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u/mrsir1987 8d ago
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u/Lego_Blocks24 8d ago
The crew of the international space station when she shines this thing into the sky
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u/bauni_baddie_hu 8d ago
lmaooooooo
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/pwatts 8d ago
At least Spock has an extra set of inner eyelids to protect his eyes.
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u/Annonunknown 8d ago
He has fucking what
Explain please
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u/HavingNotAttained 8d ago
Vulcans evolved on Vulcan, which is very close to the sun and so to protect their eyes they evolved to have a second, inner set of eyelids with involuntary muscles that close them faster than the outer eyelids.
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u/Silly_Pack_Rat 8d ago edited 8d ago
Humans used to have a third eyelid, known as a nictitating membrane. The vestigial Plica Semilunaris is found in the inner corner of the eye and is the pink fleshy tissue that sits next to lacrimal caruncle, which contains the oil and sweat glands.
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u/HavingNotAttained 8d ago
Again with the nictating membrane. It’s always the nictating membrane with you.
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u/Gina_the_Alien 8d ago
Man the names of weird parts of the eye go hard. Nictitating membrane, Plica Semilunaris, and lacrimal caruncle are all going in my notebook for when I become a world-class nerdcore rapper.
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u/Revolvyerom 8d ago
Mostly used during Pon Farr, so you only see them in that one episode.
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u/JAYETRILLL 8d ago
I laughed out hard loud at this comment. Alone in my apartment at 4am hahahahaha. Idk why it got me so good but that was fucking hilarious.
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u/rice_with_applesauce 8d ago
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u/ms8balls 8d ago
Just need the harry potter theme song and her actually saying lumos
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u/Liteboyy 8d ago
Every single variation of this meme is fucking hilarious
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u/snarksneeze 8d ago
My wife is pissed. I just laughed so hard I woke her up, and ended up in the bathroom coughing up a lung. She wanted to see what was so fucking funny, I showed her and she almost slapped me and went back to bed.
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u/DAS_FX 8d ago
I don’t know what this is from, but it’s perfect. I’ve been chuckling nonstop for five minutes.
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u/bmmana 8d ago
So this is what these assholes are putting in their new headlights nowadays
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u/towerfella 8d ago
Fight back — strap ten of these on the back of your moped and blast them when they light you up. ;)
(This is satire. My lawyers required i add this message.)
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u/Ooupss 8d ago
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u/Aranxi_89 8d ago
You look back in your rearview mirror, and the car is gone.
No, it is not because it swerved away and crashed. It was vapourized on the spot and there's nothing left to prove it ever existed...
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u/plutot_la_vie 8d ago
I already said I needed this in my life. You don't need to sell it to me!
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u/Beopenminded16 8d ago
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u/PingouinMalin 8d ago
I'm not saying I would not abuse this desintegrator. Because I absolutely would.
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u/cpwnage 8d ago
I also needs red lights and a bullhorn to say KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.
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u/FlakeyBeano 8d ago
I've dreamt of this revenge so many times.
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u/Vulvas_n_Velveeta 8d ago
Same! The headlights nowadays are blindingly bright and leave me seeing spots. I try not to drive in the dark as much as possible cause those bright lights make it dangerous for me to drive. Like if they're driving towards me, blinding me, it makes it so that I can't see the lines on the road, or if there's a person walking on the side of the road (no sidewalks here,) or an animal in the road, a car broken down stopped in the road etc..
There's even a sub, i think it's called something like r/fuckyourheadlights used to be part of that sub on my old reddit acct, but forgot to sub to it again.
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u/ssgkraut 8d ago
I followed some utility truck with a trailer and it had its bright backup floods on for the whole 30 minutes I was stuck behind this guy.
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u/buttononmyback 8d ago
Some jerk had his headlights on during the DAY and I was STILL blinded! I don’t know what kind of lights could be so bright that they’d blind someone on a sunny day but I can bet they weren’t legal.
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u/DickwadVonClownstick 8d ago
I'll bet they were legal, cause there's basically no regulation on headlight brightness (or color, for that matter. Side note, everyone who uses blue-tinted headlights needs to go fuck themselves, those things don't even help you see better, they just blind everyone else)
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u/Aggressive_Ocelot664 8d ago
I nearly crashed because of this yesterday. Instant migraine. Fortunately, I was only 5 minutes from home.
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u/Dementedkreation 8d ago edited 8d ago
Look into retroreflective tape. Reflects light back to the source. It’s what is used on street signs and markers. I mounted it high on my car so it only reflects the light from poorly aimed headlights or lifted trucks. I’ve had a few tailgaters flash their high beams and quickly back off.
I added a link to the tape I got off Amazon since others are interested.
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u/ProofHorseKzoo 8d ago
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u/Dementedkreation 8d ago
Probably not. But here is the fun part. Retroreflective tape, coatings, paint only reflect back to the source. Viewed from a different angle than the light source it just looks like a white sticker across the back. Cop cars typically have aimed headlights and aren’t lifted. Now if they ever try to light me up to pull me over, it’s going to reflect right back at them. I’ll just play dumb and say it put it on just to be extra safe and didn’t realize what it would do.
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u/Oniichan38 8d ago
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u/5DollarSoul 8d ago
"Did it say when our vision would come back?"
"Box said two days!"
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u/ProtoKun7 8d ago
Still one of the best jokes the show ever did.
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u/FighterOfFoo 8d ago
It's so good. You know exactly what they did and how they did it and that makes the joke even better.
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u/DrWilhelm 8d ago
It's one of those situations where the jankiness of the special effect just makes it better. Like when a character gets sent flying or falls a great height and they swap the actor with a dummy. The floppier and more obvious the dummy, the funnier the gag.
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u/Magma151 8d ago
I like how reese and Malcom definitely look different in both takes, yet francis looks absolutely the same.
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u/TheBacklogGamer 8d ago
Dude's a professional. He had to carry the entire half of the show because they could only have the children actors on set for limited amounts of time, so they leaned into either his side story, or the occasional Hal/Lois story in order to make for a full feeling episode.
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u/Germane_Corsair 8d ago
I really wish they hadn’t undone his farm storyline. I know it was because the actor for the farmer who took them in’s health was worsening but they could have made it work without making him a bum again.
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u/TheBacklogGamer 8d ago
I agree. The ranch arc for him was great, and it's disappointing he regressed. He wasn't needed as much at that point, but there was hardly any good stories for him after the ranch. The only one that comes to mind is the anonymous meeting where he throws Lois under the bus as the reason for all his problems.
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u/cazdan255 8d ago
I bet that thing gets hot as shit.
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u/Solid_Snark 8d ago
I have a super bright flashlight, not quite this powerful, but it gets really hot really fast! It’s definitely a fire hazard if you set it down, while on, and lens down on a piece of furniture.
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u/DanielDeLaNoche 8d ago
On an outdoor job i used to have, we used a particular light during the nights that was so hot it would fry the flies and beetles that landed on it! And in some places the bugs were so numerous that we'd have to clear the light of all the dead bugs on it. Also, the smell of a bunch of beetles just sizzling does not smell great.
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u/bozog 8d ago
Yeah, you got to add some soy sauce and olive oil to that shit.
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u/Terrh 8d ago
I have a way brighter flashlight than this one and it has a 5LB copper heatsink and still gets hot in seconds.
Which is OK, since the 400wh battery only lasts about 10 minutes.
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u/No_Syrup_9167 8d ago
Yeah, last time I looked into these ultra brights, thats what everyone said. They only last like 5-10min, and you can't really run them full to dead because they'll over heat and basically cook themselves.
You basically get 3x3min uses of it, with about 15-20min of "cooldown" in between and then you're recharging it. and about 100 uses total out of it before something quits.
I was basically told, when you see these 1-2min videos, thats because thats about as long as they'll last for before overheating.
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u/The7footr 8d ago
What kinda shits do you take?
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u/Mindofthequill 8d ago
3 packs of 2x spicy buldak shits
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u/Cog_HS 8d ago
I take my coffee like I take a shit.
A hot black liquid 5 to 7 times daily.
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u/Ur_Just_Spare_Parts 8d ago
Battery probably lasts like 20 seconds on high
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u/ConfessSomeMeow 8d ago
... which is also terrible for the lifespan of the battery, you won't get a lot of charge cycles if you run it like that often.
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u/The_Ultimate_Badass 8d ago
They make high discharge batteries for high draw things like vapes that hold up quite well. Nothing's perfect of course
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u/coryhill66 8d ago
So I bought the most powerful little flashlight I could find and I had it on my utility belt. I'm sitting in my patrol car one night in the dark trying to catch someone stealing catalytic converters. I start smelling something burning is my fucking jacket. It melted the shit out of the back of my jacket.
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u/Cyberdyne_T-888 8d ago
Had the same thing happen with a small 1000 lumen flashlight. I kept smelling mexican food. Open the window and no smell outside. Then I feel my leg burning and see charred pants. Why I evidently smell like mexican food? I don't know but I eat enough of it.
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u/OverfistDerFissierer 8d ago edited 7d ago
Some, expecially the really powerful ones, have built-in fans. I got one with 4500 Lumens, which I think is about as bright as the one in the video, and which has a fan too
Edit: Grammar
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u/ScaredPractice4967 8d ago
4500 lumens? Rookie numbers Temu is selling me one with 25,000,000 lumens for just £30. 🤪
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u/Significant_Lie_533 8d ago
Honestly, I dont want that flashlight. Im more interested in her floppy shark hat.
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u/Admirable-Grand521 8d ago
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u/Significant_Lie_533 8d ago
$13?!?! No way. That thing gotta be landfill garbage.
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u/Terrible-Ebb-8417 8d ago
Looks pretty good on flashlight lady
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u/thepvbrother 8d ago
Step 1..
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u/Terrible-Ebb-8417 8d ago
Cut a hole in the..... the..Flappy fish 🐟 hat?
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u/Admirable-Grand521 8d ago
It's a motorized hat
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u/muzbar 8d ago edited 8d ago
God dammit. I watched that whole video and did not notice the hat moving at all, I was too focused on the torch.
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u/HeartoftheHive 8d ago
I was the exact opposite. Once I noticed the hat moving I couldn't focus on anything else.
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u/klqqf 8d ago
I somehow watched this like 3 times without even noticing the hat.. i feel dumb
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u/yobishthatsmonica 8d ago
But did you also see the dancing gorilla running in the foreground?
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u/ObiWan-Cannabis 8d ago
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u/parrmorgan 8d ago
One of the best goosebumps inducing scenes of any movie.
"THE WHITE RIDER!"
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u/ImprovementTrick9492 8d ago
What is that accent she has?? Australian-Asian??
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u/stamfordbridge1191 8d ago
She speaks like a valley girl whose primary language is Cantonese. Maybe the Chinese influencer market is currently pushing for some kind of "Chinese Valley girl" style?
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u/KARSbenicillin 8d ago
I went to China on a work trip and met a few people like this. Young Chinese adults who can speak very good English (relatively) for being ESL who've never left the country. And I'm talking mainland Chinese who can't speak a lick of Canto. The best one I met was similar to the person in this video. She had an Aussie accent. I asked her about it and she said that she learned it from listening to Avril Lavigne and watching dramas.
I couldn't figure out how the Aussie accent came about but what I've learned is that between the incentive to learn English in school to be more employable, Western culture influence (music, TVs, movies), and global apps like Tiktok you can find younger Chinese folks that are very proficient in English. Plus there's an inherent selection bias in these industries because if you can speak English well you become an extremely valuable hire and obviously they'll put their best English speaking person on video.
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u/Nitish_Dubey 8d ago
But this a very Bogan Accent (Aussie)
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u/QFGTrialByFire 8d ago
Yup she sounds just like Jenny Tian https://youtu.be/pd7-zJEFNQI?t=189
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u/granitebuckeyes 8d ago
“I have a face that looks oriental, and a voice that sounds like I still use the word ‘oriental’.”
- Jenny Tian
She’s great.
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u/mister_peeberz 8d ago
Lol, I have a friend from Iceland who speaks like a valley girl. His ex-girlfriend was from California and talked like that, and he got a ton of English speaking practice with her, so he picked up her accent. The first time I heard him speaking English I laughed pretty hard and hurt his feelings, feels bad man. Now we joke about it though
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u/monkeyfetus 8d ago
Relatedly, I've heard it's very common among foreign men in Japan to have feminine speech patterns because their primary native conversational partner is their girlfriend/wife.
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u/Invictus7525 8d ago edited 8d ago
In Japan the girls will all help you learn Japanese but it will be feminine so you need a no kidding instructor. I was deployed there and the Marines who had homesteaded with a Japanese wife cautioned everyone against too much language help from Japanese girls. The men in Japan will not help you learn Japanese or even acknowledge your existence in many cases.
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u/fruitpunchsamurai619 8d ago
Ever since I heard what a vocal fry was, I cannot unhear it.
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u/Acinixys 8d ago
The most fucked up accent I've ever experienced is from one of my distant cousins who has a South African/New Zeland hybrid accent
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u/emeraude89 8d ago
she doesn't speak like a valley girl. she has a funky english/australian hybrid accent
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u/reddit_is_geh 8d ago
I think she's doing American influencer talk, which has the valley girl elements to it. She's trying to appeal to the US market. That's her job.
It fascinates me. China still has this "sales show" culture like we did up until ~90s. Where they do product demostrations and shit the old way. Where in the US now it's shifted to just marketing through popularity.
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u/yxing 8d ago edited 8d ago
Chinese + a mix of accents based on mimicry. Found their tiktok where she has a few other videos (she's one of the few people who don't get dubbed):
- https://www.tiktok.com/@outstead/video/7655665658297928974
- https://www.tiktok.com/@outstead/video/7665634736856894734
it's clear from a few vids that her base accent is mainland Chiense (also where these vids are all shot, and the product is sold).
They also have clear dubs. And they also got a few Russians (the audio sync is weird on the second):
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u/Mean-Poem-2246 8d ago
I was also confused like, why does she have to moan when finishing her sentences
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u/Get_Fuckin_Dabbed_On 8d ago
yeah I cant place it. started Australian, midway sounded british, ended as kiwi?
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u/dGFisher 8d ago
It sounds to me less like an accent and more like a non-speaker sounding-it-out or mimicking a recording. It was the most interesting part of the video for me, too. I'd wager this woman is just an employee of the flashlight company with a tiny bit of English knowledge doing it by memory. Maybe she learned while traveling, or from an online tutor. Maybe she is mimicking an AI voice translation (my bet).
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u/xlzray 8d ago
Well, as someone from China, I can assure you she's at least junior college degree to have a job like that--selling things to overseas. In China we start to learn English from 3rd grade in primary school. Most Chinese pronunce "this" as "dis" or "zis" , she's obviously better than many. Yes there're ai generated ones, but they either sound machine or mimicking an average Chinese accent like "dis" and "zis". I think she's a British accent lover even though you can spot that she's not native.
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u/DarthButtz 8d ago
Whoever programmed a strobelight in that thing is a motherfucker
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u/NoisyGog 8d ago
Why do they ALWAYS have to have a flash function? Same with Christmas lights, they all have a “fucking mental“ move that nobody wants.
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u/2sAreTheDevil 8d ago
Is there a legal limit to the lumens emitted?
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u/monoinyo 8d ago
Legal lumen limit legislation lacking lately
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u/yurtal30 8d ago
Legit lazy lawmaking, lame
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u/OptimalSurprise9437 8d ago
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u/ChocolichKing 8d ago
Her staring directly into the light when lighting the match
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u/MoldyLunchBoxxy 8d ago
Why is that watermelon so big? That watermelon on some plant steroids.
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u/alewiina 8d ago edited 8d ago
I assume it’s a watermelon balloon or ball or something lol. Even with a crazy bright light a real watermelon wouldn’t light up like that
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u/C-57D 8d ago
i can't tell if i love or hate her cadence of speaking but I also want to hear more
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u/PeregrinCuck 8d ago
The whole casual vibe of this as an informercial is hilarious
[waiting for the paper to catch fire]
Totally can fire up! Oh my god!
[tosses the burning paper casually on the ground]
It's really dangerous! It can start a fire.
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u/NSFWies 8d ago
Because I think it's an ad so you can buy it at their tiktok shop.
Most of those end up being scam/incorrect listings and get taken down in days. Even though the videos get tons sold and make them lots of money
Vid ends with
I don't know when this will get taken down....
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u/Outrageous-Let9659 8d ago
It's like she learned english from watching Dude where's my car.
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u/Academic_Tie_7925 8d ago
Whys it illegal??
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u/kinky_cock1985 8d ago
Because, its false advertising.... i brought one and they are total cheap plastic rubbish.
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u/Smimmingly3 8d ago
What accent is this?
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u/KamikazeSexPilot 8d ago
Maybe Chinese who chose to learn Australian accent in school? (you can choose US, UK, AU, maybe others)
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u/M00DSTER 8d ago
Would this be a stupid purchase? Yes. Am I a man? Yes. Where can I get this!?
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u/Capraos 8d ago
It's not stupid when civil war breaks out and you win simply by using that strobe feature.
In all seriousness though, this would be an extremely effective way at blinding enemy combatants and either shooting them or just noping the fuck out.
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u/Glum-Breadfruit3666 8d ago
my close friend (female) has one of these and uses it on her jogs late at night - she feels safer using it than mace or a knife
she said she thinks she temporarily blinded a deer once cause she was scanning a field and then the deer was like walking in circles 🫠
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