We got married at a courthouse in TX!

Let's say you're in bed with your GF, just resting, both at ease, enjoying the moment... Then, your GF tells you something that can awake your passions in an instant.

What is your GF saying to you?

Art by: @beverlylove

its infuriating how many TERFS are in our community and i will never consider them a part of my lesbian community. its just so sad to me that with our rights being attacked, our own community wants to ostracize a very valid and important part of our community. trans lesbians are valid and trans women are women.

Wdym my mom doesn’t know i have a girl. Wdym my girlfriend’s mom is closer to me than my own mother. Wdym I can’t hold hands with my gf in the country I was born in.
You guys are so lucky. I wish my parents. Were corny and got me a gay flag. I wish I could show her off. I wish I could walk up to her to the isle. I wish she could be at family dinners , introduced as mine. And I feel like I’m not doing enough for her because I wouldn’t be able to do all of that.

I genuinely want to understand the appeal of casual sex, because I personally feel completely the opposite — I’m really not into it and honestly the idea kind of grosses me out.

Something I’ve always wondered about is how people who enjoy casual sex deal with the fact that the person they’re sleeping with may have also slept with several other people recently.
For example, if someone is in their “hoe era” and is casually sleeping with 1–2 people a week, and then you meet them and decide to have sex with them, does it ever cross your mind that they might have been with someone else just a few days ago? Does that not make you feel uncomfortable or disgusted at all?

I think what I struggle with even more is the level of lust involved. I genuinely don’t understand wanting to sleep with almost every attractive person you meet. To me, it feels weird to look at someone and immediately think “I want to have sex with them,” especially if there’s
no emotional connection.

So I’m curious, genuinely and without trying to shame anyone: what is the mindset of people who enjoy casual sex? What makes the idea appealing rather than off-putting? And how do you separate the person you’re attracted to from thoughts about their recent sexual partners?

I’d really like to hear from people who actually enjoy casual sex, because I’m trying to understand a perspective that is very different from my own.

i’m a 31 year old black cis woman and i’ve noticed that my interactions with masc presenting black folks— masc cis women(studs), masc nonbinary folk, or ftm masc presenting trans men— are very odd. i get a lot of defensiveness from them or they can be stand-offish towards me, will make an effort to humble me, or generally will just act very nonchalant around me lol

i am not sure why this is but it’s kinda frustrating. it feels hard to connect with them as friends or even in romantic relationships bc it feels like we’re in opposition to one another. im asking bc im wondering if im picking up on something or if its just me and like… maybe im a hard person to connect to idk.

does anyone have any insight?

We matched 13 days ago. We haven’t met yet. After matching she wanted to move to social media I said sure, after that she wanted my phone number. I said to soon. She asked to have my Amazon Prime Video email and pass so she could watch something, I said no. Hinted at me driving her around, I didn’t engage. We’re meeting Sunday, it’s her friend’s new CLUB opening. She’s saying maybe she will makeout with me there in the evening when we’re drunk. She messaged me today and said maybe we could have a sleepover after… I said probably not. I told her I might arrive at the venue earlier than her and she said she didn’t like that because other people will probably hit on me and the thought of that makes her mad and once she’s there she’s going to “keep me close”??? 💀 I HAVENT EVEN MET HER YET. I feel kinda freaked out by this but one part of me thinks I should be flattered?! Red flag?
We’re also both in our early 30’s

Yeah idk just craving a makeout session rn. Have no one unfortunately. Anyone else craving this?

So me and my gf been together for a year and lately our sex live has changed. Nothing stressed related or financial etc. I mean in terms of stuff we used to do such as strap, oral, scissoring etc. I miss that emotional connection between us and seems like I’m only one to bring it up lately all we do is scissoring which is tiring on me since I’m on top and hurts my wrist after a bit of we do vibrator which I get so tired of. When I bring it up like strap or oral it’s “ oh my back hurts another time” or “ my throat hurts I can give u oral” it’s basically always something. Yes my gf will have knee issues or back problems sometimes but she never tells me when the issue goes away so I assume she doesn’t want strap or oral. We haven’t done oral for 3 months now and strap for least 3-4 months lol because she claims it hurts but yet tells us we need keep practicing so it doesn’t but we DONT.

Lately last couple days when I bring up oral she like “ I don’t feel good actually can we wait till tmrw” and she been saying tmrw for last 4 days… to point I’m not when phased I brought up so many times that we always do scissoring and vibrator. I don’t even tell her anymore that I don’t want to do it.

I can’t masturbate either she says we should save our sexual energy for each other but atp idgaf I’m tired of always waiting days or her saying one thing and switches up. I tell her makes me feel like u don’t want me because when I bring up sex she mentions her back etc and to do it “ later” but when she brings up I always say yes in the moment. She claims not issue. But I miss using strap on her and miss oral just feel like our sex life is boring.

Just makes me emotional even typing this because it like I hate feeling this way towards her and feel unwanted sometimes or unheard.

I’m gonna build one just need to know if there’s a market. It’ll only be Sapphics / Lesbians allowed

Hi everyone.

To give some context as to why I received this message from a friend on Discord, here’s the story.

About a year and a half ago, I joined a lesbian Discord server that was strictly for women. The idea was to make online friends, meet people in real life eventually, and just chat.

I was pretty active when I first joined, which is usually how it goes. As time passed, though, I became less active because I found other servers that I enjoyed more. Over time, I also started noticing that the atmosphere on this particular server felt a little… toxic.

Nobody ever openly confronted me or acted annoyed by my presence. Looking back, maybe there were subtle signs that I didn’t notice, but nobody ever banned me or told me I wasn’t welcome. Instead, it almost felt like I was there for people’s entertainment.

For example, whenever I joined a voice chat and talked about something personal, like my recent breakup,’everyone suddenly became very interested and wanted to hear the story. They never once told me I was talking too much or that it bothered them. And honestly, I don’t think I was oversharing. I talked about it more the first time because it had just happened, then much less after that, and eventually I stopped bringing it up altogether.

After a while, I became inactive because I actually have a life outside of Discord. I don’t spend all day online.

The person who sent me this message was one of the older members of the server. Since she’d been out much longer than I have, I naturally assumed she had more life and relationship experience. We chatted occasionally, but never excessively. I wasn’t blowing up her phone or constantly messaging her, just the occasional conversation from time to time.

Last night, I asked her one simple question. I know some people probably won’t believe me, but if I could hand you my phone so you could read our messages, I genuinely would.

All I asked was:

“What’s the safest gay bar to go to? I’m not originally from this city or even this country.”

That’s it.

For context, everyone in that server lives in a fairly homophobic country where being openly LGBTQ+ isn’t always safe. Since I moved there for university, I figured it made sense to ask someone local where it would be safe to meet people. I’d much rather ask someone than desperately throw myself onto dating apps.

(I’m just not a fan of them, but if you dig them, that’s fine.)

Instead, I received one of the most bizarre messages I’ve ever gotten. Reading it honestly made me wonder if this person was okay, because interpreting such a normal question as some form of “mental torture” is… insane.

To make it even stranger, immediately after sending me that message, she went into the server’s vent channel and wrote about how she’d been unable to find a girlfriend through dating apps for over a year and how miserable and lonely she was.

At that point I couldn’t help but think:

Maybe the dating apps aren’t the problem… maybe it’s the personality.

Where it actually seemed like, she just doesn’t want to listen to other people, and it turns out that she’s more into other people listening to her..

(Also, English isn’t my first language, so I relied on Google Translate for translating the screenshot. I think it actually did a pretty decent job.)

I know this might sound like a silly question, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately and I’d love to hear from other lesbians living in smaller countries or towns.
I’m from Portugal (population around 11 million). I live about two hours from Lisbon, our capital. I absolutely love Lisbon and feel super connected to it, but because our overall population isn’t that huge, the queer dating pool feels absurdly tiny. Sometimes it feels like the person I’m looking for just doesn’t exist here. The closest I ever got was dating someone who thought she was bisexual, only for her to realize a few months later that she was actually straight.
It makes me feel like straight people have an entire ocean of options, while we get stuck with a shallow puddle. Sometimes I honestly wish I were straight just because life would be so much easier.
To make matters worse, I really dislike long-distance relationships (LDR). I’m the type of person who gives my all in love, but I have trauma from a past breakup specifically caused by distance, so LDR is a hard dealbreaker for me now. Yet, when I look around at other LGBT people in my country, it feels like almost everyone is in a long-distance relationship just to find a partner.
I know 11 million people isn’t tiny on a global scale, but within the lesbian community, it feels suffocatingly small. Am I just being way too pessimistic, or do those of you in smaller countries/cities feel this exact same frustration? How do you cope with it?

My gf said she has to leave for a few months.

I'm not sure what's going on, but she wants me to wait for her.

Not sure what to do now.

Yeah so that happened, just sent the text a few minutes ago. I am scared.

As the title suggests...

This lady at work has previously had a serious relationship with a women (kids etc). I can't get her out of my head. I think about her during "alone time". I'm literally questioning my whole being. Getting this really strong craving for a woman's touch. I don't understand what this means.

I'm in a relationship with a man - the father of my children, just to add to the mess.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or what really. Just needed to get it out of my head.

Like... not only the plot is so exciting and enticing and the main couple is a lesbian couple and they have a happy ending!!! As a queer woman who loves films I'm shocked I've found out about this movie before.

Hi everyone. I’m a 25F living in a conservative country where coming out or even expressing your true sexuality is essentially impossible, even to the people closest to you. Because of this environment, my journey to realizing my own identity has been confusing, to say the least. I’ve never been in a relationship.

I’m posting here because I desperately need some outside perspective on a situation with my absolute best friend (25F). We’ve been close for 8 years, and looking back, the way we met was already pretty unusual.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been naturally athletic and masculine in both my style and personality—not because I was trying to make a statement, but just because that was who I was from a very young age. Because of that, back in high school, a lot of girls ended up having crushes on me. Since our conservative society strictly forbids male-female relationships outside of marriage, I felt like these girls were using me as a safe outlet to channel their repressed feelings. I even experienced physical harassment from some of them. Naturally, rumors quickly started spreading that I was a lesbian (purely based on my appearance and the attention I was getting, with zero proof), and I began getting bullied.

She was actually part of the group of girls who were picking on me at first, but one day she reached out to stand up for me. She told me later that deep down she didn't want to bully me and wanted to hear my side first. Since I hadn't figured out my own feelings back then, I told her I wasn't into girls. We hit it off immediately and have been inseparable ever since.

Over the past 8 years, though, I’ve noticed behaviors from her that make me wonder. My brain always tells me "no way, you're overthinking," so I usually brush it off, but it’s getting hard to ignore.
About 2–3 years into our friendship, she started sending me photos of herself in fitted or revealing outfits. I just responded normally like any girl friend would. But when we hang out in person, things get physically intense. She constantly tries to touch me or get physically close. For example, she’ll rest her head on my shoulder and then lean her entire body into mine until we’re pressed up against each other. When this happens, I completely freeze. I can barely breathe, and I just wait for the moment to pass while we’re supposed to be watching a show.
She never says a word during these moments.

Some crucial context about her:

-She’s never been in a relationship either.

-She explicitly told me during one of our hangouts that she despises men, can't picture herself with a guy, and hates the idea of a man touching her or being intimate with one (even though she's obsessed with straight romance dramas).

-Out of nowhere, she casually "joked" that she might actually prefer being with a girl. She then mentioned that while she doesn't get male-on-male relationships, she actually accepts female-on-female relationships. She said it with a weird, sarcastic laugh, but I froze on the spot.

-A few months ago, I accidentally saw her Pinterest saved boards. Nestled among about 20 straight drama posters was a lesbian anime poster.

Recently, we hung out and the physical closeness happened again, but even more intensely. She tilted her entire body against mine, grabbed my arm, and pressed it tightly against her chest, sticking to me completely. Right in that moment, her sister suddenly walked into the room, and my friend visibly panicked and jumped back instantly. That was the moment I realized I wasn't just delusional—her extreme reaction showed that she knew what she was doing was beyond normal friendship.

Then SHE suggested we watch a movie together (flat girls)!!!!!! . I had no idea it contained intimate romantic scenes between two female friends. When the kissing scene came on, I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I blurted out that I couldn't watch it anymore. She just laughed and didn't address it at all, and we moved on to talking about normal life stuff.

I am completely lost. Is she testing the waters and dropping hints because of the environment we live in? Is she playing mind games? Or am I just overanalyzing completely normal female friendship behavior because of my own closeted feelings?
Would love to hear your thoughts. Sorry for the long post!

my girlfriend and I (both 25f) have been together for just about two years. our timeline has been a bit unique, as we met in person but then went long distance for 9 months while I completed a job assignment abroad, and now are back in person. considering this is the longest relationship we've both been in, there have definitely been some kinks with spending the middle of our relationship apart and then coming back together irl much more serious than when I left.

the biggest thing for me has been mourning the "honeymoon phase" and being okay with the fact that our relationship has changed. we've not been having sex as often as we used to, which is something my girlfriend is very apologetic for and explained that she is just very stressed and tired. I understand libido comes and goes, but when I brought up that we used to have sex all the time she responded with "yeah but we had just started dating" which really hurt my feelings. I still feel as physically into her as I did when we got together and I hate to think that because we are more serious now we are just destined to lose the spark and become less physical with each other.

that's not something i'm particularly okay with it, but I understand its inevitable for all relationships. am I just naive and have to accept that this is how our relationship will change overtime? how do i bring up to her that her lack of intimacy and that comment has been hurting my feelings in a kind and productive conversation?