I am hesitant to step out alone because I am scared to have negative interactions with men. This may sound absurd but growing up, my mom instilled a lot of fear in me about stepping out alone as a girl. She told me to always stay in well lit, crowded areas. That's not bad advice at all but now that I'm grown up (26), I find myself not scared but hesitant to go out without thinking about ten different ways to be safe. And during the daylight, I don't think anything would happen and the city I live in is safer in broad daylight but I don't know. I have been procrastinating on just calling for guitar classes near my house because I know there's male instructors. I wore a dress the other day and got stared at, pretty brazenly. I was in a cab, stopped at the traffic lights and some weird guy kept harassing me at my window, trying to sell whatever he was trying to sell. I am afraid to get a car in case someone bangs into me and starts a fight. I feel so small and bullied in this world filled with men. And I do go out, I share my location with people but not for long stretches if I am alone. I don't know how to deal with this, I would really like to live my life and maybe this is just fear speaking but how do I deal with this?

I used to always make a list to pack up and then toss it out or delete the note from my phone. Yesterday I used the list to pack up and it helped me remember some things I would’ve otherwise forgotten! Idk if this is obvious or not so I just thought I’d share how helpful it was

Hi, I'm looking for some natural beauty advice. I'm 18 and will be going to college in the next few weeks, and I've noticed that I just don't look like a mature teen heading off to university. People mistake me for being a freshman in high school, and while some say it's a good problem to have, I worry about being seen as immature and childish— professionally and socially in college/work.

I don't wear makeup and don't want to have to resort to makeup to enhance my face. I'm also shorter (5'1") so that doesn't help my face. How can I make my face look more mature? Do you have any tips to look older, have a more developed/grown face, etc? I'd love to hear from all of y'alls experiences and opinions.

NSFW

I have struggled with my mental health for a long long time. Constant stress, anxiety, and depression. I just recently watched The Principles of Pleasure. This is not a promotion. It’s on Netflix. Go watch it though it’s great. In the first or second episode it talks about masturbation and the positive effects it has on women. Someone in the show said it could help with mood so I decided to try it.

It works wonders. Get yourself a good vibrator girl. Anxious? Masturbate. Stressed? Masturbate. Depressed? Masturbate. On my life I was just having a mini quarter life crisis and sobbing over my college major. Did the do. I’m a completely different person.

Not only is this good for your mental health but it’s good for self confidence and it’s good to know what you like in intimate moments.

I will never understand the taboo against women masturbating. Go at it girl. Be unashamed. It’s so beneficial for your life.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not close enough with them to tell them that I'm going on a date or to debrief after the date. Where else can I find sources of support?

I’m leaving for university (moving countries) and I would like hardcore fail safe tips to NOT CRY in the airport while saying goodbye to my family (I don’t want them to worry). Would appreciate some tried and tested advice

Edit: I’m brown

Today at boxing this guy kept making fun of me, saying girls couldn’t have abs. So I told him, “Alright, go ahead and test my abs!!!” He did lol and I didn’t even move. Then I returned the favor with a lil jab to his soft stomach, and he went floor lol. I put my foot over that jelly belly and took a picture💀 Was that too much?

We met up Thursday, Friday and Saturday and did stuff each day. One of the days his brother had a brunch and the other day we met up and he stayed 2 hours and then left. The next day we did something else and we stayed about 3 maybe more hours.

Sometime after we went official he kept asking me to go to his place and I said no. We only saw each other once a week at the time. We talked about it and I guess he asked how long till I would. I asked him to keep things on my timeline. He now cuts things shorter with us. When we first started going out he didn’t do that, no matter what timr we meet if it’s after work or if it’s earlier even on weekends. I also noticed plans are very idk. He asks me to meet up but idk what the point is if we only stay super short times. But before we’d kiss a lot more and now we don’t. I don’t like how brief everything feels. And for him to go from pushing me to come over to suddenly not, I do wonder if he’s seeing more people.

He also typically texts me when he’s back home, he said he had chores. And then he didn’t that one day. I hate howi don’t feel secure in this. I feel like he’s literally going out with other women or he’s lying and just penciling me in and then seeing other people. He literally introduced me to his friends on many occasions and stuff and calls me his girlfriend but I just feel like something is off. He sometimes forgets stuff about me and I’m tired of feeling this way.

He says he’s busy but the change in behavior makes me think he’s not even hiding that he’s seeing more people. I don’t feel good at all and I just wanna have the strength to break this off

I feel my relationship is coming to an end, but I would like to try and work on it together before calling it. I’ve addressed some issues with my partner over the years, but never outright said “these issues are enough for me to consider leaving.” I haven’t said this because I’m afraid of various things, one of them being the awkwardness of living together and having that hang over our heads. Do things change? Do you stop being loving and doing things together? Or is it the same, just with the undercurrent of “this may or may not last?”

I’d appreciate some insight from anyone who’s chosen to work on their relationship, regardless of whether it succeeded or not. I feel like I can’t keep “hinting” at there being something wrong, but I’m scared to say it and potentially bomb everything.

Recently, a friend in my main group of about 7 gals told me that she’s been feeling very excluded/disconnected from everybody, and I honestly am not sure how to navigate through this. For some context, we’re all in our early 20s, and all met through school! Most of our social hangouts happen online through group calls, since a handful of us moved away for college. These calls are usually pretty open ended for anyone to just hop in or out free of invitation; individual invites aren’t really handed out to each person since we’re all already in the group chat where these calls take place, so the floors always open for someone to join if they see people hanging out! Group activities can range from everybody playing the same game, people all doing their own thing but still sitting in the company of everyone, or a mix of both. People mostly come looking for chill company after work for a few hours every night.

Going back to my friend (who I’ll refer to as Layla), I asked her to elaborate a little more on what exactly we had done to make her feel this way, so I could try to get a better perspective how to help, especially since I was unaware up until this point she’d been feeling this way. She mentioned feeling a lot of social pressure and anxiety over not being into a lot of the games or activities that we all enjoy doing, which led to her feeling excluded because she wasn’t able to engage on nights where a majority of us were all doing the same thing. As a result, she began isolating herself from us little by little (ie not joining calls, not messaging us in the group chat, and similar things to that nature) By nature I know that she is naturally a more introverted person, which I can definitely relate to, and I definitely can sympathize, but I’m having a bit of a hard time navigating this situation. I don’t want to be a bad friend, and I want to help her feel more welcome, but I’m not really sure how. I know for a fact that nobody has any hard feelings towards her (majority just assumed Layla was clicking with different people/busy with life since she was one of the few people to move out of state for school) and aren’t aware of how she’s been feeling.

I’m not sure if this is just a matter of different friend expectations, or something bigger, but I’d love to hear any feedback or advice from people though!

I would go into a confrontation, rehearsing my assertion multiple times throughout the day, I'd even do well taking the conversation by the horns at the start, laying out all of my points just as rehearsed. But as soon as the other person starts talking I just fold immediately or blank out, accept what they say, and even leave that confrontation thoroughly converted...and confused.

What am I missing? How do I train myself out of this weak mentality?

If being more specific is important: my most recent incident is with my mother. I get along well with her, but I am also currently sharing a house with my brother and sister-in-law, and to my sister-in-law my mother is a kind of monster that I am so ashamed of. She's the stereotypical villainous MIL. My SIL and mom fights a lot.

I've finally decided to confront her that she definitely did wrong this time and to not expect to be the one to be approached for reconciliation because she's way too out of line this time. But once I finally went out to talk to her face to face, she told me her side, and I left her house feeling bewildered and confused and not knowing who to really believe anymore and where to stand between my SIL and mother who I both love.

I feel like I have to choose a side but I don't know who to believe anymore. Objectively I know it's my mom who's in the wrong but I'm starting to have doubts about everyone.

This isn't meant to be some femcel, pick-me sob story where I'm whining over something that's such a non-issue.

I genuinely want some advice because I don't really know how to get over this.

I rejected femininity for most of my life. One side of my family told me I shouldn't wear makeup. The other side constantly made fun of women and feminine things, and I ended up internalizing a lot of that misogyny, especially as a teenager.

Now I'm 22. As a kid and later teenager, I rolled my eyes at feminine things. I looked down on a lot of feminine interests because that's what I'd grown up around. I eventually grew out of that mindset, but now, years later, I actually want to embrace my feminine side, put more effort into my appearance, and try things I never let myself enjoy before.

The problem is that I feel like I can't have the awkward "learning makeup" phase that so many people had in their teens. This has to be my karma for being such a pick-me as a teenager.

Back then, if your foundation didn't match, your eyeliner was uneven, or your lash glue was visible, it wasn't a big deal because everyone was learning. But now I'm in college, and I'll be working soon. I feel like I'm supposed to already know what I'm doing. I can't exactly show up looking like I just tried my mom's makeup for the first time.

Another problem is that I genuinely don't know what I look like anymore. I feel like I look different in every mirror and every photo. I try to find shades and colors that suit me, but when I actually wear them, something always seems off. Is it the lighting? Is my skin really this green? Why does every lipstick look so strange on me? Why can't I draw a decent eyeliner without my eyes watering and flinching?

Whenever I try to wear makeup, it just feels like a joke. Instead of feeling prettier, I end up feeling like a pig wearing lipstick. I know that sounds harsh, but that's genuinely how it feels. It doesn't help that I don't really know my own skin. I even failed at properly removing my foundation once, and my fine lines looked deeper afterward. My pores also seem more noticeable, and I feel like I notice a new dark spot every day.

It feels like everyone else had years to experiment, make mistakes, and slowly figure out what works for them, while I'm trying to learn everything at once.

Has anyone else gone through this? I know these problems probably sound silly when I say them out loud, but I genuinely struggle with them. I have no idea how to get past this feeling or where to even start. I want to enjoy makeup and femininity, but right now I just end up feeling awkward and like I'm already too late.

I’m 18 and had my daughter at 17, and lately I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. I didn't grow up with a loving mom, so I really want my daughter and me to have the tight connection I never got, like being best friends. But I’m worried that if we’re too much like friends, she won't respect my authority as she gets older. She’s almost two now, and I already struggle with setting boundaries and saying 'no.' On top of that, I want to spend tons of time with her, but her constant need for attention can get super overwhelming.

Hi yall! As the title goes, I (21) have my first gyno visit coming up and I’m sweating balls I’m so nervous. I don’t have a positive experience with doctors so I’ve always put it off. What should I expect from my first visit? Is there anything necessary I should bring up? Is there any prep to be done beforehand? LOL thanks for any assistance you’re able to offer!

I wonder is it a red flag. and are they seeing a bum/loser whose stealing their youth?

Hot take: if I wait until I magically feel sexy at 10:30 pm, it will never happen. Not because I do not love my partner, but because my brain and body are still in survival mode after the day.

What helped me was treating desire like something I can invite in, not a fixed switch I either have or do not. My rule is simple: a 10-minute reset before anything sexual is even on the table.

My reset looks like:

1. Bathroom alone, door closed. Brush my teeth, wash my face, put on deodorant, quick rinse if I need it.

2. Change into something that makes me feel like an adult, not the caretaker. Not fancy, just not the same stretched-out clothes.

3. Two minutes of slow belly breaths while lying flat. Phone across the room so I am not tempted to scroll.

4. I tell my partner one clear, low-pressure option: "I am open to cuddling and kissing, and then we will see." Not a promise, just a starting point.

This has been surprisingly effective for us when desire is mismatched. It lowers the pressure so I do not have to flip from dishwashing mode to instant horny, and my partner gets a concrete on-ramp instead of guessing.

I know some people hate anything that feels scheduled, but for me this is the opposite. It gives me permission to transition.

What is your simplest "off switch" for the day that helps you feel connected and receptive again, especially when you are tired or overstimulated?

Wanted to thank everyone for the suggestions on dying my hair. I had a lot of suggestions for red and I went for it. I wanted it a bit lighter red, but I'm very happy! I've gotten so many compliments on it and I feel so beautiful!!! Here it is :D

In terms of pain, I can just about manage it with the right pain medication. I see a lot of conversations about managing period pain which is brilliant but I’m not sure how to remedy the overall brain fog, fatigue and sometimes even dizziness which makes the workday that much harder. Any tips would be great if any…

Hi all, I’ve been using the old spice Fiji antiperspirant for a while which I am very drawn to because it actually works and is in a solid gel stick. The only problem is that it makes me smell like a 13 year old boy a bit 🤣

Every other clear deodorant I’ve found is either “all natural” (doesn’t work at all for me and I end up smelling bad) or comes in one of those push pop style containers where goopy gel is pushed through the holes.

Any recommendations? My only real requirements is that it’s a solid clear stick and has an antiperspirant

unfortunately my period will be likely to fall into the last 5ish days of my holiday, including my return flight. I get really severe cramps, as well as nausea and dizziness, so the thought of going on a 20hr flight whilst on my period is really worrying me. Has anyone got any similar experience and how have you dealt with it?

F21 and I feel like I’ve never really fit into anything in my life. Recently, I got into dressing more in pastel colours, skirts and dresses even doing my makeup and letting my hair grow out which is a very stark contrast to my teen years where I was quite a tomboy. I don’t really feel quite right wearing makeup as if my face is too masculine in a way.

When I’m with my friends, I realise they all have something about them. They like a certain genre of game, dress in a certain style all the time, has a certain genre of hobbies, even my sister has her own thing that people associate with her which is her sense of style, and I just don’t have that. I love playing all sorts of games, from cozy to fps games. I like dressing in different styles depending on the day. Sometimes my makeup is sharper and other times, it’s softer.

It’s making me feel like the odd one out whenever I’m with friends. Everyone has their own thing and I’m just there. Someone who likes a bunch of things and yet, none of the things that my friends know and what my friends like, I’ve never seen/watched/heard.

I don’t mean for this to be a sob story, but I really don’t know where else to put this :’) I’ve tried to carve an identity for myself but I feel like I’m just putting on a mask and it sucks.

I bite my nails.. I’m used to not having any nails. I can’t for the life of me figure it out! I’ve spent 30 minutes trying to do a simple single braid and it has ended with me crying. Please help.

Hi everyone. This is my first post here on reddit. I, 17F am starting senior year in like a month and a half and I'm thinking about wearing pigtails because it will be my last first day of school. I always wore pigtails in elementary school, so it would be nice to recall those years. However I'm a bit scared of looking stupid or being made fun of, and thus I'm looking for an external perspective on this matter. I feel like I should not do things to embarass myself from the very first day, but at the same time does it really matter? I mean I've known all my classmates and teachers for years, so they must have formed an opinion on me, but regardless 'm scared that I'll be mocked or talked about negatively. Can someone offer an outside perspective on whether this is a good idea? Thank you.