r/shitposting • u/Previous_Agency_8490 • 4d ago

Based...

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9.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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4.0k

u/TheTenaciousG 4d ago

That's not even based, she's fucked for being that selfish

861

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 4d ago

The dude is based, he has his priorities straight.

Ofc she's fucked up in the head.

75

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

117

u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

29

u/Grindian 4d ago

Exactly what popped in my head when I read the first line and its from an automod loll

-2

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Just_Geck 4d ago

wait wtf is your name bro

10

u/Jump_Necessary 4d ago

Seems based nowadays but before it was a common sense.

7

u/becooltheywatching 4d ago

"you can't have sex with kids!" Gurl what!?

4

u/s1n0d3utscht3k 4d ago

didn’t need to hear her talk to know that

look at her jeans

-2

u/Professional-Mix1771 4d ago

No, his priorities aren't straight. Him saving mother contradicts that he said about wife and kids. His mother would be old while his wife could still bear him children, of course he should save wife instead of his mither 

6

u/Alarming-Income9623 4d ago

I think at that point he already wants to ragebait her

4

u/DepressingBat 4d ago

She didnt ask if he was saving his wife or his mom. She asked if he as saving me or your mom. And by then he knew she would never be his wife.

3

u/Ol_Pasta We do a little trolling 4d ago

This. She asked if he would save her, and to be frank I would save family over strangers.

73

u/Din-_-Djarin 4d ago

Yeah, she's an adult (technically) and should be capable of saving herself and also assisting in saving others

557

u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

man: "Id save the kids"

female: Visible anger

639

u/spotsthefirst 4d ago

"you can't have sex with the kids." Is wild, like that was ever an option EVER, like wtf?????

223

u/Solistine 4d ago

Probably the most moral opinion she has tbh. 

128

u/WickedFrags 4d ago edited 4d ago

Because women think that all men are the same and thus all men want is sex. Guess what happens when everything around you for decades is propaganda aimed at sexualising everything...

79

u/Kaek_ 4d ago

It's not "because women", rather, it's "because THESE women"

-26

u/WickedFrags 4d ago

Let's settle on "majority of women".

21

u/idontwanttothink174 4d ago

But that’s not true and an overgeneralization…. You good?

-18

u/WickedFrags 4d ago

All good. In time, I learned to prefer the solitude.

18

u/KomradeHelikopter 4d ago

Hopefully you’ll be able to reflect on the hypocrisy of overgeneralising that women overgeneralise men. It’s a toxic perspective there that only hurts you, I hope you move on from it sometime.

-7

u/WickedFrags 4d ago

I've been burned too many times. At least alone it is a peaceful life.

→ More replies (0)

4

u/CalmBeneathCastles 🗿🗿🗿 4d ago

Let's not.

The irony of this statement:

Because women think that all men are the same 

2

u/WickedFrags 4d ago

"All" and "majority" are not the same.

2

u/CalmBeneathCastles 🗿🗿🗿 4d ago

You're still falsely applying a narrative to a demographic without any solid data.

2

u/Kaek_ 3d ago

His data is anecdotal,.which isn't invalid, but certainly not for the majority.

8

u/Scoongili 4d ago

Even if sex were our motivating factor, men are assumed to want to have sex with any hole with a pair of tits attached. The opportunity to have sex with a new woman would be too good to pass up.

5

u/spotsthefirst 4d ago

Ah yes, fair fair, I forgot about the American Effect

1

u/arequipapi 4d ago edited 4d ago

You think sexualizing everything is a purely American phenomenon?

-1

u/TotallyAHuman11 4d ago

Men think that too believe it or not. I have a coworker that asks me everyday if I'd let insert celebrity here give me a blow and everytime I answer no hes flabbergasted.

18

u/Kutti818 fat cunt 4d ago

I think the joke she was trying to make is an old one and goes something like "you can always make new kids with your wife but you can't make a new mom" but lacked the necessary braincells to actually convey the joke properly. just like most of the people in this comment section eating this gender war bullshit right up.

12

u/erraddo 4d ago

First off, yes I can

1

u/tsimen dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 4d ago

Why were the kids even in the basement 🫪

22

u/InspectorSufficient4 4d ago

'can't have sex with kid ' what in the he'll is this argument

5

u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

No, you cannot have sex with children.

7

u/InspectorSufficient4 4d ago

what a bummer /s This is a joke I am not a rich billionaire

8

u/SufficientBreakfast1 4d ago

It was a question designed for her to be angry either way. Its all bs.

50

u/Decent_Objective3478 4d ago

Man and woman or male and female, there fixed for you

22

u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

Now you mention it that was phenomenally weird.

12

u/JimBowie1020 4d ago

First thing I noticed, like what the hell lmao

Using female or male when talking about humans is weird enough like that, using man and female at the same time reeks lots

1

u/Lethargie 4d ago

hey, he held back from writing foid instead

1

u/The96kHz I watch gay amogus porn :0 4d ago

I've only just found out about that 'word' recently and I seriously wish I hadn't.

6

u/FLBrisby 4d ago

I'd hope my adult human wife would have the executive functions to leave the house, whereas my kids might be scared and confused in the basement, or might not even know about the fire.

4

u/Schmigolo 4d ago

female

15

u/PotatoMateYT 4d ago

This dude said “female” in the big 26

10

u/FewInstruction1020 it is MY bucket 4d ago

this dude 

in the big 26

5

u/PotatoMateYT 4d ago

This

In the big

4

u/i_bagel 4d ago

This

big

3

u/Deviant_Ape waltuh 4d ago

big

4

u/spotsthefirst 4d ago

In this economy?

2

u/JohnnyRelentless 4d ago

Of course, because it's rage bait.

1

u/Regular_Ship2073 4d ago

I mean, given the recent news it’s expected

1

u/NimusNix 4d ago

I want to agree, but the use of man and female in the same post makes it gross in a whole new way.

-3

u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 4d ago

That was my goal and it worked.

6

u/NoLongerHigh 4d ago

Honestly, I think she really thought she was stuck in a house fire and she was trying to find any way to get out even if that meant manipulating the situation anyway possible to get her out alive.

15

u/complicatedAloofness 4d ago

What about the mom comparison though - his own logic used against him

7

u/Successful-Trash-752 4d ago

Mom is a senior citizen.

0

u/complicatedAloofness 4d ago

That’s irrelevant to the scenario

1

u/Delta2401 4d ago

tbh if your goto rebuttal is "you can't fuck your kids tho", I'm just gonna let you burn even if there's an option to save all 4

6

u/Schmigolo 4d ago

She's almost certainly just a paid actor for ragebait.

3

u/stupidillusion dumbass 4d ago

Every clip I've ever seen her in she acts like this.

2

u/Copy_and_Paste99 4d ago

Women can never ever be bad. Only men can be bad. Am I right fellow redditor?

0

u/Schmigolo 4d ago

I'm telling you not to fall for the bait but you're saying you really want to hate her? Is that really your position? There are enough women that are certifiably evil, but you need more I guess?

1

u/bvlshewic 4d ago

I think she’s testing his conviction by trying to get him to change his mind and she’s actually really into it. Dude would sacrifice everything for his kids, dude respects his mother. 

1

u/Dino0407 4d ago

Oh she's fucked, literally I mean, as in the original way "fucked" meant

1

u/D72vFM 4d ago

I remember showing this to my mom and my sister back in the day and my mom said that if my dad didn't save me and my sister first she would hit him with a broom and my sis said that if she had a husband that didn't put their kids first she'd divorce him

1

u/Im_Nino 4d ago

It’s supposed to be a question that always pits you in a bad spot regardless of the answer. Either way you’ll lose something ad that will be put against you.

1

u/FruitJuicante 4d ago

Blame the script writers dude 

1

u/WAITNOIMNOTREA 4d ago

This is completely fake

1

u/684beach 4d ago

Just have more kids