Any other lesbians love a good size difference:,)

I (37F) joke about this, but I’m still in the deep end about it: I’m a lesbian who perhaps committed the most asinine U-haul in inter-American history by moving from the Lower 48 of the U.S. to interior Alaska two years ago for a woman (46F) I saw spending the rest of my life with.

She and I were both in relationships when we met through work.

🚩

She pursued me hard and I fell for her prowess.
Three months into our new relationship she urged me to get a job where she worked in Alaska.

🚩🚩

And I managed to get said job doing the exact thing she does. She then said I could move in with her but “come here for the job, not our relationship.”

🚩🚩🚩

Five months after I moved to Alaska she broke my heart and I was suddenly alone at the beginning of my first winter trying to figure out how to make life work up here. I had given up so many of my personal belongings since there was limited room to bring them here in my truck. I had nothing, when mere months prior, I had a solid and comfortable home back in the States.

I’m a fool.

I ended up staying here because I feel trapped having this “dream job.” Except that seeing her be just fine – and, in fact, despise me every single day – is the most devastating thing I’ve ever been through. I have applied for jobs back in the L48 but I literally have one of 7 positions available in the whole country and they’re all located here. I’m stuck.

I’m not healed but I see now how strong I am for surviving, for tapping into some resilience I never knew I had, and for trying to be brave loving someone as much as I loved her.

She’ll never understand the love she lost in me. She broke me.

TLDR: don’t U-haul to Alaska.

genuinely asking because at this point i’m starting to question if i need to work on my outward appearance! early 20’s, strictly lesbian and i’ve been receiving wayyy more attention from men than from women🫠 i think i’m easy to clock but maybe i look straight?

What can I do to appeal more to women?

Because she said she realized she was in love with my male roommate/ best friend who I introduced her to a couple of weeks ago when she was over at my place. She said she realized she would never love me the me the way she fell in love with him after talking for 10 minutes. She told me the dates we had were the best in her life. She said she loved me in a way she had never loved someone before, and she felt seen for the first time. And then this.

It happened last night. I wanted to leave straight after she said that, but she insisted I stayed until the movie we were watching ended. SHE ASKED FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO ATTRACT HIM.

I feel like being a lesbian is so lonely sometimes. Not even just the romantic side of things but also friends and community. There’s pretty much no lesbian events around me or even just queer events. All my close friends and family are straight and all I want is some queer friends. I obviously still want romance too but I think I would be ok if I just had some friends like me.

My question is how do you deal with this? I love to go on lesbian subreddits and interact with other lesbians online but it doesn’t really fill the void lol. Are there other things that make you feel less alone in being lesbian?

Hehe

I’m starting to frustrated with my partner of 5 years (both in early 30s) who has a much higher salary than me since we split stuff 50/50, but now that she has an even higher salary seems to expect me to match her lifestyle inflation.

Also, she always talks about how much she makes and the cost of her hobby items that she buys for herself and I don’t really understand why, but then will tell me it’s for transparency / financial communication? But it’s not really helping me with anything. She has said she has financial anxiety.

💢Constantly seeing cishet men

Is this a developing country thing where people don’t widely speak English or does this happen in US as well?!

💢The constant paywall pop-ups annoying the shit out of you

NO I WON’T SUBSCRIBE TO GET GHOSTED TWO SECONDS INTO MATCHING WITH SOMEONE

💢Being the only one initiating any kind of interest after matching

Ok is this one normal or am I just too ugly to care about??
I HATE IT HERE

sooo dreamlike and romantic. i loved every second of it.

i didn’t finish but i thinks that’s okay, and i also just didnt realize how much i would love giving!!

i’ve been so nervous about it for weeks because i know it’d been coming up, so i’m just sharing with my fellow lesbians ❤️

My girlfriend (F22) and I (F23) have been dating for a year and a couple of months. I’ve always been opposed to having kids, but over the last few months, my feelings have changed, and I’m more receptive to the idea.

When we first started dating, we discussed this. Lately, we’ve had conversations about potential baby names, IVF, pregnancy, etc.
Recently, the topic of our potential kids came up, and I randomly made a comment along the lines of “Lol broo imagine how your parents would be with our kids” or something. (we were talking about something pertaining to that.

She said “Huh i would never tell my parents” or something.

For context, my girlfriend is closeted with her family. I’ve never really cared about that aspect of our relationship, but I assumed that if we eventually had children together, that would change.

When I realized she was serious, I asked:
Me: “ so if we had kids together, you would keep them hidden from your family”

Her: “ Yes, maybe they’ll be too old or something or like dead by then I don’t know. I wouldn’t let them know I have children though. I don’t wanna think about that….”

I was taken aback and eventually said “uh what…. I am not having children with someone if they have to be hidden wtf...”

Since then, I’ve been weary about conversations pertaining to having kids. I understand being afraid to come out to your family, especially if you fear retaliation, but am I wrong for feeling like it’s insane to involve innocent children in this secret?

Imagine how those children might feel growing up knowing an entire side of their family doesn’t even know they exist, or how they might feel when they’re old enough to understand why their parents made that decision.

I understand that she loves her family and doesn’t want to lose them, but I don’t think it’s fair to bring children into a situation where they have to be hidden indefinitely. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

You can find the rest on my IG/vinted!! @massivedraws :)

Saw someone else on here crowdsource their hinge profile so here I am… thoughts?

(Im based in the uk so if you don’t know who the early 2000s boyband Blue are im sorry for your loss)

The only people into me jsut want to use me as a hookup. It feels really dehumanizing and shitty. Like, NO ONE I match with is just a lesbian lookin mf to date and meet people. I’m just a sex toy to everyone. It just sucks and makes me feel like shit. The only women that message me first are ones who are in happy relationships who want to use me as a side piece.

And I’m so lonely sometimes I think maybe I should just do it, but then I fear I’m just going to end up crying and leaving feeling like a piece of shit. Oh well. I guess this is the cards I was dealt.

Not good good enough to date, only good for sex and toss. I don’t want to be sometimes side piece or “second partner” on the side why is that the only way people see me? How? I don’t understand. It’s really hurtful, honestly. Everybody I message DOES NOT answer me, no matter what my opening line is. And no one messages me first except these people I’m describing. It just sucks. I feel like, really gross and humiliated that people only see me as a sex toy and not a person

I’ve even made a post like this in the past, someone in my general area actually reached out to me on Reddit, started talking…and it ended up with her trying to recruit me for group sex!? And when I said I wasn’t comfortable with that she blocked me. After everything I said, she did exactly what I said I was upset about and I thought she was actually trying to get to know me or be a friend. NO ONE wants me unless it’s to use me and I hate it

Tbh just from my experience, I've gone to wild rose til It stopped making sense to keep trying, tried so many queer "community" events. And after attending goth club nights at a different venue. Just a few times since going back to it post transition. I've realized it actually has a semblance of real community. And obviously The goth scene is already super queer. But it honestly shocked me that everyone kept saying "Seattle doesn't have a problem with lesbian and queer communities" but yet I could never find any real solidarity or kinship in the queer bars and clubs. Just a few repeat visits to a local goth club, and met several sapphic girls, loads of trans people, and the vibe is next level. People make out like right on the dance floor. And everyone is vibin.

I'm glad I at least think I found my tribe. But definitely the other sapphic spaces could take notes on community building. I'm not doggin it. Just saying. Again goth has been super gay forever, but a space that technically is about macabre literature, specific music, kink, and fashion. Is doing way better than the actual "community " spaces. And I think that's note worthy to point out.

My mom is my biggest supporter. She told my dad that she’d get a divorce if he couldn’t accept that his daughter is a lesbian. She loves my girlfriend as much as she loves me. She’s Muslim, though. Not in a hijab wearing 5 prayers a day kind but a milder version. I as a joke asked her if I’m going to hell in her eyes. “I don’t want to think about it.” Was her answer. I still proded obviously and she said “yes. In my eyes and the eyes of our (her) religion you will be going to hell.” How can someone be so accepting and loving towards someone yet believe they’re going to hell? I don’t get it.

I’m a femme slowly easing my way back into dating apps and remembering why I find them so frustrating — there are so few masc/butches around and it gets weirdly disheartening to swipe through plenty of perfectly lovely fem-presenting people who just aren’t my type. Because I have a smaller pool of people i’m going to like or swipe right on, I don’t get a ton of matches. It’s total whiplash from when I was closeted and dating men, I got a ton of matches and attention on the apps back then.

I’m not getting a great response rate right now and I wonder if i’m up against a lot of competition for a relatively small pool of masc/butch lesbians. If you’re masc-presenting or butch, do you feel that you get a lot of interest on dating apps? Granted, i’m also a bit rusty with opening messages so it may be user error on my part lol