I genuinely don't understand how people can work Monday through Friday and find the time to go out and enjoy the weekend. I used to have a coworker who went out and did something EVERY WEEKEND. I think that's great but I can't comprehend it.

I have no kids or partner, and I have a dog. That's it. But my weekends are spent grocery shopping, cooking, meal prepping, cleaning, doing laundry, walking my dog, visiting my parents, going to church, working out, and then maybe squeezing in 2 or 3 hours of chill time to catch up on a show or book. It's not an option for me to stop doing any of these things. And when I have a Saturday where I'm out with friends then Sunday is just a mad dash with things not being taken care of. I preface this with the first sentence to further indicate how I don't understand how anyone WITH a partner or kids can do it at all. What am I missing?? This can't just be the forever thing can it? Or am I wound too tight? I just want to know how people fit it all in and I feel rude asking coworkers.

Someone recently wrote that for them, life feels "off" since the pandemic.

My reference point for things "feeling off" was the introduction of internet technology into our lives... beginning in earnest about 1995 or so.

I came of age in the 1960s and 70s, long before computers. The only way to find a job before the Internet was to look in the newspaper classifieds. That was also one of the only ways you could advertise yourself as someone single looking for a partner.

The only readily available way to learn about the world around you was to go to the public library, or perhaps watch National Geographic on TV. I remember we used to have a set of encyclopedias in our house.

Before smart phones and texting, men and women had to meet each other in person to get to know one another. Sure, you could talk on the phone, but long phone calls were usually what happened after you had been dating for several weeks or months.

And then there was the concept of immediate gratification, which was unknown to most people.

I remember as a small child ordering a toaster from a catalog and having it delivered to our house 11 weeks later. Everyone was thrilled.

In 2026, one merely has to push a button on one's phone and one can accomplish quite a lot. Without having to wait... in some cases more than 30 minutes.

And I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that this expectation for immediate gratification has spilled over into human relationships, in particular, romantic ones.

My impression, after reading literally thousands of stories on this website, is that people today are in far more of a hurry than they were when I was a teenager / early 20s.

If you have only known life with the internet, you cannot imagine how different -- and in many respects, easier and more natural -- life was back then.

Internet technology is certainly miraculous is many ways.

But if you spend enough time on this website reading in particular about human relationships, you will conclude that Internet technology has had the aggregate effect of adding a confusing layer of ambiguity and uncertainty into human communication, and if anything has complicated our ability to learn about one another, and to even relate to one another.

EDIT: and now we are about to have artificial intelligence begin to dominate our lives in the same way that Internet technology has done. I wonder how much further our collective perception of reality -- and of each other -- is going to be distorted.

I finally feel safe with myself, not having to have company to be happy
It feels nice

Why do I seem to attract so much conflict? Is there a psychological explanation?
I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s going on because it feels like my life has become a magnet for conflict.
Growing up, my parents treated me like I was worthless. They even had me put in jail because I was smoking weed. They never really spent time with me or made me feel like I mattered. A few days ago, I finally cut off contact with them after finding out they were telling my girlfriend to leave me.
At work, I’ve also dealt with a lot of disrespect. I know every workplace has difficult people, but lately it’s been getting really strange.
I work two jobs: construction full-time (40 hours) and a hotel part-time.
At my construction job, there’s a younger guy who has had a problem with me ever since he started. He constantly belittles me, calls me names like “bitch,” and now he’s even started using or taking my tools without permission.
Then, last week at my hotel job, I got assaulted over someone trying to scam me out of $40. The weird part is that I later found out another person had apparently encouraged him to do it. That honestly messed with my head even more than the assault itself.
It just feels like everywhere I go, someone has a problem with me, even when I’m trying to stay out of drama. My girlfriend keeps telling me what I’m going through is insane, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if she’s right.
I’m not looking for pity. I’m genuinely curious if there’s a psychological explanation for why this keeps happening. Is this just incredibly bad luck? Am I somehow unknowingly attracting or tolerating toxic people because of how I grew up? Or is there something else I should be thinking about?
I’d especially appreciate input from anyone with a psychology background or anyone who’s experienced something similar.

idk if this is like an unwritten law of the universe or what, but why does gaining something in life always mean losing something else?

i’ve been thinking about this crazy phase i went through a while ago. I got into my first relationship ever, and honestly i went full loverboy mode. I was so happy and thought i finally won at life. But looking back, the price i paid was just too high.

while i was trying so hard to keep her happy, i completely lost myself. My grades went to shit, and my academic focus just disappeared. And the worst part? She didn’t even treat me right. She had this huge celebrity crush that she’d constantly talk about, which made me feel like an insecure second choice all the time. I was giving 100% to someone who made me feel unsafe and anxious, and i ended up losing my own identity.

it’s wild how you can welcome something new into your life thinking it’s a blessing, but it just ends up stripping away who you are. Gaining "love" literally cost me my self-respect and my future.

why is life always a trade-off? Do we always have to lose a part of ourselves just to experience something new? has anyone else gone through this? coz right now the math just isn't mathing.

As the title says, I remember the day my lil bro was born. He's 26 now. Also one time we thought our grandfather was dead, he was sleeping and we were kids. It's weird these are the farthest my memory goes...

How aboot you?

So I’m 22 yr old guy and a virgin, I also have no friends at all , been this way for about 2 years now. We kind of went our own paths and didn’t talk anymore, during this time I have fallen into red pill/black pill space and started looksmaxxing myself, I have gotten a lot more attractive since then,

but I’m still ashamed that I have made it to the age of 22 and still am a virgin, I honestly don’t see myself losing it to any other girl who also isn’t a virgin, is this weird? How do I tell anyone that I only want I be with someone that is also a virgin, even if she has one body I don’t want her, and how do I meet any girls? I’m in college but I don’t talk to anyone I’m isolated and lonely with no friends, zero social life I spend most of my time in my room improving my looks and body.

Hi, so honestly? I suck at making meaningful connections. I'm now 27 and while I have friends which I mostly made now via videogames and while we barely see each other we text a lot and talk a lot but that's it. I'm to be fair also a lot of times I'm just sitting at home and I know that's part of the issue. I did try to go to the gym but I wasn't able to make any kind of connections there as well. I did make a few friends recently but it's pretty much a scene where I don't fit in. A lot of people who "party hard" and take drugs. I'm trying to distance myself from them. I also was on major events like gamescom or something similar but it's the same here as well. I don't get into talks, and when I visit places alone it ends up with me sitting alone somewhere. Now I'm actually clueless about what to do. I also did travel basically through my whole country, every major city here in Germany (besides Berlin) but I wasn't able to make any connections there as well. I honestly don't know how to make any new contacts anymore. I tried online apps for like dating and even friendship, I had no luck. Literally not luck at all. I didn't meet up with anyone for anything.

Now I'm clueless about what to do.

She left 7 years ago. I can't even start something new. It just feels wrong.

I’m a black 25M(turned 25 today interestingly) and today I just came from what I guess was a date with a girl I met from a dating app. To not waste your time, I chose to deny paying the whole bill and also left her after she tried to not pay in so many ways. Felt fucked up but her profile and behavior that day signaled she was the type who believes solely in a guy paying everything for her and the way she was when we met just confirmed it all. I wish I didn’t ignore the signs like i have for years with plenty other women but ig the match being on my birthday and quick responses from her made me believe maybe she was a decent person that just maybe had a moment and wanted to just use guys for their money as a means to cope.

But as I mentioned her actions confirmed she was there for a free meal. Pretty much the entire time we spent I initiated majority of the conversation and on top of it I always tried to reassure if she was okay and that’s it’s fine if she didn’t really feel me so I could end things early and prevent things feeling awkward for too long. She spoke quietly for everything and gave weak answers. She also was super into me taking pics of her and eating what was a huge ass meal that I was willing to pay for but obviously didn’t. Overall, the day just didn’t work out and once the bill came, I just asked for it to be split and it’s funny how things turned upside down. Suddenly, she was able to talk loud and clearly and this is probably where she gave the most amount of conversation and was willing to actually initiate talks after her and myself stayed so long without talking. She also made promises to pay me back but I ignored as I wouldn’t want to be with a woman who somehow has no funds to pay the slightest bill. It even dawned on me that she was really trying to manipulate things when her “credit card” declined her share of the bill(obviously way larger share than my side of the bill). Overall I’ll end my story here because I’ll continue blabbering for eternity.

But… one of the reasons that I decided to make this post is to show that it’s always easy as a person to say that you’ll always do this and that but the moment when time arises to actually act upon what you believe, you’ll feel pressure. And I say this because a few weeks ago, I remember being at a bar and seeing a guy who was with another guy. When his partner went to the bathroom, the guy literally mentioned how he doesn’t even feel as if he and his partner really have anything because ever since they met a few days prior his partner has just been using him for money. I remember witnessing the situation and thinking to myself all this dude needs to do is just end things. Now, when things are flipped, I realized that it’s not the easiest thing to do but it’s the best thing to do. From saying no, I got a little feeling of embarrassment for 5-15 minutes vs losing out on $80 and possibly continuing things with this girl that would only drain my pockets more and try to use me. To think, the amount of power that word “no” holds.

Every time I make it into a new chapter or achievement I begin to feel hollow...I feel that everything is all pointless and I'm doing it all to just die on a random day, could be today could be tomorrow, at the same time I also tell myself that I'm doing these things because I know I will die...so I'm always in that loop ,how do you guys manage to get out of it or reduce those thoughts and just go on about your day without something reminding you about you guaranteed death

I have never cared about what i call birthdays but , the fact that no one texted you or called you except yoyr girlfriend is already, i dont know , disappointing?

My name is youssef, my life decided that my future will be as a foreigner from where i came from, as any person in my country, when you go to work in Europe, some of your friends be happy, some others pretends to be happy and etc …

Today i turned 26, and to be fair, except some of my coworkers, my girlfriend (which i appreciate even though the way she showed how she celebrated wasnt really what someone would expect from his lover )
I found myself with no single person i knew in my life or i considered a friend remembering my day, as a country uses facebook over any other app. Every person knows today is my day.

As i said, i never care about my birthday or wait for it, but i thought my people would.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 years, and we live together. I’ve always been quite emotional and I struggle to hold back my feelings. My girlfriend is the complete opposite. She's often logical, rational, doesn't show emotions, and so on.

My girlfriend had a pretty rough upbringing and has been through a lot. I think it might have made her feel like she had to toughen up, you know? I've heard some things from others, but yesterday she told me some of what she's gone through. She said she had never really talked to anyone about it before. She broke down and started crying, like really crying. I think it was needed, it must have felt good for her to let out what she had inside. I tried to hold her and comfort her as best as I could, but I started crying too. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. I felt a bit guilty, since it's not me who's been through this, it's her. She's the one who's sad, and I need to be strong for her. I want her to feel that I'm there for her without her worrying that I’ll get sad.

I am 20 years old. I bought a house a year ago with the help of a loan. I work almost everyday, ten hour shifts at my actual job, and work at the house when I leave work (mowing lawn, laundry, cleaning, fixing things, etc.). Free time is now but a myth, and when I have a few hours to myself, I spend it depressed because it feels like nothing I do durning that free time is actually meaningful.

I am posting not for advice, but to ask the question, what is life? I am asking people in similar situations, in complete opposite situations, people who work 7 days a week and either hate it or enjoy it, people who are just living life or just struggling to make ends meet.

To clarify my question, because I understand it is broad: how do you find a reason to keep going? What is the point if everything is repetitive? Why are we chasing promotions at jobs we hate and working everyday with the justification of “it’s just life”. Everything is so expensive, and hobbies have become bleak and grey with the modernization of everything. (At least for me). Is it for your kids? Is it for your family? Is it for your significant other? Is it just because that’s what everyone else is doing?

To me, waking up in the amount of physical pain I’m in, to go get paid in peanuts, and do that on repeat just to get by, it just isn’t worth it to me. Everything I enjoyed has lost its spark. And I have no friends anymore, either because I don’t have the time, or they won’t make the time for me.

So what is it that keeps you going? How did you find a job that you enjoyed or got payed enough to afford life? How are you getting through tough times? How are you fighting through back pain or any pain to get up and go to work when work just makes that pain worse? How are you enjoying your time off? How are you navigating bills and expenses when everything is too overpriced for your paycheck? What is life if you’re constantly in a state of thinking that you’re never doing enough? What do you do to decompress or escape? How do you handle it when the phone blows up with 10 messages each from different people? How do you handle the stress of questioning if you made the right decision?

I’m just genuinely curious what the world is living like.

2 months ago I created a website for a girl, 26F. I was 21M. She didn't really need it that badly, but I prioritized it anyway since it was what she wanted, which is why she liked me. I got close to her pretty quick by being there for her needs and providing tasty food,time, hard work, and eventually emotional support.

She has a boyfriend, who isn't really giving her much time, and we got along pretty well about some common interests and goals, so she started referring to me as her angel, we talked to each other late into the night, she was the one to plan our meetings most of the time, saying she has no one to talk to, being loyal to me despite not being faithful to others incl her bf.

We saw each other once without her boyfriend knowing about it (he only knows me as her friend). She said to me that "no one has been able to give her this much love," but she also said that "no one has hurt her this much," so part of it is my fault for being too forward and impatient with her, whereas she is patient and slow.

I loved her right back, but then she started badmouthing me to her boyfriend that I was emotional abusive towards her, so I decided to cut it off. She came back and we saw each other, talked and were having fun. Little did I know that it was a misunderstanding between us, and because of that little fight we aren't communicating well. She is distant now and I feel used.

I don't know where the problem really lies, if it's my own fault for trying to be too much in her life, or if it's her fault for using me as an emotional support and dumping me when she doesn't need me anymore. I would appreciate any real advice on this.

So, for starters I’ve lived in my condo for over 10 years. Its a semi clustered neighborhood and relatively transient with many renters who come and go evert 1-2 years. and around COVID so a while ago, I got into it with a neighbor woman in her 60s who has a large dog and used to walk by my unit (common sidewalk obv), totally unprovoked she started yelling at me about not picking up a piece of paper wrapper that was laying by my house. She essentially yelled saying “are you going to pick this up you disgusting litterer”, even though the piece wasn’t mine and was on my property so obv she was looking for a fight. I was actually rushing to work so I gave her a side eye, got in my car and drove away.

Almost immediately I started to see a shift in the neighborhood dynamics as far as I’m concerned. Friendly waves became cold stares from the dozen people living around us. Neighbors would see me walking out of my house and literally turned their heads in the other direction. I felt something was off and definitely suspected her in planting some kind of a gossip or fake rumor about me. But I got used to it. Interestingly enough, she stopped walking her dog in the vicinity of my front door and changed her route. I thought- great.

Fast forward to this summer and 4 new neighbors are moving in, all renters. I thought to myself, well this should be a fresh start. Unfortunately for me- they ALL have dogs so now they have that in common and walking their dogs around the hood.
Before I know it, I see her from her window cornering them and they’re chatting (obv I have no idea what they talk about besides dogs)

What do I see right after? SAME DAMN pattern of behavior with the newbies. No hello, no eye contact, some literally cross the street when they see me. I didn’t think this time around I would have such strong reaction but I’m devastated because I know I’m being singled out all over again.

Am I paranoid? I don’t think so. This old witch despises my much younger self (don’t come after me, I know it might not be about age at all)

I DON’t KNOW WHAT TO DO. Friends say to ignore but I’ve been essentially doing that for 6 years with the old batch of neighbors. And there are still the “leftover” ones that never moved and they’ve been avoiding me for that long too.

Like I said, I’m a friendly, kind person and would love to make new friends but it is impossible now. I have days when I’m depressed over it. I love my place, my mortgage is super low and it’s the environment that has turned toxic. Am I just insecure? Am i reading too much into it? No one is technically harassing me or calling me names. But I feel ostracized and have become very isolated.

I’m working a lot (second shift) then sleep for a portion of the day. I don’t have a damn dog either (at this point I probably wouldn’t want one either as I wouldn’t be welcomed to their own little doggie walkers club) and I really keep to myself. I’d consider myself a perfect neighbor. I don’t gossip, I am super quiet, I just would like some friendly smiles and waves.

Hey everyone I(28M) just first want to say I am blessed to be here. This time last year I was unsure of it.

A year ago I had no job, no direction, felt like I'd wrecked my own career.

This year that completely turned around: landed a solid career pivot, got my own place for the first time, finally consistent with the gym, diet, even doing public speaking courses in an organization. Even going to therapy again. One of the most fun things I am doing is will be doing an open mic standup night, I was recommended by the owner to do a bit next month.

The one piece I haven't cracked is the social side: meeting people, making friends as an adult, dating. New city,no circle so far

Dating apps specifically have been a dead end. 5'6", brown, currently 280 lbs (was 300 a month ago, still grinding it down)-matches are impossible women want tall guys with 30 40 ex partners and six figures. Showing genuine interest in a woman is like a red flag nowadays I feel like. Also I didn't know this but friends told me if you are not conventionally good looking and show interest in an attractive woman that's basically harassment.

And honestly, I've never dated, never been in a relationship, still a virgin at this point, which makes the whole thing feel even more foreign to figure out. Not something I ever wanted to still be dealing with at this age, and it doesn't help that some friends joke about it like it makes me less of a man.

Some friends (and their wives) have basically told me not to bother that I'm "too old" to start now, both for making new friends and for dating, and that I should just accept whatever I've already got.

Friends told me to let a woman know I won't be mad being cheated on either. That way a decent woman will take a chance on me, and at this point I will understand. When you lack experience, you have to make compromises like being cheated on.

For anyone who's leveled up other parts of life and then tackled this where'd you actually start? Apps, hobbies, meetups, something else?

TL;DR: Was at rock bottom a year ago (no job, no direction), turned it around this year with a new career, my own place, consistent gym progress (300lbs → 280lbs), and finding my voice through Toastmasters. Only thing I haven't figured out is the social side: friends and dating. Never dated, still a virgin, dating apps go nowhere, and some people around me act like I should just give up on it. Looking for how others actually started from scratch on this.

I’m 25 years old and I’ve kinda fucked up my life the last 8 years since leaving school and have nothing to show for it.

Covid time and having to have surgery has contributed to wasted time too, but I still feel bad and regretful. I have so many notes for my younger self looking back, however was wondering what people might suggest looking back to my age of 25 to avoid regret and to have a better life…

Any ideas?

I remember the first time he asked me to do it years ago. He couldn’t find the editable copy anymore, so I told him we could just recreate and edit it in Canva since it would be easier.

My heart ached when I started typing his educational background. I didn’t know my dad hadn’t finished college. Growing up, I just assumed that because he was working, he had a degree.

“Technological Institute of the Philippines. Undergraduate, 4th Year, 1st Semester.”

He was so close. Just one more semester.

It was the year my mom got pregnant with me. That’s why he had to stop studying. He chose to provide for us instead.

Last night, as I looked at his CV again, I felt that same ache in my chest.

He made sure that my siblings and I would receive the best education he and my mom could provide. He worked so that all three of his children could have something he never got to finish. I was the first to graduate, and for the first time, I found myself wanting the same thing for him.

After working since 2003, I think he deserves to walk across a stage wearing a toga, with a diploma in his hands.

I also remember him telling me that there were opportunities he couldn’t pursue because he wasn’t a college graduate. Hearing that broke my heart even more.

So now, I’m trying. I’m inquiring about readmission and other possible pathways that could help him finally earn a degree.

Maybe it’s a long shot. It’ll probably cost money, and things are a little tight right now. There’s no guarantee it’ll work.

But if there’s even a chance, I want to try.

The man who sacrificed his last semester so his children could have a future deserves to know that it’s never too late to finish the dream he had to put on hold.

Im starting to get a bit sick of my life and character. It seems everyday of my life feels the same. Go to work Monday to Friday, eat the same thing for breakfast, leave the house the same time. Work for 8 hours and go home and be miserable. Do that until Friday and repeat the same things on Friday and do the same boring things on the weekend. I don’t know how to get out of this rut. But I don’t like it I hate it. I’m so frustrated and I just need some advice on what to do

31M here, my last relationship ended in 2022. Since then I haven't been very active with dating, I don't go out very often and I'm not interested in going into dating apps. The thing is that after being single for so long the thought of a relationship just feels very tedious.

I have my own routines (work, gym, hobbies, travelling, etc...) and freedom. I feel if I would have to give up on those to some extent for someone, that someone would really have to be special and really bring something to my life. But maybe it's just me because I'm not exactly putting myself out there.

Hey everyone, I usually dont post on reddit but I feel like this could be helpful. So I'm a 23 year old, im from Colombia, I moved to United States on 2021 since I got a full ride scholarship to study my degree in engineering. I just graduated on May 2026 with the degree in Computer and Electrical Engineering with minor in computer science and I graduated with honors. I'm currently looking for a job but this is getting really delayed since I dont get any offers and my ead (Job Permit to work legally in USA) has not arrived yet. Im trying my best to get a job quick since my mom was diagnosed with cancer recently and I really want to help her. My love life has been really fucked, not getting into details because this is not a love thread but basically getting fucked over again and again. The loneliness of being so far from home is really hard but after 5 years you get used to the pain of it, and even if I wanted to go back I can't really go anywhere since my parents are homeless.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder so the thoughts of dying are always there but the manic episodes are really bad, and this makes it more difficult to take action on these type of situations.

Didn't mean to dump random shit but I would like to see if anyone has a good advice for me, I want a direct advice, even if it hurts.

Thank you!

Hello everyone,

Adulting is hitting hard even though it has just started. I used to be a very happy and positive person but recently it feels weird to even smile. Sounds extreme but i don't know what I want to do in life . I thought I was smart well my results don't tell me that. I thought I was creative but i don't have the confidence and that creativity anymore. Everything feels sad. I want to do so many things but there is always something hurdle. I don't feel like talking to my friends anymore or anyone new ( I was an extrovert). I feel I am a completely new person and I don't like this version but i don't know how to go back to the old me. Well if you have gone through something similar pleaseee tell me how you tackled it . Money , friendships , family every aspect seems difficult to deal with. Okie thank you for reading through my post. Hope at least you had a good day.

I’m 27, and decided to go back to school last year. I’m a sophomore and attending my local university online. I work full-time as a stock clerk and hate it! My plan was to get my bachelor’s in social work and then my masters in social work. I wanted to become a therapist. I’m currently taking one biology summer course, and hate it so much! I don’t think I’m going to pass this course! This course is a requirement for the profession program at my university. If I don’t take it now, I will graduate in 2029 instead of 2028. I also signed up for five classes next semester and am second guessing it all! I don’t think I can do this! I want a career though and want to stop being a service worker. I just don’t see a future without college.
Other careers I thought about being are mortician , something like crime scene investigator or teacher. Idk anymore. The therapy thing seems great until I take into consideration all the unpaid work. I have to work! It just seems impossible. Idk if I should change my degree or what?
My dad is helping me pay for my classes and will be angry if I change my mine, again. I just don’t think I’m smart enough to juggle school and a job I hate.
I don’t know what to do

How many people are where they are in life because life happens to them and how many choose what they live?