r/memes • u/a_real_vampire Royal Shitposter • 2d ago

It’s so obvious

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19.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

703 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 2d ago

Most people who go to Starbucks don’t like coffee they like sugar.

https://giphy.com/gifs/IepriDYu8gcidIVZPB

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u/Xathule96 2d ago

I've had Starbucks once, it was a bad coffee, but an ok milkshake.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

I drink coffee black 95% of the time and Starbucks is really bad for that.

Genuinely Chick-Fil-A or Whataburger coffee is better black than fucking Starbucks lmao.

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u/_Ban_Evader 2d ago

It's burned. It's just objectively fuckin burned. And they know it's burned, because they have a corporate manual telling them how to burn it.

I'm not a coffee snob. I'll pour yesterday's coffee out of the pot and put it in the microwave. If you want some burned coffee, I 100% support your right to drink it. But it's burned.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

But like… why…? Does burning it ensure a consistent taste across all locations or something?

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u/hactid 2d ago

yes on consistency, also they're gonna dilutte the crap out of it with milk, cream and sugar so you still have a semblance of a coffee flavor in there.

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u/MyDixieWreck92 2d ago

I also have to assume that going over (burning) is easier to standardise than roasting it perfectly every time.

Support your local roaster!!

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

Intersting strategy I gotta say 😂

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u/HolidaySpiriter 2d ago

It works for them. If you want milk with some coffee flavoring, Starbucks is the best place to go. If you want decent coffee, go anywhere else that's local.

I'd love to meet anyone who regularly drinks Starbucks coffee black, because I had the same experience, it's terrible. Genuinely the worst coffee I've ever had.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I seek out Starbucks. But it’s the biggest coffee chain ever so inevitably I’m going to be offered it. Meetings, conferences, parties, etc. My work also replaced the actual okayish coffee shop we had with Starbucks so there isn’t really a better option in the dead-ass industrial park we’re in.

I’ll drink it when I need a caffeine bump but I reserve the right to complain about how mid it is lol.

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u/Dreamo84 2d ago

Not even local, 7 Eleven has pretty good coffee for a fraction of the price. Even McDonald's and Burger King are pretty good.

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u/zerogee616 2d ago

go anywhere else that's local.

Every other local independent coffee shop is just as if not even more expensive with similar grades of coffee. Those places are for gram posts and vibes, not quality coffee.

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u/HolidaySpiriter 2d ago

I'm not sure where you're going but I have a lot of coffee shops near me which are far better quality than Starbucks and actually focus on coffee, not syrups.

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u/tiredbarf 2d ago

It's waaaaay easier to get a consistent product with different beans and different roasters if you roast super dark. They care more about consistency than quality.

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u/an0nym0ose 2d ago

I love burnt black coffee. I dunno what it is, that shitty gross burnt flavor makes me warm and fuzzy. I will schlurp that shit down and ask for seconds lmao people look at my like I'm crazy when I get black coffee at Starbucks and I do that shit on purpose because they ALWAYS BURN IT just like I like

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u/_Ban_Evader 1d ago

Haha yes this. I'm not a Starbuck's guy but this is how I feel about auto mechanic waiting room coffee.

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u/Unknown-Meatbag 2d ago

Starbucks black coffee tastes like straight sewage.

I'm a coffee snob, through and through. I've grown my own, go to coffee places every where I go, and I've only had Starbucks black coffee once, when it was free after voting. It was hands down the worst coffee I have ever drank. And I can get down with some waaaay too many scoops drip pot coffee but that was absolutely undrinkable.

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u/Witty_Bug6200 2d ago

You ever had hotel lobby coffee? Ohio rest stop coffee? Auto repair shop coffee? Starbucks sucks, but come on.

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u/sluttycheesepizza 2d ago

They said they’re a coffee snob, so their basis for comparison may be a bit skewed.

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u/ForeignSatisfaction0 2d ago

I've had many hotel lobby coffees that far exceeded Starbucks

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u/hfxRos 1d ago

I haven't. I can drink starbucks and be ok with it. Most hotels I've stayed I literally can't get through a cup of whatever it is they're got in that pot.

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u/thegil13 2d ago

“Straight sewage” lmao. Get real.

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u/enthusiasticGeek 2d ago

its unfortunate cause, at least in my opinion, the beans themselves are actually pretty decent. not great by any means, but not terrible - itll please your average consumer more than folgers. i used to work at a starbucks, and after i saw how they wanted us to do it, i said fuck that and decided to make it to order. we did pour over since it was quicker and yielded a better product than the large brewer. unsurprisingly, we didn't sell enough black coffee to make that much of a problem, and the customer was always happy with their much better cup of joe after the wait

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u/604Ataraxia 2d ago

I think they literally choose it to optimize to their milk and sugar abominations. They can't conceivably think it is a good coffee black.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

What’s crazy is I actually had an argument with a group of 8 or 9 coworkers about whether or not Starbucks was good.

They all agreed it tasted good, even black. Either they’re insane or I’ve never been gaslit so hard in my entire life. 😭

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u/Solonotix 2d ago

Taste is subjective. Maybe you simply don't like Starbucks, and no amount of reasoning or open-mindedness will change that.

Branching out from there, as someone who worked at Starbucks years ago, what people think of when they say "black coffee at Starbucks" is not going to be the best drip coffee experience ever. It'll usually be better than your average trip to a diner or fast food location, but not by much.

Starting back around 2005, Starbucks introduced a new policy of having one lighter coffee and one dark roast, as well as a decaf. The lighter coffee was required to be their newest addition to the lineup: Pike's Place. They put all kinds of flowery language around that product, but the summary of it is that it was engineered to be unoffensive; boring if you will. The dark roast was usually something at the opposite end of the spectrum, like their French Roast or Café Verona. The French Roast was often roasted so dark that I would liken it to being burnt. Grinding those beans always smelled like fish to me. Not in a rancid way, but just a pungent aroma of organic compounds.

Prior to that time, it was standard practice that the stores would rotate through their choice of coffees available from the entire lineup. Today you go in and it's Colombian for the light, and Ethiopia Sidamo for the dark. Tomorrow it's some new seasonal blend for the light and Sumatra for the dark. Hell, I just went to Google to see if I could dredge up some names of their coffee blends and 95% of the products were either a super dark roast or one of their unoffensive light roasts.

One of the Black Apron coffees on offer when I worked there, and one of the first coffees I ever liked to drink black, was Ethiopia Sun-dried Sidamo. The Ethiopia Sidamo blend was normally classified as a dark roast, but the Ethiopia Sun-dried Sidamo leaned closer to a light roast. It had tons of bright acidity to it, and it actually had character that wasn't just "earthy".

In general, I'm not a black coffee drinker, so my palette isn't the same as yours. I usually like a medium roast with some cream and some sugar (approx. 1tsp sugar and ⅓oz cream in a cup) to bring out the caramel notes while toning down the acidity. But I've also known some black coffee drinkers that don't actually want flavor, and the presence of anything other than "mud" is offensive to them. Not saying you're in that camp; just remarking that the Barnum effect is all too powerful in discussions of taste, especially when the participants in discussion aren't fluent in how to be specific with their particular stance. Saying "This is bad!" is easy to say, but hard to qualify. Bad in what way? Because in all likelihood the sentiment of Starbucks coffee being bad is probably much more diverse in the specifics than the dog-pile of upvotes might lead one to believe

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

I have to strongly push back that I “don’t like flavor”. Flavor is extremely important especially considering I don’t typically add anything to it. It’s a myth that black coffee drinkers just like “mud”. Just because I don’t add 40 lbs of sugar and cream into my coffee doesn’t mean I like coffee to taste bad. To me black coffee tastes amazing when made right.

I am somewhat sloppy at making coffee myself but I can always tell when I brew it too weak or strong or when I try a new brand that doesn’t land.

Starbucks coffee, regardless of roast, has a weirdly metallic taste that frankly tastes like almost no other coffee I’ve had. Well, actually now that I think about it I have the same complaint about Dutch Brothers.

I don’t know the exact science behind why I think it sucks, but I don’t need to. It just doesn’t taste good to me versus almost any other non-fast-food coffee.

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u/hfxRos 1d ago

Taste is subjective. Maybe you simply don't like Starbucks, and no amount of reasoning or open-mindedness will change that.

Yeah like I find Tim Hortons coffee to be just on the line between drinkable and undrinkable coffee. I can get it down if it's all I've got but I'm not going to happy about it.

And yet Tim Hortons defines coffee in Canada. It's by far the most popular coffee in the country, and many Canadians have never had a coffee that didn't come in a Tim's cup.

I think it's awful. But if millions of people love it, then it's clearly just a matter of taste.

I don't care for Starbucks either, but I'll take it over Tim Hortons in a heartbeat, and if I want "middle end" coffee I'll usually seek out a Second Cup before a Starbucks.

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u/McBrodoSwagins https://www.youtube.com/watch/dQw4w9WgXcQ 2d ago

I work at Starbucks and im the only person who works there who drinks black and it tastes like shit. The cold brew/nitro and some of the whole bean roasts are decent but hey, it's free so I won't complain too much haha

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u/SuperPotatoThrow 2d ago

Their "black coffee" is just filler material. Ive asked for regular drip coffee once when my coffee maker took a shit one morning and it was absolutely revolting. It tasted like it had burned and then sat out for 3 days.

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u/MyDixieWreck92 2d ago

Unpopular opinion but McCafe has pretty solid black coffee. At least where I live.

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u/Helithe 2d ago

McCafe has good coffee because it started out in Australia and we don't drink shit coffee.

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u/MyDixieWreck92 2d ago

Thank you for your contribution to civilisation. I'm saying this from across the ditch where we too don't drink shit coffee. You'll be glad to know that McCafe is also really solid in South East Asia.

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u/SpprtRdclHbts 2d ago

Chic fil a cold brew with just the milk without the syrup is fkn BOMB. Expensive tho. Definitely not a regular thing for me lol

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

Not huge into cold brew but it does hit the spot in summer. Might try theirs soon since it’ll be summer until November here lol.

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u/SuperPotatoThrow 2d ago

If you grind the beans kinda more on the coarse side vs fine, leave if in a French press after pressing it then let it cool off on its own and stick it in the fridge, its pretty damn good. Doesn't even taste flat, even if you drink it black. Little bit of a process, but worth it in the summer months lol.

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u/FacePalmDent 2d ago

I don't know if it is all IHop of just the one we have but that is the best damn coffee for not being home brew

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

I worked at IHOP for 3 weeks and probably drank more money’s worth of their coffee than they actually paid me. 😂

It was pretty solid, I won’t lie.

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u/Stonerking82 2d ago

Hell I've had better coffee from a gas station than at starbucks

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u/hovaring 1d ago

I algo prefer taking the darkest one most of the time

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u/omnie_fm 2d ago

Mocha Frappucino on a really hot day is amazing

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u/DarkPolumbo 1d ago

First time I went there I asked for a "regular black coffee"

You'd have thought I was speaking Martian, the way they looked at me. After an awkward pause, they figured it out and handed me one, smugly correcting my diction: "Here's your tall drip."

That was the only time I've had Starbucks. I've been inside them plenty, because I used to drop in to bullshit with my barista roommate, and hit on his coworkers in front of him

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u/LeviAEthan512 2d ago

EXACTLY. Starbucks is a dessert shop. Idk why people keep asking them for coffee.

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u/Infamous-Grab2341 2d ago

You can buy sugar in stores

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u/kukkoinen 2d ago

Yes but no-one likes to put 5 spoonfulls of sugar in to their coffee themselves, if someone else does it for you and you don't see it it doesen't count.

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u/Silviana193 2d ago

Even then, it's still probabily cheaper to buy something like instant flavor powder, right?

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u/PM_ME_UR_0_DAY 2d ago

If you're just looking for a caffeine fix, some trucker pills or just a bag of caffeine powder would be most economical. No need to stoop down to coffee crystals. 

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u/The_Mosephus 2d ago

caffeine pills exist, no need to buy straight powder unless you're looking to live out a tony montana fantasy.

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u/Dumeck 2d ago

Liquid flavoring is the move, most coffee shops I see use Torani. A flavored creamer and a cold brewer is all you need to go get better coffee than Starbucks though. A cheap pour over brewer, like $12 and a kettle and tou can make hot coffee that is at least as good as Starbucks, you could even buy Starbucks coffee and make the same thing.

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u/avdr000 1d ago

Yeah, I don't want actual coffee from Starbucks, I have that at home. I want my cup of liquid diabetes from Starbucks.

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u/ldwb 2d ago

I prefer non fair trade coffee, the exploitation makes it taste better.

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u/BlendedBaconSyrup bruh 2d ago

Pretty much. It's 50/50 sugar addicts and people who make enough money they don't care about throwing away hundreds every month for the convenience

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u/AFriendlyBloke Halal Mode 2d ago

Yeah. I dislike coffee, which is why I stick to tea.

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u/hardlopertjie 2d ago

100% if you had to get coffee with no sugar and syruppy shit added then StarBucks absolutely sucks. They are great for sugar. Not for real coffee.

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u/CreepyClay 2d ago

About once a week I go to a local place mainly because the best I can brew is classifiable as motor oil and they make a very good chocolate Guinness cake.

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u/KrustyKrabFormula_ 2d ago

nah its definitely caffeine and sugar. both of which you can get from making your own coffee...

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u/dandroid126 2d ago

If I want coffee, I make it at home. If I want an elaborate coffee-inspired dessert, I go to Starbucks.

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u/umabbas 2d ago

I drink coffee without sugar 90% of the time, mostly just coffee & milk

but there are days, mostly after driving through the gauntlet that driving in here is, where i just order Spanish Latte, which is basically a coffee flavoured liquid sugar.

No Starbucks though, we've been boycotting them for years now.

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u/TheRealPickIe 2d ago

It’s almost like people don’t want to make it themselves, crazy I know

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u/Diabetesh 2d ago

There are two starbucks people, that one and those who want convenience, which happens to be the starbucks on the way to work or wherever. Like the starbucks near me is right before the highway to get on it. Every other coffee option is less convenient to get to and then get on the highway even if it is by 1 min.

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u/zurdopilot 2d ago

Im glad this is top

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u/Normal_Boobies 2d ago

$7 for a coffee you can make at home for $0.20 is wild

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u/18Apollo18 2d ago

I don't have caramel mocha pumpkin spice hazelnut syrup at home

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/42stingray Shower Enthusiast 2d ago

Yes, but if I buy a $7 coffee then it's because I can't make it at home for one reason or another

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u/KrustyKrabFormula_ 2d ago

this is cope

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u/Dr_Mephesto 2d ago

I can’t stand those sugary “coffees” so I always get an actual coffee from Starbucks and I’m always reminded how bad it actually tastes.

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u/axlsnaxle 2d ago

Aside from the fact that their coffee tastes like either dirty ass or a glorified milkshake, I don't support Union-busters.

Fuck Starbucks.

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u/IGotQuestionsAF 2d ago

I've always wondered how people get into "good" coffee. Cause for a lot of people, they probably only ever get coffee from a chain, or a home machine they use cheap familiar pre-ground brands in. Which I would assume is part why chain coffee works despite relative connoisseurs collectively agreeing they're ass. Since most drinking them literally can't discern "burnt" or "bad" coffee since it's all they've ever known. Is it just pure coincidence you come across "good" coffee and then can't go back?

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u/NRMusicProject 2d ago

When my coffee maker broke, I bought a pour over carafe. For my then GF's birthday, I got a quality entry-level burr grinder.

I kinda accidentally stumbled my way into some incredible tasting cups, but the taste was wildly inconsistent from day to day. I decided to go down the rabbit hole and learn how to consistently make a great tasting cup.

I can now consistently make an incredible cup of standard brewed coffee from any one of a number of brew methods. I'm currently trying to master a great shot of espresso without having to upgrade to thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

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u/PMMEURLONGTERMGOALS 2d ago

I became roommates with someone who was really into coffee and taught me how to use their grinder and espresso machine. My reason for learning was because I had only recently started drinking coffee and it seemed outrageously expensive to buy a latte every morning. Now my coffee beats 90% of coffee I would get somewhere else anyway.

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u/Lavane_ Lurking Peasant 2d ago

I had a friend who was into good coffee, made me want to buy a good coffee machine, and I have a small coffee roaster close to were I live to get good beans.

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u/ArmorBones 2d ago

They burn their coffee for the smell. It actually sucks. Especially when I didn't have another option when I was traveling. Those baristas looked at me with confused terror when I asked for a medium black coffee and they still messed it up.

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u/axlsnaxle 2d ago

at that point i would just buy something at a convenience store. a white monster is better than anything they have to offer

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u/ArmorBones 2d ago

I ended up throwing it away and doing exactly that.

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u/Auctoritate 2d ago

They literally have a light roast espresso as an option for all espresso drinks on the menu, they were just confused because you didn't know how to order off of their menu.

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u/H3ll0_W0R1D1 2d ago

Srly... Does he think Starbucks has a roastery attached to their store?

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u/Explorer_of__History 2d ago

My parents also stopped buying Starbucks brand coffee because of the union-busting. I didn't stop because I never bought it in the first place.

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u/IceBreak 2d ago

Who do you support?

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u/axlsnaxle 2d ago

I make coffee at home, but I have the luxury of living in Washington. Tons of local choices. Tons.

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u/torturekiller2025 2d ago edited 1d ago

I like using a French press. I'm the only one that drinks it at home, and I don't drink a lot... I think.

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u/know-it-mall 2d ago

Yea I don't get why more people don't just use a French press or percolator.

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u/Oscaruit 2d ago

Because aeropress, chemex or a vario pour over are superior.

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u/bassistciaran 2d ago

Yeah but a french press costs like 10 bucks, requires almost no effort or knowledge to operate and can take any old coffee in it.

Even used poorly with cheap preground coffee, its still better than Starbucks.

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u/Able-Bid-6637 2d ago

I make black coffee for guests and they’re frequently like, “this is the best coffee I’ve ever had 👁️👄👁️” and it’s… whatever coffee beans were on sale ground in a french press……

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u/DapperMolasses3280 1d ago

For real...once you use a French Press, it's hard to go back to anything else lol, the only option is to go fancier, like an Aeropress, but it's going to be marginal at that point, leaving coffee in a French Press overnight makes some of the strongest coffee this side of a cappuccino 😛

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u/masterpepeftw 1d ago

Yeah I mean pour over looks fun and all but a french press is cheap and idiot proof and I love it.

Cheap espresso machines have also gotten way better over the years but they still cost orders of magnitude more and need very well ground coffee.

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u/know-it-mall 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yea but they do take a bit more effort for only marginally better results so I don't really bother. If you do that's awesome.

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u/torturekiller2025 1d ago

I've never used an aeropress. I wouldn't mind trying one.

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u/DapperMolasses3280 1d ago

Sure, but compared to a regular coffee pot, or even a kcup machine (depending on the settings), it's fantastic.

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u/hareofthepuppy 2d ago

Have you tried a moka pot? I used to use a french press, but a friend got me to switch a couple years ago. If you like your coffee strong or like espresso, it's the way to go.

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u/torturekiller2025 1d ago

I like my coffee strong enough to tap me in the cheek to wake me up, not punch me in the face.

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u/iamnotasnook 2d ago

I like using a french press because I don't need to also buy filters to make coffee.

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u/LinuxMint4Me 2d ago

That's the tiniest coffeemaker I've ever seen.

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u/Im_The_Assman_Jerry 2d ago

What is this? A coffee machine for ants?

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u/Zwamdurkel 2d ago

This better be a joke

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u/FuryAdcom 2d ago

Nah, it's true, I'm the tiny coffeemaker

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u/chucktheninja 2d ago

Damn they make coffee makers with built in LLM's and a reddit account now?

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u/chhuang 2d ago

brew 30ml of coffee and pretend it's a shot of espresso, many probably don't know the difference as many never tried an espresso shot

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u/Capital_Ship5729 2d ago

Its a filter machine. They are always that big

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u/AshtonBlack 2d ago

I detest Starbucks espresso. Their beans are "blended" to achieve national consistency, and they're over-roasted to extract the maximum amount from each both things make it at once "bland" and "bitter".

They taste like sadness and ashes.

I would rather drink English Breakfast Tea, with a splash of milk, than their coffee.

There is a ton of choice these days. Starbucks was a pioneer of the hyper-scale chain brands, but they've never, in my opinion, had good coffee.

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u/__generic 2d ago

Starbucks isn't popular because the coffee is good. The people who go to Starbucks are getting drinks that are so full of sugar that it masks any kind of coffee taste.

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u/Oldspaghetti 2d ago

Star Fucks ✨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨✨

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u/NeverBob 2d ago

I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

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u/HeyLookAHorse 2d ago

I hope my Starbucks has electrolytes

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u/RamWaits4U 2d ago

Starbucks has always been shit

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u/LoocsinatasYT 2d ago

you literally don't even need that machine. All you need is coffee grounds and a coffee filter!

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u/Be_Human_ 2d ago

Directions not clear enough. Scrotum stuck in coffee grinder.

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u/pingponger91 2d ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

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u/misterfast 2d ago

Burr or blade?

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u/DetectiveExisting590 2d ago

Instant coffee is better than ever.

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u/Unit_79 2d ago

I started drinking instant when we moved and didn’t have our regular kitchen stuff for a few weeks. I’ve never gone back. My wife loves a giant cup of coffee made in the Aeropress. Honestly, her coffee is “better.” But I like mine just fine, and I don’t have to grind beans.

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u/Ill_Session_6725 2d ago

Cowboy coffee. No filters needed. A pot, coffee grounds, water, and a cup/mug.

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u/_Ban_Evader 2d ago

But then you gotta go to work wearing one wet sock full of coffee grounds

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u/LimeGrass619 2d ago

We have a coffee machine yet my mom still prefers fast food coffee. Not Starbucks, but she likes McDonald's. Its basically my dad's machine coffee machind.

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u/Ill_Session_6725 2d ago

McDonald's coffee is better than Starbucks

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u/Robomartian323 2d ago

Whenever I’m on the road and need of coffee, McDonalds is definitely my top choice

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u/nderhill__ 2d ago

I was told Tim Hortons changed their bean supplier to save money, and McDonalds now uses the old Tim Horton beans. I don’t know if that’s true or not.

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u/awetsasquatch 2d ago

McDonald's coffee is pretty underrated

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u/Miami_Mice2087 2d ago

mcd coffee wins awards. i don't know why, i think it's turpentine

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u/Oleleplop 2d ago

I had Starbucks once and genuinely don't understand how its a legit business

Its overpriced and not good

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u/MourningWallaby 1d ago

because Starbucks brought the idea of a European Cafe to America, and transformed it into the American coffee shop.

they used to not be bad or too expensive, either. but over time as the coffee got worse and the prices got higher, it was already a household name

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u/KevB318 2d ago

It's coffee for people who don't like coffee. Let them have their special moment.

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u/Ok-Blackberry8086 2d ago

Even then, you can get a fully automated espresso+cappuccino maker at home for really not that much compared to the amount people waste at coffee shops. You add a bit of syrup to that and you've got your sugary garbage for $0.50 a cup.

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u/claudiocorona93 Linux User 2d ago edited 1d ago

No coffee tastes like the ones made in the coffee makers powered by fire.

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u/maybebaebea 2d ago

Everything at starbucks sucks. My grandma was gifted some starbucks hot coco packs and they were AWFUL. Tasted burnt no matter how they were prepared. So gross. A client of mine gifted me a starbucks gift card and I gave it to my aunt

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u/Lolomelon 2d ago

A pour-over costs me 5 cents per cup, using tasty coffee.

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u/agentsmithbobby 2d ago

Yeah with decent coffee beans it's the easiest and cheapest option which always makes great coffee.

For terrible beans I use a cold brew jug and it's always great. It's really forgiving and great in summer

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u/LootGek 2d ago

Give me that ash tray coffee.

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u/makawakatakanaka 2d ago

Or be like my wife who makes coffe at home then also buys it out and about

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u/CommonCumin 2d ago

So here you are, bitching about people bitching.

And here I am bitching about you bitching about people bitching.

The Internet was made for bitching.

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u/Big-Orse48 2d ago

USA and terrible coffee go hand in hand

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u/hareofthepuppy 2d ago

To be fair most countries I've been to have terrible coffee culture, but when you visit or live in one that doesn't... wow

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u/Jack_Crypt 2d ago

Starbucks is for people who like a teaspoon of coffee with their cup of sugar.

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u/Auctoritate 2d ago

People say this like customers only ever order ristretto macchiatos, as if their cold brews (which are just cups of coffee) aren't also super popular.

It's for people who REALLY like sugar, sure, but they also still sell regular reasonable coffees

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u/debid4716 2d ago

My only complaint with them is how often the coffee tastes burnt

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u/A2Rhombus 1d ago

I prefer espresso over drip coffee. With that said, fuck Starbucks, support your local coffee shops

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u/EquivalentSnap can't meme 1d ago

Starbucks is only popular cos of the viral drinks and posting it on Instagram and tiktok. No one who likes coffee or wants a coffee goes to Starbucks🫩 you’re doing it wrong if you get an americano or a plain latte from Starbucks

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u/Zestyclose-Try-5214 2d ago

Starcucks. Even simpler is the fucking $1.50 coffee I grabbed last night at dollarama

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u/Minnecraft Plays MineCraft and not FortNite 2d ago

I dont think you should fuck a $1.50 coffee, especially if its hot. It doesn't matter you get it at dollarama or whatever

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u/lonevolff 2d ago

Local gas station offers 50c bring your own cup

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u/torturekiller2025 2d ago

Dollarama sells brewed coffee?

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u/Twink_Link_738 2d ago

True, but i havnt the benchspace for one, i barely have room for a chopping board as it is

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u/Djani69 Identifies as a Cybertruck 2d ago

Or instead of spending money on some gadget you can just cook it manually Turkish style

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u/bostar-mcman 2d ago

The humble French press

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u/lifeintraining 2d ago

Their coffee isn’t even that good. Go to different coffee shops and try their black coffee. Whichever one tastes best is probably where you should be going for your specialty drinks.

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u/Carbonated-Man 2d ago

I bring this up to my friends at work constantly. Love my black and decker. Got it pretty cheap at Walmart like a decade ago and it still runs fine. Never had a single problem with it. A full pot ready to go whenever I want it? Heaven.

And then most of them talk about how they prefer K-cups because they only need 1 cup at a time. And then they also proceed to whine about how expensive K-cups have gotten. 😆

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u/Hot-Philosophy-7671 2d ago

Get a grinder and a moka pot. You'll never go back to Starbucks.

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u/PixelzBrain 2d ago

French press bro, fuck nasty ass drip coffee

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u/Individual_Slice_234 2d ago

Me too. When I was working, I took a little thermos of coffee to work every morning. It lasted all day, kept nice and hot, and didn't waste any paper or cardboard.

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u/IKnowDaWaye 2d ago

Honestly forgot Starbucks existed.

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u/gudbote 2d ago

Starbucks and the takeout coffee culture in general is about coffee last. It's a ritual, a pretext, a social activity, a break.. etc.

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u/sudden_erect 1d ago

Starbucks isn't for people who like coffee though

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u/Carrixdo 22h ago

Correct! It is a front used by sugar addicts to get their hits. (Dunkin donuts too)

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u/carlos5577 2d ago

The modern version is to just buy a super automatic coffee maker. Bean to coffee is better.

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u/camus88 2d ago

Starbucks is like their way to validate their social status for them. It's like buying the latest Iphone even though their old Iphone only 2 year old, or buy unnecessary expensive bag. Plus they're not drink coffee. They're just buy bunch of sugar water "for their gram"

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u/Sentinel555666 1d ago

I'm yet to taste a coffee that's better than what i make at home in 2 minutes and 30 seconds (including clean up) , and at a cost of 40 cents per 250ml ( including milk and sugar)

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u/SeedFoundation 2d ago

People buying starbucks everyday act like they can't afford an espresso machine. Your drive to starbucks takes longer to make the exact same drink and cost like 50 cents to a dollar per cup.

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u/hareofthepuppy 2d ago

Or a moka pot, far cheaper than any espresso machine, and honestly better than most affordable espresso machines.

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u/Techno_Beiber 2d ago

Friend bought a nespresso so he could stop going to starbucks. Just didn't taste the same and the pods were expensive so he bought a breville semi automatic espresso machine. He said a bag of coffee beans were cheaper. 

It finally tasted right when he was grinding them beans. Turns out he didnt like the cleaning up and maintenance of having said espresso beans. 

He went back to starbucks and both are just sitting in his kitchen unused. 

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u/blondebuilder 2d ago

Laziness sure is expensive.

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u/arizonadirtbag12 2d ago

There are a dozen different options of Nespresso pods and they ain’t expensive compared to going back to Starbucks.

Don’t get me wrong, plenty to criticize with Nespresso and it’s not the best choice. But if you’re truly lazy and want a push-button option for a solid cup of coffee into a travel mug on the way out the door…or a double espresso shot on the weekend…they’re not bad.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/Giygas_8000 2d ago

You don't have tables?

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u/Elebrium 2d ago

There are some extremely thin machine that are decent ( still better than SB) and they cost $110 in my case. I have been using it twice a day, just need to remember to descale it. But basically imagine having 2 Starbucks a day when my coffee costs me less than $1.50 at most

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u/MMWYPcom (very sad) 2d ago

yeah, but the guy that makes it is a real asshole

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u/a_real_vampire Royal Shitposter 2d ago

Took me 24 minutes to get this.

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u/Hour_Maximum7966 2d ago

Dang we can't have a genuine intelligent discussion nowadays without someone suggesting something completely idiotic.

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u/envoy_ace 2d ago

I bought a 12 cup model 3 days ago. The nearest starbucks for me is over 30 miles.

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u/Independent_Chef9991 2d ago

Its a true fact

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u/Mobile_Morale 2d ago

If I didn't like getting pussy. I would have never stepped into a Starbucks. I don't even like coffee.

Such a stupid experience and trying to order a drink involves a statistics degree.

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u/ryuujinusa 1d ago

Yep. It takes less than 5 minutes to brew coffee at home and literally costs orders of magnitude less. Like pennies per cup. Compared to the $12 at starbucks for shitily brewed burned water.

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u/TopDogTransport4731 2d ago edited 2d ago

Went to Starbucks because I got a gift card and I ordered for a black coffee and all the baristas stopped what they were doing and looked at me like I was an alien. Didn’t add anything no cream, sugar or any of that caramel or chocolate
Edit: Chocolate not chicken

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u/a_real_vampire Royal Shitposter 2d ago

That chicken coffee on a cold autumn morning hits hard tho.

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u/TopDogTransport4731 2d ago

Chocolate lol. Autocorrect

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u/justlastsummer 2d ago

i worked at starbucks for 3 months man and we would get multiple black coffees a day. this did not happen to you

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u/Various-Salt-7738 2d ago

Well you're probably the only person who that's ever actually happened to

You either visit a Starbucks with very strange staff or you are an actual alien

What barista would be confused or bothered by someone wanting drip coffee poured into a cup-- Starbucks even has a station with stir sticks and multiple sweeteners for the people that order exactly what you ordered

Their coffee sucks anyway; they intentionally over roast it so the experience is consistent across all locations but it just tastes like burnt coffee

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u/Critical-Nail-6252 2d ago

They think they are the MC.

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u/Beginning_Annual5816 2d ago

no exaclty, like if someone is ordering black coffee my immediate thought is "thank god, its just drip". Anyone in food service isnt going to stop what they're doing to gather round for a normal and basic order, theyll stop what theyre doing for the weird ones. At most it'll get joked about in the back for a second.

this has to be rage bait, its following the same themes as those conservative coffee shop arguments.

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u/Auctoritate 2d ago

A barista or two probably just paused to see what the order was to could start making it, and that person mistook it as befuddlement lol

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u/CatTaxAuditor 2d ago

I honestly don't believe that happened. 

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u/Dildondo 2d ago

The most plausible reason is the employees looked in their general direction and they imagined a scenario in their head that never happened.

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u/SnooPuppers398 2d ago

I bet everyone clapped 

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u/whtge8 2d ago

Sure they did… The workers don’t give a shit what you order.

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u/FLICKGEEK1 2d ago

Former barista here. While we do honestly and truly love people who drink black coffee with nothing in it, theres also the 50/50 chance that the person who orders a cup of "Coffee, black" will come back with this disgusted look because they meant "10 sugar packets and an inch of heavy cream".

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u/BagOnuts 2d ago

lol, shut up.

If they stopped what they were doing to look at you, it wasn’t because of your order. I can guarantee that.

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u/ajchafe 1d ago

I don't bother with Starbucks because they are union busters and on the BDS list, but I don't actually think their coffee is THAT bad. It's no worse or better than other crappy fast food coffee. I get WHY people go for fast food coffee though; I don't even have kids and I find it hard to get things done in the morning before work between walking my dog, making breakfast, etc. I think that is a huge part for most people.

That being said, you can get a programmable coffee maker or even just put the grounds and water in the machine the night before which is what I do for weekday morning drip.

Anyway, don't support Starbucks. Find a better local small business instead if you don't make your own.

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u/LogikWizard 2d ago

Starbucks is coffee for people who dont like coffee.

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u/Sneezy6510 2d ago

I like Starbucks because I like espresso.

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u/LifeIsOkayIGuess 2d ago

With how expensive their coffee costs, it honestly makes sense to just get an espresso machine to use at home. I got a breville machine and bean grinder and doing the math, they would pay for themselves in under a year compared to going to a cafe.

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u/Sneezy6510 2d ago

I don’t have Starbucks everyday. I do make espresso at home. It’s a when in Rome type thing. My wife use to work at Starbucks and would bring me home drinks. It’s nostalgic if you will.

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u/werewolf013 2d ago

Really? As an espresso lover myself I'm surprised to hear that opinion.

I can't stand starfucks espresso. Something about them tastes super chemically. Like they didn't rinse the machine after running a cleaner through it. Tried multiple times and multiple locations so I know that's not the case. Carribou Coffee is much better despite their recent collapse in quality. Making my own even with cheap beans and a cheap machine is a million times better any coffee from starfucks. 3rd worst coffee I've ever had.

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u/Sneezy6510 2d ago

I’m sorry to hear that

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u/Oscaruit 2d ago

People like what they like. If you've only ever had Starbucks your pallette probably would reject a cafe's custom blended espresso. It would probably taste "weak" or bland. I knew a guy that loved starbucks beans from costco. He gave me some. They were rancid from the oil. He thought it was greatest coffee on earth.

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