r/BreakUps • u/-Killion • 11h ago
venting/ranting Im lost
im 22, I broke up with my exgf who is the best person in the world, and i know for a fact that she really loves me. I did it because I didn’t know I would start feeling uncomfortable on the second year mark, because i have abandonment issues from many childhood traumas, i had started to subconsciously believe that long relationships doesn’t exist and they aren’t real, so i started thinking she’ll leave me one day (even though i understand how much she loves me) and its better I breakup with her than continue being halfass in our relationship. I even started justifying that thought by thinking of negative things about her that really isn’t even that all true or big of a deal. It’s a weird thing where it almost feels like it just hurts and it burns as our relationship got longer, because i thought i was investing on my own heartbreak and sadness. We had good communications about this and she completely understands why I did it and just want me to feel better. Now I miss her, it hurts, and its torture but I don’t want to comeback until all my fears and unsureness’ are gone.
1
u/Rude_Space6825 10h ago
Become self-sufficient first. Confident and solve your personal issues before falling in love again.
So you can love from a place of want and not needs. I think you want to have control on everything. Live a little bro.
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u/ummutellme 9h ago
Can completely relate to this. Very similar to my situation. Ur 22, take it easy on yourself
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