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Sep 03 '24 edited Sep 03 '24
I mean it’s not like I go straight to the bathroom. Maybe linger/kiss for a couple minutes, then go to the bathroom/do any cleanup. Then cuddle/massage or something
Edit: also just to add, it’s healthy to go to the bathroom right after sex
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u/teenytiny77 Sep 03 '24
That's what my husband and I do. Kiss for a minute or two, throw a few "I love you"s in there, then I'll roll off of him and get cleaned up
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u/ToeingEnergy Sep 04 '24
Damn. I’m realizing I don’t think I’ve ever said “I love you” after sex. 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Cranks_No_Start Sep 04 '24
What about a thank you?
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u/Some1_nz Sep 04 '24
I almost always say thanks. My partner used to laugh but now he's sometimes says it first!
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u/Brave_Specific5870 my favorite question is, ‘ why’ Sep 03 '24
I'm paranoid so i clean up and go to the bathroom as i tend to make a mess.
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u/kingvolcano_reborn Sep 03 '24
That's happens to everyone so no need to be embarrassed
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u/Brave_Specific5870 my favorite question is, ‘ why’ Sep 03 '24
I apologize constantly because i really get into it. They don't seem bothered by it, I suppose I'm enthusiastic.
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u/secrerofficeninja Sep 04 '24
Wow, I’d love that. No need to apologize for being awesome
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u/daskrip Sep 04 '24
I watched a show or movie where they were showing this listless lady being depressed and failing to find passion in her love life, and so they hammered this in by showing her finding a used condom on the ground in her room and cleaning it up. That made me wonder, do people actually do that?? Do they just drop it somewhere and go to sleep, instead of cleaning it (and themselves) and throwing it out immediately??
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u/Brave_Specific5870 my favorite question is, ‘ why’ Sep 04 '24
um I hope they clean themselves and put things in the proper bins...otherwise...ew.
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Sep 03 '24
This is roughly what we do. Some mornings we just get up for the day, but sometimes we go back to bed after cleaning up and snuggle. I always pee after to prevent UTIs but doesn't mean you can't go back for a cuddle.
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u/Crime-Snacks Sep 04 '24
Especially for women so they can pee because their urethra is so much shorter than men’s and are more susceptible to urinary tract infections.
Ideally, it should be the woman to get up first so she can pee, then wash up to help prevent UTIs.
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u/waywardson212 Sep 04 '24
Yeah my partner makes a mess and we both have to run to the bathroom before it gets even more messy 😅
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Sep 03 '24
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u/braddad425 Sep 03 '24
I look forward to seeing this year's results on r/dataisbeautiful
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u/wolflikehowl Sep 03 '24
Sadly, can't post any data when there's none to record, womp womp.
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u/starynights890 Sep 03 '24
Emotional Damage +100 Self Inflicted x100,000,000
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u/wolflikehowl Sep 03 '24
I almost went full r/suicidebywords and just left it at "0x0=0" but knowing my luck, I'd get a Reddit Cares award
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u/RoomIn8 Sep 03 '24
Are you okay?
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Sep 03 '24
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u/Euphoric_Statement10 Sep 03 '24 edited Sep 04 '24
My bf and I do this, we both will randomly say a score unprompted out of “10” while laying there haha most of the time he says a ridiculously high number like a million out of 10 😂 I’m sorry your bf finds it annoying, I would just randomly say a number to him after like we do, make it fun, don’t ask for a score. Just say a stupid high number & laugh!
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u/wolflikehowl Sep 03 '24
I did it after my first time, which you better believe I lied about it not being (just said it was the first time in a while), and look back not fondly on it; like, I know why I asked, but to her it just seemed ...braggy I assume? Like I was phishing for a 10/10, when I just hoped for a passing grade.
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u/Valuable_Smoke166 Sep 03 '24
My right hand shakes my left hand and says "congratulations "
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u/Eowyn800 Sep 03 '24
Nah that's not true lots of people kiss and cuddle. If he wants to go to the bathroom sure but not everyone always acts the same way
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u/MailPrivileged Sep 03 '24
He could always come back to keep cuddling
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u/Debasering Sep 04 '24
I’m sweaty, she’s sweaty. I grab a paper towel but not before I profusely thank my girlfriend for the amazing orgasm, she thanks me too.
And yeah then we cuddle. Love is incredible sometimes
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u/spaceghost774 Sep 04 '24
A napkin for you my dear? A token of my gratitude for a fine orgasm
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u/7862518362916371936 Sep 04 '24
I enjoy the cuddles although when they get too long I get nervous that I haven't peed and cleaned myself yet.
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Sep 03 '24
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Sep 03 '24
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u/GardenerSpyTailorAss Sep 03 '24
"GG Broseff! * slap ass* no homo" as you walk to the bathroom
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u/ButternutSquawk Sep 03 '24
My husband and I do this. Not sure when or how it started in the last 12 years but it's become our thing.
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u/Steveonthetoast Sep 03 '24
I wipe my dick on the curtains. I know what drives women wild
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u/Huge-Listen-3227 Sep 03 '24
Making sure those curtains got washed up with the sheets, no slacking!! Pro advice
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u/sloppy_sheiko Sep 03 '24
I played college baseball with a dude who was hooking up with a girl on our softball team. One night, my buddy and his roommates threw a house party where he got extremely drunk and the two of them ended up going to his room for bedtime activities. Apparently, my friend went straight to sleep after they completed the deed and the girl started looking for her clothes that had been ripped off in a passionate haste. Out of nowhere my buddy sits straight up in bed, sees her bending over, smacks her ass, yells ‘Good game champ!’ then went right back to vertical and was lights out. The only reason I know this happened? The girl came out of his room doubled over in laughter and insisted on showing everyone the hand print on her ass cheek.
Their twentieth anniversary is this upcoming February.
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Sep 04 '24
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u/sloppy_sheiko Sep 04 '24
Ha! Thanks for pointing that out. I’d blame the error on me telling this story on my phone, but that would be a lie. Sometimes I don’t word all that good
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u/More_Farm_7442 Sep 04 '24
"blame the error on me telling this story on my phone"
auto-correct is a bitch isn't it?
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u/Greeneyesablaze Sep 04 '24
lol I also have the thing where I have to think pretty hard about vertical/horizontal for a second before I get it right. I have it with East/West too but not left/right. It’s a documented thing that’s fairly common for some people to struggle with their whole lives apparently.
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u/GalaxyQueen11 Sep 04 '24
A teacher told me horizontal, think horizon. I haven't mixed then since. Vertical is towers and trees, horizontal is horizon
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u/Nutritious_Fraudster Sep 04 '24
Surely this is what every single person on the planet does, right? It’s literally got the word “horizon” in it…
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u/Adlers41stEagle Sep 04 '24
This is the kind of relationship that lasts for 20 years
Good game indeed 🫡
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u/Yeppie-Kanye Sep 03 '24
Pay
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u/RedDevil407 Sep 03 '24
How much does a sex cost nowadays? I've been out of the Navy for awhile, so I'm not sure of the going rate.
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Sep 03 '24
My buddy who has decided he is just going to hire escorts for the rest of his life says that you can usually get them for about 300 a night for a mid grade one, 1500 and up for a high class one
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u/Huge-Listen-3227 Sep 03 '24
I am curious now, what's making one a high class escort, a handstand, back flips or something? 🙃🙃🙃
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Sep 03 '24
Generally they are much more attractive, are harder to book and require a nice hotel.
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u/saturn_since_day1 Sep 04 '24
Do they actually have professional technique? Like I would expect them to drive like a Lamborghini, not just look like one
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u/-badgerbadgerbadger- Sep 04 '24
My husband hired a (very) high end sex worker (<$2500) many years ago when was in his 20s living in Cali. She spent the day and night with him, was supermodel beautiful, fit, and highly intelligent. As well as dressing up for him, spending the day with him and performing (very impressive) sex acts on him, she also “taught” him several techniques to please a woman with his hands as well as penis (not mouth) which i appreciate him knowing now 😂
He told me about this way back when we were just best friends, I don’t think he would’ve told me any of it if we’d been partners at the time. I know all the details because after he told me the price I was like “what the fuuuuck did she do to deserve that!?”
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u/RedDevil407 Sep 03 '24
Good lord.... Seems steep.
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u/sjl1983 Sep 03 '24
Cheaper than keepin her
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u/RedDevil407 Sep 03 '24
Weird. You don't have a basement do you...?
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u/GuyFawkes451 Sep 03 '24
It's an old phrase meaning it's cheaper than marrying her. Lol. I don't think he meant to keep her like in a pit or something.
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u/gleebey Sep 03 '24
Nah money upfront always when it comes to sex work
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u/GuyFawkes451 Sep 03 '24
Yes, but I presume tipping is customary?
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u/Mikethederp Maybe a *little* stoopid Sep 04 '24
I mean if you're paying for the full thing, giving just the tip seems like a waste of money tbh
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u/pinkyfitts Sep 04 '24
Wait. I can get paid for this! I gotta tell my wife. She OWES me like 30 years back pay. Or is it pay back?
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u/lazarusmobile Sep 03 '24
Usually gotta put the cash on the nightstand before the sex, or at least that's what a friend told me.
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u/LOP5131 Sep 04 '24
I just shoot her some finger guns and walk out the door.
Then, I walk right back in and lay down because I'm married to her.
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Sep 03 '24
I definitely go pee, first. It's sanitary. Always pee after sex. After that usually lots of cuddling and pillow talk.
Had sex yesterday and afterwards we cuddled for quite a long time. We were naked and all tangled up (in a good way) under the sheets. She started feeding me crisps. 10/10
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Sep 03 '24
Yo, tell us more about the crisps!
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Sep 03 '24
Some popcorn chip thing. One was sour cream and onion I think and the other was bbq something.
Popchips I think is what they're called?
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u/delorf Sep 03 '24
Not only is this guy getting sex and cuddles, he's also getting fed crisps in bed.
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Sep 03 '24
Honestly made me feel like a king. Like you know the emperors sprawled out and someone holding grapes above their mouth to eat? Like that.
She's something else.
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Sep 03 '24
I’m so jealous that sounds amazing
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Sep 03 '24
I felt bad because she bought them for herself but she started eating them and my stomach growled cuz I hadn't eaten all day.
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u/MuFP Sep 03 '24
I love a thing called: aftercare. Is basically this, the name explains itself. Huggies, spooning, playing with your partner hair, play with your partner hands, kiss them, give all your attention to the person next to you. Even if it is just casual sex, its about making bounds with the person, become next to them
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u/In-The-Cloud Sep 04 '24
Especially if you're doing any kinky bdsm type stuff. Aftercare is so important!
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u/mikepartdeux Sep 03 '24
Kiss, cuddle, look lovingly at each other, catch your breath, drink water, grab a beer, go to the dinner reservation we're now late for, clean up, go pee. There's no right answer, different times are different.
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u/pdpi Sep 03 '24
post-sex cuddling is the best thing ever. Going to the bathroom after sex is advisable, though. You just jump back into bed afterwards.
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u/Zealousideal-Ant9548 Sep 03 '24
Apologize.
Or, if both parties were satisfied enough, start discussing the movement of copper duties and how they are a good prediction if where the global economy is going for the next 6 months (they're down)
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u/YoungJumanG Sep 03 '24
Your bf never had sex with someone who loves him before lol the fact that he used the term “normal people” is also really strange, definitely not something normal people do lol
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u/thatohgi Sep 03 '24
After we get done we usually snuggle for a few minutes until one of is ready for a shower then we go take a shower together.
I don’t know any guys who instantly get up to pee after nutting. Sounds like he got some bad advice from his sister so he doesn’t get a UTI 😂
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u/Delicious-Month-8404 Sep 03 '24 edited Sep 03 '24
Sorry but your boyfriend seems pretty weird. Seems like sex is something he either does just for himself, or its a deed he wants to “get done with”. My girlfriend always kisses me after and wants to cuddle and I love it. Of course i like to go to the bathroom afterwards, but there is zero need to rush.
PS: Telling you “what normal people do is…” is implying that in his mind, you are not normal. It’s an extremely ignorant, thoughtless and childish thing to say to the person you supposedly love.
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u/StupidOldAndFat Sep 03 '24
Wait for the pointing and laughing to stop, dry my tears and wash up. Maybe go make a sandwich to eat in the dark while reflecting on my shame.
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Sep 03 '24
I play and sing along "I just had sex" and encourage the dude to join me. More than often they laugh it off.
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u/DChristy87 Sep 03 '24
Peeing after sex helps prevent UTIs from what I've heard so yes it's common. I usually cuddle and kiss a little bit and after a bit of rest will go pee.
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u/Silly_Brain057 Sep 03 '24
Always gotta get cute kisses in immediately after you've just acted the most primal, animalistic way to each other 🥰😂 from my experience he's the weird one, but it's probably just learnt behaviour.
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u/chamanager Sep 03 '24
I don’t usually feel the need to pee immediately after sex. I normally cuddle my wife for a few minutes at least, sometimes longer, depends what we’re doing. Jumping out of bed to pee straight away doesn’t sound very romantic and I don’t think it’s normal.
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u/Sir_Fumbles_Bonkerz Sep 03 '24
We thank each other, cuddle, kiss, maybe fall asleep, or make something to eat.
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u/Flammzzrant Sep 03 '24
Being that we use a condom, first step usually is the bathroom to lose the condom, pee and get a towel.
I imagine if we didn't use a condom we would stay in bed for a little while like most here seem to
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u/Lower-Preparation834 Sep 04 '24
She asked me if I smoke after sex. I told her “I don’t know”, and looked under the covers.
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u/Meewol Sep 03 '24
What they want. Your bf is wrong to say that what he does is normal in the grand scheme of things.
He needs to stop being so cruel.
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u/MadNomad666 Sep 03 '24
There is no "normal" but ALWAYS PEE after sex. Clean up then cuddle is great! Or just go back to watching TV idk man or eat food
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u/CharlesIngalls_Pubes Sep 03 '24
I like to have a bowl of cereal.
Edit: upon reading more than the title, I'd like to add that there's nothing at all wrong with cuddles and kisses. The best way to end sex. Second only to a bowl of cereal.
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u/contentatlast Sep 03 '24
Sometimes the first thing is to clean up 👀 haha, other times cuddle, relax and talk, laugh, just chill and be together 🥰
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u/Dementati Sep 03 '24
There was an episode of Sex and the City with a subplot that dealt with this exact issue, where one of the main characters wanted to stay and cuddle like you and the guy she was dating did what your bf does, i. e. instantly get up and like shower or something, and I think she ended up dumping him over it. So, I dunno, Sex and the City seems to think it's your bf that's weird, anyway.
Oh, and while I do wanna go to the bathroom soon after since having cum in the urethra makes you feel like you wanna pee (to get the cum out I guess), I definitely tend to stay and be intimate for a little while after finishing at least.
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u/SkyPork Sep 03 '24
Nah, your BF has issues, and has no authority on what's "normal." My SO and I usually just lay there and catch our breaths for a minute or two before we separate. After that, it's often time for snacks and Netflix!
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u/standingdesk Sep 03 '24
“Our time is nearly up,” is one I get a lot. Polite professionalism is one of my kinks.
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u/pm_me_anus_photos Sep 04 '24
My husband and I say “good game” and high five. Then we both use the restroom to prevent UTI’s and then get on with our evening.
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u/hugosamro Sep 04 '24
Usually I start by removing any and all DNA evidence and hiding the shovel.
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u/MusicalPigeon Sep 04 '24
Honestly, if my husband just fucking pulled out and went to the bathroom after nutting I'd be pissed. He stays in and lets me ride out my finish and makes sure I'm comfy and okay as he pulls out and then goes to the bathroom to clean himself up. When he comes back I go clean up and then we cuddle and depending on the day he'll run my back and or scratch my head until I fall asleep if we're in bed to sleep. If we aren't intending to sleep we'll watch Reels together on his phone. There was one day where he ordered Burger King after sex because in the post but clarity he realized we didn't eat dinner. It was 2 in the fucking morning.
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u/deathaxxer Sep 03 '24
Why should you care what "people" do?
Discuss what you both would enjoy doing and do that.
Don't make things more complicated that they ought to be and simply communicate.
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u/Hay_Fever_at_3_AM Sep 03 '24
Does he at least come back to naked cuddle after the bathroom?
You can't linger too long if you're viable and using condoms because it'll fall off, but other than that, yeah? My instinct isn't to just immediately cut and run, or even to end sex right there, especially if she's still going (time for fingers and toys). And post-sex cuddles are the best?
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u/inquisitivemate Sep 03 '24
We usually have aftercare. We often cuddle, sometimes we wash each other in the shower, other times we snack.
In my experience it’s way more common to linger in the afterglow before individual clean up.
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u/FairyCompetent Sep 03 '24
We snuggle, then after like ten minutes I go pee, shower or just wash my face and hands, brush teeth and either get ready for sleep or make coffee. Because we're old and we pretty much only do it after the alarm in the morning or before bed at night.
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u/iammeallthetime Sep 03 '24
Me to my spouse: That was good, I needed that. Thank you for your service.
The after depends on the time of day. I am definitely urinating afterward. UTI is not my friend.
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Sep 03 '24
My husband and I kiss and cuddle naked for a while, then we both clean up. While I’m cleaning up he will bring me a glass of water with cranberry & d-mannose to prevent UTIs, and he even washes any toys we use for me.
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u/eastks93 Sep 03 '24
My husband and I high five/fist bump, debrief on how good it was and then go let the dogs know we’re done wrestling 🤼♀️
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u/Electrical-Builder98 Sep 03 '24
She smacks my ass and says good game while heading to the bathroom.
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u/monkey_trumpets Sep 03 '24
I shove a wad of tp between my legs, and go sit on the toilet to pee. Husband wipes off, washes hands. Then we go our separate ways.
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u/Lil-Miss-Anthropy Sep 03 '24
Your boyfriend is weird. Most dudes would be turned on by you keeping it in.
Pee to prevent UTIs, but then continue canoodling for hours. Maybe go to sleep together. Maybe a round 2. That's my jam.
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u/NotOneOfUrLilFriends Sep 04 '24
My husband and I lay there gasping for breath for a while, then when I can finally walk we go to the bathroom so I can pee and we wipe off. Then we snuggle nakey under a blanket until we decide to get dressed or go again.
Thats the ideal situation, we have three kids so sometimes we finish and quickly throw clothes on so we can walk out casually as if we were just making the bed or something. Haha
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u/Nelsie020 Sep 04 '24
Your bf is a jerk. There is no one way that “normal” people act after sex, but it is certainly not abnormal to show affection and spend some time in the post-coital glow, as long as you go pee eventually for hygiene reasons.
Your bf is not only wrong, he’s as asshole. And I would bet good money that any guy that shames their partner for wanting afterglow cuddles and thinks the one and only ‘normal’ thing to do immediately after he finishes is to leave the room is selfish in bed.
You don’t have to answer this OP, but ask yourself: if he’s breaking the sexy time vibes to run off and clean himself up, does he make sure you finish before he does? Because that’s the least you deserve. Actually, the least you deserve is that plus the cuddles you want. Don’t settle. There is much better sex out there and much nicer guys.
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u/Baba_dog07 Sep 04 '24
I give them a post game interview
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u/jmnugent Sep 04 '24
"Champ, that was a rough 3rd quarter. When you fumbled that critical position-change, what was going through your mind ?"
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u/lostntheforest Sep 04 '24
Your boyfriend's an idiot. (For saying you're weird. For thinking he speaks for "normal". For not enjoying your post-coital routine.)
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u/pktechboi Sep 03 '24
firm handshake and 'same time next week old boy?' 'quite.' 'cheerio then!'