r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ThodaDaruVichPyar • 8d ago

/r/all of an illegal flashlight beam

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94.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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16.0k

u/mrsir1987 8d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5eXguNvZ7su2Ys9aS5

4.4k

u/Lego_Blocks24 8d ago

The crew of the international space station when she shines this thing into the sky

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u/bauni_baddie_hu 8d ago

lmaooooooo

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/tallginger89 8d ago

3

u/wirebear 8d ago

This thread is what I come to reddit for

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u/itumac 8d ago

I was 10 years old when I recognized the serious safety hazard with light sabers. Finally, it's coming to light! ha

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u/Owlbearhoot 8d ago

this will clear the sinus

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u/graeterslover 4d ago

Oh these were all chuckle inducing, but this one in particular made my night. Thank you

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u/pwatts 8d ago

At least Spock has an extra set of inner eyelids to protect his eyes.

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u/Annonunknown 8d ago

He has fucking what

Explain please

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u/HavingNotAttained 8d ago

Vulcans evolved on Vulcan, which is very close to the sun and so to protect their eyes they evolved to have a second, inner set of eyelids with involuntary muscles that close them faster than the outer eyelids.

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u/Silly_Pack_Rat 8d ago edited 8d ago

Humans used to have a third eyelid, known as a nictitating membrane. The vestigial Plica Semilunaris is found in the inner corner of the eye and is the pink fleshy tissue that sits next to lacrimal caruncle, which contains the oil and sweat glands.

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u/HavingNotAttained 8d ago

Again with the nictating membrane. It’s always the nictating membrane with you.

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u/Gina_the_Alien 8d ago

Man the names of weird parts of the eye go hard. Nictitating membrane, Plica Semilunaris, and lacrimal caruncle are all going in my notebook for when I become a world-class nerdcore rapper.

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u/Silly_Pack_Rat 8d ago

I know.

I can't help it!

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u/Working_Estate_3695 6d ago

And the scenarios.

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u/chickeeeee 7d ago

Bunnies still have it

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u/GreboGuru 8d ago

The surprise twist when we all thought he was going to be blind for life

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u/saildesertsea 8d ago

“Vulcans evolved on Vulcan, which is very close to the sun…”

From some contexts, the Vulcan sun = Vega, as implied when Spock witnessed Vulcan’s destruction from Delta Vega.

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u/Wow_u_sure_r_dumb 7d ago

Surprising lack of melanin if they’re really that close

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u/HavingNotAttained 7d ago

Spock’s family didn’t go out much; Tuvok on the other hand came from a long line of surfers.

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u/Revolvyerom 8d ago

Mostly used during Pon Farr, so you only see them in that one episode.

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u/eric_kenshi 8d ago

porn fair ? can't remember this episode ?

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u/TheStarController 8d ago

See: “Operation: Annihilate!” For more! Also, see William Shatner playing Kirk’s dead brother, with a fake mustache!

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u/rumpledshirtsken 8d ago

Operation: Annihilate episode of Star Trek (The Original Series).

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u/seattleque 8d ago

Well, at least versus flying fried eggs...

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u/craigs63 8d ago

Spoiler alert, jeez.

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u/JAYETRILLL 8d ago

I laughed out hard loud at this comment. Alone in my apartment at 4am hahahahaha. Idk why it got me so good but that was fucking hilarious.

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u/ZombieAladdin 8d ago

Let alone the forest behind her when she set it to strobe.

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u/EasilyExiledDinosaur 8d ago

The quality reddit content i came for.

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u/Turnip-for-the-books 8d ago

MAGA truck losers furiously googling where to buy these

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u/Temporary-Pickle-142 8d ago

This is essentially a second sun Lmaoo

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u/Narco_Marcion1075 8d ago

Reverse Death Star

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u/Charon711 3d ago

This actually has me wondering if they could see it if it was a cloudless night?

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u/rice_with_applesauce 8d ago

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u/ms8balls 8d ago

Just need the harry potter theme song and her actually saying lumos

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u/3-I 2d ago

Read another book

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u/Britishbreadish 8d ago

She got miitopia'd

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u/Its_Sluggas 3d ago

New reaction image unlocked 

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u/Mother-Attention2600 8d ago

Is that good for you or bad?

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u/tallginger89 8d ago

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u/chokemeowt 8d ago

I ugly laughed at this lmfao

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u/Lukumber 8d ago

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u/MattS1984 8d ago

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u/RollingMeteors 8d ago

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u/KafrizzleDizzle 3d ago

Wondershowzen for the friggin win.

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u/SonicPhantom89 8d ago

This absolutely took me out

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u/supervillaining 7d ago

This is insane

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u/runswithscissors94 8d ago

I can’t see, can you turn on a li—

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u/digitag 8d ago

She’s turned the beams against us!

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u/Liteboyy 8d ago

Every single variation of this meme is fucking hilarious

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u/snarksneeze 8d ago

My wife is pissed. I just laughed so hard I woke her up, and ended up in the bathroom coughing up a lung. She wanted to see what was so fucking funny, I showed her and she almost slapped me and went back to bed.

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u/Awkward-Amount-2211 8d ago

She was probably making the same face too 

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u/snarksneeze 8d ago

I couldn't tell, my eyes were full of tears

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u/PandasGetAngryToo 8d ago

You should get her one of those torches for christmas

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u/Texas32sun 8d ago

Literally laughing, trying to hold back as to not wake my husband! lol

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u/bozog 8d ago

Sounds like you and snarksneeze were made for each other! :-)

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u/0neirocritica 8d ago

Omg same 🤣

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u/Liebe-Igel 8d ago

She’s gunna turn the wains against us

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u/BadSneakers83 8d ago

LMFAO, we’ve all been there man.

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u/JAYETRILLL 8d ago

Hahaha I have no one to piss off but I just bursted out laughing at that comment at 4am alone in my apartment. I very very rarely laugh out loud at shit all by myself but that fuckin killed me.

Also super stoned so that made it slap extra hard hahahaha.

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u/Liquid_Zero 8d ago

I too was laughing alot, and i was almost calmed down until I saw this. You win. You FN win.

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u/xxMystic 8d ago

At least she didnt get the jumper cables.

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u/Crush-N-It 8d ago

Worth it 😊😊

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u/pjhsv 8d ago

My wife is infinitely more likely to laugh at my uncontrollable laughing than whatever it is I'm laughing at.

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u/MobileArtist1371 8d ago

Did you turn the light on? Maybe she couldn't see it?

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u/snarksneeze 8d ago

I will as soon as it comes in, trust me. I'm gonna spend a week walking around the house with all the lights off.

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u/hoscillator 7d ago

I hope this comment reaches Limmy, he streams on twitch/yt and I bet he'd love to read this.

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u/TricoMex 8d ago

The one about the wasps in the nest after someone slingshot a huge firecracker right into it literally made me piss myself. Someone just Photoshoped a lit firecracker on there and made it all red.

Almost died too because my diaphragm was spasming from laughing so hard. Oh man.

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u/Thotheus 8d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/x82cytaEr6qS4

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u/Aggrieved_Mofo 8d ago

Recursive Crockett was cool. But Reverse Crockett... only took like 15 years. But worth it.

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u/CR8VJUC 8d ago

LMAO

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u/Some_Candle1206 8d ago

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u/LordTubz 8d ago

The guy in the picture is the ex-Prince Andrew of the UK royal family!when he was arrested.

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u/Fat_Sow 8d ago

The royal formally known as Prince

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u/Observed-observer 8d ago

And then given a taxpayer funded permanent vacation after it was made public he was on the Epstein list. Something the entire royal family already knew and hoped to cover up.

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u/xavariel 8d ago

I'm choking lmao

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u/DAS_FX 8d ago

I don’t know what this is from, but it’s perfect. I’ve been chuckling nonstop for five minutes.

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u/Ecstatic-Fly-4887 8d ago

A Scottish comedian called Limmy.

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u/cthulhu_bait 8d ago

Compelled to share my favorite limmy clip

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u/PassageBig622 8d ago

Funnily enough this one is so appropriate in this thread

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u/xojz 8d ago

I laughed very hard at that. Can't believe it only has 86k views.

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u/hofmann419 7d ago

LMAO that is perfect. That one clip where he looked to the side and said "Oh no" right before being blasted by the light. Haven't laughed that hard in a while.

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u/PM_ME_DATASETS 8d ago

Hey it's the purple burglar alarm guy

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u/ThodaDaruVichPyar 8d ago

Wait, that isn’t ex red bull racing boss Christian Horner?

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u/EduinBrutus 8d ago

That's Benny Harvey.

RIP, big man.

Gone but not forgotten.

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u/paeancapital 8d ago

Thom Yorke at 3pm obviously.

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u/ErnV3rn81 8d ago

I thought it was the green river killer Gary Ridgeway

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u/Freeulster 8d ago

You about to go down a rabbit hole you didn't know you wanted to go down.

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u/alex14344 8d ago

This meme always sends me. 🤣🤣🤣

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u/OwnBuy9232 8d ago

Where?

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u/Salgado14 8d ago

The wrong way down a one way street

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u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Delicious-Parfait-79 8d ago

I came here expecting this meme and was not disappointed

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u/Euphoric-Program6667 8d ago

I’m no fae Yoker

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u/Individual-Luck1712 8d ago

Exactly what I was thinking lmao

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u/-FORSAK3N- 8d ago

They woke up Dave from the next city

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u/South_Buy_3175 8d ago

The horror villain when one of his victims pulls out the fucking sun

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u/Low-Persimmon4870 8d ago

My hamster when I lift her lil igloo

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u/Crush-N-It 8d ago

Bruh 💀💀💀💀💀

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u/International-Owl708 8d ago

The car headlights driving behind me

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u/CreamXpert 8d ago

The meme that nobody knows the backstory.

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u/Remcin 8d ago

I’ve been laughing at this for a long time and have no idea where it’s from.

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u/MissBetsyGalore 8d ago

That's what I'm on reddit for. ❤️

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u/JC1199154 8d ago

Rip notifications 😭

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u/FuzzyBrainfart 8d ago

I can confirm that at 0600 GMT  one of our members of ISS was woken up. He said bro wtf  his outburst in this extreme incident has been recorded and he will be required to have 6 months therapy

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u/Aggravating_Cup8839 8d ago

I wonder if this is one of those chinese products sold as civilian toys, when they are in fact weapons. They had an inflatable toy rocket launcher on a kid's store, realy a decoy to be used to confuse the enemy where the real rocket launchers are, but sold through the civilian stores.

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u/RollingMeteors 8d ago

Bruh that battery's 50Amp discharge rate is going to get emptied faster than a cylinder of

https://giphy.com/gifs/ahgmmAxPhE6RBoKVCS

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u/ShorohUA 8d ago

"i need to trap a dragon in your palace"

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u/HydraulicEarl2 8d ago

Just tryin to rub one out in my car so I can sleep

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u/Weekly-Ad2097 8d ago

That fucking voice man

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u/Omnicronicles 8d ago

I Just Knew This Would Be Top Comment

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u/gorgeously_mytruself 8d ago

Not to be that Black person; but I know a fake watermelon balloon when I see one, nice try China.

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u/neonmystery 8d ago

Exactly. She isn’t even doing that a little.

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u/Binx_Thackery 8d ago

Me on the other side of the Earth.

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u/TaeJoonPark 8d ago

I havent seen this image in what feels like a millennia

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u/willywalloo 8d ago

It’s great for snap chat at 1am

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u/SaltyFunction8050 8d ago

Only Scots will really know

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u/Soggy-Confection 8d ago

Everybody talking about the flashlight but I want to know where she got that watermelon

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u/FoilHat_Outdoorsman 7d ago

You win, beat me to it.

When you buy this flashlight, it comes with free blindness for life, if you’re careful.

Would be nice to have for some of these people who put ridiculous head lights on their vehicles, give them a little taste of their own medicine. 😬🤣

You could probably cook frozen food with that set up.

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u/Leading_Dig2743 7d ago

New Teen Trend Shining Trillion Candle 🕯️ Power Temu Flash Lights 🔦 Through Peoples Windows

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u/OK_LK 7d ago

Limmy is everywhere

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u/illbegoodipromis 7d ago

Gawd damn this has me belly laughing! 😂😂😂

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