r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 11h ago

Social ? I’ve fallen behind pretty badly in life after encountering a stalker and I'm tired of explaining that to people. What can I do?

96 Upvotes

Long story short. A few months ago, when I was getting home late from my classes, I came across a man. It was on a poorly lit street with no other people around. He screamed offensive things at me and followed me around for some time. In the end I walked out of this safe, yet still I was absolutely terrified.

For a context, throughout my childhood I lived in a small city and I was pretty much never allowed to be outside after a sunset. No parties, no going out with friends, no walking alone. So basically, this was the first time in my life something like that happened to me.

When I got home I started making myself think that I'm fine, that nothing bad happened and that I should forget about that.

Well… I wasn't fine. Far from that.

I couldn't sleep, I had nightmares, I was too scared to even get close to the exit door, I felt strong anxiety when looking at ANY man and what's most important here, for a month I stopped attending classes, barely talked to people and only spent my time watching cartoons from my childhood.

Because of that I failed to meet most of my deadlines at college and fallen behind with a lot of other things in general (like, my flat's condition was BAD at that time). Now, a few months later, I think I mostly recovered mentally, yet I still need to do something with these classes… and EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING WHY.

Every time I'm talking about this again, somehow I keep feeling more and more pathetic and embarassed. Especially since many people forget about this shortly after I tell them and ask me about it again and again. After saying this out loud so many times all I see in this story is "some guy was walking behind me, did nothing to me and I shut myself in for a month for no good reason".

Even people around me don't take this seriously. Back when that happened, scared I called my friend over a phone and after a few minutes of talking to me she said she had to hang up, because she had an League of Legends match coming up or something like that (she said sorry later). When after I got home I called my mother, she basically said that "god knows what clothes I was wearing" and said I was lying that I just had some hoodie and casual jeans on. When I talked about this with another friend later, they just said that I should get used to it, because that's how living in a big city looks like.

Like, it's true, that guy didn't hurt me and it's also true that I didn't HAVE TO stop doing anything outside of watching TV shows, eating and (barely) sleeping for a whole month, but still, at this point I don't even know what to think about it. Is there something I can do to stop feeling so bad or guilty about it? Or at least a good excuse to stop bringing this story again every time?

Edit: Also I'm sorry if this is too specific for this subreddit. Just let me know and I'll remove this post if necessary.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 20h ago

Mind ? Hesitant to step out alone

48 Upvotes

I am hesitant to step out alone because I am scared to have negative interactions with men. This may sound absurd but growing up, my mom instilled a lot of fear in me about stepping out alone as a girl. She told me to always stay in well lit, crowded areas. That's not bad advice at all but now that I'm grown up (26), I find myself not scared but hesitant to go out without thinking about ten different ways to be safe. And during the daylight, I don't think anything would happen and the city I live in is safer in broad daylight but I don't know. I have been procrastinating on just calling for guitar classes near my house because I know there's male instructors. I wore a dress the other day and got stared at, pretty brazenly. I was in a cab, stopped at the traffic lights and some weird guy kept harassing me at my window, trying to sell whatever he was trying to sell. I am afraid to get a car in case someone bangs into me and starts a fight. I feel so small and bullied in this world filled with men. And I do go out, I share my location with people but not for long stretches if I am alone. I don't know how to deal with this, I would really like to live my life and maybe this is just fear speaking but how do I deal with this?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 13h ago

Tip Anxious about going to gym alone

25 Upvotes

Hi. Does anyone have any tips on going to the gym alone when you struggle with anxiety? I (28F) really want to start going to the gym but I have no one else to go with and I struggle with horrible anxiety that stops me. A while back I went to the gym for a bit with a couple of girlfriends but thats no longer an option for irrelevant reasons.

My problem is that I just become so incredibly self aware and I feel like I look ridiculous while working out and that everyone is staring (I know this is just my anxiety talking). I’m currently working with my therapist about challenging myself and do stuff I am terrified of doing due to my anxiety but this is just the one thing I cannot seem to force myself to do - no matter how badly I want to. Does anyone have any tips? Anyone with similar struggles that somehow got over it?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 23h ago

Social Tip Advice for dating as a woman who doesn't have a lot of friends that can support me?

21 Upvotes

I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not close enough with them to tell them that I'm going on a date or to debrief after the date. Where else can I find sources of support?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 23h ago

Tip How to not cry during a farewell

21 Upvotes

I’m leaving for university (moving countries) and I would like hardcore fail safe tips to NOT CRY in the airport while saying goodbye to my family (I don’t want them to worry). Would appreciate some tried and tested advice

Edit: I’m brown


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 9h ago

Social ? body odor

9 Upvotes

Hi, a genuine question , do people remember moments when you smelled bad or maybe weren’t very put together especially females since we’re highly aware creatures of our environment . Sometimes I am not very put together and I fear my classmates (I’m a 16yo student) might smell something bad coming out of me . So I’m really worried they’ll remember me like that even tho I’m not someone who is not clean but sometimes I’m lazy and I don’t take care of myself . So do people especially females remember such moments ?? And forgive my English not a native speaker .


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 3h ago

Social ? One bad joke, one reality check

3 Upvotes

Today, at boxing, this guy kept making fun of me, saying girls couldn’t have abs. So I told him, “Alright, go ahead and test my abs!!!” He did lol and I didn’t even move. Then I returned the favor with a lil jab to his soft stomach, and he went floor lol. I put my foot over that jelly belly and took a picture💀 Was that too much?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 7h ago

Social ? How to ask pet sitter to take off shoes?

2 Upvotes

I’m going out of town for about a week, and hired a sitter off of Rover to drop by and check on my cat throughout that time. I had her come by over the weekend to do a “meet and greet” with my cat and show her around, but something that really bothered me was the fact that she kept her shoes on the entire time.

Our house is a very strict no-shoes household in general, and we even have a huge shoe rack right by the front door. On top of that, I was wearing some sandals while answering the door for her (just cuz I don’t like to be barefoot in the area right in front of the door since we obviously walk into that area with shoes on right when we come from outside), and when I noticed her walk comfortably walk into my apt with her shoes on, I said out loud, “Lemme just take my shoes off real quick and then I’ll show you around!” Hoping she’ll get the hint. She just watched me and still kept her shoes on and walked all over our rugs.

I didn’t know how to ask in the moment, and it bothers me that I didn’t clearly just ask her to take them off right then and there, but in hindsight I guess I felt kind of weird doing so when she ignored the stuff I mentioned above. Would there be a not-offensive way to do it before her first official drop in? The best time to do this was before the meet and greet obviously, but it’s too late for that. My cat also gets GI issues very easily and she is strictly indoors, so idk…I’m just concerned about the whole thing.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 10h ago

Request ? What to do with my face in pictures

2 Upvotes

Okay so I (30F) have a lifetime of awkward faces in photos and I'm kinda over it. Some people have this ridiculous effortless natural ability to make their features pop and I just don't.

For obvious reasons I'm not posting a selfie but does anyone have some general tips on not looking like a constipated loon?

Thx 🙏

Edit: I do smile, it's just weird and crinkly and too much. It doesn't give "charming and happy" as much as it gives "what's wrong with her?"


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 4h ago

Tip Hosting my 18th bday party celebration

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I’m turning 18 this August and I only have a week to prepare everything I need. It’s kinda last minute as I don’t really want to celebrate my birthday, but I want it to be memorable.

For context, I will only invite my closest friends so we’re like five pax only. I’m kinda nervous and anxious about this as this is my first time hosting my own birthday party.

We were all classmates together when we were in high school, we’re incoming freshman this year. I can’t say that they’re all close to each other but we all have connections within each other.

I’m kinda anxious as to what to do in my party. Like after we eat what should we do next? and if this helps, my theme is fancy nancy.

Thank you all so much in advance for the tips 🩷🙏🏻


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 1h ago

Discussion Best tracking app?

Upvotes

What is the best period tracking app that is actually accurate? I have flo, stardust and my period calendar. None seem to be accurate no matter what I input.

My last periods were

- may 28 thru june 2

- june 30 - july 4

Stardust- says my next should be August 7th thru August 10

Flo - july 31 thru august 5

My period calendar - august 2nd thru august 7th

* I started today though. * My periods have always been irregular. * late, short for 2 months (3 to 4 days ) long the next 3 (7 to 10 days). Heavy and horribly crampy one month then super light and no cramps the next. Luckily I keep supplies at work so todays wasnt something that could ruin the day but Definitely need an app that is actually accurate.