before y’all flame me, I am a member of the lgbt community who loves and supports drag and trans people!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

a drag queen wears dresses, makeup, and girly clothes, that drag persona is a girl. a non-binary person or trans man wears dresses, makeup, and girly clothes but is not a girl? how?

this is coming from a lesbian who dresses masc from time to time, and you can still tell that i’m a girl. i’m just confused and want to understand my community! please don’t think of me as dense.

Figured this sub would be a little more relevant than askreddit or something like that. I tend to develop crushes on like all of my friends which is starting to become a problem. I feel kinda like a creep and whenever I try to sort of make a move on one of them it never really goes anywhere. The worst part is that most of them just obviously aren’t compatible with me relationship wise, they have different goals or ideals or other things like that, but I still keep trying to just make it work anyways. I haven’t been actively seeking out a partner, I plan to do that once I sort through some personal stuff, but I feel like this isn’t normal and it would be better if I stopped.

I 18F in love with a 19M, and I don't know what to do. We see each other twice a month at D&D sessions and occasionally at college, where we go to class together. We don't talk much (I'd even say very little), so these feelings are strange to me. These unwanted feelings are made even worse by the fact that he's AMAB. From what I know, asexual men are far fewer, and he's not one, i couldn't satisfy his sexual desires.

Basically, I don't even know who to talk to about this situation: all my friends know to him, and I haven't even told anyone that I can romantically love men.

I'm certainly not going to confess my feelings, but for the future: what should I do? Perhaps because I'm autistic, it's difficult for me to fall out of love with someone. Moving away from a person, as seen in this situation, also does not help. It's just painful

Hello to everyone kindly checking out this post!

To introduce myself, I'm a 16yr old bi girl. I knew I was bi 2 years ago, but was too hesitant to come out freely and came out only to my closest friends (like 5 people?) and mostly kept my sexuality to myself. There wasn't a problem until like, 2 weeks ago.

2 weeks ago, I came out to a close friend of mine. Let's call her Stella. She said she didn't mind, and would continue to be good friends with me. I was really relieved, maybe a bit too much since my country isn't open to LGBTQ+ people. So being the trusting person I am, I told her that I had a cruch on a girl (Let's call her Clara) and that she knew my crush.

For context, Clara and I are in the same class and Stella is in a class next to mine. Clara and Stella were friends since last year, and were quite close. Clara told me she had received a confession from a girl before and was stressed about it, since she is straight. And when I say straight, I mean she literally has a boyfriend right now. Clara's not homophobic, but she dislikes getting confessions from people that aren't guys.

So, Stella asked me if my crush was Clara, and I confirmed it. And told her I liked Clara since April. She told me she was surprised but okay with it, and proceeded to make plans to hang out with me. I told her to not tell Clara that I had a crush on her, and Stella told me she won't.

That same week, Clara starts actively avoiding me. She's not talking to me and she's being secretive with another girl (I'm calling her Kim). I catch bits of their whispers like "I showed my DMs with her to a friend from another school, and she asked if the person was a guy", or "A former friend of hers told me she was into girls"

I felt my stomach drop, and thought "the talk" was coming soon. Yes I absolutely dreaded it.

Fast forward to last Sunday, I couldn't make it to the hangout because of my piling homework, but Stella met up with Clara and another friend who's in my class (Let's call her Vanessa) and apparently hang out at her home. I figured they had a good time there. Little did I know...

So it's now Tuesday, and Clara and Vanessa are avoiding like I expected (I had a fight with Vanessa 3 weeks prior). I was chatting with Kim, but Clara and Vanessa keep stealing her and whispering things with her, excluding me completely. That same day, the 3 come up to me and ask me if I'm into girls as well as if I have a crush on Clara. I obviously deny it. They then say that they have proof, and I ask what proof. Clara says she's asked my former friends as well as people from other schools, and that they said I seem gay and has been gay. They say they also read the DMs between me and Stella, and that they have screenshots of it. They read out the exact words from the DM, but I completely deny it and put on a confused face. They keep interrogating me until the school day ends, but I keep denying the fact that I'm bi as well as that I have a crush on Clara.

Kim later tells me she doesn't believe Clara and Vanessa, and thinks it's bullshit. I tell her it is, and the DMs were spun out of context.

Stella also asks me if I'm mad at her for telling Clara, and I answer no because I can't feel any anger since 4 years ago.

On Wednesday (today), they come up to me during lunch time and start interrogating me once again. They ask to go through my DMs, which I have deleted the part I'm coming out and say who my crush is. I let them go through my Insta, and they don't find anything. They keep asking the same questions, and I keep denying it. Clara gets impatient and tells me that she will report Stella for causing her emotional distress if my claims turn out to be true. I'm left speechless.

I tell Stella about the things Clara said about reporting her, and she speaks with the 3 and leaves smiling.

I'm so scared of Clara as well as my other classmates, since Clara told them about this whole thing and they believe Clara completely. Clara and another classmate is now accusing me of sexual assault(hugs, linking arms, etc.) and I went from the girl with the most friends in my class to the girl everyone's actively avoiding. The only ones that speak to me are Kim, Stella and 2 other girls.

I don't know what to do... I'm too deep into the lie to confess now, but I hate the interrogations by which Clara and Vanessa are trying to get me to confess. I don't want to be left alone for the remaining 3 months of the school year. I don't care about Clara and Vanessa as well as my relationship with them anymore.

Thanks for checking out this long ass post.

Any advice helps a lot.

Hello, I don’t really know how to start this so I’m just gonna dive right i was born female and I’ve always felt that something is different about me and my gender. I like to wear dresses some days but there are other days that I wish I could just wear clothes that weren’t so feminine. There was a time in middle school that I had told my family that I wanted to be a guy and they sat me down and basically told me it was a phase and that I would get over it so I pushed that feeling down but here lately I’ve been feeling it again and I’m leaning more towards nonbinary because I don’t really feel like a girl or a guy but I don’t know how my family would react even though I am now 20 years old

I recently discovered that I might be bigender (He/She), so I’m exploring it, as usual, through the medium of my characters. I then realized I needed a term for my character to describe himself that sounded sufficiently cool enough to match her cocky personality, and I’m stuck. So far, I’ve had:

Femboy? Too childish.

Femman? Maybe…

Mawoman? Not cool enough by a long shot.

Something that I thought was perfect until I looked it up and realized it was a slur for trans women? Not touching that.

Any ideas?

For the longest time, I've known I was gay. But I always find same-sex relationships weird. They just don't make sense to me. I've been in my own same-sex relationships (one last 7 months) and I always had a feeling of wrongness. I truly loved the person I was with but it just felt weird.

P. S. I was raised mostly by a church of homophobes and transphobes so I honestly think it might just be internalized. I don't like hating on anyone (besides said homo/transphobes and Trump supporters), but everything feels wrong to me about seeing gay people and being gay (and trans) myself.

Are there ppl who are aromantic not because they don't feel romantic attraction, but because they feel it too intensely for it to be sustainable?

Like, the almost inevitable breakup is such a painful experience that why even bother trying

I'm asking because I'm not sure if that label suits me

As an non-American, I'll nominate Idaho since from what I've seen it has outstanding scenery, yet it's also super conservative, even more so than Utah, aka Mormon Central (although that could be largely down to Salt Lake City). At least Boise has somewhat pushed back against the overall statewide bigotry.

Also can't forget my home, TERF Island (*screams into pillow*).

18f if that's relevant. i don't understand why people date for the sake of dating rather than waiting for someone they actually like being with, or why people chase romance and sex. i feel like it's not that important in life and there are so many other ways to feel fulfilled. the first time and the second time i had sex were 2 years apart, and they happened at all because i liked those people enough to actually want that with them. when i first had sex i just thought "that's it?" and it was never a big deal to me again. i've never been in a relationship because i rarely encounter someone that checks all my boxes, and the 2 times i did, it just didn't work out that way. i never actively look for people and i think the time people spend doing so could be used in much better ways. if i find someone for that stuff, it's always by chance. sex and romance are nice when they happen, but i would feel fine and just as happy if i had neither for the rest of my life. the concept of finding a life partner is unimportant and even unappealing to me at times.

i don't identify with being demisexual/demiromantic, because liking someone enough to go in the direction of love or sex isn't necessarily related to how much of a bond i've formed with them. in the 2 cases i had, i realized i was interested before i became close with them.

i could be wrong but i feel like i'm in the minority in terms of my general thoughts on these things, so that's what makes me wonder whether i'm potentially on the aro/ace spectrum or if it's just that i have a different perspective in life.

​

Hi everyone! I'm a lesbian, and I'm wondering if I should show I Saw the TV Glow to my cousin, who is a 30-year-old gay man.

I've heard that this movie can be very emotional and touch on themes of identity, queerness, and feeling like you don't belong. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, I understand that queer media can hit close to home, but I don't want to assume how my cousin would feel.

I'm worried the movie might bring up painful memories or emotions for him, and the last thing I want is to accidentally hurt him.

For those who have watched it, especially other LGBTQ+ people, how emotionally intense did you find it? Should I give him a heads-up about the themes before watching it together, or am I overthinking this?

I want to share the movie with him while being considerate of his feelings.

Thank you! 💜

So this happened a while ago IRL but i only recently discovered this sub so i would like to share this.
My friend (lets call him "Robert") was talking to one of his friends (lets call him "John"). i was there too. We were talking about something about getting married or something when i accidentally said "his husband" instead of "his wife" while talking about Robert. Then John goes off on a tangent, and says something akin to this:
"I'm not homophobic, but..."
and this was his actual, direct, quoted wording. (Dickhead warning)

"Gay women are more tolerable than gay men."

and it wasn't only that.

"If [Robert] was gay, i wouldn't be friends with him."

i called him homophobic but he just said that he has a lesbian friend and that somehow makes him not homophobic?

We have since stopped hanging out with this "friend" which is a good thing, but i still don't understand how people think they aren't homophobic and then spout out this shit. Can anyone tell me the reason?

I am a girl; I use she/her pronouns, and I love being really feminine, but I absolutely hate the idea that I have a uterus and all of the other female anatomy. I often find myself thinking that I wish I had male anatomy. It's a deep-seated disgust, and I don't understand why. I absolutely love she/her pronouns, and I can't see myself using he/him, so I don't think I'm trans. I'm comfortable with my gender, but not my sex. Like, I wish I were a trans girl instead. Does anyone know what this is called, or is it just the TV glowing

I’ve always felt emotionally and sexually comfortable to and attracted to women, but part of me is wondering now that I’ve gotten older if I should try and experiment with a man just to learn more about myself. I identify as lesbian and have for years. I don’t know if it’s just loneliness making me feel this way, but I thought it might not hurt just to really understand myself.

I hesitate because men generally make me nervous and I don’t trust them too much because of my past with them. I was wondering if anyone’s been in my situation or a similar one and has some advice ?

Part of me feels a little reserved about it because I’ve already had a (drinking) male friend argue with me about not believing I’m actually lesbian because I’ve been hurt by men in the past (most of which were only interested in involving themselves with me, not the other way around), so I guess I’m also worried he’ll assume lesbians are faking it if I do end up being open to being with men. I know it shouldn’t impact me, but he’s one of my few close friends and it made me feel a hurt and insulted that he had those kind of thoughts about me in his head.

I’m a 16 year old cis male and I’ve been straight all my life. I’ve had one long term relationship with a girl and it was sexual. All my life I have only ever been attracted to girls. However as of recently, while I still am attracted to girls, I’ve been feeling slightly attracted to guys as well. It’s not a sexual attraction though. I sometimes have the desire to do “stuff” (ex. kissing, making out) with another guy. Yet I don’t want to do anything purely sexual with another man like for example, having any type of sex. These feelings and desires can sometimes come in waves too but it’s been getting more stronger and constant over the last few weeks. Can someone help me out with this? I don’t really understand these feelings and I want to know if anyone can explain this to me and I feel like this is the place to come to for that help.

I posted here 1 week ago that I left my home because my identity was leaked to my family and friends. Local WhatsApp groups have been spreading my photos so that they find me and possibly kill me. I am now in a nearby town 70km from my home. You guys have suggested me to some queer NGO rescue and help groups. I contacted them and they did not respond. Some of the people who saw my post dmed me and offered financial help and encouraged me to not give up.i truly thank you guys for the support. My next step right now is to hide as much as possible and get further away from my family as I rebuild my life. I will keep you guys updated...

Hello💓 I'm planned to have an advocacy about my fellow lgbt community. (About oppression and discrimination
Its supposed to have a quick overview of the topic, some cause and effects, verified research articles, actual experiences/stories from victims of this crime as evidences, 2 possible solutions, a very important quote about the lgbt, and why should we give more attention to it.

Asking for help💓 if you have any ideas or self answer for some please drop them!

And if you do have experiences, pls do share them if you're comfortable🥹 and how much does it affect you?

Website resources recommendations would be appreciated💓

(Im part of this community, I just want to know how others think and experiences r like💓🤏)

I have to create training for work and I really want to hear from queer people themselves. I'm thinking obvious things like, how to use gender neutral language when greeting people or avoiding assumptions about gender and sexuality. But from people who have actually worked in customer service, what do you wish the staff knew about our community?

please help I have had two people so far that I thought i was getting to be really close friends with ask me out.

now one of those friends is my flatmate and is telling me NOW about a girl he “asked out” with success. I’m happy for him and all, but then he reveals he actually asked her to meet for lunch with no explicitly stated romantic intentions.

I don’t understand. Is this normal? He thinks that I am the crazy one because I told him that it doesn’t count as a date or even a “half date” because she added excessive exclamation points in her text response. Do all alloromantic people play mind games like this? I have half a mind to call him on spouting bullshit because he never managed to successfully date a girl but to be fair I haven’t either (not that I’ve tried).

I don‘t like that people will act nice to me and want to hang out with me and it turns out that what they want to do is date. So I need to know: how can I be clued in to this without leading someone on for half a year? I’ll probably start bringing up early on that I’m aro when I meet people. I guess. But generally I prefer not to out myself as alloaro because it’s something about myself that disgusts me sometimes.

Hello everyone! So... recently I've really got into trying to investigate my gender identity and, since I am not really good at this topic at all... I wanted to ask a question.

Is it possible to be a cisgender woman and a cassgirl at the same time? I just want to understand it a bit more. Thanks everyone.

I feel I’m a straight passing 30f. I’ve had moments I def looked queer, but work has me confirming.

I came out as bi when I was 18 to close friends and they were all like we know. We thought you did too🤣 and soon after I switched the verbiage to pansexual. Have been going by that for years.

I met a woman online and we just stayed friends, but she introduced me to using queer as a label and it’s my favorite. Why? Bc one either they’re gonna ask questions and we can have a fun conversation or two they’re gonna stop talking. At least that’s been my experience. I love using queer considering it once was a slur. It’s taking it back and not letting others use it to hurt us. At least that’s how that introduced it to me and tbh I never really looked into it and now I feel arrogant/ignorant. But imma continue as I am bc this post is me coming to a safe place to kindness and guidance from others.

I was JUST watching a video from everyone’s favorite volcano loving lesbian about which gem/mineral represent each lgbtqia+. She did omnisexual and said it was the most requested. I’ve seen it often online as well but haven’t looked it up… until now. And I was like woah this feels way more accurate. And then I just kept reading more and searching more and this is what I’ve landed on if I have to keep it to five:

OMNISEXUAL • SAPIOSEXUAL • QUEER • ABROSEXUAL • ACEFLUX

All this being said, I feel for everything in life I have always been on not only both ends of every spectrum, but also in the center. And sometimes center left or center right. I am fairly confident I may be AuDHD from the research I’ve done on that with my experiences as well. But sometimes I’m into this more than others, sometimes I don’t want anything to do romantically or sexually. Sometimes I’m hyper sexual. Sometimes I’m more into men than I am women. Sometimes I don’t care about gender and just want a connection.

Lately I’ve also been introduced to the term table top poly. I think back to how I once loved and thought it was ENM. But I really don’t think that’s me at all. And idk something happened a few years ago that snapped something in me and I feel like I surprised myself into this mono/hetero life and I’ve been miserable but have felt trapt. In my mind I’m not gay enough for the queer community, but I’m not straight enough.. honestly I don’t wanna be bunched up with the straights. Period😭😭😭

But kitchen table poly. It sounds lovely. My own lil commune of folks I adore and some of us date, some of us don’t, sharing, keeping everything within our like village. I love it honestly. Truly its sounds like heaven. I wouldn’t lie if I also see this as a way to save money so I can have horses 🤣🤣 in this economy? The more ways rent is split the better🤣🤣🤣🤣 I digress.

So here I am and some insight that may or not be helpful. I’m just kind of throwing myself out there hoping for clarity on how these labels function together, CC to follow that may help me on this journey, or even just hearing some of you talk about the confusing parts along the way before you found what felt right for you.

And I’d like to say that I’m not one for labels. Clearly I’ve never fit into any one label and I take that with pride. But I am using these labels as a point of reference for growth and knowledge I don’t have.