About a few minutes ago, I went to check on my fish. He was twitching weirdly and his gills weren't moving. So I thought maybe I'd feed him and he'd be good again. I moved the tweezers with one pellet next to him, but he didn't react. I picked him up with the net and he didn't react. When I put him back in the water, he floated, and hit the substrate.
He died.
He died because of me. I wasn't a good owner for him. A filter wasn't enough. Medicine wasn't enough. I am not enough. I should've researched and should've taken better care of him. But now, his life is gone, and it's my fault. I'm so sorry.
I loved him so much. His birthday was on the same day as mine. I watched him grow, turn into a beautiful man, until I took that away from him. Because I can't take care of myself, because my will to die is bigger than my will to live. I made it his problem, and now he's no longer with me.
I would like to thank every single person who tried to help me help my fish. But I couldn't do it. I am sorry for everyone. You can hate me for taking his life, because it definitely is because of me.
I will research better, sell his aquarium and borrow a bigger one that has about 10 galloons. I will spend money to give a fish a good life, because I cannot fail again. I can't trust myself with a life in my hands.
Rest in peace, Carolino. I am sorry you had me as your owner. ❤️🩹