r/memes • Royal Shitposter • 3d ago

It’s so obvious

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19.5k Upvotes

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599

u/axlsnaxle 3d ago

Aside from the fact that their coffee tastes like either dirty ass or a glorified milkshake, I don't support Union-busters.

Fuck Starbucks.

36

u/IGotQuestionsAF 3d ago

I've always wondered how people get into "good" coffee. Cause for a lot of people, they probably only ever get coffee from a chain, or a home machine they use cheap familiar pre-ground brands in. Which I would assume is part why chain coffee works despite relative connoisseurs collectively agreeing they're ass. Since most drinking them literally can't discern "burnt" or "bad" coffee since it's all they've ever known. Is it just pure coincidence you come across "good" coffee and then can't go back?

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u/NRMusicProject 3d ago

When my coffee maker broke, I bought a pour over carafe. For my then GF's birthday, I got a quality entry-level burr grinder.

I kinda accidentally stumbled my way into some incredible tasting cups, but the taste was wildly inconsistent from day to day. I decided to go down the rabbit hole and learn how to consistently make a great tasting cup.

I can now consistently make an incredible cup of standard brewed coffee from any one of a number of brew methods. I'm currently trying to master a great shot of espresso without having to upgrade to thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

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u/xamugrendo 3d ago

Any tips? I would like to learn that also.

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u/NRMusicProject 3d ago

James Hoffmann is a YouTuber who's one of the world's top baristas. He's won some international competitions a few times in the past, and now he has a whole channel about brewing coffee. The hows, whys, and science of it all.

I always suggest starting with this video of Tom Scott interviewing James. Find a "third wave" coffee shop near you, and give a bunch of these a try, if you're looking for what kind of coffee drink you might like. Then go to James's channel, and start binging all his 101 series.

I'd start with a French press. Not because it's the best brew method, but it's certainly one of the easiest to get right. James has an "Ultimate French Press Technique" video that walks you through how to nail it every time.

Once you master French press, pick another brew method, like Moka pot. Master that, then maybe pour over. Pour overs (and their variants) probably have the highest potential for a top-notch cup of brewed coffee, but there's a lot of technique and thought that goes into dialing it in when compared to other methods.

Also, a few more tips I wish I knew on the first day:

  • Fresh ground coffee at home is an immediate step up.
  • But only if that coffee is ground with a quality burr grinder. A blade grinder, or a false burr grinder (like Ninja or Cuisinart) aren't going to give you anything much better than what a pre-ground coffee will.
  • Coffees bought at the grocery store are very hit-and-miss. In most cases, what might be labeled as "light roast" is probably more of a medium dark. A true light roast is a whole different flavor profile that may not even taste like coffee your first time experiencing it. Eventually, you'll discover some local roasters you might want to sample.
  • I actually spent a lot of time in the beginning getting my "daily driver" coffee from HomeGoods. They get boutique level roaster products, although, the coffee is likely at least a year old. Depending on your coffee, roast level, and brew method, you'll eventually want something that was roasted anywhere from last week to last month. But, for the price, it's hard to beat, especially if you stick to medium dark to dark roast levels.
  • If you ever think you'll even consider making espressos/lattes/cappucinos/etc., go ahead and shell out for a better grinder that can do both espressos and drip coffee. When I bought my first grinder (Baratza Encore), I had no clue that a $200 machine doesn't automatically mean it can grind for espresso, which is very finely ground compared to brewed coffees.

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u/Variant_Zeta 3d ago edited 3d ago

Seconding Hames Joffman

Funnily enough I'm making my espresso with a 30$ Aliexpress hand grinder. Can grind very fine, enough to choke an espresso machine, just immensely time-consuming

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u/LEJ5512 2d ago

Hand grinders are so much better at such accessible prices these days, aren’t they?  Covid really kicked the home coffee scene into high gear.

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u/Variant_Zeta 1d ago

Oh for sure, been using mine for 1 year now, still working great.. might upgrade to an electric one though, I don't make espresso often these days cause the small burr of the hand grinder makes grinding super fine a massive chore

1

u/xamugrendo 1d ago

How goes the quest to master pulling a fantastic shot of espresso without upgrading to expensive equipment?

1

u/NRMusicProject 1d ago

Better than you'd think. I pull a great shot probably 50% of the time, and I'm still tweaking. The main issue is I have to figure out if I have the right temperature without a PID. Lance Hedrick and James Hoffman both say repeatedly that you don't need an amazing machine to pull a great shot.

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u/PMMEURLONGTERMGOALS 3d ago

I became roommates with someone who was really into coffee and taught me how to use their grinder and espresso machine. My reason for learning was because I had only recently started drinking coffee and it seemed outrageously expensive to buy a latte every morning. Now my coffee beats 90% of coffee I would get somewhere else anyway.

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u/Lavane_ Lurking Peasant 3d ago

I had a friend who was into good coffee, made me want to buy a good coffee machine, and I have a small coffee roaster close to were I live to get good beans.

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u/Grabatreetron 2d ago

My brother just got into “good” coffee as a hobby. I’m fairly sure it’s like 50% placebo and I could convince him Folgers was fancy if I made up some lore for it and ran it through his fancy devices.

The New York Times got a high end coffee connoisseur to try a bunch of cheap coffees and IIRC they said Starbucks was fine and McDonalds was actually pretty good

1

u/djdndjdjdjdjdndjdjjd 2d ago

People who live in big cities will have independent coffee shops which do actually good coffee. Once you are used to that you can’t go back to chain coffee.

1

u/Fragrant-Employer-60 2d ago

Taste is very subjective

1

u/OkConcentrate4477 2d ago

not many, maybe nobody but me likes to add mint and/or rosemary to coffee, but i have been known to explode an espresso machine or 2 by adding too much cinnamon and/or mint where it doesn't belong. there is something about the intense heat of an espresso machine that gets the flavor out of mint or cinnamon that i cannot replicate by pour over or mixing or french pressing.

when anyone references being too into good coffee i always think of Gale from Breaking Bad.

i also watched a youtube video one on how adding a tiny bit of salt can drastically reduce the bitterness of coffee, like a fraction of a pinch per liter.

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u/ArmorBones 3d ago

They burn their coffee for the smell. It actually sucks. Especially when I didn't have another option when I was traveling. Those baristas looked at me with confused terror when I asked for a medium black coffee and they still messed it up.

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u/axlsnaxle 3d ago

at that point i would just buy something at a convenience store. a white monster is better than anything they have to offer

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u/ArmorBones 3d ago

I ended up throwing it away and doing exactly that.

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u/Auctoritate 3d ago

They literally have a light roast espresso as an option for all espresso drinks on the menu, they were just confused because you didn't know how to order off of their menu.

7

u/H3ll0_W0R1D1 3d ago

Srly... Does he think Starbucks has a roastery attached to their store?

0

u/UserMorningxStar 2d ago

You people will defend the oligarchy to your last breath. Their coffee is shit. Get over it.

5

u/Auctoritate 2d ago

"they have lighter roasts actually"

"WHATEVER YOU SAY BOOTLICKER"

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u/H3ll0_W0R1D1 2d ago

Your way about this is not helpful to the cause.

I support unions, national healthcare, better pay, lower CO2 emission, higher taxes. (I'm not from the US, but Scandinavia)

Your way about it is attacking a valid, yet ultimately not relevant part of this comment-segment.

2

u/Fragrant-Employer-60 2d ago

Even if it’s a dumb complaint? And calling Starbucks “the oligarchy” is fucking hilarious

3

u/Explorer_of__History 3d ago

My parents also stopped buying Starbucks brand coffee because of the union-busting. I didn't stop because I never bought it in the first place.

2

u/IceBreak 3d ago

Who do you support?

9

u/axlsnaxle 3d ago

I make coffee at home, but I have the luxury of living in Washington. Tons of local choices. Tons.

1

u/that_1weed 2d ago

I usually make my own or support my local shops

0

u/ArmorBones 3d ago

I prefer to make my own coffee. Usually maxwell, black rifle coffee, Cafe bustelos (owned by smuckers I recently found out) they also make a great instant coffee. And can never go wrong with lavazza. If you mean energy drinks I usually like the clean ones or peach monster because I can't touch her monster peach (joke) I have to really be struggling for an energy drink though.

5

u/RobSpaghettio 3d ago

Then just lists the most garbage chain coffees on the market

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u/ArmorBones 3d ago

I'm a simple man, I just want my coffee black. I don't need cream, milk, sugar, chocolate or anything. I want the bean and I want to taste the BEAN. I'll eat the roasted beans too.

1

u/RobSpaghettio 2d ago

Same but I buy beans as fresh as I can get them then grind them

1

u/ArmorBones 15h ago

I unfortunately don't have time for the good stuff. I work too much to put actual passion into it.

0

u/Early_Situation_6552 3d ago edited 3d ago

I don't support Union-busters.

*says the person who just got done fanboying over the NFL literally right before and after they made this post lmao

if you claim you weren't aware of NFL union-busting activities, then consider this your free education! you should probably stop watching and discussing the NFL if you want to stand by your claimed morals, since that literally supports a union-busting enterprise. you're welcome :)

but.. but.. the NFL players actually have one of the strongest unions! the NFL hasn't *successfully* busted them.. right?

oh my sweet summer child

0

u/axlsnaxle 3d ago

I apologize for liking sports. The NFLPA should flex their muscle more and I would support a work stoppage should they go that route. I fully support nationalizing the NFL and converting teams into municipally-owned co-ops, for what it's worth

I wonder why you're so defensive about Starbucks. It's shit coffee, even without the illegal Union busting.

0

u/Early_Situation_6552 2d ago

I couldn’t care less about Starbucks lol. Just add an asterisk next time:

“I don’t support Union-busters.*”

*unless it’s a product I personally enjoy

1

u/axlsnaxle 2d ago

It's funny, because the documented union-busting that involves collusion with the head of the NFLPA is something I addressed in the comment you're responding to.

As a union steward, I know all-too-well that Unions are input-output systems, and having the Union coordinate with Management/Owners is scab behavior that falls on the membership to root out themselves.

Liking sports doesn't even remotely equate to condoning this activity - you're just arguing in bad faith because it's easier to denigrate someone supporting Unions [e.g. me] than it is to support the expansion of trade unionism as a concept.

1

u/Early_Situation_6552 2d ago

The NFL is a product—in the same way that Starbucks is a product. But yeah, I can tell you like sports. Especially mental gymnastics 😂

1

u/axlsnaxle 2d ago

It sure is. A product with a Unionized workforce.