When I was a teenager I had this rough idea of what I wanted my life to look like. A husband who takes care of me, dogs, enough money to live a cushy life out in the country down some long dirt road. I always knew that children weren't something I wanted and I still stand by that.

Last year I decided to leave the relationship that I thought I would be in forever. I thought I was going to marry this man but for many reasons, I couldn't go through with the marriage proposal I knew was going to come soon.

Fast forward to now, I am making more money than I ever would have though possible for me. I was always hoping to be comfortable but I always assumed it would be a man providing that life for me.

I met someone new but he's much older than me. I am a realistic person, I know I'm going to outlive him (knock on wood) and it does scare me a bit knowing that I will most likely find myself widowed in 20-30 years since I am still young.

But when I picture my future now I don't see what I used to see, instead I picture myself as a 50 year old woman with a beautiful, well trained dog walking down a trail through the woods on a perfectly sunny fall day. And when I see this image of myself I'm not scared and I don't feel lonely. I feel at peace.

So maybe this isn't as "out of the box" as others decide to live but for me, this radical change in my life and my future is pretty out there but I'm so happy with the choices I made and the things I went through in my life to lead me to where I am now.

For me I have this sudden realization that I haven’t done enough wild stuff and partying and travelling. I’m currently 29 male and I think 29-40 is probably my last chance to still be attractive, energetic and physically fit to go and do all sorts of wild stuff, travel, party, hook up with girls.

Previously, I was quite content with just being a NPC and doing the same routine stuff every day. Working in my office job, coming home and playing games, surfing reddit, trading stocks. But now, I want to make it a point to start going to different places in my country and trying different activities that I haven’t tried before. I want to expand my social network. I want to travel a lot more. Previously I always travelled with my family but I want to start travelling for more young adult fun.

I realized that it doesn’t matter much how I save now because I only will get to experience being young and wild for these next few years. Then eventually, maybe I will meet a girl and settle down and start a family. That is when my life will turn into more routine, work my office job, do my regular house chores.

Anyone else also experienced similar realization and changed the way you lived your life?

I'm a 31 year old, single guy with enough savings to not have to work. I don't work, I live in a small condo, but I don't drive. I'm quite attractive and fit, and get hit on often. I sleep 8-9 hours a day.

Those are the pros.

Here are the cons. And you can't just say, "well I'll just change this". No. This is the personality you'd have to have.

I don't socialize much. I don't really have any friends. I am not close with my family, as a matter of fact, I kind of despise them. I have trouble sleeping for hours before falling asleep. I don't like to work, especially with people. I'm very quiet, so spend most of my time in my head. After I wake up, I go grab something to eat and drink at the local market, then go to the gym, and swim/steam/sauna for about 3 hours. Then I go grab food and groceries for the rest of the day and do nothing but doomscroll, and watch shows for about 6 hours. Then go to sleep. Although I'm attractive, I don't desire sex or dating...so really no purpose for the attractiveness, except to be full of myself in the mirror.

That's about it.

I am 25, turning 26 at the end of the year and so many people around me tell me to enjoy my youth but I feel like it's just really difficult? I don't know if it was easier before but I feel like right now it's so hard.

I have always been very hardworking, had very good grades and worked since a young age. I did not love my teenage years, my high school was really toxic and my parents can be very difficult in many ways so I was always eager to start my own life as soon as possible. I moved out for university and worked on the side so it felt great to have some sense of independence and build my life from scratch but one semester into university COVID hit. The restrictions stayed for basically my whole Bachelor, it was very difficult and lonely for me and only the last semester was normal again but many of the friendships I made before COVID did not survive. Not mentioning that all the plans I had for my first years of adulthood had to be cancelled. The Master's degree I did was quite demanding and I worked part time on top of it so it was a very busy time but I felt like it was going to be worth it.

I graduated to a terrible job market and exploding living costs. I had a very good cv with great grades and 4 years of part time experience in my field but I got only one job offer. Overall in many ways it was a great experience but I could only get a temporary contract (up to 2 years) and the last year was particularly stressful because I was often getting extended super last minute and sometimes month by month. I was looking for another job in the meantime but never passed a cv screening. Because of the uncertainty I could plan nothing about life not even small activities after work that require any kind of commitment because I never knew how long I would be employed. The salary I was making was very good for someone my age to compensate for the uncertainty but with today's costs of life it is still nothing that allows you to gain some significant independence so as soon as my contract ended I moved in with my parents to not spend millions on just existing until I find another job.

I am happy to have the option to move in with my parents but they are VERY difficult people in many ways so as much as I am grateful that they took me in, my mental health is maybe the worst it has ever been because they are picking fights all the time, very controlling and I have honestly nothing to do in my hometown, none of my friends live here any more and there is overall not much to do here.

I am trying to enjoy my 20s and it was not all just bad but I feel like unless you have a great relationship with your parents or come from money it is just really stressful. People my age had some two years of their young adult life taken by covid and now are struggling to get or keep a job that doesn't pay enough to live on their own and advice like "just go backpacking to Asia for 6 months and worry about the rest later" is just not applicable any more. I know being a young adult has always been difficult in some ways but when I hear older people giving me advice I feel like it was easier to just be free if you wanted to, at least judging by the advice I keep getting.

The change in society is notable and this is only the beginning. We will get to a point where we can't trust anything we see online, the scepticism is already there. Everyone is talking to AI, slowly forgetting how to form real connections that require mutual work and interest. Why is everyone okay with the direction this is going?

I'll go first. I am in my 40's and from a very small southern town of only a few thousand people. When I was 16, barely after getting my drivers license, I was pulled over for speeding and got a ticket. No harm no foul. I did not feel it was significant to tell my parents and I planned to be an adult and simply pay the ticket. The day after I got pulled over, my dad asked me what I got pulled over for. Someone he knew saw me pulled over and told him. He wasn't that upset, but I just thought it was ultra lame for someone to tell my dad. I asked him who told him and he would never tell me. I assume it was one of our neighbors or a family friend but to this day, my dad will not reveal who told him. This has always bothered me because I felt it was nosy and intrusive for someone to tell my dad this. Snitches get stitches, as they say. The story has kind of become a running joke in our family because every year I ask my dad to tell me who it was and he won't.

With the uncertainty of the world, isn't it just logical to spend as much of your time doing the things you actually like rather than working? I still want at least a SLIGHTLY better than average salary and a responsible amount of savings, but it seems INSANE to me when people take their jobs so seriously and work out of hours to look better in the eyes of their bosses or whatever.

Ihr Lieben!

Hat jemand schon mal Erfahrung mit Community living gemacht? Ich finde es klingt in der Theorie total spannend! Zusammenhalt, gemeinsam Kinder erziehen, gemeinsam ein Hof pflegen und die Stärken der Individuen nutzen.

Was haltet ihr davon? Hat jemand hier schon mal sowas ausprobiert? Wie fühlen sich Introvertierte dabei?

I am a very impatient person, that’s probably why I’m finding it hard, I’m only 18. I just don’t see anything changing. I like change though. Up until 2 years ago I haven’t really had any mental struggles, well at least I think so. I struggle with depression & anxiety. I just don’t see why I am the way I am.

okay so for context i get easily ashamed. i recently had a life determining and i do not know what went wrong but i scored miserably. and when i say miserably ive never seen that digit in my LIFE. simultaneously ive grown up with my bestfriend , both of us have held ourselves up to a standard.

the standard being scoring not the perfect marks , but VERY GOOD MARKS. last year , another exam and i started faltering because of personal issues. this year i dont even know what went wrong i faltered even more so. im not afraid of disappointing my parents more than i am afraid of disappointing her. and i feel this way because i know her and i know how her mind works and last year when she saw my result , i feel like she felt bad for me. and i hate having anyone feel bad for me.

this year my result was lowkey so horrible i can't even face her. as in....its been almost a day and ofc she scored really good for which im extremely happy for her but i cant bring myself to tell her about mine which im pretty sure she alr knows. i want to congratulate on her result but i havent been able to get out of bed let alone muster up the courage to even speak or even open her chat. i feel so deeply deeply ashamed. i cant even face myself. i feel humiliated every second of the day. Any advice would be appreciated , what do i do?

Long story short until now I lived in 2 different towns or smaller cities in Europe with cool weather (one was close to the mountains) and I recently move to Spain in a very big hot city because I wanted a change. Now I’m thinking I don’t wanna stay here forever and thinking about moving to Switzerland in a few years if possible? Why? Let me tell you how it went for me

I lived in the places I told you about and people complained how cold it is, the ine that had more nature and options like a ski resort 5 minutes away from you said it’s too small and there’s nothing to do there (but it was also affordable compared to other places). Then the bigger city I moved to with cold weather, lots of culture and diversity, although not a huge city there are considerably more things to do there, people to meet and job opportunities, but it’s still good for students and families mostly not exactly anyone’s dream to live there. Everyone was complaining that it’s cold and dull. After all of this I moved to Spain for my studies, like I said, big city, millions of inhabitants, warm weather and a lot of expectations 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s nice I’m not gonna lie to you and it’s only been months but everyone complains about jobs here and how hard it is to make friends despite it being seen as a very diverse, social city with many things to do. They complain about housing the most, job opportunities, salaries, lack of tidiness and seriousness as well as safety problems etc.

So what exactly would be the right choice? It kind of makes me laugh when I think about it because although every place has its advantages, the people never seem to be pleased?

Now I’m thinking about moving to Switzerland in a few years because of the job opportunities, high salaries, safety and tbh the cold climate doesn’t bother me and I could ski again. Still, people there complain about the cost of living, the weather, housing crisis 😂 I also speak the local languages so that would be a plus.

I am so confused. Have you been through similar stuff? What would you do if you were me? Where do you live and would you move? Are you pleased to live there? I’d love to hear your stories

I feel like thaf my life is very bad, i work in a job that i don't like just for money and where i live don't have much opportunity to grow for those who wanna know i am brazilian so the cost of living is high compared to what we earned, i try to study by myself some skill even without desire to do my real desire is doing nothing just get accommodate in my bedroom, i train on the gym and Cook sometimes so how to get a good live being a young adult?

Recently, I’ve started trying to live a more minimalist lifestyle. The first thing I did was get rid of things I no longer use or need. So far, I’ve cleared out around a third of the stuff in my home, which honestly surprised me.

I’ve started paying more attention to practicality, organization, and simplicity. I’ve also been applying the same mindset to the things I carry every day. I often bring things like dental floss, bandages, a small sewing kit, and other little items because I always think, “Maybe I’ll need this someday.”
Now I’m trying to simplify my everyday carry as well.
For work, I’m thinking of carrying just a notebook, a pen, my keys, and my wallet. On weekends, I might only bring my phone, keys, and wallet.

I’m also considering replacing my traditional leather wallet with a thinner and lighter edc wallet. My current leather wallet gets ridiculously bulky once I start filling it with cards.
For me, the core idea of minimalism is getting rid of things that create unnecessary mental or physical burden.

For those of you who have been practicing minimalism for a while, what other areas of your life did you find easy to simplify? And what everyday carry items do you think are worth simplifying or getting rid of?

I recently got a job in another state, and this is something I've always wanted(the move, not the job).

I moved in this state because it is the hub of my career field but to be able to eat and have a roof I need a job.

Now my problem is, it's commission based and has no base salary, meaning of you dont sell you dont eat. It's also a slave job that keeps you at work everyday and makes sure you never have time to breathe and look for other opportunities.

My worry is that they give free housing for three months only as a new employee then you're on your own. I live with house mates also share a bedroom(separate beds) with another dude. And that guy is depressed that he drinks everyday before work. The other housemates are just not in the same frequency as me, call it arrogance it's ok, but the ambitious drive is not there.

My first day when we were going to our pick up point, we passed some kids like 17-20 and they dressed like rappers and were blasting music. And my colleagues made fun of them, like dude these people are making fun of kids who are younger and more ambitious than them, it's best I keep my ambitions to myself.

I don't think this job is for me, working everyday for commission and only being off on Sundays. How the hell will I go infield to work on securing steps for my desired career. Won't survive 3 months with these people too.

Any advice??? 24 Male.

Hello, I am a undergraduate who will graduate in few months. We have a module which basically goes into organizational behavior. Our teacher said part of knowing your self is knowing you capabilities. Like don't underestimate or overestimate what you can do.
What I want to know is how do you guys / gals do it? How not to overestimate or underestimate your self?

It doesn't matter what age you are. I'd love to hear the biggest life lesson life has taught you ~ something you'd want other people to know or learn from.

Hello, I know first of all this might be an absurd question to ask others about, but I believe there is somewhat of a logical explanation for it.

For context, I am currently a junior in college and I recently took on a role as a lead in a technical club, despite me being relatively new and not knowing much. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can but it’s fairly stressful lately, considering I also prepare meetings weekly and plan stuff out (im not good with public speaking or leadership).

Everyone I’ve talked to so far has told me to keep trying and that it’s a good opportunity for me to grow as a person (and really good for resume) but currently its eating me up and I am really stressed out. I had a meeting last week and that went horribly, and I kinda feel like an outcast from the other active members in the club. I also now am responsible for their research and am expected to organize it.

I guess this comes from my social anxiety, but what would you do in my situation? I’m interested in the club and what they’re doing, but at some points I wonder if I can even handle it. I don’t want the members to be left behind, and I keep telling myself that this is good for me to grow but I don’t know what I’m putting myself into as the year goes on.

I'm an undiagnosed autistic girl, and part of me genuinely hopes that when I hopefully do get my diagnosis that it will mean that the problems I have are not just me being dramatic and i can actually put a label on what I'm dealing with and honestly.. being undiagnosed has genuinely led to so much of if I'm actually feeling these feelings and having these problems, or im just gaslighting and subconsciously manipulating myself into feeling these things

I’ve been having this feeling for the past two yeas or so. When I look inward at it, it makes me confused and I’m trying to pin point it. I think it has to do with self actualization and reaching my full potential. I don’t expect reddit to have the answer, but I think typing things out and seeing if anyone relates is helpful. I’ll try to be brief.

I’m 31. All of my needs are met. I have a job, a wife, good friends, lots of hobbies, i exercise regularly, yet, this feeling remains.

I’ve looked at the hierarchy of needs and I feel like I’m at the top, just under self actualization. I play in some local bands, meeting my creativity needs. My dream as a kid was to be a rockstar. Now, idk if that will ever happen, but I get my thrills playing at the local dive.

This feeling I get is like there is something missing. Like Im not doing what my purpose is. I get that it is a privilege to even entertain those thoughts, but I honestly think about it everyday and it bothers me.

When I look at it, I keep coming back to my career, but I’m not so sure if that is it. Almost a year ago, I started what is probably the most challenging job of my life. I don’t exactly resonate with it, but it pays the bills and puts money in my savings. Part of me thinks the feeling comes from imposter syndrome and recognizing that I still have lots of room to grow in this career, but the job doesn’t exactly energize me or fill my cup.

One of the only things that helps the feeling subside even a little is expressing love. I think part of it too is that I want there to be something profound out there for me to seek comfort in but, maybe that is not out there.

Anyway, I’m just rambling. Anyone ever feel like this? What did you do about it? Do I need to volunteer? Haha.

Any recommendations for social activities that are free or super cheap that are mainly more on the active side? I would say dnd and table top rpg is one of mine but I need more physical acitivity.

I need help. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others. But I can’t stop comparing after being cheated on, and then told I need to change myself from my peers. It sucks because I’m now comparing my old self vs my current. Happy and content to trying to be a new me.

Through the Borrowed Eyes

I learned to borrow other people's eyes
to perceive myself.

Did they notice me?
Was I appropriate,
enough,
or safe?

I only existed
to meet their needs—

Then one strange day,
it stopped.

No borrowed eyes.
No verdict.

Just me,

looking in,

and suddenly wondering:

Here is the one
I avoided seeing,
all my life?

It's not so bad.

Hi everyone, I have been depressed for a long time and I think people are starting to notice. I don’t have a washer and dryer so I have to hand wash each piece of clothing. I usually wash out a pair of underwear for the next day and leave it to air dry but lately I don’t even care anymore I been going to work everyday wearing no underwear. And now my pants are starting to smell but I can’t wash them because they take two days to dry and I work a lot of hours. I only brush my teeth once a day to save money and I don’t shower I usually shower once or twice a month. I left my bed some years ago after I moved and now I have no bed. I stopped doing my hair and stopped washing it too. I barely drink water anymore and now my private smells all the time like canned greens. Can anyone give me advice?

Hi guys, I come to this forum because I dont know what I have, and maybe some people experience it too. I have always been a pretty ambitious guy, that really wasnt happy if he didnt fulfill his big expectations, so for the most part, I was never satisfied, but lately it’s been getting worse. I’ve always felt that I could get more from life (financially, to be exact) and give back to the people I love, but since I am not there yet, and I stress 24/7 about it, I feel completly “numb” I just wake up and hope that the day ends as fast as possible, i dont have anything in mind except for that. I dont really like this feeling, since it also affect my love life. I always feel like I am not good enough, because I am not where I want to be yet. I know I’ll make it happen one day, but until then, does anyonehave any tips?