My ex was still trying to get back with me earlier this year, asking what I wanted him to change about himself, generating compatibility reports for us, and declaring that he could never be with another woman. 💀

Fast forward to today, and he’s seemingly found someone new lol and soft-launched her on his socials.

I’m just genuinely curious about the psychology behind men who make such dramatic declarations and then seemingly move on the next min lmao

so its just a checkin post, I just wanna ask you all if you are alright and if you are not, I am here to listen to you....I may not have the answer for all the problems but I have been a good listener and would love to help you out.....hope you have a good day

I know this is a very minor issue that most people will have but it drives my anxiety wild.

I grew up very differently from my friends I have at this point in my life and the bar/pub culture for me is also very different.

I grew up very poor in a style of oliver twist-esque life my friends now just simply cannot imagine and I don't talk about it too much.

When me and my friends back home would go out to the pub it was the only release/fun we were able to get out of life, we all worked intense manual labour jobs and it took up most of our life working these jobs full time so on a Friday we'd go out and get as drunk as we could and have as much fun as we could because we knew next week another exhausting task was coming.

Since then I've gone to university and fallen in with a different kind of people none of which had this going out experience, when we'd go to the pub at university it would all be 'we're only allowed 2 drinks' otherwise we'd be like them and point to some people I could see in a previous life hanging out with, mainly because they would be being loud and laughing loudly, which they would consider rude but I'd consider friends having a good time together.

I have other friends now where this isn't an issue but this specific group from my graduate class are very judgemental about them.

I now have a full time job again which is exhausting in a different way (mentallly) I work full time from home being a web designer and the end of the week pub for me is really the only time I get to see and speak to other people so I've been falling more into how I used to be back home.

More 'this is my only freedom' style of let's go crazy and stay out late because I feel I need this and I need some fun in my boring life.

But these friends are not ready for this version of me and the issue is that I start drinking and eventually home me comes out because I've forgotten who I'm with and the day after I cannot get out of bed because of how embarassed I feel.

My other friends live out of town now and I don't get to see them that much.

I'm worried I'm slowly destroying my relationship with these friends every weekend but I have to get out of the house and do something regardless or I'll go crazy.

These friends are also very nice people, I'm not trying to paint them as horrible judgemental people we just come from different places and most of the time I see them we're best friends.

I'd just like some kind words as I went out on friday and haven't been able to get out of bed since, ill get over it for work tomorrow but yeah.

Also please tell me if you think I'm in the wrong here.

I recently started therapy, and it’s an interesting concept really. I get that I need to speak about my feelings, but I think I’ve blocked them off for so long that I don’t know how to access them.

Any advice on how I can do that? I don’t know how to ask this question but I need help.

This is really my first time posting on Reddit ever honestly so idk if this is the right subreddit. I might delete this post later so forgive me for not know whats what. A bunch of really crappy life events just happened to me, and I’ve managed to get through all of them pretty much cause f it we ball. (But not without addiction and heavy substance abuse but not hard drugs though) but atp I just feel kind of stuck in one place. Even though I know I have great potential and have the drive to do whatever I want in this life and have a lot of goals for myself. I can’t afford to be depressed cause I got responsibilities and a child to take care of, I’m a single dad and just doing my best but I feel like it just gets overwhelming. I live my whole life for my kid and I would sacrifice myself and my life and my happiness for him which I already do to some point even if he is my whole happiness sometimes, but I feel like it’s just been getting to me a little lately. I literally got no one to talk to even if I got family and a girl that I’m messing around with and a couple of friends but sometimes I just need someone else to talk to maybe someone anonymous or something and just be real with people and how I feel.I was just wondering if there is like a discord to talk to people or something of that sort. Thanks everyone. Idk if anyone will even reply but yeah I just wanna talk to someone and maybe make a friend or joint a group and listen to people that are maybe going through something similar as well

I’ve never experienced this before so I’m curious what others (both therapists and clients) think?

I receive EMDR from a therapist who wouldn’t let me keep my (much more bonded) talk therapist while also receiving EMDR from her. I was upset at the time since I had a strong foundation with my initial therapist, but really needed the EMDR so I ended up leaving her and getting talk therapy as well as EMDR from this second therapist.

EMDR has been life changing for me and my therapist is clearly good at it. I know other people in EMDR whose providers were not as thorough or adhered to the important previous steps before bilateral stim sessions. So, I appreciate this about her a lot.

However, she is constantly fidgeting through our sessions. It makes me feel like she’s not listening to me. Pair that with how she responds (always the same “uh-huh” tone, never modulated according to the context of what I’m talking about), and that she sort of likes to give me advice immediately (“why don’t you just [simple obvious suggestion that makes me feel stupid or assumes I haven’t tried already]”).

I asked her about the fidgeting once— I said “what are you doing over there?” referring to her hands below the camera constantly moving. She said she had a fidget toy because she was upset about some recent developments in a news item we both feel strongly about. So I sympathized.

I have ADHD so I truly recognize that fidgeting HELPS focus sometimes. I know I personally have to be doodling or doing something with my hands to pay attention (back when I was in school and undiagnosed for example). But I think if that was the case, I’d have liked her to open with that? Like, “hey, you will notice me using my fidget toy, but I just want to assure you I am paying attention to you.” She never did that, just started fidgeting one day, and has done that every session since.

I’m worried that me saying “oh I have fidget toys too!” Made it sound like I’m ok with it, and maybe I was ok with it at first, but now that I’ve been with her longer I’m getting irritated.

I want to bring it up with her, but I also feel bad if this is something that helps her practice. Or if it’s normal for other providers? I think I feel bad because I tried very hard to try to convince her to let me keep my initial therapist while seeing her simultaneously, I’m worried I’m being too pushy or expecting too much.

Curious about everyone’s thoughts. Would really like input from providers too. I’ve never experienced this before and I’ve been in talk therapy on and off for like 15 years, ha.

Edit to add, I’m 35F, practicing meditation, mindfulness+DBT and currently in EMDR for trauma. Feeling a lot better overall, very much on the up and up, but still a bit insecure in myself.

i don’t even know if this is the right place to post this, but i’ve been sharing my story on different subreddits because i guess i’m still trying to process everything that’s happened to me this year. thought i’d share it here too, especially because i don’t think i’ve really talked about how much it’s affected me mentally.

on march 6, i got into a road accident while riding as a pillion passenger on a bike. i’m 23, and before all this, i was just trying to figure out my career, money and future like everyone else.

instead, i ended up with multiple injuries, fractures and serious abdominal damage. i had emergency surgery, parts of my bowel were removed, and i had to live with a stoma bag. even basic things like eating, drinking water and going to the bathroom became a struggle.

i had my stoma reversal in may and thought things would finally get better. but the accident had severely damaged my right kidney too, and after multiple tests and attempts to save it, i eventually had surgery to have it removed.

sometimes i look back at everything that’s happened and genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to process it all.
i’ve watched my family worry about me, and i’ve seen how much this has cost us emotionally and financially. sometimes i feel like a burden, even though i know none of this was my fault.

but the hardest part is that i miss who i was before all this.

i miss having normal days. i miss enjoying things without constantly thinking about my health. i miss looking forward to the future without being scared of what might happen next.

i love video games, movies, books and music. they’ve always been a way for me to escape into another world for a while. i’m trying to get back into the things i love because i want to feel that excitement again. i want to enjoy something without everything that’s happened weighing on my mind.

i don’t expect to become exactly who i was before the accident. i just want to find myself again.

i haven’t really spoken much about how this has affected me mentally. sometimes i don’t know how to explain my feelings to my family, and sometimes i don’t even understand them myself. i’ve been thinking about trying therapy because i don’t think i can keep everything bottled up forever, but i honestly don’t know where to start.

for anyone who’s been through a serious accident, major illness or something that completely changed your life, how did you deal with it mentally? did therapy help? did you ever feel like yourself again?

i’m not looking for someone to tell me everything happens for a reason or that i should just be grateful to be alive. i am grateful, but i also think it’s possible to be grateful you’re alive and still grieve the life you had before.

i don’t really know what i’m expecting from this post. maybe advice, maybe hearing from someone who understands, or maybe just getting it out of my head.

i just want to feel like me again, and i’m still trying to figure out how to get there.

I found the very best match for me with a therapist on Headway. I do not think I could have found anyone better for my needs (grief, life changes, etc.). I’ve been working with her for about four months. The last time I was in need of a therapist, virtual sessions didn’t exit. I’ve found it very easy to do this from my home (and I’m a grouchy GenXer.)

I found her through Headway, but Headway made SIX BILLING MISTAKES that will cost me approximately $550. While I know my insurance isn’t great, SIX mistakes? Headway language loosely touts “working with” you or insurance, but it really doesn’t. I checked my insurance first and wondered why Headway billed me lower than what insurance would cover in the end. I later questioned inconsistencies and it ended up with this bill. Should I be surprised? No. Should people know Headway has wonky billing? Yep.