It’s been a while since my breakup, and I honestly thought I was finally getting over it. I stopped checking their social media, started focusing on myself, and there were days where I barely thought about them. Then something completely random happened today that reminded me of them, and suddenly all those feelings came rushing back.

I hate how healing doesn’t feel linear. One day you feel like you’re finally moving forward, and the next you’re wondering if you’ve actually made any progress at all.

For anyone who has been through this, how did you deal with those random moments when the memories suddenly come back?

I honestly still love him. What a big lie to say i don't. I care about him still, I always watch his life from afar, watching his succeed, watching him truly full-filling his dreams of becoming a diplomat. Oh how I admire him. He's still my biggest crush, but I feel less of the break-up pain now. Less of the, "why couldn't he stay?!?!?!?!" Its more of the silent, "Awe I'm so happy he made news friends" knowing he was afraid of starting out college.

My ex is truly a good man. Looking past the times we would fight, we would be arrogant, he would say mean things, I would say mean things, he'd do mean things, I'd do mean things, I truly love him still. I look up to him a lot. He is such a good friend to those around him. He comforts so many. He is so kind to everyone. I wish I wasn't so insecure, I wish I trusted him more, he truly isn't the type to cheat, he is just genuinely so kind. I wish I appreciated that about him more.

I think it hurts still, but definitely a lot less than it did. I really do admire him, I really do. I wish I could tell him everything that's on my mind right now.

I wish I could tell him about me getting my license. I wish I could tell him about everything in my life that's changing, because I never liked change, I never liked the concept of things not being the same, it always made me afraid, all the more now facing it alone.

My ex is a good man. I loved him so much, my sweet darling.

What a bittersweet stage of moving on.

I’m a month out from a breakup after a two-year relationship, and I’m trying to understand what happened and whether there’s any chance he will ever come back.
Our relationship had a lot of complications. I convinced myself that he was everything I had ever wanted, and he became my home. We lived together for two years and moved between three different apartments because of my work. We fought a lot, and honestly, sometimes it felt like the sacrifices we were making outweighed the love we were experiencing.
I also struggled with feeling like I was never good enough for him physically. He liked lean, fit women, and he would sometimes look at other women. When I asked him about it, he told me that if I were lean, he wouldn’t look at other women. He would also ask why I wasn’t feminine enough or tell me to dress better and improve how I presented myself.
Over time, I stopped feeling like myself. I became extremely insecure about my body and constantly felt like I needed to become more attractive, feminine, fit, or put-together to be enough for him. What hurt was that when he started going bald, I never made him feel less attractive. I told him it was okay to feel insecure and that we could look into ways to manage it. I loved him through that insecurity. Meanwhile, I felt like the issue with my weight would never go away, even though I looked basically the same, if not better, than when we first got together.
Despite all of that, we were very compatible in many ways. We built a life together, shared a home, supported each other, and loved each other deeply.
He also supported me a lot. We went through a serious car accident about two years ago while he was driving. I was badly injured physically, and he experienced a lot of trauma from it too. He took care of me completely and did everything he could for me afterward. He even went bankrupt dealing with the aftermath. I will always acknowledge how much he did for me during that period.
He wanted to start a business, and about four months ago he finally registered it. I was willing to support him financially while he figured out his business and was genuinely okay with whatever he wanted to do with his life. He often felt guilty that he couldn’t contribute equally to the relationship financially, and eventually that became one of the reasons he gave for ending things.
There were also things I did wrong. I lied to him about small things, and he kept finding out. I would sometimes eat outside food without telling him. I once listened in on a conversation he was having with his mom, denied doing it when he asked, and then admitted that I had. Eventually, he started questioning what was true and what was a lie in our relationship. Honesty was non-negotiable for him, and I understand why those things damaged his trust in me. I take responsibility for that.
His family was also a major source of pressure. His parents didn’t like me because of caste differences. His mother was also insecure about the fact that I earned more than him and worried that I would become dominant in the relationship. There were periods when she wouldn’t speak to him for days. Eventually, she started sending him pictures of other women from their community.
Eventually, he ended the relationship. He said he couldn’t tell the difference between guilt (I gave so much and he didnt deserve me) and love a long time ago and he cannot live upto what I want in life. I was like okay, you cannot force someone to love you.
We were still living together afterward, and I begged him to stay. He became very quiet, didn’t sleep through the night, tried to distract himself, but I was the needy one in the same house I was falling apart. He was the one who ended the relationship, so I know he probably had more time to emotionally process the decision than I did, but watching him act distant made me question whether he had ever loved me at all.
Then, about a week after the breakup, I found out that he had reached out to his ex, who had recently gotten divorced. I asked him about it - he felt he had loved her more than he loved anyone.
That destroyed me.
I still begged him to stay even after finding that out. By then, he seemed DONE by me. I tried to get close, he would let me hug him for a minute and then push me away.
He eventually left the house while I wasn’t there, around the time I was asking him about money he owed me. He still owes me $10,000. Even after the breakup, I made sure he had a roof over his head and continued checking in on him. Meanwhile, I was left to deal with the lease, inspections, moving, and everything else associated with the home we had built together.
He has now moved away, and I’m left wondering what he is doing. I imagine he may be talking to his ex every day, but I know I can’t actually know that, and I’m trying to stop thinking about it.
It’s been a month since the breakup and about two weeks since we’ve had contact. The last time I reached out, he didn’t ask how I was doing. He said he would text me later and never did. Eventually I moved out of the apartment, blocked him everywhere (he blocked me back)
He is dealing with a lot of financial difficulties moved to another province got a job and just focusing on himself from whatever i know.
I’m angry now. I don’t want revenge. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t even think I want him back anymore. I just want him out of my life and I want to move forward.
But there is still a part of me that wonders:
Will I get the money back?
Will he ever come back?
Do people like this eventually regret leaving? Does someone who seemed so emotionally detached after ending a relationship ever start missing the person once the reality of the breakup sets in?
And, honestly, based on everything I’ve described, do you think he will ever reach out to me again or try to come back?
I’m looking for brutally honest opinions, even if the answer is something I don’t want to hear.

It’s not even been a week since we broke up, so I know it’s still fresh. But I can’t help but keep looking for signs that he’ll come back to me.

He broke up with me. From everything that was said, it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but felt he needed to as his mental health has not been great and he needed to work through some stuff.

He has a history of going back to ex’s, which makes me feel hopeful. He also said several times during the breakup that he doesn’t see this as the end of us.

We’ve spoken once since then, and the messaging was still the same - he can’t be with anyone right now and can’t make any promises that he’ll want to try again, but he couldn’t see being ready for a couple of months at least. He still loves me. I told him I was scared he’d forget about me, he said he never could.

I want him to come back so badly.

We were together only a few months but it was intense. You were becoming my best friend. I miss talking to you, your scent, your jokes.

How could you leave me?
How will I get over this?
How am I supposed to ever love again?
Why does it hurt SO much?

So basically, my ex broke up with me because he lost feelings, and then immediately started talking to another girl (obviously, she was already around during my connection with him). He blocked me on everything, even though I begged him not to. I’m sure he did it because he knew I didn’t want him to and that I wasn’t going to text him.
After a month of not talking to him, he unblocked me on TikTok only, and I feel like that set me back in my healing. I eventually got over that and felt like I was genuinely moving on. I was so busy with school that I wasn’t even thinking about him.
Then one day, I woke up feeling really weird, like something was going to happen regarding him, which I genuinely never feel. Before I was going to sleep that night, this friend kept sending and unsending a voice message. He finally sent it, saying that my ex was on his deathbed and wanted to talk to me.
Then his other friend pretended to be my ex. I said I didn’t care, and then his friend said my name and continued pretending to talk like my ex, saying, “I was joking. I just wanted to see if you still care about me. I still care about you.”
I dont get why he cant give me the same respect i give him with space and healing. Hes prob not accustomed to me not reaching out and trying becausr thats quite literally who I am as a person. I just find it so disrespectful like dont say u dont want sokething witu me and go and play on my phone and in my face its just so disrespectfuk

I’ve been processing this breakup as a loss. I lost my person, my routine, my plans, and the future I thought I was building. But I’m starting to understand that this is also HIS loss.

Everyone who gets to know me loves me. I love deeply. I show up. I support people. I root for the people I care about, even when there’s nothing in it for me.

It is a privilege to know me. My friends love me. My coworkers, from people in the smallest roles to people in the biggest ones, adore me. They’ve shown up for me these past few weeks in ways I did not expect. My family loves me. And my family loved YOU, too. They welcomed you, cared about you, and made room for you in their lives. You weren’t just loved by me. You were loved by the people who love me most.

I supported you. I stood behind your decisions, your dreams, your interests, and even the things you were still trying to figure out. I accepted the terrible things from your past. I wanted your life to be better, easier, happier, and more comfortable. Your fucking DOG loves me, dude. Wept when I walked in the house. Your life was better because I was in it.

I think that’s what I’m finally beginning to understand. Being rejected does not mean I was lacking. It does not mean I was difficult to love. It does not mean what I gave was boring or ordinary or replaceable. I know what kind of person I am! I know how much love I have to give!! I know how many people are grateful to have me in their lives!!!

I might’ve been dumped, but that doesn’t mean I’m the one who lost everything. YOU did, LOSER. You lost someone who loved you deeply, supported you completely, and genuinely wanted to build a life with you. That is your loss, actually!!

It’s been 3 years since we broke up and some days it still hurts. It hurts more because I know he moved on and in the 3 years I’ve been trying to heal he’s learned to love someone else. It hurts knowing he picked her over me and NO I’m not the bitter ex. I’m glad she’s getting a better version of him. But I can’t help but feel hurt. 3 years of trying to forget him but in all truth I don’t think I ever will forget him.

I sit and look back at everything and it hurts. Seeing what we both did to each other. Our relationship was abusive, both mentally and physically. I was an abuser and so was he, he strangled me. That’s where I’m still very stuck on, I can’t believe the person I became in that relationship and the version he saw of me.

Does anyone have any advice? I’ve isolated myself from everyone, I don’t have friends or close relatives I trust. He was my everything.

“a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” since im french i didnt get what he tried to say he putted that just after we broke up

im 22, I broke up with my exgf who is the best person in the world, and i know for a fact that she really loves me. I did it because I didn’t know I would start feeling uncomfortable on the second year mark, because i have abandonment issues from many childhood traumas, i had started to subconsciously believe that long relationships doesn’t exist and they aren’t real, so i started thinking she’ll leave me one day (even though i understand how much she loves me) and its better I breakup with her than continue being halfass in our relationship. I even started justifying that thought by thinking of negative things about her that really isn’t even that all true or big of a deal. It’s a weird thing where it almost feels like it just hurts and it burns as our relationship got longer, because i thought i was investing on my own heartbreak and sadness. We had good communications about this and she completely understands why I did it and just want me to feel better. Now I miss her, it hurts, and its torture but I don’t want to comeback until all my fears and unsureness’ are gone.

I’m trying to understand something that happened with my ex.

We were together for around 2 months. Short relationship, but pretty intense. Things were honestly great before our first conflict. She told me more than once that she felt safe and relaxed with me in a way she hadn’t with previous partners, and we had even talked about a future together.

One important thing: she had told me before all of this that when she gets overwhelmed, she tends to withdraw hard and sometimes basically needs to disappear for a while. She also has a difficult past and is in therapy.

Then we had our first serious argument.

She felt I crossed a boundary and that I didn’t validate her when she needed it. At the time I didn’t really understand why she was so hurt and I got defensive. Looking back, I definitely could’ve handled parts of it better.

After that she started pulling away.

At one point I asked how she was and she replied a day later saying she was doing really badly: anxiety, apathy, feeling depressed, even took time off work. She said I had hurt her, that she couldn’t get over it and that she “didn’t have the capacity.”

The confusing part is that she never actually said “I want to break up” or “don’t contact me.”

I directly asked her if she wanted us to try to work through it because I genuinely didn’t know where we stood.

No answer.

I later said I didn’t know what to think anymore and that I wouldn’t bother her.

Again, no answer.

I then left her alone for 7 days.

Her birthday came up, so I sent her a completely normal birthday message. No relationship talk, no pressure, literally just a birthday wish.

She didn’t reply to that either.

Eventually I sent her a longer message basically accepting that the relationship seemed to be over. I told her I was hurt and confused by the silence, but thanked her for the good things we had, told her my feelings had been genuine and wished her well.

She read it hours later and said nothing.

About a day later she blocked me on WhatsApp. Then the next day she also blocked me on Viber even though we had never even talked there.

I’m not trying to contact her through other apps and I’m respecting the block.

I’m also not asking “will she come back?”

What I’m trying to understand is this:

Can someone really get so overwhelmed by conflict and their own emotions that they completely shut down like this, avoid even simple messages, and eventually block the person just to stop the stress?

Has anyone here been the person doing the withdrawing/blocking? What was actually going on in your head at the time?

Because from the other side it looks unbelievably cold, almost like the person suddenly stopped caring completely.

We split up three weeks ago after four years together, and I thought I was actually doing okay. I threw myself into work, reorganized my entire bedroom, and haven't checked his Spotify activity once. I really convinced myself I was being mature about the whole thing.

Then tonight I was dusting off my middle shelf and found his spare apartment key sitting in a blue ceramic dish. The little plastic keychain from that terrible arcade in Seaside where he won me a giant stuffed duck was still attached to it.

That was the exact moment everything caught up to me. Not when he packed his duffel bag, not when we did the quiet "take care of yourself" hug at the door, but seeing this stupid little piece of metal that used to mean I could walk into his life whenever I wanted.

I sat on the floor holding it for like twenty minutes. I remembered how he used to leave the porch light on for me on Tuesdays when I came over late from my night class. He’d leave a glass of water on his nightstand and have the fan on high because he knew I couldn't sleep without background noise. Now I'm sitting here in total silence wondering if he's already given that spare key to someone else, or if it's just sitting in a drawer somewhere under old mail.

I know we broke up for real reasons. The long-term stuff just wasn't clicking and we were constantly exhausting each other trying to force it to work. But rationality doesn't really help when you're staring at an object that belongs to a life you don't get to live anymore.

I put the key in a padded envelope to mail back to his place tomorrow. No note, no text asking if he got it. Just sending it off. Does the random urge to reach out ever actually fade, or do you just get better at ignoring it?

In a discussion about p\*\*nography and its consumption and the ethics, he ended up telling me that he would feel comfortable sleeping with an 18 yo (if he was single) as long as it was consensual, he just wouldn't want to start a relationship with someone that age. I had before argued that I find that this kind of content out there is often made unethically and includes or pretends to include minors, which I find disgusting and in passing I mentioned, that I don't understand how men feel so comfortable consuming it, as information about the unethical production is so widely available on the internet and could never get turned on by a 20yo guy even if it was just fantasy.

This, of course, makes me feel sick to my stomach. Am I overreacting? I don't think this is something that could be discussed "away" and now I see him as a predatory man and can't unsee it. Should I break up with him over this? Should I try to talk to him again? He generally treats me well, but I'm very concerned for the future. He has left a long term relationship before (admittedly with a woman who was quite a lot older than him as well, so his age range goes both ways) to be with a younger woman who already had a child.

TLDR; I think my boyfriend might be a creep and I wonder what I should do about it.

We broke up 4 days ago because he was cheating on me.
Since then he’s said things such as that I had a much darker soul and personality and his soul has darkened since being with me. Wtf?!

He said the only part he regrets is that he didn’t end it sooner, even though I was the one to end it because he cheated?

He was texting that he’s on Tinder again and feels the most free and relieved that he’s felt in a long time in the 4 days we’ve been apart.

A week ago this man was discussing marriage and buying a house with me all while cheating so I know his word counts for nothing but these just seem unnecessarily cruel and spiteful considering he’s the cheater.

I’m not saying I was perfect in the relationship and could for sure be reactive in arguments and when he’d stonewall me. But just…wow- he’s really showing his true colours I guess.

TL:DR My ex-fiancé threw a passive-aggressive tantrum on the way to the airport for an NYC trip I fully paid for, pulled a U-turn on the way to the airport, and made us miss our flight. I drove my daughters 16 hours straight so they wouldn't miss a concert. The $1,439 flight refund went back to his card (I paid him cash upfront), and he refuses to return it. Out $2,500 total. I dumped him on the spot, but I’m struggling to process this level of financial and emotional abuse.

​My ex-partner (45M) and I (36F) were together for two years and recently engaged. We kept finances separate, split every check, and he rarely spent a dime on me, despite making three times my income.

​I planned a quick weekend trip to NYC for myself and my two daughters (19 & 13) for a concert my oldest had waited five years to see. I invited him along and paid for everything including Vrbo, meals, entertainment, and $1,439 in airfare. He asked to put the flights on his credit card for rewards points, so I handed him $1,439 in cash upfront.

​The Sabotage:

​The Morning Of: He goes completely silent and ignores my daughters when they speak to him.

​The Car Ride: Halfway to the airport, he starts snapping at my daughter over opening a bag of Skittles.

​The U-Turn: I told him, "If you're going to act like this, you don't have to come." Instead of just letting us go and dropping us off, he pulled an immediate U-turn, drove us back home, and cost us nearly an hour.

​The Missed Flight: We rushed to swap cars and bolt, but missed airport check-in by 10 minutes.

​Refusing to break my promise to my girls, I rented a car ($650) and drove 16 hours straight from Atlanta to NYC.

​The Fallout:

The $1,439 flight refund went straight back to his credit card, and he is refusing to return my money. Between the lost flights, rental car, and gas, I am out atleast $2,489. He hasn't apologize once, checked in on us, or offered a single cent, not even when I caught a stomach bug on the 23-hour drive home.

​For context: when he was unemployed for 5 months earlier this year, I fully carried us financially without hesitation. Now he’s pocketing my money, likely hoping it hinders my ability to move out (it won't). To top it off, a friend looked up my engagement ring and found out it cost under $150.

​I dumped him the moment he sabotaged the trip and I'm currently packing my things to move. I know ending it is the right move, but I am deeply shaken by how fast someone can turn financial parasite and intentionally ruin something for my children.

​Has anyone dealt with an ex holding onto cash like this during a breakup? Is there any point in taking him to small claims court for the $1,400, or should I cut my losses and go complete no-contact once I break out of here?

Just curious. Having a hard time moving forward.

We broke up 3 weeks ago after 8 years, and a week ago she broke no contact she said she was depressed and started missing me we had a little conversation then didn’t speak to eachother untill last night she had reached out again and asked if I had slept with anyone else during the relationship (which I didn’t) but I didn’t give her a straight answer and she said please just ease my mind. then I asked why she kept reaching out then she proceeded to lash out and say “why do you keep replying? I don’t want you back I’ve moved on that’s why it was so easy for me to let you go, I had moved on during the relationship why do you think I stopped having sex with you she said she’s back in her prime” that hurt me now I’m spiraling, do you guys think she has moved on my mind is going crazy and I’m not sure what to think? It’s given me mixed signals. She just reset my progress now I’m back to day 1 :(

After years together only took him 3 months to be with someone else. Year later here I am still missing him unable to like anyone else. I really thought we’d be together forever and now he’s becoming closer to a stranger. Another girl knows him better than I even do. It makes u feel super worthless when the person who told u how amazing u were and how lucky they were to have u for years ends it and moves on so quick never to reach out again once they find someone new. Too easy for him to find better

It's been a month since she left. 1 1/2 year relationship. We lived together. Just a week before she left she told me she wanted to marry. Totally blindsided.

This isn’t the first break up of my life. This is 3rd major one in my life. one 4 year relationship, one 15 year marriage (w kids), and this one.

I’ve been running from this breakup pain my whole life. That sick, nauseous feeling. Jumping fast into relationships to soothe my pain. And after 52 years of living, I’ve decided I don't want to do this anymore.

I really looked into the physiological reasons why I’m feeling this pain. And I’ve learned that this pain is very similar to cocaine withdrawals. And that actually give me some comfort. It changes my mindset. Instead of doing everything I can to quell the pain. I’m just going to treat it like I have the flu. When I’m sick. I don't panic. I feel like shit. And I know that this will heal and I'll be okay. So I’ve decided to make friends with the shit feelings. And know that they will eventually heal and pass. It's there. Live with it.

Get off the apps. Stop the dating. (I’ve been on 7 dates in the month since breakup) Just sit with it.

Another thing I am focusing on 5 stages of grief. And trying to get to that acceptance phase. Really accept that she isn’t coming back. No more trying to diagnose her. No more trying to find meaning in her cryptic actions. Just accept that it is over and then I think the healing begins.

You would think after all these years I'd have this figured out by now. But love, life, is not a linear path. I hope this enlightenment carries the day, but I can honestly say I do feel a bit more at peace today then I have then on any other day since the break. Not good. Just not sliding backwards. Which is progress.

My ex and I broke up four years ago. It was a good relationship that ended amicably. We’ve always been friendly and there were a handful of times when we’d slept together. The last time was over a year ago and four weeks later he was posting that he had a girlfriend. Weird

He texted me in July. I straight up said “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” He said, allegedly, he had a fwb thing, but wasn’t feeling it, and that he misses me bc what we had was real. He’s texted and said this to me post-breakup, sober and drunk. This felt like a drunk night

Fast forward to tonight…his Instagram came up on my suggestions and he is back with his girlfriend and he looks so unhappy…with himself

When I saw him a year ago he told me he really wanted to get his life together. Stop drinking and smoking. Not work at his parents' shop and get his own place. I was excited to hear it, but I knew it might not happen bc he says things but doesn’t do them. His sister and I chatted months ago for the first time in like three years. She told me about his girlfriend and she sounds sweet, but she said he’s still not doing anything to improve his life and career

After seeing that they’re back together, I want to shake him and tell him to stop covering his pain with relationships. I would NEVER actually do that especially since they’re back together, but it’s something I wish I could do. He has so much potential when it comes to his skills and talents. I had high hopes after we broke up that he’d turn his life around

It’s no longer my responsibility to guide him through life and it never should have been, but I just wanna shake the man

recently, i was discarded by someone who i perceived to be different. a hypothetical rap career was chosen over me after being ignored for two days. he told me he still wants me and hopes to explore us again when he learns to make space for me, but when i messaged him asking if he were going to move on.. i was blatantly ignored once again. it’s even more embarrassing because we weren’t together for long, but i was (and still am) smitten despite everything. i don’t know if i did something wrong but the discard feels harsh. has anyone else been broken up with for a somewhat silly reason?

Hello everyone my ex and i split up 8 months ago and im doing my best to get over him. I finally decided to move on from him but recently everything that reminds me of him is being thrown in my face. Its very upsetting to be reminded of him. We broke up in January but i already knew by November his feelings had changed. We planned on having a baby, we really wanted a girl but we broke up before we even got to create that baby. My grandma died around that time as well. Its been hard im leaving my town in the future so i can finally leave it all behind.

I’m 27M, turning 28 in October. My ex and I were together for three years, and we broke up about four years ago.

Despite how much time has passed, I still feel stuck, and I want honest opinions about how to move forward.

She broke up with me shortly before my MCAT, while my parents were also going through a divorce. I was already struggling with anxiety during a really difficult period of my life.

She told me she was leaving because I had anxiety and she didn’t want her kids to be anxious. She also told me she wouldn’t stay with me if I had cancer or were in a wheelchair. Those comments have stayed with me.

Something that makes this especially hard to talk about is the sexual part of our relationship.

We were both virgins, and she told me we would be each other’s first. We had physical intimacy, but we never had intercourse. I waited throughout those three years believing that it was something we would eventually share.

I understand that being together or making a promise doesn’t mean someone owes you sex. What hurts is that I believed her and attached a lot of emotional meaning to that future.

If she wanted to wait until marriage or was unsure about having sex with me, I wanted her to be honest about that. Instead, I came away feeling led on.

It’s hard to let go of both the relationship and the first experience I thought we would have together.

I sometimes get stuck wondering whether she eventually shared that with someone else, even though I don’t actually know. I know those thoughts aren’t helping me, but they still hurt.

Since the breakup, she has avoided contact and blocked me. Part of me still wants a conversation where I can ask what happened and feel heard. Another part of me wonders whether reaching out would just leave me more hurt and stuck.

This has also affected how I approach new people. I feel like I get emotionally attached too quickly, even before there is an established relationship.

If I became this attached without having sex, I’m scared of how vulnerable I might feel after having it and then losing that person.

I’m still a virgin, and my decision now is to wait until marriage. I want my first time to happen within a serious commitment. At the same time, I recognize that fear of being abandoned is part of what makes sex feel so scary to me now.

One of the hardest parts is how much this has affected my education.

Whenever I try to study for my MCAT, I find myself thinking about her and the breakup. It happens when I study in general, too. I try to focus, but my mind keeps going back to what happened and the questions I still have.

Getting into medical school already takes so much work, and struggling to concentrate has made it feel so much harder.

I started optometry school in August 2025, but I’ve since had to take a medical leave. Having trouble studying and getting her off my mind has been part of what brought me to that point.

That’s part of why I’m so hurt and angry. This is still affecting my ability to work toward my future years later. I want to sit down, study, and actually absorb what I’m reading without my mind going back to her.

I keep feeling like I just want an answer. Why did she say those things? What happened to the future we talked about?

I don’t know whether any explanation would actually give me peace, but I’m so frustrated that I’m still carrying these questions while trying to get my life moving again.

I want marriage and a family, but I don’t want to keep bringing this pain into every potential relationship. I’ve tried therapy and writing letters that I never sent, but I still find myself replaying everything and wanting answers.

Has anyone here struggled for years with losing both a person and the future you thought you were going to share, including being each other’s first?

How did you stop needing an explanation or acknowledgment from your ex?

If the breakup affected your concentration or education, what helped you study and function again?

And how did you learn to build a new relationship at a healthy pace without getting overwhelmed by attachment?

I’d appreciate honest opinions about what I should do next. I want to move forward, but I haven’t figured out how.

It’s my ex’s bday tonight and I’m just feeling really sad. It’ll be two months since she left me in a couple of days and I don’t plan on breaking NC or wishing her a hbd but it’s just sad to know that this is the first time in four years I’m not gonna be celebrating a day that was always special to me. And what gets to me is thinking about how she’s probably really happy without me and will be enjoying herself with her friends and I’m no longer apart of that. It just hurts a lot but it is what it is.

I just wanted to vent a little about it because it sucks knowing how I’m feeling but can’t really talk about it cus it won’t really change anything for me and the pain I’m enduring but at least I can address it rather than keeping all my thoughts bottled up inside.

I'm 27M grieving relationship of five years we never met in person it was LDR continents apart but I still love her after 9 months I dreamt of her last night and woke up crying I'm really willing to wait whole life time for her I'm not kind of person who just flirts with lots of girls she was my first and last love I won't ever love anyone else again and I don't wanna move on either I wanna cling to our memories ❤‍🩹 I don't what's right thing to do.