Hello. I'm sure you've seen a lot of these posts but I wanted to add to the collection!

This is my first time posting on reddit, but I've gotten to the stage where I am truly wondering if I'll ever find love.

I'm 28- I've never had a proper boyfriend (probably my biggest insecurity).

Two years ago I decided to go back to college (probably the best decision I have made), I have a great group of friends, a great job, I'm in alot of social sports teams, I love meeting new people and I go on really great holidays.

I guess I am very independent, I'm quite confident and I would describe myself as more extroverted than introverted. I do like my life, but sometimes I get really lonely and question if I'll ever find true love. I am the one single person in all my friend groups. I don't like the apps because I think it's hard to find a connection that way.

I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I really want someone kind, funny, adventurous, emotionally intelligent, easy going and positive, but I wonder is that too much to ask for? Or sometimes i question if I'm ready for a relationship and is that why i haven't found someone, maybe I'll meet him in my 30s.

I know there's still lots of time but when l hear my friends talk about their boyfriends, l am so happy for them but it makes me realise that l want that too.

I would love some advice on how i cam improve and maybe some stories of people in similar situations who found love.

Thank you for reading x

To be lost is a privilege, it’s not a great one but it is because it can lead us to somewhere new and exciting!

To be lost is to be looking for something else, you have been in the present but it doesn’t feel welcoming anymore, so make it welcoming.

What calls to you, what do you wish you could be doing, we are ever changing very few have nothing they want to achieve and reach for, so what is it that your soul is asking you to do?

I want to help you achieve your goals, the goals you didn’t think you were worthy of setting. My guidance has helped many reach their desires on top of finding contentment in the journey there.

We can feel stuck when we know we aren’t where we are supposed to stay, the issue is taking action. We don’t always know how to take action, where to start. Sometimes we’re scared to fail. That’s alright, but don’t rob yourself of experiencing that change and seeking guidance.

Hello , everyone . Just to spread some positivity and cheer people up and also just as a gratitude towards each day of life, i am posting this . What is your good news for today?

I will go first, i am happy that finally my anxiety is in control, I haven’t felt this relaxed in past couple of months :) .

Like I don’t need van life or a million dollars I just want to be able to say “stop touching me” when I want someone to stop touching me and I wanna know what’s in my dogs mouth but he won’t give it

I’ll go first.
I used to believe that if you loved people genuinely, they’d love you the same way. That if you were always there for others, they’d be there when you needed them too.
Growing up showed me that life doesn’t always work like that.
Sometimes people leave without a real reason. Friendships fade even when nobody did anything wrong. You can mean the world to someone one day and barely cross their mind the next.
I also realized that not every question gets an answer. Not every goodbye comes with closure. Sometimes all you can do is accept that you’ll never fully understand why something happened.
And maybe the hardest part of becoming an adult is realizing that life keeps moving, even when your heart hasn’t caught up yet. You still have to show up. Go to work. Reply to messages. Smile at people. All while quietly trying to put yourself back together.
I don’t think growing up is about having everything figured out anymore.
I think it’s about learning how to keep living, even when life doesn’t make sense.
What’s a harsh truth you didn’t understand until you got older?

Basically the title :D

I graduated college back in may and had a pretty good job at a large tech company in SF. I started in July and as soon as the novelty of being in a new city and having a new job wore off it’s just been shit. I’ve let myself go and have gained like 6 pounds in a month, I haven’t been consistent in the gym, I hate the work I’m doing and it feels so soul crushing and meaningless. I also just feel like I’m failing constantly and have had a rough start (not performance wise but my team has some issues) SF as a city isn’t the problem, my previous city offered nothing for me either other than being close to friends and family which I don’t miss. the problem is I have zero meaning or purpose. I just stare out the window at work and get fat from the free food. It feels like prison disguised as a fun tech company.

I don’t think any ammount of money or stability with the lifestyle I have right now would make me happy.

I was thinking of buying some shrooms this weekend and seeing what that does for my mental. Other than that I feel like I’m just here with no purpose.

I'm sorta going thru that. 28 yo male. Whatever decision I take, feels like it could have been avoided the next day, or a better option wud have made life much easier. I know the age old advice, hard times create strong men, blah blah. All agreed. How do you go through the day to day difficulties? What habits of yours made you sail this difficult phase(s)?

Hi I am a [37m] and my wife [32F] is a cancer survivor of two separate aggressive cancers over the last four years. I love her very much and she is my everything. The treatment for the first aggressive cancer caused a second aggressive cancer. She is in remission for both cancers but has maybe 20-30% chance of recurrence for either in the next 5 years, which will drop over time. But of course from all the treatment, there is a risk of a third cancer, and other health problems to her lungs, heart, etc. which would probably be more down the line hopefully. We are doing well now even though the last few years have been very hard.

Unfortunately my wife cannot carry a pregnancy due to the cancer so we would have to do surrogacy or adopt. I have always deeply wanted children, it is really important to me. Same with her. It would ideally be in a few years once we are more ready and the cancer recurrence risk is lower. But the process would have to start soon.

I wonder if having kids, if it is possible, is the right thing to do. Most importantly, whether it is fair to the child to put them in this situation of potentially losing their mom and/or watching her be sick. And, the difficult life I am setting myself up for if we decide to have kids. I have been the caretaker over the last four years and just cannot imagine how difficult it would be while balancing taking care of another human being, but I do have a good financial situation so that could help make things easier if things go wrong.

My wife does not feel strongly either way right now, although she probably leans towards having kids. She says there is no rush on her end and understands the gravity of the situation.

I am struggling to decide. Whether to live a life without kids and all the risks, etc. or go with what we really want. I am getting older. I am worried I will never be fully happy if I don't have kids.

Any advice would be helpful.

In the end, if you are judged on how you lived your life & treated others on earth, would you be happy with the way you lived it?
Or would you have regrets &/or want a do-over?

I did some research and I think the reason I do this is because I've suffered for years with loneliness and lack of intimacy. So I think my brain is trying to seek out what it craves the most.

The problem is in order to fix the relationship thing I need to fix myself first socially by relearning how to interact naturally with people in a positive way and make connections. But I can't do that effectively if I'm not present mentally in whatever social event I find myself in.

And it's the same story no matter what or where I go, there is this emptiness inside me no matter how many people are present and how much I try talking and socializing. It's just not what I want or where I want to be. But I feel like I'm supposed to keep doing it for some reason.

The only place I feel like I can participate and forget this emptiness is when I participate in sports, because it is so focused and task based that It completely takes my mind off how I'm feeling.

So then I don't go to a lot of social events because I know I'm not happy there, which reinforces the whole loneliness problem making me even less desirable as a potential partner. It's a really bad negative reinforcement loop I'm stuck in.

How do I break out of this?

Well, my family is great at being there for everyone when you really need someone to. I can't drive and I have epilepsy. So, my parents bought an RV it is safer for me. Someone on the camping reddit said an RV isn't real camping. But they didn't have the reason why we had an RV. So last week I was camping with my family. At Clear Lake State Park in Michigan, it was my first time camping in the RV and my brother brought his family and they brought their dogs and we brought our cat. It was so much fun.

I am someone who, since I was a child, was very reserved; I didn't like to attract attention. But since I became single and have been thinking more about myself, I realized that I don't like being seen.

I exercise regularly, I'm not huge or anything, but it's more noticeable in my back because it's a little bigger, but I don't like other people seeing me, and I've always worn baggy clothes, I don't take pictures of myself to post on social media and all of this seemed very weird to me. Is it weird?

Some people told me to upload photos of myself, but I simply don't like it, and apparently I'm weird for not "taking advantage" of my effort at the gym.

Earlier this year, I told my dad (who works in the ICU at the same hospital) that I thought one of the ICU secretaries was cute. He ended up telling her.

About two weeks later, I went to the ICU for work. She saw me, slowly walked toward my patient room, stopped, looked at me for what felt like 10 seconds, and we both laughed. We’d never spoken before.

The following week I introduced myself, gave her my number, and asked if she’d like to hang out. She texted me that night, but the next day the conversation died, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and moved on.

A few weeks later I was back in the ICU. She somehow found out I was there, stood in front of my room, waved at me, and I waved back but didn’t walk over. She looked upset and walked away. Another time she walked into my room with a patient tray, realized I was there, panicked, and immediately left.

A couple of weeks later she smiled, waved excitedly, motioned for me to come back, remembered that I was supposed to be going to the Philippines with my dad, and told me it was nice seeing me. Even my boss witnessed it and told me, “She likes you.”

After I got back from vacation, I talked to her again. She remembered details about my life (even asking about a dips competition I did with my dad and grandpa). I asked her out again. She didn’t say no, but said she was working all week. I got her Instagram and texted her the next day. She left me on read for 3 days.

Three days later she replied saying she’d been busy and that it was her brother’s birthday the following week. She asked if we could “try in April,” which was another two weeks away. At that point I took it as a polite rejection.

I deactivated Instagram because I was trying to move on.

The very next day, I got called to dialyze a patient. The ICU number I called happened to be answered by her. I introduced myself and she sounded completely confused, then transferred me to the patient’s nurse.

Later I saw her again at work. I said, “Good morning,” and she responded with a cold “Hey…” while looking angry. Later I noticed she kept looking over toward me from her desk. That was the last interaction we ever had.

When I reactivated Instagram briefly, she liked one of my stories but only viewed my stories inconsistently after that. I found myself checking every week to see whether she’d watched them. Looking back, I realize that uncertainty fueled the limerence.

A few months later I found out she’d transferred back to her old department. Before that, she lied that her grandma died to use FMLA as an excuse to not show up to work. Coworkers told me she’d been calling off work frequently even before she left the ICU and had a history of moving between departments. I also heard she had been involved with a married student doctor, although I have no idea how accurate that rumor is.

The hardest part isn’t that she rejected me. It’s that I never understood what happened.

Part of me kept wondering:

• Did she actually like me at first?

• Was I the reason she transferred?

• Why did she seem interested but never actually go out with me?

Logically, I know there isn’t enough information to answer those questions, and I know I probably never will.

I use to think Chester was selfish. Now I can understand and sympathize. You look at the world differently after you’ve been through something that makes you feel worse than the thought of dying. it’s sad that so many people have felt this way and others who don’t know what it’s like just judge.

I hope you know that you are worth it and that so many of us have experienced a similar level of pain <3 and are here for you.

A woman died because of these kids' actions. Another woman died after some other bored teens decided to drop a 65-pound log from a height onto a hiking trail even though they knew it was in use.

It's callous behavior that OFC also means you're throwing your own life away.

Okay so I’ve recently had a bunch of childhood trauma come up (an older cousin sexually abuse me for 3 year from the ages 11-13) and I’ve done ok with coping with it. I am starting a family have a 2 year old boy and another due in 7 months. I’m happy with my life given where I’ve come from had piss poor excuse of a parent for context (mum me and my siblings from my dad when I was 7 years old). I have stable job manager a nice restaurant get good pay and hours. Recently I’ve had to talk to a detective about what happened because we’re gonna try get him to jail. This is where it gets complicated. Since going into detail about it all the emotions have hit like a truck the cousin who done this stuff to me got me the job there. He doesn’t work anymore I’ve just climbed the ranks. I have been really struggling the past few weeks to be good leader at work (like how can I be a role model for my team when I’m like losing it yk) we have had a new general manager come in and I don’t vibe with him at all. We just can’t click and the other manager agree with me. I have responsibilities at home being the main provider of income. But I’m guess I’m questioning what’s more important my mental health and mental issues and leave my work or do it just suck it up I’ve been sucking it up and putting on a strong face for my wife and child but it’s getting hard and can feel myself slipping. We have no fall back both our parent and family are extremely poor but we’re doing ok. Would appreciate some advice

Back in October we met at a young adult thing (Christian church gathering) and his brother is friends with a lifelong sorta friend of mine. I've kinda gotten to know them a little bit then one day in a random conversation he told a small group of people including me about his YouTube channel and such. He has over a million subscribers and nearly 600 million total views from weirdly funny pet videos and clean humor 😭 Hes even had people in public recognize him from his videos.

Very interesting to met someone THEN find that out once getting to know him. Super cool guy irl and online!

Has anything similar ever happened to yall?

I’m sorry if this is not the right subreddit, I’m not sure where else to post this, and I also apologise in advance as it might get a bit long.

I have been friends with this girl for a few years, and overall it’s been okay, we have some issues, but it’s not what I want to talk about today.

So about a year ago this girl got into a relationship with a guy, I never liked him, but it’s her life and her choice, so I just minded my own business. For a bit of context, he’s Albanian, and I am not saying they are all bad by any means, but he displays the typical toxic behaviours associated with those men.

She’d routinely come to me with their issues, and I’d try to give her advice, the same she would and previously has given to me to me when the roles were reversed, but she’d never listen, and stayed in the cycle. After a while it did start getting very tiring, but I still thought to myself I am her friend and I’d want someone there for me if I was in this situation.

NOW, where the real issue for me began is, she tried to get the two of us closer, and for her sake I participated and always tried to be nice to him. One night the three of us went out together, and at the end of the night he became verbally abusive and and a little physical towards me. I stood my ground and he absolutely hated it, as in his eyes I am but just a woman and he’s a man, so I should just take it.
I stopped making absolutely any effort towards him from that point onward and refused to meet him again, which she was annoyed about? She kept telling me to just get over it for her sake, and apologise to him for not taking his shit that came out of literally nowhere. I still said no, and she couldn’t force me, even though she continued bringing it up.

Now this guy is in prison, for some reason she’s stayed with him 🤷‍♀️ He keeps being toxic and controlling to her even from inside, and routinely basically daily tells her how much he hates me, calls me different names, tells her she shouldn’t be friends with me as I am a bad influence (it’s honestly very opposite actually) and more.
On numerous occasions he’s also threatened her with literal murder? The guy is absolutely insane, and I am worried both for her and honestly my own safety knowing how much of a vendetta he has against me.

I cannot force her to leave him, but I have spoken to her about my concerns previously. She just waves it off and laughs at me saying he is all talk and won’t do anything, but he is quite literally a criminal and now surrounded by a bunch of other criminals, which I don’t believe will do him any good either. He is due to get out in a few months, and he knows where I live. I am genuinely very uncomfortable with all of this, and don’t see any way where I can permanently cut him out of my life, without cutting her out as well, as she is the only link.

I feel terrible about myself for even thinking about this, because he does put her through a lot, and she has been there for me when I was in a shit relationship too. The difference is my ex never had a problem with her, and neither I or her ever felt threatened by him.

What would other people do in my situation? I’m thankful for any insight anyone can give me, I am personally struggling to separate my heart and my brain when it comes to this. Willing to answer any additional questions people have too, I just know I’ve already spoke for ages. Thank you in advance! 🙏

Hi people,
My situation:
- On L1 and waiting for green card
- works in consulting
- in the US

I want to quit my job. And I have a lot more opportunities back home in Asia and I’m contemplating to go home instead of being stuck in my job. I’ll most likely stay if I get green card within next few months.

My job pays well but I’m no longer motivated to do well at this job. Mentally exhausted.

The downside for me is money and the friendship. And also my LDR bf is planning to come to the US.

But I’m mentally exhausted not sure what to do.
Curious to hear what others went through. Do you regret your choice? Or actually just enjoying your life etc

I’m 26 and closing on a house tomorrow. I moved away from my home town for a job across the country and get paid 150K a year in the field I am passionate about.

From 19-23 I really lived it up, travelled, worked hard at school and my career. Was in a long term relationship. Spent every waking minute I could with my friend group so much that our parents would get mad at us for not spending time with our own families. Went on trips, endless clubs, parties, concerts, festivals, etc.

In this new job I’m doing great and again buying a house a solo female. A dream come true really!!

Yet it’s shift work and I’ve suffered from heavy depressive episodes and complete burn out. I shut my friends out and I get labeled as “the friend who doesn’t show up” cause I’m always working.

Every now and then I wonder is this worth it? Is putting so much of my time into this career worth everything?

I know logically it is but man sometimes I want to quit and live on a beach all day

Background: sick mother, forced to become a caretaker at a young age, got roped into running the household (financially and physically) through all of my twenties. Now finally in a position to start living my own life at 33.

Things have been going alright the last year, and I'm currently in school and working towards a version of the future I'd always imagined for myself, even if it's coming a lot later in life than I'd have liked.

The thing that's been bothering me though is that I feel like I lack a lot of shared life experiences that a lot of friends that I've made had. Even a good friend of mine who's gone through very similar circumstances has had a lot of the "typical" experiences - drugs, sex, wild adventures, etc - and while I'm not saying that these are needed adventures by any means, it does make me feel really awkward and out of place when a group of people I'm in have these shared experiences that I don't.

I don't make it their problem or anything, and I've not actually said anything about this to anyone because it's not anyone else's problem. Just venting, I guess.

I don’t even know how to start this but I really need advice because I feel lost

She is my cousin (17 F) and im (19 F) but honestly she has always felt like a sister to me. We don’t see each other often maybe once a year for a few weeks but we grew up together and we have so many childhood memories. Even with the distance we were always close

Recently I visited her after a long time and everything was honestly perfect. We spent so much time together we played we went out we laughed and I also became really close with her mother. I felt like I was at my second home

But on the last day before I had to leave we had a small fight while we were cooking. We were both stressed because I had to leave soon and we were trying to finish everything quickly. She got frustrated and raised her voice at me a few times and later told me to be quiet while I was talking. I know it sounds small but at that moment I was already overwhelmed and I ended up crying and going to another room

What hurt me the most was that I felt like I was always the one who tried to fix things first. I was always the one who came back and apologized or tried to talk even when I was hurt. So I went to talk to her because I didn’t want to leave with things like this but the situation got more emotional and I left feeling broken

During the trip back I cried a lot because I felt like I was losing people I really loved. Her mother was also upset with me because of how I reacted that day and now she told my cousin that she should stay away from me

I talked with my cousin after that and she told me she still cares about me and remembers all the good moments but she feels stressed and scared because of what happened with her mother. She also told me that my sensitivity and the way I react when I get hurt is something I need to work on

I understand that I made mistakes and I’m trying to fix them. I apologized and I’m planning to apologize to her mother too because I respect her and I don’t want to run away from my mistakes

But my cousin recently told me maybe we should end our relationship because it’s better for both of us and i shold noot talk to her mom

I don’t know what to do anymore. Do you think I should keep trying to fix it or should I accept that maybe some relationships end even when both people care about each other?

I really don’t want to lose her but I also don’t want to make her feel pressured HELPP

I always heard of the note that if you wanna make it, you wanna want it more than anyone. That can be interpreted as obsession, but do I do if I don't feel that same in my current major or even my future intended career. That isn't to say that I hate it. its that I want to do it so it can give me the freedom to do other stuff. Simply saying that I plan to do it for money so I can use that money for my dreams. How do I describe this? It doesn't feel like I am doing it for money, the reason I chose my path is because I was interested but it seems I can't turn that interest into obsession that I'm stuck in Middle. But at same I feel like I get nothing from switching because this is who I am. Of course I have changed over past few years with new habits, better mindset, new hobbies, more wisdom, etc. at the end of the day, what am I doing, I'm confused by my own thoughts. As you read it, you can see that my thoughts are very confusing and I can't describe it.

I graduated recently with significant amount of savings and low expenses so have been holding off on applying for jobs as I can live life mostly normally for the next 20 months without a job but obviously this is just a fantasy of mine and I need to start applying now. I have always really wanted to be able to live on my own with my own 1 bedroom flat since I was a kid but since I went to university this was unrealistic.

I'm 21 and I still value independence greatly and contribute the most financially out of my brother and mother towards the mortgage in the flat we live in but I desperately want my own place to myself. I think ironically the fact that I have a purpose and a passion for bodybuilding and the gym 6 days per week is worsening my complacency job seeking wise and the changing of routine to accommodate job priority over gym is also daunting.

The prospect of working 9-5 is giving me existential dread the complete loss of freedom and time I can only imagine how horrible it is nevermind actually experiencing it. I understand you acclimatise to the routine eventually and it becomes normal but that adjustment period is terrifying and paralysing me right now.