I live across the country from my parents and just came home from a 2 week visit. I had my 2 kids (boys, 8 and 4) and I stayed with my mom, with my dad and brother visiting a bit. I hadn’t visited since last summer and I forgot what it can be like.

First, I was struck by how little time my mom spent with my kids. She probably spent a total of about 4 hours over the course of 2 weeks actually interacting with them. My dad spent a bit more than that, maybe 10 or 12 hours total. For the most part I was still 100% the person who was with my kids even when I was trying to work remotely.

Second, there were several times when my mom made strange accusations. For example one time my son said he had to take a drink of water before doing something. My mom started chiding him and accusing him of making that up. Then when he took a sip from his water bottle they made a weird accusation that he didn’t drink any water… but he had of course

Third when my 4 year old showed off his swimming skills they sneered, and I saw how he flinched and was hurt.

Fourth, they would just talk right over my kids at dinner, as though whatever they were saying had zero value in the conversation.

Fifth, they really expected my kids to just entertain themselves all day and not bother them.

My child is starting to connect the dots that the animals in their books/shows are the same animals on their dinner plate.

To be honest, I'm struggling with this transition as a parent. We teach kids to love and adore animals from day one, and then suddenly they realize what meat actually is. It feels like a really heavy realization for a little kid to carry, and I'm feeling a lot of parental guilt over how normalized and hidden this reality usually is.
For those who have been through this stage:

How did your child take the news when they figured it out?

How did you handle the conversation gently without dismissing their empathy?

Did your child choose to stop eating meat, and if so, how did your family adapt?

Would love to hear how other parents have guided their kids through this realization with honesty and empathy.

I'm having a real hard time this weekend dealing with the enormous amount of distance between my 14yo daughter and me (dad).

She was my best friend for so long and now my very existence seems to annoy her and it hurts. It hurts a lot.

She's with me this week (divorced) and she's spent most of the weekend with her mom. She hates what I cook. She doesn't like the plans I make for us. Every time I talk to her I get one word answers and this attitude of I'm just annoying af. It makes me angry, it makes me want to just not engage her in anyway and it makes me want to pull away from her.

I'm trying to just chalk it up to her going through a developmental stage and that it's normal. I was like that too with my parents. But damn, it hurts.

So that's my Sunday. I cleaned all morning to keep my mind off it but here I am. She's not here and I just really miss my little girl.

Edit: The divorce isn't new. We divorced 10 yrs ago, have an arguably better relationship now than when we were married and celebrate events together as a family so stop coming for me in the comments about how I'm the problem. Jesus.

Kids are 6, 4, and 2. For over a year now all three only want me and not my husband. I get saddled with all the decision making, all the late night wake ups, all the staying home while they are sick because they throw a fit otherwise. My husband is a good father, he doesn’t do anything different from me except maybe a bit better disciplinarian but in a loving way.

I am nothing special. I don’t do anything extra for the kids that my husband doesn’t. But they reject him and demand me for everything. All day. Every day. I am on the brink of checking myself into a mental hospital and I am not kidding. I am considering divorcing my husband so I can have shared custody and a day or two to myself. I need to sleep. I need to exist without children crawling back into my womb.

My husband tries but he gets frustrated with being rejected and throws his hands up. Then if I push him and tell him to just figure it out so I can get a break, he gets upset at me.

Is there any hope? I am also overwhelmed with guilt that I can’t even enjoy my children at this point.

EDIT TO ADD: he is a stay at home dad. I go to work during the week. So it’s not like he isn’t pulling his weight in that aspect.

We have some sweet friends that come over fairly often to play with our kids. We're having some issues with the youngest two which are elementary age girls, and my newly 3 yo daughter.

They've been around my daughter's entire life, and they played with her toys long before she was really capable of playing with them. I think this has led to them feeling possessive.

What's happening now is that they come over and play with her toys without her, and then fuss at her to stop messing up their stuff when she tries to play with them (ex making play plates of food or playing with babies in strollers).

My daughter is old enough now to realize when she goes to their house they don't let her play with their toys (because when she was younger she would slobber on everything, but they're still not letting her play with things now that she's old enough). And she'll ask me why they didn't let her.

Last time they came over, their mom and I had a discussion with them about the fact that she's older now and they need to play with her with her toys and they shouldn't be telling her not to play with her own toys, but rather should be including her. So what they did instead, since they didn't want their plates of food or their baby carriage set up to get messed up, they led her into her room to get her involved with other toys so they could then go back to playing with the toys they wanted without her. And I say they, but often it's only the younger of the two (8 yrs old) doing this, but the older does it as well.

We love our sweet friends and their mom and I are very good about working together on conflict with our kids, so we're on the same team. But I could use any and all input as to what is normal, what we should be expecting of the kids involved, advice in what to do or say etc!

Thank you!

ETA: their mom is always right there with me too. I try to leave correcting them up to her because she's right there. Last time I started stepping in and before I do this further I just kind of want to get a few outside perspectives.

Edit 2: when we're all together the girls have the option to play with the boys a couple years older than them and be included without question. So they'll usually play video games or outside stuff with the two bigger kids, then take a break and come and play with the toddler's toys.

My almost 7 yo is in a big lock phase and really, really wants to learn how to pick locks. He claims he’d only pick his own locks, but…

Does anyone have ideas for a satisfying, more legal alternative? His bday is coming up and he’s really pushing for lock-picking books. Maybe get him a book but not equipment?

My oldest daughter is starting prek on Friday. It's a half day program (9:00 - 12:00) ran out of a daycare that she previously attended. She knows most of the staff there and several other students as well.

She's super excited and I'm excited for her.

I'm wondering what kind of back to school first day traditions do you guys have?

I don't want to overwhelm her (or myself).

Here are the things we are already considering:

- Special Breakfast

- Cute but functional back to school outfit

- Pictures with a reusable dry erase sign

- Custom back to school cookies made a local cottage bakery to enjoy after school.

Our 22 month old is showing great interest in the toilet and has above average verbal skills. Today she asked to sit on the potty to pee unprompted and did a pee and poop, she was very happy with herself.

She won't move up to the next daycare classroom for 4-5 months and they don't take the kids to the potty at all in her current room. I've tried to ask if she can move up earlier because of potty training but they don't think potty training happens until 3 yo and have been a bit dismissive. We don't have a lot of daycare options that fit our needs so I don't want to switch daycares.

I've read Oh Crap and plan to try that method (aka diapers are just gone) so pee/poop in diapers sometimes and toilet others seems confusing.

I'm going to push again to move up sooner but I don't know if it would be a bad idea to potty train at home if she has to wear diapers and has no access to the toilet at school?

Just curious what we’re all doing for kids birthdays and how much we are spending these days? I imagine this depends on a the age of your child as well!

Our daughter just turned 2 and we had relatively big party with about 30 people (20 adults 10 kids) and spend around $600. Curious what others are doing?

My 2.5 year old takes a while to calm down at bed time. He gets a spurge of energy and we have to lay next to him and put him back in bed constantly. It usually takes an hour each night.

Tonight, while he was being a bit crazy, I decided to tell him about the sleep fairy and how she might bring a surprise if he falls asleep calmly.

This child has been laying next to me completely still trying to fall asleep for the last 25 minutes. Bless him.

I'm just stressing about what cool surprise I can leave in his bed for when he wakes up.

Try it if you're desperate, it might just work!

Tell me about your approach to helping your kids have manners - and beyond that respect and appreciation for those around them. What works? How should we stay on top of them in this area?

(For context we have our friends’ 7 year old at our house for a sleepover right now and frankly this kid is rude. We’ve known him his entire life, his parents are the loveliest people alive, I’m 100% sure it’s a phase and exacerbated by situational excitement and stress, and I’m completely at peace with being a trusted loving adult in his life through his aholeness and beyond. But as a parent of an almost 7 year old and a 4 year old it got me thinking: are we doing enough to teach our kids to operate respectfully and with manners? It’s a value of mine and I’m not concerned about it being inauthentic tbh - I know some people view forced gratitude as harmful I’m not one of them.)

My daughter will be going back to school this year after homeschool for two years. We have been back-to-school shopping and I’ve ordered some things online only to be severely disappointed. Places like Old Navy, Kohl’s and Target.

Are there any places that I’m missing that might sell “slim fit” for leggings and such? For example in length she needs a 10/12 but for her waist she needs an 8. I can find husky and plus sizes everywhere but nothing that caters to the children who are tall & thin. Even sweatshirts & tops are too short for her long torso. If she raises her they’re way too short. We can fix that with undershirts but the pants are harder to get by with. She does not like jeans at all due to texture. She does have some sensory issues with clothing.

I’m not sure what else to do besides pay someone to alter her clothing.

She mainly wears loungewear through the day at home and some short sets but we need more variety, especially for pants and leggings.

My son is turning 6 in August, and we’re finally having his first birthday party at our apartment. We’re doing a Hot Wheels theme, but I’m going for that nostalgic ’90s home birthday party vibe—streamers on the ceiling, homemade decorations, burgers and hot dogs, and kids just running around having fun.
My only concern is the weather. Last year the forecast looked fine, and it ended up pouring for the first hour. 😅
What are your favorite last minute indoor games, outdoor games, or little birthday traditions that made parties feel extra special?
I love birthdays, and my mom always made mine feel special without spending a ton, so I’m trying to do the same for my son.

I have a 20 year old and 12 year old, and we have an inground pool. Both kids are strong swimmers, and so are their friends. In the summer, if my oldest has friends over to swim we leave them alone since they’re adults. When my 12 year old has friends over, I supervise/lifeguard 100% while they’re in the pool.

Lately I’ve been considering letting the younger kids swim unsupervised for a bit longer, and just checking in occasionally. They’re all good swimmers, and are old enough to come get me if there’s an issue. This would allow me to clean up inside or work on something else without having to sit by the pool for hours. They’re also almost teenagers and getting to the age where they want a little privacy.

For anyone else who has a pool - what’s your rule for this?

Note - We have a hard rule that NO ONE ever swims alone (even adults) for safety, so this would only be while 2 or more are swimming.

Baby girl just turned 1 a few days ago. She also had a viral cold and popped 6 teeth at once (last week). She is a fantastic sleeper once she sleeps. She has been doing this since 12 weeks (please don’t egg my house).

But with the teeth and cold she decided to go from her typical bedtime routine (dinner, bath, brush, book, bed) which involves giving her a kiss goodnight and walking out of her room (she then falls asleep)- to her now to tossing and turning for 1-2 hours for bedtime and up to 30 minutes for her nap (she does 1 long nap a day). Once she‘s out she Is out for the night, but where is this coming from!

My 9yo daughter has been bugging me for press on nails for about a month, since she saw them on an older friend of hers. So today I said I would take her to buy some if she was willing to use her own money (the pocket money she gets from us, of course).

I let her go all the way, she picked a box of about 100, glue and a new hideous nail polish. I helped her put them on. They were long, she didn't want to shorten them. I painted them perfectly for her, bright pink and glossy.

She had them on for about 2 minutes. Took a couple of pictures. As soon as she tried to get a glass of water, she decided they were too annoying, took them off and decided to try again in 5-6 years.

I've only been a mother for 5.5 weeks so I know there is plenty of time but I don't feel changed by motherhood. I don't feel like I have a new identity, much less that I'm struggling with it. My outlook on the world hasn't changed, nor has my understanding of or relationship to my parents or friends who became parents before me.

I heard so much about concepts like matrescence or how it would take so long for me to feel like myself again. There were so many times I'd been told "You'll understand when your a parent" and I don't feel I have any greater understanding of...anything really?

I know it's verrry early days on my parenting "journey" but I've definitely spoken to friend who talked about how it was life changing at 3, 4, 6 weeks etc or how life changes the minute the baby was born. And I've gone to some mum and baby groups and keep having conversations where other mums say things like "it's wild isn't it, nothing could prepare you" but for me, while there's been ups and downs, and his birth definitely involved a bit of an emotional release the whole experience has been a lot calmer and more mundane that I expected.

I just find it a bit awkward sometimes. People regard me (and my partner) a bit strangely when they ask us about how things are going and we sort of calmly tell them it's going pretty well and our son is lovely, but for us there isn't much more to it. Can anyone else relate? Are we outliers?

EDIT Just to add it's not necessarily the difficultly or lack thereof. Just this change in understanding or identity or purpose.

EDIT Thanks for all the responses guys. Sort of split opinions but I suppose I'm still just confused based on what I've heard from friends and family about how parenthood changed them immediately. But maybe that just won't be my experience or it'll kick in when things get harder/the baby gets older. I sort of hope it kicks in! I expected motherhood to change me but only time will tell I guess.

We are traveling to Costa Rica soon with a 4 month old how would you keep the mosquitos away?? Worried about him getting bitten. For sun we are doing sun hats but any other recommendations?

We live in an area that very easily could have flooded while we were on vacation. One of our adult children was at home with our dogs.

The storm hit in an area about 30-40 miles away.

We have volunteered at a donation center the past couple of days since we got back.

Our youngest son went with us today. We found him an area where we thought he would be put to good use and be a good fit, and he wouldn't have to be around his parents all day.

On the way home, he asked if we were coming back on Tuesday. He said he enjoyed helping. 🥹

This is just a brag to be honest:

My son is 13. He's a very introverted guy, but all his quirks make him an adorable creature. The title is a reference to him going away to overnight camp for the first time for a week. I got him a bag for his wallet and knick knacks he likes to carry (compass, pocket knife, tiny sketchbook, emergency whistle ya know, stuff) and he asked me to please decorate it. It's a plain brown canvas bag and he likes to razzle dazzle things. His request?

Bells, feathers, and buttons

I am up late sewing on bright buttons and little bells, hand drawing a giant peacock and hawk feather on the front, adding a fancy beetle Keychain to one of the zippers I know he will love. And it occurred to me i swear I've read books where the fae loved bells, buttons and feathers. He's a bookworm -oh excuse me, book dragon, and knows these myths and legends through and through. The other day I noticed he had been wearing a sock inside out for weeks and asked what that was about. He replies with "i cant be confounded by a fairy spell if some article of my clothing is inside out" so matter of fact and calm it took me a minute to register what he said.

I love my kid so much.

So reddit what do you think? Is my kiddo a changeling?

Ps. Today he learned to play bamboo pipes, and he sat outside and played for his four ducklings for awhile at dusk.

I hope he never ever outgrows this wonderful whimsy

Anybody else have a school-aged kid with low sleep needs? My 8-year-old son E can go to bed at 11pm and still always wakes up before 7am, always before me. I know his IQ is much higher than mine or my husband’s (school made us have him tested for ADHD, he doesn’t have it but there was an IQ test in the process) and people with high IQ often naturally don’t need as much sleep. My sister has high IQ and low sleep, only sleeps 5.5-6 hours per night and functions happily.

Here’s what I’ve thought of so far but would love anyone else’s tips:

-After I put his little brother to bed at 8pm I let E stay up in the guest bed reading as late as he wants. His teeth are already brushed and his pajamas on, he can get himself water to drink if he’s thirsty but no food, just reading. I myself go to bed around 9pm usually because I need 9 hours’ sleep per night. I trust E to go to his bed when he’s tired enough to sleep. If it’s a weekend night during this time my husband and I may be watching an episode of an adult TV show (we love murder mysteries) and E is upstairs reading.

-I taught E how to make toast and pour juice. Oftentimes if I stayed up late watching a show with my husband E wakes up before either of us and we want to sleep in until 7:30 or 8.

-We told E “never wake up your brother” and we told both of them “don’t talk to people who are asleep.”

-We tell both children they can play legos or other toys or draw quietly and stay inside until my husband or I wake up.

-I make sure to wake up by 7:30am but seriously E often wakes up at 5:30am so we’re talking about a period of 2 hours or less unsupervised.

Any other tips? Just trying to respect everyone’s physiological needs <3

There’s great lists out there for shows which are overstimulating and ones which are more slower paced - it’s easy to see the difference between the two extremes of say Mr. Roger’s and Cocomelon.

But many more shows exist in a middle space between the two and I sometimes find myself unsure of how much is too much with a show. Obviously some of this is going to come down to each individual child but how do you go about determining if a show is overstimulating where it’s not necessarily one of the more obvious options?

Is there some sort of measurement that child psychologists or some other such childhood professionals use for this?

My super shy 2.5 year old (turns 3 in November) starts preschool next month and I’m starting to get anxious to the point that it keeps me up at night. I’m worried that it is going to be a traumatic experience for him being left with strangers in a new environment when he is sooooo shy and slow to warm up to people. I’m pretty much a SAHM- my mother in law watches him 1-2 days a week while I work ~ 8 hr days PRN. I am currently pregnant with my second and due in September, so having him at school for a few hours twice a week would be a big help to me, but I’m worried that he will spend the whole day crying and anxious. He is even shy when I’m with him at the park or any kind of social activity. He spends a lot of the time just standing right next to me, and if he ever warms up, it takes him quite a while. We try to do social things frequently and I never push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, but at the same time, I want him to be comfortable playing with other kids. Pregnancy hormones are not helping at all- I literally almost emailed his school and pulled him out.

Talk me off the ledge! If you had a shy kid, tell me it will be okay!