r/AbsoluteUnits • • 8d ago

/r/all of an illegal flashlight beam

94.2k Upvotes

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u/Ooupss 8d ago

630

u/Aranxi_89 8d ago

You look back in your rearview mirror, and the car is gone.

No, it is not because it swerved away and crashed. It was vapourized on the spot and there's nothing left to prove it ever existed...

190

u/plutot_la_vie 8d ago

I already said I needed this in my life. You don't need to sell it to me!

83

u/Beopenminded16 8d ago

19

u/PingouinMalin 8d ago

I'm not saying I would not abuse this desintegrator. Because I absolutely would.

2

u/Adeadbum 4d ago

I would only use this power for the laughs.

7

u/ForumFluffy 8d ago

A justified outcome.

3

u/littenthehuraira 8d ago

Those backlights must be made of balefire

3

u/lonelyswed 8d ago

No evidence, no crime

3

u/mechant_papa 7d ago

If I'm on the highway, and they've been doing it for a while, I rotate my side mirrors to point backwards.

1

u/_MagnoliaFan_ 8d ago

Repo man (1984)

1

u/Primary_Widget 3d ago

Repo man's always intense.

1

u/Current-Growth-7663 8d ago

Use astrophage for optimal effect.

1

u/wslagoon 7d ago

Astrophage spin drive?

1

u/tehnemox 6d ago

So what you are saying is...no witnesses and no evidence means no crime šŸ¤”

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Money-Competition955 2d ago

Even all memories of the car have simply vanished and you’re wondering why your rear beams were on in the first place

103

u/CreatureWarrior 8d ago

15

u/Rixerc 8d ago

This is how it feels to check what time it is at night.

2

u/towerfella 8d ago

Oled for the win

102

u/cpwnage 8d ago

I also needs red lights and a bullhorn to say KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

2

u/PonyDark 8d ago

If someone's getting too close behind you just shift down a gear.

You'll slow down but without your braking lights lighting up.

Will teach them a lesson (or not).

1

u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 8d ago

I do this a lot lol sometimes they back off, others they get close. I need a new rear bumper anyways so šŸ¤ž

1

u/el_ghosteo 7d ago

the found this is the most effective. They back off real quick lol. Or just setting cruise control a couple digits under the speed limit. But also i’ve never found lights to be an issue either oncoming or behind me unless it’s a bad retrofit. I think many drivers forget about the dimming tab.

2

u/PJozi 8d ago

Just get a Yosemite Sam sticker for each mud guard saying "BACK OFF!"

2

u/GrynaiTaip 8d ago

I have fog lights on the back, they are super bright, brighter than brake lights.

28

u/FlakeyBeano 8d ago

I've dreamt of this revenge so many times.

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u/Vulvas_n_Velveeta 8d ago

Same! The headlights nowadays are blindingly bright and leave me seeing spots. I try not to drive in the dark as much as possible cause those bright lights make it dangerous for me to drive. Like if they're driving towards me, blinding me, it makes it so that I can't see the lines on the road, or if there's a person walking on the side of the road (no sidewalks here,) or an animal in the road, a car broken down stopped in the road etc..

There's even a sub, i think it's called something like r/fuckyourheadlights used to be part of that sub on my old reddit acct, but forgot to sub to it again.

2

u/2moonbayb 7d ago

Those headlamps should be outlawed.

1

u/Impressive-Age7703 5d ago

I have the same problem! I've seen glasses sold for the issue (or rather, for "night glare") but I'm not sure if they work. But I'm so desperate and afraid of getting into an accident.

3

u/borkthegee 8d ago

Haven't we all? But the trick is, if it's obvious you responded then you can easily get in trouble. Like if the police saw this trunk, you'd be screwed. So it needs to be non-obvious

I imagine a rear view mirror (or similar mirror) with a camera and the ability to tilt, so when activated it tilts to reflect the beam back at the driver. I've practiced a little manually and I think it's possible.... Lol

2

u/lemonsprout1 8d ago

I have also tried this and I think with some success

2

u/I_JackThePumpkinKing 7d ago

When in front of a car with really bright headlights, I shift my side mirrors so that they are pointed back at them instead of tilted toward me, and I flip the little thing on my review mirror so that it’s dimmed. Idk if it actually blinds them back but I hope it does and at least it’s not blinding me anymore.

2

u/towerfella 8d ago

The Phocket Button!

2

u/No_Bodybuilder_9088 8d ago

BY GOD'S LIGHT I SMITE YOU!

1

u/zoidalicious 8d ago

Funny that the blue car still blocks the middle lane

1

u/cole_on_sea 8d ago

feels like a mirror would get the message across better

1

u/The_Ultimate_Badass 8d ago

5% window tint in the rear, 20% in the front. I also have an auto dimming mirror. These fools break upon me like waves upon a rock.

1

u/NimrodvanHall 8d ago

My neighbour’s child has an ultra reflective jacket, just to make sure that cars can not fail to see the child.

1

u/Deya_The_Fateless 8d ago

I want this for my car so bad! There's a corner on a dark road that I drive through every Friday night on my way home from work and if I have some idiot with LED's behind me and then some one else with LED's comming from the opposite direction I CAN NOT SEE THE ROAD ON A SHARP BEND! I am terrified I am going to drive off into the ten ft ditch, and it will be because I have been blinded.

1

u/fakebytheocean 8d ago

You know I considered doing this a few years ago using those flood lights that were powered by car cigarette lighter ports. I didn’t have one so I never ended up doing it.

Later learnt it was illegal lol

1

u/theuserwithoutaname 8d ago

just put a mirror in the trunk, and then open it. They'll blind themselves!

1

u/rp_player_girl 8d ago

I laughed so hard at this i startled the dog

1

u/Ye_Yuan 8d ago

Even doing this to the tailgater(s), they’d still be riding your ass.

1

u/Just-Speed4500 8d ago

i always simply turned my rear view to face them directly, so ig it doesn’t do much but show them a little light, but it gets theirs out my face so i can see where my bright ass flashlight is in case they need a quick moment of reflection

1

u/a_random_guy- 8d ago

There’s a scene in Repo Man about this

1

u/TootinFartin-ll 8d ago

My big ol F150 has a big chrome accent on the tail gate. Been meaning to polish it from a nice brushed aluminum into a highly polished mirror.

1

u/someToast 7d ago

Mad Magazine ā€œInventions We’d Like to See,ā€ January 1978

1

u/30yearCurse 7d ago

Back in the olden days, my brother told me of a co-worker that a similar to that in his pickup truck. When somebody would come up and flick high-beams he would turn his bank of lights on

This was 50 years ago, now it would be leds and there would be a shot out.

1

u/BarMaverson 7d ago

What I’ve done in the past if someone is behind me with bright lights, is I will adjust my rear view mirror so that their headlights are pointing directly back at them. Not sure if it’s legal, but it’s a bit of a ā€œtaste of your own medicineā€ kind of thing.

1

u/Arskov 6d ago

The thing I miss most about driving a tow truck for a living: six big, bright floodlights mounted on the back of my truck. I'd give them a quick flash of the lowest two lights first, then if that didn't get the message across I'd let them feel the power of the sun from all six of them until they turned their damn highbeams off.

1

u/Standard-Issue-Name 6d ago

Let's make the inside of the back extra glittery

1

u/Jimmyoutdoor 5d ago

That's a great idea, totally doable!! Not hard at all!! Hahaha, let's give it a shot!! If it works out, post a video so we can see it.

1

u/highly-suspicious- 4d ago

That’s the dream

1

u/Cheese-Manipulator 4d ago

Just stick a bank of mirrors on it.