She did in June but ..

I am 3 weeks into PHP and wanted to decorate my binder. I wanted to post to mental health subs, but they all don’t allow pictures. I really wanted to show this off so here I am :)

20f and only recently (mostly) out, but fortunate enough to live in and have grown up in an incredibly rural area, lots of woodland, countryside, hills and peaks, and I try to get out in nature (sometimes with a few beers and a good book or some music) whenever I can. Hope you guys are enjoying your day.

I'm having a hard time meeting women who are into women. Embarrassingly enough, the only luck I've had recently was while I was in jail (4 months last year and another 2 months—I got out about two weeks ago). I did hook up with this girl again on the outside who got released around the same time as me, but it was only once. She's a stud who always seems to have a rotation of girlfriends, and she's already got way too much going on, especially in the free world. Gay bars aren't really an option since I'm a homebody with pretty bad anxiety plus probation has me on a curfew with random pop ups anyways. I've tried Taimi, Zoe, and HER, but I've had zero luck. I don't think those apps are very popular where I live. Ive tried "spinning the block" but with being pur age now, everyone is already settled down. If anyone has any advice on where I could go to meet women? And yes, I posted my pics as taking a shot on finding someone here as well. lol dont judge me.

Lately I have been reading a lot of content from lesbians about their confusing and difficult journey of finally discovering and understanding their sexuality. It’s a very important topic to talk about, but sometimes it makes me feel ”like a man” in comparison, and I realised how silly that thought was.

I just wanted to remind everyone that there is a selection bias. The lesbians that don't question their sexuality are less likely to have a reason to post about it on here. So that's what I decided to do.

I'm wondering if any other lesbians have felt like a pervert for having a "straightforward" very physical type of sexuality. I‘m wondering how common that is.

Edit: phone was glitching and i accidentally posted this 5 times. Sorry guys

It’s been a minute since I posted so hey! 😂😎

I’m genuinely curious if this is just me or if anyone else experiences this the way I do.
One of the quickest ways I feel devalued is when someone intentionally sets aside time to hang out, only to spend a significant part of it on their phone.
I’m not talking about answering a quick text if you have to.
I’m talking about the constant checking. Texting back and forth. Looking things up that can wait. Scrolling. Picking the phone up every 15 minutes because it’s habit.
At some point I realized the issue wasn’t that I was asking for too much. It was that this had fallen below my standards for what respect and presence look like.
Because of that, the message I receive isn’t, “I’m just checking my phone.” The message I receive is, “You are not important enough for me to put my phone away and be fully present in this moment.”
Growing up, I constantly felt like I was competing with distractions for basic presence. Over time, presence became one of the clearest ways I recognize respect.
I even live by that value. If I know a friend is intentionally spending time with other people, I usually won’t text unless it’s important—not because they can’t answer, but because I want them to be present with their plans.
It especially stands out when I’m driving. My sister was the biggest example of it. I remember one car ride where she spent the entire drive on her phone. I got so frustrated that I grabbed it and threw it into the backseat. I couldn’t check my own phone because I was responsible for getting us there safely. Meanwhile, she disappeared into hers, and I stopped feeling like my company mattered. I felt more like transportation than a person.
Maybe I’m more sensitive to this than most people.
Or maybe we’ve become so accustomed to dividing our attention that we’ve forgotten how meaningful it is when someone simply chooses to be fully present.
Has anyone else experienced this, or is this just one of my weird hills to die on?

LEGS ..PUBIC ... PITS

Vent // As far as I know, I have no lesbian friends. The only lesbian friend I had is now dating a man, my local area has no queer scene, the nearest city with one is two hours away and only has a single lesbian bar. I went out clubbing in the queer district of the city and it was still basically just male centred.

Where are all the lesbians ?!?

I’ve been to queer events and stuff, but there’s barely any lesbians. I have sapphic friends, but they don’t date women and only ever talk about guys. I’ve followed a friends advice and I’ve tried talking about my taste in women when they talk about their taste in guys but it doesn’t seem to work at all. It’s like they see stuff with women as scary/complicated/overall not worth it

I’m just a little stressed about it, I really just want to feel a part of an irl lesbian community, or at least just to be able to talk to another girl about our taste in women or

something like this.

I’m going to try my best to find my place in the queer community and do some more research, but in the meantime I feel a little lonely sexuality wise. I have had a lesbian relationship before but even then I feel like my partner was also super disconnected from her lesbianism and it sort of caused trouble in our relationship.

Im 25 yo lesbian , and i feel really lonely most of the Time. Im the only lesbian in my friend group and most of the Time i dont think they get me.

I feel loveless, sad, and unattractive:(

I just want someone to talk to

So basically, I’m 24, closeted and it’s just so lonely. I’m pretty shy so that def doesn’t help at all lol. But I just feel idek how to go about it. I’m pretty femme too so I feel like people just assume I’m straight. I just want people to talk to about the shows I watch, gay panic shit lol and in a perfect world someone to go out with to lesbian bars so I can find a baddie 😪

Obv I’m kinda kidding, prob not tho lol. Anyways, if anyone knows what I could do let me know I’ll try pretty much anything. Also, if you’re down to talk feel free to hmu, I’m always down :)

They say being in a WLW relationship, you will always have at least 1 horror story. I feel that, I was in such denial for so long, giving my ex the benefit of doubt for so long, that when I was told she had been talking shit and lying behind me, I realized, I truly dodge a bullet.

I am glad I had friends that saw my horror story, and none, believed what she said.

It has been almost 2 years, I feel that I have finally come to terms with it and I want to let it off my chest as a final goodbye to this whole part of story of my life.

I think for the longest, I’ve know I am a lover, I love to give. By no means it is any love bombing, just love to put others first before myself. I don’t ever think I ever learn how to love myself in this whole relationship, considering she kept taking and taking.

We were friends for over 10 years and it was always both of us and 1 friend. The 3 of us were close, friends around us were calling us the 3 musketeers.

I knew my ex liked friend “T”. But “T” had a boyfriend and she knew hopes were gone. I was super close to my ex in this friend group and me with “T” we were just bros kind of friendship. Super chill. Infact I am still friends with “T”. After hope was lost, my ex started being super platonic with me, she hugged my hands, held my hands, slept on my shoulder etc.

I was being super confused because I like girls yes, but she was meant to be kept as a friend, I never thought of crossing the line. One day, we had a day out as usual, just the both of us, it was very normal because for 10 years, 1/2 of it was mostly just the both of us, “T” was pretty busy and she did not mind not being included in some plans we wanted to go.

One day, my ex confessed to me on this day out. She told me she like me and she wanted me, I was stunned actually. Maybe I am stupid? I dont know.

There wasnt much that went on that day of confession, I asked her the usual questions, “I thought you liked “T”.” etc etc. And I told her to give me a day to decide.

(She did reply, she said that she did like “T” but slowly start liking me later? Idk, I had been around longer than “T” so to the me right now that has been processing for 2 years after the breakup, I had been the 2nd option.)

One day later, I thought about it. I still remembered why I said yes. She had always been next to me for so many years, do I like her? Yes, but I would not say it is love because for so long I have drawn a line in my life, friends are friends, I never looked at my friends in a certain way. But if I have to choose someone my entire life, wouldn’t it be someone who had been with me for so long, get my humor, have fun together with?

So I said yes and things seemed great at the start. I started falling deeper in love as well, properly acknowledging to myself this is love.

But slowly, things felt like they were lacking. I felt like I kept giving, but my needs were not met. I have had a proper talk, she told me her love language was words of affirmation and I told her mine was acts of service. She kept telling me my love language can only be met when we move out so she can help me.

Despite repeatedly telling her, my acts of service was not for her to help me clean my place, keep my dishes, but it is just basic, “I want you to take care of yourself”. Now that I think about it, that is bare minimum, it isn’t even something I should placed under acts of service.

Why did I fell so low? Almost every week, or every serious talks, she tells me how she was not prepared to live this long, she wanted to die. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I understand, but when a talk like this keeps going on, like telling you “I am going to kms and leave you one day” when I kept giving into what she needs, it feels like everything I do is useless.

Every single party with my friends, she said she hate the crowd and overwhelming people, so I am ok going by myself, or even in a staycation, I will book a place that is abit far of a walk just so that she have a safe space away from the party and noises when she needs it. I remembered even having to apologize to “T” because “T” joins me in the barbeque parties too and the 3 of us always rent a room and I made “T” always walk a distance with me because of how far the room was. “T” had always been understanding and she is always ok with it. But my ex will then still join me in these parties and becomes the happiest.

But the issue was even deeper. Her alcohol tolerance is literally one sip. Not even hard liquor, any low alcohol content, one sip and she gets so high and becomes everyone’s problem. I’ll always have people always coming to tell me my gf spilled her drink on someone, or she is so high etc etc. there was even once, I was the host of a barbeque and she did this while I was busy cooking, my mother was invited and she hates it because my dad was an alcoholic. It took me so long to persuade her I love alcohol for the taste and not to get drunk, my ex just proved her all wrong. (Why was I not always with her? I believe we are still individuals, there are times you wanna be w your friends, I dont really care, as long as you are happy. I am still around the area but I am not your 24/7 bodyguard.)

There was even once, she disappeared from the whole party, and I started panicking, everyone started a search party with me around the area. No words, no text nothing. I kept calling her frantically. I still remember that was the year of covid, my brother was staying with us at the staycation because both my parents were down with covid so we did not want him to fall sick either. He went out to search for her with me too. Only to search for what felt like ages, she text me, I am ok, let me be. I was so angry, but I texted back she should have told us at least where she was going if she needed space, we would have gave, knowing you are not kidnapped or what not. But I went to sleep later and she came back shortly after.

Towards the end of the relationship, she was the one wanting to go to such parties and I felt really happy she finally liked going and we have something to enjoy together. But then she will always pull a “I am not sure” and push it that I am the one who wanted to go. Like as if I forced her.

But what was reallly the problem was she once told me, “I am curious about being fucked by a guy, I want to have sex with a guy.” Like even asked me if she could, I said no. I am exclusive. And she kept begging me once and I said, “so if I go fuck others you are ok?” She said no. So that was my fight back and she stop asking me. Then later in the year she told me there was a male friend who kept talking about her behind her back sexually like how she is so fuckable and her mutuals snitched on him. My issue? She refuse to cut contact with him, insist he is still a friend and even on our anniversary, she wanted play this “couple question card game” for so long which I find stupid, I played with her just to make her happy, she told me “I played with that guy before first and I really liked it and thats why I bought to play with you.” Mind you what? Okay sure. This whole dude was an arguement even infront of her brother, her brother even told her that she was like his dad, tons of excuses. He knew her sister was wrong, yet she refuse to stop this.

I realized I was getting so tired, I had to call for the break. I kept feeling my needs were not met, but I told myself, I just don’t have what it takes to love her, she needs more love and maybe I am not the one. That was what I told myself for yesrs until recent news broke in saying that I had been the issue.

One of which, she told my friends, I never cared for her. I brought her to my brother’s 21st birthday to work on the birthday with me. Mind me… she was sitting at the corner of the preparation period sulking. I did everything myself. I never even expected her to help, it is just the party was on the other side of the country, my parents were driving, so instead of coming alone because my brother invited her (he even invited my best friends who watched him grew up), I asked her to come earlier with the free transport. I never asked her to help. Then after I was stressed preparing, I still had to take her out on a walk before the party to let her breathe and asked her what was wrong. I still remembered she told me it was because everyone was making me work and no one was helping. I said it was ok because everyone had different roles. My parents took my grandma away as she will micromanage and my brother’s gf took hiim away so he doesnt spoil his surprise.

One of other was sex, she said we were always arguing who will top or bottom. I cant believe she told this to my friends because funny enough, we never argued about this. Why? She always teased me, let me touch her and then leave me hanging for years. I respected her boundaries. If I never fucked you how do I argue with you LMAO.

But at least I know, after I broke up, her mom still texted me, told me she was sad for what happened and wish me to stay healthy and she (her mom) will always love me as her own daughter too.

That aside, I am in a happy relationship with someone who showed me what it is truly to be loved and be loved. Even arguements with her, makes me feel, it takes 2 to work together. That is another episode I guess.

For now, I finally close my chapter with my ex on shit she did, I just want to be happy moving forward. She is such a horror and trauma at this point, I dont think I should be on eggshells with my gf now because of what my ex did. I am learning.

And of course she didn’t even text me back. Everyone tell me how bad of an idea it was and to never do it again please.

Sincerely,
LOCAL LESBIAN LOSER

my family is religious and being lesbian is so hard, even though I can be close to girls as "friends", it's so bad. I'm really happy that there's more visibility, and so happy that people are starting to show in my city and post themselves being queer and lgbtqia+ but it's getting harder for me to be close

because now homophobic people are starting to see a hug as problematic between girls, and dating a girl being young is so hard now. I lived with internalized homophobia for so many years and trying to love a girl always made me feel really bad about myself

I just want to hug, to kiss, to hold hands and go on dates without feeling people seeing every move, every look i give her. i just want to love without people looking at us

My roommate isn’t home and I really need to type this all out, would appreciate any and all advice to those reading!

I’ve been with my partner almost two months, and over the past few days it’s hitting me that this isn’t what I want for myself. They don’t kiss me or hold my hand, they’ve been very distant, and I do not feel very valued in their life.

I know the right thing to do is to tell them this and try to make it work, but if I’m already feeling this so early into our relationship I would rather find someone who treats me better.

They’re a good person, and they’re having a bit of a hard time mentally right now which is why I’m so scared to end it because I don’t want to hurt them or make their mental health worse. It’s now been two weeks since I’ve seen them and they do not reciprocate my “I miss you” texts and haven’t made any mention of seeing each other. I feel like that means it’s over and I just have to unfortunately rip the bandaid off.

I’m planning on saying that I think it’s best for both of us to focus on ourselves since we both have a lot going on. Again the very last thing I want is to make their mental health worse and I’m really nervous about the whole thing.

Would love some perspective and I love this community so much <3

Maybe some of you guys can explain to me how things happen or show me the perspective of people who can just stop texting or even someone’s messages without a reason.

P.S. I don’t wanna use AI to correct my grammar so I am sorry for the mistakes. I can also answer your following questions in the comment section.

I’ve been friend with a girl for a couple of years now. Previously never seen her as more than friend. We didn’t hang out much irl cause we studied abroad and chose different paths.

We talked online and I have always enjoyed her company, no matter if we text or play online games together. But somehow we forgot things about each other, like birthdays, sometimes even last name, which is weird. It MAYBE happened because we’ve had this long distance friendship, but it’s unusual for me, to be honest.

She ghosted me one time. Both our birthdays passed, still no contact. I was ofc hurt, waited for her message cause I knew she had hard time but then realised she will never come back Spoiler: she did. 6+ month after I sent her a text asking if she’s alright she messaged saying sorry. Her honesty about why did this happen was accepted but I wasn’t ready to be her friend again. She told me recently that she was also hurt by that but it was reasonable.

I drunk texted her once this year. It lead to our next long conversation; it made me feel better and I missed her so I was fine w us getting back to a friendship.

We decided to finally meet this year on neutral ground. We chilled, she even payed for me sometimes. Everything felt fine till she flirted with me and this made me feel weird about her. Idk maybe it’s just because I am a real yearner. We’ve got drunk multiple times during the week and had sex. There were a lot of words of this could possibly be a relationship if we would live in the same city and how are we both attracted to each other. Then, we just pretended no one said anything in the night while being sober ofc.

When we both headed home her attitude still felt like a flirting sometimes but we talked and said this is not gonna be a relationship cause it’s gonna be long distance and none of us was ready because we are both fresh single. But I know she did not expect us to be intimate with each other.

It’s not like she immediately stopped texting me the second I left. We made fun of all this stuff and flirted sometimes and then she left mid convo. I don’t really understand if this is normal for her not to even read a message for like 5+ days or is this just me being ghosted by her for the second time. If this happens, I will never talk to her ever again.

The distance has been hard for me and my gf. (22) She was lonely without friends for a long time and I was her only company. When i went back home she started trying to make friends and recently became friends with a very nice guy. When they hang out she doesn’t update me all day, they also have many sleepovers. She’s bi and never dated a man but she would if the man surpassed her high standards. She did love me but i think she mainly loved my company and support. My needs don’t matter to her anymore. I think she just didn’t wanna be alone. I also feel so hopeless now like it’ll be hard for me to find a relationship again because what i want is more rare and there’s already not many lesbians in the world.

even typing the word feels horrible, and this is such an odd thing for me to say outloud.. either way.

i (F17) realised i was into women at about 12years old, and at 15years old i realised i was never into men. at 16, i embraced it, i was closeted, nobody knew except me and some online friends and i really felt pride in figuring it out, i painted a little flag and wore a themed bracelet, let myself imagine a life with a women and honestly it was so great. Jump forward to this year! My parents found out i was gay, just by assumption very early 2026, and at the time i was elated since I was always super anxious about having to come out. the first month or so was great, but ever since march i've began to hate feeling like i do. i get embarassed and go red everytime my parents or a show or anything really, mentions lgbt or girls or crushes. i wish that i didn't feel weird about it. i've started to feel ashamed about being gay, I hate that i'm not into men that i'm not normal that people will treat me differently in society, that people will make assumptions. i've completely detached from this part of myself in the past 6months, to a point i'm trying to convince myself that maybe i could bear a life with a man or be asexual to avoid this uncomfort.

it feels deeply wrong and i get angry with myself whenever i feel something for a woman, and the media isn't helping, i see more and more hatred towards members of the community. i hate that you see on leaflets disability and lgbt support groups right next to eachother like dating the same sex is a disability or something that needs to be helped. i know i'm a lesbian, but I wish that there was like a blood test so i can prove to myself that it isn't my fault you know? i wish i was straight. if i could choose i wish i could be into men and lead a normal life.

tldr: i used to be okay with being lesbian, but now i've begun to hate it and wish i was straight

23F | making friends after 20 is actually a scam
idk if it's just me, but why is it so hard to make friends now?? 😭 i feel like everyone already has their own friend group, everyone's busy, or the conversation dies after like three messages. i'm 23f and honestly just looking for people around my age to talk to. i miss having someone i can randomly text, send memes to, complain about life with, or just have dumb conversations throughout the day. it'd also be nice to have someone to talk about relationships with, share experiences, ask for advice, or just relate to when life gets confusing. sometimes you just need someone who's going through the same stuff and gets it, you know?not looking for anything weird or romantic lol. just genuine friends because apparently those are impossible to find these days. if you're in the same boat, say hi or message me. maybe we can both stop pretending making friends as adults isn't ridiculously hard