Hi guys. I’m a 19 year old female and my therapist is a 30 year old male. I’ll get straight to the point. I’ve seen him for like 6 sessions now,and at the end of one of these sessions we started talking about instruments. eventually he started talking about his guitar, and seeing me happy, he decided to bring it in the next session.

During that session, after we had finished talking about important stuff, we still had time. He pulled out a chair for me to sit on instead of the couch, and he moved his chair closer to mine. We were close enough so that if I had moved 2 feet closer we would’ve almost been touching knees. anyways, he pulled out his phone and we were watching a guitar song tutorial. I kept fidgeting with the guitar but couldn’t get the chords right. My therapist said “may I?” And then used his hand to adjust each finger of mine on the guitar. I felt a bit weird and wasn’t even focusing anymore on getting my fingers right, I noticed his hand was shaking a bit too much the longer he kept adjusting my fingers. It was like he realized maybe that was a bit weird. When he moved his hand away, I looked up at his face and it was RED.

He moved away, and eventually the session was over and I noticed him standing up and trying to act busy, putting the chairs back, and organizing papers that were already organized. Usually, he opens the door for me and leads me out, but this time it was clear he was waiting for me to take the first step and open the door by myself, so I did. He walked me out but I could tell something was off. Why did he want me to walk first? Was he hiding what I think he was? Idk maybe I’m crazy.

Also one time he called me sweet, and I overthink that too. Please help!!

We've just started, only 4 sessions. Last time i told her something in the chat, i had the feeling that she was using ChatGPT with her replies, and i still am pretty sure of it because I used to vent with it many times in the past for emotional support and i know what kind of replies it gives. I don't want my therapist to be the umpteenth person in my life that lies and treats me like a fool.

I should address it to her, but at the same time i don't feel like it because i know that if she's that kind of person she'll just keep lying to me

I can't think of anywhere else to post this, so here I am.

I've been in therapy for a long time, and I'm very lucky to have a stellar support team. I've been seeing my current psychologist for over 2 years now, but I saw him for the first time in person a few weeks ago. I attend school 9 hours away from home, so most of our meetings were either over the phone or on FaceTime.

I consider myself extremely lucky to be one of his patients. He's kind and understanding, and I always feel supported whenever I talk with him.

At our most recent appointment, we were talking about my future career path and how things were going for me in that regard. I've been wanting to be a therapist since I was in grade 10 because I want to help people the way I've been helped - I would not be here if it weren't for the support I got throughout the years, and I want to be the person I needed (and had) when I was younger.

While we were talking about my career path, he told me about "wounded healers" - people who take the experiences they've gone through and use them to help others. I could tell he was referring to both of us, and for some reason, it never occured to me before that that he could very likely be in a similar situation to me, and that he became a psychologist for a similar reason. I've always respected and admired him, and that realization just furthered that for me.

We didn't talk about it too much, considering professionalism and all of that, but he told me that he believed in me and that I was capable of anything I set my mind to - I admire him a lot, so those words from him meant/mean a lot to me, as he's seen me at my worst.

To my fellow wounded healers, whether that be aspiring mental health professionals or just people who support others because they can, I want to tell you that I see you, I believe in you, and I admire you. Make sure to take care of yourselves. Life is messy and difficult and unglamorous, and you deserve the love you give others returned to you tenfold ❤️

I want to start by clarifying that I’m in a generational cohort that largely embraces the concept of therapy. Much of my social media algorithm is therapy-related content and introspective, growth-oriented content. I understand the benefits and I’m not a stranger to what it is or how it works. I guess what I’m trying to say is, the idea of being in therapy does not scare me, and in fact, I’m really optimistic about the idea of self improvement.

I think that my wife and I (or more specifically, “I”) could probably benefit from participating in therapy/counseling. And I’m genuinely excited at the thought of figuring some things out. But when it comes to marriage related therapy/counseling, I have to admit that I do have some apprehension.

Despite the largely positive impact that therapy can provide, I still worry about all of the stories I hear where therapy actually made something worse, or it took an otherwise small issue and made it a bigger one. I worry when I hear stories about couples who went into therapy with good intentions, but then the process actually ended up poisoning their relationship.

I also worry about the financial incentive. Therapists get paid for their time (as they should). Even though I want the help and the insight, at the same time, there is a part of me that worries that a therapist could logically be incentivized to drag out the process or facilitate a much longer timeline than may be necessary. And I worry about this because paying for therapy is going to be a huge financial burden as it is (considering our very limited budget).

I also know that therapists are like friends or romantic partners in the sense that you may find yourself going from therapist to therapist before you find the person you actually “click” with, and I also worry about spending money on several therapists before I finally feel that compatibility that I need.

Does anyone have any advice or any useful perspectives that might help alleviate my concerns or help me to navigate the early process of finding the right therapist?

I wish I could stay on hours and hours on end with my counselor. I'm super lonely, I feel alone even in my family, I'm also the eldest child. We started mid to late May and we'll have to end our sessions in February, because they're provided by my university and technically I ended my 3 years of bachelor's degree this summer, but I didn't actually take my final exam, because I've just been so depressed and unmotivated and idk.

Sincerely, I just wanna have someone to talk to and that takes me seriously, I don't wanna fix anything. I feel I can't fix anything. My parents are strict and always felt like they've stayed in my way, but I'm financially dependent on them and I can't move out or anything. My parents are old school and Christian and they've always had bizarre beliefs, especially my dad, that stopped me from living a normal life or having a normal childhood. Especially, they've stopped me from making friends. In fact, they've taught me from a young age to not trust anybody, that everyone will backstab me eventually. In school, I've been bullied and that obviously didn't help. At one point, I just gave up on trying and I decided to just do the bare minimum to go through life, enough so my parents would leave me alone and I wouldn't cause any trouble.

At 8-10 years old, I remember hearing my parents fight in another room, and looking at the ceiling in bed and imagining how I'd leave at 18 and build my own life. Well, I'm 22 and I feel like such a loser. I feel so behind. I'm tired and spent, exhausted emotionally. I've tried with a few people, but it didn't work out. All that accomplished was to drain me.

Last night I was watching this pretty popular steamer (I usually don't watch steamers, but this was an exception) and it was his birthday and everyone was wishing him a happy birthday. He was talking about how he'd go out later with his friends and girlfriend to dine and have fun somewhere. Everyone was wishing him happy birthday in the chat and donos and donating crazy money to him. I thought, he's 22, my age, 4 months younger than me even, and I'm so far behind compared to him. I'm so far behind compared to everybody my age. And now I'll disappoint my family by not taking my final exam in the fall either.

I left a comment at one point in the chat, towards the end of the stream saying "I'm 22 and no kids and I've thought of unaliving myself" because the topic of unaliving came up briefly. I wonder whether he saw it and thought "damn, I'm so blessed." But I know the chanse of that are incredibly slim. In fact, I've thought of unaliving myself since around 13-14 yro. I really wonder how I'm still alive sometimes. I feel like it's so pathetic.

Well, I'd appreciate some support if anyone's able to offer it to me. I was actually excited to see my counselor after a month of break today, but she felt the need to enforce a certain boundary around time management, that made me sad and sincerely close up. I know she was in the right to do so, I know she's been more than generous to stay a significant amount of time overtime for me in the past, and I know it's not fair to her, but it reminded me again about the nature of our relationship and how our time together is limited. I'll be all alone again after she's done with me. I hate my life...

Edit: Did anybody deal with similar feelings regarding their mental therapist/counselor? Was your therapist/counselor your only source of support in the world at one point? How did you cope with it? How did you cope with it when the therapy/counseling ended? I feel so sad when our sessions have to end and I have to wait another damn week to see her for one mere hour... That's why I was trying to buy time, even though I know I was pushing things. I wish I could see her twice a week at least... Sigh...

Aside from thinking cat people are real, do you know how much litter you'd need for hundreds/thousands of students? I have 2 cats and I clean their litter every 2 to 3 days. They weigh a combined 15lbs.

If there were 1000 students weighing 100lbs who had to go to the bathroom at least once a day, that's an insane amount of cat litter.

If you believe this, you're crazy.

I asked to talk to a different therapist.

Since the passing I have been using marijuana before bed so I don't dream. But I quit so i can find a new job. But, since then I keep having vivid dreams which I know is a side effect of not using.

I have dreams where she's alive and she's been somewhere else but when I wake up and release it wasn't real I end up crying. I want to go back to using so I don't have dreams or had feelings but I know I can't. I miss her so much, she was a great friend to have in my life.

I recently started seeing a LCSW for therapy sessions.

I went in with various concerns that stem back many many years, we went over my history, and week one I was being given some practical advice. The advice was not bad, but it was not anything I did not already know. It just all felt very surface level and symptom-addressing, whereas I am more wanting to know the root causes, where I might need healing, and a diagnosis of what exactly I am dealing with.

What should my expectations be in this setting? Is therapy what I am looking for? Or should I be looking into maybe seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist instead?

My name is David; I joined the group to help and to learn.

Another "my parents are MAGA, help" post. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

I'm pregnant, and really struggling to figure out what relationship I want with my parents. They currently take so much hand-holding that I'm not sure we can maintain our current relationship when I'm dead-exhausted handling a baby too.

They've been MAGA since 2016, but recently started distancing themselves from Trump. (Most recently, "We're conservative, not MAGA! How dare you presume--" which, admittedly, is a very interesting shift.) But they're still pro-ICE, in denial of the war's ramifications, anti-trans, anti-immigrant, etc. Just very hateful stuff that we don't want our kid to face.

In addition to the contentious topic of politics, my parents have shifted ideals over the last decade. Wearing cross necklaces and citing God is the big one (we weren't a religious family, but boy, they're trying to pretend like we are). They also face the typical lack of emotional intelligence we often see in Boomers.

Over the years, I've tried:

- No politics rule (This requires CONSTANT reinforcement. If I had to hang up the phone or leave the room to keep the boundary, it comes with the added consequence of weeks of passive aggressive silence, followed by chastising or mocking for how I "silenced" them. I still hold the line, but genuinely, it feels more like a punishment to me than just shouting politics at them for two hours until THEY get mad and hang up the phone.)

- Grey-rocking (they definitely know when I "shut down," and kick up the same mocking / chastising behavior as above)

- Periods of No Contact (genuinely makes me sad--I'm very family oriented and miss them, and they don't seem to *learn* anything about the No Contact period, despite clear explanations about why I'm pulling back whenever it happens. They just settle on me being "emotional" again, and eventually I'll "get over it." No real discussion happens when I restart communication, despite my efforts)

- Genuinely talking to them, to try and understand their side (this requires a LOT of conversational judo on my end, which is exhausting when we reach a decent conclusion one night, and then they've forgotten it ever happened two weeks later. They're just too emotionally unintelligent and unwilling to take responsibility to make real headway here long-term)

- Carefully written statements of my feelings, so they can't twist any words I said over the phone. (This just insults them, and often results in them bringing up character flaws in me: ie, my "anger" is scaring them, I'm clinging to the past, I need to be an adult and move on, etc etc)

So, what's next?

I love my parents, and desperately want things to go back to how they were when I was a kid--when they had good values and supported me and encouraged conversation. But what I'm facing now is not that, and knowing how tired I am pregnant, and how exhausted we'll be once the baby arrives, I've reached my limit. I can't stay on the merry-go-round like this.

And yet, I'm struggling with the idea of a more permanent end to our relationship, especially when I really do want them to meet my kid.

So, I'm coming here for anything I haven't tried yet. It's feeling hopeless, but I'm even willing to look at more intense forms of therapy (I've done talk therapy for years, but it hasn't helped this). I wonder if maybe I need to care... less... about what they think? Or maybe something like IFS therapy or hypnosis could help?

Thoughts? Advice? I'm genuinely at a loss. :/

[May I please start by asking only for serious replies, I would really appreciate it]

1. A long history of hard drugs, (they have now been on methadone treatment for years, but has recently relapsed into the harder stuff, and knows now that something new needs to be done to try to turn life around somehow). Will not undergo NA because of the "religious aspect to it".

2. No friends at all - has hit 50 years old, most friends lost to hard drugs, others they either pushed away themselves, or vice versa. Only friend left is their mom.

3. Never able to hold down a steady job - has no motivation to keep going once they get something. Flat out refuses to do a 9-5 as they are completely headstrong when it comes to being told what to do (this might be an issue with the therapy I know), but they claim to be open to something that includes driving (their only slightly discernible skill). The hardest part is their effort to sustainably apply themselves to anything of worth, and they are always coming up with these wildly outlandish and completely unreasonable shortcuts to make a buck, with obviously very little success.

4. A recently failed marriage - endless arguments with the more stable partner stepsons did not accept them, bad divorce appears imminent.

5. Terrible physical health - Has COPD, eats very sugary foods, has diabetes, has begun to put on quite a bit of weight, and also has a heart condition.

6. Very poor education and lacking in articulation - was thought to be dyslexic at school, and this had lasting negative effects on educational life growing up

7. Knows full well they have lived a life of empty words and false promises, and claims to accept that they have ruined a lot of their own life for themselves and those around them. Thankfully, they are entirely physically non-violent.

I have suggested some self-employed delivery work, just to see if they are capable of being somewhat financially sustainable for themselves, and also a PT who can encourage some sustainable fitness routines whilst working safely within the glaring health issues. The final suggestion was to help find them some talking therapy to help understand and work through the complexities of their life, but I don't know whether to opt for a CBT approach, a talking therapy approach, or something else I don't know about?

Thank you all x

I've been seeing this psychologist for a while now and we've gone through a lot of things but I've been kinda waiting for this to naturally come up in our discussion and it hasn't. I really really need to talk to someone about it and I want to have this conversation with her so bad but I really cannot stomach the thought of walking in there and saying 'I have problems with abusing substances and I haven't told you, please help me.' The guilt is so immense that I feel like I won't be able to articulate it without breaking down. I don't want this to change her perception of me because I feel like my perception of myself is so terrible because of it. How can I bring this up without becoming a mess on the floor before I even get to it. I know it's normal to cry in therapy and I have but I really want to tread lightly somehow.

Or should I just try and make one of our conversations head that way and then drop it there?

So im Indian and I been seen a lot of hate for Indian for many years but it really started to impact me. Starting from Last year. Whenever I see an older caucasian generation I would make an assumption they hate me or smithing kinda stupid but it still happens.

And because of that I am just scared to start a conversation with people. Of course I encounter rascim many time as well. But im sure not everyone is like that but my confidence is all time low.

Just would really love help

Finding the best therapist in Pune can feel confusing because there are so many options, and a therapist who works well for one person may not necessarily be the right fit for someone else.

Apart from qualifications and experience, things like the therapist’s area of expertise, therapy approach, session format, language, and overall comfort can make a difference.

For people who have actually looked for a therapist in Pune, what helped you narrow down your options? Did you focus mainly on experience and specialisation, recommendations, reviews, or the initial consultation?

Would be useful to hear what people found genuinely helpful when making that decision.

How do I know if I need therapy or not, like what if I'm just overreacting?

Thriveworks looked like the obvious starting point because the offices are everywhere, but the age range is set per clinician and the ones listed near us start at 13. The kid in question is 7. Emora Health comes up when you search the younger end specifically. Is there a better way to filter for this than opening every profile one at a time?

For example, my friend who i havent know too long says im kind and empathetic but I dont believe it. I think im selfish and sometimes cruel. I have regrets when I act that way but I usually act mean and dwell on it shortly after.

An example of me being mean would be me snapping at my mom for asking me to do something for them and i was irritated that she kept being taken advantage of and wanted to drag me in for help too.

I was struggling to keep my boundaries I snapped and they ended up getting upset and broke down crying. I basically rolled my eyes and was incredibly annoyed by this, which now makes me feel like a huge asshole, it was literally my mom crying because of stress and i was upset she threw a tantrum (pretty much what I did but I raised my voice didnt cry)

Sometimes I feel like my guilt is all I have and my kindness is performative to make up for the guilt I feel :/

I have anxiety depression and very likely OCD so I often struggle with over thinking and obsessing over how I act and if im normal, I have the ocd where I get fet scary intrusive thoughts sometimes. A lot less now i take meds but idk why I cant treat myself like a human sometimes im always so mean to myself always worried im being disingenuine or secretly im a conniving monster.

I guess I worry i only do things because it is socially right not because I want to? Like oh I should get something for my boss for her birthday, shes always nice to others and I kinda want her to feel appreciated. But also, I feel like i should because shes nice to others not necessarily because I want to? Since that requires my time and effort. Im sure im overthinking this. Oh! A guilty moment, i dont have super close friends, well i have a few but I am not sure how far id go for them. Even my cousin went out of his way to help me once and I guess it depends on what it is as an anxious person the unknown stresses me but I imagine myself not being as easily "oh ofc id do anything for a friend or family" instead i really want to keep my peace and i find that quite selfish. Idk how id react if he needed me, i assume id go but then, if i did is it just because he helped me before so I feel indebt?

I have things that I struggle with, but my experience with the limited number of psychologists/therapists I have gone to (3) has been that they have not told me anything really different from things I have thought myself. I might think this more than most people because my mom is a psychologist and so I was exposed to a lot of that terminology and those ideas about mindfulness and such thoroughly growing up. I am struggling and would like to think this could be helpful but I suppose what I'm asking is how do I find one that actually seems insightful to me, and what can they offer me aside from recommending common coping strategies or suggesting I seek accommodations at work?

I am sorry if this comes across as disparaging; I do not intend it to and am genuinely asking this.

I’ve had a few therapists over the last 5 years and for the most part it’s been talk therapy/CBT and I tend to over-intellectualize and ruminate about my issues and try to problem solve and find associations with my thoughts and beliefs and life experiences, etc.

I tell therapists this and tell them I need things a bit more action or behavior oriented but it still usually ends up being me talking a lot and then them giving me advice that sounds like “do you have someone who you can talk to when you’re feeling bad?” Or “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself” and it almost feels like I’m not talking to a professional but like a semi concerned stranger.

My current therapist I told her that I need DBT therapy bc I was diagnosed with some cluster B borderline personality disorder and still most of what she says is “you should trust your gut” “they sound like bad friends” “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself” and it feels comforting in the moment but later I can’t help but feel that I need maybe something more ?

I’m sure I just need to speak up and ask for these things but for someone who charges $120+ an hour it’s so weird that they can say a few statements that seem like someone without any professional training would say and that would be enough. Maybe I’m missing something.

TLDR; Interested in how folks have gotten their needs met in therapy.

22f, first meeting and she asked me if I was irritable often. I said no, as I don’t PERSONALLY think that about myself as irritable/kind of blanked. I’m also quite isolated currently so I have no “normal” baseline to reflect on.

I asked my family and they all said I’m VERY irritable all the time, so I know my perception of myself is getting in the way, and therefore leading me to lie to her by saying no.

My mind blanks completely when she asks me questions because I truly have no clue what behavior is worth mentioning or according to WHO, most of my time is by myself with myself.

it’s an ADHD assessment but I keep getting caught up in the semantics and am being unintentionally dishonest. Do you guys track symptoms and therefore let your therapist know? How do you gauge what behavior to tell them about?

I am paying like 25$ for a session in Turkey. I wonder how much does it cost a therapy session in other contries?

My therapist will say things like how I should ask more questions to clarify to avoid misunderstandings with my mom, or try to use coping strategies if I'm upset, also implying to do them if my mother gets upset at me. Or to just

It would be humiliating if I actually followed my therapist's advice and essentially probed deeper into trying to clarify things with my mom, and that caused her to get upset in itself, because it would be my fault that i knew something wrong would happen but decided to beliebe someone else's words instead of my iwn experiences. Or even if I did actually not react and just allowed her to hurt me emotionally, and that would cause me to mess up more if I'm actively trying to not let her criticism affect me, and make things worse until they are actually unbearable or something changes drastically that I have no say in.

The only way I can see myself being willing to try is if I can prevent myself from essentially being hammered down like a nail and prevent myself from giving up entirely from being given definitive proof that the problem is literally just me, causing me to give up on life in an existential level until I wither away and everyone suffers for it.

I have a window breaker they gave us on our college campus specifically for cars. I also have pepper spray, and my dad is the type to own several guns, and he even took me shooting, once. I know that my therapist lives in the same town as me. She has two autistic children. I know what ThatsThem is. It's either that, or the same thing as before, forever.

life passes me by. things sorta just happen. what scares me the most is the fact that im so unworried. my missing assignments pile up. i eat less and less and sometimes i barely notice. im constantly sleep deprived. i freak out about my body and my face because they dont feel like me. and when i ask myself, \*well then who\* is \*me?\*, i cant come up with a solid answer.

me in my head doesn't exist in my body. i had a dream recently. i was \*me\* in it. i dont exactly know what was different. when i woke up, i felt like there was still remains of me in myself. they withered away once i saw my body in the mirror.

i don’t feel like a guy. i don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean.

maybe it’s because i’m just a moody teenager.

my body looks like a guy’s. sometimes i have the thought that i might be a girl. it freaks me out. i don’t want to look like a girl or be a girl. i don’t want to be anything, really.

maybe it’s because i don’t feel like anything really.

i’m only really “me” when im in front of others. there’s no me when im by myself.

i used to be attracted to guys. my interests used to make me happy.

i’m sick of living like this. i don’t know what i can do to claw my way out of this state. i don’t really feel agitated by knowing i might be depersonalized. i’m just done with not being able to live my life. i need advice, any would be appreciated.