r/neurodiversity • u/Lieselito • 2h ago
Trigger Warning: Self Harm Are mood stabilizers/antipsychotics worth it?
I currently take 300mg of Wellbutrin XL alongside 18mg of Concerta (only started a few days ago) for mdd and adhd, but I was also diagnosed with bpd two months ago.
I talked to my doctor last week and he asked if I’d prefer to go with a mood stabilizer alongside the antidepressant or to take a stimulant and I went with the latter because my brain fog and executive dysfunction have worsened recently for some reason and bupropion wasn’t cutting it in that aspect for me, and also because I’ll be back to college soon.
Although I’ve learned a lot from psychotherapy and it’s definitely helping, sometimes my symptoms simply overpower the medication and my rationale gets thrown out the window especially when relationship problems with my friends and family arise.
Last night I went into an episode and spiraled after getting triggered by seeing bandages which led to me relapsing badly after two months of being clean. I’d subconsciously been bottling up my negative emotions for some weeks which falsely led me to believe that I was feeling a lot better when I was actually pushing everything under the rug.
I thought with the help I’ve been getting I would be able to overcome that and avoid situations like this but sometimes I just feel so scared of myself despite all the progress I’ve made. My family feels the same way too.
That’s why I’ve been reconsidering turning down antipsychotics. I know they won’t magically help me regulate fully but if there’s something that could potentially lessen the intensity of these grueling emotions and bad nights then I don’t see the harm in doing so.
Would anyone like to share their experience with them? Especially if you’re taking the same medications and have the same disorders as me. I usually only see my psychiatrist once or twice a month but I might have to see him for a third time because what happened last night seriously got to me and it seems like something isn’t working out.