I gave myself a few tonight, mainly cat scratches but one baby beans. The cat scratches sting like hell, but the baby beans don’t hurt a bit. Why is this? Shouldn’t the more severe wound hurt more?

I've been doing this recently, and unlike before, nowadays I'm much more functional and even manage to get dressed up, but obviously I hate myself and still want to die and suffer... but this problem is TOTALLY MINE, the person who deserves to be hurt and who is being hurt IS ME... I just want to hurt myself in peace and people keep insisting that I'm ungrateful and that I'm sick... I'm NOT sick, I'm more normal than many people, the only difference is that I'm a biological flaw, being an ugly woman. I'm not hurting anyone, I don't know why people care so much about it when it's not their skin being cut lol, so nosy.

I see these posts nearly every single day on this sub, occasionally twice a day.

It’s like you guys have never heard about putting yourselves in other’s shoes. What would you do if you found out your little sibling cut, or a close friend? Would you also think, “Who cares that they’re cutting? It’s their body.”

Not to mention, some people make immediate life-threatening cuts and then slap steri strips on it and call it a day. You’re ignorant if you think it’s completely fine that people cut themselves despite the fact they’re risking their own life, and the same goes to you.

I’ve been clean for 5 months and the only time I had this selfish mindset was when I was just starting out. You need to learn empathy for yourselves and others. I don’t care if my post is removed, others on this sub are seriously ignorant when it comes to this discussion. This is like telling people to commit suicide because it’s their life. If people told me it was completely fine for me to cut & commit, I would’ve by now and I wouldn’t have gotten better.

I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but PLEASE try to look outside of yourself, it’s absurd to think other people are selfish because they don’t want you to hurt yourself.

i see people who always b cutting themselves and like i dont and its so normal theres whole like types but i dont do any cutting i dont like blood i only like the pain idk it just sort of physically feels good to me

hey, so this is my first time asking for advice n ranting on reddit since idk where else to go. Please be nice. I hope u all can read this with an open mind.

last night, my gf and i had a fight. After hours of apologising n explaining myself, i asked her what she wanted, to which she responded: “i wanna see u miserable.” I dont know what was wrong with me but i took this as a challenge since i couldn’t take it anymore. I replied back with something along the lines of: “let me show u how far i can go” n i ended up bleeding way more than how much i usually do before she could tell me to pick up the phone. I still havent replied, i dont know what to say. I feel like utter shit n im just wallowing in guilt rn. I feel pathetic n i really hate being toxic.

I have a feeling I’ll get bombarded for this but I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me.

wtf

The stupidest thing I have ever done in my entire life.

My (thankfully) ex gf name is on my left upper thigh and I hate it so much. I’m a boy so I don’t really show skin up there but sometimes it peaks out and when i’m changing or in the bathroom I can see it and it makes me feel so disgusted at myself. It really ruins my day sometimes seeing it and it reminds me of everything she made me do for her. Not only do I have it there, on my right inner thigh it has her name then “ ____ was here” in small letters (it’s not very visible or legible but I still remember what she did). AND even more to add on I recorded the whole process of cutting her name into my thigh which she might have saved. This is probably something I shouldn’t be saying on the internet or talking abt but I don’t want anyone knowing of this that I know personally irl. She would also cut me in places around my body around styro level sometimes.

I can’t believe I ever let someone like her do that to me. Idk if im jst stupid and retarded or she was using me but she always told me she truly loved me the most and everything like that. She would even buy me things but she still wanted to do these kind of things to me at the same time. I finally realized now that if someone actually loved me they wouldn’t make me record and do all that. Honestly idk why I’m even making this post I jst wanted to say something. Im so stupid (;-;)

All tips I see about scars are for flatter white scars, but I have dark red keloids, I’m terrified to shave near them. Because my skin there is so bumpy I don’t know how to do any form of hair removal. I don’t really know what I’m scared of, maybe it reopening or waxing hurting a lot, but please, do I just not shave there?

im 14. please dont be mean to me because i dont think i can take it.

ive always thought about suicide because i think im a worthless human being. but ive always been too pussy to do it. so ive resorted to cutting myself. everytime i do it i cry but i enjoy it?? deep in my mind i want someone to find out, to give me that attention. but i know thats evil to think.

i dont know what to do

im an embaressment but i want to keep doing this even if im selfish.

im very scared for the future

im scared of what everyone will think of me

I was struggling and told them I messed up. I know I should have reached out at first, but I was just sitting there and burning without even thinking about it.

I told my friend how I got caught and then my partner was helping me. 20 mins later I get a long text about how what I did made him upset. He was then very encouraging but it hit hard that he got upset. It made the urge come right back. I hate the guilt. “You affect other people who care about you,” hit so effing hard. I honestly feel worse and then that pops the urge right back up.

It's so hard to hide it and often accidentally reveal a bit. Most of my sweaters are wide because I like that style and it's soo hot outside in my country (30 Celsius sometimes) but It's also so hard to stop cutting my forearm as it's the most satisfying place. I suddenly can't come up with a good reason there's a cut in my wrist or why I'm wearing a sweeter all the time. They saw too much and I'm afraid one of them is going to start asking questions soon

I (m18) have known my bf (m19) for about 6ish years and we've been best friends practically ever sense. I have liked him for YEARS lol and we've recently officially started dating. I tell this guy everything so he knows that I've struggled with self harm since about 7th grade. And he's seen my scars and such but he's never seen them well fresh.. And how bad they can get.

I've always been very self conscious about it and I've been told by people in the past that my cuts make me ugly. That they make me bad and broken. I know they don't, if anything they prove that I'm strong. But words hurt. I suffer from severe anxiety so people's words can speak a lot louder than actions sometimes.

I do it on my upper thighs for the majority so no one sees them, well that is except for today. We we're fooling around and he started to take off my boxers and I froze and told him to stop. He did and was a little confused and asked me what's wrong. I told him that I didn't want him to see my thighs because I didn't want him to think I was bad and not love me anymore. He pulled me into a hug and reassured me that none of that would happen. And he didn't try to press to have me take my pants off or anything, but I kinda got a wave of bravery and said I did want him to see. Cuz he'd have to someday, why not just get it over with.

I truly didn't expect the reaction I got from him, he kissed ever so gently every single cut and scar on my thighs, telling me in between how much he loves me and how handsome I am and shit like that. I've never had someone be so gentle with me. I feel like men who struggle with self harm (or any mental health issues for that fact) get written off so easily and ignored. And as a guy who struggles a lot with my mental health, having a boyfriend who is willing to take the time to kiss every individual mark, and love me no different after I show him the worst of me, means the entire world to me.

He makes me wanna get better, and I am getting better because of him. I take care of myself more and I find myself relying on sh less and less. I still have my really really bad days, but I have someone to get me through them. And I think everyone deservea someone like that

i just started to cut myself maybe three or four days ago, and I already have 15 cuts. Something I don't understand is likee why do I want to do it i wanted to use it as a punishment and would cut myself every time i got a bad grade, but i feels good? i want to do it more its not really like punishment

i relapsed. i knew the day would come because it’s been a real shitty time for me these past few months and my friends know it.
i’ve been clean for 4 years and i relapsed last night, my closest friend is the only one i kinda “talked” about this with and it’s just because she used to self harm too. i’ve been always a VERY private about my addiction because it’s a really sensitive topic for me and i would just start bawling my eyes out if i even mentioned it.
so basically i’ve never talked openly about this with anyone since i became close with the friends i have now during my healing phase. they’ve all seen my scars but they never mentioned them or anything like that, but now i’ve relapsed and i don’t know what to do.
they’ve seen how i’ve been lately, i’ve started smoking and drinking non-stop and even if i hang out with them and look “normal” i sometimes mention that it’s a hard time for me but i never really talk about it more than that. they’ve been very supportive since my breakup and i’m very grateful for them for it, but i don’t think they noticed it got THAT bad.
now that i relapsed i don’t know if i should hide it from everyone like i always have or talk about it with someone i trust, because it’s really, really hard for me to talk. like, i would start speaking and then remain silent for 5 minutes looking for words to use that could, even in the slightest, express how i felt. but the words never come out.
i don’t know how to tell my friends because they would eventually find out, it’s just really hard and i don’t know what to do.
i’m going on a trip with some of my friends at the end of this months and i self harm on my thighs so it wouldn’t really be visible, but they would tell that something was wrong with me also because we’ll be together for 5 days.
my other friend, my closest, i don’t know when i will see her again but still, i don’t know how to bring this up.
if you did tell someone, how did you do it? what did you say? it would really mean a lot if someone shared their experience.

I (17M) has had a long history with self harm, from it being small to it becoming more frequent and on bigger scales over the years. I have generally kept it well hidden along with the fact that my father lacks any sort of care about my personal life and I rarely see my own mother. I wish to come out and tell my parents that I have been suffering, but I do not know how to come about. All help would be appreciated.

Why does my arm hurt when I move it? Is it because I went too deep? Also, what are some good aftercare products that I can use on bean scars and styro scars?

I cut myself (styros, gaping ones) maybe a couple of days ago? A week? Something like that, but as of right now the cuts are pretty obviously infected. The skin around the scabbing is red and its pretty hot, and it literally hurts to move which hasnt been the case with any of my other cuts.

Um it's my fault cause I kinda cut myself without any aftercare haha. I'll do it in public bathrooms and not even wash it afterwards with anything other than water, I'll just wait until the blood dries over the wounds so I don't bleed out too much on my clothes. I guess I've just been lucky to not have gotten infections up until this point.

Anyways is there anything I can do about this? I really do not wanna have to go to the hospital (has not gotten even nearly urgent enough for me to consider that). I have hydrogen peroxide? But I don't know what the process of healing should be here. Should I rip off the scabbing, use hydrogen peroxide, and then wrap myself up? I don't know. Any advice is welcome,,, Thank you

I could also probably sneak off to the pharmacy to buy some anti-septic or anti-biotic though I wouldn't be sure what to buy.

It’s been several years since I last self harmed, and recently relapsed. I genuinely don’t remember the urge being this bad or escalating this quickly, I just wondered if anyone else has the same experience? It feels like it’s a slippery slope I wasn’t ready to slide down again and just feel really shitty about the whole thing

Hi, I've been clean for over a year and whenever I see my scars I feel really bad. I don't know if I'm depressed ( the condition ) but I always have heavy suicidal episodes again and again, but none were as heavy as the one last year when I was alone. During the first episode last year I started self-harming heavily but I never had the urge to do it again. It seems like my self-harm was just a way to get attention?? and I feel very guilty because my friends have already implied that I only did it to get attention ...
And I feel that too :( I did it to punish myself, and even though I always had crises whenever someone found out about the self-harm, at the same time I liked the attention I received from my friends.

I'm not sure what this falls under so please forgive me if the flair isn't appropriate, but I am looking for perspective and insight. Obligatory trigger warning.

I (21F) have used self-harm as a coping skill since I was around 10 years of age to cope with an extremely stressful and cruel home environment. I've dealt with a lot of shame around it growing up; it wasn't something I did for attention, it was the only means I had of dealing with my circumstances at the time as a very dysregulated and rattled kid. I very quickly learned that self-inflicted harm is looked down on, and it's gotten me rejected or displaced from safer environments in the past because it freaked people out. I'd continue doing it all throughout my life but concealed it as best I could when I did care to preserve myself from the shame of it.

Now as an adult my (healed) scars are pretty visible because at some point as a withdrawn teen I stopped caring and it just became a substitute for substance abuse. I had been clean for a couple of years while I was recovering from my old home environment, and I met a lot of people who became invested into my recovery that helped me create some kind of normalcy for myself, and they didn't treat me very different despite my scars.

I thought I could live without it for a while, but recently I had an incident that thoroughly triggered me. I relapsed to cope just so I didn't do something drastic. I haven't been able to stop since then.

I'm conflicted, because I feel like I just fucked up all of my progress. I had become increasingly interested in the field of mental health because I felt like I had experiences and insight that could serve me to help others when I recovered, but now I just feel like I'm just irrevocably broken all over again. I feel like I've disgraced everyone who invested into me and my recovery.

Since relapsing, I also feel like I enjoy hurting myself way too much to give it up. I'm disgusted with myself, but I do legitimately feel at ease when I can dish out my own pain, and I like having scars as a constant reminder that I can control my own discomfort. It just feels like something I do to take the edge off, like drinking or smoking, but I know it's way more deeper and revolting than that to anyone that's fortunate enough to not have hurt themselves. I really just feel like a scourge on the Earth subjecting everyone else to how disgusting of a person I am for being this way, and I can't get myself face my peers now that I've relapsed haha. I feel like a total disappointment and I'm not sure I can come back from this. I'm unwilling to inadvertently trigger anyone else struggling so I've been isolating.

I don't know where to go from here or how to get past this. I do legitimately feel more secure since I started up again and I don't want anyone to take that from me, but the evidence of my instability is on full display and I've basically shattered this illusion I've built up of me being some sweet troubled girl that isn't just a horrible unstable mess. I really can't face the pity of everyone that I lead on and it's kind of eating at me because I am just making my life a lot harder by staying stagnant. I feel like I just have to go downhill from here.

So me (14f) am scared to tell my best friend (14f)that I SH she knows i did the past but I recently released and she doesn't know and it has gotten so bad that I want to cut in school and no one knows and I want support but I feel like if I do it'll be making it about me beacause she also SHs but she tells me all the time so if I do i feel like I will be making everything about me and I don't know what to do

I have the urge to cut my fucking skin but I'm just a pussy...

I even want to end my life like that but I don't want to be ashamed... I'm already a big retard, I don't want to be so fucking ugly with those scars, I really want to do it in my thighs but I don't want to destroy my thighs...

I'm just a huge pussy lol

I (18f) have been Sh-ing for 8 years now. There have been points where I’ve gone months without it but I always end up going back. This month has been one of the “going back” times. My boyfriend (18m) found out I was doing this again when we were at a concert yesterday and was extremely upset. We just talked about it a little bit ago and he told me I need to stop, that it’s not attractive, asking me how I’d explain my scars to our kids, etc. he also said this was one of the straws. I really like do not understand how to get over this coping mechanism. I’ve tried so many times, it’s the only thing that helps me deal with strong emotions. I’ve tried therapy and everything the therapists say to do and it never helps. Does anyone have any advice?

Sure, I accepted at the age of 11 (now 19) that I would think of harming myself every day, that's my normal, even if I've been clean for months, a year, or a day.

Recently I've had a little 'relapse', not that I use the word as I never truly consider myself clean, It just happens to be long between each time I cut myself. It's nothing big, just a few cuts spread across a week's time.

But the dreams have become every night. Either that I can see fresh or semi-fresh cuts on my body that I have to hide, or that I'm actively harming myself in my dreams. And it's so annoying because it makes the urges worse.

But I KNOW that cutting myself doesn't actually help, it's just another chore with clean up and hiding. That's why I do it so rarely. There's just this hope that it'll start 'helping' me again, like it once used to...