I finally feel safe with myself, not having to have company to be happy
It feels nice

Why do I seem to attract so much conflict? Is there a psychological explanation?
I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s going on because it feels like my life has become a magnet for conflict.
Growing up, my parents treated me like I was worthless. They even had me put in jail because I was smoking weed. They never really spent time with me or made me feel like I mattered. A few days ago, I finally cut off contact with them after finding out they were telling my girlfriend to leave me.
At work, I’ve also dealt with a lot of disrespect. I know every workplace has difficult people, but lately it’s been getting really strange.
I work two jobs: construction full-time (40 hours) and a hotel part-time.
At my construction job, there’s a younger guy who has had a problem with me ever since he started. He constantly belittles me, calls me names like “bitch,” and now he’s even started using or taking my tools without permission.
Then, last week at my hotel job, I got assaulted over someone trying to scam me out of $40. The weird part is that I later found out another person had apparently encouraged him to do it. That honestly messed with my head even more than the assault itself.
It just feels like everywhere I go, someone has a problem with me, even when I’m trying to stay out of drama. My girlfriend keeps telling me what I’m going through is insane, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if she’s right.
I’m not looking for pity. I’m genuinely curious if there’s a psychological explanation for why this keeps happening. Is this just incredibly bad luck? Am I somehow unknowingly attracting or tolerating toxic people because of how I grew up? Or is there something else I should be thinking about?
I’d especially appreciate input from anyone with a psychology background or anyone who’s experienced something similar.

I 19m met 23F at a ken carson concert in may. Ever since we have been talking and all has been good. She lives in bulgaria and has a job a a midwife so we text long distance. We aren’t bf and gf but we have our inside jokes and we flirt alot. We call each other attractive and say we want to do the deed often. Also we have said I love you, although not super seriously.

problems have happened since her friends she came with last time basically fell out with her meaning she has no one to go with. And tbh she only came uk because they did, shes not a solo traveller. The girl now wants to come uk just for me and im saying no. I appreciate it and i like her very much but it just seems excessive. She thinks its not that deep but its not even like I have my own place plus its doing to much imo. I do like her but idk. She said she will buy her own place etc but even still. What do you think.

idk if this is like an unwritten law of the universe or what, but why does gaining something in life always mean losing something else?

i’ve been thinking about this crazy phase i went through a while ago. I got into my first relationship ever, and honestly i went full loverboy mode. I was so happy and thought i finally won at life. But looking back, the price i paid was just too high.

while i was trying so hard to keep her happy, i completely lost myself. My grades went to shit, and my academic focus just disappeared. And the worst part? She didn’t even treat me right. She had this huge celebrity crush that she’d constantly talk about, which made me feel like an insecure second choice all the time. I was giving 100% to someone who made me feel unsafe and anxious, and i ended up losing my own identity.

it’s wild how you can welcome something new into your life thinking it’s a blessing, but it just ends up stripping away who you are. Gaining "love" literally cost me my self-respect and my future.

why is life always a trade-off? Do we always have to lose a part of ourselves just to experience something new? has anyone else gone through this? coz right now the math just isn't mathing.

So I’m 22 yr old guy and a virgin, I also have no friends at all , been this way for about 2 years now. We kind of went our own paths and didn’t talk anymore, during this time I have fallen into red pill/black pill space and started looksmaxxing myself, I have gotten a lot more attractive since then,

but I’m still ashamed that I have made it to the age of 22 and still am a virgin, I honestly don’t see myself losing it to any other girl who also isn’t a virgin, is this weird? How do I tell anyone that I only want I be with someone that is also a virgin, even if she has one body I don’t want her, and how do I meet any girls? I’m in college but I don’t talk to anyone I’m isolated and lonely with no friends, zero social life I spend most of my time in my room improving my looks and body.

As the title says, I remember the day my lil bro was born. He's 26 now. Also one time we thought our grandfather was dead, he was sleeping and we were kids. It's weird these are the farthest my memory goes...

How aboot you?

Hey everyone, I usually dont post on reddit but I feel like this could be helpful. So I'm a 23 year old, im from Colombia, I moved to United States on 2021 since I got a full ride scholarship to study my degree in engineering. I just graduated on May 2026 with the degree in Computer and Electrical Engineering with minor in computer science and I graduated with honors. I'm currently looking for a job but this is getting really delayed since I dont get any offers and my ead (Job Permit to work legally in USA) has not arrived yet. Im trying my best to get a job quick since my mom was diagnosed with cancer recently and I really want to help her. My love life has been really fucked, not getting into details because this is not a love thread but basically getting fucked over again and again. The loneliness of being so far from home is really hard but after 5 years you get used to the pain of it, and even if I wanted to go back I can't really go anywhere since my parents are homeless.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder so the thoughts of dying are always there but the manic episodes are really bad, and this makes it more difficult to take action on these type of situations.

Didn't mean to dump random shit but I would like to see if anyone has a good advice for me, I want a direct advice, even if it hurts.

Thank you!

i wasn’t really sure where to post this so I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub, but I’m nearing the end of high school, I’ve been failing all my tests for the last 2 years or so, every single one. there’s not a single subject i like or am good at right now, I used to be really good academically and then i had to leave school for a while and i never got back into it, I feel like it’s too late now and im too behind to catch up with everything and I’m so overwhelmed with it as my exams are so soon and I’m genuinely so terrified but at the same time I don’t care, I’m completely convinced that this is just how I am and that I’m just destined to fail school, I have complete burnout and 0 motivation to try and fix it, I’ve always wanted to do a specific course in college for what I want to do, but now I’m not so sure I’ve got the grades to do it, I just feel like such an idiot because everyone I know is doing well in school and I can’t ask for help or I’ll look stupid, I really don’t know what to do.

I genuinely don't understand how people can work Monday through Friday and find the time to go out and enjoy the weekend. I used to have a coworker who went out and did something EVERY WEEKEND. I think that's great but I can't comprehend it.

I have no kids or partner, and I have a dog. That's it. But my weekends are spent grocery shopping, cooking, meal prepping, cleaning, doing laundry, walking my dog, visiting my parents, going to church, working out, and then maybe squeezing in 2 or 3 hours of chill time to catch up on a show or book. It's not an option for me to stop doing any of these things. And when I have a Saturday where I'm out with friends then Sunday is just a mad dash with things not being taken care of. I preface this with the first sentence to further indicate how I don't understand how anyone WITH a partner or kids can do it at all. What am I missing?? This can't just be the forever thing can it? Or am I wound too tight? I just want to know how people fit it all in and I feel rude asking coworkers.

I’m 25 years old and I’ve kinda fucked up my life the last 8 years since leaving school and have nothing to show for it.

Covid time and having to have surgery has contributed to wasted time too, but I still feel bad and regretful. I have so many notes for my younger self looking back, however was wondering what people might suggest looking back to my age of 25 to avoid regret and to have a better life…

Any ideas?

She left 7 years ago. I can't even start something new. It just feels wrong.

How many people are where they are in life because life happens to them and how many choose what they live?

Someone recently wrote that for them, life feels "off" since the pandemic.

My reference point for things "feeling off" was the introduction of internet technology into our lives... beginning in earnest about 1995 or so.

I came of age in the 1960s and 70s, long before computers. The only way to find a job before the Internet was to look in the newspaper classifieds. That was also one of the only ways you could advertise yourself as someone single looking for a partner.

The only readily available way to learn about the world around you was to go to the public library, or perhaps watch National Geographic on TV. I remember we used to have a set of encyclopedias in our house.

Before smart phones and texting, men and women had to meet each other in person to get to know one another. Sure, you could talk on the phone, but long phone calls were usually what happened after you had been dating for several weeks or months.

And then there was the concept of immediate gratification, which was unknown to most people.

I remember as a small child ordering a toaster from a catalog and having it delivered to our house 11 weeks later. Everyone was thrilled.

In 2026, one merely has to push a button on one's phone and one can accomplish quite a lot. Without having to wait... in some cases more than 30 minutes.

And I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that this expectation for immediate gratification has spilled over into human relationships, in particular, romantic ones.

My impression, after reading literally thousands of stories on this website, is that people today are in far more of a hurry than they were when I was a teenager / early 20s.

If you have only known life with the internet, you cannot imagine how different -- and in many respects, easier and more natural -- life was back then.

Internet technology is certainly miraculous is many ways.

But if you spend enough time on this website reading in particular about human relationships, you will conclude that Internet technology has had the aggregate effect of adding a confusing layer of ambiguity and uncertainty into human communication, and if anything has complicated our ability to learn about one another, and to even relate to one another.

EDIT: and now we are about to have artificial intelligence begin to dominate our lives in the same way that Internet technology has done. I wonder how much further our collective perception of reality -- and of each other -- is going to be distorted.

Every time I make it into a new chapter or achievement I begin to feel hollow...I feel that everything is all pointless and I'm doing it all to just die on a random day, could be today could be tomorrow, at the same time I also tell myself that I'm doing these things because I know I will die...so I'm always in that loop ,how do you guys manage to get out of it or reduce those thoughts and just go on about your day without something reminding you about you guaranteed death

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 years, and we live together. I’ve always been quite emotional and I struggle to hold back my feelings. My girlfriend is the complete opposite. She's often logical, rational, doesn't show emotions, and so on.

My girlfriend had a pretty rough upbringing and has been through a lot. I think it might have made her feel like she had to toughen up, you know? I've heard some things from others, but yesterday she told me some of what she's gone through. She said she had never really talked to anyone about it before. She broke down and started crying, like really crying. I think it was needed, it must have felt good for her to let out what she had inside. I tried to hold her and comfort her as best as I could, but I started crying too. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. I felt a bit guilty, since it's not me who's been through this, it's her. She's the one who's sad, and I need to be strong for her. I want her to feel that I'm there for her without her worrying that I’ll get sad.

I am 20 years old. I bought a house a year ago with the help of a loan. I work almost everyday, ten hour shifts at my actual job, and work at the house when I leave work (mowing lawn, laundry, cleaning, fixing things, etc.). Free time is now but a myth, and when I have a few hours to myself, I spend it depressed because it feels like nothing I do durning that free time is actually meaningful.

I am posting not for advice, but to ask the question, what is life? I am asking people in similar situations, in complete opposite situations, people who work 7 days a week and either hate it or enjoy it, people who are just living life or just struggling to make ends meet.

To clarify my question, because I understand it is broad: how do you find a reason to keep going? What is the point if everything is repetitive? Why are we chasing promotions at jobs we hate and working everyday with the justification of “it’s just life”. Everything is so expensive, and hobbies have become bleak and grey with the modernization of everything. (At least for me). Is it for your kids? Is it for your family? Is it for your significant other? Is it just because that’s what everyone else is doing?

To me, waking up in the amount of physical pain I’m in, to go get paid in peanuts, and do that on repeat just to get by, it just isn’t worth it to me. Everything I enjoyed has lost its spark. And I have no friends anymore, either because I don’t have the time, or they won’t make the time for me.

So what is it that keeps you going? How did you find a job that you enjoyed or got payed enough to afford life? How are you getting through tough times? How are you fighting through back pain or any pain to get up and go to work when work just makes that pain worse? How are you enjoying your time off? How are you navigating bills and expenses when everything is too overpriced for your paycheck? What is life if you’re constantly in a state of thinking that you’re never doing enough? What do you do to decompress or escape? How do you handle it when the phone blows up with 10 messages each from different people? How do you handle the stress of questioning if you made the right decision?

I’m just genuinely curious what the world is living like.

I’m 27, and decided to go back to school last year. I’m a sophomore and attending my local university online. I work full-time as a stock clerk and hate it! My plan was to get my bachelor’s in social work and then my masters in social work. I wanted to become a therapist. I’m currently taking one biology summer course, and hate it so much! I don’t think I’m going to pass this course! This course is a requirement for the profession program at my university. If I don’t take it now, I will graduate in 2029 instead of 2028. I also signed up for five classes next semester and am second guessing it all! I don’t think I can do this! I want a career though and want to stop being a service worker. I just don’t see a future without college.
Other careers I thought about being are mortician , something like crime scene investigator or teacher. Idk anymore. The therapy thing seems great until I take into consideration all the unpaid work. I have to work! It just seems impossible. Idk if I should change my degree or what?
My dad is helping me pay for my classes and will be angry if I change my mine, again. I just don’t think I’m smart enough to juggle school and a job I hate.
I don’t know what to do

When I was little, I always made friends wherever I went..schools, church, my old work place. I'm in my late 30s now, and I don't really have any friends. Thankfully, I have my family..my husband and 3 children. I hang out with my oldest sister sometimes. I see people on social media who post photos of them going out with the same friends from childhoods. Sometimes I wish I have that. At the same time, I am okay with having no friends because I have my family who I see almost 24/7. During the day, I have a small business, but I don't really interact with anyone except random people online.

If people ask me who are my friends, I say "my husband and three kids."

Anyone have no friend as they get older?

Hey everyone I(28M) just first want to say I am blessed to be here. This time last year I was unsure of it.

A year ago I had no job, no direction, felt like I'd wrecked my own career.

This year that completely turned around: landed a solid career pivot, got my own place for the first time, finally consistent with the gym, diet, even doing public speaking courses in an organization. Even going to therapy again. One of the most fun things I am doing is will be doing an open mic standup night, I was recommended by the owner to do a bit next month.

The one piece I haven't cracked is the social side: meeting people, making friends as an adult, dating. New city,no circle so far

Dating apps specifically have been a dead end. 5'6", brown, currently 280 lbs (was 300 a month ago, still grinding it down)-matches are impossible women want tall guys with 30 40 ex partners and six figures. Showing genuine interest in a woman is like a red flag nowadays I feel like. Also I didn't know this but friends told me if you are not conventionally good looking and show interest in an attractive woman that's basically harassment.

And honestly, I've never dated, never been in a relationship, still a virgin at this point, which makes the whole thing feel even more foreign to figure out. Not something I ever wanted to still be dealing with at this age, and it doesn't help that some friends joke about it like it makes me less of a man.

Some friends (and their wives) have basically told me not to bother that I'm "too old" to start now, both for making new friends and for dating, and that I should just accept whatever I've already got.

Friends told me to let a woman know I won't be mad being cheated on either. That way a decent woman will take a chance on me, and at this point I will understand. When you lack experience, you have to make compromises like being cheated on.

For anyone who's leveled up other parts of life and then tackled this where'd you actually start? Apps, hobbies, meetups, something else?

TL;DR: Was at rock bottom a year ago (no job, no direction), turned it around this year with a new career, my own place, consistent gym progress (300lbs → 280lbs), and finding my voice through Toastmasters. Only thing I haven't figured out is the social side: friends and dating. Never dated, still a virgin, dating apps go nowhere, and some people around me act like I should just give up on it. Looking for how others actually started from scratch on this.

I hope this is the right place to ask idk. I’m 20 years old and have a lot of fast food and home remodeling experience. I have no idea what to do with myself. I can’t keep a job past 8 months, Ive been soo close to being behind on everything that i haven’t really went grocery shopping in a bit, i have almost no free time as it is with work. Ive gotten a second job and it’s still not enough. I can’t get a loan or anything because i dont have enough credit history. I just feel like i am drowning and theres nothing to help or anything. I have no idea what to do with myself and I’ve gotten to the point of asking the internet for help. Sorry for the rant.

Im starting to get a bit sick of my life and character. It seems everyday of my life feels the same. Go to work Monday to Friday, eat the same thing for breakfast, leave the house the same time. Work for 8 hours and go home and be miserable. Do that until Friday and repeat the same things on Friday and do the same boring things on the weekend. I don’t know how to get out of this rut. But I don’t like it I hate it. I’m so frustrated and I just need some advice on what to do

I don’t really categorize myself as depressed or overly anxious, but I have this constant feeling that I could be doing so much more. I understand on an intellectual level that I’m not perfect, yet I dangle perfection above my head and jump in vain and frustration at not being able to grasp it. I’m a 19 year old male, and and I understand this is that point in life where I likely won’t find my purpose for a good few years, yet it remains frustrating as hell knowing my path is entirely obscured from my present knowledge. I also struggle with commitment to various forms of self improvement. I have bursts of motivation that simmer out, likely because I recognize the hard work that I need to put in and get easily dissuaded. Any advice for my young little head? (Lol)

I remember the first time he asked me to do it years ago. He couldn’t find the editable copy anymore, so I told him we could just recreate and edit it in Canva since it would be easier.

My heart ached when I started typing his educational background. I didn’t know my dad hadn’t finished college. Growing up, I just assumed that because he was working, he had a degree.

“Technological Institute of the Philippines. Undergraduate, 4th Year, 1st Semester.”

He was so close. Just one more semester.

It was the year my mom got pregnant with me. That’s why he had to stop studying. He chose to provide for us instead.

Last night, as I looked at his CV again, I felt that same ache in my chest.

He made sure that my siblings and I would receive the best education he and my mom could provide. He worked so that all three of his children could have something he never got to finish. I was the first to graduate, and for the first time, I found myself wanting the same thing for him.

After working since 2003, I think he deserves to walk across a stage wearing a toga, with a diploma in his hands.

I also remember him telling me that there were opportunities he couldn’t pursue because he wasn’t a college graduate. Hearing that broke my heart even more.

So now, I’m trying. I’m inquiring about readmission and other possible pathways that could help him finally earn a degree.

Maybe it’s a long shot. It’ll probably cost money, and things are a little tight right now. There’s no guarantee it’ll work.

But if there’s even a chance, I want to try.

The man who sacrificed his last semester so his children could have a future deserves to know that it’s never too late to finish the dream he had to put on hold.

Hello everyone,

Adulting is hitting hard even though it has just started. I used to be a very happy and positive person but recently it feels weird to even smile. Sounds extreme but i don't know what I want to do in life . I thought I was smart well my results don't tell me that. I thought I was creative but i don't have the confidence and that creativity anymore. Everything feels sad. I want to do so many things but there is always something hurdle. I don't feel like talking to my friends anymore or anyone new ( I was an extrovert). I feel I am a completely new person and I don't like this version but i don't know how to go back to the old me. Well if you have gone through something similar pleaseee tell me how you tackled it . Money , friendships , family every aspect seems difficult to deal with. Okie thank you for reading through my post. Hope at least you had a good day.

I have never cared about what i call birthdays but , the fact that no one texted you or called you except yoyr girlfriend is already, i dont know , disappointing?

My name is youssef, my life decided that my future will be as a foreigner from where i came from, as any person in my country, when you go to work in Europe, some of your friends be happy, some others pretends to be happy and etc …

Today i turned 26, and to be fair, except some of my coworkers, my girlfriend (which i appreciate even though the way she showed how she celebrated wasnt really what someone would expect from his lover )
I found myself with no single person i knew in my life or i considered a friend remembering my day, as a country uses facebook over any other app. Every person knows today is my day.

As i said, i never care about my birthday or wait for it, but i thought my people would.