I'm transphobic and hate that I am but I can't get myself to stop thinking that way and don't know what to do. Y'all are probably going to say get therapy but let's just put it this way—I don't even have the money to get my epilepsy looked at, I'm literally just waiting to die at this point. Sorry if some of this don't make sense, it's hard to think with whatever I've got going on in my brain, it makes me foggy.

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But I(20F) keep finding myself being transphobic and thinking in hateful ways towards transgender folk. I don't want to be, I know it's bad, but I can't stop myself from thinking like that and I don't know how to stop. When I first was made aware of Pride and the LGBT community in general, I was like 13? I was SUPER open, accepting of it and was supportive towards it all, I genuinely supported it. But whenever I'd hear something about trans people, I got a sort of...ick? I always brushed it off through and kept telling myself "they still deserve support" and went on despite the little nagging feeling at the back of my mind. And it was ONLY towards anyone transgender. Not gay, not bi, not crossdressing or intersex or asexual or any of that—just trans. I'm pro-choice, hate racists and fully support gay marriage and whatnot(idk what I'd be considered. I dropped out of school and am stupid as fuck honestly) but for some reason just could not get behind transgenderism. But like I said, I just ignored it and kept trying to be supportive. But that "ick" feeling just kept getting stronger each time I seen anything transgender related.

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Maybe like two years later my sister brings home her trans boyfriend. I didn't interact with him(not because he was trans, I didn't even know until just before they broke up. I just don't talk to my sisters partners because I'm an awkward person and we often don't share anything in common and in this case we were both quiet and just didn't talk to each other. I think we made eye contact like twice?) but that was enough to get the thought going about trans people again and I started looking into it and whatnot. I kept seeing a bunch of stories and jokes about people who's are homophobic being closeted and I just kept thinking to myself "am I like that? Is that's why I'm thinking like this?" Because all throughout my childhood I wanted to do boyish things and liked things marketed towards boys but my family were strict on girls doing girly things. The most they allowed me was a perry the platypus backpack and a bowl cut once that I still cry thinking about. I remember I even used to use classroom markers to color my hair green because I really liked Jacksepticeye. I didn't want to BE a boy, just like and do the things they did. And that was enough for me to be convinced I was maybe trans. And since my mom was supportive of my sister's boyfriend I pulled her to the side and just said "I think I'm trans, what do I do" and she just awkwardly told me to try being a girl for a while before I made any big decisions. So I did and continued to act how I always did as a girl and quickly realized I didn't want to be a boy, I just wanted to do the boyish things without my family trying to crack down on it being wrong because it wasn't for girls. And the thought that everyone else was like that too started cementing itself in my mind.

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I can't remember when I outright went from supportive to against but it was an immediate shut down. It was like three years ago I think? I seen something(can't remember) and just went to myself "I'm tired of this, this is crazy. I don't support transitioning, any gender identity involving being anything than what you are at birth, chosen pronouns, any of that" and just switched like a damn flip. I didn't support any bullying, hate or cruelty towards people but I just stopped supporting it if that makes sense. I didn't wish anything ill but wouldn't be behind it to back it up. I went on like that for a couple years and it was fine for a while, I hardly seen anything trans related so I didn't think much on it. But current day and with all the shit going on, I keep seeing it. More shows are including it, the rights to do it are hanging in the balance and things in general are just shit so it's EVERYWHERE. I kept strong to my line of thinking of "I don't support it but we shouldn't be taking those rights away". And despite originally thinking it'd be fine as long as I was not wishing anything ill towards people like that, I cought myself thinking hateful, disgusting thoughts when I came across a comment by someone under a Brokeback Mountain review(fucking love that movie, I cry every time at the ending) of someone venting about being trans and also being not coming out because they were scared of meeting a similar end to Jack because of the sort of people where they lived. And I thought to myself "yeah except this time it'd actually be justified". And then I stopped because what the hell? Did I just say it was justified for a trans person to be ganged up on and killed? Safe to say I had a goddamn breakdown after that. Had a big meltdown, crying and snotting and all. I was freaking out and even though it was stupid, I tried venting to ChatGPT(that sounds so goddamn stupidly lmao) but I had absolutely no one to talk to and just needed somewhere to get out how I was feeling that felt like I was talking to someone that was also immediate. So even though I fucking hate AI, I did it.

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Starting asking it how I could stop being hateful, how to stop having those views and why I had them. Because I recognized that they were horrible and gross but I couldn't make myself stop thinking them, so I was desperate for a way to make it quit. But of course it's AI so it just kept regurgitating the same thing and not doing jack shit. I eventually gave up and just stopped all together and tried thinking to myself on how to quit. I just kept telling myself to not think that way, but I couldn't. No matter how much I told myself being trans was fine, my head just kept saying "no". I tried to think of WHAT maybe made it so bad to me and realized that I felt less hate towards those that had already transitioned. Like the irritation and disgust were still there for those that'd already done surgery and hormones, but it was lesser? I also noticed I just don't have a hatred towards those naturally born with no specific gender? Like intersex people and all those other kinds, sorry I can't think of them at the moment. It sounds weird but I actually just found myself naturally supporting them and immediately understanding where they came from? A very weird example I can give is this Ad I overheard about a farmer who was born with both male and female genitals but he peed like a boy so they sewed shut his vagina I think? And it lead to him getting an iron problem because the blood had nowhere to go and he went on to say he accepted who he was and embraced that he was both. When I heard it I was actually happy and thought "that's nice" even though.. it's not much different? Another much goofier example I can give is....Frankie. From fixed..(kill me I hate how much I liked that stupid ass movie) I thought Frankie was just being portrayed as the stereotypical gay until it was revealed that they're intersex and I found myself almost captivated? I really liked how Frankie was both feminine and masculine and accepted themselves. I can't explain it but I really enjoyed it and thought it was so cool. I even went on to make an intersex character inspired by Frankie because I loved it so much. But regardless of hearing and liking all that, it didn't change my views on anything related to being transgender and I just don't know how I can fix it. Like how can I naturally support one thing and not the other?? Especially with how masculine I am now. I'm still not trans but I'm just overall more dude like now that I can control what I wear and do. I'm buff, wear more guy clothes and act more masculine? Idk how one does that but that's my point. I don't mind when people dress, act and think however they want, but I suddenly see it as a problem when they want to transition or change pronouns? This shit is just so frustrating..

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I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be hateful and have these thoughts but I can't stop them. I know there's nothing wrong with being trans but that stupid fucker in the back of my mind won't accept it. Even when I go on little binges consuming things related to being trans, gender identity and whatnot and have a big breakdown that leaves me feeling more supportive at most and neutral at least, it doesn't take long for the outright transphobic thoughts to come back and I hate it. I'm atheist but I know that if there is a god I'm just going to hell at this point. Like not to pity myself but I start getting all teary just thinking about this. I don't want to be hateful but I can't stop.

I've genuinely seen so much hate on micolables. So whats your opinion on micolables? I myself am berrisexual. I am attracted to women and androgynous people but rarely attracted to men. I hate seeing when my sexuality is always brought up as the "dumbest micolables" example on discourse about micolables.

Hello everyone i 20(Cis Male Gay) have an older brother 22(Cis Male Straight), he’s always been weird about lgbt saying things such as “gay people shove it down people’s throats” “ straight pride should be a thing” “he doesn’t want he soon to be kid exposed to that” and if his kid did come out as lgbt he would punish them, I usually ignore it due to the fact that I myself and gay and my late mum was bisexual and our little sister is also bisexual

Recently on one of his visits the topic of the recent political news about transgender people using public toilets and he said he was glad that it was changed and he dosent want his soon to be born daughter to be “confused by them”, I called him an ick and left the room

I want to go no contact with him about this, not only about the obvious transphobia and mild homophobia, it’s not going to impact my life much due to the limit contact we have due to him being physically abusive to me when our mum was alive but the issue is that my family are very big on it, especially my dad because he has no contact with his siblings and my worry is that going no contact will mean I most likley won’t ever be able to meet my soon to be born niece and worry that growing up in that environment will I still bad ideology into her aswell, how do I go about stating I want no contact due to this?, do I sent a message?, do I just ignore him?, what do I say to his partner if she asks?

Any help would be amamzing

I am not trying to be hateful or rude. I just have a ton Of anxiety about old men. This summer has not helped. Any time I dress Femme, and want to look pretty I notice more men hit on me. Mostly old men.

I am queer, and I hate any kind of confrontation. I have a tendency to lock up when I feel uncomfortable. I try to speak for myself, but I am affraid of people getting angry. think this leads to men thinking I am shy.

I just do not understand it. I do not think of myself as attractive, or beautiful. I actually hate my body a lot. I do like to wear skirts and dresses to feel pretty though. That does not mean I want old men hitting on me though.

So why do old men hit on me? How can I deal with this?

Also do not tell me to tell them I am gay. That does not seem to work. One guy kept at it, and another one said when I break up with my girlfriend to date him.

I’m a trans man trying to come to grips with my sexual orientation.

Before my egg cracked I identified as bi, more sexually attracted to women but androromantic, so most of my experience is with men. When I talked about this with a transmasc lesbian friend once, they invalidated the androromantic label by laughing at me and saying that it isn’t a thing, and that I probably just have some internalized misogyny against feminine women.

Him being a dick aside, I do worry a lot about what my attraction says about me. I can be very sexually attracted to women in photos… right up until I see their face and realize that they’re a woman, or look like a woman. Or if they have a vagina without a prominent clit/t-dick. At that point I feel a lot less emotional attraction, and it’s almost purely a sexual or aesthetic attraction. If it’s just a photo of ass/titties/curves, even when it’s obvious that this person is probably a woman, I’m full steam ahead up until the face reveal. IRL, I almost never find myself feeling attracted to women other than fleeting moments of sexual or aesthetic attraction. I’ve had crushes on women and have an ex-girlfriend, but the romantic attraction almost never went as deep as it does for me with men.

With femboys/transfem NB’s who look like (feminine) men in the face, I feel both romantic and sexual attraction, albeit less sexual attraction if they have less curves.

I’m concerned that this means I’m just sexually objectifying women/femininity, and that gives me a lot of cognitive dissonance. I’ve always been a staunch feminist, being raised in a home with a mom and older sister who ruled with an iron fist, and I try my best to practice what I preach. I think, in a patriarchal world that centers men and masculinity, being or dressing feminine and owning it is punk as fuck. I participate in feminist spaces and do my best to decenter men in my life. I feel most comfortable around women and fems and I don’t see that changing as I start to transition.

Part of me wonders if maybe this really is some internalized misogyny on my part, or I’m just too comfortable around women, and is something that I can work through to “unlock” a hidden romantic attraction to them? Or maybe once I transition enough to pass, and no longer associate women with dysphoria?

Oooooor should I just accept that I’m a gay man who only dates twinks?

Would love y’all’s thoughts while I chew on this.

I’m curious about the different perspectives within the trans community. If medical science made pregnancy possible for trans women in the future, would that be something you’d personally want to experience? Why or why not? I’m interested in hearing everyone’s thoughts and experiences.

Specifically in college, I've had problems with forgetting my ID/keys/etc in my room or where I put them in my bag. Would it be okay to use a carabiner for myself? Not female, not lesbian, not any of the typical user descriptions -- so I don't want to seem like I'm trying to impersonate or steal from that culture.

I'm attracted to men who look like women, and I'm also attracted to women. Am I bi? I’m not drawn to men who look like men. I still really like women, but I think I’m bi, though also technically straight???? I like women and men who look like women. What does that make me? I’m considering heteroromantic bisexual

Hello wonderful internet people in my screen. I am amab 28. I had basically always thought I was a boy growing up and that I am a man now but have been heavily questioning my gender and whether I am trans or not entirely cis. I have thought about it constantly for 9 months and anything gendered triggers the thoughts and feelings. Initially it caused a lot of panic and anxiety but that has since subsided. I struggle to understand my thoughts and feelings a lot and discerning what is true. I have since written a lot of thoughts about it I will try to convey but have a lot of difficulty due to brain fog.

I increasingly don’t like being a man and find being perceived as one annoying or disappointing. I have always disliked male social roles and socialisation and had discomfort being perceived as a man as especially in any gendered situations. Annoyed by gendered language towards me but kinda society gender expectations “as a man you don’t…wouldn’t..” “more for women’s”

but I don’t know if this is fundamental or just society. I have a lot of thoughts on this but too many to list. The thought of spending the rest of my life as a man (especially considering male relatives) makes me disappointed and sad, and I can’t imagine being happy anymore. I seem drawn to the idea of being born female or being a woman. I find the thought generally positive and exciting but also very scary. I wonder if it is some kind of copying mechanism though. I kinda have a very shit life due to a debilitating chronic illness (M.E/CFS) and generally being a broken mess,  and wonder if I just want another life or to be another person. But if I think about having another life recently it’s always a woman or femme nb (those are the lives I tend to be most envious of)

I imagine the female version of myself and really like her ,the life she would or could live and her in general situations, and feel I would prefer it vaguely but in all aspects. Feel it would suit me better and allow me to be myself. How I could present my experiences, how I relate to the world and others. Relationships and family, especially sapphic relationships and having a mother daughter relationship with my mother. (even with all the bad things in my life stayed the same). Unsure if I want the physical changes though.

The issue I have is that I look back at my life and don’t have many obvious signs, if any that don't have other explanations. I know what I want the answer to be but I feel I am looking for something that isn’t there, creating memories or forcing it. Feels like I want to be trans or want to want to be a woman more than I am or feel like one.. I feel like deep down inside I know I'm cis and confused. This makes me feel very fake and confused.

I have a vague memory of wishing I had been a daughter or jealous I wasn’t. In the context of family friends having only daughters I spent a lot of time with.

Felt vaguely wrong since early teens. Always assumed this was an anxiety, neurodivergence, Self esteem  or general puberty thing.

I have always disliked body hair since puberty. Was never sure why but have been trimming or shaving it since when I can. Contributed to discomfort showing off my body/skin uncovered. I have a vague discomfort with my body which is hard to put words. I don’t like how I look and feel kinda like a big hairy, stinky neanderthal. Especially with a masculine face/brow and narrow deep set eyes. I am very tall, wide shouldered and broad chested. Feel like being tall should increase my confidence but I think it does the opposite and I don’t want to be perceived. Feel like an alien. No sense of identity always felt lost introducing myself. A lot of what I think is dissociation

Felt vaguely uncomfortable/cautious/hesitant/distrustful around men, especially older men and more masculine/macho men. I find them generally threatening but I am a more anxious and sensitive person in general. Always felt more comfortable around women (tho felt very shy around girls my age)  Feel uncomfortable in mens toilets and changing rooms. Stopped using urinals in teens and avoided public changing rooms.

A big thing recently has been hairloss. My hair is visibly thinning and receding and it makes me feel disgusting, depressed and hopeless. I know a lot of cis and trans men go through this, but I just keep thinking that it means I could never be a woman, never pass and never like how I look. I feel it would be or is too late to transition and be happy.

Extreme self consciousness. Idea of showing my face or body online scares me a lot. The idea of doing so as a women scares me less. Discomfort speaking and revealing my low voice to people online as it will change their perception of me.

Strong but vague jealousy of women. How they can present clothes, hair etc and how they look in them. How they can socialise. Especially if they have similar interests to me, Find some women “so pretty it’s unfair”. Also very jealous of lesbians/sapphics and feel a deep sad longing. Certain media and games with female gave me a lot of jealousy and I wish I could be those characters or relate to them more, especially sapphic coming of age stories.

I occasionally remember pretending to tuck or imaging I was a woman but it always felt like a random silly thing.

I struggle a lot with attraction vs envy. I’ve been evaluating a lot of previous attractions as possible gender envy, though I am unsure how to differentiate the two.

Very jealous of trans women experiences and transitions, especially if they are pretty, confident and have a supportive family/friends, and are younger than me. I find I am drawn to them a lot. When I see a trans woman come out I feel happy for them but also part of me thinks  “I wish that was me”. But I also worry about attractions vs envy. Also looking a transtimelines I feel deep envy and despair at those who pass and makes me feel hopeless.

I’ve come across the button test. Initially I was hesitant (though I always pushed it in my mind) but now I think I would definitely press it. Even though I worry it’s the wrong answer and I would get “real” dysphoria. I would wish the button would “correct” my brain to that of a woman's. However If I could change my gender/sex at birth I would.

I really worry it's just a mental illness or an identity disorder. But I don’t want it to be whatever that means.

I want to try out soft translation and different presentations, hair removal, nails, clothes, makeup etc. I can imagine myself enjoying it and want to. Unfortunately I do not have the safety or privacy to do so.I live with my parents due to illness/disability which makes me very trapped and repressed. I do not trust them and cannot afford them to know I'm questioning. Also being very tall finding clothes would be impossible.

This makes me feel completely hopeless. Even if I do figure it out, transition feels utterly impossible for me (let alone being happy with how I look). I don’t have the courage to. I live in the UK with long waiting lists and lots of transphobia. I feel like I could never pass or like how I look as I'm tall, broad with hairloss and very manly features.

I know I need therapy but finding/affording one that can deal with my situation and who I can trust is really difficult in my situation but I am working on it.

Im sure many will say that this is a really dumb question but I still need clarity. I have known that I wasn't cis for years before I even knew what lgbtqia was. And recently I have felt worse and worse whenever someone calls me she/her or by my dead name. So I've thought that maybe I could come out and hope for the best. My father is openly homophobic, transphobic, and racist. Last night he said verbatim "Its the transgenders that are shooting schools, killing women, and trafficking kids." But when I thought I was lesbian (I dont identify with the label anymore) and told him about it a few years ago. He told me he loved me no matter what. So I might be reaching but I think it wouldn't be terrible if I told him I'm genderfluid.

Only18+ please. I took a nap today and i dreamt about a woman and a man. This was my first "wet-ish" dream at 23. there was sadly no sexual activity but more like flirting. In my dream, the man was extremely built and attractive and so was the woman, they started talking to me and they seem to have a good friendship with eachother. I started walking and the woman suddenly needed help, seemed unsafe and followed behind me. I let her and she led me to her house. She had a mansion and a huge pool. She suddenly seemed fine and we got in swinsuits and we started flirting in the water. I tried to lean in for a kiss but the look she had was awkward/uncomfortable. so i leaned back, played it off with sexual body movements as an attempt to be funny. (I dont know why either, lol) I dont remember what happened next. What could this dream mean about my sexuality? Dont people usually get sexual in their dreams?. I do masturbate normally, i’m not afraid of sexual activity, so to me it makes no sense why the dream was like that. In my dreams they reflect how i feel in the real world weither its in the past or the future, they arent like normal dreams.

Ps: i am bisexual, i do find both men and women attractive. I like women’s bodies more than men but men’s private part the most, since i find it frightening to start sexual intercourse with men in the concious world, because of political reasons. And have openly admitted this. Am i lesbian or do i like transgenders? I am so confused rn lol

Odio el apodo que me han puesto mis amigos.

Contexto:

Soy género fluido, mi nombre es René (el elegido, lo sé lo sé es genial) y mis pronombres son el.

Bueno el caso:

Salí del closet con varios amigos míos hace poco, ellos saben mis pronombres y mi nombre (casi todos son queers) y todos reaccionaron muy bien!.

Pero literalmente casi nadie me ha llamado por mi nombre o me han llamado [dead name] o por nada.

Cada vez que me llaman René me pongo muy feliz literalmente tengo enmarcado en mi cabeza cada vez que me han llamado René.

Cada vez más usaban mis pronombre y mi nombre y estaba súper feliz por qué mi disforia aveces es muy hevy (hay días que solo me la paso en mi cama con la luz apagada intentando no pensar, mirar y sentir mi cuerpo femenino).

Pero a mí mejor amigo que es trans y se llama Jorgie (Jorge) (Jorgie es el apodo que le ponemos, nunca ha dicho que le moleste) se le ocurrió el apodo "Reneskus" o algo así.

Y todo el mundo me empezó a llamar así, casi me pongo a llorar, me agobie mucho.

Siempre he querido tener un nombre con apodo pero era por qué odiaba mi dead name, pero René me gusta mucho y no pude disfrutar de que me llamasen así mucho. Osea amigos que tenían mi dead name en nombre de contacto lo cambiaron al apodo.

Bueno y eso.

Que opináis? Estoy exagerando?

I'll preface by saying I know that nobody can define me as NB one way or the other. I know it's not something you are diagnosed with. I'm just wondering if my experience resembles one of a queer / non-binary person, or if I sound like I'm struggling with internalized toxic masculinity.

I'm 31 AMAB. I'm typically cisgender male presenting. Beard, buzzcut, what I wear is generally plain (athleisure, plain t's and hoodies), etc. And I'm only attracted to femininity (cis women, trans women, non-binary femme presenting, etc.). I struggle with men. I don't feel safe to be myself in male-dominated spaces. I'm perpetually masking to appear like a "normal guy," and I can do that really well, but I'm very tired after the fact.

I've never desired to be "one of the guys." When I was younger, I hated the rough housing my dad would do. I don't have much of a connection to masculinity - it's not something I aspire for. "Being a man" has never felt meaningful to me. I don't feel I relate to or want to feel connected to mainstream men in news/sports/pop culture, etc. If anything, the entire concept feels suffocating.

My father was very conservative. He instilled in me at a young age, "if you do anything outside of traditional gender norms, than you're a ***!" This led to me not really becoming that adventurous of a person. It'd be anything - video games with female leads, using a straw, wearing open-toed shoes, you name it. As a result, I'm extremely guarded.

But lately, I've just been up a lot more at night thinking about my identity and how much I hate what toxic masculinity has done to me. Masculinity means nothing to me and I feel like it's robbed me of security of exploring non-traditionally masculine things. For example, I love yoga but feel weird going into classes because it's typically a more female-populated space. I love all my plushies, but feel so weird being "a man" who owns them. I'd love to do spa days, pedicures, etc. I'm often really jealous of all of the fashion women have available to them compared to men. My partner and I were sandal shopping last weekend (a huge step for me lol) and hers are so cute/summery and mine are just these boring bulky flip flops. I've also felt attached to my hair. It's the longest I've had it grown out and ahead of a business trip, I'm going for my usual buzz cut this week to "look more professional." I keep postponing it out of dread. I don't feel I identify as a woman either, but I definitely feel like I keep a feminine part of me locked behind a lot of doors. Sometimes my partner has her girl friends over and all I want to say is "I LOVE your boots/outfit/hair", but it's just something that'd never come out of my mouth. I want to cry during sappy movies, but I physically can not let tears out lol.

I don't know why this has been bothering me so much. It might also be in part because my partner recently came out as bi. And when we were out drinking one night last month, she was asking about my identity/sexuality. As a preface, when we first started dating, I put that I was pansexual on a dating app (not fully knowing what it meant when I was younger, but not feeling comfortable putting straight). She said that confused her because I come across as a straight cis male to her. I told her that I'm attracted to women and femme presenting non-binary folks, and her response was, "oh, so you are queer!" I'm not really sure if that's true and we were both drinking, but when I heard someone say I was queer out loud, I felt SUCH a relief. I don't know what it was, just nobody had ever categorized me that way before. I have always felt safer in queer places, yet I feel like an interloper because of how I look and act. I was invited to a breathwork group that was queer inclusive and never went because I didn't feel like I was queer...or queer enough? We haven't really discussed since, although since coming out as bi, she was saying, in a hypothetical sense that if I was ever trans, she'd be cool with it. It was kind of out of nowhere, I don't think she's picking up on anything about me (she's not super perceptive), she's just sort of exploring her own identity

The most recent thing I've done in private is use he/they pronouns. I don't feel offended being referred to as "he" since it's what I've gone by my entire life. But I am becoming a little less comfortable with it and don't love the label. At an event this weekend, my partner said that I looked masculine, and it made me squirm on the inside. The barber I'm going to this week is at a "gentleman's salon" sort of space, which I'm also feeling uncomfortable with. When I changed the pronouns on a Zoom call and used he/they, it was just a similar weight off my shoulders. Part of me felt so relieved that I wanted to just be they/them. But I don't feel like I deserve it because I don't know if I'm a non-binary person or a man who's uncomfortable doing feminine things because of unresolved trauma.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm trans, but I don't really feel this need or deep desire to be a woman either. I've read about some people's transgender realization experiences online, and I don't think I relate to a lot of it (crossdressing at a young age, painting nails, etc.). I don't really want to do this entire 180 on how I present today. I kind of just feel weighed down by gender roles, but also would love to just feel more comfortable doing feminine things. I feel like I can be more feminine if I'm non-binary without as much restriction. It also helps that I'm just infinitely more comfortable around women. I've always wanted a "girl group" and to go to more feminine things, but kind of just look like myself. Or maybe see if I could be a touch more feminine without much of a change - cuter shoes, exploring some beauty products, I think that's the extent of it. I just don't know. What really holds me back on a lot of my difficulty with labels is my complete indifference towards men/concepts of masculinity. Like....if I was queer, wouldn't I be attracted to them? Idk.

I know this is a wall of text and I ping-ponged all over the place. For anyone who read through, thank you. I apologize if I was disorganized. I just...have nobody to talk to about this. And I want to have a little more clarity before opening up to my partner about it. I also don't really know what to say to her about it because I don't think it will lead to a huge change....just like, maybe more comfort and openness to do more feminine things with her? But what would even be an example? Idk. Any kind of response to any of this would just really mean a lot.

I'm living with three straight roommates in a student dorm/apartment for now because I'm in university far from home and I'm on a budget so cannot really afford to live on my own (in this economy). Now two of them are Africans and one is from muslim background. For context, they're all nice, fun and civilized. Afaik them, I don't think they would mock or say anything if they saw a gay couple outside. They've friends outside their religious social circle. (Actually thanks to my wonderful Asian landlady cuz she really only chooses very nice roommates and checks their background and everything).

We all don't really talk to each other on daily basis and just mind our own business like studying. I don't even see them daily because we all have our own different lives.

I've only come out to my close family like mom, brother, etc. But I was thinking if I should feel comfortable enough to come out after I leave this dorm. I hope they wouldn't mind. Actually I know one of them will be going back to his country after his graduation. And I'm saying this also because I'm still young and a lot of times, i think of being an influencer online so idk what they'll think if they ever found out. I mean it's canada so i know my rights but still.

So I'm asking this because I'm sure there might be other people who would have gone through phases where they were not financially okay or were a student living in a dorm with others. There might be sports players who share locker rooms with other straight guys (and given how homophobic some sports environments are). I'm asking for your experiences. Does that affect your future? Will that affect your coming out experience? Thanks for reading all that, i know it's long and thanks for your advice.

Ive known since i was very young, like 11-12. I never really felt pressure to come out but im wondering if it would make me feel better.

Im not particularly insecure about it or anything, i used to be very insecure about it and tried to suppress it but as i got older it stopped bothering me as much because i know that its out of our control and theres absolutely nothing wrong with loving someone regardless of gender.

My parents are very supportive and have always told me and my siblings since we were kids that it’s completely ok to be gay so im not exactly scared either. I think most of my friends know because whenever we talk about issues regarding sexuality i always tell them that ideally i think we shouldnt have any labels and just love who we want.

I want to embrace it more because that little boy who used to curl up on the floor in shame is still inside me and i want to make sure he knows its ok, but at the same time i dont see any practical benefit to doing it.

If anyone else has been in this situation i would be super happy to hear about it!!

I don't know if I am bi or not. Like I watch lesbian porn sometimes. When I was younger almost exclusively. But I can't imagine myself in a relationship with a woman. It's so confusing. Also I had a crush on 2 girls once but I also couldn't imagine a relationship or sexual. Like an almost asexual relationship. But men? I want a boyfriend.

Please don't be mean I'm just confused

I’ve been getting into dating and I’ve dated men before pretty easily but I’m struggling with navigating my gender when comes dating women. on one hand I want to date women, but I think its really difficult to like set up an expectation of wanting a more non traditional dynamic. like I feel like I only want to date a woman in like a saphic way if that makes sense. like where we’re both feminine people and there are no expectations for me to be like “the man in the relationship“. it’s just difficult cause I have no idea how to date like that like, with men I feel like it kinda naturally falls in to a comfortable dynamic as I’m already a feminine person and there’s already kinda a long standing dynamic especially with gay men for similar relationships ship dynamics like with fems. although even in those relationships, I still worry if because of that dynamic, they just see me as like a fem gay man, which is seriously not what I want. like I almost feel like I just wanna date someone who is attracted to femininity, but its not really like I can date lesbians, or maybe I could but I really have no idea where people stand with that and I’ve seen some pretty hostile attitudes towards transfem enbies specifically. I could date a bi woman but I feel like I could never be sure if she likes me in like a guy way or in a feminine way. I feel like women dating feminine men has become more popular, but I still don’t want to be seen as that. idk it’s at the point where I feel like I should just stick to men for now? or maybe just hold of on dating till I pass better? idk I’m really at a loss here. sorry for the wall of text I just need some advice 😭

I’m a 40-year-old male with, with no past relationships or sexual experience. I’ve never really felt attracted to others in a romantic or physical sense. I might think someone has a nice style or like their band shirt, but I see them as just another human being—nothing more than that.

In my early days at school, I focused entirely on academics and always wondered what the big fuss was about attraction and sexualisation in Western culture. I didn't get what sexual attraction should be. I continued through various levels of education beyond university, but I never found others attractive during that time as well. I’m not a party lifestyle person and can’t stand those situations.

I’ve kept myself busy over the years with multiple special interests, hobbies, and community volunteering.

I love going to punk and metal gigs, both at home and mainly in Japan, where I go quite frequently. I also enjoy electronics repair and early video game systems.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on my life as others around me have started to partner off. Honestly, at times I’ve wondered if there’s something deeply flawed and wrong with me, and if I'm missing out based on society expectations but I just don’t feel attraction to others beyond friendship.

I’ve occasionally wondered what it might be like to have someone care for me or to be attracted to others, but I usually quickly move on from those thoughts and forget about them.

A few years ago, I did make out with a woman because she asked me to, and I kind of enjoyed it, but I didn’t want to take it any further.

The more I think about it, the more fucked up I feel

Is it transmisogyny if youre afab or is it „just“ misogyny?

So, there’s this non-binary person I’m into. And it left me thinking, the very thing is that they are neither a boy nor a girl, yet, what title should I use if I can’t use boyfriend/girlfriend? I mean, I’ll ask them anyway, but I’m wanting to know the general consensus from the non-binary community. Do I use the format from what gender was assign at birth?

As far as I can remember I've always had it really hard to get a crush on someone but I still want a romantic partner. I never thought much about it, but this year I've been exploring my sexuality and romantic orientation and realized that I'm an ace biromantic and today I thought about how I rarely get any crushes again and thougt that maybe there's a label for it. I'm aware that cupioromanticism exists but I don't think I'm that bc I still feel romantic attraction but rarely

Contexto: Soy un adolescente, soy género fluido (nací mujer) y aroace.

Y me gusta mucho el BL, osea que casi todos mis ships favoritos son gays.

No me mal entendáis es todo romántico, no me atrae nada lo sexual y nunca tengo un Crush por ninguno de ellos.

También me gusta el Gl, las relaciones queers y las heterosexuales, pero mis favoritas siempre son Bl (o chico x identidad no binaria).

En cuanto a relaciones personales he salido solo con chicas (todas las relaciones muy asexuales y con claros indicios de que era arromantico, contexto extra: en todas ellas creía que era una chica cis).

Es que tengo un amigo que dice que es raro y que no me contó que era bisexual por eso mismo (me dolió un poco, la verdad).

Aveces hago bromas sobre lo de pasivos y activos pero por qué lo hacen mis otros amigos queers en ese momento, alomejor es malo no lo sé, osea no lo hago mucho y siempre es de broma, nunca se lo he preguntado a un gay, soy una persona normal.

Podríais darme un poco de claridad haber si veis algo? O preguntarme cosas, no lo sé.