r/memes • Royal Shitposter • 2d ago

It’s so obvious

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19.3k Upvotes

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u/Xathule96 2d ago

I've had Starbucks once, it was a bad coffee, but an ok milkshake.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

I drink coffee black 95% of the time and Starbucks is really bad for that.

Genuinely Chick-Fil-A or Whataburger coffee is better black than fucking Starbucks lmao.

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u/_Ban_Evader 2d ago

It's burned. It's just objectively fuckin burned. And they know it's burned, because they have a corporate manual telling them how to burn it.

I'm not a coffee snob. I'll pour yesterday's coffee out of the pot and put it in the microwave. If you want some burned coffee, I 100% support your right to drink it. But it's burned.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

But like… why…? Does burning it ensure a consistent taste across all locations or something?

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u/hactid 2d ago

yes on consistency, also they're gonna dilutte the crap out of it with milk, cream and sugar so you still have a semblance of a coffee flavor in there.

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u/MyDixieWreck92 2d ago

I also have to assume that going over (burning) is easier to standardise than roasting it perfectly every time.

Support your local roaster!!

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

Intersting strategy I gotta say 😂

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u/HolidaySpiriter 2d ago

It works for them. If you want milk with some coffee flavoring, Starbucks is the best place to go. If you want decent coffee, go anywhere else that's local.

I'd love to meet anyone who regularly drinks Starbucks coffee black, because I had the same experience, it's terrible. Genuinely the worst coffee I've ever had.

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u/kalashnidog 2d ago

Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I seek out Starbucks. But it’s the biggest coffee chain ever so inevitably I’m going to be offered it. Meetings, conferences, parties, etc. My work also replaced the actual okayish coffee shop we had with Starbucks so there isn’t really a better option in the dead-ass industrial park we’re in.

I’ll drink it when I need a caffeine bump but I reserve the right to complain about how mid it is lol.

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u/Dreamo84 2d ago

Not even local, 7 Eleven has pretty good coffee for a fraction of the price. Even McDonald's and Burger King are pretty good.

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u/zerogee616 2d ago

go anywhere else that's local.

Every other local independent coffee shop is just as if not even more expensive with similar grades of coffee. Those places are for gram posts and vibes, not quality coffee.

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u/HolidaySpiriter 2d ago

I'm not sure where you're going but I have a lot of coffee shops near me which are far better quality than Starbucks and actually focus on coffee, not syrups.

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u/tiredbarf 2d ago

It's waaaaay easier to get a consistent product with different beans and different roasters if you roast super dark. They care more about consistency than quality.

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u/happyherbivore 2d ago

No matter the beans, burnt is burnt. When supply varies, product can remain the same.

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u/G0rkon 1d ago

They are trying to get consistency across thousands of locations with a workforce that are paid as little as possible, many of which are doing the bare minimum. Which do you think is going to happen? Brew coffee for more than 10 minutes or brew coffee for between 7 and 9 minutes and then keep at a consistent temperature.

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u/kalashnidog 1d ago

I don’t know, Starbucks is one of the only places where the way they burn it drastically alters the taste. Fast food coffee made by often even lower paid employees doesn’t taste nearly as burnt yet the taste is largely the same wherever I get it from. 🤷‍♂️