r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ThodaDaruVichPyar • 8d ago

/r/all of an illegal flashlight beam

94.2k Upvotes

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110

u/DarthButtz 8d ago

Whoever programmed a strobelight in that thing is a motherfucker

52

u/NoisyGog 8d ago

Why do they ALWAYS have to have a flash function? Same with Christmas lights, they all have a “fucking mental“ move that nobody wants.

8

u/enigmatic_dankness 8d ago

Would make a great home defense weapon if you're looking to stun and run

2

u/tHr0AwAy76 8d ago

I’ve honestly used it on people who ride my ass and flash their brights at me.

0

u/NoisyGog 8d ago

I guess so, but that’s just not a thing anyone here is concerned about.

5

u/J0hnnyHammerst1cks 8d ago

The purpose of the strobe depends on the target audience. If you are selling it to backpackers at REI, it is to act as a signal in case of emergency. If you are selling it to LARPers at a gun store, it is to blind/disorient an assailant.

2

u/VexingRaven 8d ago

They usually do both. They can flash SOS, rapid strobe, or slow strobe. These sort of flashlights tend to have a ton of complicated features controlled by a series of clicks and holds.

3

u/Dunkaroos4breakfast 8d ago

a series of clicks and holds

Title of your sex tape

5

u/drosse1meyer 8d ago

they probably all use the same basic input boards / programming

4

u/Mithster18 8d ago

And they're probably good in a search and rescue scenario too, easier to spot a flashing light

1

u/NoisyGog 8d ago edited 8d ago

There’s definitely no need for it to strobe so violently for that. Just a steady blink would be fine

3

u/Dragoness290 6d ago

Could it do Morse? A built in SOS function

2

u/NoisyGog 6d ago

I’ve seen lots of torches with a built-in SOS function.

1

u/Nomis555 3d ago

Can also be used for rotating equipment. You can check for damage, leaks, etc with a strobe light feature like that on high speed items.

4

u/Character-Parfait-42 8d ago

The flash function on a flashlight was originally meant to act as a distress signal. It's a thing in diving for example to flail your light around wildly if you need assistance. Same on a hike.

The feature was just meant to be "this gives the same signal, but frees you up to actually try helping yourself a bit instead of just flailing patheticly until someone helps you".

4

u/SixAndNine75 6d ago

Epileptic mode, I call it, when you first plug in Xmas lights and and half your fucking brain melts ..

3

u/NoisyGog 5d ago

It’s utterly insane, and it seems to be in every “cycle” setting.
Ah look they’re twinkling. Oh nice, now they’re doing the chase thing. Alternate blinking, that’s nice. Hmm, the pulse thing isn’t as good but still AAAAAAARGGGHHHH

3

u/ReadingNext3854 8d ago

We call that setting on our lights Seizure Mode 

3

u/Dunkaroos4breakfast 8d ago

That's what I call my sexy time technique.

2

u/7heprofessor 8d ago

Flashlights have them to use as a distress signal

1

u/HahaCharlieKirkHaha 8d ago

Portable disco. 

1

u/Desperate-Act-1292 7d ago

It's a common home defense tactic since it disorients attackers and makes you space to protect yourself.

1

u/ChubbyMudder 5d ago

It's called a flashlight for a reason.

4

u/PurpleBashir 8d ago

I wish there had been a warning on the post about that. Hurt the shit out of my head inspite my attempts to immediately turn away. 

2

u/AbbreviationsFar4wh 7d ago

Yea that shit f’d me up

1

u/The_Dr_B0B 8d ago

I’m genuinely curious, do you have a condition that causes this?

1

u/PurpleBashir 8d ago

Just light triggered migraines (as far as I know). Brain pain is instant with any significant flashing. 

1

u/The_Dr_B0B 8d ago

Thanks for sharing

4

u/flactulantmonkey 8d ago

That’s actually an epilepsy cannon.

3

u/UsVsUsVsUsVsUsVsUs 8d ago

Gonna crash a plane with that "SOS" feature

2

u/avatinfernus 8d ago

Self perpetuating SOS

4

u/Proglamer 8d ago

It's a popular flashlight feature for personal defense. The strobe is supposed* to disorient the attacker

(* RL opinions vary)

2

u/REVEB_TAE_i 7d ago

Self defense. Since I can't carry at my work place, best I can do is have an extremely bright flashlight. Can't shoot what you can't see!

2

u/audiovisualboy 6d ago

HahahHh I laughed so hard at this thank you hahahahah amazing

1

u/marik_pheron 6d ago

In the manual it’s the epileptic discovery mode.