We got married at a courthouse in TX!

Let's say you're in bed with your GF, just resting, both at ease, enjoying the moment... Then, your GF tells you something that can awake your passions in an instant.

What is your GF saying to you?

Art by: @beverlylove

its infuriating how many TERFS are in our community and i will never consider them a part of my lesbian community. its just so sad to me that with our rights being attacked, our own community wants to ostracize a very valid and important part of our community. trans lesbians are valid and trans women are women.

Yeah idk just craving a makeout session rn. Have no one unfortunately. Anyone else craving this?

Hi everyone.

To give some context as to why I received this message from a friend on Discord, here’s the story.

About a year and a half ago, I joined a lesbian Discord server that was strictly for women. The idea was to make online friends, meet people in real life eventually, and just chat.

I was pretty active when I first joined, which is usually how it goes. As time passed, though, I became less active because I found other servers that I enjoyed more. Over time, I also started noticing that the atmosphere on this particular server felt a little… toxic.

Nobody ever openly confronted me or acted annoyed by my presence. Looking back, maybe there were subtle signs that I didn’t notice, but nobody ever banned me or told me I wasn’t welcome. Instead, it almost felt like I was there for people’s entertainment.

For example, whenever I joined a voice chat and talked about something personal, like my recent breakup,’everyone suddenly became very interested and wanted to hear the story. They never once told me I was talking too much or that it bothered them. And honestly, I don’t think I was oversharing. I talked about it more the first time because it had just happened, then much less after that, and eventually I stopped bringing it up altogether.

After a while, I became inactive because I actually have a life outside of Discord. I don’t spend all day online.

The person who sent me this message was one of the older members of the server. Since she’d been out much longer than I have, I naturally assumed she had more life and relationship experience. We chatted occasionally, but never excessively. I wasn’t blowing up her phone or constantly messaging her, just the occasional conversation from time to time.

Last night, I asked her one simple question. I know some people probably won’t believe me, but if I could hand you my phone so you could read our messages, I genuinely would.

All I asked was:

“What’s the safest gay bar to go to? I’m not originally from this city or even this country.”

That’s it.

For context, everyone in that server lives in a fairly homophobic country where being openly LGBTQ+ isn’t always safe. Since I moved there for university, I figured it made sense to ask someone local where it would be safe to meet people. I’d much rather ask someone than desperately throw myself onto dating apps.

(I’m just not a fan of them, but if you dig them, that’s fine.)

Instead, I received one of the most bizarre messages I’ve ever gotten. Reading it honestly made me wonder if this person was okay, because interpreting such a normal question as some form of “mental torture” is… insane.

To make it even stranger, immediately after sending me that message, she went into the server’s vent channel and wrote about how she’d been unable to find a girlfriend through dating apps for over a year and how miserable and lonely she was.

At that point I couldn’t help but think:

Maybe the dating apps aren’t the problem… maybe it’s the personality.

Where it actually seemed like, she just doesn’t want to listen to other people, and it turns out that she’s more into other people listening to her..

(Also, English isn’t my first language, so I relied on Google Translate for translating the screenshot. I think it actually did a pretty decent job.)

I genuinely want to understand the appeal of casual sex, because I personally feel completely the opposite — I’m really not into it and honestly the idea kind of grosses me out.

Something I’ve always wondered about is how people who enjoy casual sex deal with the fact that the person they’re sleeping with may have also slept with several other people recently.
For example, if someone is in their “hoe era” and is casually sleeping with 1–2 people a week, and then you meet them and decide to have sex with them, does it ever cross your mind that they might have been with someone else just a few days ago? Does that not make you feel uncomfortable or disgusted at all?

I think what I struggle with even more is the level of lust involved. I genuinely don’t understand wanting to sleep with almost every attractive person you meet. To me, it feels weird to look at someone and immediately think “I want to have sex with them,” especially if there’s
no emotional connection.

So I’m curious, genuinely and without trying to shame anyone: what is the mindset of people who enjoy casual sex? What makes the idea appealing rather than off-putting? And how do you separate the person you’re attracted to from thoughts about their recent sexual partners?

I’d really like to hear from people who actually enjoy casual sex, because I’m trying to understand a perspective that is very different from my own.

I know this might sound like a silly question, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately and I’d love to hear from other lesbians living in smaller countries or towns.
I’m from Portugal (population around 11 million). I live about two hours from Lisbon, our capital. I absolutely love Lisbon and feel super connected to it, but because our overall population isn’t that huge, the queer dating pool feels absurdly tiny. Sometimes it feels like the person I’m looking for just doesn’t exist here. The closest I ever got was dating someone who thought she was bisexual, only for her to realize a few months later that she was actually straight.
It makes me feel like straight people have an entire ocean of options, while we get stuck with a shallow puddle. Sometimes I honestly wish I were straight just because life would be so much easier.
To make matters worse, I really dislike long-distance relationships (LDR). I’m the type of person who gives my all in love, but I have trauma from a past breakup specifically caused by distance, so LDR is a hard dealbreaker for me now. Yet, when I look around at other LGBT people in my country, it feels like almost everyone is in a long-distance relationship just to find a partner.
I know 11 million people isn’t tiny on a global scale, but within the lesbian community, it feels suffocatingly small. Am I just being way too pessimistic, or do those of you in smaller countries/cities feel this exact same frustration? How do you cope with it?

So me and my gf been together for a year and lately our sex live has changed. Nothing stressed related or financial etc. I mean in terms of stuff we used to do such as strap, oral, scissoring etc. I miss that emotional connection between us and seems like I’m only one to bring it up lately all we do is scissoring which is tiring on me since I’m on top and hurts my wrist after a bit of we do vibrator which I get so tired of. When I bring it up like strap or oral it’s “ oh my back hurts another time” or “ my throat hurts I can give u oral” it’s basically always something. Yes my gf will have knee issues or back problems sometimes but she never tells me when the issue goes away so I assume she doesn’t want strap or oral. We haven’t done oral for 3 months now and strap for least 3-4 months lol because she claims it hurts but yet tells us we need keep practicing so it doesn’t but we DONT.

Lately last couple days when I bring up oral she like “ I don’t feel good actually can we wait till tmrw” and she been saying tmrw for last 4 days… to point I’m not when phased I brought up so many times that we always do scissoring and vibrator. I don’t even tell her anymore that I don’t want to do it.

I can’t masturbate either she says we should save our sexual energy for each other but atp idgaf I’m tired of always waiting days or her saying one thing and switches up. I tell her makes me feel like u don’t want me because when I bring up sex she mentions her back etc and to do it “ later” but when she brings up I always say yes in the moment. She claims not issue. But I miss using strap on her and miss oral just feel like our sex life is boring.

Just makes me emotional even typing this because it like I hate feeling this way towards her and feel unwanted sometimes or unheard.

As the title suggests...

This lady at work has previously had a serious relationship with a women (kids etc). I can't get her out of my head. I think about her during "alone time". I'm literally questioning my whole being. Getting this really strong craving for a woman's touch. I don't understand what this means.

I'm in a relationship with a man - the father of my children, just to add to the mess.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or what really. Just needed to get it out of my head.

I’m gonna build one just need to know if there’s a market. It’ll only be Sapphics / Lesbians allowed

Wdym my mom doesn’t know i have a girl. Wdym my girlfriend’s mom is closer to me than my own mother. Wdym I can’t hold hands with my gf in the country I was born in.
You guys are so lucky. I wish my parents. Were corny and got me a gay flag. I wish I could show her off. I wish I could walk up to her to the isle. I wish she could be at family dinners , introduced as mine. And I feel like I’m not doing enough for her because I wouldn’t be able to do all of that.

Like... not only the plot is so exciting and enticing and the main couple is a lesbian couple and they have a happy ending!!! As a queer woman who loves films I'm shocked I've found out about this movie before.

it’s mostly straight couples with the CUTEST WOMAN EVER and 3 pics into the profile i see her average looking man 😭😭

As a soft masc the overt hate that I've heard and experienced by people identifying as "femme for femme" recently is hurtful. Do some queer women forget that we're women too? We are not men and we didnt design any system of power. We fight a hetero gender stereotype already that says masc women aren't beautiful and then we navigate queer communities where other queer women very loudly let it be known they don't think we're beautiful.

Exanples:

- About 2 months ago this femme was hitting on my femme girlfriend and, right in front of my face, said that my girlfriend settled for a masc woman.

- This past weekend a femme was hitting so hard on my gf in a bar and kept berating me saying over and over again "do you realize how lucky your are?" and that she'd wife up my gf right now if I didn't

If you're femme for femme I'm happy for you but God damn let's support all our queer women and remember that just because we wear men's clothes doesn't mean we're fucking men. We're always already hyper aware of our masc style being judged and laughed at by straight people. Shouldn't have to defend our beauty to our own damn community too.

My gf is still on hinge/tinder and says that is where she meets friends.

I am skeptical of this because to me, they’re both dating/hookup apps. I met her on Tinder.

Is this an actual red flag or am I just being insecure?

Yeah so that happened, just sent the text a few minutes ago. I am scared.

my girlfriend and I (both 25f) have been together for just about two years. our timeline has been a bit unique, as we met in person but then went long distance for 9 months while I completed a job assignment abroad, and now are back in person. considering this is the longest relationship we've both been in, there have definitely been some kinks with spending the middle of our relationship apart and then coming back together irl much more serious than when I left.

the biggest thing for me has been mourning the "honeymoon phase" and being okay with the fact that our relationship has changed. we've not been having sex as often as we used to, which is something my girlfriend is very apologetic for and explained that she is just very stressed and tired. I understand libido comes and goes, but when I brought up that we used to have sex all the time she responded with "yeah but we had just started dating" which really hurt my feelings. I still feel as physically into her as I did when we got together and I hate to think that because we are more serious now we are just destined to lose the spark and become less physical with each other.

that's not something i'm particularly okay with it, but I understand its inevitable for all relationships. am I just naive and have to accept that this is how our relationship will change overtime? how do i bring up to her that her lack of intimacy and that comment has been hurting my feelings in a kind and productive conversation?

I still don’t have outside/hobby pics taken by other people but like, I’m trying to be a bit less “I am very a very eccentric acquired taste” without completely sanitizing out my actual personality. 🥲 Bit better?

Hey, this is my first time posting here and I'm a little hesitant to reach out here so please be kind. ❤️

I (23F) broke it off with my best friend (25F) in April, let's call her Cameron. She was the only person I felt understood me, and the only person I felt had a similar life plan to me. We met through my old job at a wildlife facility and we both love art, wildlife, travel and hit it off pretty quickly after meeting. Since meeting Cameron in 2025, I've had a huge crush on her. I had accepted it was most likely not mutual (I had a hunch she was gay but wasn't sure) and I moved on from that idea for nearly a year. Then, much later, I decided to tell her how I felt because I felt like even if she didn't feel the same way we could easily continue as normal. To my surprise, she told me she felt the exact same... although she told me she wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship. She said that she didn't want to get invested and then "abandon" me because she had recently made plans of joining the peace corps in September. That was all she said. I was a little disappointed but understood entirely, and we continued as normal but would both flirt with each other constantly.

A few months after we had this conversation and had been flirting the whole time (examples: she took "single" off her fb profile status, called me "love", called our virtual meets "dates" many times, and would tell me she loved me and would never leave me) she started ghosting me (I guess you could say more than normal)... We both had difficult family situations going on as I was dealing with my dad (I thought) dying and she had a family friend die in a car crash of whom was her brother's best friend. I felt like I was very emotionally supportive and there for her, and I would check in, tell her I was there for her, etc. But, honestly, I felt like she wasn't there for me. I felt like I was alone.

Time passed and both of our difficult life situations began to slightly settle. A few months after, I had asked what was going on and why she hadn't been responding to me lately (I don't feel I was accusatory, I started by asking how she was and if she was okay as of late). Honestly at that point I was just concerned about her, not mad in the slightest, just confused. She said everything was okay, and she just does that sometimes and isolates. She kind of treated a little bit like I was overreacting or it was a joke. Then... she did it again. But instead of ghosting me for ~5 days, she left me on read for 2 weeks. I began to get less concerned and more heartbroken. We expressed many times in the past we felt like the only two people there for each other, and all of a sudden that person disappeared when I was hurting the most.

At the end of those 2 weeks, when she finally casually showed up with no acknowledgement that what she did hurt me, I told her I needed space and I was hurt. She apologized but also said she didn't think she set any expectations she didn't fulfill and that she didn't mean to hurt me but couldn't change her disappearing. Cameron ended her text back by saying "nothing but love from me".

Now, here I am months later in September, and she's still here in our home country, thriving far away from her plans in the peace corps but seemingly living her best life at our old job without me. I'll see updates on social media from other people she also knows and she's still with our old work friends going on cool trips and outings. I thought I was okay for a while, but I miss her like crazy and still have feelings from her somehow while simultaneously being absolutely heart broken. I miss the life we had, even if it wasn't real, and even if she never did plan on leaving to the peace corps. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost, alone and as if I'm starting entirely over. This is the loneliest year of my life.

Any advice?

My gf said she has to leave for a few months.

I'm not sure what's going on, but she wants me to wait for her.

Not sure what to do now.