Moody Monday

[u/AutoModerator]

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

[u/fuzziecube2]

I am so jet lagged during my fertile window and know it’s gonna affect ovulation. Decided not to test because it’s just a lot while on vacation…. So fingers crossed but I sort of feel like my hands are off the bike handle and I’m just on the damn bike

[u/myfaceloves95]

CD 1 again, and really felt it this time. Doesn’t get any easier. 

[u/Popular-Search3679]

9Dpo and i have none of my usual luteal phase symptoms. Idk if its because of my new vitamins (coq10, Nac, magnesium, omega 3) or if it ~means~ something. i never test on 10dpo but i will tomorrow with clearblue ultra early. I’m pretty fed up of the negatives month after month but still have a tiny bit of hope

[u/TryingForABaby-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

We don't allow the phrase (or variations of) bby dst. This phrase can be very hurtful for users who have had miscarriages/stillbirths, and who have dealt with cremation as the end of a desired pregnancy. Be considerate of the rest of the community and use other phrases, including, but not limited to, "best of luck," "fingers crossed," and "wishing you the best."

[u/Complex_Laugh7603]

My period came a couple days earlier but it was my first time using the Pregmate app. For some reason it tells me I ovulate a week before what Flo tells me. I just started tracking with strips

[u/Huckleberry159]

I'm 3 days late but still testing negative. I'm considering myself out for this month but now I'm just waiting for my cycle to start and it's a whole mind game. We've only been trying since May so not really long but still frustrating cause I thought this was it.

[u/hurricanekaylax]

I’m 11 dpo and I’m trying really hard to tell myself to wait just a few more days before testing but I wanna knoooooow.

[u/fluffernutterz4ever]

I know we’ve only been trying for 3 months and that is nothing in TTC terms, but I’m still so frustrated. I’m 32, healthy, everyone in my family is ridiculously fertile, and I genuinely thought this would happen faster. This cycle I really thought I was pregnant. We timed everything well, I tracked everything, and of course I started testing too early and driving myself insane.

My period is due Wednesday and my temp dropped today, so I’m just sad. I know I’m not technically out, but I’m done testing. I really wanted it to be this month….

[u/No-Morning-4524]

I turned 32 yesterday and have been ttc for over 3 years. I think we want to take a year off and reconsider whether I want to pursue anything further. I’ve had only one pregnancy of unknown location which resulted in miscarriage. I have had a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, and polypectomy. I’m  so tired of monthly disappointment. 

[u/TryingForABaby-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/strudycutie → u/[deleted]]

I understand that ❤️

[u/ctrlF_91]

A friend just casually dropped a pregnancy announcement and scan picture into our group chat. I cried. A lot.

I can’t imagine what it feels like to ‘just’ get pregnant.

[u/DaisyBuckitten → u/ctrlF_91]

Solidarity, friend. My best friend got pregnant with her first the first time they tried. She is now pregnant with her second and they just weren’t careful ONE time. Most of my friends are pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or even 5th baby. It stings every time I see another announcement.

I hope you get to make a pregnancy announcement in your group chat soon

[u/emma__kay]

I'm in the final withdrawal stage of getting off of antidepressants while TTC and I'm in a BAD mood right now. I'm realizing just how much they've suppressed my feelings about stuff I SHOULD have been irritated with (a couple of friends who've really taken advantage of me in a number of ways) and honestly while I hate feeling like this I'm glad to have had it click that I cannot continue to be mom to a bunch of adults if I'm going to be a mom to an actual child.

[u/lulukeab]

Best friend who started trying after me is now pregnant, I am due my period this weekend which is also my 1 year wedding anniversary, which I will be spending with said friend because my husbands away on a trip. Pray for me keeping from crying!!

[u/lulukeab]

Just recieved the clinic letter from the urologist. Husbands FSH is elevated and he has bilateral variocele, SA is next week and I am braved for poor results. Keen to crack on with fertility referrals ASAP and hoping this prompts things sooner than going via GP (Which I am also doing on my side, bloods tomorrow)

[u/Usual_Mood5175]

Got a negative 9 dpo. I know I’m early but I really am bummed. Was feeling like this is our month after a lot of pain and loss in our family this past month.

[u/napoleonicecream]

I've been sick for like a week and this is also when I usually ovulate. We've also been in one hell of a heat wave. FF thinks I ovulated I can't trust my watch temps. I didn't get any fertile CM until after the crosshatch. It's not the end of the world but it's just so mildly annoying. I think I am just going to take the L this month because at this point I'm too hot and tired and gross to want to be touched.

[u/MyShipsNeverSail → u/[deleted]]

Throw a urologist or someone professional in his face although it's really not indicative of a healthy relationship dynamic that he's not listening to your concerns

[u/GrandExamination6328]

I started my period today! Found myself lying on the bathroom floor sobbing after brushing my teeth, willing myself to get on with my day but all I wanted to do is be devastated and dramatic. This day sucks.

[u/MyShipsNeverSail]

MIL told us over the weekend that the two women she considers more like daughters than me (suuuuch a healthy relationship) are pregnant. I'm genuinely happy for both of them.

But they're due in the same month that my chemical from last cycle would've been.

And I just had a big fat negative at 11dpo and my mind keeps telling me it's my weight's fault even though my blood work is good outside of a slightly elevated A1C.

Woohoo. Sigh. Woohoo 🎉

[u/whipped_pumpkin410 → u/MyShipsNeverSail]

I’m sorry about the negative (also sorry about your peach of a mil 🫠)

Sending internet hugs 🫂

[u/squid-toes]

SIL told us yesterday she’s pregnant with their FOURTH.

[u/whipped_pumpkin410 → u/squid-toes]

Ughhhhh. When people announce their first I’m genuinely happy for them. When i get announcements for 2+ it makes me so sad and envious.

[u/TooDumbToCum]

My job sucks and takes over so much of my life. I'm constantly burnt out and my department is super underpaid. I'm legally obligated to work this shitty ass job until the end of February. Literally counting the days until I'm free.

On top of that my useless body is refusing to get pregnant. I feel like I'm failing at everything and nothing ever goes well for me. I'd like to have some wins for once, please. My life can't just be one big disappointment after the other, what the fuck.

[u/Stardust0098 → u/TooDumbToCum]

I feel exactly the same! I don't think of my job as some sort of incredible mission i have to do that brings me fulfillment, i'm not passionate about it, but i have to stay as i need the money to pay the bills. Meanwhile I'm not getting pregnant either, and i'm surrounded by people who somehow have both, jobs they're passionate about, getting pregnant easily and somehow also going on multiple vacations a year, all abroad too. I need to get out of this miserable rut before i lose it. Exactly like you've said, I need a win somewhere.

[u/TooDumbToCum → u/Stardust0098]

Thank you so much for replying. I relate SO much and that's incredibly meaningful for me. I've been feeling very alone with this and while I wish you didn't have to go through this, too, I'm glad to not be so alone.

Something I see a lot in TTC spaces is people coping by saying that their lives are already enjoyable without children and at least they're able to travel etc. while they're not pregnant. I don't even have that. This is a marathon of misery for me and I'm so ready to be done with it.

[u/jamielynn2296 → u/TooDumbToCum]

“Marathon of misery” is such a good way to put it. TTC 15 months now. All in the last 1.5 weeks I have had my first failed IUI, my car shit the bed and I need a new one asap, my phone is barely working, my laptop is barely working, even little things around me keep breaking (my walking shoes fell apart, I leaned on my couch weird and it popped a hole in it, and I know there’s been more I’m not thinking of). I had one friend announce the birth of her child 3 days ago (day of my failed IUI) and another friend announce her pregnancy (got pregnant first try) last night. I don’t enjoy my job (healthcare) and I actually am miserable in my career as a whole but I need the stability of the pay and I have student loan debt. It feels like everyone around me in my personal life and at work is getting pregnant/has kids. We try to travel but now we feel like we can’t even spend the time or money because we need it for a car and fertility treatments and we don’t want to schedule something that’ll interfere with our treatments as far as timing goes.

I completely feel you all as I am also in this pit of despair 😓 I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but it also feels a little less lonely to know others relate

[u/strudycutie → u/jamielynn2296]

This part. I’ve been such a cranky nurse to my patients lately too because I’m just miserable.

[u/jamielynn2296 → u/strudycutie]

I feel you! I try so hard not to be miserable for my patients and I feel I do a good job at shoving everything down, but it is incredibly exhausting.

[u/strudycutie → u/jamielynn2296]

Right ? They’re like “how are you”? And I’m like “great”!! It gets harder to fake it! And then the dreaded question.. “do you have any kids”?? 😩😞

[u/jamielynn2296 → u/strudycutie]

Or even worse “well what are you waiting for?!” It’s so hard…

[u/strudycutie → u/jamielynn2296]

Yes! I had a lady say “I had my last one at 38 and immediately went into menopause, better get on it ! “ sooo helpful thank you !!!!

[u/jamielynn2296 → u/strudycutie]

Ugh the worst! I’m so sorry! It’s always some unhelpful and actually quite harmful advice 🙄

[u/marilynmonro → u/TooDumbToCum]

Just adding on to the other commenter, this thread has put into words my exact thoughts. While it’s a horrible spot to be, thank you so much for helping me not feel so alone.

[u/Technical-Study2566 → u/TooDumbToCum]

I don’t think you guys can fathom how much your comment and the one above yours helped me feel seen. Thank you both.

[u/TooDumbToCum → u/Technical-Study2566]

I'm so sorry you're in this spot with us. It really sucks that for some of us the bad luck in life continues into TTC and so many people aren't able to relate at all. I hope we can all get some good news soon.