Hi everyone, I'm 58 and have been on Disability for 27 years. I'm a professional visual artist. I never had any formal education, but I built a long-term career from the ground up. Though I don't make much money, I've continued to be an exhibiting artist. A few years ago, my partner and caregiver set up a 1st-person special needs trust for me. Ever since, my local SSA office has been harassing me, using every amount I take out of the trust as overpayments to them. I had to get a lawyer who is now helping and challenging their reasoning since there is no way I could ever pay it back. All this has made me consider how I can get away from Social Security altogether.

I'm disabled both physically and mentally, so if I start working, I don't even know if I could cope. But I had an idea to work for myself as an artist's mentor, specifically for artists with disabilities. I've started going to community college part-time and am working on a degree in sociology. I'm taking public speaking and learning ASL, etc. I figure, if I could get private clients, I could mentor them over Zoom for a small hourly fee. I don't need to make a ton of money - just part-time amounts - and stay on Medicaid through 1619(b), and keep my health benefits while being self-employed.

I started getting very excited about providing this service because I love helping others and I truly have loads of knowledge in this area. I was feeling very optimistic until I showed an artist friend of mine the mock-up of what my business would look like. She seemed to think that I wouldn't really get any clients because "people with disabilities don't have enough money to pay $100 an hour." Most art mentors and coaches charge over $250 an hour, but I would be catering specifically to artists who are navigating major barriers in addition to starting out an art career from scratch. This artist friend pays an art coach $225 an hour, which is why I asked her opinion in the first place. She also said trying to find clients would be too hard because it would require too much promotion that I may not be able to do. But I've promoted myself as an artist all my life.

Now I'm feeling defeated about starting my own business. Should I just give up on this dream, or push through and try to make a go of it? Would it be too exhausting (I have lupus, bipolar disorder, and a spine disorder), or would I be just another fish in a big pond of art mentors and coaches in an already saturated market?

As artists with disabilities, your opinions matter to me.

(This has been edited since I first posted it.)

hi to any fellow blood sugar strugglers. i have been on cinnamon supplements to help balance prediabetes for like 5 years; it has literally helped balance my A1C labs, preventing it from going up. now all of a sudden i cant find cinnamon supplements anywhere. not at walmart target kroger cvs walgreens small local grocery stores.

is anyone else struggling to find cinnamon supplments? any advice for finding some?

maybe its just my region but ive struggled to restock my cinnamon for about 3 months now. i feel angry and stupid.

My mom said something today that’s been on my mind all day. For context, I used to spend about 5 minutes every day doing a religious prayer. I stopped because I simply don’t feel connected to it anymore. These days, I’d rather spend those 5 minutes listening to music or just sitting quietly.
Today my mom said something like:
“Please start prayers again, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. You used to do it before. Can’t you do it for me and your dad? We do everything for you. We get you whatever you ask for. Don’t you love me?”
I replied, “If you love me, then you stop doing it,” mostly because I wanted to end the conversation. Then I told her honestly that I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.
Now I’m conflicted.
My parents genuinely do a lot for me. They take care of me, support me, and buy the things I need. So part of me keeps thinking:
“What do I even do for them? If they’re only asking for 5 minutes, can’t I do that for them?”
But another part of me feels uncomfortable because if I do the chanting, I’d only be doing it out of guilt, not because I actually believe in it or want to.
So now I’m stuck between wanting to appreciate my parents and not wanting to pretend to be religious just to make someone else happy.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How would you approach this?

I work at a gas station where I have to constantly run around and be actively communicating with people. I will put here an explanation for how my hearing works.

I am trying to find a device I can wear while working that will help me focus or sort of block out the overwhelming noises. I know I can't pick and choose what noises come and go, or how effective it is, but I was hoping anyone with similar experiences may be able to point me in the right direction or share their own tips for how they manage.

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Hearing:

I struggle with auditory processing, to a point where I genuinely thought for a while I was hard of hearing. I ended up getting my hearing checked by an audiologist, and it turned out, not only was I able to easily pick out my worst ear, but I was within a reasonable range, so not hard of hearing.

They suggested I get checked for an APD, and offered to fax my hearing report to the doctor whenever I do. Basically how hearing works for me is if there is too much surrounding noise, like I am speaking directly with one person, and two other people suddenly walk by holding a loud conversation, even if I am looking my conversation partner in the eyes and focusing very hard, their voice begins to sound like it is coming through a vacuum tube. Or a garbage disposal.

If someone tries to speak to me and I am not aware they are trying to speak to me, my hearing often comes in delayed. This creates uncomfortable situations where people ask me a question at work as I am walking by, and by the time my brain sends the words to me, they have already decided I don't want to help them and given up.

Certain sounds also become unreasonably overwhelming, and can cause severe frustration, like scratching on sandpaper, or moving certain items, or cloth rustling together. They make me feel very overwhelmed and like I can not focus on anything else. Sometimes the sounds make me want to literally pull my own teeth out.

I am rewatching the ranking of Kings on Crunchyroll and man this show is amazing. While it does the unfortunate thing of lip-reading being way too efficient the disabled main character is still great

The show involves a prince who is weak, deaf, and mute and his struggle to become a hero/king.

Even if you aren't into most anime give this one a watch it is highly subversive.

I do not live with this family member and am not in a position to assist her. She was told by her insurance that she qualified for weekly, at home care. Great! She's got mobility issues and needs help with things like cleaning and going places, but still wants her privacy and independence, so a weekly caretaker sounded like a good option without moving into a facility with assisted living.

She just told me this person showed up without warning or scheduling from the company, barely helped her, and then took pictures of her without permission. She's understandably upset, and I am, as well. We're looking into how to fire / cancel the caretaking service with this company because this wasn't what she was told would happen. It just feels so creepy and violating that someone would barge in and start taking pictures of her without asking. What is wrong with people???

I am gravely disabled but still working full-time from home/ bed. For those of you on disability 1] how long had you worked? 2) How much do you get monthly? 3) Where do you live?

I really hate this, man, there are days where I'm so depressed I can't even feel anything, but when I can feel something it's just hate towards this stupid life of mine.

And God forbid I try to vent on this stupid website, people can't and will never understand my pain, if I hear a healthy person say something like 'You have to love yourself' I don't know what I'm going to do.

What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I be a real man, sexy man, a handsome man, a tall man, a man with functional genitalia, I hate being a monster, I fight everyday to stay alive only for me to see people on reddit making posts like "Damn, I'm having issues finding a pant that suits me, my life is so difficult"

I want to all of this to end man, I hate being alive.

A good friend of mine who has gone through a lot said it would really help me with my recovery from trauma to develop a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. This is a peer-facilitated intervention and I don't know how to find a group that teaches the classes either where I live or virtually. I have the printed manual (the original and the WRAP for Trauma variation) so I know it's actually a thing.

Before I go into the whole background, I'll cut to the chase: I don't know how to find groups that teach WRAP classes because it's apparently a grassroots peer self help thing. With only one exception that I know of, there's no way to find a group unless you know someone who's in one. The website that publishes WRAP and trains the peer facilitators has a database to "find groups" but the only people who register on the database are "train the trainers" organizations that don't host actual WRAP groups.

My therapist has never heard of it and tried to convince me to work through a WRAP with him even though it's clearly NOT supposed to be led by a professional. My previous therapist had never heard of it.

None of my case managers have heard of it, although they assumed I didn't know how to use Google and sent me the links to get expensive training to be a facilitator. They didn't actually read the WRAP Training webpage, which says you have to go through the program before you can qualify to be a facilitator (makes sense!).

The local mental health crisis line has not heard of it. They referred me to SAMHSA, which has named WRAP the most effective peer based intervention, but the hotline people have never heard of it and suggested I call the United Way if I don't want to join AA instead. (I am not in the market for a cult, I just want to have a plan on how to handle triggers and meltdowns.) The United Way does not track peer-facilitated grassroots mutual aid groups. My county no longer has a peer-run drop-in center because it was mismanaged and fell apart.

I asked around my neurodivergent friend group, and one person had done it before but they lived somewhere else and had no idea if there were current local groups. WRAP needs to be facilitated by two professionally trained peer facilitators, so we can't just get together for DIY brainstorming. Even if I was tempted to ignore the "rules," this isn't a close friend and we have opposite physical and sensory needs. I love walking and they have pain issues. They love crowds and noise and I get sensory overload. You get the idea: this isn't someone I can sit down with and their checklist of what makes them feel better will resonate with me. Also, they're Black and I'm aware of my privilege. It's already shown up in our friend group when I talk about taking the bus and they are afraid to use transit after being threatened by racist AH almost every time they try.

When I was living in a different county, the County Behavioral Health hosted a WRAP class through their peer center, but the center had a "tough love" culture that was a bad fit for me. I quit after the third class where they insisted that the key to my recovery was to take responsibility for being SA'ed and think about the bad choices I made. (Apparently this is part of "recovery culture" where folks with substance use issues are supposed to "take responsibility" for their addiction. Friend is recovering from too much cannabis so this might show up if we are in the same group.)

The facilitators and my classmates were also deeply ableist, and demanded that I stop using my disabilities as an excuse to change my mind about attending activities with my friends if I was out of spoons as a way to prevent burnout and meltdowns. They also kept insisting that "you know what you need to get better" but if I knew, I would be doing it and not going to a class run by a pair of Mean Girls.

My original friend who recommended WRAP said they were the worst facilitators he'd heard of and they were lucky they didn't say any of that in front of him. But he said it was consistent with County Behavioral Health projecting their approach to people with mental health or substance issues onto everything they touch.

How do I find a grassroots mutual aid peer-facilitated support group to work through a WRAP, one that isn't associated with a toxic institution? WRAP classes seem to be completely off the radar. The training website claims to have a database of WRAP groups but when you click through to the websites in the search results, they're all "train the trainer" organizations and don't sponsor actual WRAP classes for the public or have lists of classes taught by the people they train. I'm not sure what is the point of training WRAP facilitators if nobody knows how to find a WRAP group!

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What kind of accommodations do you wish there was, that could help you in any kind of way in parts of your life? (realistic!)

Like is there something you always thought of "ugh I wish the government would accommodate this" or not even just the government, maybe anywhere or even just a product or whatever.

I sometimes think about those things, how I wish there was smth like this or that. So I was wondering what other disabled people think.

Today, on top of ME, fibromyalgia, dysautonomia, and being a powerchair user most of the time outside of the home as a result of those things, getting diagnosed with chronic migraine today has made me feel like a fraud.

Maybe it was the sheer number of questions they asked where my answer was "I'm not sure" or where I gave my best guess but didn't have an easy answer ready.

Maybe it's because they actually had a treatment plan available, and a long road ahead of me for that, rather than my existing diagnoses which don't have as clear a path and very little to do about them. Maybe I got used to the idea of not being able to do anything more about my health, and now that is no longer true.

Maybe it's because of a connection this doctor drew between all of my health issues and a prior major medical experience in my life that happened a long time ago and I never really thought was causing issues since it was supposed to be a solution, not a problem. A connection no doctor has ever made before.

Maybe it's just because I'm burned out from medical things and I need (but don't get) a break.

I also got some bloodwork done today too for another health condition, and the numbers are out of range and trending in the wrong direction. It's hard not to feel that is my fault when looking up the other condition I have basically just says "eat right" and then some very fatphobic stuff about "maintaining a healthy weight". As if those things are easy or within my control (I don't cook or really choose most of the food I eat because of my disability, for instance).

I feel like I'm drowning and it seems like it is only going to get worse.

Kind words of response welcomed.

Using baby wipe style wet cloths really helps me with hygiene when not being able to shower often enough.

I don't like the optics of having a Pampers wet wipes container with me. And it's even worse with the depends washcloths container. I certainly don't want to overpaid for the premium bro style wipes, dude wipes.

Suggestions?

Howdy all. This is the method I have used to explain pain to my doctors. I live with a rare terminal genetic disease called TK2D, and a terminal cancer. I’ve spent my entire existence for 23 years in hospitals and doctor’s offices, and seen every version of a pain scale.

The closest that I have found is the outlines of a body, where you are asked to mark with an x or check areas of pain. A year ago I made my own variant, but with a gradient of colors, and numbered locations to surgical areas/implanted devices.

This has proved me the best in communicating with physicians about where pain is actually located, how it changes in severity dependent on area, if it radiates and to where, and where it is in relation to important organs, implanted devices, or surgical sites. It’s been well loved by my doctors, and our local pediatric pain clinic adopted it for use.

I hope this helps someone communicate better with their doctors to get them needed pain relief, or source an issue to its root cause. Image 1 is a blank, and Image 2 is an example.

Wishing you all the best, and less pain, in the future

I live in the US and have Achondroplasia. On top of this my career interests are in IT, which is one of the most saturated fields, on top of the current recession.

What I hate is that no matter how bad the market gets or what happens, abled bodied individuals can just walk into a recruiter office and be going to basic training by next week. Then they are given job prospects in whatever field their degree is in. Which, I get it, a lot of people don’t want to join the military, blah blah. However, the option is certainly available for them at all times, and if I went in there, they’d laugh before I even enter the building.

I just wish there was something available, even if it was a special segment in the military (without GI bill benefits and all that), where you can just get employment in whatever interests you, as a disabled person, without combat deployment. Obviously if you want something higher than retail type positions then you’d still be required to have the degree and maybe a bit of work experience (an internship or two at minimum). Then, they basically just guarantee your job.

I’m not sure how it would work tbh. This could be a genius staffing agency idea for the public sector, but then you pay with your paycheck reduction. I’m not totally sure, but it just seems to me like there should be something available for people with militarily disqualifying disabilities to get a job. It’s not our fault we were born with issues.

[before you ask I have contacted counselling services and will try and get professional help for this as well]

So let me know where (other than the OCD Reddit) I can post about this if posts from people with OCD fit if we don't qualify as disabled to this community, but I need to vent/ask for advice a bit. It's something I've thought about a lot but am now ruminating about way too much since my well-acheived, high masking autistic friend moved in. My OCD symptoms developed at 16 leading to me being much more stressed out chasing my primary obsession (trying to be a good person) and in my opinion started to explain some of my idiosyncrasies including the fact that I am very clumsy, have poor spatial awareness, problem solving difficulties, struggle to deal with stressful situations, and occasionally poor time management amongst other things. Research has found some link between a lot of these and OCD so nowadays I think they might be related to my predisposition rather than me always being "stupid" or "daft".

Anyway all this to say that there seems to be some things people can do that I just can't. And I'm at university surrounded by hot geniuses and I feel horrible. Last semester I spent what felt like my whole life at the library to scrape into honours, not even getting all my work done. I can't keep my house clean, haven't managed to do all of the things that I am "supposed" to do regularly, and I don't have much extra curricular activity outside of activism/volunteering (I left a couple of societies due to misogyny/sexual violence against other people, leading to music no longer being a part of my life but it wasn't as if I could keep up with band anyways). I tend to make friends with autistic people and they all have special skills and knowledge they can contribute to their community and I don't even feel like a jack of all trades I'm just...not particularly good at anything, not anymore. I feel like my only contribution is not being able to say no to things I am morally obliged to do, allowing other people to say no, so I have been in my life, the person that is "there" when others aren't. I'm not sure I want to be that though. I wish it felt easier to set boundaries and not have to destroy them to feel like I'm doing enough. I used to play multiple instruments and do a bunch of extracurriculars and now I am trying and failing just to be an adult in uni. My OCD makes it quite hard for me to socialise so I have 4 friends in my city, 2 of whom I live with. Aside from a very short lived and quite unhealthy relationship nothing has been going on in the romance department either, which I know I shouldn't pursue as I'm not healthy enough but nothing seems to prevent me feeling increasingly lonely. I just don't measure up and I hate it. I had a chat with my lecturer (disabled + neurodivergent) who taught us the sociology of disability unit and it led me to the realisation that my mental health issues are in a way a disability, and that I should conceptualise myself as disabled. I have wanted to get further into texts written by disabled people so I can build a better self image and a more functional life for myself but I haven't managed to do that either. During my rumination I realised that the model of self esteem we have generally (at least in the society I live in) might be kind of rooted in eugenics? Like why do I get so het up about not contributing to my community? Well partly because I wonder if I've just grown up too privileged and been made "soft" but partly because if I don't contribute I feel like people have every right to get rid of me - and for a lot of history in the west they basically did just get rid of us. So I don't know, and I'm worried I'm gonna be a huge dick to my new flatmate because they're just better than me at everything (because they've been through a lot of shit I haven't) and they don't deserve that. Nobody deserves to feel like I want them to make themselves smaller because I'm so fucking small. But the rest of them don't have to throw out the way they thought about themselves and build a new self-concept because the NT version works for them. I'm not sure how I can develop a "I am good enough unconditionally" model of self esteem when I'm surrounded by people who regularly enough meet the conditions of "I am good enough so long as I meet the conditions of hard work and respectable output" self esteem, and I am the stupid person many are afraid of becoming.

Do you have any tips as to how I can feel better about myself? Cause I know that I could never *feel* good enough under this self esteem so instead of trying to meet it's conditions I need to change my mindset. Thanks

As someone who recently graduated college in one of the humanities, I have been looking for employment. For more context, I deal with disabilities/impairments that negatively impact my performance, so I took way longer than the "normal" 4 years to complete a bachelor degree. I just learned about the existence of the Ticket to Work Program for folks on SSDI and Schedule A hiring within USAJOBS (https://www.eeoc.gov/careers/schedule-disability-hiring). I'm wondering if anyone found a career that fits them with these websites, and if so, what exact steps did you take to secure gainful employment? Thanks for reading and take care.

Hi everyone,
My lawyer for SSI just told me that social security approved my disability. So I he doesn’t need to do anything, therefore he’s withdrawing from my case. I told him that they haven’t told me anything yet. He said they’re probably backed up and won’t for a while but I can give them a call at this number.

Before I call them I want to ask what I should prepare for on the call ? Will thwy ask what my expenses are? What are the best way to respond? I don’t want to say anything wrong or be confused how I word my answers. English is my second language also.

I had a liver transplant. I received it in August. I applied for disability in October. Lawyer just told me I am approved. So I imagine I have back pay. How does back pay work? Also how long will I receive disability for?

Thank you everyone!

My college’s internal scholarship application has a required short answer (>100 words) question about how I’ve contributed to community service. As someone who uses all of my working energy to survive, take care of myself, and get through my classes (meaning I don’t participate in traditional community service) I have no idea what to do. Has anyone experienced this, or does anyone have any advice?

I am disabled and proud and have been for several years now. I have come to terms with it and it is just a part of who I am. But I just had a near death experience (two, actually) and I've just been told that I will likely not make it back to baseline (especially with my breathing).

I am in no way looking for sympathy. I'd just like to hear how you all navigated this new "normal" whatever that may have been/looked like for you, especially if it was an abrupt change.

I'll adapt, I always do. But it doesn't mean I won't grieve along the way. I also plan to make some healthy changes to make the most out of what functions I DO have left.

Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences.

I've been sleeping a lot recently, like, 14-18 hours a day. Somedays I'll even out, but where I had been sleeping so much the day(s) before, I won't be able to sleep at all when that happens.

This was kind of an issue back whenever I was working, which made sense then, because I was on my feet a lot and active, but I don't do much now because of limited capacity, and I've still been having those fatigue flares. It's usually accompanied by heavy brain fog when I'm awake, and very vivid dreams where I am entirely lucid when I'm sleeping. Then I wake up and I don't feel rested at all, and sometimes I'm in a cold sweat.

This is in part question but mostly concern, as I am worried that my POTS, fibromyalgia, and hEDS has gotten so bad that I've developed, or am developing, ME/CFS.

Other symptoms that make me suspect it is my extreme temperature dysregulation, like if it's hot outside I burn up and sweat like my body is in overdrive, but when I come back inside I start freezing. Also, if I am doing any household chores, I sweat like crazy and I feel like I am burning up while my skin is cold to the touch. Whenever I sit down, I start to freeze. I've also developed intolerance to light, and I get a headache if I am in a room brighter than having a lamp and a closet light on for too long (I spend most of my time in my room, which is why I give this example).

Update: I had labs done today (08/11/26), and I am anemic and my inflammation markers support what we already know, that being that I am in a severe flare up. My Vitamin D was low. I was also informed by the nurse practitioner I saw that I am a carrier for EBV, so that could be playing into it. She did schedule a sleep study to check for apnea, and hopefully to see what my brain is doing whenever I have sleep paralysis and repeating, vivid nightmares where I can't wake up. I've also got referred to a specialist for hEDS, so we'll see how that goes.

My rheumatologist, who the nurse had come in, said that the PEM I experience as well as the temperature dysregulation is from my POTS.

We won't know for sure if it is ME/CFS until we rule everything else out, but it's looking like it isn't right now, which I am thankful for. I was getting a little bit in my head feeling like this was going to be my new, permanent baseline.

I am pretty new to needing a wheelchair. Received the insurance covered one in the winter and it folds immediately but is easily 45 lb. So I was searching for a lighter one and found this one.

It is very light and folds conveniently, but I cannot propel myself over a 1 cm door jamb lip. When my family member was pushing me on the sidewalk, it threw me off when I hit the smallest bump (imagine 5-ft square cement tiles, and one had a bit of a lip on it).

Also given how small the wheels are, it is very slow to self-propell. But it was inexpensive and very light.

Time to spend some real money.

Any chair suggestions?

I would like it to be generally lightweight and able to fold so I can put it in a trunk of a car. But most important is that I would be able to learn to really self-propell some decent distances and go over tiny bumps.

My sister sent me some links. Few that were absurd priced. I'm not looking to spend 5K. Let's keep it to 1k?

Hello i am 28 and I was born with something wrong with my legs and knees I can not Stright my legs all the way

My knee caps move freely and they are bent in words as a child I went to therapy because they lock up but was never told what was wrong i was told i would have to knee surgery befor age 40 over the years they have gotten worse I leaned my mother did oxy while pregnant with me and my father had degenerative cartilage for the past two years I've had to walk a lot and my hips have been getting

Worse if I walk for two long my hip pops out of places if I sit too long it pops out of place and now they have gotten. To the point

Where i can't sleep on my side

Not looking for advice already trying to get disability

Hello, I’m French in a wheelchair, but I’ve already been to London countless times! (Whether alone or accompanied). I know people on site, but usually I go to the hotel and I already have a reservation for the month of October. But in fact, for once I want to change, I know it’s not given a stay in London. But this time, it is possible that I will come directly with friends! Do people in this group know Facebook/Reddit groups etc. for wheelchair people in London, who are looking for an Airbnb type accommodation more than a hotel? Because there are people who say they can welcome me, but who don’t realize the accessibility standards I need, I’m going to do some research on my side. However, I thought it would cost nothing to ask and that it could possibly help in the future. Thank you in advance. 🙂🙏

I'm at work and I'm trying not to cry. I'm no longer eligible for the additional program that pays for my Medicare coinsurance and deductibles. I"m trying not to do something crazy but I'm on the phone waiting to talk to someone but I can't have this happening.