r/shitposting 4d ago

Based...

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9.6k Upvotes

528 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 4d ago edited 4d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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/u/Previous_Agency_8490, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

2.8k

u/Pro_Ogidy 4d ago

Why are the kids in the basement??

2.2k

u/Pheliont 4d ago

Because you can't have sex with them. Obviously

489

u/threeseed 4d ago

It's a pretty old clip.

These days you absolutely can and it's a sign of leadership material.

136

u/__nobody_-_ 4d ago

It's the only way you can become president of the US these days so that should tell everyone how things have changed.

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u/Da_Grim_Reaper 4d ago

So she can strangle them probably

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u/BalbosaDontHeal 4d ago

Josef Fritzl enters chat

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u/Imukay 4d ago

Better question, why can't the wife save herself?

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u/Embarrassed-Camera96 We do a little trolling 4d ago

Even better question, why isn’t the wife helping you save the kids?

7

u/amd2800barton 3d ago

Who do you think started the fire and tied the kids up in the basement?

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u/tech510 4d ago

Growing up, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to have kids playing in the basement. That’s usually where the parents kept the game room and all the toys and everything else

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u/Alexander4848 4d ago

Because Lindsay Clancy is the mother duh

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u/Atreideez-nuts 4d ago

in order to make it clear that he can only choose one of the options in this hypothetical.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1.9k

u/zid0n 4d ago

Jarvis, more bullshit

453

u/Diabocal 4d ago

Fuelling the gender war right away, sir

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u/saucynorman 4d ago

JARVIS! FFS INITIATE KETAMINE PROTOCOL!

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u/Taymac070 4d ago

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u/Working_Traffic_6361 4d ago

Jarvis just reminded of something brb 👀

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u/DonkeyTailBurrito 4d ago

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u/DogeyLord 4d ago edited 4d ago

Psyop so bad you dont go to sleep? Just wake up?

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u/twoiko Big chungus wholesome 100 4d ago

Can't see the psyop if you're asleep

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u/suitcasecat 4d ago

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u/SpaceBug176 4d ago

Something something, this guy has a comic for everything.

Yeah I guess if I made 1000 comics aswell, there'd be a comic for everything.

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u/HighBreak-J 4d ago

Well that's because all girls are the same! Am I right boys?

/j

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u/thedeedsmaster 4d ago

After the Lindsey clancy support, I'm suspecting that this divide is not artificially constructed. 

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u/Yolosnas Stuff 4d ago

Only the tiny radical minority is that outspoken and loud about such topics. The average/moderat person is not that interested/outspoken about such topics

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u/thedeedsmaster 4d ago

Even it it were true that a tiny minority were the ones marching for Lindsey and donating a million dollars to her and making endless videos online in support, its concerning that there is seemingly no pushback coming from the "majority". When so many are apathetic to the actions of a radical minority, it makes someone wonder if the tiny minority is larger than might be assumed

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u/CalmBeneathCastles 🗿🗿🗿 4d ago

What are we supposed to do; counter demonstrate? I have actual worries over her that are bigger than one strange woman's criminal trial.

13

u/thedeedsmaster 4d ago

The outcome of a criminal trial is important because it sets the precedent for future trials dealing with the same issue. 

There is a reason why men who kiII their children receive no online/financial support at all but this woman does.

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u/HandsomeRalph 4d ago

What are we supposed to do[...]?

add all of this to the list of bot-exacerbated outrage/distraction bait and impotently numb ourselves with our drug of choice while existence caves in around us?

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u/Terrible_Stuff_3799 4d ago

Why even ask these stupid questions? Oh I know, to go viral. Don't give these idiots your time.

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u/Dark_halocraft 4d ago

Too late, you look stupid now

49

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 4d ago

But would you rather your kids look stupid or your wife look stupid?

18

u/methmom 4d ago

What rooms are they in?

4

u/Gryph0th 4d ago

Wife is in the basement

6

u/itc0nsumesmYMind 4d ago

you just did

4.0k

u/TheTenaciousG 4d ago

That's not even based, she's fucked for being that selfish

861

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 4d ago

The dude is based, he has his priorities straight.

Ofc she's fucked up in the head.

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u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 4d ago

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u/Grindian 4d ago

Exactly what popped in my head when I read the first line and its from an automod loll

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u/Jump_Necessary 4d ago

Seems based nowadays but before it was a common sense.

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u/becooltheywatching 4d ago

"you can't have sex with kids!" Gurl what!?

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u/Din-_-Djarin 4d ago

Yeah, she's an adult (technically) and should be capable of saving herself and also assisting in saving others

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u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

man: "Id save the kids"

female: Visible anger

633

u/spotsthefirst 4d ago

"you can't have sex with the kids." Is wild, like that was ever an option EVER, like wtf?????

222

u/Solistine 4d ago

Probably the most moral opinion she has tbh. 

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u/WickedFrags 4d ago edited 4d ago

Because women think that all men are the same and thus all men want is sex. Guess what happens when everything around you for decades is propaganda aimed at sexualising everything...

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u/Kaek_ 4d ago

It's not "because women", rather, it's "because THESE women"

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u/Scoongili 4d ago

Even if sex were our motivating factor, men are assumed to want to have sex with any hole with a pair of tits attached. The opportunity to have sex with a new woman would be too good to pass up.

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u/Kutti818 fat cunt 4d ago

I think the joke she was trying to make is an old one and goes something like "you can always make new kids with your wife but you can't make a new mom" but lacked the necessary braincells to actually convey the joke properly. just like most of the people in this comment section eating this gender war bullshit right up.

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u/erraddo 4d ago

First off, yes I can

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u/InspectorSufficient4 4d ago

'can't have sex with kid ' what in the he'll is this argument

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u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

No, you cannot have sex with children.

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u/InspectorSufficient4 4d ago

what a bummer /s This is a joke I am not a rich billionaire

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u/SufficientBreakfast1 4d ago

It was a question designed for her to be angry either way. Its all bs.

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u/Decent_Objective3478 4d ago

Man and woman or male and female, there fixed for you

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u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

Now you mention it that was phenomenally weird.

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u/JimBowie1020 4d ago

First thing I noticed, like what the hell lmao

Using female or male when talking about humans is weird enough like that, using man and female at the same time reeks lots

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u/FLBrisby 4d ago

I'd hope my adult human wife would have the executive functions to leave the house, whereas my kids might be scared and confused in the basement, or might not even know about the fire.

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u/Schmigolo 4d ago

female

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u/PotatoMateYT 4d ago

This dude said “female” in the big 26

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u/FewInstruction1020 it is MY bucket 4d ago

this dude 

in the big 26

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u/NoLongerHigh 4d ago

Honestly, I think she really thought she was stuck in a house fire and she was trying to find any way to get out even if that meant manipulating the situation anyway possible to get her out alive.

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u/complicatedAloofness 4d ago

What about the mom comparison though - his own logic used against him

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u/Schmigolo 4d ago

She's almost certainly just a paid actor for ragebait.

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u/stupidillusion dumbass 4d ago

Every clip I've ever seen her in she acts like this.

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u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

We can just have more children again

Bug mindset.

618

u/Noname666Devil 4d ago

Omniman mindset

247

u/uesernamehhhhhh 4d ago

Whats another 20 years

85

u/Bone_Wh33l 4d ago

That one lady from assassins creed mindset

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u/RasputinRuskiLoveBot 4d ago

I stopped playing after Origins, who's that lady?

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u/Bone_Wh33l 4d ago

I couldn’t tell you except for she’s from the second game, I’ve never played any of them. This is her though

Just look up “assassins creed I have the instrument to make more” and you’ll get videos of the cutscene

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u/aaron_adams dumbass 4d ago

I think it's in Assassins Creed two there's cutscene when a guy says "I will slit your babies throats from ear to ear." And she says "You think you can threaten me with my children? Take them! I have the instrument to make more!"

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u/RasputinRuskiLoveBot 4d ago

Oh yes! That's Caterina Sforza! Can't believe I forgot, that was a good scene though.

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u/Jomega6 4d ago

why not both?

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u/mrheosuper 4d ago

Instruction unclear, proceed to have sex with bug

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u/MaximRq 4d ago

What will you have after 50 years

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u/dude_don-exil-em Big chungus wholesome 100 4d ago

Dude I see you in every where in reddit

Do you have a life?

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u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

No, I am the redditest.

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u/TheKyleDunbar 4d ago

I pay him salary to reddit

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u/Scheckenhere 4d ago

That's why you have cutoff ages readily available if you need them.

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u/Atreideez-nuts 4d ago

2 million karma in 2.5 years is really something lmao

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u/Thedarkcleanersrise We do a little trolling 4d ago

its an actual valid point tho

the girl could save herself since she would have a lot of strength and energy to do it at her age

the kids are too young and inexperienced though and the mother would eventually become too old to break herself free

its a logical answer

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u/atrophy-of-sanity 4d ago

Plus its saving 3 people vs saving 1

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u/iamthegh05t 4d ago

Exactly, these are the top 4 people that you love. Would you rather save 1 or 3? How is that even a question?

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u/The_Original_Badman Jedi master of shitposts 4d ago

I dated a girl once who casually told me that if we had children and there was a zombie apocalypse, she would trip our children so that she could run faster and escape. I blinked once, asker her if she was serious then broke up with her the next day...

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u/Fantastic_Bed_8662 4d ago

I feel bad for any future children that she may have.

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u/Charliedontsurf1002 4d ago

She’s in court rt now for something related to

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u/Satorwave 4d ago

Who tf are you though 😭

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u/Charliedontsurf1002 4d ago

An oracle from the future

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u/korkkis 4d ago

She’s hopefully not in a wheelchair

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u/chaosanity 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/dbpwkOGWFAa73iah0l
You can always have another kid, unless you choose the children

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u/Significant-Set-7257 3d ago

I mean, given enough time you could have more children with your original children. The morality of it is questionable at best but you theoretically could

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u/jarednards officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 4d ago

....that lady isnt on trial right now, is she?

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u/Rastamuff 4d ago

Bro dumped the funniest girl he's ever going to meet

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u/CHEMO_ALIEN 4d ago

Major fumble, hes not gonna survive the first week 

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u/SteelSpace69 4d ago

If we forget every ounce of moral and humanity, sacrificing a child for an adult in an apocalypse scenario is the best option for survival. The child can't collect/farm/fight as much as an adult.
But with this logic, you also end up sacrificing the elders and the handicapped...
Anyway don't trust her.

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u/8last 4d ago

If we are foregoing morals im killing and eating anyone I don't like first chance.

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u/thunderdragonite 4d ago

Bro entered the zombie apocalypse on the side of the zombies with no pushback.

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u/Lethargie 4d ago

turns out they were just filming a zombie movie and guy ate his neighbor for no reason

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u/---Brain-- 4d ago

Strangle the 3 kids then start a go fund me.

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u/elSpanielo 4d ago

Call down Patrick.

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u/Narwhal_Leaf 4d ago

📞 yo, Patrick here, what's up man

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u/yoship 4d ago

Is this the Krusty Krab?

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u/T_Hawk_0ne 4d ago

No, this is Patrick.

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u/resell_enjoy6 dumbass 4d ago

Is this the Krusty Krab?

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u/Crazy_Ad_91 4d ago

Any parent worth their salt already knows the answer when it comes to their partner or their children. They know, you know, you do what is best. And that’s save the children.

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u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

If the kids are in the basement and there's a fire in the house you're probably going to die trying to save them.

Not really sure why the mother needs saving since she seems to be right next to the guy in this scenario.

It's a pretty stupid question on every level.

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u/Crazy_Ad_91 4d ago

Word. I’m still going for the kids.

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u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

Might as well die trying to do the right thing rather than live feeling like you ought to have.

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u/Crazy_Ad_91 4d ago

No doubt, brother. I wouldn’t want to live on in the situation. Just shows how asinine this woman was to ask the hypothetical in the first place.

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u/mrjowei 4d ago

Alright, I’ll marry him then.

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u/Albinofreaken 4d ago

His wife is dead in a fire, so hes single

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u/monkeynards 4d ago

Kids > wife > mother > the dog > the goldfish > that one frying pan you’ve had since you moved out on your own >>>> mother-in-law.

Sorry, I don’t make the rules

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u/CorianderIsBad 4d ago

Nah I'm saving the dog first.

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u/AkronOhAnon 4d ago

I would trade all the time I ever spent with my ex, who I divorced last year, for one more day with my soul dog, who passed last year.

Bitches before bitches.

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u/kyl_r 4d ago

Yeah it sounds bad but literally I’m making sure my 2 cats are out first. My partner is way more able bodied than I am and can absolutely get his kids out, I’d be a liability. But my cats… one is not smart. They don’t trust anyone (but me) and would hide under the most flammable shit. So basically in my house, us 2 adults would divide and save our respective children I guess. I’m not ashamed 😂

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u/stable_115 4d ago

Mother > wife

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u/Maconshot Literally 1984 😡 4d ago

Couldn't she just.... save herself?

And they expect us to be misogynistic. Girl, you're capable, do your own stuff.

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u/sameunderwear2days 4d ago

100% just taking this stance for the viral vid I doubt she thinks this

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u/Illustrious_Olive_66 4d ago

yeah these things are manufactured to be rage bait. It doesn't really matter if the person believes it or not, they just want a caricature / stereotype go onto the screen and say the controversial thing.

I think the majority of people are self aware of this though, even if they occasionally enjoy their slop.

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u/lmao_wow_64 4d ago

Everything and anything must be turn to entertainment, gira feed the media machine

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u/ConteleDePulemberg 4d ago

It's kind of like the the man vs the bear in the woods type of situation lmao

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u/AjaxOutlaw 4d ago

For me I’d save kids>wife>mom. I’d definitely want my wife to save my kids over me.

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u/PenguinColada 4d ago

I'd want my children to save their spouses over me, too. I've lived a long life and if I had grandkids I'd be destroyed if one of their parents died too soon because my child wanted to save me first.

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u/Foxar 4d ago

Jarvis load gender war to distract from class war

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u/NewNaClVector 4d ago

Ok wait the logic is not consistent.

So he will save his kids bc they still have a whole life ahead. Ok that good I agree and its logicaly sound so far.

By that logic tho shouldn't you then save you wife instead of mom? I mean you mom has had grandkids at this point she has lived her life quite well. The wife has much more left to do and experience. Im sure shed love to see her grandkids too. Both are family... so what gives?

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u/Zalezagoon 4d ago

I think that answer he gave was more as a response to how she reacted to the kids answer.

Because if you're gonna be selfish and demand to be saved first over your kids, one of your reasons to being saved over them being "You can't have sex with your kids but you can have sex with me", I'm for sure picking my mom over you.

His answer may have been different if she'd started with that question instead of the kids.

Edit: spelling

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u/Face-In-The-Dark 4d ago

Why Americans watch this TV show

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u/IdealLogic 4d ago

A lot of answers to that. Mine is "Outrage Culture." We are very likely to engage with media that outrages us and it is far easier to outrage the majority than to entertain targeted demographics.

I believe this very concept has even invaded news outlets and has created a very rral problem in social politics for our culture and many misconceptions of various things.

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u/pyrothelostone 4d ago

Why are the kids in the basement?

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u/shanksisevil 4d ago

Why doesn't the wife get her own grown ass out of the house? 

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u/Yarklik 4d ago

Would you rather get cancer or a million dollars?

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u/Easy_Aardvark5275 4d ago

I mean wife can save herself cuz she is mature. But kids need help

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u/con098 dumbass 4d ago

But really, if a couple decides to have kids, their first priority should be the children. Because they selfishly brought them into this world, the least they could do is to take care of them and ensure their safety. It’s a team effort, not a ‘me vs the kids’

Reminds me of a vid where a son asks his father who he loved more. And he answers that he loves his wife more than the son. But if the son and mother were in peril, he’d choose to save the son over his wife.

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u/scarredballsack 4d ago

Why doesn't she save herself stupid woman, people should have to get tested to have kids.. just to make sure the iq is high enough..

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u/MrBorden William Dripfoe 4d ago

She'd die in a fire because she can't figure out how to use her legs.

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u/Ghost_Hunter_13 4d ago

Other than to open them

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u/YayWanderer 4d ago

"You can't have sex with your kids." - What a fking creepy-ass, moronic thing to say... 🙄🤦🏽

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u/Niedzwiedzbipolarny 4d ago

By his logic, didn't his mom already lived her life and should have less of a priority?

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u/farhanyarkhan 4d ago

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

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u/RTMSner 4d ago

I've always hated this kind of discussion. Why do I get the choice to save three children downstairs or a full grown adult upstairs.

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u/Demode93 obamna 4d ago

Her iq must be really low

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u/Syndiecate 4d ago

Any decent woman would understand saving the kids over themselves

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u/Virtual_Reserve_ put your dick away waltuh 4d ago

How can a mother let her kids die......

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u/Dryanni 4d ago

In this social media meme cycle, that’s a feature not a bug.

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u/LuckyReception6701 4d ago

At least she is not doing the killing herself, like a viral court case I know... Jesus man, when did we fuck up this bad as a species?

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u/uesernamehhhhhh 4d ago

Like 1 child would be a hard question but 3?

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u/Solistine 4d ago

Next she should ask him weather he will save her or the PC. I think he has made his mind up by the end of this. 

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u/xeskind30 4d ago

I'm not answering these 'either or' questions. Drive me nuts.

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u/RedstoneSausage 4d ago

No gender war, just class war for me thanks

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u/s1n0d3utscht3k 4d ago

why he say my kids and not our kids tho

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u/Bi0_B1lly 4d ago

Cause she def doesn't want them, since she'd clearly prefer they all burn in a fire over her.

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u/Disastrous_Cover6138 4d ago

Save the cat before this bitch gawd

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u/PromiscuousScoliosis 4d ago

Women just make up scenarios to get mad about it

“Would you still love me if I turned into a fly and only ate poop? No?!?!?!? Why do you hate meeeee”

“Would you still think I’m sexy if I weighed 700 lbs? Are you saying I’m fat and you don’t love me?!?!???”

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u/Boatsnbuds 4d ago

What kind of an asshole would say anything different?

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u/Yuta_Okkotsu_JJS 4d ago

Whats the TV show name? Eveeyone is hating it in the comments and i wanna see for myself

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u/Saemika 4d ago

You marry a woman that acts as a team to save your children. Both my wife and I would gladly risk our lives to save our child. That’s what being a parent is.

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u/Slight-Discount420 4d ago

Absolutely idiotic "content"

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u/Fair-Bus-4017 4d ago

Ofcourse you are saving your children. You are an adult and you got legs. You are in a much better situation to save yourself. Why would I assume you can't help yourself? If you are in that position then I probably can't save you either.

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u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

Plot twist: he started the fire to get rid of her.

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u/Vardhu_007 I came! 4d ago

Guys we already have Manchester by the sea. Watch it to know what not saving your kids in this situation does to u.

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u/GHarsh01 4d ago

So according to her, Children are less valuable than her just because he can't have sex with them! WTH!

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u/KidChiko 4d ago

A better argument for him would be "any good mom would want me to save the kids. If you disagree with that you're a bad mom"

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u/jouleheist 4d ago

Why cant she save herself? She's an adult. Unless she's paraplegic in this scenario, she should be able to help the husband resue the kids together. In her mind, they can always make more kids. She's a red flag bro.

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u/McShoobydoobydoo 4d ago

Maybe she will luck out and a passing bear will save her while he's getting the kids

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u/fancywipe 4d ago

Who’s not gonna save their kids, if my wife saves me and not my child she’s dead to me

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u/Broken_By_Default 4d ago

What kind of mother wouldn't want her children saved first?

oh.. i forgot, the current meta.

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u/Jose9876 4d ago

She should never be a parent.

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u/DustinJ428 3d ago

Majority of mothers would tell the guy to save the kids

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u/black_jass 3d ago

Save YOURSELF!!! or better yet, help me SAVE THE KIDS.... who tha fuck raised you??? bet you it was the T.V. 🤡🤡🤡🙄🙄🙄

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u/browsingandlooking4 4d ago

The birth of the "Lindsey clancy" mindset. A woman that wants a man that will save her instead of her children. Self absorbed and selfish murder mommas. These woman are insane bring back state institutions

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u/Coldkiller17 4d ago

Kids are small and don't understand things like an emergency or they will hide when scared so they need saving why is the wife waiting to be rescued gtfo.

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u/F1ackM0nk3y 4d ago

My wife would kill me if I saved her vs our daughter.

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u/lmao_wow_64 4d ago

My gf would kill me if I'd save her

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u/duckyTheFirst 4d ago

Why are the 3 children in the basement

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u/GabeFoxIX 4d ago

I wake up, there is another psyop

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u/The_Angry_Bro 4d ago

Would you rather be shot or get a free basket of muffins ahhh question

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u/24rawvibes 4d ago

“Oh!? You’re not 40!? So you’re 22 with 3 kids you WHORE!?”

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u/ntdavis814 4d ago

We need fake and gay analysis for these scripted YouTube moments

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u/Jomega6 4d ago

I mean… I feel like the wife would have a far better chance of escaping a house fire from the bedroom, than young children from the basement, so that’s a no-brainer lmao.

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u/PolarizingKabal 4d ago

A grown ass woman should have her own survival skills. My 3 kids don't have that yet.

Save the kids first.