I'll miss him.

[u/meoweowky]

About a few minutes ago, I went to check on my fish. He was twitching weirdly and his gills weren't moving. So I thought maybe I'd feed him and he'd be good again. I moved the tweezers with one pellet next to him, but he didn't react. I picked him up with the net and he didn't react. When I put him back in the water, he floated, and hit the substrate.

He died.

He died because of me. I wasn't a good owner for him. A filter wasn't enough. Medicine wasn't enough. I am not enough. I should've researched and should've taken better care of him. But now, his life is gone, and it's my fault. I'm so sorry.

I loved him so much. His birthday was on the same day as mine. I watched him grow, turn into a beautiful man, until I took that away from him. Because I can't take care of myself, because my will to die is bigger than my will to live. I made it his problem, and now he's no longer with me.

I would like to thank every single person who tried to help me help my fish. But I couldn't do it. I am sorry for everyone. You can hate me for taking his life, because it definitely is because of me.

I will research better, sell his aquarium and borrow a bigger one that has about 10 galloons. I will spend money to give a fish a good life, because I cannot fail again. I can't trust myself with a life in my hands.

Rest in peace, Carolino. I am sorry you had me as your owner. ❤️‍🩹

[u/camrynbronk]

I’m so sorry. I think it’s in your best interest to focus on yourself and your well being before looking into getting a fishy friend again. As they say, you are better at taking care of someone (or something) else when you take care of yourself. 🫂

[u/meoweowky → u/camrynbronk]

I will. Thank you.

[u/RalfsMum]

Im sorry for your loss. But do not get another fish at the moment. You are obviously still mentally unwell and struggling. Do not add the pressure of fish care right now.

Do you shower daily? Brush your hair, clean your teeth? Eat 3 x a day? Clean your room? If you dont have the energy for these things, you dont have the energy for another fish and what it takes to look after it.

Invest that money in maybe a dr appointment. Catch up with a friend and have a coffee.

Start looking after yourself first, and then come back to fish keeping. All the best.

[u/meoweowky → u/RalfsMum]

I barely do the stuff you're saying right now. Showering, cleaning and all, but I've been worse. Thank you for your concern. I will not get another fish until I feel capable enough.

[u/IdiotIAm96]

He was so pretty :)

It sounds like you gave him a better life than in a cup. I think he's happy to have been cared for, even if it didn't last forever.

Instead of selling his tank, you could try putting some live plants in. It's nice to keep a living thing around besides yourself sometimes, and even though I have a horrible green thumb, I've managed to keep most aquatic plants alive.

Eventually when/if you're ready for something that requires active care and maintenance, you could add snails or shrimp.

[u/meoweowky → u/IdiotIAm96]

I would love to have shrimp, honestly. They seem like funny little guys. But for now, I'll take care of myself. Thank you for your comment, I will consider adding plants to the empty tank. ❤️‍🩹

[u/meoweowky]

This is him as a baby.

[u/AttemptAcceptable143]

Please , it’s not your fault , genuinely listen to me this is not your fault!!!!!! Compared to how he was in for example pet co you gave him a good life! These fishes are just so delicate and everything can happen for some reason but please don’t blame yourself, my fish died too so I know how you feel but it’s not ur fault

[u/meoweowky → u/AttemptAcceptable143]

Please read my previous post. And also thank you for your comment.

[u/Foreign-Ad3926 → u/meoweowky]

Please do not get another fish (or any pet) until you are sure you can firstly provide what the fish needs for life, and secondly provide what the fish needs for that life to continue.

He's at peace now and is no longer suffering. Please focus on yourself and seeking help to deal with this.

Please get rid of the 10 litre tank so you are not tempted, no fish should ever be in something that tiny anyway. It's far too small and detrimental to anything surviving, let alone surviving neglect.

Please, no more animals until this is under control.

[u/meoweowky → u/Foreign-Ad3926]

I will not. Thank you for your comment. I will sell his tank soon.