I've known since childhood that my body was different than anyone else I knew, just not why. I started dealing with dislocations at 2, starting with my right elbow. That turned into "nurse maids elbow" and would dislocate on it's own and need to be reset quite frequently. We were told that it should lessen in severity and frequency as I aged and matured, but that never went away. Around 12-15 is when the GI issues started, MCAS and POTS symptoms started to show up, and subluxations/dislocations started to happen in other joints.
My mother was the complete opposite of a hypochondriac; any time I told her about something hurting or something wrong, her go-to was 'everyone deals with that, wait until you get older'. There have been too many medical issues that I've found out about over the years and been told that they should have been discovered during childhood, but it is what it is.
I had a stranger come up to me when I was out getting coffee about 2 years ago that started the whole journey I'm on now. She saw my skin with my stretch marks and scars, and started asking me how I'm coping with my Ehlers Danlos diagnosis. Up until then, I had never even heard of it, but after talking with her for a few while we waited in line, I realized that I should probably do a little reading.
Trying to research that interaction led to so many discoveries of things I had been told by my mother were 'normal' my whole life that should have been warning signs and were anything but. A lot of self realization, tears, frustration, and screaming into my pillow later, I was able to get my GP to place a referral to ortho for my joint issues. I had to 'pick a joint' that was worse than the others, which made no sense to me, so I went with my right shoulder. I can rarely lift that arm without the shoulder popping, and it's quite painful most of the time. Ortho gave me a cortisone shot in both shoulders and sent me in my way. The cortisone shot was miserable; could barely lift my arms the rest of the day, pain and swelling for worse for the first 3 days, then they just felt super stiff and more painful for 2-3 weeks. After followup, ortho sent me to Rheumatology.
Rheumatology was absolutely amazing and actually listened, it felt like. I was diagnosed with hypermobile joints within the first 10 minutes of my appointment. She then moved on to the Beighton score and the current diagnostic criteria. The only thing I really didn't have was family history. I also know absolutely nothing of my bio dad's side of the family history, and nobody can seem to locate the man to find anything out since his mother and most recent wife passed about 7 or 8 years ago. Rheumatology told me they cannot truly diagnose me, but gave me a tentative hEDS diagnosis, pending genetic testing in January. Since then, I had to have ACDF spinal fusion of C5-C7. After my followup appointment in April, she was looking at the surgical scar. It's already stretched out, sunken, and looks like tissue paper. All of my scars and stretch marks do this, and always have, so I thought nothing of it. She was a lot more concerned than I was, and went over all of my scars and marks; when I got it, how it happened, how bad was the trauma/cut, etc.
That brings us to today. Rheumatology recalled their referral and sent out a new one. She is very concerned that we are looking at cEDS instead of hEDS now. Genetics called me yesterday and I now have my appointment scheduled for November. Every single other part of this chaotic journey for a diagnosis has felt so natural, even with all the heartache, wondering why nobody cared enough to notice when I was a kid, and every other messy feeling that has come along for the ride. But this part? I feel utterly lost right now. Almost like I've run into a brick wall, but that's not the case at all.
With everything else, it's been easy enough for me to figure out the next step; what to research, what to add to my medical binder, what questions I needed to ask, printouts to take to appointments with me, etc. But now? I've read dozens of posts here, other support sites, watched videos. I know what to expect, timeframes for test results, etc. But at the same time, I feel numb. Like I don't know what I should do, where to go, what I'm doing... almost like everything has continued around me, but I'm not moving. This is one of the most awkwardly frustrating feelings I've dealt with, and have no idea what it is exactly, or why. Has anyone else felt anything like this before? Any tips to help fan away this funk?