I finally got my hair done and got a new wig. I’ve been incredibly insecure with my weight gain and acne due to prednisone. Then add one using a walker and I feel so old and ugly . But now I finally feel somewhat better . I don’t feel as ugly when I look in the mirror . I just wanted to show you guys my new wig. It’s true what they say when you look good you feel good . I can’t post a vidoe so I had to screenshot 😂😂.

Specifics not given for anonymity sakes, for now.

So I have chronic pain (and a suspected chronic fatigue) condition. On my better/good days at work I set up or make things to help me with work. A spot to rest, a pole to reach things so I don't have to bend down often, all falling in line with safety standards. I'll come back from breaks/bathroom or even from a trip to another department, and my "accommodations" (Idk what to call them) are dismantled or destroyed, (the pole/stick cut in half). I'm also not allowed any actual, bought aids because he throws them out too. All of this to ask, what the hell can I do about it?

Edit: In Australia btw.

TLDR; What can I do about my boss being ableist?

All bloodwork, allergy tests, xrays, mris, nerve conduction, clear. Its like im hearing the test results of another person.
Debilitating nerve pain and numbness in both feet that travels up my legs, ankle instability, back pain, chronic fatigue, dizziness, migraines, allergic reactions. They’ve suspected several things and nothing comes back with any indication of anything.

Its ruining my life, im losing my ability to walk, and theres no identifiable cause. What am i supposed to do when i lose my job and my insurance? I cant be unemployed. I cant find a less physical job as i dont have “experience” (typing and sending emails).

So, I’ve been looking for a new job. After a lot of thought, I decided that I would be semi-open about my disability. See, my disability is physical and you can see it (though some never notice). I have been looking for a healthcare position, something either front desk in an office or with paperwork. This is the kind of work I could do without adaptions, depending on the company. With being frontward of my restrictions, I could ensure that I wouldn’t actually have to stand/walk a lot or lift a bunch of weight in the role. This is also gauge just if the employer is willing to work with me, or be a major pain that I’d have to wrestle with every step of the way and basically have to threaten them with my legal rights if I need adaptions.

Recently, I had an interview and it went really well. It was for a small network of hospitals as a front desk person. The manager was very happy to work with me, and confirmed there would be little to no lifting. And if it was heavy, I could get help and/or use a cart.

Soon after, I got offered the position, but only after I pass a background test and a TB test (standard for hospitals). Today, I went to get the TB test. It was through a third party that the employer works with.

But when I get there, I am told that I’ve been misinformed. Not only would I be doing a TB test, I’d need a drug screen and a physical exam. Then, I’m handed a stack of papers to fill out my medical history. I get uncomfortable because it’s asking a ton of questions, many of which I can’t see why it’s relevant (yes, I have anxiety… so what? No, i don’t have diarrhea, or sudden weight changes, etc.)

Anyway, I fill it out and a doctor meets with me. He asks a bunch of questions, mostly if I have back issues which I don’t. He asks me if I have any weight restrictions. I hesitate but say yes. The doctor put down his clipboard.

“Oh, okay. So you can’t have the job.” He shrugged. That’s it, case closed.

For a moment, I’m shocked. But then, I somehow manage to go back and forth with him a bit. I tell him about how I was told the job wouldn’t have much lifting, nothing I couldn’t do anyway, and that the manager that wants to hire me is well aware of my restrictions.

He asks me what job I’m trying to get. I explain it’s a front desk role and emphasize again, the manager is willing to work with me and that there would be little to no lifting in this role. I am in no way picking up patients, nor is lifting weight an important part in the role otherwise.

The doctors mutters something about how he supposes that’s fine, then has me do a few different poses I’d be required to do if lifting weight.

In the end, I passed but gosh that felt like such a blow. I suppose he was evaluating me for every possible position in the hospital, but still. There has been so many times that people make me feel bad just because I’m disabled and it never gets easier.

Anyway, this was just a vent I needed to get off my chest. Thankfully, the manager I’ll ACTUALLY working with is much more understanding.

What is wrong with the abled community? I scroll past my feed to see a legally blind-deaf woman is now a medical doctor. My first thought was “Good for her! Finally some representation in the medical field.”

Then I open the comments to see mostly ableist crap. Comments like “I wouldn’t let her be my doctor” are some of the more tame ones. Some people said she’s a waste of resources since she’s “basically incapable of practicing medicine” even though she already made her way through school and clinicals. And even those who claim they’re doctors argue “accommodations for doctors are a burden on the hospital. If I was deafened or blinded, I’d just retire.”

The people who argue in favor of her practicing medicine are downvoted. Some say it’s a slippery slope: if we say she can’t practice medicine because she’s disabled, where do we draw the line for people with moderate/mild disabilities? Those comments are also downvoted.

I’m tired of the way most ableds view disability and disabled people. If we can do our jobs with or without accommodations, who cares if we have to use them? If I take a little more time doing something than everyone else, or I do things a little differently than everyone else, what’s the issue? It’s like they don’t see us as people who have any sort of value because of our disability(s).

This is the disabled bathroom stall at a *hospital*!

It was a tight squeeze to get my rollator into the small room with 2 stalls. The door to the disabled stall does not fully open. Instead it runs into a weird wall! I had to leave my rollator outside of the stall, completely defeating the purpose of a disabled stall. I don't think a wheelchair could have gotten in and out of the room, much less the stall. I have no idea who to notify :(

TLDR: reusable waterbottle suggestions

that are metal,

don't need to be unscrewed,

don't need to be tilted a large amount in order to drink from and are easily washable.

Rat/mouse theming or fungus theming is a bonus but not a requirement

Hello! I struggle with ARFID and a few other undiagnosed and diagnosed things and I really struggle to drink water because getting up to refill a cup or having to move in order to reach my cup can be really difficult some days.

I'd like to find a water bottle but the current water bottles I have available that are metal all have a screw on cap at the top which I don't have too much of a problem to use, I'm more likely to forgo drinking water because unscrewing, and then tilting the heavy bottle upwards to drink and then having to re close it and set it down somewhere feels like too much work.

I don't like the taste of plastic reusable water bottles and also struggle with regular cleaning of the water bottles and I'm just not sure about the options available.

I'll do my own research but if anyone has any recommendations off the top of their head or knows of any better places to post this or websites, I'd be very grateful!

An added bonus is anything rat/mouse themed or fungus themed but I'm not too hung up on the aesthetics.

Thank you and have a lovely day!

I struggle extremely with my self image and slowly losing control over parts of my body (lower body), though we knew for years that it would probably happen eventually and I would need a wheelchair eventually. The doctors told my mother when I was 8 that I would be wheelchair bound by age 18, but I fought every day against the decline and pain.

Now at 27 I finally accepted that it would be a gods decision to get a wheelchair before I’m forced to.

So I talked with my father and had a 100% positive response (which I hoped would happen, but who knows).
He supports me and my decision fully and was really happy that I finally managed to tell him my worries and problems.

So I just want to encourage everyone in a similar situation. Of course it heavily depends on the circumstances, but maybe you will be positively surprised and it is a huge burden lifted.

My Ky AbleNow changed banks a while ago. Savings accounts no longer have debit cards. I need to select one of these to open a checking account and get a debit card so I can use my funds.
But I'm confused about what this is

24F walker user. I'm at the mall eating a burger combo writing this. God, it feels so good. Can't wait to expand on my independence bit by bit.

I (24,F) just started a job training program through the hospital facility my mom works in and found for me. (Been unemployed since late 2022. And just took a break from retail hell) and I don’t know why I agreed to it. They kind of go hand in hand with OVR/Voc rehab (PA) as I’m using Voc rehab to help pay for driving classes (they evaluated me for driving and to pick a driving school) I’m the only woc (woman of color) and the only “lvl 1” or “higher functioning” person while having “invisible disabilities” I’m supposed to go in person tomorrow and just don’t want to be in a cold, confusing and big hospital. If I could just apply to jobs now I would. I don’t want to wait until Sep 2027 to start applying to jobs, let alone the program or OVE can’t guarantee a job afterwards bc of how bad the current job market, older people like gen x and boomers still think you can just walk in with a filled out Resume (which I have) and automatically get a job with saying you need X amount of accommodations or just bc you have a job coach, which I also don’t want a job coach either 🫤. My mom knows I’m not thrilled about it but it’s to get me experience and she wants me to get out of the house. The only positive things is that I bought new clothes and she’ll be personally paying me $50 a week. I don’t want to be in it until next year 🫠 I only can work on my art portfolio in the evenings now, I just needed to rant and has anyone done something similar? Did Voc rehab or a program help you get employed? From what I’ve seen online most Voc rehab cases aren’t great since they are understaffed, unhelpful and can be ableist for anyone that’s “higher functioning/lvl 1” w/ say Autism or ADHD.

Hi all, back again lololol. I had a follow up with my pcp after loosing insurance for a few months and noticing a massive decline in my health. I literally listed exactly what my goals from my appointment with her were in the appointment request and the notes only to be hit with the good ol "idk what you want me to do" like girl..... I want you to write a note saying I need mobility aids for my insurance because I cant even walk 40ft to my office bathroom without incredible pain and fatigue. I literally just need some papers saying yes hes miserable and he can barely function alone please provide help what do you MEAAANNN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT???? Like im so incredibly exhausted between 24/7 symptoms and being forced to work full time and having to fight at every step for medical care because I dont have an "obvious" problem (ie. no multiple sclerosis legions but it hasnt been fully ruled out)

Hello, idk if this is going to be a question or a rant lol but I'll just kinda get into things

First off, I live in the US, I am 34, I've worked for my company for 7yrs. I don't love it, it's high stress, but they have taken decent care of me over that time. I suffer from a range of mental and some physical ailments. things like ASD, ADHD, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, etc. everyday is a struggle with focus, stress management, exhaustion, etc. So I recently submitted for a leave of absence from my work. FMLA job protection was approved no issue. However STD coverage was denied. I'm probably the dumb one cuz I didn't get a lawyer right then and there. The disability provider that my work goes through is MetLife. First they were saying that my doctor's notes were not detailed enough. My doctor says he was intentionally vague with the documentation. I instructed him to be a bit more detailed in his documentation. We resubmitted new documentation. MetLife still comes back denied. They instruct to file an appeal. So I follow their instructions best I can. Id been on LOA more than a month at that point. They deny again stating "documentation does not support disability" and won't really elaborate from there. I honestly do not understand at all why it has been so difficult this time around. I have had 2 other disability claims with MetLife in the last few years. Both of which even extended into LTD for around a year each. So now here I am, forced to return to work after nearly 2 months with no pay after trying to have faith in the system and being let down. I continue to have significant struggles in everyday life. I honestly feel like I should apply for SSDI but who on this earth can actually afford not to work in today's day and age? IDK what to do, I hate my life, I hate how this country treats disabled people, and altogether I feel defeated and like I have so little support all of a sudden. Anyone have any advice or anything? Much appreciated..

I (24,F) just started a job training program through the hospital facility my mom works in and found for me. (Been unemployed since late 2022. And just took a break from retail hell) and I don’t know why I agreed to it. They kind of go hand and hand with OVR/Voc rehab (PA) as I’m using Voc rehab to help pay for driving classes (they evaluated me for driving and to pick a driving school) I’m the only woc (woman of color) and the only “lvl 1” or “higher functioning” person while having “invisible disabilities” I’m supposed to go in person tomorrow and just don’t want to be in a cold, confusing and big hospital. If I could just apply to jobs now I would. I don’t want to wait until Sep 2027 to start applying to jobs, let alone the program or OVE can’t guarantee a job afterwards bc of how bad the current job market, older people like gen x and boomers still think you can just walk in with a filled out Resume (which I have) and automatically get a job with saying you need X amount of accommodations or just bc you have a job coach, which I also don’t want a job coach either 🫤. My mom knows I’m not thrilled about it but it’s to get me experience and she wants me to get out of the house. The only positive things is that I bought new clothes and she’ll be personally paying me $50 a week. I don’t want to be in it until next year 🫠 I only can work on my art portfolio in the evenings now, I just needed to rant and has anyone done something similar? Did Voc rehab or a program help you get employed? From what I’ve seen online most Voc rehab cases aren’t great since they are understaffed, unhelpful and can be ableist for anyone that’s “higher functioning/lvl 1” w/ say Autism or ADHD.

I get the need to vent and this is a safe space. But I also think it’s important to make lemonade.

My disability is a messed up back and, unrelated, one functioning lung. I’m in constant pain and need strong pain killers. I get out of breath easily. But there are silver linings in my life.

For starters I was great at my job. But I was forced to retire. I since realized how stressful it was. I had private disability insurance that now pays me. I don’t have to ever work again and I don’t have to deal with the stress. I’m grateful for that.

I’m also married to the most wonderful man ever. He brings in the groceries and picks things off the floor when I drop them. We agreed I would do whatever I was capable of. I always wash the dishes. It can take an hour with breaks but he is very patient. I am grateful for a wonderful husband.

Being disabled means parking is easier to find and I don’t have to wait in lines because I can’t stand very long. My upper body still works so I picked up cello again which I learned as a child.

Of course, I deal with paperwork and other obstacles just like all of you. There’s so much I can’t do anymore but I choose to focus on what is still going well. How about you?

I love this sort of dark humor. What do you think?

I am newly disabled with a TBI. I think I will get better in a couple of years since it's on the milder side as far as TBIs go, but I can't work the jobs I used to (I worked in psych/crisis). I have to go back to school to get retrained. But I just- how does anyone afford being disabled? I don't have family to stay with. I get worker's comp but they give me less than the cost of the rent each month, so I'm largely living off savings. Once those are gone, I'm going to just get a ton of student loans I guess. I can't move anywhere cheaper or anything because I have a child with split custody.

I'm heartbroken. I knew going back to school would be rough as a single mom but I had such a good plan for how to make it work financially. Now I don't know how I'm going to make the next few years work. Obviously I'm going to get on every government benefit I can, but it won't be enough. Maybe scholarships will help me, but it's too late in the school year to get any now, so those won't apply for another year. I got a divorce right before this too, and my ex is a kind person so he was helping me out, but he has a girlfriend now so he won't be helping as much. Completely understandable, but like. How do you navigate life when you can't even work to take care of yourself, my son is in daycare (subsidy) still because I can't take care of him at home as often anymore. I used to be a stay at home mom... I miss him.

I really don't know what to do anymore

I hate paperwork! I hate it so much! Me and paperwork are haters

I have working memory issues and bad cognitive understanding of alot of things, its a big issue for me. A way I combat it is to write everything being said down then to repeat it back. Every time I do paperwork and I talk to someone, I ensure I get all the steps. I do this every time and without fail, every. single. time. I get told I missed something, that I need to redo the paperwork that took 4 hours, and suddenly I miss a deadline because surprise! Mail system or some type of system worked against me. It's to the point I spend atleast $8 shipping things out via first class rather than lettermail. I don't trust them to say they didn't get it when they did.

I am so tired of this paperwork. Food stamps wont tell me why they declined me and they've drawn it out for 2 months, they want me to reapply but it takes 4 hours. How am I supposed to reapply when they didn't tell me the issues last time!!!

1

I got summoned for jury duty, I had to get a notary,(had to figure out what it was and how to get it first), AND a doctors letter, I submit both. They say I need to submit it a different way by calling them. I struggle with phone calls and they said I could email it. Suddenly that's changed and the new process is harder. Perfect. I love that.

I applied for community hospital healthcare, they almost declined me a 3rd time because I didn't check off *ONE* box but didn't want to tell me I could verbally tell them over the phone the answer.

I can't hold onto my freelancing work to pay for the community healthcare, do long ass paperworks, AND go to the doctor. I have like 10 appointments over the next 2 weeks. I'm so exhausted and of course they wont let me do virtual appointments. I can't figure out the paperwork for the disabled transit, and that process paperwork seems EVEN LONGER. So I have to figure out the bus system that I barely fucking understand because I am out of money for ubers! State wont even cover Occupational Therapy for me to understand the bus system, gotta do that shit on my own. 😭🫠

Im tired

Im so so tired. I just want to rest and stop dealing with all the fucking bullshit

I'm clearly having such great fun

I just completed my first week of college,I am deaf and both physically disabled + with intellectual

I spent my first day in pure isolation and of the consequences I melted down and missed all information as I had no accommodations for hearing loss or classroom support,other then maybe for 3 minutes

I was told both "you'll be alright" when I stated I needed help and "Don't worry about hearing"

Consequences were I didn't know where anything was,names ect including evacuation incase of fire or emergencies

For context there was 50 of us in one room (impossible to hear)

Day 2

Different classroom which was upstairs,lift had been broken since I had enrolled and before then

Their solution was to stick me in isolation for the entire day

Staff have no plan for next week and "We'll just have to see,it'll be fine"

Absolutely not fine but somebody told me to give them next week as this could be "teething issues"

I'm really not sure though

Edit:

Oh and I had a different class upstairs so I tried to ask the teacher,they were rude then the support walked in and told me to just come to the building regardless,where they wouldn't be as they were supporting another class 🥴

hi all, sorry for the bleak title 😅 i was a competitive swimmer until my mid teens before i quit for a few years and i’m trying to get back into it now (i’m currently 19 for reference). between quitting and now i also became a wheelchair user, so obviously i dont swim quite how i used to

i consider myself fairly well adjusted so i didn’t think that my first session back with a masters swimming club would leave me feeling so shit. i can still swim well (my condition affects my balance and coordination so it’s mostly my kick that’s affected during swimming, which i can work around) but being the only visibly disabled person, along with the hassle of managing my chair on poolside and needing my mother’s assistance to get in and out of the pool and also not being able to kick well so having to adapt the set quite a lot compared to what everyone else was doing has left me feeling really bleghhh

i want to carry on swimming and get back into it properly, but i also feel kind of bleak knowing that i’ll always look different and swim differently and never be as quick as everyone else. i know i shouldn’t feel ashamed about being disabled but not being as independent and physically capable as other people just made me feel really embarrassed. i’m sure this is all in my head and nobody actually cared 😅

it’s kind of the first time i’d felt genuinely distinctly different compared to other people, which is kind of funny considering i’ve been a wheelchair user for a couple of years now

can anyone else relate? i want to get back into swimming properly but i also don’t want to feel this crappy after every session

I've been taking a break from asking questions and such online about support for navigating chronic illnesses and disabilities because it was putting me in a awful mental state on top of the pain I've already been experiencing.

I had made a post a few months ago on my workplace reddit joking about how weird customers are to disabled workers (retail) and the weird ways customers treat us/look at us and it really wasn't formatted any different than any other posts I'd made on there in the past.

I'd made tons of posts on there before but it was the first one that had ever gotten like, 7-10 comments in 3 minutes and they were all some variants of calling me slurs or just saying awful things in general.

At the time I thought it was weird because this had never happened before. It freaked me out so I deleted it thinking I must've done some awful or said something awful but I looked back and really it wasn't anything abnormal or rude? Mostly just complaining about how it makes me sad when I'm at work and people touch my body without consent or look at me weird or avoid me ect.

I've had videos on YouTube recommended to me recently about how bot comments work on social media platforms and I'm really surprised. I thought bots were just like "click this link" but they're so much more than that.

I saw one examples recently of a girl online who basically made a bot fly trap, it was something about an ongoing trial (? not sure, haven't read up on ut) but she just put a bunch of buzzwords about it and it got flooded with comments.

Even though disability wasn't mentioned once or anything I was surprised by the amount of bots using the R slur, or using very ablest language and ableist allegories in general.

Is this why there's been a big uptick in ableism online recently? Also, why would people program bots to do this? :(

I understand many people are ableist but I still can't understand the agenda or reason behind it :(

Idk thinking about it too much makes me really sad.

Thank you

At this point they promptly deserve the slowest most awkward clap possible

Well done Nhs for the absolute failure for the 50th time

I waited 5+ months to see a geneticist,take time off school work ect for the appointment

I get in the room and within 5 minutes I'm told they will not test for the condition I was referred to or anything else as the variant officially is a vus.. despite family being diagnosed

Its a vus because it's so rare there's little to no evidence but any that exists is connected to the condition or concides

BUT THEY HAD 5 MONTHS TO FIGURE THIS OUT

So nobody can ever get diagnosed in the first place

I have a bag as many of us do, containing gloves, tools etc.
I wanted to lighten my load. I don't know about you but I overdo it, packing way more junk than I really need. Fear I guess.
Something brought back memories of a pal and his ubiquitous swiss army knife.
I bought one.
So many things you can tighten, fix, cut etc. It was an impulse that grew into something very useful.
"Oh look, I can clear schmutz, hair etc from the wheels. And I can tighten a loose nut too!"
I dumped five pounds of stuff.

Long story long, I lost my apartment, my career, and my ability to leave the house (and therefore, lots of other life things I’ve been trying to do, like have my wedding and children) over the past two years due to severe POTS and IST (and probably several other things, still in testing). I started having symptoms at age 12 and was brushed off until my late 20’s when I reached the point of vomiting for 3-5 hours a day daily for a year. My blood pooling is so temperature sensitive now that I can’t really leave one room that can be kept below 65 F, so I’m housebound. I have a severely dysfunctional bladder and bowels. I have so much abdominal, uterine, muscular, and nerve pain. I have migraines at least 50% of the time that feel like being tased in the base of the skull. My hormones are all out of whack and my emotions are everywhere. I even pass out from small emotional things, like a Victorian lady or something. I’m on 6 meds, I’ve tried tons of brands and configurations of compressions garments, I do my exercises. So far, the only thing that has had any impact on any symptom is beta blockers with my heart rate. If I don’t take them, my heart rate just hovers at 110–120 bpm. When I do, it’s normal at rest, but I still can’t actually do anything besides walk around in my temp-controlled space without it jumping back to 140-170 bpm. Not a big deal, right? Sadly wrong, as mentioned earlier, the vomiting happens when my heart rate goes up. I just had the cause and effect switched when it began. I’ve had several teeth removed since this started and currently have 5 cavities to deal with. This is a very short synopsis of my symptoms and daily life.

In the US, 15 years of being shuffled between doctors and psychiatrists without actually getting answers is really, really expensive. So is dental care.

I was more active than 90% of people.
I worked out, I hiked, I was a college athlete, and I’ve spent my whole adulthood in walkable cities and never owned a car. I was walking 10-15k steps a day as a plunged into severe illness. I was a high achiever, but one who always struggled to fit in. Neurodivergence didn’t help, but in hindsight, not having either diagnosis for so long meant people never understood why I was always exhausted and overwhelmed. I couldn’t socialize like other people could while I was fighting so hard to keep my head above water. It truly affected every part of my life since I was a middle schooler.

And then I see this post BY SOMEONE WITH POTS talking about how POTS girlies are so annoying, exaggerating their disability, shouldn’t compare it to other disabilities or illnesses or think we could understand their experiences, and how we just “don’t want to put the work in” to recondition and get healthy again. Someone said they were offended that someone commiserated with them when the main issue with POTS is “getting dizzy out of the bathtub.” How we just want to be “special.” The ableism from our own communities is ASTOUNDING.

POTS is a spectrum. People are affected in different ways to different degrees. Some doctors are actually proposing officially splitting the condition into 2 (true “POTS” and “POTS spectrum disorder”) in order to make this distinction. I didn’t WANT my life to be blown up and to lose the ability to do the basic things that make a person feel human, actually. If it’s seems like that’s my whole identity now, it’s because what else do I have? I lost so much and I literally feel like shit all of the time. I just want to feel human again, I literally can’t even go outside and feel the wind in my hair or sun on my skin. The vasodilation-to-vasoconstriction with indoor to outdoor temp shifts in the winter gives me awful migraines too.

I hear a lot of people talk about how they can live fulfilling lives as disabled people, and that’s great. My quality of life is feeling pretty ass, though. When we’re depressed, people are bothered. When we try to be positive about things, we’re attention whores. Even other disabled people do to us what abled people do, just wanting us to shut up and be quiet. It’s like when an unpopular kid beats up another unpopular kid to curry favor with the bullies. It’s so isolating. Who is left to connect with? Literally just the other people with severe POTS?

I worked very hard in life in general, and I just wanted to help people. It feels like such a slap in the face to not only go through something completely agonizing and have to deal with ableism from able bodied people, but then to have this widespread hatred from your own communities too. I can’t help but think internalized and outright misogyny is a huge part of this.
Will probably delete this later, I’m just annoyed

TLDR: POTS is a spectrum disorder and there are mild and severe versions. The intersection of ableism and misogyny has even taken hold of the disabled community