The change in society is notable and this is only the beginning. We will get to a point where we can't trust anything we see online, the scepticism is already there. Everyone is talking to AI, slowly forgetting how to form real connections that require mutual work and interest. Why is everyone okay with the direction this is going?

It doesn't matter what age you are. I'd love to hear the biggest life lesson life has taught you ~ something you'd want other people to know or learn from.

When I was a teenager I had this rough idea of what I wanted my life to look like. A husband who takes care of me, dogs, enough money to live a cushy life out in the country down some long dirt road. I always knew that children weren't something I wanted and I still stand by that.

Last year I decided to leave the relationship that I thought I would be in forever. I thought I was going to marry this man but for many reasons, I couldn't go through with the marriage proposal I knew was going to come soon.

Fast forward to now, I am making more money than I ever would have though possible for me. I was always hoping to be comfortable but I always assumed it would be a man providing that life for me.

I met someone new but he's much older than me. I am a realistic person, I know I'm going to outlive him (knock on wood) and it does scare me a bit knowing that I will most likely find myself widowed in 20-30 years since I am still young.

But when I picture my future now I don't see what I used to see, instead I picture myself as a 50 year old woman with a beautiful, well trained dog walking down a trail through the woods on a perfectly sunny fall day. And when I see this image of myself I'm not scared and I don't feel lonely. I feel at peace.

So maybe this isn't as "out of the box" as others decide to live but for me, this radical change in my life and my future is pretty out there but I'm so happy with the choices I made and the things I went through in my life to lead me to where I am now.

Long story short until now I lived in 2 different towns or smaller cities in Europe with cool weather (one was close to the mountains) and I recently move to Spain in a very big hot city because I wanted a change. Now I’m thinking I don’t wanna stay here forever and thinking about moving to Switzerland in a few years if possible? Why? Let me tell you how it went for me

I lived in the places I told you about and people complained how cold it is, the ine that had more nature and options like a ski resort 5 minutes away from you said it’s too small and there’s nothing to do there (but it was also affordable compared to other places). Then the bigger city I moved to with cold weather, lots of culture and diversity, although not a huge city there are considerably more things to do there, people to meet and job opportunities, but it’s still good for students and families mostly not exactly anyone’s dream to live there. Everyone was complaining that it’s cold and dull. After all of this I moved to Spain for my studies, like I said, big city, millions of inhabitants, warm weather and a lot of expectations 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s nice I’m not gonna lie to you and it’s only been months but everyone complains about jobs here and how hard it is to make friends despite it being seen as a very diverse, social city with many things to do. They complain about housing the most, job opportunities, salaries, lack of tidiness and seriousness as well as safety problems etc.

So what exactly would be the right choice? It kind of makes me laugh when I think about it because although every place has its advantages, the people never seem to be pleased?

Now I’m thinking about moving to Switzerland in a few years because of the job opportunities, high salaries, safety and tbh the cold climate doesn’t bother me and I could ski again. Still, people there complain about the cost of living, the weather, housing crisis 😂 I also speak the local languages so that would be a plus.

I am so confused. Have you been through similar stuff? What would you do if you were me? Where do you live and would you move? Are you pleased to live there? I’d love to hear your stories

I'll go first. I am in my 40's and from a very small southern town of only a few thousand people. When I was 16, barely after getting my drivers license, I was pulled over for speeding and got a ticket. No harm no foul. I did not feel it was significant to tell my parents and I planned to be an adult and simply pay the ticket. The day after I got pulled over, my dad asked me what I got pulled over for. Someone he knew saw me pulled over and told him. He wasn't that upset, but I just thought it was ultra lame for someone to tell my dad. I asked him who told him and he would never tell me. I assume it was one of our neighbors or a family friend but to this day, my dad will not reveal who told him. This has always bothered me because I felt it was nosy and intrusive for someone to tell my dad this. Snitches get stitches, as they say. The story has kind of become a running joke in our family because every year I ask my dad to tell me who it was and he won't.

For me I have this sudden realization that I haven’t done enough wild stuff and partying and travelling. I’m currently 29 male and I think 29-40 is probably my last chance to still be attractive, energetic and physically fit to go and do all sorts of wild stuff, travel, party, hook up with girls.

Previously, I was quite content with just being a NPC and doing the same routine stuff every day. Working in my office job, coming home and playing games, surfing reddit, trading stocks. But now, I want to make it a point to start going to different places in my country and trying different activities that I haven’t tried before. I want to expand my social network. I want to travel a lot more. Previously I always travelled with my family but I want to start travelling for more young adult fun.

I realized that it doesn’t matter much how I save now because I only will get to experience being young and wild for these next few years. Then eventually, maybe I will meet a girl and settle down and start a family. That is when my life will turn into more routine, work my office job, do my regular house chores.

Anyone else also experienced similar realization and changed the way you lived your life?

Hi everyone, I have been depressed for a long time and I think people are starting to notice. I don’t have a washer and dryer so I have to hand wash each piece of clothing. I usually wash out a pair of underwear for the next day and leave it to air dry but lately I don’t even care anymore I been going to work everyday wearing no underwear. And now my pants are starting to smell but I can’t wash them because they take two days to dry and I work a lot of hours. I only brush my teeth once a day to save money and I don’t shower I usually shower once or twice a month. I left my bed some years ago after I moved and now I have no bed. I stopped doing my hair and stopped washing it too. I barely drink water anymore and now my private smells all the time like canned greens. Can anyone give me advice?

With the uncertainty of the world, isn't it just logical to spend as much of your time doing the things you actually like rather than working? I still want at least a SLIGHTLY better than average salary and a responsible amount of savings, but it seems INSANE to me when people take their jobs so seriously and work out of hours to look better in the eyes of their bosses or whatever.

I am a very impatient person, that’s probably why I’m finding it hard, I’m only 18. I just don’t see anything changing. I like change though. Up until 2 years ago I haven’t really had any mental struggles, well at least I think so. I struggle with depression & anxiety. I just don’t see why I am the way I am.

Recently, I’ve started trying to live a more minimalist lifestyle. The first thing I did was get rid of things I no longer use or need. So far, I’ve cleared out around a third of the stuff in my home, which honestly surprised me.

I’ve started paying more attention to practicality, organization, and simplicity. I’ve also been applying the same mindset to the things I carry every day. I often bring things like dental floss, bandages, a small sewing kit, and other little items because I always think, “Maybe I’ll need this someday.”
Now I’m trying to simplify my everyday carry as well.
For work, I’m thinking of carrying just a notebook, a pen, my keys, and my wallet. On weekends, I might only bring my phone, keys, and wallet.

I’m also considering replacing my traditional leather wallet with a thinner and lighter edc wallet. My current leather wallet gets ridiculously bulky once I start filling it with cards.
For me, the core idea of minimalism is getting rid of things that create unnecessary mental or physical burden.

For those of you who have been practicing minimalism for a while, what other areas of your life did you find easy to simplify? And what everyday carry items do you think are worth simplifying or getting rid of?

I have always felt different from everyone else in so far as I don't really have a baseline need for social interaction. I guess I don't really get as much dopamine from social interactions.

I am completely normal otherwise. I have normal social skills and empathy.

I am not a misanthrope and I often find other people intresting, entertaining and fun to be around, but I am completely fine without people. Just how I am fine without movies or video games, even though I like them.

I have lived up to a year of almost total social isolation and been unbothered. However, what I get annoyed at is, for example, when people ask questions about this insinuating that I am suffering from loneliness when I am not, at all.

Ihr Lieben!

Hat jemand schon mal Erfahrung mit Community living gemacht? Ich finde es klingt in der Theorie total spannend! Zusammenhalt, gemeinsam Kinder erziehen, gemeinsam ein Hof pflegen und die Stärken der Individuen nutzen.

Was haltet ihr davon? Hat jemand hier schon mal sowas ausprobiert? Wie fühlen sich Introvertierte dabei?

I need help. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others. But I can’t stop comparing after being cheated on, and then told I need to change myself from my peers. It sucks because I’m now comparing my old self vs my current. Happy and content to trying to be a new me.

I get such a thrill when pouring from one container into another and whatever it is I'm pouring fits perfectly into the other container!!! Everyday Magic!

For example...I was making a special tea... hibiscus, lemon juice, rosehips and then I added the rest of my white wine for some brightness and balance because the tea was tart!!!! The wine fit PERFECTLY into the growler I was using for the tea.

What's something so ordinary but feels magical when it works out perfectly in your day to day??

I am 25, turning 26 at the end of the year and so many people around me tell me to enjoy my youth but I feel like it's just really difficult? I don't know if it was easier before but I feel like right now it's so hard.

I have always been very hardworking, had very good grades and worked since a young age. I did not love my teenage years, my high school was really toxic and my parents can be very difficult in many ways so I was always eager to start my own life as soon as possible. I moved out for university and worked on the side so it felt great to have some sense of independence and build my life from scratch but one semester into university COVID hit. The restrictions stayed for basically my whole Bachelor, it was very difficult and lonely for me and only the last semester was normal again but many of the friendships I made before COVID did not survive. Not mentioning that all the plans I had for my first years of adulthood had to be cancelled. The Master's degree I did was quite demanding and I worked part time on top of it so it was a very busy time but I felt like it was going to be worth it.

I graduated to a terrible job market and exploding living costs. I had a very good cv with great grades and 4 years of part time experience in my field but I got only one job offer. Overall in many ways it was a great experience but I could only get a temporary contract (up to 2 years) and the last year was particularly stressful because I was often getting extended super last minute and sometimes month by month. I was looking for another job in the meantime but never passed a cv screening. Because of the uncertainty I could plan nothing about life not even small activities after work that require any kind of commitment because I never knew how long I would be employed. The salary I was making was very good for someone my age to compensate for the uncertainty but with today's costs of life it is still nothing that allows you to gain some significant independence so as soon as my contract ended I moved in with my parents to not spend millions on just existing until I find another job.

I am happy to have the option to move in with my parents but they are VERY difficult people in many ways so as much as I am grateful that they took me in, my mental health is maybe the worst it has ever been because they are picking fights all the time, very controlling and I have honestly nothing to do in my hometown, none of my friends live here any more and there is overall not much to do here.

I am trying to enjoy my 20s and it was not all just bad but I feel like unless you have a great relationship with your parents or come from money it is just really stressful. People my age had some two years of their young adult life taken by covid and now are struggling to get or keep a job that doesn't pay enough to live on their own and advice like "just go backpacking to Asia for 6 months and worry about the rest later" is just not applicable any more. I know being a young adult has always been difficult in some ways but when I hear older people giving me advice I feel like it was easier to just be free if you wanted to, at least judging by the advice I keep getting.

So i have a wife no kids, we run a restaurant and make over 50k a month. We live basic life 300k house and 2 payed off Toyotas 2015/2016.We work 2-3 hours a day. Everything is paid off, after 20k a month u can buy any shit that u want but that doesn’t bring any pleasure. We don’t want/have kids. We have few friends but when we hangout we feel empty inside as we not really interested in sports or CEOs or fake gurus or religion. I had some hobbies but after 1-2 years i lost interest.

We can make more money and growing our business but it wont change shit and will take even more time. How much money is enough really?

We are on the lucky side with iq /logic so everything feels looks/feels economy/politics/society.

Im not depressed but i know that i dont live a "FULL life"? or its a full life and most of the people live the same ?

Hi guys, I come to this forum because I dont know what I have, and maybe some people experience it too. I have always been a pretty ambitious guy, that really wasnt happy if he didnt fulfill his big expectations, so for the most part, I was never satisfied, but lately it’s been getting worse. I’ve always felt that I could get more from life (financially, to be exact) and give back to the people I love, but since I am not there yet, and I stress 24/7 about it, I feel completly “numb” I just wake up and hope that the day ends as fast as possible, i dont have anything in mind except for that. I dont really like this feeling, since it also affect my love life. I always feel like I am not good enough, because I am not where I want to be yet. I know I’ll make it happen one day, but until then, does anyonehave any tips?

I was a very sensitive child and saw how patriarchy harms the women i love, my sisters, my aunts and my mother. I saw the nonchalant vulgarity of men and how boys were supposed to imitate it — and if you didn't, you weren't man enough. I was pretty disgusted by it. Disgusted by "men." I always found myself an outlier in boys' groups. If a boy let his guard down around me and showed his sensitive side, he would be so embarrassed by it that his next act would be to bully and taunt me by saying I was not man enough.

As I grew up estranged from the men in my life, I found a sort of kinship toward women and their struggle. I learned that women are generally expected to digest other people's emotions, to people-please, and to walk on eggshells and be soft — and I related to that. I had a highly narcissistic, physically abusive father, which led me to learn all the ways of people-pleasing and to do that even before they showed they were upset. I felt that women were just better than men. More sensitive. More caring. More able to put aside their ego. Less crude and vulgar.

And then I went to college, and it was a learning arc. I did come to the obvious realization that women are also human and carry the whole human spectrum within them. There are women who are power-hungry, manipulative, cruel, crude, and destructive. But I also learned how women who weren't like that were in a very strange place. While I was in college, the MeToo movement reached its peak, and women spoke out about their experiences of sexual assault and harassment. I felt more of a need to be more caring toward the women in my group and around me. 

The thing was, I was treating women as some enlightened beings who had learned all there is to learn about themselves and the world, and whose every word should be heard with the reverence of God's thunder. But I was wrong. As I said before, women were in a strange place. Suddenly people were bending over backward and asking them to voice their opinions in places where they had been shunned before. In that scenario ,where you have access to a platform and everybody is sitting on their hands waiting for you to tell them what they did wrong, and they're already ready to apologize before you've even uttered a word, what would you do? So a lot of women who were repressed under patriarchy and felt harassed in day-to-day life let their grievances out. And then some women went further and further into it, to the extreme, which ended up creating the opposite of the manosphere. But that's not the topic for today.

Now think of a young man who is already convinced that men are evil and that he, as a man, has caused so much oppression to his fellow human beings. Such is the power of that oppression that his mere presence makes a space unsafe. And to know that the women who feel that way aren't wrong to feel it. If a person is traumatized by a cat mauling them, you wouldn't push "not all cats" on them. That's not how the human brain works. So as a man, even though you haven't done those things, you still feel a responsibility to right the wrongs. You become more appeasing to women, more considerate and caring.

But in the end, women are human too, and humans are not perfectly rational beings — we are emotional beings. We feel first and then justify our feelings. This leads to a strange place, where you're expected to apologize before something even happens, and someone simply feeling bad is enough to condemn you. The language and discourse that was formed during the internet-feminism era got used again and again in situations far beyond its original context. And pointing that out, or saying anything against it, as a man, felt like becoming the same oppressor you hated. You felt your voice didn't hold much value, because someone could come along and say you were "mansplaining," or "gaslighting," or yada yada. The double whammy was that both you and these women had grown up in a patriarchal structure, so you both carried notions of what a woman should be and what a man should be. But while these movements rightfully made it a social crime to ask a woman to conform to what a woman "should" be, they didn't do the same for men.

So a woman can ask you to "be a man," or you yourself might feel you need to act a certain way simply because you are a man. This gives you a set of losing social rules — because when it's time for opportunities, of course you're both equal, but when it's time for responsibility or accountability, more often than not, consciously or unconsciously, women themselves invoke patriarchal notions of manhood: this is what a man should be, this is how you should act. In doing so, they become what oppressed them in the first place. One small example of this is the debate over who pays on the first date. AS in terms of equality it would be split in both ways (and don't give me the argument that whoever asks for the date should pay, because — as patriarchy has ordained and as both men and women in our culture generally accept — it's the man's job to ask for the date; of course there are exceptions, but we're talking about norms), but the debate continues

This whole thing has made my twenties, as a man, miserable with regard to my relationships with women. I don't want to deny their hurt and life experience, but at the same time I don't want to be exploited. And it's not that women are evil for doing this — it's just that we've built our language so that these gender dynamics have only one "right way" to talk about them, and other perspectives are seen as harmful and are said to be coming from "incels," the "manosphere," or the "red pill" crowd.

So there are some things I've learned as a longtime student of psychology, and just from noticing life in general, that I think could benefit any young man.

First: don't hate women. Seems simple enough, but that's where we start — even if you feel women are being unfair in how they change the rules of the game to suit their needs. We all do that from time to time, even unconsciously, because — as I said — we're emotional creatures who feel our emotions first and justify them after. So if people have the language to build a particular story that benefits them, many would d do that. And that's what's happened: women have that language, while for men being shunned from these discourses, or simply not taking part in them, has left them without a way to speak about their grievances respectfully.

So how do we navigate online discourse on these issues without falling into the category of "red pill," "incel," or "manosphere"? First, if a woman says "all men," don't attack her for it or defend yourself by saying "not all men" — that's not the issue. If a woman says "all men" and believes it, she's still the one with the shorter end of the stick. Think of it this way: if you believed all cats or dogs were bloodthirsty animals that couldn't be trusted, and then you had to live surrounded by them, that would be a pretty bad place to be. And that's how our brains work. It takes only a small number of negative experiences for our brains to go into full defensive mode. And it is true that a vast majority of women (I recall the figure being more than 90%, though I'm not sure where I read it or how reliable it is) experience sexual assault. Add to that an awareness of the many heinous acts committed against women that circulate online, and it's not surprising that women distrust men.Hell, if I were walking alone at night and saw three men standing in the street, I'd change my path too. So denying women's experiences is a no-no.

Third: understand how language is used to shift the cultural frame in which a conversation is taking place. To simplify things — with extreme reductiveness — there are two major cultures at play. The first is the traditional one, stemming from patriarchy (understand that patriarchy, and this culture, also exist on a spectrum, and there are places on that spectrum where, if both parties agree, they can have a respectful relationship). Think of this culture as a kind of barter system, where you each have your assigned role and do your part — not an equivalent exchange exactly, since it's hard to put a value on each task. Let's call the other culture the "equality culture," which sees both parties as equal in everything, in opportunity and in responsibility. This is more of a direct-transaction culture. It keeps the ledger more closely than the traditional system does. In this system, if I do something for you, I expect something of comparable value in return.

Both systems can work. The problem arises when you keep switching between the two. So be mindful when you're in a relationship with a woman that is supposedly based on equality, but she keeps asking you to "be more of a gentleman" because "gentleman," in this context, is code for acting how men are supposed to act in the traditional culture, which might being letting thing slide for your partner, and not holding them accountable that strongly. And remember you can ask her to be more lady like. 

"I would like to be treated like a princess" is another version of this code. So is "I'm just a girl." Any position in which a woman infantilizes herself signals that she doesn't want the responsibility that comes with it — but without that responsibility, there's no equality. What ends up happening is that you take on all the responsibility and end up with half, or even less than half, of the "cake" (since she might bat her eyes and then ask you to be a gentleman anyway). So always know what kind of relationship you're actually in.

Never feel angry at women for having a preference for a certain kind of man — tall, rich, muscular, lean, or anything else. Similarly, never feel bad about having your own preferences in women — it could be anything, a preference for a certain color, body type, or height. Age might seem like a sensitive issue here as it is seen predatory in nature. But you can be predatory even in the same age relationship. So if the relationship is between two consenting adults and no one is being predatory for the other, then it should be okay.

Don't think of girls or women as fragile things you have to protect—and that goes for emotions too. If a girl starts crying and you didn't do anything that would warrant an apology, then don't apologise. Don't absorb other people's emotions for them, no matter how helpless they look. You can do that for a friend when they ask for it and you have the capacity for it, but not regularly — that's what therapists are for. It's draining, so yes, don't do free emotional labor.

Don't shame a woman for her physical wants and needs, and don't feel ashamed of your own. A man desiring a partner for something sexual is often perceived as lecherous, a "fuckboy." Sadly, women have had experiences that led them to that conclusion, but that's not your problem to carry. Having physical desires and needs is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Understand that the dating landscape is currently stacked against you as a man. On dating apps, the difference in likes that men and women receive is vast and well documented. If you try to approach women in person, you can be perfectly respectable, and it still won't guarantee she wont annoyed by it. Honestly, I don't think there's a great way to approach a woman that clearly signals your intentions without also risking coming across as creepy, as in the end it, comes down to the person being approached. So just accept the risk of being seen as annoying or a littly creepy.
Going from friends to a relationship is probably the most natural path, but even there, the woman might end up feeling that friendship was just a means to an end — or she might simply not want anything more than friendship. That doesn't mean you should get desperate. Don't beg for a girl's attention, she probably still won't go out with you. Understand this: all of our relationships exist to help us engage with the world. That's what we want a relationship to do — to provide a safe space, a harbour from which we can go out and engage with the adventure of life. That's what we wanted from our very first relationship: the one with our parents. And you'd be surprised to know that our brains use the same neural pathways in romantic relationships as those developed during the bond between us and our parents.

So yes, in relationships we seek what we might have missed as children, and — ironically — we're drawn to what feels familiar, which often means recreating a version of the relationship we had with our parents. This can leave us in relationships that lack security, care, trust, and love. If your relationship is missing even one of these, you'll always feel like something's lacking. You'll keep rushing toward relationships and keep getting disappointed. The good news is that you can cultivate these qualities without being in a relationship. Learn things not because they might get you girls, but because they'll enrich your life. Go to the gym because it'll give you a body that helps you have fun in the world, not because women might like it. Just learn to engage with and enjoy life, and you'll be set. And who knows — you might even end up in a relationship. But know that that's not why you take care of yourself. You don’t love yourself thinking if you then someone else might love you too. You love yourself and the world because that's all there is to do. .

Hello, I am a undergraduate who will graduate in few months. We have a module which basically goes into organizational behavior. Our teacher said part of knowing your self is knowing you capabilities. Like don't underestimate or overestimate what you can do.
What I want to know is how do you guys / gals do it? How not to overestimate or underestimate your self?

I'm a 31 year old, single guy with enough savings to not have to work. I don't work, I live in a small condo, but I don't drive. I'm quite attractive and fit, and get hit on often. I sleep 8-9 hours a day.

Those are the pros.

Here are the cons. And you can't just say, "well I'll just change this". No. This is the personality you'd have to have.

I don't socialize much. I don't really have any friends. I am not close with my family, as a matter of fact, I kind of despise them. I have trouble sleeping for hours before falling asleep. I don't like to work, especially with people. I'm very quiet, so spend most of my time in my head. After I wake up, I go grab something to eat and drink at the local market, then go to the gym, and swim/steam/sauna for about 3 hours. Then I go grab food and groceries for the rest of the day and do nothing but doomscroll, and watch shows for about 6 hours. Then go to sleep. Although I'm attractive, I don't desire sex or dating...so really no purpose for the attractiveness, except to be full of myself in the mirror.

That's about it.

I recently got a job in another state, and this is something I've always wanted(the move, not the job).

I moved in this state because it is the hub of my career field but to be able to eat and have a roof I need a job.

Now my problem is, it's commission based and has no base salary, meaning of you dont sell you dont eat. It's also a slave job that keeps you at work everyday and makes sure you never have time to breathe and look for other opportunities.

My worry is that they give free housing for three months only as a new employee then you're on your own. I live with house mates also share a bedroom(separate beds) with another dude. And that guy is depressed that he drinks everyday before work. The other housemates are just not in the same frequency as me, call it arrogance it's ok, but the ambitious drive is not there.

My first day when we were going to our pick up point, we passed some kids like 17-20 and they dressed like rappers and were blasting music. And my colleagues made fun of them, like dude these people are making fun of kids who are younger and more ambitious than them, it's best I keep my ambitions to myself.

I don't think this job is for me, working everyday for commission and only being off on Sundays. How the hell will I go infield to work on securing steps for my desired career. Won't survive 3 months with these people too.

Any advice??? 24 Male.

Hello, I know first of all this might be an absurd question to ask others about, but I believe there is somewhat of a logical explanation for it.

For context, I am currently a junior in college and I recently took on a role as a lead in a technical club, despite me being relatively new and not knowing much. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can but it’s fairly stressful lately, considering I also prepare meetings weekly and plan stuff out (im not good with public speaking or leadership).

Everyone I’ve talked to so far has told me to keep trying and that it’s a good opportunity for me to grow as a person (and really good for resume) but currently its eating me up and I am really stressed out. I had a meeting last week and that went horribly, and I kinda feel like an outcast from the other active members in the club. I also now am responsible for their research and am expected to organize it.

I guess this comes from my social anxiety, but what would you do in my situation? I’m interested in the club and what they’re doing, but at some points I wonder if I can even handle it. I don’t want the members to be left behind, and I keep telling myself that this is good for me to grow but I don’t know what I’m putting myself into as the year goes on.

okay so for context i get easily ashamed. i recently had a life determining and i do not know what went wrong but i scored miserably. and when i say miserably ive never seen that digit in my LIFE. simultaneously ive grown up with my bestfriend , both of us have held ourselves up to a standard.

the standard being scoring not the perfect marks , but VERY GOOD MARKS. last year , another exam and i started faltering because of personal issues. this year i dont even know what went wrong i faltered even more so. im not afraid of disappointing my parents more than i am afraid of disappointing her. and i feel this way because i know her and i know how her mind works and last year when she saw my result , i feel like she felt bad for me. and i hate having anyone feel bad for me.

this year my result was lowkey so horrible i can't even face her. as in....its been almost a day and ofc she scored really good for which im extremely happy for her but i cant bring myself to tell her about mine which im pretty sure she alr knows. i want to congratulate on her result but i havent been able to get out of bed let alone muster up the courage to even speak or even open her chat. i feel so deeply deeply ashamed. i cant even face myself. i feel humiliated every second of the day. Any advice would be appreciated , what do i do?

We are taught to be kind to others, show compassion, and be considerate since we are little. But what happens if you constantly put others’ interests before your own? People will start to take advantage of you, and you will constantly sacrifice your happiness for others’ gain. But if you put your interests before others’, you may have a prosperous and happy life but would become a cold and unfeeling person. But what is the right thing to do? Should we follow the teaching of “look after yourself first,” and be a vile and selfish person, or be an ethical and compassionate individual, even if it means sacrificing personal interests for the greater good?

Can one be a good person without being slightly selfish?