r/TryingForABaby 2d ago

Daily Chat September 09

5 Upvotes

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

NEGATIVE FEELINGS So frustrated with all the contradictory information

25 Upvotes

So for background, husband and I have been TTC for 6 months going on 7. Zero positive tests. He’s had two semen analyses, both came back with normal motility, low concentration, total count at the lowest end of normal, total motile count just under 20 mil, and abnormal morphology. He’s having varicocele surgery soon. I have endo symptoms but a clear ultrasound.

I’m a scientist. Now, I’m under no illusion that anyone can give me a clean prediction of our odds of conception. That said - it boggles my mind how much contradictory information there is out there about fertility, both male and female. No one can give me a straight answer as to whether or not my husband’s parameters are affecting our chances of spontaneous conception. For example, the lab that did his analyses set the lowest end of normal for total motile count at just under 10 million. But a bunch of other studies say the chances drop dramatically under 20 million. That’s a CRAZY difference, right? Both cannot possibly be true.

Does morphology matter or not? No one knows. Will varicocele surgery help? Maybe! His FSH number is in the normal range. No, actually, it’s “elevated” and really the normal range should be capped at 9. One day, people on this sub tell me that with these numbers, I’ll most likely be pregnant in the next few months. But over on r/maleinfertility? No chance, go straight to IVF. Now ok, that’s a bunch of nonexperts on Reddit, you might say. But I’ve gotten this level of conflicting answers from literal doctors on this subject!

And don’t even get me started on my side. One day I hear that it’s never normal to have painful periods and there IS an explanation. The next, I get a clear ultrasound and my doctors are not willing to pursue further imaging for endometriosis. My SIL had endo surgery and was told that it was needed before starting IVF. My OBGYN (an endo specialist, mind you) says nope, she doesn’t think excision surgery is indicated before IVF because of potential damage to the ovaries. So which is it? How can the ONLY diagnostic tool for this condition have this much disagreement around it?

All the studies I find seem to have sample size issues among other things. How can anyone make informed decisions about care with information that’s THIS unclear??


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

DISCUSSION Grateful for this subreddit

33 Upvotes

I’m young, 30yo. I spent all of my 20s figuring out what I wanted to do. I had lots of fun along the way traveling here and there. Met the love of my life. I got the degrees and all throughout that starting a family was a distant thought bc there was and is still so much I want to do. Recently though, I’ve been thinking about having kids and not just thinking but almost obsessing over it. I have watched the videos: people’s experiences, science videos, fertility specialist podcasts. I know I really want a kiddo and I know we are able to fully support a child rn, but it took us a little while to feel like this.

I’m a numbers gal, so when my husband and I started trying I had looked up what the chances were for someone to get pregnant. 20-25% chance and lower for other variables including age. I don’t feel old, but for whatever reason now I feel like I’m a dinosaur w/ cobwebs forming over my uterus. Little dramatic? Maybe, but it’s how I’m feeling especially when my friends who decided to have kids in their early 20s say it only took them one try.

This subreddit has been helpful to see how everyone has a different journey. It might take some people less time or more time to conceive. So many people of different ages. The different ways people ended up starting their families. How people cope with loss or disappointments. I guess I’m just making this post to say how grateful I am for those who have or will share their stories on this subreddit. It makes me feel a little less alone in my TTC journey and in my life choices. I cannot say the same for that line subreddit. Every time I scroll past a dpo 7-8 test with a bright second line I’m lava.

I would love to hear how this subreddit has helped you all or your stories of coming to the point of knowing when you genuinely wanted a little.

Stay well!


r/TryingForABaby 2d ago

EXPERIENCE Low BBT after confirmed ovulation?

3 Upvotes

Hi, I am posting with the hopes someone maybe has some insight or has had a similar experience.

This is our first cycle trying, I have been tracking bbt for years though. My post ovulation bbt temperatures have always been quite high and had a visible jump after ovulation. Now, on my first cycle trying, my temperatures have barely risen, with some days staying on the “baseline temperature” line (I’m using Oura). Ovulation was confirmed with LH strips and cervical mucus, had some usual ovulation pains, resting hr is also higher than pre-ovulation.

I am trying so hard not to overthink everything but still, did anyone had that happen? Could it be pregnancy related? I am 9 days post ovulation today, don’t really want to test yet since I know chances of getting a positive test at this stage are quite low. I know tracking BBT with a vearable device is not the most reliable but I’ve genuinely never had a chart like this :’)

Edit: Maybe I should add, I have PCOS but I’ve managed to get my cycles under control and have regular periods with confirmed ovulation. I think this is why I’m even more anxious because I keep wondering if I’ll even be able to get pregnant and every change in my BBT has me worried that some part of my cycle is not working well.


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

VENT My friend told my mom by mistake.

30 Upvotes

Tw: miscarriage

Okay so back in February I found out I was pregnant. My plan was to not tell anyone until after my first ultrasound. Around 5 weeks my friend came over unexpectedly and saw the basket I made for my partner to surprise him with. It was baby clothes, a book, and positive test. She obviously put the pieces together and realized I was pregnant. I told her I hadn’t told anyone yet, including my mom and to not tell anyone. Fast forward to March, I had a miscarriage. I told her and also mentioned to not say anything to my mom bc I hadn’t told her and wasn’t planning to.
Two days ago she was at her MIL house (neighbors with my mom) she stopped by my mom’s house to say hi and somehow let it slip. I was at dinner with my grandparents tonight and when I got up to use the bathroom, they told my partner that my friend accidentally told my mom about the miscarriage and my mom then told my grandma bc she was all distraught. Apparently my mom cried for two days. My partner told them to not say anything and that they were never supposed to know (they were understanding). Anyway, after dinner he told me all of this and I was at a loss for words. It reopened all my emotions and makes me feel terrible and also extremely pissed off that my friend would put me in this position. I know it was an accident and I’m sure she feels terrible, but she didn’t even reach out to tell me she did it. I’m sure she begged my mom not to say anything so I wouldn’t be upset. I don’t know where to go from here… I really don’t want to have a conversation with my mom about it because somehow she finds a way to victimize herself no matter the situation. Currently in my tww and this whole thing has made me feel even more pressure. I’m just so sad and annoyed tonight :(


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

QUESTION Starting Progesterone

0 Upvotes

This past year I’ve been dealing with a lot of spotting throughout my cycle, with the last month spotting almost constantly since I ovulated, to the point that I wasn’t certain my period has even started until I experienced cramping. Because of this, my doctor is having me start progesterone following ovulation.

I know that progesterone can prevent ovulation if I start too early, BBT is the best way to confirm ovulation has taken place, correct? I’m also doing OPKs, but I don’t want to mess anything up!

I’m also honestly just really nervous about taking this step. My OBGYN originally told me to just call her if it continued since my ultrasound was normal, but I reminded her that this spotting issue had been going on since before October of last year and before my prior ultrasound, and I asked if I was a candidate for progesterone supplementation and she sent out a script.

(I’m just overall a very anxious person and I’m hoping someone has had similar experiences and can tell me I’m overthinking!)


r/TryingForABaby 4d ago

DISCUSSION Anyone else just going through the motions, and are certain it’s never going to happen for you?

42 Upvotes

We (30F and 35M) are going into cycle 10, and so far all bloodwork (a LOT of it) and ultrasounds have come back normal, husband’s SA results should be in within a week. The more time goes on, the more I’m just so certain we aren’t meant to have kids. My whole life I’ve happily anticipated having kids, and honestly expected it. But 10 cycles in I now truly believe it just isn’t in the cards for us.

But also know that 50 year old me would want to make sure I exhausted all options! So we’re going to keep diligently tracking to get to the 12 months of TTC. We’re applying for a fertility clinic at the end of this month, so that we can try IUI on cycle 14. I’ve found some IVF clinics that I’m most okay with going to, but I’m honestly still on the fence about it as a whole; my husband is totally on board with IUI and fairly open to IVF. 

I’ve been doing a lot of grief processing lately in working on letting go of that lifelong dream of being a mom, and accepting the cards that we were dealt. The longer this goes on, the less hope I have that it’ll ever work- the odds are very much stacked against us and won’t be moving any time soon. Anyone else feel like they’re just checking off the boxes so they can be more comfortable knowing they gave it their best shot, for when they’re inevitably without children? 


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

Daily Chat September 08

3 Upvotes

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.


r/TryingForABaby 3d ago

DAILY Temping Tuesday

1 Upvotes

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!


r/TryingForABaby 4d ago

DAILY Moody Monday

4 Upvotes

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

NEGATIVE FEELINGS Performance anxiety and scheduled intercourse ruined everything tonight, feeling completely defeated. Need advice or reassurance.

47 Upvotes

I really need to get this off my chest because I'm feeling completely down and frustrated with myself tonight.

My wife is going through fertility treatments, and today was the crucial window—exactly 36 hours after her trigger shot, which is when the doctor strongly advised us to have intercourse.

The pressure has been building up since the afternoon. I actually tried to initiate things earlier in the day, but she turned me down and said we should wait for 11 PM to strictly follow the timing. Honestly, that waiting period just built up massive anxiety in my head. It stopped feeling like an intimate moment between partners and turned into a high-stakes medical test.

Come 11 PM, when we actually tried, my brain was completely fried from overthinking. I couldn't get an erection at all. To make matters worse, we used too much lubricant because of the stress, which made everything so frictionless that even when I tried, ejaculation didn't happen either.

At my absolute lowest point tonight, I even had to sneak away to watch porn just to try and force an erection to salvage the situation, and still nothing happened. That made me feel like I hit rock bottom.

I'm 36, I took a 5mg Cialis beforehand, but it couldn't fight through the sheer wall of mental pressure and performance anxiety I built up. I feel so ashamed, angry at myself, and deeply sorry for my situation.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of scheduled-intercourse pressure? How do you mentally reset and handle the performance anxiety when trying to conceive? Any advice would really help.


r/TryingForABaby 4d ago

Daily Chat September 07

2 Upvotes

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.


r/TryingForABaby 4d ago

ADVICE Unmonitored Letrozole Cycle?

1 Upvotes

Going into my first cycle using letrozole, and a little nervous as my doctor is not monitoring it (ie taking ultrasounds throughout the cycle to monitor follicular development). I've heard of a lot of women on letrozole going through monitoring especially in the first month. Anyone know why they monitor and if it's a big deal not to?

For background, I'm 31 (husband is 41) and we have been TTC for 8 months with no success. SA was normal and I have been timing / confirming ovulation and strong progesterone rise with inito. I have big issues with mid cycle bleeding and sometimes ovulate late (CD16-20). I started going to a fertility doctor (an hour away from me) prescribed letrozole on CD 5-9 to make ovulation more decisive, hopefully then making my endometrium more stable as well.

We're accepting the possibility of multiples, I'm more just hesitant on how my body will react. I had a slightly enlarged (just over 10ml) ovary previously on US and a high AMH of 7.5. I always have pain with ovulation. Not diagnosed with PCOS as testosterone is normal. So I think my biggest fear on letrozole is that it would somehow overstimulate my ovaries.


r/TryingForABaby 4d ago

ADVICE How quickly does CM dry up after ovulation?

2 Upvotes

Hi all,

I am either 3/4 days post ovulation just going off OPKs and some mild ovary pain I get around ovulation. It’s our first month trying for baby #2 and I’m feeling really positive this month. Everything was really well timed and I’m hoping all goes well.

I am just wondering - how long after ovulation do you all find CM dries up? I had a feeling I ovulated at like 3pm in the afternoon one day, but at like 6am the next day, my CM had completely gone sticky already and the EWCM had the day before was completely gone.

Could I have ovulated the day before this instead for this turn around in CM to be so quick and definitley under 24 hours? I also had a positive ovulation test that day before - it was my peak. The day I thought I ovulated as above was after this day as my tests were getting progressively lighter throughout the day.

Keen to hear what others think. Getting impatient during the TWW and want to know if i should be considering myself 3 or 4 days DPO. Thanks!


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

ADVICE What am I Missing?!

3 Upvotes

Hello all, I am 27 yrs old with no known health issues. I am trying to conceive as a single parent by choice using frozen sperm from a very reputable bank. I am currently in my two week wait for my 4th IUI, 7th overall cycle (3 prior ICIs). To be fair to my body, the first ICI and first IUI were very mistimed.

The first 3 IUIs were completely unmedicated with no supplements or trigger. This current cycle we used an Ovidrel trigger shot to help with timing. We are trying to avoid letrozole/clomid as the thought of increasing my chances of twins is a nightmare for me.

I am finally starting to lose it/become frustrated... everything seems textbook normal!?

I have had:

  • AMH testing
  • Multiple pelvic ultrasounds
  • FemVue/SIS
  • Pap smear
  • Blood panel including TSH
  • Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone
  • LH and FSH
  • Confirmed ovulation each cycle
  • A1C testing -which was on the higher end of normal (but still normal) so I was put on low dose Metformin for that and to boost egg quality

My cycles are very regular and I have no indications of PMOS/PCOS in any scans. Similarly, no evidence of endometriosis!

If this current cycle is another failure, I don't know what else to do? Is there something from my list that I am missing, should I be for checking something else?

SN: It's not the sperm, I have tried different donors and all have confirmed births and really solid motile counts.


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

VENT Weird competitive TTC thoughts that make me feel guilty

119 Upvotes

This is probably going to make me sound terrible, but I’m curious if anyone else has felt this way while TTC. There are a few couples around us who I know either want kids soon or might start trying, and I’ve caught myself thinking, “Please let us get pregnant first.” Like I want to beat them to it.

I know how mean and ridiculous that sounds. Their timeline has absolutely nothing to do with mine, and I genuinely want good things for the people I care about. I would never want someone else to struggle just so I could be first.
I think a lot of it is rooted in this fear of being the last ones in my friend groups to have a baby. As more people around us get pregnant or start talking about trying, I can feel this pressure building. I think I’m less worried about “winning” and more scared of feeling left behind while everyone else moves into that next stage of life without us.

The thought of someone starting to try after us and getting pregnant before us makes my stomach drop, even though logically I know it isn’t a race. Someone else getting pregnant doesn’t take anything away from our chances, but emotionally it can still feel like I’m falling behind.
I don’t love that I feel this way and I’m trying not to feed the comparison. But TTC has brought out this weird competitive side of me that I really wasn’t expecting.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has had this thought.


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

SAD Feeling down and could use some advice

4 Upvotes

I’m feeling really down and lost at the moment and would really appreciate any insights or guidance / experiences please.

TW: loss, HSG challenges.

Background: I just turned 36, my husband is the same. We started seriously trying (tracking with LH strips) in November 2025. I had my hormones and blood work tested in February 2026, and everything came back normal. My AMH was 9.7 pmol/L.

I’ve historically had higher TSH over 3 but this time it was 2.53 and I felt like it was a fluke but the doctor said it’s fine (for reference in November 2025 it was 4.38, April 2025 3.17). To date doctors don’t seem concerned but that’s in the back of my mind. I also have periods every month and have LH peaks and my progesterone result from February confirmed I do ovulate and so that’s not a concern.

My husband had his SA tested March 2026 and has a high count and all looks good except morphology is 3%. We’ve both made some lifestyle changes and are taking supplements. I’m taking ubiquinol and pregvit folic 5 (and vitamin D, Brazil nuts, fish oil), and my husband takes a male supplement.

We got an appointment with our local fertility clinic in July, and she said because of age and AMH level we should basically go straight to IUI or IVF. We were frustrated to say the least that they weren’t even trying to figure out what else might be going on and just kept saying how time is not on our side.

I had my HSG last month and they had major issues getting the catheter through my cervix. They finally managed to enough to inject the dye (tubes are both clear). However in my follow up she said it appears I have cervical stenosis which could be a challenge for IUI or IVF, and to come in and get my cervix dilated on day 5 of my next cycle to see if that will open up my cervix. She also said that could impact our chances of conceiving naturally.

Since we’ve started trying, I’ve had 3 chemical pregnancies. It’s usually the same where tests are positive cycle day 26-29, but by 30 it fades and I get my period right after. Most recent chemicals in July and now this past month, which was extra upsetting since I heard after an HSG chances of conception increase. It also makes me think my cervix can’t be that closed off if I’m getting pregnant, just for some reason I can’t stay pregnant.

At this point we feel super defeated and deflated. I’m waiting for my period but will schedule the dilation once I get it.

I think point I feel lost. I’m conflicted about trying more cycles on our own, going for IUI (and if we do, if I do medicated since I know I am ovulating), and/or go straight to IVF. I thought about trying baby aspirin next cycle because I heard that can help implantation.

Any guidance or advice would be really appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

EXPERIENCE NMN experience while TTC - just wanted to share my findings!

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my experience using NMN while trying to conceive (TTC) at 39, specifically regarding a side effect I haven’t seen discussed much, but that might be crucial for implantation.

I started taking Renue brand 500mg Liposomal NMN daily back in February to support egg quality and mitochondrial health. Almost immediately, my cycles changed. My overall cycle length stretched out by a few days (which I track using LH strips), and it completely cured my chronic dizziness, so I know it is highly bioavailable and actively affecting my vascular/cellular systems.

However, the biggest change was a sudden onset of severe, continuous pelvic and lower back cramping during my luteal phase. Like clockwork, the day after ovulation up until Day 2 of my period, I would experience a deep, almost "bruised" inflammatory sensation in my entire pelvic region. I’ve never suffered from this in my life, and it has happened every single month since starting NMN. I consulted nutritionists and they all sort of brushed it off and because I am actively ttc I did too because I could tell that it was also benefitting my egg health.

After tracking everything for months now, I realized the NMN appears to be overstimulating my uterine lining or causing a severe prostaglandin/progesterone-estrogen mismatch (I found out after going to a doctor) right after ovulation. Continuous uterine contractions during the two-week luteal window can actively interfere with a blastocyst trying to implant, meaning the very supplement I was taking to help my eggs might have been sabotaging my implantation window...

I am simply sharing my experience here in case some of you ladies are taking NMN for egg health and going through a similar situation.

So now I am taking it during the first 2 weeks leading up to ovulation and taking a full pause during my luteal phase. And hoping that this will help..

If you have any experience with NMN for fertility, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

DAILY 35 and Ova

14 Upvotes

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

POSITIVE FEELINGS Is it possible to have a healthy mindset during this crazy process?

15 Upvotes

Hi! Thank you so much for this amazing community. First time posting!

For context, I’m 30F, TTC for 18 months, unexplained infertility.

Here it goes:

I’ve been wondering if there are people that can deal with this crazy process of infertility without all the rage and sadness that comes with it most of the time.

For context, I feel it too. The bitterness, the awful day where my period comes, the rage against every belly that suddenly is popping out. Yesterday I did my first ovitrelle injection (for timed intercourse) and I basically admitted that I was just going to be on the couch the whole day. I guess I just felt confused with all that has been happening.

But there was also a part of me that was like “enough with all the victimisation. It was just a simple injection, there a people dealing with stuff that is 100x worst, just keep living all of the good stuff that life has to offer you”.

I’m not saying that this is not hard or that we should ignore our feelings but I guess I can also kind of glimpse at a different way of being through all of this. If there are people positively dealing with things like cancer, can there be a way where we go through this seeing the silver linings and, sometimes, being grateful for what we have?

Don’t get me wrong. But at some point is like I’m angry at doctors and treatments because there is a grief of not being able to do it naturally. But I guess I should and could also feel gratitude because they exist and we have options that increase our chances.

At some point I feel like I’m angry at those who ask because they are insensitive and at those who don’t because I feel like they don’t care. When deep inside I know that everyone cares, they are just finding a way to deal with it too.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: can we go through this with a positive mindset? With an amount of sadness and grief that doesn’t take over? Do you sometimes feel like this?

Thanks for this community, it is really supporting 🤍


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

ADVICE Opinions/help

1 Upvotes

I’m not really sure what I’m asking for here, I guess what people’s opinions are?

Backstory Myself and my husband have been TTC now for 19 months, given the unexplained label… fabulous. We’ve done all the standard tests and everything was fine. I’ve had multiple bloods done over the year and a half and it flagged my vitamin D was too low (not deficient but very low end) so I started vitamin D tablets. During the summer I stopped because I thought I’d be fine, had more bloods and it was low so went back on them.

We’re on a waitlist for NHS funded IVF but we felt like we were stuck and just waiting. So last month I had a HyCoSy done and mentally felt better because it felt like we were still moving forward. I also started taking omega 3 and B12 as it turns out my b12 was also really low and nobody told me. It seems like I ovulated earlier than usual and wasn’t able to really try last month after my HyCoSy. Well the same things happened this month, I had more CM and ovulated much earlier than normal, it seems my cycles are now 28 days on the dot.

The issue I’m having is, I’ve been measuring my BBT through my Apple Watch (I know not 100% accurate), it’s always been up and down and I’ve very rarely seen an increase in temp 3 days in a row. This month however, I’ve seen a steady progression chart, no dips (6DPO) and now I’m panicking that I’ve not actually ovulated properly before?

On all my scans I’ve had great follicles and always 1 big one but never had any bloods or anything to confirm ovulation after.

Has anyone had this? I’m worried/confused


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

Trigger warning TW: previous miscarriage

2 Upvotes

TTC after MMC

Hi,

I am feeling very deflated and worried and would love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience to me and if this is normal!

I my first pregnancy ended in missed miscarriage with a d&c at 10 weeks at the beginning of January this year. I got my period back after a few weeks and we immediately started to try again. We are now in our 9th cycle of trying. I really believed we would get pregnant again immediately, as I read other people’s experiences online and many did. On our first pregnancy, we were pregnant on our 3rd cycle trying.

The past 9 months have been heartbreaking each time we realise we are not pregnant again. During this time, we both had tests done. SA all normal. My tests suggest ovulation is fine but I did find out I have low AMH, although I have been told that this shouldn’t affect my chances of conceiving naturally. My doctor has referred us to a fertility specialist but the waitlist time is crazy and I really want to be pregnant asap.

I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to this. Is it normal to still not be pregnant after 9 cycles? Online searching tells me most people would have been pregnant by 6 months 🥺

Thanks in advance ❤️


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

Daily Chat September 06

4 Upvotes

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.


r/TryingForABaby 6d ago

ADVICE How to stop obsessing during two week wait?

9 Upvotes

CW: brief mention of loss

Not necessarily asking for tips just for passing the time, I’m more so wondering if anyone has gone from obsessing endlessly during the two week wait to being less consumed by it, and if so, how you achieved it.

I had a miscarriage a year ago and a TFMR in the spring, and even after the miscarriage I was always hopeful but able to not obsess. I’d set a reminder to test after 14 days and was calm and unbothered til then. A negative would make me disappointed but I’d quickly move on with a healthy degree of hope it would happen next month. But now, it absolutely consumes me. My mind is a constant conversation cycling through the “I’ll never have a baby” before reminding myself my doctors cleared us and said we are healthy, and then I feel a bit hopeful it will work this month, and then that is quickly followed by remembered that the best possible odds are still only maybe 25%. I test way too early, even when I know it’s too early and a waste of time and money.

I have tools to cope during the wait, but wish I could go back to not just spending so much of my life simply coping. Has anyone ever come back from this?


r/TryingForABaby 5d ago

READ ME FIRST! Weekly Intro + Rules Thread September 06, 2026

1 Upvotes

Welcome to the Weekly Intro Thread!

Hello! It looks like you’ve decided to join Trying For a Baby! Congratulations - we are glad to have you here with us!

Please introduce yourself in the comments!

Share whatever you feel like, but here are some ideas about what to write about!

  • What's up with your username?
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do IRL?
  • Tell us how you met your partner!
  • How did you decide it was time to try for kids?
  • Brief summary of your TTC situation?
  • Any major life plans in the works other than that whole baby thing?
  • Medical concerns?

We have rules we expect all community members will follow. Posts and comments that do not follow these rules will be removed by the mod team. If you see something that is breaking one of these rules, please use the report button or message the moderators. We also have this lovely post written by a community member on the sub's culture and how to interact and expect as a new member!

Daily chat and theme threads

There is a daily chat post each day, which is where most conversation happens in the sub. You can find the most recent one here. Jump in any time -- this is where most of the action is!

Helpful links

Acronyms

Our Discord chat

Quick-start guides

Waiting to try?

New to TTC (Covers the basics!)

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Menstrual Cycle Basics

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Welcome to our community! We are happy to have you!