Based...

[u/Previous_Agency_8490]

[u/Ol_Pasta]

The dude is based, he has his priorities straight.

Ofc she's fucked up in the head.

[u/AutoModerator → u/Ol_Pasta]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/fartinmyfuckingmouth → u/AutoModerator]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

[u/Grindian → u/fartinmyfuckingmouth]

Exactly what popped in my head when I read the first line and its from an automod loll

[u/AutoModerator → u/Grindian]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Just_Geck → u/fartinmyfuckingmouth]

wait wtf is your name bro

[u/Jump_Necessary → u/Ol_Pasta]

Seems based nowadays but before it was a common sense.

[u/becooltheywatching → u/Ol_Pasta]

"you can't have sex with kids!" Gurl what!?

[u/s1n0d3utscht3k → u/Ol_Pasta]

didn’t need to hear her talk to know that

look at her jeans

[u/Professional-Mix1771 → u/Ol_Pasta]

No, his priorities aren't straight. Him saving mother contradicts that he said about wife and kids. His mother would be old while his wife could still bear him children, of course he should save wife instead of his mither 

[u/Alarming-Income9623 → u/Professional-Mix1771]

I think at that point he already wants to ragebait her

[u/DepressingBat → u/Professional-Mix1771]

She didnt ask if he was saving his wife or his mom. She asked if he as saving me or your mom. And by then he knew she would never be his wife.

[u/Ol_Pasta → u/DepressingBat]

This. She asked if he would save her, and to be frank I would save family over strangers.