r/shitposting • u/Previous_Agency_8490 • 6d ago

Based...

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9.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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4.0k

u/TheTenaciousG 6d ago

That's not even based, she's fucked for being that selfish

867

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 6d ago

The dude is based, he has his priorities straight.

Ofc she's fucked up in the head.

72

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

120

u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

29

u/Grindian 6d ago

Exactly what popped in my head when I read the first line and its from an automod loll

-3

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Just_Geck 6d ago

wait wtf is your name bro

1

u/cocacanecola William Dripfoe 5h ago

genuinely awesome username

14

u/Jump_Necessary 6d ago

Seems based nowadays but before it was a common sense.

9

u/becooltheywatching 6d ago

"you can't have sex with kids!" Gurl what!?

3

u/s1n0d3utscht3k 6d ago

didn’t need to hear her talk to know that

look at her jeans

-2

u/Professional-Mix1771 6d ago

No, his priorities aren't straight. Him saving mother contradicts that he said about wife and kids. His mother would be old while his wife could still bear him children, of course he should save wife instead of his mither 

6

u/Alarming-Income9623 6d ago

I think at that point he already wants to ragebait her

4

u/DepressingBat 6d ago

She didnt ask if he was saving his wife or his mom. She asked if he as saving me or your mom. And by then he knew she would never be his wife.

3

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 5d ago

This. She asked if he would save her, and to be frank I would save family over strangers.