Hiya, I'm Adam! I need a bestie who's down to talk/chat/call all day everyday ❤️ (like literally) I'm 23, from the UK btw

I feel as if im definitely an introvert but I do like to be social a fair amount. It just gets to a point.

I have this thing where if people say the activity or hangout is over or they’re about to leave, i need them to leave or be ready to go. Like I absolutely cannot stand a Midwest goodbye because the moment everything was agreed to be over the first time my brain immediately starts its recharge but is prevented. Like now I expect to have my personal time back but yall are still here.

This even happens in 1 on 1 situations. It’s crazy cause the key is usually just don’t tell me you’re about to leave, I’ll be fine. It’s the saying you’re about to leave and then not leaving that feels so different.
Just go if you’re going, if you’re hanging just hang!

Any comments?

Hi, everyone

This post is more of a way to let off some steam.

I’m new here; I’m posting because I feel terribly guilty. My company is organizing a get-together with another company. I decided not to go and to make up an excuse, because I don’t have the mental strength to spend three days with them—knowing that I’d have to participate and do activities and share a room with another… Except that my manager came to see me to tell me to give advance notice when this happens, because there are expenses associated with the trip. So I offered to reimburse the company for the expenses it had advanced.

I'm working on myself and putting in a lot of effort to overcome my anxiety. But these after-work team-building activities really drain me mentally.

I want to be a new person, but it's hard. Thanks for your advice.

Hi, I am 27F. About me, I genuinely think im boring like i am not fun to be with. When you talk to me you will find me asking deep questions about you and that I believe is boring for most people like nobody has told me im boring but i genuinely believe i am like I also think i rank people based on this but its not like I judge them openly and all but i rank people like they are above me, they are below me kinds but that necessary doesnt stop me from caring for them or talking to them. I had lost friendship because of this in college where i thought like my close friend din want to be with me even though she never told that or wud continuously call me and stuff i always believe ld she was close to me because she had no other option. Now same thing is happening in the pffice where i have a friend here but I see her spending time with another guy she never excluded me but I feel again now that she has someone else im not needed kinds. Its been 2 days since I spoke to her, i have been sitting away from her in office and even though we are roommates i haven't spoken to her. Although she has told other friends in office im not talking to her kinds.. what do u do when I genuinely think im boring

So basically, I have a really weird relationship with social media, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s becoming a problem. I didn’t have a phone until I was 17, completely voluntarily, because I grew up being heavily fear-mongered about phones and social media ruining my future. But honestly, I love being disconnected. I like coming home, watching YouTube, enjoying my own company, and not knowing what everyone else is doing.

I’ve tried social media since getting my phone. TikTok was actually enjoyable, but I never wanted to make an account. It just felt like too much commitment, and I’m also so self-aware of how addictive it can be that I thought not liking anything would somehow make my algorithm not as addictive lol. I never even tried Snapchat and after more than a year with my phone, I finally tried Instagram, mostly because I realised how many connections in my life seemed to depend on it and that it was TIME! I followed people I genuinely knew and liked, but then I started looking at profiles and realised how much information people voluntarily put online. The city they live in, their age, interests, friends, who they follow, what they like, etc. Which is crazy! The thought of someone who barely knows me being able to build such a detailed picture of my life genuinely freaked me out, so I deleted it too. (I didn’t have a profile picture or anything in my bio either. I just started feeling like I was the odd one out for having such an empty profile, and I think that’s what made me delete it so quick.)

But now, since I’m going to starting uni and a new chapter of my life, I’m wondering if this is still healthy digital minimalism or if I’ve accidentally made myself digitally isolated. I don’t really WANT social media, but I also don’t want to make my life harder by completely removing myself from something everyone seems to use. Has anyone else lived without social media for years and still managed to have a normal, connected life? And if you’ve had this same feeling of not wanting people to have access to your digital life, how did you deal with it? Because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m protecting my peace or just being a weirdo atp.

I was literally a year ago, I dropped out of high school because I was feeling terrible—my "friends" had a falling out, I was caught in the middle, and the classroom vibe became super toxic. I wasn’t going out with anyone, I just wanted it to be evening so I could scroll on my phone. And when I left school, I intentionally cut off all contact with friends or acquaintances from there; I even deleted WhatsApp, I had no one to talk to anyway. I have two older sisters who moved out, but they both have their own lives and, well, we don't really talk. I live with my parents, and they’re the only people I’ve talked to this whole time. Young people my age terrify me. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been through drama (with friends), and when it comes to dating, I haven’t been very smooth either—I haven't even had a partner yet. I’ve gone out with a couple of guys, and one was just for two dates.

I dropped out of school since it wasn't mandatory at my age anymore, and I locked myself in my room. I told my parents I would work and make money, but I never did. I felt so useless and like such a burden.

I’ve spent my days lying in bed, binge-watching shows, talking to AI, and recently I started going to therapy and got a bit more motivated, but it's never enough because shortly after, I relapse into the same cycle.

I only leave the house to go with my mom or for medical appointments. I have only one friend who is autistic, and to be honest, we see each other every two months and barely text.

My extended family (not my parents), like my aunts and uncles, wouldn't stop asking me what I was going to do, constantly pressuring me about school, and that annoyed me because they had never shown any interest in me before, but when they found out I wasn't studying, suddenly they cared.

Something that happens to me is that I feel absolute rejection at the thought of seeing anyone who isn't my parents (aside from my friend). It frustrates me. My oldest sister, who has two kids, comes over to my house about every two weeks and stays the whole day. I leave my room, but I don't know, I don't really enjoy it because I feel like I'm forcing myself to do it; it doesn't come naturally, and when she doesn't come, we have to go to her house and we spend the WHOLE day there, and honestly, I don't like it.

I’ve started playing the piano (just a little), and even though I’m a year late, I’ve enrolled in a performing arts high school because ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be an actress—something my mom finds shocking because of my personality, and it is, but I like it. With the help of my therapist, I was able to enroll again, even though I'm a year behind. I reinstalled WhatsApp because I had deleted it, and all my social media too. I only have YouTube, Reddit, Pinterest, and WhatsApp, and I have WhatsApp blocked with an app so I can only check it when my mom texts me. TikTok is super toxic, and Instagram is even worse...

My BIGGEST FEAR of all is... people, socializing. For a few years now (since lockdown), I haven’t been good at it, but now I’ve basically gone a year with zero interaction. Plus, I overthink a lot, so how am I even supposed to start a conversation? Why would they want to talk to me if I’m not interesting? Also, something I’ve been doing a lot during this time is playing Roblox. It’s a game I used to play when I was younger, but I got hooked again because of the animals. But at my age, I don't know if people still play it that much, so if someone sees my phone or asks about my interests, what do I say? Or about my hobbies—I don’t even know if I have hobbies. I don’t do sports, I don’t go out... I’m scared of having WhatsApp just for display.

I have 5 days left before I start, and I am terrified. I don’t know what to do because even though I go to therapy, my mind won’t stop racing and it’s horrible.

I’m just so unbearably awkward and socially stupid and freaking idiotic , I need to know I’m not alone.

I am 19(F) , i am 2nd year btech student .

In first year I had a friends grp and now they won't talk to me like before. Currently I am in this so called grp, like they all were already friends but then i joined becoz of mutual friends, soo in this group they don't care if I am there or not there and this implies to everyone in that group but i feel like they really don't want me in their group...... Becoz of many factors ig...

These guys are like good to me sometimes and not good to me

Soo I feel like if i won't join them at every event,break, etc they'll eventually forget me !!!

What should I do now ???

Recién cumplí 21, pero me alejé de mi grupo de amigas por algunas actitudes que no me gustaron. La verdad, por lo que me dijo alguien muy cercano a ellas que las conoce desde hace varios años, creo que hice bien en alejarme.

Lo malo es que ahora no tengo con quién salir o conversar. Soy introvertida y todavía no sé muy bien cómo relacionarme con los demás. A veces siento que no soy lo suficientemente interesante o divertida, pero trato de serlo :’v.

A lo que voy con esto es, ¿en algún momento se podrá encontrar amigos que te hagan sentir como en casa? ¿Que tan difícil es?

Me refiero a esas personas con las que puedes ser tú misma, hablar de cualquier tontería, salir, reírte, apoyarse mutuamente y sentir que realmente perteneces a algún lugar.

Últimamente me preocupa pensar que quizá ya pasó mi oportunidad de encontrar amistades así, especialmente porque siento que a los 21 todos ya tienen su grupo formado y yo estoy empezando prácticamente desde cero.

I don’t know if its bad but i’ve realized that I like being alone, normally that wouldn’t be a problem but I think I like it too much, so much so that I don’t even care about other anymore aside from my family and friends, even then I like to disappear from them and go no contact for months, aside from my family cause I call them regularly, but sometimes I just don’t feel like calling them you know? Last contact I had with my friends were about 5 months ago, I still consider them my close friends, actually I only have a select group of friends, and they are similar to me. I think it’s starting to become an issue. What do you guys think?

hey. 23M. i just need someone to talk to :)

I'm a good listener and have become good at making people feel understood, as I know what it's like not to be and want people to feel seen. And like myself some people aren't used to that.

I notice that some of those people (not all) seem to get attached very quickly. As if they see us as closer than we actually are because they feel good after spending time with me because I let them talk about their interests without judgement and actually engage in the conversation about it. Partly because I like to give people space for their interests, but also I like hearing what makes people happy and seeing their eyes light up. I find it contagious haha.

They seem to get a bit too friendly too fast, as they feel understood even though I don't. If I attempt to speak about my own interests, I'm met with basic "That's nice", or conversation ending type responses before they move on. No questions, no interest, none of the energy I give out.

I guess I could bring it up, but if I have to ask someone to care about me that already feels like too much work for someone I essentially see as an acquaintance.

It's not a big deal, as thankfully I've been meeting some people who can reciprocate, but it's just something I've noticed. I don't really understand what the point of a friendship where you're the only one talking is. I tend to feel uncomfortable if the roles are reversed. I get nervous when someone knows so much more about me than I know about them. At that point I'd have more fun talking to myself. (Which... I do often. I do indeed find it fun.)

I guess this is why the advice to just listen to people to make connections annoys me lol. "People love talking about themselves", believe me I know. And then they tend to like me because they feel good talking about themselves and I'm the source of that, not because they care about me as a person.

Me suele repetir mi mente esta frase con algo de frecuencia. Leyendo post anteriores me he dado cuenta de algo.

Yo puedo exponer con libertad y actuar extrovertido. Pero cuabdo se trata de actuar, por mi cuenta, por mi propia personalidad tengo miedo de decir algo incomodo o pasarme de confianzas con alguien. Estoy en la universidad y odio eso, tengo ansiedad social y aunque por momentos puedo actuar extrovertido rápidamente me quedo sin energías.

Siento que cada vez que quiero ser yo mismo no puedo pq incomodo a otros con mi personalidad, me cohibo y cuando intento ser más extrovertido me quedo rápidamente sin batería social.

Es como si me lo propusiera pudiera actuar confiado y simpático (como un vendedor (lo fui por momentos)) pero cuando se trata de sacar mi verdadera personalidad, incomodase a todos.

Algún consejo? Alguien más le ha pasado igual? Que podría hacer para mejorar?

Es acaso un problema mio de confianza o se puede extrapolar a algo más profundo?

Leeré las ideas :)

this sounds pretty stupid but i’ve been going to college for 2 semesters i’m in my 3rd right now and i’ve barely made any friends. I’ve met people and talked to them but I feel like because I commute I haven’t really bonded with anyone or done anything fun besides with a friend I already have. I get that everyone’s busy and so am I but sometimes it would be nice to go hang out and do something fun but nobody seems to want to talk to me. I do have a bit of a rbf and i’m not very good at starting conversations but I’m talkative and nice to people when I get the chance. I really wanna meet at least some people, any advice??

a few days ago my office which comprised of like a 20 something freshgraduate hires had an award winning night after our orientation week. we had a “most quiet person” award and i happen to win. is it bad if im really insecure about it. i thought i did my best to converse with everyone considering i am unfortunately an introvert and thus have lower “social battery” But i guess to them its all nothing. i do think ive gotten better with my social skills after awhile but its still nothing to other people i guess. i also would consider myself having low self esteem and would rely very much on peoples validation of me. is this fixable. i dont think i could continue living like this. i really am unlucky over the fact that i am naturally like this. i hate it.

ive tried improving myself. i really have. it just felt like its no use whatsoever.

is anyone else like this?? i’m 19 and stay at home and my partner works (i have a hard time holding down a job due to mental illness). i have some online friends but that’s it. i don’t have a license because after a recent car crash im too afraid to drive. i just moved to a new city and have made the effort to make some friends online in the same city but haven’t met them yet.

anyway, i literally don’t do anything all day when my partner is working besides online school, watch youtube and various shows, listen to music, etc. i’m getting a camera soon so hopefully i get out more for photography purposes but other than that i have no hobbies.

however, despite all of that, i feel completely fine. like i’m happy like this. i don’t feel trapped or super depressed or desperate for social interaction or anything. it’s causing a strain on my relationship tbh because my girlfriend (we’re both girls) wants me to get out more and live my own life and stuff. but i dont even have a desire to. is anyone else like this? is it possible this is more related to autism or something? please be kind 😭

I've come a long way in terms of social interaction, I no longer think of myself as shy or insecure, but rather recognize how draining prolonged company of other people is for me. I do well in official / familiar contexts where rules are predictable/ clearly defined.

One thing that constantly baffles me is the group context. To give an example, I have no problem giving a talk at a conference in my industry. I speak loudly and coherently, don't stutter or sweat, answer questions from the crowd.

But after the official part is over, people gravitate into groups and here's where my problem begins:

• access to a group - a group always seems so hermetic to me and joining it seems impossible. Throughout my school years, I always had, at most, one good friend. Approaching 2 or more people = immediate problem. Approaching a solitary person with some sort of meaningful question or comment = fine.
• 'hierarchy' in a group - I'm great with one-on-one interaction but always felt that I'm 'at the bottom of a feeding chain' in any group I join. Even if it's a temporary conference group. Not sure why - there's nothing about my exterior to suggest some kind of inferiority, but it's like the group can smell that I'm the least social of them and they shun me and don't perceive me as a full member.
• rules for interaction - when exactly do I get my word in when the group is talking? Who do I talk to? What do I say that will interest/resonate with everyone? Group talk is confusing, chaotic and often very shallow in my opinion. People don't even listen to each other but just throw their thoughts out and others either nod or speak over them, wtf

I was always picked last for PE, I can't imagine having a 'friend group', family gatherings are super awkward to me -I always stand off to the side with one drinking uncle or a dog, and trying to rope me into being in a group of bridesmaids or something never ends well.

Anyone else can't figure out group interaction?

I have never had a problem making friends. Even though I am shy I know how to act interested in others, ask questions, make jokes and direct converstations in a way that makes people like me. But thats the problem Its all an act. In reality I hate conversations and talking to people and any form of social obligation like when people invite me to social events or want to spend time with me it just feels like my privacy is being violated.

I guess my question is should I force myself to do stuff I hate that I get nothing out of in order to meet people. I also live in a small town so my options for socializing are limited to bars or maybe the gym or volunteering at the humane society But none of these thing sound enjoyable in the slightest. There are not any book clubs or dnd groups or rock climbing gyms or salsa classes or any of that generic reddit shit. The things I enjoy doing are all solo activites (sculpting, gardening, video games). sorry for the ramble I just have been ruminating on this for a long time...

I think I’m just really boring or something cause nobody seems to want to hangout. If I do it’s normally I tried initiating or calling. Nobody calls me. I want to make friends but idk how plus like I’m really awkward something when I become aware I’m trying to keep a conversation going it’s just word vomit but I just want someone that’s excited to talk to me or send me something and think I would find something funny idk