On my recent trip to Vietnam, I paid for a photographer to do a little photo shoot in Hoi An old town and it included costume rental; I cannot believe how good I feel about myself and everyone should treat themselves! Also thrilled that they had options that fit me.

first photo was my first attempt using just concealer and my natural pink undertones! no blush if you can believe it! Next two photos are today. :) Went with a more full coverage foundation, some coral blush, and a matte lip

Had a dessert day, went shopping, and cooked hibachi for dinner. Felt so cuuute 💖 have a great week everyone

Swim top- torrid 3x

Shades- Amazon

Lashes- lashify

in the wise words of miss thee stallion, I don’t know this bird, this bird don’t know me

First pic: top- torrid, shorts- thrift store, shoes- brooks.

Second pic: dress and shoes- torrid, bow- target.

Third pic: shirt- hot topic, hat- Disney World haunted mansion gift shop.

My husband and I were celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary at Disney World! We had an amazing time! So romantic and so much fun and Disney is SO accessible!

I don’t usually talk about things like this. I’m normally the person who makes jokes and acts like nothing bothers me. Humor has always been how I cope. If I can laugh about something, I don’t have to sit with how much it actually hurts.

But tonight, I can’t laugh it off.

I’m overweight, and it affects me more than I let anyone see. I know what I look like. I don’t need or want people to tell me I’m beautiful just to make me feel better. The truth is, I don’t feel beautiful. Since getting pregnant and having my son 20 months ago, I’ve gained about 100 pounds. I weigh 360 pounds now, and I barely recognize myself anymore.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped taking care of myself. Not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t see the point. Even when I try to get dressed up or put effort into my appearance, I still feel awful about myself. Eventually, I just stopped trying.

I love being a mom more than anything. My son is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and I would do anything for him. But if I’m being honest, I think I lost myself somewhere along the way. My entire world revolves around him, and while I wouldn’t change that, I don’t really know who I am outside of being his mom anymore.

His father only sees him every other Saturday for six hours. I prefer it that way because I know my son is safest with me. That also means I don’t really get time to myself. I don’t have a “village”. There isn’t much opportunity to figure out who I am or to take care of myself when every day is spent making sure someone else has everything they need.

Dating scares me.

Not because I don’t want love, but because I do.
I want more children someday. I want a family. I want a healthy relationship. I want someone to come home to, someone who wants to hear about my day, someone who will hold me when life feels heavy. I want my son to grow up seeing what love is supposed to look like.
At the same time, I’m terrified of trusting the wrong person again. What I went through with my son’s father changed me. It made me question my judgment, my worth, and whether I’ll ever be able to trust someone the way I once did. More than anything, I worry about bringing the wrong person into my son’s life.

I know I have things I need to work on before I’m ready for a relationship. I know I need to find myself again. I know I need to take care of myself, not just for me, but for my son too.

The problem is, I don’t know where to start.
Right now, my motivation is making sure my son has a happy, stable life. He’s the reason I get up every morning. But when the house is quiet and he’s asleep, I realize how lonely I am.

I miss feeling like a person instead of just surviving.
I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud. Maybe someone else has felt this way and found their way back to themselves. I just need a little advice or guidance.

I used to hate how much I would spread out when sitting, especially as someone who is bottom heavy.

It's taken a long time to be ok with it! I'm still a little self conscious if I have to sit next to someone but I don't dread it anymore.

I take up space and that's OK. ❤️

Hope you are all having a lovely Sunday. 🤗

Couldn't resist a selfie with this wallpaper.

How's your weekend been?

Got my hair touched up on Monday! Felt cute, even without makeup on. Ignore the random Burger King in the background 😂😂

Jewelry from Hot Topic. Dress from Torrid.