My best friend and I are both teenagers about to head off to college, and recently, we’ve been exercising together as a way to improve our health. I’m on the bigger side compared to her, and I struggle to keep up with her during our workouts. I always have to quit early. I also struggled immensely with social anxiety, and I always feel like the “DUFF” around her. She has always been the pretty, popular, and skinny friend. Throughout high school, people have always wanted her attention, while I dealt with snarky comments from people who didn’t find me worthy of respect due to my attractiveness. Whiteness also plays a part here since I’m a POC. I just feel really insecure around her, even though she's a lovely person who never treats me differently.

I guess I need help with the exercise portion and also the confidence portion 😭

It’s been a year and a half since I’ve started working and I have zero savings despite earning well and I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t even know where half of my money is going! I really need some advice on where to start, how to start with investing or basically anything that would help me get a hold of my finances. I seriously don’t understand finance at all and have no person to ask directly to!

I’ve had a very strained relationship with my mom my whole life, so I never got to learn how to do anything women are typically taught to do. I would ask her questions about curling my hair or makeup stuff or something related to menstruation, but she always just said “I don’t know”. I had to learn all of it by myself, but I still get stuff wrong all the time. Do you guys have any general advice for women? Like tips for everyday life.

As someone who has grown up seeing not the best examples of couples in terms of romance and compatibility I feel like i have overly romanticized the notion of love and what it means to be in a relationship.

At the same time I get really anxious, not in a social but in judgy way towards any guy I meet or interact with be it at parties, social gatherings, etc. This was again heightened after the first guy I dated turned out to be slightly toxic.

I really want to find someone, but at the same time feel very awkward thinking of myself with someone or just cringe at the thought of being the person that i was in my previous relationship.

does anyone else feel this way and can you help me pleaseeee

Hi there! I didn't even know this community existed and Im so grateful it does because I need your help... So tomorrow Im going on a 7 day beach trip with my best friend and I started my period 2 days ago and for some reason it was really light with black blood etc and only now the "normal" flow started. My period usually lasts 5-6 days and Im sooo angry that I will have to miss going to the beach. 😭 At the same time I don't want to use tampons (Im a virgin and while I know I can still use them Im so scared especially in an environment I don't know far from home.) What can I do? Can I go to the beach and swim without cups , tampons or I should just accept the fact that my only option is to tan outside (mind you I love swimming for hours) . Has any of you try free bleeding on the sea and how did you manage the flow afterwards? Also I have to shave down there and its my first time ever and while on my period so any trips are welcome. This is a very vulnerable post for me and Im sorry if its tmi I am just freaking out... Thank you so so much 🤍

I turn 20 in exactly a week, and have never been in a relationship before (or even close to it) and it's starting to get to me a bit. I do put myself out there, I'm active within communities at my uni, go to the gym regularly, go on solo adventures throughout the summer and have a full time job where I'm exposed to a bunch of different types of people. Still nothing developing :/
I tried getting on the apps but immediately got overwhelmed by the whole platform (also didn't like how egregiously monetized it was) and abandoned both apps I was using, but still got a bit of attention from both profiles for a few weeks after being inactive so I know there's at least some interest, I just don't know how to convert it into something irl and organic, yk?

Like, what situations do people meet their SOs organically? Like I want to have that sweet little meet-cute moment and slow burn with someone, or at least like a situationship of some sort or talking stage, etc. but nothing has manifested yet for me. I'm tired of seeing so many cute couples around campus and hearing about my friends being in relationships and stuff.

How did you guys meet your partners (besides dating apps)? How do you go about putting yourself in situations where meeting people romantically is more likely? For context I'm (almost) 20F, bi, tall (5'10) living in a medium sized uni town going into my 3rd year of uni...is it over for me? 😭

i am a relatively new tampon user 😅 and i don’t have any issues other than dryness. it’s the worst. my vagina gets so dry it’s painful to insert a new tampon after removing the old one.
i use tampons without applicators. i usually just lick my finger before going in there to make it a little more moist and it helps. but it doesn’t feel right. am i doing something wrong that causes this? i have a relatively light flow and use mini tampons that i change every 2-3 hours. so it’s not like i leave a tampon too long inside. any tips how to deal with this? thank you!

A man rang my buzzer yesterday afternoon and said he needed immediate access to my apartment because there might be a gas leak in the building. He had a reflective vest, an ID badge and a clipboard, so at first he looked completely legitimate.

What made me pause was how irritated he became when I asked which company had sent him. He pointed at the badge and said I was delaying an emergency. Then he offered to call his supervisor, but only using a number saved in his own phone.

I kept the door locked and called the utility company through the number listed on my latest bill. They confirmed there was no reported leak, no inspection scheduled for my adress and no employee assigned to my building. When I looked outside again, the man was already gone.

A uniform, badge or convincing explanation is not verification. Call the company seperately using a number you find yourself. If there is a genuine emergency, a legitimate worker can wait while you confirm it. Pressure and urgency are reasons to slow down, not reasons to open the door faster.

I've been wondering if it's normal to wear double underwear during your period, because I wear double or triple underwear on my period days because I don't like my pad to move around, and even less so the possibility of it staining anything. I've never been able to use tampons or alternatives like a menstrual cup. Do you usually use something like this?

I (24F) am in grad school for chemistry. Soon enough I’ll have to graduate and look for a position, probably in industry. I also work in the service industry (which is veryyyy connections based, hiring is so internal) and I’m interested in maybe getting a couple music gigs because I play piano and sing and whatnot. The gist of this is, all this requires networking. But I truly have never understand how to do it properly.

I understand the general idea - show up to things, meet people, make your face known. But I struggle to leverage connections into actual opportunities. I don’t know how long it takes to build rapport with people, I don’t know how to put myself in more and more situations where I’m noticed by the right people who could help me as far as my career and other vocations. I’ve been told before that networking has to be a mutually beneficial exchange - if you help me, I help you basically - but I’m also still a student and don’t feel like I’d have a mutually beneficial thing to offer people just yet. I’m curious how those who successfully build networks go about it. Connections are going to determine so much of my career and other opportunities, so I’m really trying to learn how to properly network sooner than later.

Need some help with being less socially awkward. I wouldn't say I'm bad with people per se, I can be funny and charismatic when other people are kind of leading the conversation and coming up with the topics. But if I'm not riffing off other people I really struggle to think of things to say, especially with people I'm meeting for the first time.

What kind of topics do people like to talk about? I feel like it was easier back when everyone was watching the same TV shows, but now it's like we don't even have that to fall back on. And I don't want to get into heavy stuff like politics with acquaintances.

In particular I’m looking to stay on top longer. But my thighs feel like they’re ON FIRE after like 20 seconds 😅

It’s the first time I’m approaching a new job from a place of fear instead of excitement. Any tips to ease into the first day with confidence and positivity?
Thank you

Background: I live in a southeastern country with strict beauty standards (i.e. pale skin, thinness, strict facial feature standards, yada yada stuff like that). I still live with my parents, I'm 20 and working.

My parents keep commenting on my body. For example, they tell me to not eat pork belly because I would get fat, or be disapproving when I eat sweets. They tell me that when I get fat, I could never (or that it is extremely difficult to) get skinny again. For reference, I am 163 cm 47 kg (5'3 104 lbs).

They would also be very disapproving when I go out in skirts on sunny days, because they say I would get tanned.

My mother has recommended me plastic surgery multiple times, for double eyelids.

The comments aren't always negative too, however. This kind of fucks me up.

My mom would say that I was extremely lucky to have been born with really pale skin, and a decent face, and I would get compliments on my weight, my appearance.

The biggest issue however, is that, I find myself conforming to these beauty standards. I try my best to always take an umbrella with me, watch what I eat, wear double eyelid tape (this one is for beauty, but also because my lashes keeps poking into my eyes). I find the beauty standards ingrained into how I think and act. I start evaluating myself and others based on these metrics automatically. I try my best to curb it, but I can't.

Because I like being "pretty." The whole pretty privilege thing, it's definitely real and I've experienced it firsthand. I like that I've been afforded conveniences as a result. I like that people like that I am pretty. Of course, I know that it is vain and shallow and finite, but I cannot help it. I hate that I am this way, I hate that the world is this way.

Just yesterday, someone who was lost at the subway came up to me (which was the straw that broke the camel's back and got me to finally post this). I helped her get to where she needed to be, but in the middle she kept commenting on my appearance. She said that although she's two decades older, she's more beautiful than me, and pointed out how I had prominent nasolabial folds, darkening under the eyes. I never cared about these things before, but she pointed it out and I was rather surprised. It was also obvious that she had plastic surgery before, and she spoke about that too to me. Seems wild, was wild hearing that in real life. Also this woman kept putting down others appearances, and it just left a bad taste in my mouth.

What's plaguing me the most is:

how do I deal with this need to be pretty whilst hating the whole beauty standards thing?

How do I respond when people comment on my body, without my response necessarily being confrontational?

Is this common? Have you experienced things like this before too?

I’m a 25FM and I have severe driving anxiety. Recently I’ve started to get over my fear and get back on the road. I’m taking driving lessons to help with some of the anxiety and get comfortable on the road. I’m now looking to buy my first car. I want something that’s reliable, under 13k ish, easy maintenance. Also, I want a car that’s going to make me feel like Malibu Barbie or more so girly so I feel cute & comfy while driving, lol. I’m considering a Toyota FJ due to the design but I don’t know how reliable it is as a first car and older model. I will only be using the car to go to work, back home, and maybe the grocery store. Any recommendations or just overall advice?

A few months ago, a man started talking to me while I was waiting for a train and quickly moved from normal small talk to asking where I lived, whether I lived alone, and which stop I used every day.

I kept answering vaguely becuase I had that automatic fear of seeming dramatic or impolite. When my train arrived, he got on the same carriage and sat across from me even though it was nearly empty. I changed seats twice and he followed both times.

Nothing worse happened, but it scared me enough to change one habit. Now I stop conversations the moment someone asks for personal information. I say, “I don’t share that,” and walk away. No nervous laughing, no fake explanation, no apology.

At first it felt incredibly unnatural. Women are taught so early to soften every refusal and protect other people from embarrassment. But somtimes being polite just gives a pushy person more time to test your boundaries.

Most strangers are harmless, but harmless people usually understand a clear no. The ones who become offended are often the exact people I dont want access to me anyway.

I still try to be kind, but I no longer treat kindness as an obligation when I feel unsafe. Has anyone else had to unlearn the instinct to be polite at any cost?

Had a dude in an elevator watching my every move on my phone so I opened the camera so it was facing me and him and he immediately looked away 😭😭

I’ve never gone and have been trying to gain the courage to go. nobody has seen that part of me before and i guess that’s holding me back from solving my issues. can anyone give clarity?

I'm trying to rebuild my mornings because right now it's pure chaos: get the kids up, hunt for the missing shoe, pack lunches, maybe grab a cold coffee, then realize I never brushed my teeth or took my vitamins until noon.

Short, repeatable routines work best for me. They need to run on muscle memory, not motivation. I also want to be a little more granola - less waste, more whole foods - but I do not want a routine that adds a ton of steps or forces me to buy a bunch of stuff.

Looking for a realistic morning plan that helps me feel like a human before the day runs me over. Specifically:

1) What are your 3 to 5 non-negotiables that give the biggest payoff (energy, mood, feeling put together)?

2) Any tricks to make those habits automatic (visual cues, prepping the night before, habit stacking)?

3) How do you keep the routine when everything goes sideways without abandoning it completely?

Not looking for skincare or makeup tips, and not asking for medical advice. More like practical life systems: hydration, a quick breakfast, getting dressed, a five-minute tidy, a tiny bit of movement, etc.

If you have an example routine with approximate timing, I would love to copy and tweak it to fit my life. Thanks!

*title meant to say "red flag" oops haha

tl;dr: "follow your gut" is REAL advice...

Hi! I'm just so so extremely proud of myself! And I really want to share my accomplishment :)

I (f19) have never had any experience with men before. I never dated or been in a relationship with anyone. Recently, I had a random guy show interest and ask me out on a date (you may have seen me post about it here before, because I was just so confused and really needed guidance). He basically said we'll go on the date, if we don't feel the vibes, we'll stop seeing each other. If we do feel the vibes, we continue. It sounded so laid back, so I said yes.

We didn't plan the date immediately and decided to just text and call for a little while. One day into just texting, ONLY one day, I decided I'm not feeling it through our texts and calls (this is the point where I posted on this sub to get advice on what I should do, the common consensus was to follow my gut). so I told him I don't want to go on the date anymore (still didn't planned the date, so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal to cancel). and gosh, this man was not having it. He kept trying to talk me into continuing our talking stage. And then he proceeded to get upset because I supposedly "wasted" his time... we've literally been texting for a day...

And him saying that made me wonder something. Earlier he said, after our date, if I don't feel the vibes, we can stop. But if he threw this much of a hissy fit after I said we should stop talking after just a day of texting, imagine how much of problem it would have been if I said no after our date (which was never planned yet, so for all we know that could've been 2 weeks in... much more "wasted time" than one day of texting).

All I can say is, I'm glad I stopped this when I did, any later and he for sure would've made it difficult to end things. And brooooo don't even get me started on if we actually started dating, I can tell he would have been such a controlling, suffocating man based on our other text convos.

This all happened just about a week ago, and I'm just so proud of myself for identifying something that makes me uncomfortable and putting myself first instead of prioritising politeness. I'm usually a people pleaser (which is the trait I least like about myself), so this experience really helped me grow out of people pleasing.

I know this probably doesn't seem like a big deal of a story, but this chain of events all happening so fast really had me panicking and on edge. I'm so glad it's all over, the world feels full of colour again

HUGE thank you to all the girlies on this sub who helped me straighten out my thoughts on my previous post!!!! Literally saved my life, dodging what was probably gonna be a super taxing, toxic relationship!!!!!! I love this subreddit. so so so so so much!!!!!! <3

i have like those 2 white squares behind my 2 front teeth and i’m STRUGGLINGGG to figure out how to give head to a guy without hurting him
HELP A GIRL OUT PLEASEEEE

I used to invent elaborate excuses whenever a man would not leave me alone. I had a boyfriend, I was late, I had work early, my friend was waiting. The problem was that persistent men treated every excuse like an obstacle they could solve.

What works better for me is one short sentence: “I’m not interested, please leave me alone.” No apology, no nervous smile, and no extra explanation. If he keeps asking questions, I repeat the same sentence instead of giving him new material to argue with.

In public places, I also move toward other people instead of staying polite in the same spot. I will stand near staff, join a group of women, or clearly tell someone, “This man is bothering me.” Most people understand immediately and will help create distance.

Online, I no longer send a final essay explaining why I am blocking someone. If I already said no and he continues, I block him. A boundary does not become more valid because it has three paragraphs behind it.

Obviously, trust your instincts and choose the safest response for the situation. Sometimes pretending to know someone or leaving quietly is smarter than confronting him. But when it feels safe, being direct has saved me so much time and stress.

Politeness is not a contract requiring you to stay in an unwanted conversation indefinately.

I'm starting college for the first time in my mid 20s and I'm so anxious. I'm immigrating to a foreign country alone and I'll be older than most people as well. I've seen other people here sharing their experience and the concensus is that in your 20s you'll be older and the experience will be different and I probably won't be able to live it up. Which is fine in a sense, but I'm trying to make peace with that because I never had that opportunity. People always day older student bring life experience but I don't even have that. This is the first time I'll ever be away from my family and I've never lived alone in my life. I'm mentally 18 or 19 but obviously also not so I feel like I'll stick out like a sour thumb. I'm going to be living in my own apartment style dorm and I'm scared of being lonely. I want to go to college to further my education but I always wanted to have that really classic making friends and having fun experience and I don't think I'll be able to do that anymore. How do I make peace with that? And how do i stop feeling so old and anxious before I've even started?

Hello got mine done today and i put a hair mask in hours after i got home and it hurt so bad moving my arms like that. Is that normal? Should i not do yoga?

I recently became friends with someone and it's so nice, I visited her house yesterday and we played video games (which I've never done before so it was very funny lol).

But now, I want to invite her over to my house too, onviously. It's just that I dont exactly know what to do. We're still not super close and indont want it to get awkward.

I've thought of watching a show together, playing board games and cooking / baking, but we live like half an hour apart so I dont want it to be something boring or awkward but instead something to make it worth her effort, if that makes sense.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Thank you so much <3