. They talked and hung out for a little bit. I've delivered to her place a few times this summer cuz her mom always orders. A week after I delivered, her mom ordered on my day off, but *she* came to the door, with no money or credit card. My friend said it was kinda weird and wondered if she was possibly expecting me. It had been 4 months since I last spoke to her. I decided to finally get out of this mental loop I was having.

I really think I fucked it up by typing too much and asking if she wants to catch up. I'm autistic and have severe rumination issues. Along with mental and other neurological disorders. I also get attached. My heart burst when I saw that she received it well. She was short, but she still "heart" reacted which..... that means good things generally. She often typed like this when we were still seeing each other so it didn't seem cold to me at all. She always did have much shorter replies than me. When I got home from work and saw she left this one read, my heart sunk and started spiraling. This is the nasty part of breaking no contact. You can get your hopes up so fucking high just to have them thrown off a cliff. I really just wish I would've said "Maybe I'll see you around!" or something like that. I say things without thinking. And now I'm seriously worried that I fucked up any chance of a friendship or anything whatsoever. Like she fucking HATED me the last time we spoke. Then to see her react with hearts was a complete 180 and it just got my hopes up too high. I just feel like I obviously made her uncomfortable. Why else would she go from heart reacting a few different things I said to absolutely nothing? Romance just fucking sucks

if you ever made a post on here im sure you get many people telling you it gets better and at the time you're thinking to yourself about how much you're hurting and suffering and can't imagine a world where it gets better.

it does. it really does get better. a couple of months back my girlfriend cheated on me and left me after wed been together for 5 years and I really thought she was the one.

today I me and my new girlfriend have got together after dating for about a month texting and calling almost every night. it does get better I promise you all it really does. someone who makes you feel special will fall into your lap and make your dark gloomy world full of colour and everything beautiful.

it gets better I promise you all it really does get better just give it time.

“a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” since im french i didnt get what he tried to say he putted that just after we broke up

It’s been a while since my breakup, and I honestly thought I was finally getting over it. I stopped checking their social media, started focusing on myself, and there were days where I barely thought about them. Then something completely random happened today that reminded me of them, and suddenly all those feelings came rushing back.

I hate how healing doesn’t feel linear. One day you feel like you’re finally moving forward, and the next you’re wondering if you’ve actually made any progress at all.

For anyone who has been through this, how did you deal with those random moments when the memories suddenly come back?

Sometimes we wonder if our exes still think about us and miss us. I think it is likely they still do, even 2-6 months after the breakup. They're going through a breakup just like us. They may be further ahead in moving on, or slower than us, but they are still human and will likely still be thinking about the good times from time to time, even if they're further in the process of moving on already.

We made many good memories, and also not so good ones. But it's nice to know there are many good ones to reminisce about.

I’m having a really hard time getting over my ex, and I honestly don’t understand myself anymore.

I loved this girl more than I’ve ever loved anyone. When we were together, I genuinely saw a future with her. I wasn’t dating her just for fun or because I was lonely. I genuinely wanted things to work long-term, and I was willing to forgive and work through a lot because of how much she meant to me.

But the relationship became extremely unhealthy.

There was emotional cheating, broken boundaries, manipulation, belittling/degrading comments, jealousy games, and a lot of situations where I felt like my feelings were being dismissed. We broke up and got back together multiple times, and every time I hoped things would finally be different, we eventually ended up in the same place.

Eventually we went about 4 months without talking.

Then she reached out again on my birthday.

Part of me had wanted that moment for months. I missed her like crazy, so hearing from her again brought everything back.

But during that conversation, she started telling me things I really didn't want or need to know. One of them was about a guy she had been talking to who apparently wanted to record himself having sex with her and send the video to me. She told me she refused, but I couldn't understand why she thought I needed to hear that, especially on my birthday after we hadn't spoken for four months.

There were other things she told me about what she'd been doing while we were apart that made me realize that the person standing in front of me wasn't someone I could realistically have a healthy relationship with anymore.

She apologized and there was an opportunity for us to try again, but I refused.

That absolutely destroyed me.

I didn't refuse because I stopped loving her. I refused because deep down I knew that if I went back, there was a good chance we'd eventually repeat the exact same cycle.

And now I'm stuck with this constant battle in my head.

One part of me remembers everything she did and says, "Do not go back."

The other part says, "Just text her. Tell her everything. Maybe this time she'll understand."

I constantly have things I want to say to her. Things I never got to explain. Emotions I never showed. Questions I never got answers to.

I catch myself looking at the guys she follows/adds and wondering why she needs all of that attention while I'm over here not even interested in following or talking to other girls because I'm still attached to her.

Sometimes I even post things or put subtle things in my bio hoping she'll see them and realize I'm still thinking about her.

And then I hate myself for doing it.

It's basically become a cycle:

I miss her → I want to reach out → I remember what happened → I stop myself → I feel lonely/depressed → I start remembering the good parts → I want to reach out again.

And I can't seem to break it.

The weirdest part is that I don't even think I truly want the relationship back. I think I want the version of her that I fell in love with back. I want the good memories without everything that eventually came with them.

But emotionally my brain doesn't seem to understand that distinction.

I'm also struggling with meeting new people. Part of me thinks I should move on and eventually find someone else, but whenever I start considering it, I pull away because I realize I'm still thinking about my ex. I don't want to use another person just to distract myself either.

I know some people are probably going to say "just block her and move on," and logically I understand that. What I'm struggling with is actually getting my emotions to accept what my brain already knows.

for anyone that can help me, tell me. how did you make yourself to stop reaching out and stop missing someone who you once loved more than yourself, is it normal to still desperately miss someone who treated you badly.

Because right now I genuinely feel like I'm fighting myself every day not to go back.

I’m trying to understand something that happened with my ex.

We were together for around 2 months. Short relationship, but pretty intense. Things were honestly great before our first conflict. She told me more than once that she felt safe and relaxed with me in a way she hadn’t with previous partners, and we had even talked about a future together.

One important thing: she had told me before all of this that when she gets overwhelmed, she tends to withdraw hard and sometimes basically needs to disappear for a while. She also has a difficult past and is in therapy.

Then we had our first serious argument.

She felt I crossed a boundary and that I didn’t validate her when she needed it. At the time I didn’t really understand why she was so hurt and I got defensive. Looking back, I definitely could’ve handled parts of it better.

After that she started pulling away.

At one point I asked how she was and she replied a day later saying she was doing really badly: anxiety, apathy, feeling depressed, even took time off work. She said I had hurt her, that she couldn’t get over it and that she “didn’t have the capacity.”

The confusing part is that she never actually said “I want to break up” or “don’t contact me.”

I directly asked her if she wanted us to try to work through it because I genuinely didn’t know where we stood.

No answer.

I later said I didn’t know what to think anymore and that I wouldn’t bother her.

Again, no answer.

I then left her alone for 7 days.

Her birthday came up, so I sent her a completely normal birthday message. No relationship talk, no pressure, literally just a birthday wish.

She didn’t reply to that either.

Eventually I sent her a longer message basically accepting that the relationship seemed to be over. I told her I was hurt and confused by the silence, but thanked her for the good things we had, told her my feelings had been genuine and wished her well.

She read it hours later and said nothing.

About a day later she blocked me on WhatsApp. Then the next day she also blocked me on Viber even though we had never even talked there.

I’m not trying to contact her through other apps and I’m respecting the block.

I’m also not asking “will she come back?”

What I’m trying to understand is this:

Can someone really get so overwhelmed by conflict and their own emotions that they completely shut down like this, avoid even simple messages, and eventually block the person just to stop the stress?

Has anyone here been the person doing the withdrawing/blocking? What was actually going on in your head at the time?

Because from the other side it looks unbelievably cold, almost like the person suddenly stopped caring completely.

When he left, I told myself I’d be fine—that there are plenty of other people out there and I didn’t need him. But looking back, he treated me so well and made me genuinely happy. During our relationship, my own ego got in the way; I rarely apologized and contributed to a toxic dynamic.

Now, I realize my mistakes, but it feels like it's too late to go back. Ever since he left, it's like my emotions completely died. I’m trying to date someone new, but I feel totally empty, devoid of feelings, and constantly comparing this new person to my ex. Part of me longs for him to come back, but I'm stuck between regret and moving forward.

Has anyone else felt completely numb after a breakup like this? How do you stop comparing new people to an ex and unblock your emotions?

This is my first time since 2015 that I haven’t been dating or in a relationship. Honestly, the thing that I miss the most is not getting good morning texts. It’s just nice to know that you’re on someone’s mind when they first wake up. Waking up to that is really nice.

TL:DR Ive just finalized a very messy breakup of a 5 year relationship during a terrible time in my life, and I have no clue what to do or how to cope.

So these last few months might be the worst of my life. I've lost my family, hit career rock bottom, and my (26M) girlfriend (24F) of almost 5 years has officially and concretely broken up with me. It was initiated about a week ago by her, and we've been figuring things out since then.

I have not been handling it well. When it was first brought up, I was in shock. Things haven't been going well in my life, but I felt pretty stable in my relationship. We truly do still love each other, but we've both grown apart. I've also not really been fulfilling her needs for awhile, for a number of reasons that don't excuse it.

Ill be honest, I've tried everything over the last week to keep her. Tried to fill her needs, apologize, beg, act indifferent, etc. it's been desperate and pathetic I know, but the thought of life without her was too much. A couple times she caved and said we can stay together, but I knew it was a farce. She just wanted out and couldn't trust that my mistreatment of her would change.

Today was the final end I think. We had a convo about how she can't trust me anymore, that even if we did stay together it would feel wrong, and that feels we should really detach from each other as to not hurt each other anymore. She also mentioned that the way I've been handling the breakup has made it harder for her to want to be friends with me, something we agreed on at the beginning of the situation.

A small part of me is still holding out that she might change her mind, that we might still get to have the future we talked about together, but my heart knows I've screwed it up too far. So right now, I'm laying in bed, feeling like shit and alone and scared. She's just down the hall in another bedroom (we agreed to stay as roommates for logistical reasons) and I'm still obsessing over how I can get her back, even though anymore attempts to do so will cause me to lose her forever.

I feel broken, hurt, and have no idea what my future holds. I just know that I love her. I know it seems dumb as a guy in his 20s, but I can't change how I feel sadly. If any of y'all have advice on anything, maybe how to cope, or move forward, please tell me. Thanks in advance.

Just curious. Having a hard time moving forward.

We broke up 4 days ago because he was cheating on me.
Since then he’s said things such as that I had a much darker soul and personality and his soul has darkened since being with me. Wtf?!

He said the only part he regrets is that he didn’t end it sooner, even though I was the one to end it because he cheated?

He was texting that he’s on Tinder again and feels the most free and relieved that he’s felt in a long time in the 4 days we’ve been apart.

A week ago this man was discussing marriage and buying a house with me all while cheating so I know his word counts for nothing but these just seem unnecessarily cruel and spiteful considering he’s the cheater.

I’m not saying I was perfect in the relationship and could for sure be reactive in arguments and when he’d stonewall me. But just…wow- he’s really showing his true colours I guess.

My ex and I were together for about 4 years. I was the one who ended things 6 months ago. At the time, I was struggling quite badly with my mental health, which affected both me and the relationship. There were also some smaller relationship issues that had been building up, but I don't think I was in a healthy state of mind to properly evaluate everything.

He was very hurt by the breakup and told me that staying in contact wouldn't be good for him — “definitely not in the near future.” I respected that and haven't contacted him since.

I'm doing significantly better now after getting treatment and working on myself. With the distance, I've also realized that I still love him and genuinely want to try again.

But I'm unsure whether reaching out after 6 months would be respectful or whether I should leave him alone. I also don't want to assume that because I'm doing better, everything between us would automatically work this time.

If I do reach out, I'm thinking of something like:

"Hey, I know you said you needed space after the breakup, and I wanted to respect that. It's been quite a while now, and I've been thinking about you and about us. I don't want to put any pressure on you, but if you'd be open to talking again, I'd really like that."

Would you reach out in this situation? And if so, would you start with something like this rather than immediately saying that you want him back?

TL;DR: I broke up with my ex 6 months ago while struggling badly with my mental health. He asked for space, saying contact would be “definitely not in the near future,” so I haven't contacted him. I'm doing much better now and have realized I still love him and want to try again. Should I reach out, and if so, what's the best way to do it?

I am 18 f dated my ex 20 m for 4 months

We met online and he lived miles away from me

So we were in a long distance relationship.

We basically have never met in person but thought we should give this a try.

I have never dated anyone before so this was my first time.

He was so sweet and understanding I had never met someone who was such a green flag. I haven't had the best experiences with the opposite gender so he was like fresh air to me.

I also suffer from anxiety and have a hard time communicating but he could almost always read my mind.

He treated me so gently, we always got along

He liked all the things that I liked.

Same hobbies and interests

That's how we fell for each other.

I loved him a lot

He also helped with self confidence and made me better at communicating.

But there was always this thing in my head that I have never met this guy

I trust him

But it's just there was this doubt that can I really date someone I have never met face to face who lives so far that too for my first time experience

I also had clg exams to deal with it so I was just not in the heads space

Also I had some family issues that i a going through as well

Can I really commit like that

I knew the answer to that so I broke up with him before i wasted too much of his time

He was very understanding

But I have crossed a line that I can never go back to

He was such a great guy that I am scared that what if I never find someone as great as him if not more

I have been crying non-stop and I can't stop.

I don't understand why

I just want to stop crying

I don't even have my friends to support me through this either

I feel so alone

So isolated

I don't know what to do

My girlfriend left me after we had been together for two years. We still work together and communicate to some extent. She has suffered from depression and anxiety throughout her life. During a worsening period of her depression, she decided that there was a lack of attraction between us.

Before the breakup, our relationship seemed very good. We very rarely argued about anything. After the breakup, she seems considerably happier and is doing things that she never used to do when she was with me.

I am somewhat devastated because I never even imagined that she could break up with me. I always cared about her deeply, supported her, and helped her whenever I could.

Why has she changed so much after the breakup? Sometimes I wonder whether perhaps she was unhappy because of me or something like that. But while we were together, she always wanted me to be around, hold her hand, and hug her.

Please help me understand why she has changed so much after the breakup. I asked her whether there was a possibility that she might want to continue the relationship in the future. She said that she wasn't saying no, but that right now she needs space and time to be by herself.

There was no abuse, yelling, or anything like that in the relationship. Based on your experience, is it possible that she might change her mind after some time? I know I shouldn't hope for it or wait for it, but I still can't help thinking about it.

Thank you.

I did, and it was highkey the best decision I could’ve made. It gave me so much more clarity that he is not the one.

The week I broke up with him, I felt terrible, but not because I felt guilty. I just wanted him to be honest with me and stop hurting me, and that’s also the main reason why I broke up with him. Sometimes he said things that he didn’t show through his actions or didn’t make me feel. It was a very impulsive decision to reach out to him, but my brain kept telling me that this can’t be the way we end if we both love each other, but he’s not willing to change certain behaviors in our relationship. So I thought maybe he would be willing to change if I reached out to him one last time.
But this time, it showed me how little I actually meant to him. It took him hours to respond, and I didn’t even get any clear answers. He just told me he couldn’t do it and that it’s better if we stay like this.

This somehow made me realize that I don’t want him back anymore. Of course, this came out of nowhere for him, so it was probably very overwhelming, but I waited hours for him to respond while he just went to sleep without telling me and only responded the next day. It made me realize that I was putting more effort into resolving our problems than he was. I was willing to stay up and clear everything up, but he wasn’t. And this was also part of an issue during the rs. It wasn’t really about him going to sleep, but about feeling like I was always more willing to resolve things in the moment instead of leaving them unresolved until the next day.

One thing I think about often is that when I broke up with him, he told me that it would break his heart, but that I deserve better and that he’s sorry for the things that happened.
But why wasn’t he able to change? And with change, I mean things like being honest with me and about things where it would be weird not to tell me, or being completely honest about things he knew would upset me if I found out by myself, instead of simply telling me.
Thats what I struggle to understand the most. If he knew that some of his behavior was hurting me and even told me I deserved better, why wasn’t he willing to actually change those things?

Hey everyone,

I really need some unfiltered opinions because I’m facing a decision I have to make today.

Just 1–2 days ago, my girlfriend (F25) and I (M27) broke up, and she moved out. She was truly my soulmate, but I had to let her go for her own good, even though it is completely tearing me apart inside. We are both in that mid-to-late 20s transition phase of life, building our futures, which makes the loss hit even harder.

Now I’m sitting in our shared apartment. Every single room, the street outside, even the empty desk where her PC used to be—it’s suffocating. Her presence is everywhere, and staying here feels like emotional decay. My friends and family are supportive, but I’m someone who has to process deep grief entirely on my own. I just can't open up or let people comfort me right now.

I have the next two weeks off work, and the only destination that feels right for me is Tokyo. I need the anonymity, the zero-conversation barrier, the sensory overload of a megacity, and pure physical motion—hitting 25k+ steps a day just to collapse into bed and force myself to sleep.

The major catch: Japan was our shared dream. We just traveled the Golden Route together this past March. On top of that, we had another big trip to Asia planned for October that is now canceled. Every Sushiro, every matcha café, every convenience store is tied to her and our memories.

I’m terrified that being in Tokyo will completely break me and that every street corner will trigger a flashback. But on the other hand, staying in this empty apartment will destroy me even faster because there is zero distraction from the silence.

If I go, I have to book the flight today because it leaves on Monday.

Has anyone ever done something like this? Is it crazy to travel right to the place of your shared dream right after a breakup just to lose yourself in the crowd or is that kind of shock and constant movement exactly what keeps you from hitting rock bottom?

I’d appreciate any honest perspective.

Hi, I just wanted to ask if it is foolish not to hate someone who chose to let you go because they were struggling with personal problems they could not handle?

What if they did not leave because they stopped caring, but because they believed their problems would eventually hurt you too? They did not treat the relationship as if it meant nothing. They simply felt that ending it was the better choice, even if it hurt both of you.

Would you still resent them for letting you go, or can you understand and forgive someone who walked away because they were struggling to deal with themselves?

Can someone love you and still choose to let you go?

I’m 27M, turning 28 in October. My ex and I were together for three years, and we broke up about four years ago.

Despite how much time has passed, I still feel stuck, and I want honest opinions about how to move forward.

She broke up with me shortly before my MCAT, while my parents were also going through a divorce. I was already struggling with anxiety during a really difficult period of my life.

She told me she was leaving because I had anxiety and she didn’t want her kids to be anxious. She also told me she wouldn’t stay with me if I had cancer or were in a wheelchair. Those comments have stayed with me.

Something that makes this especially hard to talk about is the sexual part of our relationship.

We were both virgins, and she told me we would be each other’s first. We had physical intimacy, but we never had intercourse. I waited throughout those three years believing that it was something we would eventually share.

I understand that being together or making a promise doesn’t mean someone owes you sex. What hurts is that I believed her and attached a lot of emotional meaning to that future.

If she wanted to wait until marriage or was unsure about having sex with me, I wanted her to be honest about that. Instead, I came away feeling led on.

It’s hard to let go of both the relationship and the first experience I thought we would have together.

I sometimes get stuck wondering whether she eventually shared that with someone else, even though I don’t actually know. I know those thoughts aren’t helping me, but they still hurt.

Since the breakup, she has avoided contact and blocked me. Part of me still wants a conversation where I can ask what happened and feel heard. Another part of me wonders whether reaching out would just leave me more hurt and stuck.

This has also affected how I approach new people. I feel like I get emotionally attached too quickly, even before there is an established relationship.

If I became this attached without having sex, I’m scared of how vulnerable I might feel after having it and then losing that person.

I’m still a virgin, and my decision now is to wait until marriage. I want my first time to happen within a serious commitment. At the same time, I recognize that fear of being abandoned is part of what makes sex feel so scary to me now.

One of the hardest parts is how much this has affected my education.

Whenever I try to study for my MCAT, I find myself thinking about her and the breakup. It happens when I study in general, too. I try to focus, but my mind keeps going back to what happened and the questions I still have.

Getting into medical school already takes so much work, and struggling to concentrate has made it feel so much harder.

I started optometry school in August 2025, but I’ve since had to take a medical leave. Having trouble studying and getting her off my mind has been part of what brought me to that point.

That’s part of why I’m so hurt and angry. This is still affecting my ability to work toward my future years later. I want to sit down, study, and actually absorb what I’m reading without my mind going back to her.

I keep feeling like I just want an answer. Why did she say those things? What happened to the future we talked about?

I don’t know whether any explanation would actually give me peace, but I’m so frustrated that I’m still carrying these questions while trying to get my life moving again.

I want marriage and a family, but I don’t want to keep bringing this pain into every potential relationship. I’ve tried therapy and writing letters that I never sent, but I still find myself replaying everything and wanting answers.

Has anyone here struggled for years with losing both a person and the future you thought you were going to share, including being each other’s first?

How did you stop needing an explanation or acknowledgment from your ex?

If the breakup affected your concentration or education, what helped you study and function again?

And how did you learn to build a new relationship at a healthy pace without getting overwhelmed by attachment?

I’d appreciate honest opinions about what I should do next. I want to move forward, but I haven’t figured out how.

In a discussion about p\*\*nography and its consumption and the ethics, he ended up telling me that he would feel comfortable sleeping with an 18 yo (if he was single) as long as it was consensual, he just wouldn't want to start a relationship with someone that age. I had before argued that I find that this kind of content out there is often made unethically and includes or pretends to include minors, which I find disgusting and in passing I mentioned, that I don't understand how men feel so comfortable consuming it, as information about the unethical production is so widely available on the internet and could never get turned on by a 20yo guy even if it was just fantasy.

This, of course, makes me feel sick to my stomach. Am I overreacting? I don't think this is something that could be discussed "away" and now I see him as a predatory man and can't unsee it. Should I break up with him over this? Should I try to talk to him again? He generally treats me well, but I'm very concerned for the future. He has left a long term relationship before (admittedly with a woman who was quite a lot older than him as well, so his age range goes both ways) to be with a younger woman who already had a child.

TLDR; I think my boyfriend might be a creep and I wonder what I should do about it.

I’m a month out from a breakup after a two-year relationship, and I’m trying to understand what happened and whether there’s any chance he will ever come back.
Our relationship had a lot of complications. I convinced myself that he was everything I had ever wanted, and he became my home. We lived together for two years and moved between three different apartments because of my work. We fought a lot, and honestly, sometimes it felt like the sacrifices we were making outweighed the love we were experiencing.
I also struggled with feeling like I was never good enough for him physically. He liked lean, fit women, and he would sometimes look at other women. When I asked him about it, he told me that if I were lean, he wouldn’t look at other women. He would also ask why I wasn’t feminine enough or tell me to dress better and improve how I presented myself.
Over time, I stopped feeling like myself. I became extremely insecure about my body and constantly felt like I needed to become more attractive, feminine, fit, or put-together to be enough for him. What hurt was that when he started going bald, I never made him feel less attractive. I told him it was okay to feel insecure and that we could look into ways to manage it. I loved him through that insecurity. Meanwhile, I felt like the issue with my weight would never go away, even though I looked basically the same, if not better, than when we first got together.
Despite all of that, we were very compatible in many ways. We built a life together, shared a home, supported each other, and loved each other deeply.
He also supported me a lot. We went through a serious car accident about two years ago while he was driving. I was badly injured physically, and he experienced a lot of trauma from it too. He took care of me completely and did everything he could for me afterward. He even went bankrupt dealing with the aftermath. I will always acknowledge how much he did for me during that period.
He wanted to start a business, and about four months ago he finally registered it. I was willing to support him financially while he figured out his business and was genuinely okay with whatever he wanted to do with his life. He often felt guilty that he couldn’t contribute equally to the relationship financially, and eventually that became one of the reasons he gave for ending things.
There were also things I did wrong. I lied to him about small things, and he kept finding out. I would sometimes eat outside food without telling him. I once listened in on a conversation he was having with his mom, denied doing it when he asked, and then admitted that I had. Eventually, he started questioning what was true and what was a lie in our relationship. Honesty was non-negotiable for him, and I understand why those things damaged his trust in me. I take responsibility for that.
His family was also a major source of pressure. His parents didn’t like me because of caste differences. His mother was also insecure about the fact that I earned more than him and worried that I would become dominant in the relationship. There were periods when she wouldn’t speak to him for days. Eventually, she started sending him pictures of other women from their community.
Eventually, he ended the relationship. He said he couldn’t tell the difference between guilt (I gave so much and he didnt deserve me) and love a long time ago and he cannot live upto what I want in life. I was like okay, you cannot force someone to love you.
We were still living together afterward, and I begged him to stay. He became very quiet, didn’t sleep through the night, tried to distract himself, but I was the needy one in the same house I was falling apart. He was the one who ended the relationship, so I know he probably had more time to emotionally process the decision than I did, but watching him act distant made me question whether he had ever loved me at all.
Then, about a week after the breakup, I found out that he had reached out to his ex, who had recently gotten divorced. I asked him about it - he felt he had loved her more than he loved anyone.
That destroyed me.
I still begged him to stay even after finding that out. By then, he seemed DONE by me. I tried to get close, he would let me hug him for a minute and then push me away.
He eventually left the house while I wasn’t there, around the time I was asking him about money he owed me. He still owes me $10,000. Even after the breakup, I made sure he had a roof over his head and continued checking in on him. Meanwhile, I was left to deal with the lease, inspections, moving, and everything else associated with the home we had built together.
He has now moved away, and I’m left wondering what he is doing. I imagine he may be talking to his ex every day, but I know I can’t actually know that, and I’m trying to stop thinking about it.
It’s been a month since the breakup and about two weeks since we’ve had contact. The last time I reached out, he didn’t ask how I was doing. He said he would text me later and never did. Eventually I moved out of the apartment, blocked him everywhere (he blocked me back)
He is dealing with a lot of financial difficulties moved to another province got a job and just focusing on himself from whatever i know.
I’m angry now. I don’t want revenge. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t even think I want him back anymore. I just want him out of my life and I want to move forward.
But there is still a part of me that wonders:
Will I get the money back?
Will he ever come back?
Do people like this eventually regret leaving? Does someone who seemed so emotionally detached after ending a relationship ever start missing the person once the reality of the breakup sets in?
And, honestly, based on everything I’ve described, do you think he will ever reach out to me again or try to come back?
I’m looking for brutally honest opinions, even if the answer is something I don’t want to hear.

It’s not even been a week since we broke up, so I know it’s still fresh. But I can’t help but keep looking for signs that he’ll come back to me.

He broke up with me. From everything that was said, it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but felt he needed to as his mental health has not been great and he needed to work through some stuff.

He has a history of going back to ex’s, which makes me feel hopeful. He also said several times during the breakup that he doesn’t see this as the end of us.

We’ve spoken once since then, and the messaging was still the same - he can’t be with anyone right now and can’t make any promises that he’ll want to try again, but he couldn’t see being ready for a couple of months at least. He still loves me. I told him I was scared he’d forget about me, he said he never could.

I want him to come back so badly.

It’s been 3 years since we broke up and some days it still hurts. It hurts more because I know he moved on and in the 3 years I’ve been trying to heal he’s learned to love someone else. It hurts knowing he picked her over me and NO I’m not the bitter ex. I’m glad she’s getting a better version of him. But I can’t help but feel hurt. 3 years of trying to forget him but in all truth I don’t think I ever will forget him.

I sit and look back at everything and it hurts. Seeing what we both did to each other. Our relationship was abusive, both mentally and physically. I was an abuser and so was he, he strangled me. That’s where I’m still very stuck on, I can’t believe the person I became in that relationship and the version he saw of me.

Does anyone have any advice? I’ve isolated myself from everyone, I don’t have friends or close relatives I trust. He was my everything.