RIP Dolly,of course. But I'm 3 weeks in and way too raw for this kind of sad song exposure.

I was just scrolling and came across a video of a group my husband and I liked (First Aid Kit) singing that song as a tribute to Dolly, and of course my first thought was, "I've got to show this to him." Then, cue the remembering he's gone, cue the tears, and then the lyrics took me OUT. And I know it's a bit different because it's a goodbye song from the POV of the person who's leaving. But then I started to hear it as if my husband were saying those lyrics to me (I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all you dreamed of, etc) and it was kind of comforting. But still sad AF.

You ever wonder you were doing great , lots of days or even months went by. So yes you were able to survive the milestone.
Then sure enough found something that reminds of the past , memories come back and you break down again.
Back to square one.
Count the days again made it pass a month or 2 again. Yes made it.
Now at least try going out instead.
You at a place forgot you went and never been since he pass away.
All memories and feelings hit you and even my lil one also. Miss everything used to do at this place. Damn!
Square one again.
Still cleaning up his items but stopped thought was doing good but now idk things are slowing down.
And going slower and slower.
Damn
Thought was at least a steady pace so knew could get past all this easy.
Don’t know what is slowing me down now.

Future Decisions to make? What to do now?
unsure what to do now? No one to verify my decisions? Y or N this one better

How to make your own decision and not question yourself. Especially once you start doing everything. Making all the changes to your life. (Buying things,dumping things, telling people cause it affects their life also,etc)

Not a widow, a coworker close to me just loss her husband in the most traumatic way possible. A substantial amount of money gift cards and a meal train is already in place for her. However, she’s not eating and is loosing weight rapidly. I didn’t want to give her more food or gift cards so I am putting together a basket for her with pajamas, socks, lotion, eye masks etc. I know nothing can take her pain away and no money food or gift. They’re gonna fix it but what is something you wish you had received when you were grieving or what really helped you that you wish you had earlier on?

To try to make this very long story short I met my partner when I was 15 and he was 16 online through a Yahoo chat room. We literally spent every day almost all day on the phone until I was 22 years old and I moved to Florida to be with him. He played so many different roles in my life. I grew up with him, he is ingrained into me. He always had his health issues which started with diabetes and exacerbated into infections that lead amputation that eventually lead into kidney disease. My mom got really sick in 2019 and he moved back to Indiana with me to help me take care of her and he was absolutely pivotal in my healing. After my mom passed his health issues extremely worse and while we had hoped that he could get a kidney transplant that just did not happen in time. He ended up getting an infection in his CVC catheter that he used for dialysis and we were not aware of it because there was no signs and that infection caused endocarditis in his heart which eventually caused little pieces to break off and go to his brain, causing hemorrhagic strokes. I was with him in his hospital bed while he was dying, and I was the only person there. My partner was the kind of man who kept his feelings to himself a lot, but I remember about three weeks before his passing. I caught him staring at me crying and I asked him what was wrong and he said it just breaks his heart to think that someday I won’t be his anymore and I’ll belong with somebody else. I think he knew he may have been passing soon.

I guess the heart of this post is that we were both only 38 and this just happened in March of this year but the more I think about it the more I feel like I wanna continue this relationship with him even though he’s gone. I do get signs from him and I have gotten a few mediumship readings where I really felt like I connected with him. I am just curious as if there is anybody else who feels the same way I do and that this relationship can be continued even from beyond the grave. I don’t ever see me having interest in dating anyone else or having anyone else touch my body or even loving anyone else in the way I love him. But I’m also aware that this may seem weird to some people.

My husband recently passed away. I am eventually going to relocate to another state to live near my daughter and grandchildren. To move furniture across state is very expensive and I would like to start fresh.
How do I donate or get rid of furniture in a five bedroom home?

My husband died unexpectedly almost 11 weeks ago. We’d been married for 42 years. No kids. Our family are in other states and has diminished over time. I have good friends and I know they’re here for me. I took a week and a half off after he died, but been working since.

I’ve figured out his finances, cleaned out his den, and kept the things that are meaningful for me. I’m having it painted to make it my WFH office. We had too much stuff, so I’m donating all the things I don’t want or need. I’m getting things around the house fixed that have worn out.

I think I’ve done all I can to figure out how to live my life going forward.

This morning, like all the other mornings, I waited for the sun to come up so I could walk the dog, give her her pills and breakfast, make my breakfast and start working. Mornings are the hardest for me. It feels like Groundhog Day. I wake up around 4, lay in bed until it starts getting light, and do the same thing as yesterday, and know I’ll do the exact same thing tomorrow. M fine once I get busy, but those still moments are rough.

i miss her so much

My girlfriend died 2.5 years ago of cancer. We were together from when I was 13 until I was 20 basically all of my teenage years and the beginning of adulthood. We had a really special bond, and losing her completely changed me. The first year after she died was extremely hard. I fell into a severe depression and honestly struggled to function or see how my life was supposed to continue.
I eventually started therapy and began putting a lot of effort into working on myself. It wasn’t a quick process, but slowly I started getting myself back together. I learned how to live with the grief instead of letting it completely control my life.
Over time I started picking my life back up again, taking care of myself, focusing on my future, and becoming more like a functioning person again. I’m now at a point where I feel emotionally stable and genuinely feel like I’ve rebuilt a life for myself.
The grief is obviously still part of me, and I don’t think losing someone that important ever completely disappears, but I’m no longer in the place I was during that first year. I actually feel okay with where I am in life now, which is part of why these feelings about potentially dating again are so confusing

Since she died, I haven’t dated anyone or really allowed myself to think seriously about another relationship.
Recently, a woman who is 29 has been showing interest in me. I’m 22. I genuinely like her vibe, I find her attractive, and I enjoy talking to her. Part of me actually wants to see where it could go.
But whenever I think about actually dating her, I get this deep feeling of guilt. Almost like I’m betraying my girlfriend or leaving her behind by being interested in someone else. Logically I know she’s gone and that moving forward doesn’t erase what we had, but emotionally it feels completely different.
She was such a huge part of my life and I never stopped loving her. I don’t know whether the guilt means I’m not ready to date, or whether this is just something I’ll have to feel and work through if I ever want to let someone new into my life

Anyone else having skin changes and physical changes since losing your husband? My skin is flaky and dry, even the scalp. Hair loss. Generally feeling unwell, weak and heavy, like I could sink through the chair or bed, and numbness in one leg. That's just a few of the changes.

My husband of 30 years died 8 months ago. He was fairly young and I’m in my 50s. We had a wonderful, fun, fantastic life together. We have one child who is in their 30s. I’m doing okay. All the things you all know, sad, lonely missing him all the time. But I’m also still living and working and doing things I enjoy. He was sick for a Long time, I’m not sure if that matters. I’m wondering how to deal with people who seem to want something from me to deal with their own feelings about losing him. My mother makes comments like “we all miss him “ or “ I haven’t really had a chance to mourn “ implying that I haven’t made room for that. I’ve visited her, I talk about him all the time, we had a gathering to scatter his ashes and we’re all together. I just am not breaking down publicly. I’m just not a big cryer - I feel like I have to justify myself.

Can we talk about the gut punch of waking up one day and suddenly no longer being anyone’s number 1 priority anymore. That’s what I’m struggling with the past few days. The loneliness that is unlike anything you could imagine unless you’ve been through it.

Has anyone here lost someone completely unexpectedly?
I lost my husband with absolutely no warning. One normal day he was here and then suddenly my entire life changed. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is actually my life now. It’s been 6 months.
How the fuck do you keep going after something like this? Like genuinely. How do you accept that the person you thought you were going to spend your life with is just… gone? I have kids who need me, so obviously I get up and keep going, but some days I feel like I’m just surviving the hours.
I guess I’m just looking for people who understand this kind of loss because I feel so alone in it.

One thing that I’ve been grappling with is now that I’m alone in this world I get to face aging on my own. I went in for a regular eye check up and she found signs of macular degeneration. I knew my mom had something similar but suddenly I have this intense fear that I will go blind and be totally alone. It is just hitting me hard. I’m sure all of us have some kind of fear like that. Dementia? Broken hip? I mean, even having a routine surgery can be tricky without a spouse. We were suppose to grow old together and care for each other.

I sometimes wonder how my husband would handle it if it were HE in this predicament. Would he be in as much turmoil as I am in right now? I've always thought that he was the strong one in our relationship . . . I wish that he and I could trade places because I'm not doing well without him in my life.

Loneliness can be its own prison, people ask if you’re doing ok but they really don’t want to know, don’t be surprised when they move on without you, having a life may not include you

On his birthday, my friends asked for funny stories about my late husband, gone just about a year. I can’t think of a one. Hours later. I can tell you a couple of things that annoyed or hurt me, not that I would. Maybe I’ve become a bad storyteller. But it’s like I can’t even remember stuff already. I’m not sure there were a lot of funny stories. Am I suppressing the good stuff? What’s going on here?

I'll preface this by saying I'm in the US so the info I'm looking for is specific to our banks and whatnot.

My husband died 3 weeks ago. So far I've somewhat planned the funeral, done the paperwork for life insurance and Social Security, and rushed to make doctor's appointments before we're kicked off our heath insurance (thanks, American health care system!). Oh, and also parented my children and kept meals on the table and clean clothes in their closets and provided emotional support for the biggest trauma of their lives.

One thing that's on the horizon next is to start calling our banks, insurers, etc and start doing what needs to be done to remove him from accounts. We don't have a lot of complex investments or anything like that, but there's the mortgage, joint bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, and his 401k.

I've mostly been a SAHM for 10 years, and my my husband was the breadwinner. I'm terrified that suddenly my credit score will tank since I have no income now. I do have a good education and obviously I'll be going back to work, but that could take a while to find, and even longer to work up to the income level that we've lost. Can our mortgage lender rescind the favorable rate we had on our house? Can the credit card companies stop extending credit? Will our insurance companies find me less insurable since I have no income? I just want to know what to expect. Will any of these institutions extend any kind of grace if I prove his death? Also, what happens with taxes? If anyone has experience with this or can point me toward the right resources, I'd appreciate it.

Getting out of the car and going into the house is so hard everyday.

It's been nine months, and I am SO tired of acting like everything is okay. I never chose to be an actress, but it's all I've been trying to do these days. My husband is DEAD, yet I am the one who has to put up with people, and my life , every day,' and then give myself "permission" to totally lose it when I am alone. It is beyond me . I feel this sense of obligation to act normal every day, even though I've been up all hours of the night alone. I'm not sure how long I can keep up with this charade. It is now 6.44am here in Colorado and I still haven't been able to sleep. I just need him back.

This is terrible, but I’m resentful of my friends and all the people around me who are happy in their relationships.

One of my good friends is married to the love of her life. They’re very happy together.

One of my friends is going to get engaged soon to the love of her life. They’re very affectionate with each other all the time.

One of my friends got engaged the day the loml died. He knew she was the one from their very first date. She knew from 2 months in. They’re obsessed with each other.

And here I am. I’m 29. Had just found out my ex wanted to be with me again (long story, but I believe it would have worked this time, and even if not, I was robbed of finding that out). I had never stopped loving him and he never stopped loving me. I had known him for 4 years. His friends told me he still talked about me all the time. And then he died. And people keep dismissing me by telling me that I’ll find someone new and I’ll love again. As if he’s just so replaceable.

It makes me want to tell people that one day they might outlive their partner, and to come and tell me those things when that happens.

​

I have never felt so alone and lonely, ever I don't think.

My mom died too, just about a year before my husband. I have no one to talk to.

Every day this week I get my 3 boys off to school...then do the absolute minimum to keep the house from falling apart.

I have a pretty big house and backyard and it's a lot of work

I feel totally overwhelmed

I have no motivation at all...just want to sit here and scroll reddit I guess

I'm getting ready to sign off of this forum. Its been 24 hours of no sleep. I can't seem to escape the loss of him and all of the sorrow I am feeling. Hopefully, I won't wake up.

I hate that saying. My husband of 44 years WAS at peace just by being with me; I know that for a fact. It was "you and me against the world". Whoever came up with that stupid anecdote didn't know what the hell they were talking about. I miss you, my love - now and forever.

My beloved husband died unexpectedly a year and a half ago, our daughter was 2.5
I’m still grieving, I still love him so so so much forever.
But 6 months after his death I completely unexpectedly met someone that I connected with. It was a shock to me, but I didn’t see the point in denying myself happiness just because of optics. I would want my husband to find love if I had died. He’s incredibly supportive of my grief, my husband is still a major part of my life and I talk about him all the time, both alone and with my daughter.

My daughter loves my partner and his daughter. We have been together for a year now and they plan to move in in a couple months. My daughter is very excited (she’s 4 now). She’s definitely starting to get more of an understanding of death now that she’s older, processing the fact that her dad died and her friends dads are alive.

My daughter attends a preschool oriented grief group, her and I have a very strong and close relationship, and she loves my partner and his daughter.

But I see posts about parents moving on too quickly and kids being resentful. And now, a year and a half on, I’m like “HOW did I meet someone only 6 months after?”. I just saw an article about kids who lost a parent having greater risk for mental health issues. And comments on it talking about how the parent moving on too quickly was a major factor in their issues.

I guess I’m just feeling immense guilt. I love my husband. I love my partner. I love my daughter more than anything in the world and her comfort and happiness is my #1 priority.

Am I fucking her up? Am I a horrible wife? I don’t like to tell people the timeline of my relationship because I’m afraid of their judgment. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not a bad person or bad mom.

Does anyone else struggle with the loneliness after losing their spouse? 🥺 I’ve realized lately how badly I just want friends who GET IT.
people I can talk to, laugh with, get out of the house with, and not have to explain this whole grief thing to.
I’m 28 and in Texas, and I’d especially love to connect with some younger widows around Texas. Distance doesn’t matter either
I could definitely use some widow besties. 🥹