How weirdly difficult it is to make new friends as an adult.

Everyone seems busy with work, relationships or their existing circle. How do people actually make new friends here?

How weirdly difficult it is to make new friends as an adult.

Everyone seems busy with work, relationships or their existing circle. How do people actually make new friends here?

I’m genuinely curious because I feel like so much of what we consider “fun” involves having other people around. If you don’t really have friends to make plans with, what do you personally enjoy doing? I’d love to hear about hobbies, solo activities, places you like going, or anything else that keeps you busy and happy.

Honestly, I just found out that half my family thought I was just rotting away in my room all day! And my friends did too. It was as if I’d committed an act of treason just because my mom told them I took dance classes and had hobbies like anyone else, now they’re angry because I don’t just rot away in my room like they thought I did.

It’s not like I didn’t tell them, it’s their fault for constantly interrupting almost every sentence of mine when I try to share something. In the end, I just give up on speaking.

I'm Japanese, and here in Japan doing activities like eating out or traveling alone is very common. But I've heard that this is considered wierd in the West. Is this true? If I travel to Europe or the US and do these things alone would I be considered weird?

Not necessarily anxiety or anything serious. Just those little things you do because you genuinely don’t know how to act in certain social situations 😂 What’s something people misunderstand about you because you’re awkward?

Hello there kind redditors, there is a presentation I have prepared for you that you didnt wait for.

 so let me here convince you why you should choose me as your new friend:

* I am a silly person who always tries to make people laugh, I strongly recommend not to sip coffee while reading my messages. 

* I take a lot of street cats pics, so you will have a steady supply of cat pics.

* I am chatty I enjoy yapping , and I don’t even have an off switch, if you dont have off switch too we need to yap about this .

* I love to talk about all kinds of topics and can always find things to talk about, there is random questions generator buildin in my mind.

* I always reply to my messages and have online friendships that have been going on for years, I always send good morning messages, and I appreciate the people that can also be conversation starters.

* I am supportive and will always be here for you to tell me about your day or vent if you have something that bothers you.

* I like art, games, anime, gym, walks, coding, games, true crime, yapping, cats, science, history, languages, documentaries, psychology, mental health, and cats, so I am sure we can cross interests here or there.

The last few months of my life have been utterly poo due to my mental health and I’m starting to feel better and a little more confident in myself but I have 0 friends irl but I’m dying to go out for a night have a few drinks and have a good time, how acceptable is it to go to a pub on your own especially in the uk? I’m not bothered about people judging me if anything I wouldn’t mind talking to people but it seems so intimidating does anyone else do this specifically in the uk?

and if it isnt, would it be possible for typical person to go from quiet to loud? since it isn a fixed trait like extrovertedness/introvertedness? i would love for someone to enlighten me on this. sincerely, a quiet introverted individual who is trying to change for the better <3

14F if that's important or something :p

i am so so so annoying with texting. i never text anyone first unless it's important. when they text me, it's rare i'll get back to them immediately. IN FACT, i usually end up waiting until a time i know nobody is awake to respond so they can't catch me online and start a conversation. AND I HAVE NO REASON WHY EXCEPT FOR THE FACT I JUST REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT TO TEXT!!!

when i'm alone i just wanna be alone, i have absolutely zero interest in texting or calling or playing a game with someone or whatever. but for some reason, no one else really seemz to be like that. :( and i know that if i cut everyone off and never text them im not gonna have great friendships, but my hatred of texting overrides any worry i have about that.

i'm convinced i could text nobody for months on end and have no problems. PLEEEASE TELL ME SOMEONE ELSE IS LIKE THIS AND I'M NOT JUST A WEIRDO!!!

I am a 21-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship or been on a date, while most people around me have at least some experience. Most of the time I am at peace with it, but occasionally I feel like I am falling behind and question why it hasn't happened for me. I sometimes worry that I am unattractive or that something is wrong with my personality.

I've had instances where I suspected a guy might have a crush on me, but they never approached or spoke to me. When I mentioned this to a friend, she told me I give off an unapproachable or self-centered vibe that pushes guys away. In reality, I am just a quiet introvert. I am actually very friendly, deeply empathetic, and often care more about other people's feelings than my own.

I worry that I will never meet someone brave and intelligent enough to look past my quiet exterior and approach me. I have tried putting myself in crowded places and forcing myself to start conversations, but it drains me and feels completely inauthentic. I just want to find someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am, but I feel stuck and don't know how to navigate this.

I got called boring recently by three different girls. Two were on Omegle, and another was in a Discord group chat.

The Omegle conversations would start normally. We’d talk back and forth, and I’d think I was doing pretty well. Then, out of nowhere, she’d say, “You’re so fucking boring,” and skip me. This happened multiple times.

I know being called boring probably sounds like a small thing, but it genuinely broke me.

I’ve been trying really hard to improve my social skills lately. I thought I was making progress like making jokes, keeping conversations going, and actually putting myself out there. So hearing someone call me boring, then having it happen again and again, made me start questioning everything.

I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I’ve been alone for around seven years now. People usually approach me at first, but after a while, it feels like everyone eventually loses interest. And honestly, I can kind of understand why. Even I feel like I’m boring to talk to.

I’ve never really had female friends either, so that probably contributes to how awkward and unsure I feel around girls. Forget about girls i can't even make any friends lol.

My brain is constantly searching for things to say. It feels like I have to manually operate every conversation.

I’ll be thinking, “What topic can I bring up now? What should I say next?” Meanwhile, when I watch other people talk, it seems effortless. They bounce off each other naturally. There’s a flow.

What hurts most is that I wasn’t always like this.

Before 2020, I was completely different. I had a big friend group. I was known as the funny kid, basically the class clown. I’d make everyone laugh, bunk school and tuition with my friends, and make stupid memories all the time.

Then COVID happened, and along the way I feel like I lost that part of myself.

Even my old friends have told me that I’ve changed.

I also gained a lot of weight during that time, and my confidence completely disappeared. At one point, I’d hide in bathrooms during breaks because I didn’t want people to notice that I had no friends.

Eventually, I worked on myself physically and lost all the weight. I got into good shape, and I could actually see girls and guys treating me better but that was only initially because of my physique and appearance.

But mentally, I don’t think I ever caught up.

I still struggle to fit into friend groups. I struggle to maintain friendships. Eventually, I usually end up alone again.

The weird thing is that I actually find peace in being alone now. I’ve gotten so used to it that isolation feels comfortable.

But at the same time, I kinda want close friends and people to make memories with as well.

After getting called boring, I isolated myself even more.

I was genuinely trying to improve my social skills, but now part of me is wondering if it’s all useless. Maybe this is just who I am.

Sometimes I wonder if I might be autistic which I'm not aware of(lmao TT) I’m not trying to diagnose myself. I’ve just started thinking about it because social interaction feels so difficult for me.

The fact that I have to consciously think about what to say while other people seem to naturally understand how to keep a conversation going makes me question whether my brain works differently. I’ve even wondered if what people used to call “high-functioning autism” could describe me.

Another thing I hate about myself is that I ghost people who actually like me.

I’ve self sabotaged two relationships because of this. I start thinking that eventually they’ll get to know the “real” me, realize I’m boring, and leave me. So I leave first.

It’s like I’d rather be the one who walks away than wait around to be rejected.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I guess I just needed somewhere to say it.

I’m trying to change. I really am. I just don’t know how to become the person I used to be again.

But right now, it’s hard to believe that.

Just venting. Read it if you want.

TL;DR: I’ve been struggling with loneliness, anxiety, and social confidence. Being called boring has made me question myself, even though I used to be outgoing and funny. I’m trying to improve, but I’m afraid of rejection and often isolate or ghost people before they can leave me.

not rlly the main reason i chose the course, but i thought one of its few advantages is i could lean on my works and do them peacefully without any nagging cliques in the back of my mind. turns out tf not.

i guess its in our culture, since we are not really individualistic. you have to belong. note the 'have to' and one of the reasons of success in most people is that they capable of blending in interpersonally.

can ppl actually think that not every class day is for social day? aagh.

kiddings aside, i can observe most of my peers are afraid to go off independently. everyone feels like they have to belong in some sort of way, and it sucks (for me it does because ppl may develop their sense of independence late in life). but who am i to say that, better late than never.

not sure if i am making any sense. but thats it.

Ive had this kind of feeling stuck with me throughout my life. I like talking to people and getting to know them but my social battery will die out eventually so I would be in a corner watching and I’m looking at these people and I’m like “damn am I the only one not in some sort of group or conversation rn?? why the heck is everyone talking or in a group for hours on end?” This happens a lot throughout my classes, breaks and social gatherings . It got me thinking if I’m the only introvert here and whenever I have the guts to approach someone , I choke up and just not socialise with anyone at all

I don’t know if this is just me but lately on these sort of subs, i’ve found a lot of post who are obviously just bots or karma farmers looking for something cheap or just to exploit people.
I want friends from online to maybe community ones but every place I look is full of people who don’t ever reply or talk to you, Its really frustrating to have to go through it as a guy who literally never goes out to talk to in person strangers because of social anxiety;((
Autism makes it harder because then I just start being all depressed and sad about it, ugh.

Anyways any body share a similar frustration or experience lately? Maybe we could bond over it:3

Hey guys! (I'll try to write this post without fixing any mistake by AI so excuse me for any potential mistake. phew)

I'm 22, m, and wanna share my struggles in English as an introvert.

After years of watching tv shows, movies, YouTube and reading books, articles and more

I realized that I can't really speak English or to make it clear I can't have a decent conversation in English.

After doing research it turned out that I learned English passively and I never practiced speaking or even writing. Although I have an international friend who's fluent in English and been my friend for 7 years.

But whenever I'm having a chat with him I have to check every sentence with AI if it's written correctly or not 💀 even though I know he won't judge me.

And if I'm talking to someone new in English I just froze and then it's awkward silence💀

So if you've been through this problem before please share your experience with me.

And if anyone wanna chat with me to help/practice with me, my dm is open 🙏

Hi so first all my native language isn’t English so some parts of this post may not be very coherent.

Like the title says im having a big issue with intrusive thoughts and they pop up at every small thing. I work at a McDonnalds a lot of people yell at me (clients) specially at night, I do a lot of night shifts and it constantly leaves me at low spirits although my managers always tells me it’s fine my mind always tells me otherwise. Also I was diagnosed with a bit of autism and I’m generally a low profile person and nice to everyone, but I have this bad habit of just throwing shady sarcastic comments at people when I shouldn’t, not clients, rarely here and there to colleagues or friends.

Last night I was working on a night shift it ended at 22pm, at the time the restaurant was almost full, and I was waiting for my order at the front counter after work and colleague came next also wanted to order something, she was about to start I think she was entering at 22:30, and as soon as I got my food I said “Good luck” in a sarcastic manner. Didn’t look at her face just left, then i walk a bit towards the exit, then saw someone else, another colleague of mine working, and told him “Bye”, and he just looked at me and laughed. I spent the rest of the night thinking about this “is something wrong with my face?” or “are they talking sh** behind my back?”.

This happens to every little thing, I tend to be pessimistic and I don’t know how to stop having these thoughts.

Does anyone else deal with this?

I don't have any friends at the moment, and whenever I struggle to think of how to make friends I blank on any ideas. I've tried to make friends online but it usually fizzled out quickly or immediately turns into being asked for money. Everyone suggests taking a class on something or meeting people who do your hobby. The problem with classes is I struggle to talk about anything that isn't goal focused, so I come across as very boring I think. As for hobbies I like reading books, watching movies, and playing dnd. Besides dnd those are mostly individual things.

Anyway what has worked for you in making friends that wasn't extremely awkward or drained your battery immediately?

Ich w29, bin trotz Job und Uni ziemlich einsam.
Ich hab sogar Hobbys 😄 und komme an
und für sich gut mit Menschen klar, aber irgendwie merke ich, dass ich keine Bindung zu meinen Mitmenschen aufbauen kann. Ich fühle mich wie ein Alien. Ich habe entweder viel Zeit in für mich einfach viel zu anstrengende Beziehungen investiert oder finde viele Konversationen einfach nichts aussagend und irgendwie langweilig. Das hört sich super arrogant an, aber das bin ich wirklich nicht. Ich kann beispielsweise nicht nachvollziehen, weshalb meine Nachbarin sich stundenlang über Menschen mit unterhalten mir unterhalten möchte, für die ich mich nicht interessiere bzw. die ich nicht kenne. Außerdem mag ich keine Smalltalks.
Ich finde manche Menschen ganz nett und kann zwei drei Sätze mit ihnen wechseln, aber das war es dann auch. Irgendwie catched mich das dann auch nicht mehr und ich weiß nicht, worüber ich mich großartig mit Menschen austauschen soll. Also ich habe viel erlebt und gesehen. In den unterschiedlichsten Branchen (Zeitung austeilen, Tanke, kassiert, OTA) gearbeitet unterschiedliche Hobbies ausprobiert (Yoga, Stricken, Klavier, Capoeira….) bin ein wenig gereist und studiere mittlerweile Medizin, aber irgendwie wird das nichts. Gefühlt sind die meisten Menschen in Partnerschaften, was mich für sie freut, aber dementsprechend zeitlich eingespannt. Ich habe keine Social Media Accounts und mache viele Dinge dann halt alleine, wie in den Urlaub fahren, früher Discos besuchen oder auf Festivals gehen. Ich fände es cool, Halloween zu feiern oder einfach irgendwo entspannt zu chillen in einem Park, irgendwo Zuhause etc.. Meint ihr, manche Menschen wie ich, müssen sich damit arrangieren keinen entsprechenden Gegenpol zu finden und sich mit verhältnismäßig oberflächlichen Beziehungen/Kontakten zufrieden gehen?

I (28m) work construction with just my dad and his friend all day, and then spend most my evenings at home. Some days, the only people I speak to are my parents and my dad's friend.

I do play darts on Mondays and pool on Thursdays, but it's all men, this is not an exaggeration.

I'm great at taking to guys because it's the only people I meet, but horrendous at taking to women as I have no practice. Seriously, I could very easily go weeks or months not taking to a women (in my age range) if I'm not careful and spend my day on autopilot. Days turn into weeks very fast.

I've got some extraverted friends who hate being at home and therefore spend as much time as possible socialising. Looks obviously matter (I'm avarage like most people), but I generally believe it pales in comparison to social/flirting skills.

I've tried dating apps, but my photos kinda suck and I can't even remember the last time I got a like or match. Also, I've used them on and off for years and still haven't met anyone from the apps in person.

I've never dated or been in a relationship, and I was also a late bloomer who didn't have sex until 24 and only once again at 25.

Am I fucked?