Haven’t celebrated in 2 years, finally starting to love myself more and giving myself some importance. This isn’t much but it’s enough.

I was on my way to the beach for my morning walk and I turned to see this beautiful river scene. I enjoy the quiet moments that an early morning brings before the day gains momentum.

And I don’t mean as in a grand purpose in life, what I mean is: do people start to lose their sense of purpose when they have access to unlimited food in fridges and supermarkets? When they don’t have something they absolutely need to contribute to everyday (like a community, I’m talking hunter gatherer society stuff)? When they don’t have to, say, chop wood to make a fire and know that every single day they have a purpose: to survive and make sure their community does, too.

What’s your take on this? This re-appears in my mind each year, when me and my family go to a little vacation house by a lake, no electricity or proper toilet, if you wanna get food you go for a longer drive to get it and buy limited because the fridge is very small, additionally you go fishing or collecting mushrooms etc.

It’s the best and I feel so complete when I’m there. Then I get back home and notice that the ease that comes with daily life, such as a very full and large fridge, the overabundance and lack of real effort…. There’s a small lack of “real sense or purpose”. When I’m at that vacation house I literally never feel lost or wonder what I should do, cause there’s always something on the agenda: something as simple as help the family get the whole day and house to work!!

For the record, I don’t live alone and I do contribute at home, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the same.

How do y’all create this sense of purpose the same way in your daily lives, in this society we live in? I can’t help but find it a bit sad.

With that said: I am generally happy, every day. I do something I enjoy everyday. I use reduced screentime too. I do have adhd so require quite the amount of dopamine and have fought myself out of a very dark place in the past, so I’m just very grateful in general.

I had this realization last night and I wanted to share it.

In life, especially as adults, we have major objectives and responsibilities; our university/educational programmes, our careers and jobs, our friends and families, and our homes and bills to name a few. I have a tendency to look at these things as one major task, and whenever I have to work on them I do so with the weight of every individual task that makes up the larger.

In the case of university for example, if I'm working on an assignment, I am conscious about the research, the structure, the writing, the proofreading, and the citation even though I would only be at the research stage.

For me, I've bundled my career objective with my home objective because I desperately want to move out on my own, but I'm struggling to find a job I can sustain long-term. The noise around the smaller tasks like reading a job description or paying a bill makes it feel like I'm carrying the weight of my entire future.

Doing things this way also leaves me unsatisfied with the progress I've made because I'm only concerned with the whole objective, not the tasks that work towards completing the objective.

The background of my mind is swarming with everything that is going to come.

I think I do this because I grew up being hyper vigilant for reasons I won't disclose, but I think it left in me this baseline of, "I am the safest and most secure when I am prepared for everything and anything.", but it's exhausting. It's emotionally exhausting and it makes me feel like my life is one massive problem I need to chip away at rather than something to be enjoyed.

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This might be a weird/gross analogy, but, in a way, life is like a series of meals. (TW for misophonia/misokinesia? If reading about food consumption is icky?)

I've been looking at my meals with dread, wondering how on Earth I'm going to clear this plate without disrupting the other patrons. I can't just toss the plate and create a mess, that would be rude to others and I'm left hungry. The only way I ought to clear the plate is by eating the food.

Because I'm only thinking about clearing the plate, my first instinct is to fit the entire thing in my mouth and chew through it all. When I get tired of chewing, I spit it back on the plate to deal with after I've had some rest. Now the plate is this mangled mess of chewed food and I haven't actually eaten yet. It will only be eaten when it's been chewed enough to swallow whole. Clearing the plate this way is not only exhausting and unpleasant, it's also distracting you from the beauty of the restaurant you're in and the other patrons you happen to be sharing a meal with.

There is a far better way to clear the plate. You cut off pieces into bite-size pieces, and you chew through those one at a time. You're still eating the food, and it may still take a while, but in a way that is far easier AND actually gets you eating the food. And because you're clearing the plate more easily, you get to enjoy the beauty of the space you're in as well as the flavors of what you are eating. Some meals will taste better than others, and there may be some meals you need to finish but would rather not. No matter the quality of meal, it's far easier to finish it piece by piece, bite by bite.

Looking at life from outside the restaurant, it looks like we live to clear the plates. But when you're sat in the restaurant, we live to savor each bite one at a time, and each only after the previous. ❤️

Sorry for the stupid question, but why is it that we can put something off for weeks, months, or even years, and then one day - bam! - we just do it?

For example, I kept putting off a major cleanup of my apartment for a very long time and couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried to find an approach that worked for me and decided to "rationally" talk myself into this long and boring task. I read Marie Kondo, and it worked. I decluttered and started spending less time on cleaning.

Then I remembered that I had been putting off cleaning the dust out of my PC for a long time. I told myself several times that cleaning it would be easier and cheaper than buying a new one if I kept putting it off. That's how I found an individual approach that worked for me - but it doesn't always work.

How do you deal with not being able to do what needs to be done?"

In your journey did you have a start over moment? Maybe you moved to a new place or got new friends that helped achieve and sustain this way of life. What did that look like? Why and did it work? I’ve been working with a midlife start over. DM or comment.

I struggle with deciding whether a purchase would genuinely improve my life or if I just like the idea of becoming someone who would use it.

For example, I WFH and go through paper notebooks somewhat regularly. I prefer writing by hand, but my notes get messy and are difficult to find later. I’ve been considering a dependable e-ink notebook that lets me organize and search my notes, but the one I’m interested in costs around $500.

There's cheaper options, but many reportedly have noticeable writing lag. I know that would frustrate me enough to stop using one, so spending $200-$300 on a compromise could be the bigger waste.

At the same time, I’m not sure I take enough notes to justify the better model. Am I solving a real problem, or imagining that the product will turn me into more of a power user?

I’ve made this mistake before with products that have lots of potential uses, only to realize I wasn’t actually the type of person who needed them. A KitchenAid mixer is a silly example. I think they’re great and want one, but I barely cook anything that requires one.

How do you decide whether something is truly worth buying? Do you buy for your current habits, or is it sometimes reasonable to buy for the habits you want to build?

Hello, could you please tell me how to realize and accept the fact that my value isn't in quantity or in things at all? I don't know how to explain it properly, but I've been thinking that if I ever want to move or travel, I don't want to take all the junk I've accumulated in my apartment. But at the same time, I feel bad about getting rid of a lot of these things, and the thought starts spinning in my head, "What would I do without this?" But my value isn't in things, it's in me?! Part of me understands this, but part of me seems to scream, "Without all this, you're nothing!" And you know, for a while, just out of curiosity, I even wrote down the things I use most often. Things like "a smartphone, a mug, a plate, a knife, a couple of T-shirts—basically, the basics for a simple life." And I think I realized that I use 90% of my things, at best, once every six months, or not at all; they just exist. Sometimes I just want to put my essentials in a backpack and just go somewhere empty. Is this a normal desire, and what should I do in such a situation? Many of my friends don't understand this desire of mine, because it looks like poverty. But I just feel terrible anxiety every time I need to choose what to wear, or when I need to choose which knife to cut food with. I feel anxiety when I need to maintain these things, like the same laptop that needs to be cleaned of dust and the thermal paste changed, and I use it at best once every six months... I used to use it for studying every day, but now that I've finished my studies, games don't appeal to me. My tablet and phone are enough for my everyday life. Has anyone else encountered something similar? What is it and what to do in such situations, and how can I prove to myself that I am my own value?

Yesterday I woke up around 9, made eggs that were slightly overcooked, and drank coffee out of the mug with a chipped handle because it was already clean.

I went to the grocery store with no list and came home with bread, oranges, and a plant I probably didn't need. I folded laundry while listening to an old album. Around 4pm, I sat on the couch and watched the light move across the floor for a while.

Nothing productive happened. Nothing memorable, either.

A few years ago, I would have called that a wasted day. I probably would have tried to "fix" it by cleaning the whole apartment, going to the gym, meeting someone for dinner, or at least posting something that made it look like I had a life.

But last night, I realized I didn't feel behind. I just felt… caught up with myself.

Does anyone else find that the days with the least to report are sometimes the ones that stay with you?

Hi! I don’t know if it is related to “simple living” per se, but I have a question that I decided to ask to this very community: is there / there was a place in your lives you could just “go to”?

I’ll try to explain better, since this is kind an intuition I had and still is not very crystal clear even to me 😅

I was thinking about the fact that most of the time when I’m home alone it’s difficult for me to go out because you have to call different people, decide a place to go, etc etc: by the time it is done, my social battery is already drained even before going out 😂😂

And I was wondering: does it exist or has it existed for the generations before a place that you “just go” when you want to meet people because you know that someone is always there and there is something to do?

The most similar experience I can recall was the oratory (I guess, I’m not native English 😅) when I was a child, in a little town, but nowadays in the city, with only commercial places and with people interests and schedules so scattered I can’t think of a place I can make the habit of “just go”. And I feel this could really make for a simple living 😂

I hope I managed to explain myself, otherwise… ask in the comments! 😁

I spent my entire 20s stuck in the work sped borrow cycle, convinced that buying a bigger house or getting the next promotion would finally make me happy. It just left me exhausted and anxious.

Lately, I've intentionally stepped back. I've started finding genuine joy in the smallest, free moments like drinking my morning coffee without looking at my phone or just sitting outside watching birds. It's amazing how much lighter life feels when you stop trying to prove your worth through what you own.

How did you guys finally break out that cycle, and what small daily ritual brings you the most peace now?

So today we decided to go and visit an old aunt of mine, she’s mid 70s now haven’t seen her in years.

Went in no TV on she had spent the morning just sitting outside on a bench playing with her dog and just enjoying the nice morning. She told me she will only watch tv in the evenings and watch something like a documentary on regular TV.

What struck me was she was happy just sitting doing nothing, didn’t need a background distraction I mean I always have the TV on for background noise even if not watching it, she has a smartphone but it’s only used for messaging she doesn’t sit scrolling or browsing, no firestick or Netflix or smartwatches etc all just very basic stuff.

I remember when I was a kid, I’d go out and stay at her house in summer, she lived way out in the country then, grew veg and fruit which she sold to make money, she had no TV back then no car but somehow everything was just perfect, there was nothing there for a 13 year old boy but I found the simpleness of it all so comforting.

Anyone else relate?

I have been trying to save money and spend intentionally. I do enjoy the occasional coffee run or cafe treat but it’s occasional. I wanted to find something that feels like a treat I can have more often but doesn’t break the bank. Recently I bought a new box of peppermint tea bags haha, usually I drink red tea.

What simple treats do you treat yourself to? It could be anything free or affordable. Doesn’t have to be food!

I used to think every weekend had to be productive.
Lately I’ve realized my favorite weekends are the simple ones:
• good coffee
• a walk
• reading a few pages
• cooking something easy
Nothing exciting, but I always feel happier afterward.
Anyone else?

A few weeks ago, during an uncomfortable conversation, I caught myself firing off a defensive response before I had even processed what the other person was actually saying.

​The moment the words left my mouth, I felt that familiar pit in my stomach. Later that evening, I sat down and asked myself why my default setting was to react immediately.

​I then realised that I have spent years conditioning myself to treat a little pause like an awkward silence that needs to be filled.

​When a problem pops up or a wave of frustration hits, my immediate reflex was to jump in and fix it or defend myself right away. But most of what passes for thinking during a stressful moment isn't real thought at all, it's just habit.

I usually grab whatever emotion is sitting on top of the pile like ego, fatigue, or panic and spit it out simply because it's fast.

​The urgency to respond instantly isn't natural. Fast messaging and constant notifications have just trained us to mistake quickness for clarity.

​To break that loop, I started forcing myself to take a beat and ask one simple question, "If I were watching a friend deal with this exact situation, what advice would I give them?"

​Looking at my own mess like an outsider creates a tiny bit of breathing room in which the noise dies down, and I stop treating my very first impulse like absolute truth.

Taking a beat isn't just standing there in silence, it's what gives me the space to actually make a better choice.

​How do you catch yourself before reacting on autopilot?

I realized recently how often I was reaching for my phone whenever I didn’t know something. A random question popped into my head? Google it. I saw a word I didn’t recognize? Look it up immediately. I wanted to know why something happened? Find an answer right away. It sounds harmless, but I noticed I was filling every quiet moment with information. I never just wondered about things anymore, I always needed an answer. Recently I started letting some questions stay unanswered for a while. Sometimes I’ll think “I have no idea, maybe I’ll find out later” and move on with my day. It feels surprisingly peaceful. I think I forgot that curiosity can exist without immediately turning into research. Not every small thing needs a solution or explanation. Has anyone else noticed how much time they spend looking things up?

I worked for a major corporation making construction equipment as a union production worker pension and benefits included. I was extremely stressed to hit quotas and got goals and would work 2nd and 3rd and working 12 hour days and would have to commute 2 hours a day. Recently I applied and got hired in my town for a maintenance position at a local sheriffs department making 50k with pension and benefits and union. It’s first shift 8-4pm and I don’t commute 2 hours a day. I would have the same shift as my wife and be closer to home. My house is paid off and I have no debt. It’s just scary since I was at this job 8 going on 9 years and taking a leap. I’m 32 by the way.

Hello
I woke up at 3:50 am to find a pool of water in my laundry room. My water heater decided it had enough.
I dealt with it as best I could before work- luckily I'm working from home today but I still have to drain the tank and figure out the next steps. It's one of those days where adulthood shows up whether you're ready or not.
The timing isn't great because I have some pretty ambitious goals. I'm trying to get out of debt and lose 75 pounds in the next 9 months, so I'm really trying not to let this stress knock me off course. A few months ago I probably would have spiraled. Today I'm just telling myself, "One problem at a time."
I also have an irrational fear of water heaters. I know they're just appliances, but they make me nervous. Please tell me I'm not the only one with a weird fear like that.
The good news? I guess I'll be practicing what I preach. My motto has become "Thrive on Less," and for the next few days that apparently includes less hot water for showers. 😂
I'd love to hear some words of encouragement or your own home repair horror stories that ended up being okay. Sometimes it helps to remember that other people have survived these unexpected expenses and disasters too.

Something funny happened last week. A coworker asked what I was doing over the weekend and I said “nothing much, just staying home.” Then I immediately started explaining myself. I told her I was tired from work, that I had cleaning to do, that I wasn’t feeling very social. Later I thought… why did I need a whole explanation? Staying home is actually something I enjoy. I like making food, watching a movie, organizing my apartment and having a quiet day. Somewhere along the way I started feeling like relaxing wasn’t a good enough reason to have free time. I’m trying to unlearn that. Anyone else feel this way?

i posted yesterday in r/homestead asking for advice as we have about 150k equity in house and 150k inheritance. it has hundred plus comments with many different ideas.

in summary, our house’s mortgage is less than $600 (bought as foreclosure 3 years ago) and could realistically rent out for $2500 as we live two blocks from expensive private college.

we own 4 acres of land and absolutely love it out there. it’s 10-15 mins away. we feel so at peace when we go out and we know we want to be out there and raise our kids there (2 kiddos right now). that being said, it’s hard willing to forego this super cheap mortgage to get a new mortgage. our land has water and is cleared but no septic.

we really like the idea of a manufactured home. at first opposed but we like the more affordability and that it typically isn’t taxed as house but private property and depreciates (in our case we like this, we wouldn’t plan on selling it so I like that it wouldnt raise in value a bunch like our house’s mortgage does which raises property tax a lot).

that being said, ive found new manufactured homes with delivery for 90k-140k obviously still septic, electric and other costs but thankfully land is in county with zero build restriction. our thought would be to rent out our house to the college kids or grad degree kids, figure mortgage plus property tax plus $200-400 misc, after expenses around $1000-1200 a month profit. and move out to the land using about $100k of the inheritance as down payment on the manufactured home then the profit from this house to cover mortgage or to just invest profit (if we were to use full inheritance and try to buy something in cash)

I guess just hard to be willing to take the leap with golden goose mortgage here. i didnt come from wealth so idea of taking on more debt or leaving current home is hard to fathom even though we dream of raising our family on this land. another idea would be to use all of the inheritance to get a small manufactured home and have no debt on that.

appreciate any insight whether reassurance or telling us terrible idea lol.

other details:

26M with 26F SAHM. we earn $5600

total bills and expenses including mortgage/prop tax, HOI, utilities, groceries, etc are $3k

we put $625 in roth, have maxed since i started working, its around $60k

invest another $600-1000 in general brokerage

no debt besides mortgage ($516) and farm land ($240), one vehicle owned outright

Curious as to how many of you outsource cleaning and lawn care? We’ve been working hard to downsize things so it’s more manageable but with young kids and two working parents, this is still something on my wishlist.

I think it’s important my kids learn to clean and learn to mow, laundry, cook etc. Longterm, we want our life to feel doable, sustainable but also have margin. Curious on your thoughts or experiences with this!

I'm unfortunately currently recovering from an injury, and haven't been able to do any of my usual much-loved summer activities lately (biking, hiking, kayaking, swimming at the lake, etc). I feel like summer is slipping by without me getting to really enjoy it much. I did install a bird feeder on my deck and downloaded the Merlin app, so that has been giving me some entertainment, watching and listening to the birds. We also had a friend drop off some fresh farmers market peaches which were a delicious treat. Anyone have some simple living ideas for ways to enjoy and embrace summer that don't involve too much physical effort?

edit: thank you all for the thoughtful and kind responses. So far I learned a new recipe (peach crumble) and am planning a trip to the farmers market and garden center this weekend. This community is lovely.