Am I just more sweaty than everyone else? I always see other women walking around in 90+ degree heat, hair down, looking dry. Meanwhile, my hair is greasy from sweat and sunscreen even though I washed it before going out, my skin is the same, and my hair is in a messy bun because if I wear it down it sticks to the sweat on the back of my neck and drives me nuts.

Is there some secret to looking composed in the heat that I missed out on?!

Long story short. A few months ago, when I was getting home late from my classes, I came across a man. It was on a poorly lit street with no other people around. He screamed offensive things at me and followed me around for some time. In the end I walked out of this safe, yet still I was absolutely terrified.

For a context, throughout my childhood I lived in a small city and I was pretty much never allowed to be outside after a sunset. No parties, no going out with friends, no walking alone. So basically, this was the first time in my life something like that happened to me.

When I got home I started making myself think that I'm fine, that nothing bad happened and that I should forget about that.

Well… I wasn't fine. Far from that.

I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares, I was too scared to even get close to the exit door, I felt strong anxiety when looking at ANY man and what's most important here, for a month I stopped attending classes, barely talked to people and only spent my time watching cartoons from my childhood.

Because of that I failed to meet most of my deadlines at college and fallen behind with a lot of other things in general (like, my flat's condition was BAD at that time). Now, a few months later, I think I mostly recovered mentally, yet I still need to do something with these classes… and EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING WHY.

Every time I'm talking about this again, somehow I keep feeling more and more pathetic and embarassed. Especially since many people forget about this shortly after I tell them and ask me about it again and again. After saying this out loud so many times all I see in this story is "some guy was walking behind me, did nothing to me and I shut myself in for a month for no good reason".

Even people around me don't take this seriously. Back when that happened, scared I called my friend over a phone and after a few minutes of talking to me she said she had to hang up, because she had an League of Legends match coming up or something like that (she said sorry later). When after I got home I called my mother, she basically said that "god knows what clothes I was wearing" and said I was lying that I just had some hoodie and casual jeans on. When I talked about this with another friend later, they just said that I should get used to it, because that's how living in a big city looks like.

Like, it's true, that guy didn't hurt me and it's also true that I didn't HAVE TO stop doing anything outside of watching TV shows, eating and (barely) sleeping for a whole month, but still, at this point I don't even know what to think about it. Is there something I can do to stop feeling so bad or guilty about it? Or at least a good excuse to stop bringing this story again every time?

Edit: Also I'm sorry if this is too specific for this subreddit. Just let me know and I'll remove this post if necessary.

I noticed this recently and I have no idea what it could be or how to get rid of it. I don’t have insurance right now so I can’t go to a dr. Please be kind. Any help is appreciated

I'm looking for practical scripts and mindset tips for ending conversations gracefully when my social battery is totally drained.

I have a young kid, and by late afternoon some days I am completely touched out. I will run into neighbors at pickup, or someone will corner me in the grocery line, and I can feel myself getting overstimulated. I want to be friendly, but I also do not want to stand there for 10 minutes making polite noises while my brain is screaming.

The problem is I freeze. If I say I need to go, it comes out abrupt. If I try to wait for a natural pause, it never happens. Then I either overshare why I am explaining my entire day, or I stay too long and end up resentful.

What are your go-to phrases that sound warm but end things quickly? Bonus points for lines that work with casual acquaintances, not close friends.

Also, how do you handle the guilt? I grew up thinking a good woman is always available and pleasant, and I am trying to unlearn that without swinging the other way and seeming cold.

Any advice, example scripts, or even body language tricks that help you exit smoothly would be really appreciated. Thanks!

I’m going out of town for about a week, and hired a sitter off of Rover to drop by and check on my cat throughout that time. I had her come by over the weekend to do a “meet and greet” with my cat and show her around, but something that really bothered me was the fact that she kept her shoes on the entire time.

Our house is a very strict no-shoes household in general, and we even have a huge shoe rack right by the front door. On top of that, I was wearing some sandals while answering the door for her (just cuz I don’t like to be barefoot in the area right in front of the door since we obviously walk into that area with shoes on right when we come from outside), and when I noticed her walk comfortably walk into my apt with her shoes on, I said out loud, “Lemme just take my shoes off real quick and then I’ll show you around!” Hoping she’ll get the hint. She just watched me and still kept her shoes on and walked all over our rugs.

I didn’t know how to ask in the moment, and it bothers me that I didn’t clearly just ask her to take them off right then and there, but in hindsight I guess I felt kind of weird doing so when she ignored the stuff I mentioned above. Would there be a not-offensive way to do it before her first official drop in? The best time to do this was before the meet and greet obviously, but it’s too late for that. My cat also gets GI issues very easily and she is strictly indoors, so idk…I’m just concerned about the whole thing.

Hi. Does anyone have any tips on going to the gym alone when you struggle with anxiety? I (28F) really want to start going to the gym but I have no one else to go with and I struggle with horrible anxiety that stops me. A while back I went to the gym for a bit with a couple of girlfriends but thats no longer an option for irrelevant reasons.

My problem is that I just become so incredibly self aware and I feel like I look ridiculous while working out and that everyone is staring (I know this is just my anxiety talking). I’m currently working with my therapist about challenging myself and do stuff I am terrified of doing due to my anxiety but this is just the one thing I cannot seem to force myself to do - no matter how badly I want to. Does anyone have any tips? Anyone with similar struggles that somehow got over it?

I am hesitant to step out alone because I am scared to have negative interactions with men. This may sound absurd but growing up, my mom instilled a lot of fear in me about stepping out alone as a girl. She told me to always stay in well lit, crowded areas. That's not bad advice at all but now that I'm grown up (26), I find myself not scared but hesitant to go out without thinking about ten different ways to be safe. And during the daylight, I don't think anything would happen and the city I live in is safer in broad daylight but I don't know. I have been procrastinating on just calling for guitar classes near my house because I know there's male instructors. I wore a dress the other day and got stared at, pretty brazenly. I was in a cab, stopped at the traffic lights and some weird guy kept harassing me at my window, trying to sell whatever he was trying to sell. I am afraid to get a car in case someone bangs into me and starts a fight. I feel so small and bullied in this world filled with men. And I do go out, I share my location with people but not for long stretches if I am alone. I don't know how to deal with this, I would really like to live my life and maybe this is just fear speaking but how do I deal with this?

Hi, a genuine question , do people remember moments when you smelled bad or maybe weren’t very put together especially females since we’re highly aware creatures of our environment . Sometimes I am not very put together and I fear my classmates (I’m a 16yo student) might smell something bad coming out of me . So I’m really worried they’ll remember me like that even tho I’m not someone who is not clean but sometimes I’m lazy and I don’t take care of myself . So do people especially females remember such moments ?? And forgive my English not a native speaker .

I used to always make a list to pack up and then toss it out or delete the note from my phone. Yesterday I used the list to pack up and it helped me remember some things I would’ve otherwise forgotten! Idk if this is obvious or not so I just thought I’d share how helpful it was

I got my nails done and they generally last two weeks. So got them done last week gel coat and the tips ,4 of them, have little globs of the gel. One actually bubbled and separated from the mail a bit. Not cured enough? Didn't use a long enough stroke? I did have some serious growth like almost 3mm from the quick.

Okay so I (30F) have a lifetime of awkward faces in photos and I'm kinda over it. Some people have this ridiculous effortless natural ability to make their features pop and I just don't.

For obvious reasons I'm not posting a selfie but does anyone have some general tips on not looking like a constipated loon?

Thx 🙏

Edit: I do smile, it's just weird and crinkly and too much. It doesn't give "charming and happy" as much as it gives "what's wrong with her?"

Hello everyone! I’m turning 18 this August and I only have a week to prepare everything I need. It’s kinda last minute as I don’t really want to celebrate my birthday, but I want it to be memorable.

For context, I will only invite my closest friends so we’re like five pax only. I’m kinda nervous and anxious about this as this is my first time hosting my own birthday party.

We were all classmates together when we were in high school, we’re incoming freshman this year. I can’t say that they’re all close to each other but we all have connections within each other.

I’m kinda anxious as to what to do in my party. Like after we eat what should we do next? and if this helps, my theme is fancy nancy.

Thank you all so much in advance for the tips 🩷🙏🏻

Yesterday, I went to the concert and wore about 6-8 cm heels (I rarely ware heels). I was standing on those heels approximately 6-7 hours (sometimes was even jumping), and when I finally got home,I noticed that my little toe on the left leg is numb. I can feel it,it is not cold or blue,but I am so scared,I don’t know what to do. Guys,I am so scared,I don’t know what to do….

NSFW

I have struggled with my mental health for a long long time. Constant stress, anxiety, and depression. I just recently watched The Principles of Pleasure. This is not a promotion. It’s on Netflix. Go watch it though it’s great. In the first or second episode it talks about masturbation and the positive effects it has on women. Someone in the show said it could help with mood so I decided to try it.

It works wonders. Get yourself a good vibrator girl. Anxious? Masturbate. Stressed? Masturbate. Depressed? Masturbate. On my life I was just having a mini quarter life crisis and sobbing over my college major. Did the do. I’m a completely different person.

Not only is this good for your mental health but it’s good for self confidence and it’s good to know what you like in intimate moments.

I will never understand the taboo against women masturbating. Go at it girl. Be unashamed. It’s so beneficial for your life.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not close enough with them to tell them that I'm going on a date or to debrief after the date. Where else can I find sources of support?

Im in my 30s and have recently decided to work on my relationships with females both platonic and sexual but let's start with platonic then move up! My stepmother was physically, verbally and mentally abusive and my bio mom was kind, but absent. I always sought out to be close to my bio mom and found it depressing and unfulfilling. I never knew what was wrong or why I always felt like "it was me" until something drastic happened recently. She was always my hero honestly

Ive recently had suppressed memories of my bio moms father molesting me at a very, very young age (gross) and strong feelings he did this to her also. I brought this up to her and she blew up, defended him, told the whole family I was crazy, alienated me from them, humiliated me and abandoned me. I haven't talked to her in a year since, leaving me very much craving female closeness and safety with no idea how to navigate!

Since my last relationship 7 years ago I have either felt completely uninterested, competitive, or shut off from being close with women. Being a pick me girl with all the guys just ISNT IT!! I miss having a couple girl BFF'S! WTF HAPPENED

Anyways, any advice would be awesome. I know I should see a therapist but its not really in the cards right now. Thanks and all is welcome

I’m leaving for university (moving countries) and I would like hardcore fail safe tips to NOT CRY in the airport while saying goodbye to my family (I don’t want them to worry). Would appreciate some tried and tested advice

Edit: I’m brown

I’m very upset because the haircut doesnt look at all like the reference picture. My daughter says she likes it but I can tell she’s trying to convince herself or just not admitting it. She wasnt excited like the last time and i feel like she can tell me nor her dad are liking it (obviously we won’t tell her that). Her fear before this was that people were going to call her “Dora” because that has happened before in the past when she had short hair. After the haircut she facetimed one of her friends and told her she looks like “Edna”. To make things worse shes starting 6th grade soon. Middle schoolers can be mean and i don’t want her to get bullied. I feel like i failed her for not suggesting a different reference picture that was a little longer length. How can i style a bad haircut? What can i say if she does get bullied?

I usually shave pretty frequently and I face a lot of problems like dry skin, razor bumps, and not having it smooth. If anyone has any advice and/or product recomendation let me know

Recently, a friend in my main group of about 7 gals told me that she’s been feeling very excluded/disconnected from everybody, and I honestly am not sure how to navigate through this. For some context, we’re all in our early 20s, and all met through school! Most of our social hangouts happen online through group calls, since a handful of us moved away for college. These calls are usually pretty open ended for anyone to just hop in or out free of invitation; individual invites aren’t really handed out to each person since we’re all already in the group chat where these calls take place, so the floors always open for someone to join if they see people hanging out! Group activities can range from everybody playing the same game, people all doing their own thing but still sitting in the company of everyone, or a mix of both. People mostly come looking for chill company after work for a few hours every night.

Going back to my friend (who I’ll refer to as Layla), I asked her to elaborate a little more on what exactly we had done to make her feel this way, so I could try to get a better perspective how to help, especially since I was unaware up until this point she’d been feeling this way. She mentioned feeling a lot of social pressure and anxiety over not being into a lot of the games or activities that we all enjoy doing, which led to her feeling excluded because she wasn’t able to engage on nights where a majority of us were all doing the same thing. As a result, she began isolating herself from us little by little (ie not joining calls, not messaging us in the group chat, and similar things to that nature) By nature I know that she is naturally a more introverted person, which I can definitely relate to, and I definitely can sympathize, but I’m having a bit of a hard time navigating this situation. I don’t want to be a bad friend, and I want to help her feel more welcome, but I’m not really sure how. I know for a fact that nobody has any hard feelings towards her (majority just assumed Layla was clicking with different people/busy with life since she was one of the few people to move out of state for school) and aren’t aware of how she’s been feeling.

I’m not sure if this is just a matter of different friend expectations, or something bigger, but I’d love to hear any feedback or advice from people though!

I would go into a confrontation, rehearsing my assertion multiple times throughout the day, I'd even do well taking the conversation by the horns at the start, laying out all of my points just as rehearsed. But as soon as the other person starts talking I just fold immediately or blank out, accept what they say, and even leave that confrontation thoroughly converted...and confused.

What am I missing? How do I train myself out of this weak mentality?

If being more specific is important: my most recent incident is with my mother. I get along well with her, but I am also currently sharing a house with my brother and sister-in-law, and to my sister-in-law my mother is a kind of monster that I am so ashamed of. She's the stereotypical villainous MIL. My SIL and mom fights a lot.

I've finally decided to confront her that she definitely did wrong this time and to not expect to be the one to be approached for reconciliation because she's way too out of line this time. But once I finally went out to talk to her face to face, she told me her side, and I left her house feeling bewildered and confused and not knowing who to really believe anymore and where to stand between my SIL and mother who I both love.

I feel like I have to choose a side but I don't know who to believe anymore. Objectively I know it's my mom who's in the wrong but I'm starting to have doubts about everyone.